


The Mail Order Husband

by SatansSin



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Comfort, F/M, Falling In Love, Grief, Hurt, Loss, M/M, Mail ordered husband, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2018-09-01 11:43:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 28
Words: 269,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8623282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SatansSin/pseuds/SatansSin
Summary: Prince Thor has a very strange problem. And to solve that problem he finds an even stranger solution. And that solution comes with a series of complications Prince Thor had never even thought about.Now the Prince is stuck in a situation where everything is chaos but he sort of likes it.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Golikethat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Golikethat/gifts).



> Tags will probably increased as the story goes on. Written for golikethat, who gave me this fabulous idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have aTumblr!
> 
> satanssyn-n-things.tumblr!
> 
> Send me love and ideas and talk to me dears!

The Sons of Odin were two very different men, no matter how anyone saw them. It was strange, given the fact that both of them would grow up with the same parents, the same teachers and in the same palace.

They would have the same treatment, the same love and the same care from family and friends. They had the same opportunities and they were taught the same values. Every night they would be given a sweet, a kiss and a bed time story by their beautiful mother, Gaia, then covered by the same blankets that were knit by the same woman.

Not Gaia, the poor woman could do much, being Queen of the Kingdom, but knitting was something that was far beyond her reach. She had tried, oh how she had, under the watchful eye of the former Queen, Sovereign, Monarch, Her Majesty and the one and only woman her husband Odin, truly feared.

His Mother.

Queen Bestla.

The half blood Queen, called by those who had their heads lopped off early in her rule for calling her so. She was a frightening thing to behold then and had only improved in her intimidation, heighted by the fact that her red hair hadn’t lost colour over years. It was rumoured to spread and wrap around those who defied her and crushed them till their bones turned to dust and their skin turned to ashes.

Gaia just thought she brushed it upside down to make herself terrifying every now and then. She wouldn’t put it past her, Bestla was notorious for taking care of her boredom by frightening people half to death.

And ever since she wed Odin, the King and ruler of the Eternal Realm of Asgard, she found that he was the one who was most targeted.

She had lost count after the initial years of her marriage, the times Odin yelped to tacks beneath his favourite seat cushion or how Gaia had to watch him grumble as she pulled thorns and thistles from her poor husband’s hair.

But Odin, poor devoted Odin, said not a word to his mother.

Either because he feared her too much or loved her too much.

There were times Gaia herself couldn’t tell.

She had thought that Asgard, the most strongest and largest of the realms of Yggdrasil, was a place as stern as her exterior.

Built, seemingly from gold itself and named everything from the Land of Treasures to the sought after El Dorado,  Asgard was a miracle to behold. Resting at the very top, she was something that mortals worshipped and pledged loyalty to. She was something that made the dreams and prayers of mortals come to life.

She was home to the gods of old.

She was the Norse gods’ titanic home, where everyone lived and dwelled as equals and bowed only to their King.

Gaia had been intimidated, to say the least. Her wedding to the future King, Son of Bor was set in stone from the moment he saw her at the ball. She had been the Vanir princess, dressed to her best, her golden hair spun into elaborate plaits, her delicate hands encased in jewellery that matched up to her station. Her dress was said to be made from the silk produced by the spiders in Alfhiem and her eyes were painted with the dust of the stones brought from Vanir mountains. Her eyes, caught Odin, she knew that, big, round, almost too big. Her face was soft, her skin tender to the touch.

Odin had seen her from across the room as he made his first appearance after the death of his beloved father.

A newly crowned King, just barely of age, he had golden hair, the famed blue eyes that captured the hearts of hundreds of women and the height that had made King Bor proud. He was a warrior, with hard hands and a spirit rumoured to match.

She was nineteen, he was twenty four years of age.

By the critique of many, he was still a young man, but a young man to be proud of.

He had fought wars, defeated common enemies and was set to do something that even Bor couldn’t.

He was the one who would defeat the Jotuns.

Not that Gaia was able to tell as she had seen him gulp down keg after keg of her father’s delicious mead.

He was in a battle with her elder brother Vili, who was, in her opinion, a good match for Odin. Perhaps if nature allowed men to bear children, they would have made a great couple.

What an inappropriate thought it was, but she still remembered it, because at that moment, Odin had set his keg down and spotted her.

She could have sworn something hit him in the head then, because he had frozen, gone absolutely still as he looked upon her, his eyes going from her hair to her eyes, to her dress and everything about her.

She had moved, just to see if he followed her and he had, making her blush and go to where her mother had been, to talk to her.

Next day, to no one’s surprise, Odin’s proposal had been sent for her, with the gift of a thousand Aesir jewels, all of them for her.

A thousand!

Gaia was a spoiled girl, from birth, her parents spoiled her, giving her what she wanted, telling her she was their beloved.

She had learned the delicate arts of painting, drawing, music, dancing and command of the languages. She read and wrote, she stitched and sewed, but for the life of her, she could not knit!

It was the one thing that lacked in her and the one thing that Bestla demanded she return if she accepted the proposal.

And oh, how frustrated Gaia had been that day.

She had tempted to tell the best knitting woman in the palace to make her a duvet worthy of her future husband’s bed or a hat to keep his head warm or a cloak to make his hunting easier.

But she did not.

Because the monstrous knitted entity she had sent back to Bestla with her acceptance scroll, was nothing short of a disaster. By the stars, the Queen looked at it for a long time and gave up trying to decipher the thick, badly knotted carpet of wool and frustration that had been sent to her.

Tossing it aside, she had simply told Odin to unleash his joy because he was about to be wed.

Since he was her only child, the wedding was grand.

Every King from the neighbouring realms was invited. Every princess, too, many of them weeping and hissing at the fact that Odin, the man they fancied was being wed to a bug eyed, blonde haired ninny.

They hadn’t been quiet about it.

And the protected, loved and sensitive Gaia heard their hateful words, not an hour after she was pronounced wed to the most powerful man in the universe.

That night, after the feasting was done, Odin found her weeping her eyes out in their marital bed. His heart already belonged to her but that night, as he held her petite figure in his arms and let her ruin his sleep robes with her tears and face powder, he realized she had taken his spirit, too.

He was hers in every way.

And to this day, eleven years after they were wed, he was still in love with her, just as much as the day he first saw her.

Two sons and Asgard’s wonderful cooking had given her a slight waist and hip, but whenever she felt conscious about it, Odin reassured her that he loved it with passionate bouts of love making.

And though she wouldn’t admit, sometimes she pretended to be self-conscious, for that exact reason.

Tonight, she sat by the bedside of her two beloved darlings, watching them sleep to the sound of her voice.

Thor, the eldest, was nine years old and Balder, her spoiled baby, was one.

Both of them were so beautiful.

Thor inherited her blue eyes and hair, Odin’s spirit and Bestla’s penchant for doing things that were forbidden. Balder had his grandfather’s brown hair and their blue eyes, he had Odin’s patience and Gaia’s own sensitivity.

There was more than one occasion she saw him cry over things Thor hadn’t in that age.

They both loved to hear her singing, however, and she watched, her hair done up, as they always were, in braids, her robe tight around her and her soft hands stroking their little feet.

She sang them stories about their father. She told them of his bravery and courage and how he defeated creature beyond this world and others. She knew Tor loved the stories and Balder loved her voice. They were so different, after all.

As she did every night, she kept them company till they were fast asleep, then watched over them, whispering spells to calm their little hearts and to keep their dreams gentle.

And as it happened every night, at the exact moment the clock struck nine, the door to the boys’ room would open and Gaia would turn to see Odin standing there, arms crossed, leaning against the door as he watched the three people who had taken his heart.

He didn’t say a word, not until her voice faded off and she stopped singing, then he smiled and watched her kiss their little heads and douse the light in the room.

Gaia was beautiful and Odin felt his lips curl into a smile when she walked towards him, her small hands extended to grab his.

“My King” she bowed, her soft, supple hands settled in Odin’s “You returned early”

“Aye” Odin smiled, reaching out and stroking her cheek “I missed my Queen dearly, I had to”

“Have you met your mother?” Gaia asked softly, letting him pull her against him and nuzzle her throat “She was asking about you all day”

“Possibly to bestow upon me another one of her nefarious pranks, no doubt” Odin rumbled, kissing her neck, then her jaw and cheek “She can wait”

Gaia smiled as Odin pulled her from the boys’ room and took her to their own, closing the door after them with a solid click of the lock that wouldn’t open for hours.

***

The morning light settled over the sleeping Kingdom like a blanket and the royal couple, still resting, shifted closer to one another. Gaia’s opened hair cascaded behind her and Odin curled under the covers, hogging them as he usually did, though the endeavour was unsuccessful.

Gaia, for all her delicacy and femininity, the woman showed remarkable strength when Odin tried to take the covers from her. There were many nights he had spent curled up in a corner with nothing but his cape over him while Gaia took the bed and blankets.

Not that she would ever confess, her explanation was that Odin simply gave them to her at night.

Odin didn’t contradict, both out of love and the fact that she was somewhat right. He never had the heart to take them back from her.

That night, however, there was a chill in the air and he pulled her close to him, curled up to avoid it and keep warm.

They slept peacefully the entire night and when the light hit their rooms, they remained undisturbed.

However, as the morning warmed their world, the door to their room opened with little ceremony and the figure of a blonde haired, blue eyed little menace walked over. There were no signs of sleep in him and he walked to where his father was, smiling at him and slipped his cold hands slowly under the sheets where Odin’s feet were.

Odin hissed and pulled his feet back

“Gaia” he groaned in half sleep “Your son is awake”

Gaia hummed and shifted, turning to her side and exhaling softly “Not today, he’s yours”

Hearing their mumbles, Thor, heir to Asgard, chuckled and slipped under the covers, giggling.

“Father….” He whined

Odin huffed as he felt Thor climb on him and come to lay on his chest. He looked at him, raising the sheets as Thor’s head popped up right in front of his.

“It’s tomorrow” Thor announced “Wake up”

Odin groaned and fell back “Go to sleep, Thor….”

“No, you promised” Thor sat astride him and grabbed his collar, pulling him up as best he could “Father…!”

Odin threw an arm over his eyes, smiling when Thor tried to pry it off.

“Wake up!” Thor groaned, pulling his arm “You said you would take me riding, get up!”

Odin grinned as he felt Thor grab his tunic and try to make him sit. He went limp, the deviant that he was and heard Thor’s huff before he let him go and fall back.

“Fine” Thor said, glaring at him as he sat on his chest “I will tell grandmother then”

“I’m awake” Odin growled, sitting up

Thor smiled and got off, standing there like a well-mannered nine year old.

Odin ran a hand through his hair and looked at Thor.

“Go get your brother and bid your grandmother good morn” he said “I will be there in a few minutes”

Thor smiled, bowed to Odin, then rushed off, his bare feet smacking the expensive palace marble.

Odin groaned and fell back, half draped on Gaia

“What did you eat before you had him?”

Gaia hummed “I ate what I normally do. This is all from your side, my love, your mother has told me of the terror you were”

“I was never like this” Odin said “It’s impossible to sleep”

“Nay, my darling” Gaia said “impossible to sleep will be when he reaches his teen years”

Odin stilled and let out a despairing noise “Oh Valhalla forbid”

Gaia chuckled and stretched out with her hand, looking for Odin’s. When he obliged, she brought it to his lips and kissed his knuckles.

“Go, darling,” she said “I will hear about your day later”

Odin hummed and sat up before he headed to the bathing chambers to start his routine. He took his time, wanting Thor to learn and practice patience.

It wasn’t long but when he came back out, Thor was standing there, dressed to the nines – Bestla’s work, no doubt – with a sleepy and equally well dressed Balder beside him.

Odin smiled at them and ruffled Thor’s hair as he passed, going to get his riding gear. They were silent because Gaia was still asleep and he handed Thor his boots to carry outside.

“Come on, then” Odin said, guiding them out “Let’s see what the world has in store for me”

“Giants!” Thor said, swinging Odin’s boots with all the might of a nine year old “I will fight them all and slay them!”

Balder, even in his young age, gave his brother a judging look and kept an eye on the boots. It made Odin chuckle and he picked Balder up, setting him on his shoulders and holding his tiny legs.

“You know a wise King doesn’t seek out war” Odin pointed out

“Aye, but he wins them!”

Balder decided then that he had no interest in listening to them and that chewing Odin’s hair was a much better way to spend his time. His blue eyes watched the path they took as they headed to the royal stables.

His eyes widened at the horses and he let out an excited squeal, slapping his tiny hands on Odin’s head.

“Fa!” he called, “Fa!”

“Aye, my darling, I am here” Odin said, giving him a squeeze “You like the horses?”

“Hmm?”

“Horses, Balder, you like them?”

Balder smiled, slapping Odin’s head again, jumping on his shoulders “Fa!”

He gave excited coos and screeched loudly, yanking on Odin’s hair as they went to Odin’s warhorse. It was a huge horse and Balder’s eyes widened as he was taken from Odin and set atop the horse.

Immediately, he started to play with the mane, humming and singing to himself before he looked at is brother.

“Tho!” he called, following it with a series of coos that Odin didn’t understand.

Thor clearly did because he puffed up his chest “I ride my own horse from now, Balder. I am too old to share”

Balder looked at him silently, a slow grin forming on his face. He screeched and pat the horse again, making Odin wince.

“Alright, Thor” Odin said “On your pony, go on”

Thor walked to a chestnut yearling, petting its muzzle. The horse, already a flirt of the highest kind, burred and nudged Thor, knowing that it would get treats.

And from his spot, Odin shook his head as Thor predictably pulled out the treats he wanted.

Silently, he realized Gaia was right – Thor was going to be a handful in his teen years.

***

The path they took was the scenic route and Thor, after calming down from his frustration of being unable to saddle his horse properly, really enjoyed it. He rode his yearling beside Odin and Balder, controlling it the way Odin taught him.

His blue eyes were focused on the landscape and he watched animals and birds that occasionally made an appearance around them.

Balder, for his part, was eating the apple Odin had sliced for him before they left, suckling and biting to his contentment as he leaned back against Odin. He was the spoiled one, for sure.

As they rode on further, Thor turned and looked at Odin

“Father, is that the mountain where you and the Demon King met?” he pointed to a peak miles and miles away.

It was so far, only the most faded hint of it was seen through the Asgardian skies.

Odin looked at him and smiled “Aye, Memphisto, his name was. We were deciding a peace treaty”

“Did it work?” Thor asked “I bet it worked, I bet he was willing to sign everything you said”

Odin smiled “It doesn’t work that way, son. Both sides have to compromise”

“What if there is something they do not want to compromise on?” Thor asked

“Then we have a discussion” Odin said “They lay down their compromises to that point and we do ours. Then we pick and choose what is acceptable and what isn’t. In the end, it’s all about compromise”

Thor hummed “I wouldn’t. I would be King and Kings can make others listen”

“Not other kings” Odin said “That would make you a tyrant”

“What’s a tyrant?” Thor asked

“An oppressor, a dictator, a despot, an autocrat and a megalomaniac” Odin answered.

Thor blinked at him, lost

“A bully, Thor” Odin chuckled

“Oh …” Thor said, then looked ahead “You could have said that before”

“And missed the look on your face?” Odin asked “Never”

Thor hummed and rode along for a while “You know, you say you have matured but Grandmother and I disagree. We think you are still the child you always were”

“Am I?” Odin asked, amused

“Aye” Thor gave him a superior look “You are”

“Would a child be riding a war horse then?” Odin asked

“Only when the child is a thousand years old”

Odin gaped “You have a lip on you, you know that?”

Thor snickered “Yes, I got it from your side of the family”

Odin inclined his jaw and gave him a dry glare. Of course it lacked heat, he could never be angry at his son.

“Did Mother tell you to say that?” he asked

“No, I observe” he said, riding across the plains.

As they chatted and moved on ahead, Balder finished his apple and looked around. They had a basket behind them, filled with fruits of all sorts and a snack collection enough to sate the appetite of even the heartiest of boys.

As they turned a curve in the path, Balder gave an excited shriek and pointed to the scenery ahead. It was beautiful, open and the sound of the thin stream was too much for the boy. He wanted it and he wanted it now!

Thor looked at his brother, then smiled at Odin.

“Looks like we found our picnic stop”

Odin chuckled and bent to kiss Balder on the head “Aye, we did.”

The baby couldn’t conceal his delight at having gotten his way and he smacked his hands, once more on Odin’s steed. The horse merely shivered as though annoyed by the fly and moved to where Odin wanted when it was prompted.

Thor followed right after and then got off his horse. He took Balder and set him at his hip, then the basket of snacks as Odin tended to the horses. He went and placed their blanket down and sat Balder on it carefully. Once his brother was safe, Thor sat next to him and set the basket down to open.

Balder sat heavily upon his royal bottom, his eyes focused on the stream. It was blue, sparkling and it sounded absolutely amazing. They were not that far off and Balder wanted it! He wanted the beautiful water all to himself.

He heard Odin and Thor talk amongst themselves as they looked within the basket and pulled out various food items. They were busy and for the moment, Balder had his freedom. His mouth curled into a big grin and he started to crawl, moving off the blanket, onto the soft, green grass.

It tickled his palms as he headed to the crisp waters, his eyes widening at the fact when he actually reached it.

Odin was reaching into the basket to pull out a jar of norns knew what for Balder to have when he heard a splash.

He looked up and his eyes went wide in horror.

“Balder!!”

***

In the parlour, set for her particular use, sat the former and current queen, both of them deep in concentration of one of the hardest things they could face.

It was an enigma, something that was slowly taking parts of their patience and ripping it apart bit by bit. It was something that they had been working on for eternity and it didn’t go as planned.

They always failed.

Bestla, a woman who was now plump with age and much denied binging fests, watched with all the concentration her big blue eyes could muster. Her red hair, softly dusted with flecks of grey, was tied back and perfectly kept because she didn’t run her hands through it in frustration…unlike _someone_.

Gaia, was all the more frustrated, her neatly braided hair looked like it had fought and lost the fight with Odin’s favorite ravens. It was sticking up everywhere and it became even more agitated when Gaia ran her fingers through it again, hissing in frustration.

Bestla, ever the helpful one, looked at her “You know, hissing won’t solve this. It makes you look more like a cat than you usually do”

Gaia looked at her “Nothing will help this, it is an evil I will never be able to control. It’s been eleven hours”

“It’s been eleven years, Gaia” Bestla replied “how can you be this bad, still?”

“I don’t know, I just am” Gaia growled

Bestla snorted and shook her head “You look ridiculous, put that away and let me fix your hair, Pooter”

“Pooter?” Gaia blinked “Who is that?”

“The royal stray, he hangs around the kitchens and is the lovely shade of your hair. We call him pooter because he releases gas very often” Bestla said, reaching over to take the offending item away from Gaia

It was a piece of knitting Gaia had been trying to work on. It started off well then frustration and rage instilled itself into the wool and now it looked like the worst part of an old, dying carpet.

“Turn around” Bestla said, gesturing with her hand “I will fix that mop on your head”

Gaia huffed but did as she was asked, arms crossed as she sat with her back to her Queen in law, feeling her undo her braid.

“It shouldn’t be this hard” she said “It’s just knitting”

“It’s more than knitting, dearling” Bestla said, her own name for Gaia was sweet and Gaia felt soothed by it “it’s control and power. You, despite all your sweetness and perfections do not have the traditional strength Asgardians have”

“Traditional strength?” Gaia asked

“Meaning you will be the winner in every political debate, council meeting and delegation” Bestla said “But be crushed to beige face powder in a battle field”

Gaia giggled at that, shaking her head till Bestla gave it a yank.

“Don’t move, dearling” she said “It will ruin my handiwork”

“Yes, Madam” Gaia said obediently

She sat there for the few minutes needed to finish her braid, then reached for the knitting again.

“No!”

Gaia yelped when Bestla smacked the back of her hand with her fan “What?”

“I just fixed your hair” Bestla said “If you really want to ruin it again, wait for Odin to get back”

“Mother!” Gaia gasped, blushing

“What?” Bestla scoffed “You don’t do it? Those boys didn’t come from storks, dearling, you know it”

“By the norns, someone kill me” Gaia muttered.

The parlour was warm, snug and sweet and there were two maids in the corner, both of them standing on them, waiting. Bestla cared for their homes and families and in return they served her well.

Bestla raised a hand to them now and called them forth, smiling at her daughter in law. They came forth, both of them and bowed to the women.

“Port for the Queen and … my tonic, if you will, thank you, ladies” Bestla smiled

They once more bowed, then departed to do as they were bid.

“Tonic?” Gaia asked, frowning “Have you taken ill?”

Bestla scoffed “Never, I will outlive everyone, I know it. I call my mixture of gin and brandy tonic so that Odin doesn’t know. That man is a frightfully irritating pragmatic when it comes to drinking. He claims it clouds the mind”

Gaia chuckled “He drinks when he can, let me tell you”

“Oh, I know” Bestla said “He can pretend all he likes in front of me, I know him for what he is”

The maids returned then and handed the ladies their drinks.

The two bowed and returned to their posts while Gaia and Bestla enjoyed their drinks.

“His father, Norns bless his soul” Bestla said “Was a heavy drinker. He was the one who put me on it, you know?  Apparently, I was very … open minded … when I got drunk and he found ways to persuade me to do things I wouldn’t normally do”

Gaia took a delicate sip of her drink “How so?”

“Let me put it this way” Bestla said “There were more than a few incidents when I woke to two women in my bed with us”

Gaia promptly choked and gasped, coughing as her drink went down the wrong way.

“There, there, dearling” Bestla helpfully pat her back “You will live”

And Gaia did, managing to calm herself enough to pat her blushing face and wondering how the hell she got told one of the greatest secrets Bestla could have.

Or perhaps this was something she shared with everyone.

Then oh, what her secrets must be like!

She was still pondering an answer when the door to the parlour was knocked upon and opened not a moment later by Thor – who was dripping wet!

“Mother!” Thor beamed, running in to Gaia “Balder fell in the stream!”

Gaia held him in her arms and gasped “What!?”

“Calm thyself, darling” Odin walked in, looking at them “I fished him out, the little demon”

Balder was held under Odin’s arm as though he was a helmet and as wet as Thor, screeching and smiling as he chewed on his fist.

“Ma!”

Gaia stood instantly “Oh, my poor darling!”

“Father jumped into the water to get him!” Thor told her, looking up at her as she pulled Balder to her chest “Then I jumped in, too”

“Yes, because he decided to be a menace” Odin said, kissing Gaia on the head “How are you dear?”

“Scared” Gaia said, looking at them “Can’t you three have a normal outing for once?”

“Dearling, you gave up on normality when you agreed to marry him” Bestla added, holding out her non tonic wielding arm for Thor to come to “We are all mad here”

She kissed Thor atop his head and gave him a squeeze.

“Do you want a sip?” Bestla asked “It’s good tonic”

“Mother!” Odin gasped “He’s ten!”

“So what?” Bestla asked “You were seven when you had your first sip, nothing happened”

Odin blinked “You said I was fourteen!”

“Seven, fourteen, it’s the same thing, go dry yourself, you are ruining my carpets”

Thor chuckled, kissed his grandmother on the cheek and followed his parents, watching Gaia fuss over her three men.

Bestla watched them leave, knowing that there was going to be more stress and tension for that poor woman than all Asgard could have.

And norns, was she right.

***

Twenty years passed much like that.

With accidents and adventures and hunts that left Gaia slowly growing white in her blonde hair. She had stayed up long nights, fighting of fevers and flus or soothing her three dears after broken bones or sprains.

She helped them through everything they went through without fail, all of them relying on her more than they would express.

She mended and healed and soothed and sang, giving them the best life possible and they cherished her.

Today, on her nameday, she stood tending to her balcony, snipping off the access leaves off her potted plants and humming to herself. She swayed silently, contentment upon her features and elegance in her hands.

She never noticed the figure that snuck in behind her.

Taller than her by more than a foot and dwarfing her entirely, the man snuck behind her, his feet making no noise. His blue eyes focused on her and his arms lifted slowly in an attempt to scare her.

His blonde hair blowing in the wind, Thor stopped behind her, took a deep breath and prepared to bellow.

“Don’t even think about it”

The air went out of him as quickly as it had come

“How did you know?” Thor whined, coming to stand beside her

“I am your mother, Thor” Gaia said, not halting her snipping “I can sense you”

“You cannot” Thor said, leaning against the bannister behind her “You can’t do that”

“Of course I can, I am stronger than you would ever know” Gaia said, frowning at a bud “Hmm, this one needs something”

Placing the scissors aside, she nudged Thor.

“Come with me” she said “We go to the green houses”

Thor whined “Why? Must I?”

“Yes, I own you” Gaia said “And I want to make a garland for the Kae sisters. You know they are all coming to the ball”

“The Kae sisters?” Thor gaped “Mother, why do you keep inviting them? They are frightening and the third one wants me”

“Kym?” Gaia asked, looking at him “She’s married, Thor, she does not want you. And why are they frightening?”

“Because” Thor hissed, opening the door to his parents’ room as they headed out and following his mother “when I danced with them last time, their bosoms were …”

“Thor!” Gaia gaped “How crude of you!”

“They are fake!” Thor defended himself “all four of them have false bosoms and bottoms, everyone knows this”

“Norns please spare my ears this horrendous torture” Gaia prayed

“How do you not know this?” Thor looked at her

“Know what?”

Both of them looked up and saw Odin walk over, his royal cape behind him. He retained his physique and muscles, his hair, though grey, was still thick and age and battles had taken from him his right eye. His spirit and his hold over the kingdom was just the same.

So was his smile, as he saw his son and wife, his footsteps increasing as he went to meet them.

“My darling” he whispered, kissing Gaia on the lips “How are you?”

“Tormented” Gaia said, falling dramatically against Odin “Your son is killing me”

Thor snorted “I merely talked to her about facts and she cannot take it”

“What facts?” Odin asked

He reached over and placed a hand atop Thor’s head in blessing.

“About the Kae Sisters” Thor told him, giving Odin’s forearm a squeeze in Aesir greeting

Odin frowned “Which ones are those?”

“Kourtnay, Kym, Kyndall and the lot” Thor said “The ones with the…”

He cupped his hands out before his chest and Odin nodded in realization.

“Ah” he said “Yes, I remember. They aren’t real, Thor, you shouldn’t look so happy”

Thor beamed and looked at Gaia, who looked just about hopeless.

“Where did I go wrong with you?” she set her head on Odin’s shoulder.

Odin hummed and put his arms around her, in love even in this age “When you said ‘I do’”

“Aye” Gaia said “And agreed to this madhouse life”

“Such is your burden” Odin beamed and bent his head to kiss her hair “Where were you headed?”

“The green houses to make garlands for the Sisters of Plastic and air” Thor piped up

“Leave, out, Thor” Gaia pointed to the end of the hall “I will get the flowers myself”

Thor didn’t waste a second, he bowed to his parents and jogged out, going to the sparring ring to see if Sif was up for a battle.

Possibly, if he complimented her. Guaranteed if he boasted about his own skill in her vicinity.

Either way, Thor was going to spar and live the life of a prince today.

For who knew what tomorrow would bring for them.

***

The norns did.

And they watched with their callous hearts and merciless eyes as a being born of darkness attacked the realm of light and took from them the one thing that made the Kingdom worthy of light itself.

 

 


	2. Losses and Prizes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The collectors of the realm often take things they should not have taken.

The morning light settled over the sleeping Kingdom like a blanket and the King, still resting, shifted closer to the spot that had been vacant for five years now. In fact today was the exact day that five years had passed. Gaia’s opened hair cascaded behind her once and Odin used to curl under the covers, hogging them as he usually did, though the endeavour was unsuccessful. Now it was successful and he would give anything to go back to the time he wasn’t alone in his bed and longing for the warmth that came with his wife.

Gaia, for all her femininity and gentleness had exhibited strength Odin hadn’t known existed as she lay in his arms that day. They both knew help was not going to arrive on time, they both knew there was no way she could be saved but they hadn’t said it. The stab wound from that demon, Malekith, was cruel and Odin felt his beloved get colder and colder as they lay on the floor of their rooms, the very rooms Malekith had headed to with his monster and decided then to end the life of the most beautiful woman Odin had ever seen.

His wife.

He had lay beside her, propped up on his injured arm as he heard the battle his sons fought down below, taking down the enemies as they headed the soldiers and guards.

He heard Thor’s hammer, he heard his thunder.

But he didn’t even turn his head. He stroked Gaia’s cheek, looking at her, listening to her words of love and pride, feeling her small hands hold his own large one.

“Promise to live after me” she had said “Promise to live for our sons, my love”

Odin had promised and he watched as her big, beautiful eyes slowly closed and her head tipped back over his arm. His face had crumpled then and he lowered his head to her shoulder, crying softly against her.

He hadn’t stopped, since, his heart still bled and broke whenever he could not see her speak to her or touch her.

She was truly gone, the only memory of her left in his son’s features and her wardrobe, which he hadn’t the heart to clear out.

He lay in bed now, alone and torn apart, watching the thin drapes move before the balcony.

Sometimes, he could still picture her there and closed his eyes, wanting to feel her. He couldn’t cope well but for his sons he had to. He had promised Gaia that he would live for them and by the norns even if he died every day on the inside he lived for them, he talked and ate and ruled for them.

And he was both hurt and proud of the fact that he was coping better than at least one of his boys.

At that moment, someone knocked and poked his head into the room

“My lord?” he called, his voice soft and gentle as the rest of him “Are you decent?”

Despite his pain, Odin felt his lips twitch. One time, it had happened, one time where he was indecent and out from his bath when his valet Eyvindr walked in.

The screams of that poor boy had Odin laughing then and laughing now as Eyvindr approached the dreaded subject on eggshells. He hadn’t even opened the door fully and it made Odin chuckle.

“Aye, worry not your bleeding eyes will live another day” he said, moving to sit up.

Eyvinder huffed and opened the door further, walking in. he looked at Odin and smiled, his brown hair curled and ruffled from sleep.

“Argh” he teased “You look worse than before, I must say, my lord”

“Good morn, son” Odin said “Thank you for the greeting”

Eyvinder smiled and went to the small cabinet in Odin’s room where his medicines and herbs were. There were a lot and he picked out the ones Odin had to take in the morning. Over the years, his king had developed a series of ailments and after his mother’s passing, Eyvinder took it upon himself to ensure his majesty took them all.

“Alright, then” Eyvinder slowly took out the three he needed before breakfast “Up you get, King, your absolution awaits”

He turned and walked to Odin, bringing him his medicine, then the pitcher and glass of water to have with them. He waited patiently as Odin took them, then took everything away to set back.

Odin watched him with fondness in his eyes and stood, stretching his back. Eyvindr went to part the drapes and let in the late m

“Are my sons awake?”

The valet headed to the bathroom to prep for Odin’s shaving “Lord Balder is, my King, he is having his breakfast with Queen Mother.”

“And Thor?” Odin asked, walking to the bathroom.

Eyvindr was picking up Odin’s chair and the table that they used for the morning shave. There was a towel draped on his shoulder and he smiled at Odin.

“I do not know, my lord, I can ask” he said, “Let me just get your things ready.”

Odin bowed his head and stepped back out, watching as Eyvindr filled a basin with steaming water and dunked his towel in. He prepped his oils and shaving tools, taking everything to the balcony where Odin liked it.

The King liked these little luxuries and he eventually sat down, tipping his head back for Eyvindr could get to work. He sighed as the steamed towel rested upon his face and his routine began.

“Now stay here while I go ask after Master Odinson” Eyvindr said

“As if I will run away with a steaming towel on my face” Odin muttered

It made his valet snort and he left to inquire about the King to be.

While he was gone, Odin closed his eye and breathed deep, the scent of steam and whatever oil Eyvindr put in soothing him.

It was lavender, he reasoned or something akin to it, it made him want to sleep. The chair was comfortable, he was relaxed, so Odin did doze off for a few moments.

He was brought back when a foot scuffed the balcony floor and opened his eye to see the back of Eyvindr’s head.

“Well?”

Eyvindr looked at him and smiled “I saw you dozing and didn’t wish to disturb. The Prince is gone. He left last night, in fact, going to Vanahiem”

Odin frowned “Vanahiem?”

“Aye, he didn’t even tell Prince Balder, the young master was very surprised” Eyvindr said, coming over to take the towel “And speaking of surprise, have you heard that the Lady Hearst has redecorated her entire drawing room in the Alf style, a little unfaithful to the realm, don’t you think?”

“I often wonder why I hired you” Odin muttered “then I remember it is because you gossip more than a Vanir harem”

“Majesty!” Eyvindr gasped, mixing Odin’s shaving cream “I never gossip…”

He turned and started to apply it “I merely relay information”

“Aye, juicy, gossip information” Odin said

“Hush, King, you will swallow this if you keep talking” Eyvindr said as he worked

Odin hummed and Eyvindr started to speak again.

“The Lord Thurston is seeing a lady two decades his younger” he told Odin “it is only a matter of time before a disaster occurs. One wonders who that giant chandelier will go to, doesn’t one? He seems very fond of it and bring it up to anyone who listens to his boring story of how he acquired it.”

“Hmm?” Odin hummed

“Aye” Eyvindr said “I have a feeling his lady wife will have it broken into pieces and turned into jewels for their daughter. It would be a wonderful revenge”

Once more, Odin hummed.

“The lady will probably find someone more worth her time once she gets what she wants out of the old lord” Eyvindr said “they say he cannot get it up and has a special tea”

This earned him a smack on the ribs from Odin

“What? It’s true” Eyvindr said “Everyone talks about it”

Odin rolled his eyes, long since having given up on who these mysterious ‘them’ or ‘they’ were. Probably Eyvindr’s own imaginings, for sure.

The man had nothing to do but wait on him.

He was bound to go crazy.

After his shave was over, Odin had his bath, had his hair trimmed, his nails clipped and all the grooming he loved to have done.

After that, Eyvindr was given a gold coin and sent off to wherever the hell he got his gossip from.

The King himself, dressed in his casual best, whistled as he went to greet Balder and his Mother.

He knocked on the door of her parlour and beamed at his son and mother. They were both having their morning game of cards and Odin chuckled.

“Hard at work, losing to her, I see”

“I do not know how she does it” Balder hissed, looking at Odin “It is magic, I swear it is!”

Bestla, unperturbed by her grandson’s outburst, looked at her son “Ah, it looks groomed”

Odin snorted and came over, kissing her head “It is. And…”

He reached forth and picked up the cards she had hidden under the purse in her lap

“And it sees everything”

Balder gasped and Bestla glared at Odin, snatching the cards back

“You one eyed weasel!” she hissed “I was winning!”

“You were cheating” Odin said somberly

“Grand Mother!” Balder gaped

“What?” Bestla said “You are impossible to win against, I have my pride, after all”

“And a pair of identical cards” Odin muttered

“Are you still here?” Bestla growled

“Are you still alive?” Odin countered

“Yes and I will outlive you, Bat!”

Balder shook his head and exhaled, slowly picking up the cards again. They kept bantering, as was their habit and way of showing love.

Because not ten minutes later, Odin was helping Bestla out of her seat, taking her ‘tonic’ and cloak so he could bring it to her. He was attentive, caring even for her feet as he fetched her slippers.

She, in turn kissed his forehead and whispered her prayers to him.

They headed out, the three of them, to have breakfast in her private hall.

It was tradition and up until last year, one that wasn’t broken. All four of them used to eat together, now, Thor rarely made an appearance.

He barely stayed home long enough to.

Eyvindr was there, not their head maid and after interrogation, Odin was told she was sick.

His valet served his family that morning with breakfast and the gossip of all nine realms put together.

It was, in Odin’s mind, the best they could get in their current situation.

***

“You’re leaving?” Lady Freya’s voice sounded within the room “It’s hasn’t been but a day”

The dim light of the room glittered over his bronzed, battle worn skin, pouring over every crevice and indent in his well sculpted, stunning form. Over his skin, in places where it hit bright, Freya could make out the lines and spikes that inked him.

Beautiful Celtic patterns that rose from the band of his trousers and climbed higher, over his back, his arm and shoulder, inscriptions and words marked him as a fighter.

Each of his conquests, his battles and victories were tattooed on his skin, in words too small to read from a far but complete stories of pain and triumph. Anyone who read them could touch and follow every story.

But few were allowed.

Even Freya, a woman he had been seeing for two years now, had not been given much chance to read the stories. They came over his chest and she rested her head upon them, but never read them.

He came to her for one thing and one thing alone.

And she, a married woman and eight years his senior, gave it to him with no hesitation.

She was a woman whose husband travelled more than he stayed and her needs were unfulfilled. Thor was someone who helped her and she, in return, helped him.

They barely knew more about each other than they did when they met but it suited him.

Freya, unfortunately, caught herself wanting more with each stay. She found herself serving him breakfast, caring for him and telling him to leave his clothes in her chambers.

Sometimes he listened, sometimes he didn’t.

Because Thor Odinson was a bitterly realistic man. He fought more than he talked, he lied when he had to and got only what he cared to get. He won wars almost by himself, he brought peace to the realms and ensured it.

His name was used to force back villains of all kinds.

All but the one he wanted most.

The demon responsible for taking from him the one woman whose love he prized beyond that of any other. Malekith had escaped that night and Thor hadn’t stopped searching since.

He wanted to feel Malekith’s throat in his hands as he squeezed tighter and tighter until he stopped breathing. He wanted to feel his life leave his body and he wanted to be the one to destroy him.

He waited for the day he stopped his tattoos, because that day would be the day he took what he wanted most.

Vengeance.

It drove him like a curse.

And those who saw him descend into darkness were afraid to approach.

Those he loved had nothing to fear.

Because as bitter as life had made him, three people made his bitterness turn around and he hadn’t seen them for quite some time now.

Which was why he hurried to head back, having gotten what he wanted.

He turned at her voice, his blonde hair cascading over his shoulders and gave her a terse smile.

“It has been more than enough, madam” he bowed his head “Your husband will return shortly. I do not wish for him to know who you harboured when he was gone”

In other words, he was telling her to keep their relationship what it was.

She needed to know her place.

And by the way her lips tightened as he pulled on his tunic, she knew exactly where she stood with him. She lay in bed, still bare beneath the sheets, watching him put on what he had with him.

Once he was done, he came to take her hand and kiss her knuckles.

“Good bye, my lady” Thor said, smiling “Till we meet again”

Freya bowed her head, he bid hr farewell, picked up his hammer and departed for her small balcony.

A few moments later he was gone, fleeing to the skies from where he came.

Freya exhaled and lay back, looking at the ceiling as she heard a distant boom, signalling that Thor had called forth his gatekeeper and left to go to his home.

On Asgard, Thor greeted Hiemdall well and once more spinning his hammer to fly through the air.

Asgard passed beneath him with the speed with which he travelled and before he knew it, he was at the throne room doors, where his father held his morning court.

He knew Odin would have called those Council bats already and exhaled, getting rid of the irritation that always seemed to latch on to him, then walked in without knocking.

As expected, the Council men and women turned, awaiting their seats and before them sat Odin, his seat high and mighty. He had apparently just sat down and smiled when he saw Thor.

“Ah, there he is” Odin called “The mighty Thor, back from another crusade away from his annoying family”

It was as though his irritation faded and Thor walked confidently to Odin, falling to his knee in respect and setting his hammer beside him. He placed a hand upon his breast, stood and left his weapon to go to his King.

“Majesty” Thor beamed “You look old”

“Younger than before” Odin extended a hand, bringing Thor to him to kiss his head “You weren’t here, remember? Be gone longer and I might be a young man again”

Thor chuckled and took a seat at Odin’s feet, setting his head on his knees.

“Then I will, perhaps” Thor said, feeling Odin comb his hair back “Come back and call you brother”

“I would never be a brother to a beast” Odin rumbled “Don’t you ever brush your hair?”

“Nay, Father, it offends you, why should I?” Thor looked at him

He hissed when Odin flicked him between the eyes.

“Brute” Odin muttered “Sit where you belong”

“I am” Thor told him “at the most honoured place any young man in Asgard could get – at his father’s feet”

And Odin, despite the teasing and the clench in his heart from missing Thor, felt warmth flood within him.

“You will make an excellent delegate” Odin told him

Thor hummed and looked at the men and women gathered in front of him, watching them. He waited for a few seconds and knew the exact moment Odin gave the nod.

It seemed the earth shook in all Asgard, but Thor knew that the vibrations that took place beneath the floor were usual.

Chairs rose from within the marble, gold and engraved with the names of each council member. They were high backed positioned so everyone could see Odin and comfortable to sit in for hours. The rumbling and dull roars that accompanied them did still startle one or two members but by the time the chairs rose to their full height and the floor stopped shivering, they were fine.

Thor had his own chair, facing the council and much below Odin, but he preferred to sit at Odin’s feet as he was. Instead, it had upon it Mjolnir. Thor had placed it exactly where his chair rose and thought that it never hurt to boast little.

Odin would disagree, but that was something they would work on later in their lives.

Right now, they had to discuss the politics that Thor disliked so much.

Just so, damn much.

And the first part of being successful at politics was smiling and waving.

‘Just smile and wave, boys’ Bestla had told them ‘smile and wave’

He smiled now, listening to one thing after another take place and listened to everything like it was the sweetest tale he had ever heard.

In truth, he was thinking about Freya and how long it could be before her husband left.

Despite his cold departure, he longed for her, wanting her form as well as her company. She listened to him and it helped him fill, even temporarily, the pain inside his heart.

His mind wandered to her more than once during the meeting and afterwards, when they stopped and he was freed, he stood, helping Odin to his feet.

“Where to, Father ‘o’ mine?” he asked

“Dining hall” Odin said “I have a few delegates coming over and I wish to greet them there. You will stay with me, aye?”

“Of course” Thor bowed his head “Who is visiting?”

Odin groaned “That venomous toad, Ymir. He brings forth his daughter, the one who apparently makes the look duller. He wants an alliance”

Thor made a face “Why must we ally with him? He has nothing we need”

“We do not need anything” Odin said “But an alliance with Jotunhiem would be great. I am not asking you to wed her, Thor, perhaps we can give her an alternative”

“Not Balder, he deserves to find his own love”

“Not Balder” Odin said “I was thinking…”

“Dear Norns, not you!?” Thor gasped

“Valhalla forbid!” Odin looked scandalized “Have you no filter?!”

“None” Thor beamed “You took it out”

Odin growled at him “You are more like your grandmother than you know”

“The highest compliment paid, I would say. That woman is a goddess” Thor said

“A goddess you didn’t mean for breakfast this morning” Odin chastised “She was asking about you, you know. Don’t think your disappearances are not noted, Thor, they tend to become hurtful after a while”

Thor bit his lip and exhaled, looking at the ground. He did feel guilty, but again, not too much. There was guilt about leaving without telling anyone, that was it.

It was his life, he was going to do what he wanted, simple.

He was going to be King, after all.

So he set Odin on his path and promised to return after meeting Bestla.

He did.

And came back with a dart in his thigh, which she claimed was an accident, but Thor disbelieved. He had to have it bandaged and limped to the delegation lunch, grumbling to Odin, who chuckled and gave him his sympathies as they sat to wait.

***

Ymir was a man who was honoured because of his position in Jotunhiem, but reviled for his personality. He was a mean spirited, narrow minded bastard and Thor had decided that the worst part of the day wasn’t the dart in his leg, it was sitting and having a meal with this bundle of misery and parochial ass.

Gods, how he just wanted to ram his fork into his hand as he gestured with it, going on to Odin about one thing or the other. His daughter was there with him.

She was beautiful, no doubt, unbelievably so but all Thor saw was the same attitude as her father. She had beautiful blonde hair and big grey eyes that were levelled on Thor the entire time.

As per Jotunhiem’s appearance, she was pale and slender and ate with more delicacy than most women in Asgard.

Even Sif, Thor thought.

But then again this woman would lose to Sif in so many ways that one victory wouldn’t matter.

The daughter, Lorelai was the second. The noble’s first was another, a woman who had the sense to run off early from her father and sister. From what Thor heard this one, Lorelai  was dark within her beauty and it made men and women, and on occasion children, run far away from her.

Ymir longed to wed her and wed her fast. It was no secret why she was here, at this moment, with Thor and Odin.

They sought an alliance, as Odin said.

And Thor was glad to watch Odin in action, nodding and smiling to Ymir but cursing him on the inside.

He didn’t want this alliance and from the slight desperation in Ymir’s voice, the man had sensed it.

He elongated the lunch to the point where both Thor and Odin looked ready to cut him off and run. And perhaps Odin was about to do just that when Ymir exhaled.

“Would it be to presumptuous for us to ask for a night to rest?” he asked, quick as a fox “the ride back home is long and I do not wish to tire Lorelai out”

It might have been awkward, the quick way  with which Odin agreed but it spoke about his desperation and badly he wanted this man gone.

Thor didn’t say a word and afterwards, escorted his father back, the two of them intending on playing a game of chess before supper.

“You know I will win” Thor told him “I have a far superior wit and the patience of a newly wed Vanir King”

Odin looked at him, his face mildly impressed and mildly disgusted.

Everyone knew the stereotype.

Vanir Kings were known to sign long and endless documents before they bedded their wives. Divorce was common there and it was often complicated when a Queen decided to no longer sleep with her husband or leave him and half of everything he owned.

The contracts ensured the king’s wealth and made it so that the queen’s purity didn’t leave her without a little something.

And thus the contracts upon contracts drawn demanded extreme patience.

“Your jokes need improving, Thor” Odin said

Thor chuckled “My life needs improving”

“Aye, it does” Odin said “Good thing Mother tried it”

“She did” Thor said “Possibly failed”

“We shall see” Odin told him “Now come, I wish to beat you at chess”

“You shall not” Thor said bluntly

“Want a bet?” Odin asked “Perhaps if you lose, I shall forbid you leaving the palace for a week”

Thor barked in laughter and pat Odin on the back “Then I will say that should I win, you will accompany me to a week doing exactly what I ask, when I ask, understand?”

Odin narrowed his eye and looked at him, stopping. Thor stopped too and both of them challenged each other for a few good seconds.

“Deal” Odin extended a hand

Thor beamed “Deal”

***

“I truly despise you, you know that?”

Leaning on the door, his legs crossed at the ankles, Thor beamed at his father as Odin packed his clothes and necessities.

“How the hell did you win?”

“It helped when you over turned the board, dear” Bestla said as she sat in Odin’s chair, watching her son “You doomed yourself”

“I didn’t over turn it!” Odin looked chagrined “I set my ankle on my knee…”

“And over turned it” Thor smirked “How absolutely perfect for me”

Odin growled and stuffed a shirt into his bag. Bestla rolled her eyes and looked at Thor

“Where are you taking him?”

“I cannot say it here” Thor said

Bestla frowned “Why not?”

“He cannot say it in front of me” Odin told her, going to get a few pair of shoes “once I get there, I will have no excuse to back out, so he must keep it a secret”

“Ah” Bestla sat back, then looked at a snickering servant “You, Snickers, get me my tonic”

Thor snorted at the name and the way the servant ducked out. Eyvindr stood there, too, watching father and son – and mother – together.

Balder, unfortunately, was at his lessons and would be spared the torment of Odin’s leaving.

He was notified of Odin’s leaving and the valet could sense his impatience to say goodbye and dig into what tortures Thor had in mind for their father.

He watched as Odin packed everything he needed and mentally counted it all. Satisfied, he stayed silent and watched the family interact.

“You know where you should take him?” Bestla piped up, making Thor’s lips twitch “There is a tavern in Alfhiem where they blindfold men and women and push them inti a dark room to do all sorts of naughty things”

“Mother!” Odin gasped

“What?” she said “It’s not like you would know who the other person is, it’s just an adventure”

“I fear how you know this” Odin said, pulling his bag shut

“I have my ways” Bestla dismissed “Oh, Thor, there is a rink in Muspelhiem where you fight against men to win prizes”

“Prizes like what?” Thor asked, intrigued

“Sometimes younger men” Bestla went on

“Alright, that is enough” Odin snatched his bag and stormed to Thor, grabbing his collar to yank him out. “Goodbye, Mother, I hope you have a safe stay ruling in my stead”

Bestla and Thor chuckled as Thor was dragged out by his tunic. His cape flowed behind him and he followed his father out.

“Take care, you two” Bestla called from the door “And please try not to kill each other”

“Aye, we will” Odin said, looking back at her

Thor smiled when his father stopped and turned to head back, embracing his mother and kissing her head, unable to go without it, it seemed.

Bestla cupped his cheeks and bent his head to place a kiss upon his brow.

“Go” she said “relax for once”

Odin smiled “I will try, Mother, promise”

He looked behind her and chuckled “Your tonic is here”

Bestla waved it off “I will see to it later”

She blessed Odin’s journey, then Thor’s, and watched them both depart, her heart heavy within her breast.

She had a feeling something was about to happen.

And she didn’t know if it was going to be a good or bad thing for her kingdom.

She watched till the light of the bi frost illuminated and took her son and grandson from her. After it did, she turned to go back into the palace chambers, wanting to sit in on Balder’s teachings.

With the acting Queen there, the tutor wouldn’t make a mistake.

Odin, however, feared he had, because when they landed, he knew they were in Nidavellir. One look at the landscape of mountains and mist had left him in no doubt about where he was.

This was the land of the dwarves

“Truly?” he looked to Thor “This is where you brought me?”

Thor smiled “Of course, now come on, we have much planned”

“You mean, you have” Odin grumbled, letting Thor hook their arms together “Where are you taking me?”

“I have made us a booking in the royal guest house” Thor said “considering we are here on a visit, I didn’t wish to impose on his majesty”

“You could hardly not impose” Odin said “He’s as high as your knee”

“Ah, there it is, the ever present prejudice” Thor cooed

“Not prejudice, humor”

“Humor born from prejudice” Thor insisted “You are a mean old man on the inside, are you aware?”

“Aye, and a suspicious bigot, too” Odin hoisted his bag higher “Now tell me what you have planned, you brat, I am going to get my vengeance so be smart about it”

Thor smiled and Odin knew that it boded ill for him already.

***

Thor groaned as he looked at the scene before him, hardly able to believe it.

Out of everything he had thought of, Odin actually enjoying himself, getting drunk and losing all inhibition was not one of them.

Yet there it was, right before him.

Odin, who had previously been in a match with three dwarves, was winning the game of cards unabashedly. He wasn’t cheating, he was clever and as someone who was higher than the dwarves in both intelligence and height, he was getting cocky.

His drink by his side and Thor as his guard, Odin was more confident, open and free about his game. Tonight, he was no king, tonight he was a man on a mission; a mission to teach these little minions that cockiness usually ended in defeat.

It was ironic, really, because Thor had rarely seen his father this cocky.

And he hoped he wouldn’t lose because Odin was betting more than he could give at this particular moment.

He had bet Mjolnir in this game and Thor, who had told him not to do so, could only watch as his beloved hammer was being gambled by a drunk ruler.

It had happened before Thor could understand it did. Odin had won three times and had instantly wanted to boast, asking Thor for Mjolnir.

At first Thor had said no, but then Odin reasoned that there was no way he could lose and that if he did, there would be, in fact, no way for the dwarves to take the hammer since Thor was the only one who could move it. Eventually they would give up and leave.

Those pleading looks had Thor melting not ten minutes later and he came to set his hammer on the table, much to Odin’s delight.

The dwarves looked angry and Thor felt all three of them were losing. They kept flicking their cards and muttering to themselves, hesitating in taking their turn. They put aside more than a few and Odin beamed, happy with his own.

From observing them, Thor was sure he had noted three nervous ticks in all three of them. They drew circles on the table and scratched their heads. One of the two tapped the edge of his chair in resignation as they waited.

For his part, Odin was relaxed, easily humming to himself and taking sips of his mead as he sat back, smiling and throwing a grin at his son, who rolled his eyes. He chatted with the dealer, who had a look of stoic politeness on his face, waiting for the dwarves to make a move.

Despite the impending doom they would no doubt face in this realm, Thor felt is lips twitch and he smiled back.

Odin was having a wonderful time and Thor wouldn’t stop it for the world.

Even if his mind told him to, he gave Odin his time, wanting him to let loose as he was, without thinking of the repercussions.

In hindsight, he should have.

Odin ended up cheering when two dwarves folded, setting their cards down and groaning loudly.

Those who were watching the intense game, whistled and clapped along, giving each other their own winnings on the bets made on this game. Thor, once more, shaking his head, approached the table, but his steps faltered when he saw the third dwarf still as stone.

He hadn’t put his cards down and looked at Odin’s, the ones Odin had thrown on the table in victory.

Odin seemed to sense Thor’s apprehension and turned to look at the dwarf as well, his inebriated mind slowly catching up.

As everyone who was interested, watched the dwarf set his cards down and Thor felt his stomach drop when he saw his cards.

Odin has a full house, which was why he cheered so loudly, which was why he was cocky.

But the dwarf, the three foot demon, had a straight flush.

And before Thor’s eyes, Odin paled, his eye going wide as he saw it. The other two dwarves grinned at Odin, pointing their winnings, their heap of gold, which was pulled to their greedy hands and pockets. They pulled Odin’s gold next and both father and son gaped in horror as they saw them reach for the hammer.

“No, no, wait, wait” Odin held out a hand “Leave the hammer, you have no use for it, you cannot lift the hammer”

“We care not” the winning dwarf said, grabbing the shaft and pulling himself forth “It is ours now”

Thor, who had gone into a mild shock, felt his hand clench.

There was no way those dwarves were going to be able to lift it. It was his hammer, one that only he could control.

That was the only thing that was keeping him calm. Odin, on the other hand, looked desperate.

“What are you going to do with it?” Odin asked “Think, man, all it will do is stay here. Take the gold, I will give you more, I will give a King’s boon if you let the hammer go”

He looked desperate, which was saying something and had the dwarves been a lesser greedy bunch, they would have listened and bargained.

But as it was, they didn’t, opting to hang on to the hammer and mock the All Father.

“The most powerful man in the realms bows to us” the first dwarf, ugly as a toad, drawled “How wonderful!”

“Pleading like a beggar!”

“Mewling like a babe!”

There was drunken laughter all around and for the first time that night, Thor felt his blood boil in rage. No one insulted his father, no one!

And Odin, eaten by guilt and loss, was deprived of a proper answer. He didn’t wish to make these dwarves any more unreasonable.

He opened his mouth to plea once more when a strong hand landed on his shoulder. Odin turned and saw Thor glaring past him, at the cackling, greedy dwarves.

“Keep the hammer if you wish” Thor said “But insult my father again and I will burn you to dust”

Thunder rumbled outside, responding to his rage and the dwarves slowly stopped laughing, their mockery slipped from their lips and those who had joined them turned quickly away.

“Thor” Odin grabbed his arm “Let me…”

Thor raised a hand and silenced his father.

“Forget it” he said softly, looking at his father, drunk and hurt “Let’s get you home”

Odin, looking completely devastated, nodded, then allowed Thor to steer him away. Many watched them, moving aside to give them space to go.

But Odin couldn’t help glancing back and looking at the hammer, which the dwarves held on to.

How they had lost, Odin didn’t know, but he knew there was something amiss.

***

 They left the realm the next day after a much more subdued stay, landing this time, in Alfhiem.

The land of luxuries and beauty. Everything about this realm was rich, delightful and happy.

Odin, however, was not.

He had been silent, guilt creeping up and catching him by the throat, ever since they left that tavern. He had been silent as they had taken a carriage and rented a room in a tavern and he had remained silent.

Thor, who had been talking loudly and raucously to try and raise his father’s spirits, had done everything he could to assure Odin that he was not angry.

However, Odin seemed to think he was and he walked in eggshells around him, seeking to find a way to make up to his son.

It didn’t matter that Thor was alright with it, he was the one who lost something that Thor valued immensely. He was the cause of Thor’s loss, no one else.

As they settled into their room, Odin looked across to his son, watching him take out his toiletries from his bag so he could wash up.

“I’m sorry” Odin spoke, his voice firm “I am sorry I got into the game with them, knowing they were dwarves. Had I been less under the influence of my drink, I would never have done so. Dwarves are notorious cheaters. They tap the table, they scratch and make signals only they themselves understand, so they cheat. I would never have challenged them”

Thor looked at him then smiled and laughed a little “I wondered what they were doing. I thought it was a nervous tick or a tell. They were cheating”

Odin walked to him, hands out in plea “Thor, I will make them another offer, I will give them anything they want in return for Mjolnir, I swear!”

“You,” Thor turned to him and held his shoulders, giving him a shake “Will do no such thing, understand? You are a King, the King of Asgard, the most powerful man in the realms. You do not offer bargains”

“Thor, they took…”

Odin broke off when Thor extended a finger before him.

“No such thing” Thor insisted “Understand?”

“But…”

“No, buts” Thor looked him in the eye, raising his brows meaningfully “I do not blame you, nor am I angry. What did make my blood boil was the sight of you pleading with those meaningless imps. That I will not allow, nor will I tolerate it. Swear you will not go back to them”

Odin looked at him “I …”

“Swear” Thor ordered “Right now, please”

Regret still deep in his sigh, Odin exhaled “I swear”

Thor smiled and cupped his nape, giving him an affectionate shake “You sweet old man”

Thor kissed his forehead and stepped back

“I will relinquish my weapon” he told him “I will never relinquish you or your pride”

Odin, despite his guilt, smiled at his son “You are an idiot, do you know?”

Thor shrugged “It was bound to happen, I inherited so much from Mother, something of yours was bound to slip in”

Odin inclined his jaw “Still have a lip on you”

“Learned from the best” Thor smiled at him as he picked up his shaving supplies “Now relax, lay down or something while I shave. Then I have something very interesting planned for you”

“What have you planned?” Odin asked as Thor went to the bathing chamber “Thor? What have you planned?”

Thor winked at him over his shoulder and went to the bathing room, closing the door without an answer.

Odin narrowed his eyes at him “It better not have something to do with dwarves, Thor!”

He heard a chuckle but nothing more, then went to collapse on the couch, sighing once more as he crossed his arms behind his head.

The tavern was nice and beautifully made. It was the realm of nobles within a realm of luxury, set beautifully in colours of blue and white, gold and silver.

It was rich, cool, beautiful and made for luxury. There was a whole section of their large tavern that was dedicated for swimming and water sports and this was where Thor, the six foot, two and a half inch bastard brought him.

There were so many modes of transportation on Asgard, battleships, vessels made for protection, Odin was used to them. But here, all of those looked altered to fit the luxury of this planet.

He saw vessels racing each other in the huge ocean their resort was next to and saw men and women and children all playing, flirting and enjoying themselves in the water. He saw magic all around them, sensed it in everything and though he was wary of what Thor wanted, he was also mildly intrigued.

There were enchanted water animals, running around, splashing into random guests, making children squeal and laugh as they burst upon impact, drenching them in cool, sparkling water.

Odin kept close to Thor and well away from the many bars and counters that offered water.

There were a few that were settled in the water, complete with submerged stools so guests could drink without having to get out of the pool. It was a convenience that bred laziness as far as Odin was concerned and he walked onwards, keeping an eye out for what Thor could possibly have in mind.    

As he looked about, he heard a vague shout and he recognized it far too late as Thor’s. he looked up and his eye widened as one of those blasted water animals ran right at him. It was a bull, intricately made and transparent, hitting Odin and blowing up on him with a huge splash that made his ears buzz.

He looked up, stunned and drenched, his hair plastered to his head and looking completely ungraceful. In front of him, doubled over in laughter and red in the face, Thor was out right lost in a fit of guffaws. A few other people chuckled and Odin narrowed his eyes before he waved a hand.

Thor yelped loudly as he flew with the force of Odin’s magic and sailed right into the closest pool, sending a huge splash into the air. Giving a snort of laughter, Odin simply sauntered to the nearest bar and requested for two towels and a drink.

By the time it arrived, Thor had, too, possibly delayed because of the attention of the women who still gawked at him.

It was no secret that both Odin and Thor were sought after by women seeking to gain power and fame. Even in his age, Odin got proposals and was given hints are wedding even women who were young enough to be his daughters.

He declined, of course, his heart could never be theirs and he doubted he would ever be happy.

“So” Odin beamed, passing Thor a towel “Had a fun dip?”

“Aye” Thor shook his hair out, grinning at his father, then pointed to a woman in the pool “She asked me to her room after dinner”

“Urgh” Odin made a face “Why must you tell me these things?”

Thor picked up Odin’s drink when it arrived and sipped it “She wants you to join us”

“Valhalla forbid!” Odin gasped, a had to his chest “have you no shame?!”

“Be flattered, Father ‘o mine” Thor snickered “She is my age”

“And every bit the spoiled brat you are” Odin hissed “Pray to the norns, Mother is rubbing off on you”

“Mother?” Thor frowned

“Not yours, mine!” Odin growled “I will limit your time with her”

“What about Balder?” Thor teased “Will you deny grandmother both her lovely darlings?”

“Yes, if it was needed, but it isn’t” Odin took his drink back “Balder is scared of her”

Thor snorted “I know, he does everything she wants”

He snapped his fingers and the bartender rushed over, ignoring the important but less than important others sitting by in favour of the future King.

“Asgardian rum” Thor said “Spiced and mulled with Alf whiskey”

“Yes, my lord” the bartender, an excited man, bowed and fled to obey.

Odin sat back on his stool and looked at Thor.

“So, will you tell me what you have planned here?” he asked “Or will I know at the last moment?”

“I’m thinking about it” Thor hummed, leaning against the bar top “it would be fun to surprise you but at the same time, I want your help on the matter”

Odin raised a brow and looked at him “Then tell me, oh wise one, what the answer will be?”

“Later” Thor said looking at the women swimming and walking about “as of right now, I wish to enjoy my drink and look at all these beautiful … landscapes”

Odin rolled his eyes at him “Landscapes, aye. Enjoying the hills, are you?”

“Trees, too” Thor said “very nice”

Odin made a face at him sipped his drink, watching the bartender bring Thor his own. They sat there, drying off for a while before heading off for a lunch.

Odin had no idea what Thor had in store for him but he knew that it would be something he would likely remember forever.

***

He went back, of course, there was no way Thor was not going to return to Nidavellir. Those men had probably had enough of his hammer, the week with Odin was long gone, their lives were returning to normal and with that normality, he needed his hammer.

His feet thunked on the ground, the bi frost faded from upon his back and he looked into the eyes of the frightened and somewhat impressed dwarves around him.

His red cape billowed in the wind and his armour was shining in the light of their sun. His blue eyes looked right ahead, focused on the very tavern he knew Mjolnir was in.

Thor took the steps needed to walk into the tavern and his lips tightened when he saw those three dwarves sitting and talking at a table right by the door.

All three of them.

They looked up when he entered and stilled, their beady eyes looking from him to the place Thor had set Mjolnir in the first place.

“Prince!” one of them greeted “Came to lose more?”

Thor huffed and walked in, ignoring them.

“Might be nice if you talked to us” he said

Thor ignored him again as he progressed, walking instead to where his hammer lay.

But he had taken not ten steps when he froze, his eyes going wide when he saw what was before him.

Nothing

There was nothing there but an empty table and a recently mopped floor. The table was polished clean and there was not a sign of his beloved hammer.

Mjolnir was not there!

And far too late, Thor realized that he hadn’t felt her tingle in his palm when he landed here.

His heart pounded in his chest and panic gripped his throat for a moment before it morphed into rage.

Thunder clapped outside and the dwarves snickered in glee.

“He knows!”

“His eyes do more than gawk at women, then!”

There was undignified cackling from behind him, that grated on Thor’s nerves and he turned, his eyes burning with fury.

“Where is she?”

The dwarves laughed harder at him, clearly, not worried.

The others in the tavern backed away from him, slowly headed for the exits.

“Why should we tell you?” the second one sneered

“Aye, what’s in it for us?” their leader mocked

There was dead silence other than their laughter and Thor took a single step closer.

A moment later, the door exploded and screams enunciated the blast as shards of wood pelted everyone other than Thor. The dwarves yelped and jumped beneath their table to avoid them but cried out in dismay when it was lifted from their heads and tossed aside by Thor himself.

It broke clean through a window and the customers fled the vicinity.

Thor reached down and grabbed the leader by the throat, lifting him up so his feet dangled off the ground. He stepped on the coat tails of the other two and started to squeeze.

“Where” he hissed “Is the hammer you cheated my father out of?”

Wind began to howl outside and a storm swirled, getting stronger and stronger with each angry breath Thor took.

The leader croaked and pulled at Thor’s wrist, his armour, trying to get him off!

But thunder rumbled and lightning fell right by the door, filling the air with deadly static and roasting the ground it fell upon again and again…

It was a warning, Thor was not going to ask again.

The two trapped by his mighty boots tried to pull free as the wind started to get ever stronger.

It wasn’t going to stop.

But the leader stayed silent.

He said not a word.

Another blast of lightning fell to them, closer to the door than before and one of the others screamed.

“Jotunhiem!” he shouted over the howling wind and thunder “Lord Thrym of Jotunhiem has it, let us free!”

The leader groaned in disappointment and Thor stepped back, stopping the destruction. There were leaves and hail scattered around the tavern and he dropped the leader on the now damp tavern floor.

“I will return if I find out you lied” he rumbled.

The leader glared and the other two cowered.

Thor stepped away from them and ignored their angry hissing, their curses and their anger.

He was going to Jotunhiem.

Jotunhiem…

***

Jotunhiem…

A land that was famed for its desolation, despair and death, held secrets that most realms didn’t seem to notice. The snow and the ice held a beauty to it, crystalline and sturdy as most of the realm was.

They thrived well enough, for men and women living in a land that had once crumbled and broke. The remains of the Great War with Asgard years ago had been pushed aside and room for a more solid home had been made.

Ever since the war, the realm slowly but surely became sufficient enough to provide for itself, then once that was achieved, became strong enough to form an export with realms that wanted a link with Jotunhiem.

At first they had little to offer, but Laufey King had discovered that the earth they dug up and tossed aside because it proved useless was actually valuable to other realms. To them, it was coal, to Jotunhiem, it was dirt. It burnt well with the fires of Muspelheim and Alfhiem and as a result, there started a trade route with both realms. Eventually it expanded until the three realms formed an attachment and depended on one another for various raw materials.

It developed well enough to sustain Jotunhiem and the people were thankful for that. They praised their king and spent time developing their own world. Soon, homes popped up, then villages, then towns and cities, all of them becoming populated and spreading to a good life for those who lived there.

Education was later given importance then the lives of the needy improved with homes and establishments that were funded by the rich in Alfhiem as a way to show their philanthropic side. They rarely visited, they didn’t interfere so it left the Jotuns happy. Seclusion, though preferred was sometimes put aside when dignitaries made occasional visits.

And it was these visits that one, Taneleer Tivan was most looking forward to. His desire to see these dignitaries and offer them his wares was something that many looked forward to.

Though not outright spoken or admitted, people from various realms snuck into Jotunhiem for a sample of what he had on offer. They came with foreign money and spent it all on him. They came with expensive gifts, they came with promises of giving him favours and granted them for more chances to visit.

Taneleer was a frightening man. He was tall, broad and a mixture of genetics that made tracing him impossible. He never stayed in the same place twice and more often than not, he remained unfound even by those desperate to see him. It left them panting after him like hungry dogs and all the more willing to reach his outrageous demands whenever he had them.

He was a sought after master of prizes and everyone who had a taste of the exotic wanted to barter and do business with him.

In the eyes of the realm, he was The Collector, taking in things that excited and were much desired.

But as known by the kings and nobilities, he was a trafficker.

He traded in flesh and blood, living beings he caught from various parts of the realm then sold them to high bidding men and women. He called them his children, in truth, they were all slaves. All of them were broken, remade and modelled into creatures that everyone in the realm wanted. They were built for those who had perversions they hid within themselves, not telling them to the closest of their companions, they were trained to like these perversions and then submit to them.

They were toys, all of them, made for men and women who played games with the bodies of broken people.

Taneleer spent ages making the perfect toys for his clients and often they had to wait years to acquire them. But for those who could afford it, it was a worthy investment.  They would get what they wanted and Taneleer made a hefty sum of money through this.

He had chosen Jotunhiem as his headquarter realm because it was cold, hard and everyone who came here didn’t judge. They already viewed Jotunhiem as a realm of monsters so no one would be surprised to have a real demon in their midst.

That, and Taneleer was paid handsomely, he spent all that money in Jotunhiem and was one of the most influential beings on the planet.

He had personally given King Laufey’s harem his collectables, all of them making the King very happy.

 He was, as many said, untouchable.

He was, as they said, a demon.

Those who worked for him were much like him – soulless, spiritless animals that stole the children and family members of other families to break down and sell.

Their families mourned their loss and Taneleer profited from it. For him, it was all about profit.

He didn’t mind doing anything he had to.

He was feared by his wares, by his children and refused them his company until he felt he had to. And these visits often ended with tears and pain for at least one of his wares.

Tonight, Taneleer walked the halls of the mansion he had taken abode in, going through the well lit, warm halls to where the dining table was set.

He had realized early on that having limited wares brought in business. He was aware that those who were made to wait would eventually offer more just to get their toy earlier.

It was why he always had twelve men and women at his table, all of them ranging in ages and races.

There were elves, Asgardians, Jotuns, a mixture of other races, every single one of them made and trained for their owners.

None had a chance to escape and they trembled, soft, scared noises escaping them as they doors banged open upon his entrance and he stormed in, grace and fear surrounding him.

“Ah” he purred, setting his eyes upon them all “Good evening, my darlings, how do you fare?”

They didn’t speak, their trainers had warned them against it.

“Excellent!” Taneleer beamed, coming to sit in his seat “Wine!”

A servant, scared as all the other staff, rushed to obey, quickly pouring him the drink he has asked for. Taneleer looked upon his prizes, smiling.

Their dinner was of star quality – Taneleer didn’t want his children to starve – but at this moment none of them wanted to eat. Because the twelfth seat was empty, a sign that another one of their tormented captives had been sold.

A new one would be brought over before Taneleer finished his wine.

He looked at the seat and purred over the memory of the profit he’d made.

“We shall miss her” he purred “Young Zelda, but I have excellent news for you. We have a new brother in her place! Someone that has been commissioned by a very high ranking noble in Asgard, do you believe?”

His eyes glittered with greed and madness and he went on as they had replied.

“He was hard to find, I must say” Taneleer told them “An Alf and Jotun mix? Ability to wield magic, too, I was most surprised. With green eyes and black hair, skin as pale as sugar, too. I was most worried about it. But look!”

The doors banged open and they all slowly turned their heads to see a muzzled, weak man be brought forth. He was older than all of them, taller, too and he slumped over in the arms of the guards who held him.

They all jumped when he was all but thrown into the chair and his head forced back to allow his muzzle to be removed. His hair fell over his face and his lethal green eyes turned to Taneleer, glaring death at them.

His hands clenched in rage and all of them recognized his spirit to flee.

They had had it once.

All of them had it.

This one would lose it, too.

“Loki!” Taneleer beamed at him “How do you fare? Isn’t it nice to get out of those dark, dingy cells?”

Loki the nameless, grit his jaw and looked ready to murder him. But he had learned early on to keep himself from such impulses.

Waiting would give him more advantages.

 “I knew it would!” Taneleer exclaimed “Now, please, start on the food, all of us are famished, are we not, children?”

The sound of cutlery being lifted in sync startled Loki for a moment and he watched as all those at the table ate automatically, their eyes lifeless, their movements practiced. He wagered that they wouldn’t even notice if their food turned to dust.

It had been a year of him being here, a year when he was taken on the eve of his twenty fifth birthday. He had been forced into a cell, tormented by noises and screams and the repetition of the same phrases over and over, he was given drinks and vials and potions to break his heart and spirit.

And he hadn’t.

His magic had saved him. Despite being contained, it was contained inside him, it worked inside him, it healed inside him. That was something Taneleer didn’t know and that was something that Loki relied on.

He couldn’t harm others, but others couldn’t harm him, either.

Not in his mind, at least.

He was still starved and electrocuted much like the rest, but he was durable, he survived.

And so far, he had managed to do so swimmingly, something that Taneleer both despised and liked.

For now, there was no pressure from the nameless Asgardian who purchased him so Taneleer was more than happy to let Loki be left alone. He has more pressing clients to tend to, after all.

Loki was interesting to him for now and he was content with his slow progress. Because progress he saw, in the way Loki did obey him to eat. The food held potions, too, meant to train their brains into obeying, which is why Taneleer mostly ate alone.

If taken sparingly, the potion was useless.

Taneleer watched Loki fill his platter and sniff everything before he tried it. It showed he was intelligent and would be more fun to break.

Taneleer was proud with this young man and started his own meal, looking forward to talking with the man who had bought Zelda.

He wanted to hear praises and be recommended further. All thoughts of Loki faded from his mind as he enjoyed his meal and the synchronized clattering of his children’s utensils.

But he could hear, still, in the synched and rhythmic eating, the one pair of utensils that went against them all.

And when he looked up, he saw lethal green eyes glaring into his, just to show him that it wasn’t going to be an easy fight for him.

Not at all.


	3. Life and Times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The life and times of prince Thor and Prisoner Loki

Jotunhiem’s winds were cold, colder than they normally were and everyone rushed back to their homes for an early night before the fire and hearth. Tonight was going to rain and because it was a freezing planet, it was going to be harsh weather, bearable only by a few.

Even the palace guards ducked out of sight, preferring to stay and keep watch from their towers as the hail and wind picked up.

Up above it, thunder occasionally rumbled and lightning flashed, but other than that, there was nothing but a thick sheet of wind and snow passing their eyes.

Fires were lit up higher and family members closed all doors and kept their houses warm as they waited for it to pass.

At the mansion, Taneleer Tivan ordered his staff to ensure the safety and well keeping of his children. Because the house was so large, it was colder than it normally was in this weather and he didn’t want to risk losing any of them to illness.

To him, they were important, they were his products. Even the cells, down below where the new ones were kept, were heated well enough to make sure they didn’t freeze to death. Heating was a huge expense to him, but one he was more than willing to pay because his wares were important.

Last night, he had had his dinner with them. Tonight, he had dined alone. He preferred it this way, he always had. But as he lifted his first forkful to his lips, a flash of green eyes went through his mind and they stayed there for the entirety of the meal.

Taneleer had always taken care of his children but he kept his distance from them. They were made into beautiful creatures and he was not blind to their beauty. He had made and enforced the rule on not only himself, but for those who worked for him; his children were untouchable.

Anyone who dared to, would be killed on the spot.

It had taken one or two rogues being slaughtered to get his point across but in the end Taneleer had the confidence in his staff to make sure that his children were pure.

Or as pure as they were when they were brought in.

He kept a strict distance from them, indulging himself with other women and men he would find in realms other than this should the need arise.

This fascination he had with Loki was nothing more than interest, he told himself, the interest of having him broken like the others so he could be sold to the man who was paying for him.

Unlike the others who commissioned him, Loki’s buyer – his future husband – was paying for him on a monthly basis. That meant that Loki’s clothes, his meals, his grooming, everything was paid for by the Asgardian.

Taneleer took what was left after Loki’s expenses and spent it on what he wanted to. Sometimes he spent it on himself, sometimes he spent it on the mansion.

Most of it, he spent on Loki and his training.

A training that was taking far too long, he had heard.

Loki had been out of his cell and into his training for a month now.

And there had been no progress. He fought, he hurt, he managed to wound one of the trainers, too. Taneleer had heard of how he was well trained in fighting and how he hurled a knife into the side of the man who was trying to force him into the outfit he was to wear.

It was like taming a wild animal and Taneleer was forced to give Loki only the basic foods to keep him weak. He denied him sleep, he ensured he was locked in his room, in solitude for hours. He was trying…And that was an insult upon him.

Last night, at the dinner table, Loki was not in synch with those eating. He was given water and bread while the others feasted on the best, right before him. He was made to stand and eat while the others sat.

And there was not a hint of regret in Loki’s eyes.

Instead, there was rage, looking right at Taneleer throughout the meal. There was so much rage that for the first time in his life, he felt like he was at a loss.

None of the things he did worked on Loki, none of them. He fought them all the entire month, he fought, for hours, for days.

He was hard to break because he was older, Taneleer reasoned, as he made his way down the halls and towards the training room.

None of his children were allowed to sleep immediately after eating. That was unhealthy and for the next three hours, they were all left in the training halls, going through the specifics of what they wanted to do.

There was dancing, music and for Loki, there was embroidery.

Taneleer knew exactly what was demanded from each of his children and he expected them to do it. His boots clacked in the stone floors as he walked to and entered the training hall, smiling when his wares looked busy in their work.

Soft music played in the background as he entered and he smiled, watching all of them sitting at tables, practicing what they were told to.

Some sketched and drew, some wrote, some mastered calligraphy, others mastered stitching. Those who were taught to dance in the corner danced, and it was they that Taneleer went to watch.

There were two who were supposed to learn dancing, one was a stunning girl from Vanahiem, with blue eyes and pouting lips, trained for the Vanir lord who commissioned her. She was young and the lord was to wed her. He wanted her as he wanted.

She was no problem, listening to her choreographer, taking in every word he spoke to her, dancing with him like she was supposed to.

Taneleer was proud of her.

The other person who was supposed to dance was Loki.

And by the jut of his hip and the scratch on his trainer’s face, it was clear he was not going to listen. He stood there, in the garbs he was instructed not to wear, standing still with the magic halting bracers around his wrists and the heavy ball and chain at his foot.

He was wearing it because he was insubordinate and Taneleer realized it was a good thing he decided to check in tonight.

Loki was not doing what he was supposed to. Instead, he watched, ignoring Taneleer blatantly, fixing his green eyes on the woman who danced before he was supposed to.

Not that he would, Taneleer knew, there was spirit enough in that one.

A spirit that Taneleer would bend tonight.

He cleared his throat and raised a hand.

The effect was instant.

All music stopped, all activities stopped. The wares stood attentive to their feet, their arms by their sides, their gazes ahead. Dead silence fell after, broken only softly as the trainers moved to stand behind their respective wares, all of them armed with the devices allowed to be used on them when they didn’t listen and obey.

All of them were attentive except for Loki, who had his hip cocked, his arms crossed over his chest, insolence firm within his eyes as he glared right at Taneleer.

It sparked Taneleer’s interest and anger at the same time and he forced himself to calm.

Rage would never get the result patience would. And Taneleer had plenty of that. He looked at Loki and watched Loki study him in return.

He saw his eyes go from his pale hair to his pale skin, his grey tinted eyes, study the make up on his face, then go for a look at his clothes.

It was disgust he saw in his eyes and Taneleer realized he didn’t like it. Not at all.

Exhaling, he smiled at Loki and walked over.

“My boy” he cooed “Why don’t you show Master what you have learned so far?”

Loki’s trainer tightened his grip on the only weapon he was allowed to use on Loki, but held his tongue.

It was clear he wanted to use it on Loki and it because clear why when all Loki did was glare at Taneleer.

He didn’t move a muscle.

Taneleer smiled at him, unfazed, then went to the music box designed for Loki.

“How about this?” he simpered “When I turn the music on, you come and do your pretty dance for me”

His gloved hand reached for the music box and he turned the key slowly, once, twice, three times.

The eyes of the others were on Loki, their hearts started to beat faster. The Master was going to be angry with him.

Taneleer let go of the key and music filled the large, well lit, warm hall. It sailed over the pictures and paintings, slipped over the warm, expensive rugs, floated over the comfortable furniture and grated on Loki’s nerves.

The room was beautiful and rich, decorated for the nobility, but for Loki, it was a prison. The music might have been nice, but there was no way for him to enjoy it in this cage.

This gilded prison.

Taneleer raised his brows, waiting. He was fully expecting Loki to dance for him.

The music went in, each note increasing the tension in the room as Loki stood where he was. He didn’t even blink.

Taneleer looked at Loki’s trainer and the man nodded. His fingers flicked the weapon in his hand and two prongs snapped open, a blue spark of electricity between them.

Without hesitating, he jammed the prongs into Loki’s leg and switched it on.

Loki screamed, losing his footing as he fell to the ground, thrashing and writhing as he was electrocuted. It fell upon him like lightning, seeming to burn his very spirit and he gasped and shouted in agony, hating himself for not being able to control it.

 The others watched in horror, looking quickly away from him and trying to ignore it.

But Loki’s screaming was unbearable to them. It burned into their skulls, their heads as he writhed and thrashed on the ground. His agony echoed on the room, getting louder and louder, breaking their souls further apart.

Taneleer raised a hand and it stopped.

Loki’s scream tapered off into a whine and he lay there, twitching and panting, his eyes shut.

Taneleer looked at him and sighed, his smile upon his face again.

“Now” he said “Will you show me your pretty dance?”

Even as he lay there, panting and in agony induced spasms, Loki opened his eyes to level a glare at Taneleer.

He took a shattered breath before he spoke

“G-Go to hel…”

Taneleer pouted at him and reached over to brush his hair back, which Loki detested.

“You will dance, my dear” he cooed “And you will do it all by yourself”

Loki glared at him, panting and shivering in the aftermath of his electrocution.

Taneleer retracted his hand and sighed, looking at his trainer once more. He was crouched by Loki’s head and watched his beautiful face contort in pain as he _screamed_ in agony once more.

Flashes of light and electricity burst into the room, lighting it up, capturing over and over again, the horror of those made to stand and watch.

Loki’s screams filled the small training room, the flashing light enunciated his pain and illuminated Taneleer’s mad face as he looked down upon Loki, who was tortured and trained to be the man he was supposed to be.

And he wouldn’t lie if he said that in all his years, he didn’t feel the satisfaction he felt when he punished this one.

***

And thus passed two months of agony for Loki, where he got barely a chance to breathe.

They groomed him, tied him up to fix his hair up, pulling and yanking, they forced him into clothes he hated and he ripped them apart when they were done. They electrocuted him then forced him back to put the same clothes on.

When he didn’t …

Oh…

That night, Loki was thrown outside in the storm, stark naked. He was chained there, for an hour, in the freezing cold as Jotun wolves circled him, trying to attack him, growling as they looked at the meat so readily available.

Loki had been disallowed clothes for a week, all of his own were taken and whenever he put something around himself, they yanked it off, leaving him humiliated and trying to cover himself.

It was the first of his defences they attacked and Loki was afraid that they would get to more.

A week later, they gave his clothes, then the ones they wanted him to wear.

His hands shook as he took both of them, silently putting them in his wardrobe.

Next, they made him cook.

They tied him to the stove and forced him to make the meal he was told to. It was a complicated Aesir meal and he hissed at the stove whenever he made a mistake.

Because he was electrocuted till he fell to the ground.

Then, he was made to stand and do it again

And again

And again until nothing was left in him.

Nothing.

Loki was starting to lose.

***

Whimpers filled the small cosy room, emanating from the lone figure laying on the single, four poster bed. The thick drapes of blue and white pulled halfway. The covers were not pulled back, the room looked like death.

And its occupant more so.

His body was cold, small scratches littered his thighs and back, tiny enough to vanish but big enough to hurt. His body still trembled with remembered torture and forbade him sleep. His eyes were wide and he was bare, unwilling to wear clothes over his wounded body.

For the first time since he came here, they had managed to hurt him.

But for the life of him, Loki hadn’t done what he had asked and Taneleer had left with the order to electrocute Loki till he lost his senses.

It took two hours.

And the others stood there, made to watch.

Loki spoke to them often, somewhere beyond coherence when Taneleer came before them but others could operate and pretended, a little, to escape punishment. Loki liked them, talked to them like they were people and in turn, they looked to him for guidance when they dared.

Tonight, they had seen him get hurt and Loki didn’t know what it would do to them.

He was curled up, lost in his pain and trying to get over it to sleep, at least a little, but there was no relief for him.

Not this night.

Not for him.

His eyes went to the skies and he lost count of how many times the same thought went through his head whenever he saw the stars.

His mother…

Farbauti, the stunning woman who kept him alive for so long, the woman who had given everything to see him grow up, he thought about her. Where was she? Was she still looking for him? Was she happy?

A thousand and one times that thought went through his head and a thousand and one times he mourned his freedom. He wanted it back, he wanted her back. He wanted to change the past, he wanted so much that he couldn’t have as he lay there in pain.

Farbauti lived on the other part of the realm, over the mountains, far behind the plains and in a place that radiated beauty. She was part of the capital, the most beautiful place in Jotunhiem. It was the most visited both by the locals and the handful of dignitaries that visited the realm on occasion.

Not only was the climate hard, the King himself was not very sociable. Treaties and trade was all well and good, but to him, the comfort of his home was too tempting to leave. He rarely went out. His castle was his entire realm, even if his work was spread throughout the kingdom, he himself stayed in the stunning, crystal and ice palace that dominated the capital city.

Because the homes were so close and larger than the villages, it was warm in the city, despite the cold that lay outside the walls. The snow melted to a great degree, staying only in large open areas within the city. It settled on the rooftops and tower tops and the occasional carriage, if it stayed still long enough.

But all in all, it was much like a strong winter in Asgard, bearable and a mild nuisance.

That was great news for the young man who was covered in cloaks and capes and coats, headed through the rush of the Capital’s streets. Locals passed around him as he trudged through the snow and ice, his steps ungraceful when compared to those that walked around him.

It was clear he was not from hair, but no one paid much heed. There were stragglers in Jotunhiem and most of them left not long after. As long as he didn’t cause trouble, they would ignore him. He nudged a few out of the way as snowflakes fell upon him with increasing speed, so that he could duck into a warm tavern.

The winds had been cruel earlier and were said to pick up once again. Those who were stuck in them were hurrying home.

Since the visitor had no home, he stuck to staying in the tavern for the night. The rooms were plenty and there was a lot of food for him to warm himself on. It didn’t take him long to get himself a hot meal and then seen to a room. The floors were made of ice, but thankfully there was a carpet over the one he was given. He thanked the servant who let him in, gave a coin in gratitude and quickly made himself comfortable.

A warm bath later, he was in bed, sighing in contentment.

Because Fandral the dashing was hardly without contentment. He could sleep easily everywhere, unlike his spoiled rotten prince. It was one of the many reasons that he was the one sent on this ridiculous quest and not Thor himself.

That, and the fact that Odin would not scold Fandral in the way he would Thor if he was caught.

For he was breaking the law in Asgard that was punishable by flogging.

No big deal, Thor had said, Odin wouldn’t know, he had said.

Fandral had decided to say no at first but with that face and those eyes, Fandral could only say no so far.

The prince could use those features to pout and whimper and even Sif could relent.

Now, Fandral wanted to smother the sympathy inside him that made him come here in this desolate land.

Or rather, he wanted to strangle the man who he came here for.

Loki Jarson, one mage and trickster extraordinaire. He was clever and intelligent, doing what he was paid for without question. And that was the man who Thor wanted to see, to persuade and even bribe, to get his hammer back.

Thrym has refused to answer Thor’s letters after the initial four, insisting that he had bought the hammers from a few dwarves. He had no intention of giving it back but was nice enough to include a sketch of his hammer as it lay upon the mantle in his manor.

There had been angry letters after that and a minor temper tantrum after which Thor made it clear that he was going to Jotunhiem to destroy Thrym.

Odin had told him to see sense, Bestla had told him to go and Balder pointed out that without his hammer, he had no chance of winning.

Thor, though furious, let himself calm down because he came upon the plan Fandral was implementing. He was to find Loki and bring him to Asgard, offer him a reward for getting the hammer back and that was it.

Or so Thor thought.

The only reason Loki was the only one Thor wanted was because news of Loki’s conquests were never ending.

He had stolen and saved, he had helped those in need and was hinted to be one of the core members who were responsible for the safe keeping of a few major relics in Jotunhiem.

He was the one Jotun who dealt with everyone who wanted to work in a less then conventional way. Loki did things he thought were worth his time and Fandral found out that he helped many people fight those corrupt and stronger than them using blackmail and outstanding wit.

He was the man Jotuns went to when all else failed.

And most of the time, he got the job done.

And for Thor, all diplomatic and reasonable solutions had failed. He had been without his hammer long enough. He had been patient enough.

A month and a half had passed, he wanted it back now.

And that thrice damned Thrym was not letting him get it.

Short of marching into Jotunhiem for Mjolnir, Thor had few options. This was one of them and the one Thor thought was the cleanest. All Fandral needed to do was to find Loki and give him the proposal Thor had sent out.

And to find Loki had not been easy. Fandral had been led to three false locations in the short time he had been here. To get to him, he would have to get in touch with the right people.

And tomorrow, he was going to do just that.

Because annoying or not, Thor had lost enough, it was time for him to gain some of it back, if possible.

***

The next day, Fandral gave himself the treat of a good, hefty breakfast, warmed himself aplenty before the tavern fire and departed on his mission.

His first stop, after asking those around, was a young woman who had commissioned Loki to help her regain control of her farm after the death of her parents. The farm had been in her name and her step father longed to take it from her. He had used force, but Loki had used his clever mind and not long after, the woman was given back what was hers in the first place.

She lived not far from the tavern, so Loki was thankful of that. When he reached the shop she worked in, he was grateful. The shop was warm, the smells of flowers was soothing and Fandral smiled at the charm of the little flower shop.

It looked like a green house, with elongated glass lids placed on every flower so that it stood out, despite there being almost a hundred. Each had a little sketch of the flower, its scientific name and a few of its properties. Shelves lined the walls of the small shop, right up to the ceiling, which was an exact replica of a greenhouse ceiling. Fandral knew that the glass was long replaced by Jotun crystal so it didn’t break under the pressure of high winds and storms.

It was a wonderfully fantastic shop and he smiled at the girl who was behind the large counter, talking to her friend. Her friend looked at Fandral and bowed before the two of them gave him smiles.

“How may I help you, my lord?” the one Fandral came to see asked

Any other day, Fandral would have had a charming, witty response, that would get her attentions if he wanted.

Today, he nodded in greeting “Which one of you fair maidens is Nymphaea?”

They looked at each other, then at him.

“This one” her friend said, blonde hair, green eyes and a snarky attitude all facing Fandral “Who’s asking?”

“Fandral of Asgard” Fandral beamed at her, not at all put off by her somewhat unwelcome demeanour “I have come here to aid Prince Thor in a quest and find that I might be in need of your help”

“Prince Thor?” Nymphaea asked “You mean Prince Thor, the Crowned Prince and soon to be King?”

“The same” Fandral beamed “If you help, I will have him reward you, too”

Nymphaea gasped loudly and looked at her friend, barely able to conceal her excitement. Then she looked back at Fandral.

“Of course, what do you need?”

“Just a few questions, nothing too dangerous” Fandral said

He looked at the many pockets in his coat and pulled out a paper. He handed it to her, an old portrait sketch of Loki’s, and looked at her

“That is Loki Jarrson” he said “I heard you know of him?”

Nymphaea nodded “Aye, I do. He helped me save my lands so I could grow my flowers”

“Excellent” Fandral said “I need to see him, do you know where he is?”

“Oh” Nymphaea shook her head “No, you … you didn’t hear?”

And it was then that Fandral realized that he had a niggling feeling in the back of his head that something bad was about to happen. He felt his stomach sink but showed none of it on his face, simply shaking his head at her.

“Nay, my lady, what happened?”

“He’s been missing for almost two years now” Nymphaea said softly

Fandral felt himself go hot, then cold. Right before his eyes, his quest seemed to light fire and burn and despite his best efforts, it clearly showed on his face.

Both women saw his pallor, then looked to one another before the untrusting one moved behind the large counter and brought him a chair.

“Do be seated” she said, not unkindly, not too concerned “I will get you water, aye?”

Fandral nodded and looked ay Nymphaea as she came to stand opposite him, leaning a little against the counter. There was sympathy in her eyes and she sighed

“Will you not tell me what happened?” Fandral asked softly “What do I tell the Prince?”

“The truth, obviously” Nymphaea smiled sadly “You will tell him what happened that day”

The other woman came back with a large goblet of mead and went to stand behind the counter, looking past Fandral.

“It would be wise if you took him out back” she said, her tone sombre “Customers are a coming”

“Of course,” Nymphaea bowed, then gestured to Fandral “Come with me, we can talk in the back room”

Fandral stood immediately, taking his chair with him and into the back. The room was small, cosy and a large table occupied one corner. The other had a comfortable couch set sitting on a very warm fur. And it was one of these couches that Fandral sat in once he put the chair by the table, watching Nymphaea light a fire in the tiny, barely there hearth. It warmed up the room easily enough. He waited patiently, looking at the woman as she fidgeted before sitting in the chair, facing him.

“I was there” she said, “It was the time of the royal fair in Jotunhiem and many a nobleman was there…

… _Loki was there, too. He was always fascinated by fairs and the like, the odd inventions and whatever men and women from the realm brought forth._

_His green eyes shined in the unusually bright day and he beamed, crossing street after street, hand in hand with his mother, Lady Farbauti,  respected woman. She was the widow of the great Knight Jarr, a fearsome warrior and one of the King’s most trusted men. Since the death of her husband, she and Loki had spent time with difficulty, improving only when Loki was of age and decided to follow the footsteps of his father._

_He had learned quickly enough that the Knights were not as noble as Loki had thought and that they craved glory more than anything. He had seen many a helpless man be snubbed because his quest would lack the glory another, richer man’s would._

_Loki had decided to help those in need despite their stations and took what they could give. If they gave nothing, he was content with their gratitude._

_It made him a very popular young man with both men and women, very sought after, too._

_That day, at the fair, he longed to see the unbelievable contraption made by three entire villages. It was the talk of the fair, honestly and he ran faster when he saw a large collection of men and women, taking Farbauti with him._

_“Loki, love, slow down!” she laughed, holding her skirts “I am not young anymore, you know”_

_“Oh, you are fine” Loki told her over his shoulder “Just pretend that we are going to see Lord Tyr of Asgard, I hear he has arrived”_

_“Loki!” Farbauti scolded, her cheeks colouring a bright pink “Mind yourself!”_

_“Tis my birthday, Mother” Loki teased, slowing down as they reached the edge of the crowd “You can do nothing.”_

_“Unfortunately” Farbauti narrowed her eyes and growled._

_Loki gave her no answer, lost, already in the huge device before them. He pulled Farbauti before him, a woman nearly as tall as he and the two of them watched in wonder._

_It was as big as a hall! A monstrosity of construction, made of wood and metal, spinning and swirling and clicking as it was set deep into the ground._

_It was a training device for warriors to walk through, an obstacle course of the highest order and Loki grinned when he saw that, for a small fee, men were padded up and allowed to try it._

_The line was a short one, since not many dared, but Loki could not resist. He looked at Farbauti and beamed._

_And she knew, right there, that Loki would want nothing else._

_“Darling, it’s dangerous” she tried to reason_

_But there was no way Loki was deterred and not twenty minutes later, he had given her a seat where many already sat to watch the contestants._

_The obstacle course has taken two whole days to be fixed and thus, was the centre of nearly everyone’s attention._

_It started with a ramp, that was set at the beginning, leading to a collection of spinning, twirling, leaping metal balls, all of them moving at different paces. The first obstacle was passing these, followed by a slope that was secured at one end but moved in circles thanks to a few large cogs that were activated and controlled by a hint of Vanir magic. Blades and spears rose from the floor of the next obstacle and then blatantly swung in all shapes and sizes as the final obstacle._

_It was these sharpened, frightening blades that frightened most of the people, looking like they were freshly made for a guillotine. It was intimidating, to say the least and everyone watched as many who dared, were thrown off at the first obstacle._

_Padding was heavily secured before being put on them but people still gasped and screamed when an obstacle narrowly missed a brave warrior attempting to cross the course. It was ten feet high, twelve feet wide and everyone thought that crossing it was impossible._

_But not everyone who was there, wanted to see this device, one person was there, specifically, to hunt._

_His odd looking eyes searched the people, looking at faces, features and forms, scoping out those who would do and those who were safe. With a cape and cowl over him, there was no way he was recognized. His pale hair was beneath a hat and hood and his hands were gloved._

_His men, two of them, were the same, their eyes looking out for potential wares as they monitored the crowd, looking for the person who would fit their client’s desires._

_Taneleer Tivan was someone who strived for perfection and longed to have for himself the perfect specimen, his new child. He would mend him and fix him into what he was supposed to be and ultimately make a huge profit off it._

_His eyes went to the device and for a few seconds, he was interested, but when he saw no one worthy of his attention, he made his way back, intending on scoping out the rest of the fair._

_He was turning away when cheers and shouts sounded as another fool climbed the device behind him, attempting to battle fate._

_He didn’t look at first, but the cheers started to get louder and louder, screams turned excited rather than terrified and whistles blew in the air._

_One of his men was within his sight and he signalled to Taneleer to look behind him._

_Taneleer turned and he felt his mouth part as he saw a limber, though heavily padded, young man leap over the obstacles with the grace of a dancer. His black hair billowed in the wind, his green eyes glittered with excitement and Taneleer knew._

_He knew this was the man he had come here for._

_He nodded to his partner, then sought out and signalled the other, telling them who he wanted._

_As the crowd cheered, Loki beamed and leapt over the blades, coming towards the swinging guillotine and made blades. He took a deep breath and slowly, one by one, passed them, taking into account the gasps and cries of those who watched._

_It gave him pleasure, this boasting, he was not going to lie and he knew Farbauti was going to give him hell for it the moment they got home._

_It would be worth it, however, Loki thought as he reached the final two blades._

_The men and women watched with their breaths held, as Loki crossed one … then the other and emerged unharmed at the end._

_Their howls and bellows of congratulations made Loki beam as he climbed down, having completed the obstacle course. Men and women shook his hands, pat his shoulders, ruffled his hair and he laughed, letting them do so._

_It was invigorating and he waited till he was divested of his padding before he bid them farewell and went to Farbauti._

_“You idiot!” she grinned “I should chop you to pieces for scaring me!”_

_She embraced him tightly and kissed his cheek over and over, just because he hated it in public._

_“Mother!” he whined, pushing at her “Stop it!”_

_“No” Farbauti kissed his cheek harder, exaggerating it until those around chuckled._

_“You’re embarrassing me!” Loki groaned_

_He hissed when she backed away and tousled his hair, just to annoy him further. It worked and Loki hissed, stepping back._

_“Stop…” he whined, fixing his hair and pushing it back the way it was._

_Farbauti snickered at him and watched him fix himself so he looked like the normal, slightly stern looking trickster he wanted to be. In truth, she knew he was sweet and intelligent, his heart was kind and his strength was impressive._

_He helped those who couldn’t help themselves and though his conquests were few, he was a true hero in the hearts of many. He was a man made to be a Knight._

_“So, where to next?”_

_Loki looked at her and shrugged, sticking his hands in his pockets._

_“Food stalls?” he prompted “They have delightful pies, from what I heard”_

_“It’s your birthday” Farbauti looped her arm through Loki’s and led him ahead “You know, you showed off a little at the end, didn’t you?”_

_Loki cocked his head to the side “Aye, you mean during the screaming and chanting of my name?”_

_“They didn’t chant your name”_

_“They were chanting in their heads”_

_“Ah, of course and you heard them, being the wonderful sorcerer you are” Farbauti drawled_

_“Of course”_

_They moved past crowd and slowly made their way away from the obstacle course and to thinner crowds. Because everyone was basically collected behind them, Loki and Farbauti had relative peace as they went to the food stalls, looking over the different items on display._

_Their minds wanted pies but their hearts wanted everything, so they compromised and got a little of everything, going to sit beneath the shade of a tree far from everyone._

_It was nice and secluded and they could relax properly._

_Farbauti leaned back on her elbow and Loki sat beside her, picking through the foods to take what he liked and throwing what he didn’t like to a few rogue gulls that circled their palace on occasion._

_“You know, the more you feed them, the more they will come” Farbauti pointed out as Loki threw a pea at them_

_“I know” Loki said “I like them”_

_The gulls often stopped here at this time of year because the snow was not as thick. This was a stop for their migration and once the weather turned colder, they would go south, where it wasn’t as freezing._

_“You like the odd ones” Farbauti snickered “You always have. No one likes gulls and you do”_

_Loki shrugged and continued his picky eating._

_Once it was finished, Loki looked at his mother._

_“I want more”_

_Farbauti smiled “Then go get it. And get me the tart I saw earlier, if no one else took it”_

_“You wish to have the whole thing?” Loki stood “You just ate”_

_“There is always room for dessert, Loki” Farbauti told him “Now go, someone else might take it”_

_Rolling his eyes and kicking a little snow at her as he left, which she huffed at. She threw snow back at him and Loki skipped away, humming to himself._

_As he crossed the plain land they were in and reached the edge of the fair, two men came up behind him. They were calm, frighteningly so._

_Loki was out of Farbauti’s sight, almost to the fair when they attacked._

_Loki gasped as he was grabbed roughly around the waist and yanked back, a heavy hand coming over his mouth._

_His eyes widened and he reached back to scratch whoever held  him when he smelled the horrid stench of a strong potion. His nails raked skin and he heard a painful shout, so he attacked again._

_But the grip didn’t loosen and slowly Loki became weaker and weaker until his arms fell by his side and his world turned black…_

….I don’t know who took him or how” Nymphaea looked at Fandral “but his mother searched high and low for him, screaming his name, calling for him”

She sighed, painted gold, as the room was, by the small comfortable fire. The room was silent, all sound smothered by the story.

“She never found him”

 “No one looked for him?” Fandral asked

“People do, they search, then give up, then search, then give up” she said sadly “she tries to get someone to listen to her and help. She went off on her own a few times, she hasn’t found him. It like he just …”

“Vanished” Fandral finished for her.

He sighed and looked aside, nibbling on his lip.

“And no one has any suspicions?”

“They all think he’s dead” Nymphaea said “That’s way they don’t search anymore. They say he got attacked on the fair or murdered or something. He helped a lot of people, but he made lots of them angry, too”

“So the people think someone lost their temper and killed him” Fandral sighed

“Yes” Nymphaea said “Sorry, I wish I could tell you more”

“You already told me more than I can thank you for” Fandral smiled at her “You truly helped”

Nymphaea gave him a sad sort of smile and exhaled, looking at her hands.

“She has been coming here” she said “She was here yesterday. It was his birthday. She bought a flower and went to plant it somewhere”

“She is still here?” Fandral tensed “Do you know where?”

Nymphaea shook her head “No, but Amora does. She knows where everyone lives. She might seem hard but she will help you”

“Then I will ask her at once” Fandral stood

He took Nymphaea’s hand when she was close enough and kissed her knuckles, “Thank you, my lady. I will depart and look for Farbauti”

Nymphaea blushed a little and bowed her head “You are more than welcome to come here, my lord. The weather will turn bad again, you can stay in this room if you wish”

“I will keep your graciousness in mind, kind woman” Fandral said

He gestured to the door and followed her out, smiling at the customers who bought their flower and left. Nymphaea went to work and Fandral went to Amora.

“Do you know where Farbauti is?” he asked her plainly “Can you take me to her?”

Amora looked at him, as though deciding in her mind whether to trust him or not. He didn’t say a word, looking right back at her.

Eventually, she sighed and nodded “Aye, let me get my coat”

Fandral bowed to her and stepped back when she passed him, going to get her coat. He smiled at Nymphaea, who was busy counting and calculating their earnings so far. His mind went over the story he had just been told and he thought about his next step.

There was no way he would stop, not till he saw Loki’s body with his own eyes.

For his prince, he would do what he had to to get Loki to him.

***

The common area of their halls were warmed up and ready for them. Since training was not going to start until after dinner, the time after lunch was easy for them.

Not that they would totally relax, even here, they were monitored. Every movement they made was watched, the way they acted was written down, then reported to Taneleer so anyone who wasn’t who they were supposed to be, would get what was coming to them.

And for so long, it had been Loki.

His magic protected him from within but he had been electrocuted so many times now that his hands shook in doing simple tasks. It scared him, but he didn’t let it show.

He only thanked the norns that they worked well in the mornings when he woke alone. He moved them well, but when the time came for his first punishment, they would shake again and he feared losing control over them.

He hadn’t danced.

And it had been a month and a half since Taneleer first told him to. Loki had been here for nearly two years now and he wasn’t doing anything he was supposed to. It infuriated Taneleer and it made him angrier when Loki proved he didn’t fear him.

Nothing worked on Loki, nothing.

And he endured painful electrocutions on a nearly daily basis now.

And he stood tall, proud and stubborn.

He was not going to obey.

Taneleer would have to kill him.

As they sat there, all of them talked silently amongst each other, sticking to the topics they should be interested in. those who had topics which were risqué, sat aside, silently reading books that told him how to please their new masters.

Loki was in a corner, rubbing feeling back into his arms. They still tingled and his hands still shook, evidence of what had been done to him.

He was going to stay stubborn, but he knew that realistically, he was going to do irreparable damage to himself if he didn’t behave.

His only option was getting out of here.

But he feared that he would wind up in the clutches of the man who was intent on buying him.

He formed a plan, one that he would ultimately implement, one where he would pretend to be the man Taneleer wanted then escape from the person buying him.

But he didn’t want to go to Asgard. The place was a nightmare, it was the land of the enemy. He would prefer staying here, in Jotunhiem.

He would prefer running to his mother and taking her far from people like these.

He would prefer being left alone, protected, staying somewhere people like Taneleer would never be able to get him.

He would prefer not being so damn afraid.

He was supposed to be reading but the book he was ordered to finish, the horrible one on needlework, was placed aside. There was no way he was learning how to make designs to please a pervert.

The only thing he was doing, was going him to Farbauti.

He had to.

Taneleer would not break him.

His father used to tell him that Loki had so much fire within him that he put stars to shame.

Loki feared he was losing that fire now. He had endured too much, he had endured starvation, induced insomnia, punishment, pain and electrocution.

He didn’t know how long he could endure more.

He sighed softly, looking aside.

He had once wondered what it would be like now that he had been hurt by Taneleer, how the other children would react. He had found out soon enough.

They stopped talking to him.

The day after he got his punishment for not dancing like Taneleer wanted, all of them had moved away from him, refused to answer his questions or give him any sort of help.

And just like that, Loki had lost the one peace he had here.

They turned his backs on him, all of them. They avoided him like the plague, and what was worse, they told Taneleer of his plan.

They told him that Loki intended to escape, they he wanted to take all of them with him, they told him everything he had told them.

And Loki had lost an important edge. The only thing he had now was his magic.

And that was not enough to stop his hands from shaking.

He idly rubbed his limbs, looking at a spot in the corner listlessly, when the door opened.

At the gasps of fear, Loki turned his head and his lips tightened when he saw Taneleer standing there, smiling at them.

“Relax, Children, relax” he cooed “I do not come for you”

His silver eyes went to Loki – so predictable – and he sauntered forward, beaming at him. His face was downright ugly and he looked happy.

Which boded ill for Loki.

“My dear son” he simpered, stopping before Loki “I have a surprise for you, do you wish to know?”

“You are killing yourself?” Loki droned “That would be a lovely surprise”

Those who Taneleer passed, looked at the duo with wide eyes.

“No” Taneleer smiled at Loki “I have decided that these, incompetent men and women are not going to get anywhere with you, so it’s time for a change”

Loki felt his stomach sink and looked upon him in ever rising horror.

And for the first time, it showed on his face. Taneleer saw it, too, and it made him smile. He reached forward and stroked Loki’s cheek, chuckling when Loki pulled away from him in disgust.

“I have decided to train you myself”

Loki’s heart skipped a beat and he unconsciously leaned away from him.

“You won’t touch me”

Taneleer smiled “I will do more than that, boy”

He snapped his fingers and two trainers strode forth. Loki’s eyes widened and he shot to his feet, trying to move past them. Taneleer was gracious enough to let him go but the others were not.

It was laughable, how quickly Loki was caught and he cursed at them, shouting insults at them over and over. They forced him down on his front, holding him there as they pulled his wrists back, pinning them at the small of his back.

“Tie him up nicely” he said “Then bring him to my rooms”

Loki inhaled sharply, fear prominent in his eyes as a cloth was put over his eyes and lips, his hands pulled behind him till cuffs clicked around them. He groaned as he was picked up and carried off, two of them taking him out into the cold halls and to a portion of the manor he had never been to.

He heard mumbles and questions around him but the ones carrying him didn’t reply. He was not unbound, he was taken through the manor till he reached a warm part of the palace.

Loki growled when he was moved and deposited on something smooth, then left there. With his hands behind his back, he couldn’t do much, but he longed to. Oh, he longed to!

He twirled his hands, trying to get the bonds to loosen. There was no sound around him, so he knew that he was alone and no one would stop him.

The ropes were not unbearably tight, either, which meant that he would be able to escape them in time. So he kept at it, slowly moving his wrists apart, loosening the bonds enough to have enough space to wriggle one hand out.

He heaved a sigh of relief when it finally happened and he reached up to yank his gag and blindfold off.

His chest constricted a moment later when he was assaulted by darkness. For a moment he feared he was blind, but there was a strip of light, a single vertical line that glowed not too far away. It cast just enough light to convince him he wasn’t blind. Just enough.

Loki swallowed thickly and slowly extended a foot to step on the ground but gasped when he felt nothing and quickly pulled his foot back. There was depth there, nothing else and he tried again, solidly planting himself where he was, he extended his foot to see how far it would go.

Loki was tall and it came as a shock when he couldn’t reach anything at all. He pulled back and moved to where he could feel the platform he was on, going to try the other side.

The result was the same, he tried over and over and in the end he came to the horrible conclusion that he was set upon a pedestal, like a true prize, and kept there until he broke.

And how terrifying that thought was.

It made him swallow thickly as he sat there in the dark, unable to move too much for fear of dropping down.

His hands didn’t shake anymore.

But his spirit, his soul and his body did.

He was starting to get scared now.

And he didn’t know what to do.

***

The sunlight at their backs, the soft grass beneath their boots and a huge target before them seemed to be one of the things that helped the Crowned Prince calm down.

His temper in the last two months had been dreadful, Balder noticed and he avoided him when those times happened.

He didn’t fear for his safety, but Thor could use words as cruelly as he could his weapons in war. Balder didn’t want to be wounded by them and further increase the distance between them.

Thor cared for him and loved him, yes, but they were not close. They were amiable enough to train and spar together and know a few things about one another, but Thor was closer to his friends more than his brother.

Balder didn’t mind, it left him to his own devices and his own friends.

And Bestla.

Norns above that woman was pure magic, not that Thor knew. He teased her and smiled and laughed with her but at the end of the day, it was Balder who really spent time with her and knew her.

And she knew him.

She was the one who became his mother after Gaia, cared for him, loved him and never let him feel the space left after his mother passed.

Thor was older, had his own life and responsibilities and Balder had no choice other than to accept it. It wasn’t as if he could force Thor to be like him.

The man loved his freedom, Balder wouldn’t take it.

So he was accepting and content with their mild relationship and looked at the target before them. Beside them was a table where they had their arrows set and a bow case that was opened.

Thor had invited him earlier to have an outing and they ended up setting up a target and firing arrows at it.

 Their conversation was scarcely spread but the thudding of the target was constant. Thor was at his most casual, wearing a sleeveless, loose tunic to aid him in being cool in the Asgardian heat. The sun shined down upon his tanned skin, his tattoos seemed to slither over him as he moved to pick up and fire another arrow.

Balder smirked at it hit two inches off the red bulls eye and turned to him.

“You are lacking, brother” he smiled “Mine is at least within the circle”

Thor hummed “Perhaps I lack the free time to practice, like you. Being the more responsible one of us, I do find myself busier than before”

Balder’s lips tightened but he said noting, opting to pick up another arrow and fire it.

It hit, once more, dead centre and he smirked softly to himself when he heard Thor’s mildly irritated sigh.

Thor picked up is third arrow and raised it again, taking careful aim. He closed one eye and tilted it aside, took a deep breath before releasing it.

He fired.

Balder pulled his lips inwards when the arrow bounced off the edge and fell to the grass, harmless. Thor huffed once more and walked ahead, going to retrieve the arrows.

Balder followed suit, pulling out those closest to him.

“Any luck with the hammer problem?” he asked

“Nay” Thor rumbled “It’s hard to find time when all I have to do is meet delegates and sit within the Council. Father rarely gives me time to breathe, let alone march on and get Mjolnir back. He even has be studying so that I can take that ridiculous examination at the end of the year”

“The ridiculous examination will ensure whether you are suited for the Council or not” Balder pointed out “How far have you gone in your studies?”

“I barely started” Thor yanked out the last arrow, then bent to pick up the one shot he’d missed “I am studying history right now. All I can say is that the battles are interesting, especially with the illustrations”

“The moving ones?” Balder asked, turning to head back to their marks

“Aye” Thor said “I finally realized women’s desire to read those romantic novels”

Balder made a face at him “Grand Mother reads those”

Thor groaned “Please don’t tell me things like that”

“But she only reads ones where the men are in love” Balder said

“Alright…!” Thor set the arrows down harder then he intended “Let us make this the last game, aye?”

Balder chuckled “Winner gets to dare”

“Nay, winner gets to go back and rest” Thor said, lifting his arrow.

He let it go and watched it sail through the air and jam in the second highest scoring ring”

“Damn” Thor whispered

Balder raised his arrow and fired without hesitation, watching it hit the centre again “Oh dear. Perhaps you should be less responsible and practice”

Thor snorted at him “You know, I am not the only one who is influenced by Grand Mother”

“I have no idea what you mean” Balder gave him a superior look and nodded to his arrows “Fire already, I have to go back and rest”

A smirk settled on Thor’s lips and he lifted his bow to fire once more.

He had taken a deep breath when a loud hiss and a puff of air went past him and a bright coloured arrow cleaved the one Balder had fired right through the middle.

Startled, both princes turned and Thor felt his lips curve into a grin when he saw who stood there.

“Svadilfari!” he greeted

His old friend smiled at him, throwing aside his bow and arrow and striding forward.

“Ah, the two spoiled princes of Asgard” he embraced Thor, laughing when Thor gave his shoulders a squeeze “A rare sight to see you in Asgard, Thor. Are you feeling well?”

Thor stepped back and grinned at him “Aye, of course, old friend. How about you? How go your adventures?”

“Fairly well” Svadilfari said, then nodded to Balder civilly “My Prince”

“Svadilfari” Balder greeted

“Nothing like you, however” Svadilfari turned back to Thor, chuckling “Losing tempers and hammer left and right. I rather liked the dwarven tavern you broke apart, thank you for that”

Thor snickered “An impulsive, spur of the moment decision, forgive me. I didn’t know your tastes ran to dwarven types”

Svadilfari inclined his jaw and narrowed his eyes at Thor “I missed you, old friend”

Thor smiled at him “And I you”

The prince pat Svadilfari on the back and looked to Balder, who just looked uncomfortable.

“Why don’t you head on to the palace, brother?” Thor asked, “You said you wished to relax”

Svadilfari raised his brow at the clear, blunt dismissal, but more at the fact that Balder only smiled and nodded, turning to put his weapon aside before he left them alone.

Thor didn’t seem to think twice about it and turned back to Svadilfari

“Now” he beamed, giving him a shake “Share with me the best Asgardian drink and tell me what you have been doing so far”

Svadilfari smiled “How can I turn down a prince’s offer?”

He put his arm around Thor and the two headed off, going to the royal palace to have their drinks and tales of what they did in the months passed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please point out/ forgive mistakes


	4. Torment

Thor and Svadilfari had a friendship that started a few years ago. Though Thor was not one to gain too many friends and spend hours upon hours with them, getting drunk and into all sorts of trouble, Svadilfari was someone who Thor saw as a kindred spirit.

He had seen him in Asgard a few times, mostly on the training ring, being trained to become a royal guard. He knew his name and they greeted each other often but nothing beyond that. Thor had his own companions, the three warriors and the ever graceful Lady Sif to spend his time with, but he kept a strict distance from them.

It wasn’t because they were not nice men and woman, but Thor just didn’t feel like he could connect with them as much as they seemed to want him to. They took him on hunts and though he joined them, he didn’t participate that deeply into their conversations or games or anything else, really.

He liked being alone, he liked doing things by himself.

He had also started to like the Lady Freya when he and Svadilfari were put into the ring together, a friendly spar between them.

Thor had expected Svadilfari to be weak but the man had put up a fight that had even Thor struggling to match him.

He had won, of course, but after that he had a sort of respect for Svadilfari that he hadn’t for anyone else other than Odin. Their friendship started to blossom then and Thor liked Svadilfari because he wasn’t someone who became invested in trying to help Thor feel better or go out of his way to do things for him.

He let Thor be and lived his own life, much like Thor did. Whenever they met, they shared their adventures and tales and sometimes took trips together.

They drank and celebrated their victories then went back to their separate ways. They got to know each other better and it was then that Thor learned that Svadilfari had lost his own mother when he was a young boy.

His father had little money and Svadilfari often moved from place to place within Asgard, trying to make ends meet until Svadilfari was admitted into the Royal Academy and joined the ranks of the palace guards.

He loved spending is time with Thor and had often told him that he admired the younger man’s strength.

They had sparred, Svadilfari had taught him some street fighting skills that Thor learned and returned the favour by teaching him complex techniques.

They became fast friends despite the fact that their meetings were sparse.

Thor appreciated the distance as much as he did the friendship, so it wasn’t uncommon to see the prince spend his free time with Svadilfari whenever the two were fortunate enough to find themselves in a realm together. They aided each other in battle and in life, eventually becoming the closest of companions.

They of course, caused rumours to circulate between the realms, whispered and hushed, but still there, about how the two were perhaps closer than friends. They only became more frequent when they started to mark their skins in ink, the two of them writing down their many battles and quests.

Of course no one said anything directly to the prince or his friend but it still made many raise their brows when the two vanished for weeks on a quest.

Of course the King thought nothing of it, is son was barely home long enough for him to.

But then someone came to him with news about his son and a certain lady, who was once Lord Svadilfari’s beloved and how is son would likely take the news unfavourably.

The thought of his son being in a competition with his friend – whom Odin had reservations about – was enough to make him worry.

***

“A ball?”

The voice was filled with disdain, apprehension and more than a certain hint of disgust. A ball was something that was a much loathed imposition on his daily routine and Odin huffed, looking despairingly at his favourite hunting dog, Svad – not named after anyone, thank you very much, Thor – bring to him his  stick.

The dog wagged its tail and sat before the King and his son, looking up at them with his bright blue eyes. It resembled a wolf more than anything and that was the reason Odin chose him. Svad was a fine hunter and Odin never left on a hunt without him.

Of course, he was a fool for play, too, because Odin took the stick and threw it far, watching the dog run after it as though it was the best game ever.

“I can think of nothing more repelling than a whole evening of watching other people dance” he muttered

Thor snickered as he stood beside him. The day was still warm and Thor’s half sleeved shirt pulled taut at his arms as he tied his hands behind him, watching Svad – yes, he is named after my dear friend, thank you very much, Father – grab the stick and jog back.

“You know you can always try dancing yourself” Thor pointed out “The men are scarce and rarely willing to dance so nothing stops you from finding a lady to whisk to the dance floor”

Odin snorted “Preposterous. I would rather fetch Svad’s stick for him”

Thor chuckled and looked at him “I will remember to bring it to the ball, then”

Odin let out a pitiful whine and looked at his son “Why can’t I just stay home? It’s so cosy there”

“Perhaps because the ball is thrown by your dear friend, who – I might add – you love very much” Thor said “Lord Gavel is one from Vanahiem and took a home here just to throw this ball for you. It would be awfully impolite for you to reject”

A scoff before Odin replied told Thor everything he needed about Lord Gavel.

“He throws the ball merely to show off his wife” Odin said “Freya is known for her beauty and the man is clearly seeking moments to show her off. It is a shame really, he doesn’t know the truth about her or merely ignores it”

Thor looked at him, his face clear of emotion “You sound very much like your valet, I must say. That man is filling your head with gossip.”

“Information, Thor” Odin said, throwing the stick again and watching Svad go after it “He informs me”

“Of gossip” Thor watched the dog pick the stick up “Everyone loves to tarnish the honour of a woman years younger than her husband. It’s one of the things they enjoy”

“Well, this piece of gossip is going to sound rather crass” Odin told him “Because it states that she has a lover much younger than her”

“Is that right?” Thor smirked “Must be a lucky man then”

“Aye” Odin held his hand out for Svad to give him the stick “And what’s new is that she as another lover and he recently returned to town. The ball is thrown not only for Gavel, but for his lady to see her lover again”

Thor turned his head to Odin at that, a frown on his face “Returned to town? What are you talking about?”

Odin snickered “Ah, now you are interested, aye?”

Resisting the urge to say more, Thor watched as Odin once more sent his dog to fetch. Within his heart, uncoiled a nasty feeling and he realized too late that it was jealousy.

And it surprised him, it truly did.

He had thought his fling with Freya wouldn’t mean anything to him and at times he had encouraged her to take lovers. But this … but the fact that she has was making it nearly unbearable and he fought to keep his dislike off his face.

“You said her lover came to town” Thor spoke causally “Has your valet told you who it is?”

Odin laughed “Of course, you might be surprised, Thor, the man being so close to your own heart, but the lover we speak of is none other than..”

Thor felt a blow to his stomach as he looked at his father “Svadifari”

“Aye” Odin said “Far be it for me to say anything about the man’s taste but a woman like her is rarely enjoyable when so many taste her wares”

“That’s such a sexist thing to say” Thor frowned, his emotions in turmoil “If she were a man everyone would applaud her. It is only her gender that makes her open to condemnation. I had seen many do it but I did not expect it from you”

Odin stared at Thor, confused as to why Thor was bothered so greatly. But his son gave him no chance to ask and turned to storm away, his stride angry. Svad barked at his master and nudged his hand with his nose but Odin barely paid attention.

He had offended Thor and he watched him leave, heading back to the palace.

Odin might be blind but Thor’s reaction was strong for someone who showed disinterest in most things around him. It didn’t take a scholar to know why he was so upset.

And though Odin had his suspicions he had never said nor judged his son.

But he prayed that Thor got sense enough not to give his heart to a woman already married to someone else.

***

The ball was grand and it was held in the cooler part of Asgard, mostly because they had lots of guests and didn’t wish to add the cost of cooling the house they had taken for rent.

Gavel was extravagant and rich – on Vanahiem. Here, the currency far exceeded the one he was used to and he chose financial convenience while keeping his wife by his side.

They were in the main hall when the guests arrived and they greeted everyone according to their station.

Because the King and his sons and mother were the guests of honor, they were the only ones who were allowed high, magnificent chairs. The other guests made do by dancing or leaning against the walls to help their aching feet.

There were drinks, small snacks and other food items were given to guests, served by men and women who floated about the large hall floor, armed with hot and cool beverages and delicious one bite snacks.

The wait for Lord Gavel to go through was excruciating, but more so for the woman beside him.

In a stunning blue and green gown, Lady Freya looked like a queen in her own right. Her dark hair was done up, her eyes were lined well and she looked exotic. Every man who wasn’t tied down marvelled at her and every man who was, looked upon Gavel with envy.

Freya was truly a sight to behold, a gem within the hall.

It was no wonder Gavel wanted to show her off.

Her beauty was not one to hide.

Her back was straight, her head high and it became higher still when the trumpets sounded, announcing the arrival of the royal family.

Every single guest straightened and stood in respect, their eyes focused on the double doors right before them as they opened and showed them the family.

Elder Queen Bestla was dressed in a stunning grey dress that flared at the waist. Her neck was adorned with jewels many were envious off and her shawl was more expensive than they imagined. Her eyes held mirth and a hint of arrogance that hadn’t been washed away in all her time as a queen.

Behind her, Odin walked in. the King’s crown rested upon his head and more than one lady eyed him, ready to seek his attention. It was no secret that the King was pining after his late wife and he was lonely. With the right acts one of them could get to become the most powerful woman in all the realms. His silver, gold brushed hair was combed back and groomed to perfection as he walked in tall and proud. His eye surveyed the hall, looking to those he could talk to and ignoring those who he didn’t think were worthy of his attention.

His red cape was strong on his shoulders and he walked in with all the arrogance his mother tried to hide.

His boots clicked on the polished marble floor as he came to loop his mother’s arm around his own and walk further into the room.

Behind them were the princes, both of them dressed to their best and looking extremely fashionable. And it was these two that every mother and maiden wanted to know better. An engagement with the prince would be dream of every young lady present.

Prince Thor had arrived in is ceremonial garbs, his crown upon his head. It was a gold band with two wings above his ears, fashioned of peal and gold. His coat was pure white with faded gold patterns on it, not too gaudy and nothing too common. His cape was blood red and his boots were expensive. He didn’t look at anyone other than the Lord and Lady hosts, walking ahead with the air of a true prince.

Prince Balder’s crown was silver, adorned with sapphire and diamonds, matching his eyes perfectly. His clothes were a muted shade of blue and his cape was pristine white. He was every bit the picture of purity as he walked on, smiling to everyone who saw him.

As they entered, silence fell among the people, broken only by the soft greetings of those they passed. Their presence much revered and many were waiting for the family to sit down before they approached and went ahead with their plans.

As their stations dictated, the King and Elder Queen sat side by side and the princes beside them. Thor sat on Odin’s right, Balder on Bestla’s left. There was silence as their hosts hovered over them. Gavel talked to Odin most ardently and Freya avoided looking at Thor. She bowed to him without raising her eyes and Odin saw his son’s hand twitch, as though yearning for his hammer.

It was a difficult outing for Thor since this was the first time he had come out in society after the loss of his Mjolnir. He usually found a way to be absent from these gatherings. It was bound to be a trying night for him since everyone would avoid talking about Mjolnir to the point that even without discussing it, it would be on everyone’s minds.

And that humiliation would take on the pain of learning that his lady was going to the arms of his most devoted friend.

Svadilfari was invited as part of the security that protected the royal family. Freya looked upon him from time to time and a secret danced within their eyes, that Thor was privy to.

He didn’t like it and in the distance, thunder rumbled softly as evidence of his displeasure.

He was still sore with Odin for that slander against Freya so he was silent, so much so that he barely said a word to anyone beside Bestla.

As the minutes passed and their hosts left, permission was given to the guests to approach the royal family and bow to them.

Gavel stood by Odin silently whispering introductions to him so that those who came to meet them bloated in self importance.

“Lord and Lady Fergal, my lord” Gavel smiled, introducing the first of the many who would visit

“Majesties” the Lord smiled, bowing so low, Thor raised his brows at the fact that his wig stayed in place “An honour to meet you, I assure”

The man kissed Bestla on the knuckles and Thor tried not to snicker when she wiped it on the chair, despite the fact that the lord was still there.

Odin tried not to groan at his mother and smiled as the man talked just about everything to him, praising himself and Odin in the same breath.

Afterwards came a family with three daughters, all of them looking at Thor and Balder, hoping to catch their eyes.

Balder was nice enough to look, Thor was not. He was looking at Freya and Svadilfari, who were busy chatting with one another. He tried his best to conceal his jealousy, reminding himself that Svadilfari was his friend, his only friend, in fact, with whom he could be honest.

Freya looked stunning and Thor longed to be with her, to hold her and tell her…

…tell her what? Even Thor didn’t know what he wanted to say.

He knew it would be unwelcome, that whatever he said, she would remind him of their liaison and the fact that Thor himself kept his distance from her.

But the thought of someone else being with her in the same way burned him. He wanted to keep his distance but he wanted her to give herself only to him.

As unreasonable as it was, it was what he wanted.

And because it wasn’t happening, it was making him angry. He wanted her on his own terms, nothing else.

So the longer she talked to Svadilfari, the angrier Thor became and the thunder reacted, slowly growling louder and louder.

It was a persistent warning to anyone who knew him and he knew Freya was wary of him. It was why she hadn’t come near or spoken to him.

She was being the perfect host, after all.

Thor waited, he didn’t want to cause a scene and smiled as another man came to meet them.

“My King and Princes” Gavel smiled at him “Meet one of the most regarded man in Alfhiem and Jotunhiem.”

Thor raised his eyes and set them upon someone he had only heard of from time to time.

His silver hair glinted in the light, his pale eyes studied each family member before he bowed before them.

“Taneleer Tivan” Gavel said “A man who has done me many favours in my long life”

“You exaggerate” Taneleer purred, stepping firth and kissing the backs of Bestla, then Odin’s hands “I am nothing to compared to the Royal Asgard family”

“Lord Tivan” Odin looked at him “Your name sounds familiar but your profession escapes me”

“I am a dealer, a merchant and a collector” Tivan spoke smoothly

“A dealer?” Odin smiled “What do you deal in, then?”

“Dreams” Tiven smiled “I sell men and women the dreams they wish to have.”

Thor narrowed his eyes at him, the reptilian looking thing. He knew exactly what this man dealt in.

He was the maker of the finest prostitutes in all the realm. He was here because he was paid to be, nothing else. He lived and breathed money, he needed nothing else and would fall to any low to get it.

There were rumours that Gavel filled his harem with the prostitutes he bought from this man. He used them as he saw fit then set them free.  What remained of their states of mind after was no secret.

They were hollow shells, beautiful but empty and though Thor longed to step on him, he didn’t bother him enough to actually do it. He merely ignored him as the man smiled and simpered before Odin.

Besides, he was in another realm, never in Asgard and if they benefitted from him then it was their problem.

Thor sighed heavily and rested his elbow on the arm of the chair, propping his head on a thumb and forefinger.

Faintly, he could make out the conversation Taneleer and Odin were having. His father was disgusted and Taneleer was eager.

“I will give you my card” Taneleer smiled at Odin and produced from his gaudy clothes a small card with his information written upon it “should you ever require something from me, I assure you I will have it”

Odin beamed at him and took the card, promptly shoving it at Thor, not wanting to touch it for long.

“I will keep it in mind”

Thor made a face and idly pocketed the offending thing, looking at Taneleer, who smiled first at Odin, then at Thor.

“Till you have use of me then” Taneleer bowed and stepped back

Both him and Gavel quickly retreated, the Lord taking Taneleer to the doors himself to escort him wherever he wanted. The man had been eager to show this man off to Odin for his own benefit but it remained to be seen if it actually worked.

Thor could tell them right now that it didn’t, because Odin wiped his hand much like the way Bestla had and Balder smiled when his grand mother handed her son a handkerchief to help him.

“Rarely have I felt the need to wash my hands so” Odin whispered “That creature was digusting. Why Gavel brought him here was beyond me”

Bestla snorted and looked at her son “Are you being serious? Everyone knows why he was here, Odin, must you be so blind? I raised a son not an idiot”

Odin looked to her and she raised her brows “He was offering you his prostitute men and women, dear, for your sex life is non existent”

“Mother!” Odin yelped, going red in the face.

Thor turned his head aside to hide the first smile that graced his lips and Balder mentioned a servant to come forth and took the champagne he offered, drinking it faster than anyone had ever seen.

“That is no one’s business” Odin hissed at her “but my own. If he came here for that then he is a fool, much like anyone else who is eyeing me”

“You mean the whole room?” Bestla said “Darling, every woman young and old is after you. I say go in the back for a quick one then come back, it will shut everyone up”

“Norns help me” Odin groaned

Thor was concealing his laughter and Balder downed another drink.

“Norns won’t do what a warm…”

“Don’t say it!” Odin pleaded, loud enough to have a few people stare

Balder took another drink and Thor stood, ready to aid his father.

“Grandmother, you have had your fun, come on” he held out a hand for her and smiled “Let us set an example for our inferiors and start the dances. Then perhaps they can stop staring at us”     

Bestla pouted “I like the staring, it makes me feel important”

“You are already important” Thor smiled “You get to have the first dance with me”

Bestla gave him a dry glare before she took his hand and stood

“I’ll step on your feet” she threatened “Take that arrogance out from you”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less” Thor led her down the dais, taking her to the dance floor.

Everyone before them parted and gave them space and the musicians hurried to get started ahead of time.

“I will lean back so you fall”

“I will hold you up, worry not, my lovely grand mother” Thor replied easily to her retort

He took her in his arms and she looked up at him

“I will make you look like a fool”

“And I will take it with all the grace I have in me” Thor smiled, cocked his head to the side as he held her hand lightly in his own

“Ass”

“Nag” Thor replied lovingly

The music started and Thor moved, taking his delightfully threatening grandmother in a dance where she shocked everyone with her grace and fluidity.

Because she was plump and eccentric, many had thought Bestla ungraceful when she wed Bor. But the truth was that she held twice the grace of any woman in this room and she showed it, marking herself as a royal in an instant.

Thor was proud of her and they twirled and spun to the music, both of them smiling – and threatening – as they glided across the floors.

Thor’s cape flowed behind them and Odin smiled at how well his mother and son worked together to start the dancing. Halfway through their dance, the others walked on and soon half the guests were enjoying themselves as they danced.

His eyes went over their heads, idly looking at the decorations as he felt Balder excuse himself and leave to dance with another maiden.

She would swoon for sure, Odin told himself.

He sat there, alone, watching the guests and wondered what would happen if he did something scandalous. Dancing by himself after getting drunk could do it but he lacked the conviction to go through it, honestly.

So he sat there, running his eyes over the people before him, noting their fashions, their hair and the other things Eyvindr would no doubt ask about.

And who was he to let down his valet?

Odin looked upon Thor as the man spun Bestla once more and his gaze fell behind him.

The King’s breath caught in his throat and he felt something stop his heart. He felt his pulse everywhere, even the tips of his fingers and he was sure his eye widened when he saw …

When he saw her…

Dressed in a stunning blue and silver gown, her hair was pale auburn and cascaded down her back while every other lady had hers pinned up. Her cape flowed around her, her hands were gesturing as she argued a point with someone else, someone who looked scared as she talked, her wisdom in her eyes and her voice sweet, reaching even Odin as he sat there.

Odin needed to know her  

He felt the need to know her.

But his body stayed still, unable to move as he stared, unable to do anything that would help him get closer to her. His heart pounded, still and he wanted her to look at him, turn those eyes towards him for just one moment so he could memorise her.

Gods above, she was beautiful and Odin sighed heavily before he looked aside, closing his eye and clenching his fist.

Gaia came to mind, his stunning, beautiful wife, she came to his mind and he felt it hurt his chest.

When he opened his eye, he felt a tear form within and he stood abruptly, moving past the men and women around their seating, so he could go and find some privacy elsewhere.

Thor saw his father depart and frowned at his grandmother “Where is he off to?”

Bestla, who was in her third dance with Thor, followed the Crown Prince’s gaze “Maybe he went for a quick one, like I said”

Thor snorted “You are so strange”

“Thank you, my love” Bestla said, then stepped away “I will see to him, you go dance with that girl, she’s been looking at you for a long time”

She pat Thor on the arm and turned to leave him, going to where her on had vanished to.

She knew what had happened, only one thing made him stride away like that and her heart hurt because she couldn’t fix it.

Odin hadn’t gone far, she was thankful to note and she spotted him leaning on the bannister of a small balcony, overlooking the cool grounds. His arms were crossed and he leaned forward a little, looking at the skies, as though he longed to be up there himself.

It tore at Bestla, how badly her son was hurt and she came up beside him, carefully putting an arm around his waist. He was much taller than her but her shoulder gave him the comfort he needed.

She cradled his head when he set it upon her shoulder and sighed softly.

“I miss her so much” Odin told Bestla “It’s like there is a hole in my chest, I cannot fill. It hurts”

“I know, my love” Bestla stroked his hair “it becomes hard to breathe, too. especially when you try and sleep at night”

Odin closed his eye and a tear slipped down his cheek he sighed softly “How did you overcome it?”

Bestla smiled sadly “I didn’t.”

She rubbed his arm when he lifted his head to look at her

“I feel it, every day since your father passed” she told him “Every day I see my life if he hadn’t gone. It doesn’t leave, Odin, the pain stays. The trick is to keep moving ahead despite the crying and grieving and I think you are doing that well”

She pulled him back and kissed his head, brushing his hair back as he straightened.

“My boy” she beamed “I am so proud of you. For being king, for living every single day as the best father there ever was. I am so proud”

Odin smiled and turned, stroking his mother’s cheek before he wrapped his arms around her tiny frame and embraced her. Rubbing his face against her shoulder, he inhaled and breathed out, looking at the gardens below.

“I don’t know how much longer I can take this” he whispered

“You don’t have to know” Bestla replied “Live it day by day, remember her but don’t forget yourself. My darling, all of us love you and we will be here for you no matter what. We are here for you, day and night and though we cannot fill the crevice within your heart, we will help you feel it less”

Odin smiled sadly and cradled her head in his hand “When did you get so nice?”

Bestla snorted “Balder might be rubbing off on me”

“A fine change in you, then” Odin mumbled

Bestla smacked the back of his head and they straightened, looking at each other.

“Did I tell you that you look beautiful tonight?” Odin asked

“You look clean, that is all I can say” Bestla said dryly “Eyvindr did a good job”

Odin laughed and brought her hand to his lips to kiss “Come, dance with me now. I will teach you the ways of elegant dancing”

BEstla scoffed “I thought you never danced”

“I’ll make an exception for the lady if she allows”

Bestla narrowed her eyes at him “If you step on my foot I will beat you”

But she looped her arm through his nonetheless and the two of them headed to the hall again so they could join the other couples.

“I wouldn’t dream of it” Odin smiled as her, nodding to the servants who opened the door and let them in.

***

There was a feast laden behind him but he didn’t care. The food was made by the best, it smelled heavenly and even Odin, who tended not to indulge himself when it came to dinner at other people’s houses, couldn’t quite stop himself from taking more.

There were rolls and meat and cheese and vegetables, fruits and sauces and drinks of all kind being served at the huge table, easily seating the guests. Servers stood behind each seat, ready and willing to serve the expensive guests.

Gavel had truly intended on pleasing his guests and showed off the hosting talents of his wife. Lady Freya took all the compliments in good grace and ensured that the wine flowed easily and the food remained hot.

Odin sat at the head of the table with his family on either side as they started, instigating the other guests to begin their meal as well.

Thor, for all his mood and jealousy, sound it hard to resist having a little. He was hungry after all, but the envy within him was making it difficult to actually enjoy it.

Freya sat beside Balder, the two of them talking animatedly and she had yet to look at him.

It burned Thor, it truly did and when he could take no more, he stood up and excused himself, going in search of some privacy.

His feet stomped on the marble floor and he startled more than a few maids as he strode down the hall, asking for the way to the gardens.

They were obliging enough, so soon Thor was in the blessed night air, breathing it deeply to calm himself.

His hand clenched and he closed his bright blue eyes, telling himself the one thing over and over.

“It was a fling” he muttered “Get over yourself”

His rumbling voice didn’t go past his lips as he stood there and he exhaled, saying it again, twice for good measure.

It didn’t help much but he knew he had to go back and face her. All he really wanted to do, though, was go home and evaluate why he was growing so jealous all of a sudden, why was he so desirous of her.

He was the one who didn’t want anything to happen, nothing other than sex, he was the one who wanted the distance.

Why should he care who she was with?

It was her life, he had no say in it. Whatever he was feeling would fade away and he would be well again.

That was all.

A footstep sounded behind him and Thor turned, his lips tightening when he saw the last person he wanted to look at standing there.

Svadilfari’s grey eyes looked at his friend and he sighed. His gaze held the wisdom it always did and he didn’t even try to pretend he didn’t know what this was about.

“It’s true then?” Svadilfari asked softly “I had heard rumours, mostly insignificant servant talk, but they were right. Were they not?”

Thor swallowed and exhaled to calm himself “Possibly. Though why you should care, I know not”

Svadilfari laughed lightly “You think me so heartless? You think I am inclined to hurt my truest friend?”

Tor shrugged and looked ahead, making Svadilfari sigh loudly.

“Norns, you are a stubborn one” he said, coming to stand by him. He looked at Thor and exhaled “I wouldn’t do you the injustice, Thor. There was a time, before you became involved with her but it did not last. The servants comment only on what they saw years ago, I assure you”

“What about the rumours I hear from my father, are those lies, too?” Thor asked without looking at him

“Misinformation” Svadilfari was quick to tell him “I know you are with her, I know you care about her and what’s more, I know she cares for you too, perhaps more than she should”

Thor turned to him then and Svadilfari exhaled.

“She told me to tell you to meet her in the study” Svadilfari told Thor “Clearly, she has much she wants to say to you”

“I have nothing to say to her” Thor told Svadilfari abruptly “She pities me, thinking me a boy hurt by what is happening”

Svadilfari chuckled “Well, in her defence, she isn’t that wrong. You do behave like one when you are jealous”

“I am not jealous” Thor told him calmly “I just…”

“Mope for no reason at all and think the worst of your old friend?” Svadilfari smiled

Thor went silent and Svadilfari pointed to the home behind them. He raised his thick brows at him meaningfully.

“Go, Thor” he said “Put this unrest behind you, just talk to her. Trust me, it will end well for you”

Once more the Crowned Prince exhaled and for a second Svadilfari was unsure of whether he would go or not.

But after a moment, Thor turned and headed to the manor behind them, both willing and unwilling at the same time.

***

The doors banged somewhere outside and on his pedestal, laying half asleep and trembling in the cold, cursed room, Loki lifted his head.

He didn’t know how long he had been asleep, when he dozed off or how long it had been.

From the exhaustion in his neck and head, it seemed like barely a moment, but from his stiff joints, it felt like forever.

His head was spinning and his stomach was growling, desperate for food.

They had given him the barest when he was punished before, now he got nothing and it was slowly tearing him apart.

He was hungry, he was thirsty and he had no idea when he would be fed or whether he would be starved to death.

It could be the second, Loki didn’t want it to be, but he felt that it could.

Taneleer was a hard man, he hadn’t come to Loki ever since he was thrown in here. He isolated him first from those he was with, then everyone. He stayed in the darkness day in and day out, wondering when he would be let out or if this was going to be his final resting place.

Taneleer had a plan for him, no doubt, there was something nasty planned for him to make him obedient.

Loki would fight it, he would never stop fighting, but he would have a better chance once he knew what he was going to fight against.

His stomach rumbled loudly, growling and he winced a little in pain as he sat up as much as he dared, his eyes focused on the dim slit of light that signalled a door. Someone was moving on the other side and the far away clicking told Loki that they were coming.

His eyes widened with every step that was taken closer to the door and by the time they stopped right outside, his heart was pounding in his chest so hard he was having trouble breathing.

Loki waited, trying not to make a sound as Taneleer stood on the other side.

A sigh sounded from the other side and a second after that, howling, screeching noises filled the room, enunciated by bright blinding lights that had Loki covering his ears and cowering.

The noises clashed and boomed and screamed above him, deafening to the point where it made Loki’s eyes water as he shut them, the lights so bright that he could see red, not black, when he shut his eyes.

The screaming, screeching, howling and shrieking were coming from everywhere, high pitched, terrifying and they engulfed him, chasing all rational thought and logic from his head.

It hurt his head, shook his mind and Loki screamed at it to stop, screamed in fear, but his voice was drowned.

Colours and lights flashed before him and he curled up, seeking the protection he found there but even that was denied. There was no solace, the screaming and howling was so fantastic that he couldn’t breathe, he was covered by it, he was sure he would go mad if it didn’t stop soon.

He had his ears covered but it was no use, it was terrifyingly emphatic, loud deafening screams and howls and moans that changed, never letting him get used to it, torturing him in the most exquisite way possible.

Loki thought he was going to be sick, he screamed at  it to go away, to stop, he tried to prevent it from harming him but who was he?

A starved, hungry, lonely Jotun left here where no one would get him?

It made it hard to think as he lay beneath the screams and the howls, the torturous magic he was under.

It was so loud it shook the door Taneleer was standing by. He didn’t hear a thing but when he raised a hand to touch the wood, it was vibrating.

He hadn’t used this room in a very long time and he was rather glad that he got to. Loki had once more proved himself to be someone who could withstand even hunger and solitude.

But he couldn’t stand against torture he couldn’t see.

He couldn’t escape this and Taneleer let it go on, turning and getting ready to get into bed and sleep, where he was sure he would sleep like a babe.

***

The door to the study opened and Freya turned, her beautiful eyes going hopeful, then surprised when she saw Thor walk in.

The man looked stunning, the crown looked like it belonged on his head and she longed to run her fingers through his hair, kiss his lips, hold him close…

But she knew that it might not happen, both from the expression on his face and the way he had been the entire night.

Had she known that this would happen in her future, she would never have chosen Svadilfari. The man was good to her but Thor was someone she was quickly starting to need. He was attentive to her in ways Svadilfari and her husband were not. She wanted Thor more than anyone she has known but his face, his eyes and his form always repelled her. It always made her feel inferior and even now she lowered her gaze when he closed the door and locked it behind him.

“I – I didn’t think you would come” she said by way of starting a conversation “You didn’t seem inclined to”

Thor hummed, that rumbling voice of his always made her weak at the knees.

“You called me here for a purpose” Thor stopped a little ways from her after he walked in and crossed his arms “State it”

Oh, that arrogance, that command, it came from a spoiled rotten, angry prince.

Freya wanted to shake him but held her tongue – as best she could.

“If you will continue to talk to be like I am your subordinate then you are better off leaving” she snapped before she could help herself.

She expected Thor to be chastised, to feel ashamed but she ended up, staring in shock as he turned smartly on his heel and headed right back to the door.

For a few seconds she thought he was going to turn but when he opened the door, she held out a hand.

“Wait!” she called after him, her stance and pride dropping “Please, just a moment”

Thor felt no regret, instead he felt like she knew where she belonged with him – in her place.

He turned and looked at her, his eyes narrowed, slowly closing the door as he faced her.

“Is it true?” he asked softly “What they say…is it true that before me you were with… with him?”

Freya’s lips tightened and she thought carefully before answering.

“Yes, but …”

“And are you still with him?” Thor cut in “Is there a part of you that wants to be with him?”

“No” Freya replied “he was a part of my life, a chapter long forgotten. Had I known I would be with you, I would never have done it. Do not think I would cheat, Thor”

“Well, you do it so perfectly to your husband, pardon me for thinking you can do it to me, too” Thor said.

Shame coloured her beautiful features and Freya grit her teeth.

“You know what that is about” she hissed “Why things are the way they are”

“Aye, I know” Thor started towards her “Money, desperation, a family in need of financial help and a beautiful daughter ripe for the picking…”

He stopped before her and narrowed his eyes just a little.

“But you chose me, you left anyone else in your past or your future other than your husband” Thor told her “You left them for me and I left mine own for you. As exclusive as we can be, the both of us are. Then I find myself trusting you and this happens. Why didn’t you tell me?”

She didn’t cower, Freya was not one to and Thor was drawn to that. She looked him right in the eye.

“I didn’t tell you because you act like this” she said “You act like I am yours when you refuse everything above the physical. Do not think me so deprived Thor, that I will take this for long. You might be the best and you might have a place in my heart but you are not irreplaceable. Svadilfari was a long time ago, before he was your friend. Leave it at that and drop this petty jealousy. It won’t be difficult to move on from you, I have done far worse”

His eyes looked into hers for a while before he smiled softly “I bet you have”

Freya didn’t share his humour and Thor liked that.

“I bet you have gone through every hell I can come up with and still stand proud as you are today” he smirked “I like that about you”

He raised a hand to touch her cheek and she slapped it down.

“Mock me as much as you want” she said “I have explained what I wanted to and said what I wanted to. Now it is up to you. But know that if you want to continue this you will show me more respect than you have before or you will walk off with a little less than you had when you came to me”

With that she pushed past him and stormed to the door, yanking it open and leaving, her shoes clacking on the polished marble outside.

Thor smirked, watching her go before he chuckled and ran a hand through his hair.

She had a fire within her that Thor had stoked and to be honest he preferred this over the pliant, slightly clingy woman she could become.

Rubbed his jaw, Thor turned and followed her out, heading to the halls just like her. As he passed the door leading outside, he saw Svadilfari enter and gave him a small smile and a nod to let him know that aye, now that things were going his way, Thor was fine.

Svaildfari said nothing, he went on his own way, checking for security and ensuring that there was nothing bad happening around the palace.

Somehow, tonight, it was easier to let Thor be and he was sure his friend felt the same.

***

Over the next week, Thor found himself busy. He was taking that stupid exam preparation harder than he had ever thought and he still lacked.

Asgard was slowly becoming stifling but it was clear that Odin wanted him here, at least until the end of the year. The thought was enough to kill him and he groaned in despair as he sat in an open part of the library, watching his brother grade his trial examination.

Svadilfari was there, too, at his most casual, leaning back against a large bookcase. His large arms were crossed over his chest, shown off in an easy tunic. His long hair was clipped to the sides and that was about it. There was no training for him today, instead, he was spending his time clicking his tongue and instructing Balder to mark Thor carefully.

“You are being too lenient” Svadilfari commented as Balder made another note “Know that the Council will be looking for ways to chop off his marks”

“Aye, but there is already so little to work with” Balder replied

Thor growled at them both, which only seemed to delight them.

“He spelled that wrong” Svadilfari muttered

Balder snorted and Thor saw him make an offending slash across the word.

“I am amazed you two find this so entertaining” Thor rumbled, sitting back in his chair, legs stretched and placed on the one before him “Don’t you have something else to do?”

“Father entrusted me with this” Balder replied, making another note “I would rather do this than anything else”

“You just enjoy the thrill of seeing me down” Thor said, only half joking

“Aye, to fulfil the gaping black hole left in my chest when Father named you heir” Balder droned “Boo hoo, see me cry, Thor”

Svadilfari chuckled, but shut up when Thor glowered at him.

“You missed a question”

“Ah, thank you, Svadilfari” Balder smiled, once more going through these

Thor hummed and sat back a moment, looking at Balder. His brother was still unmoved by his joke so he tried again.

“How is it that you are qualified for this exam and I am not?” he asked, is tone touching insolence “What if you are as wrong as me?”

“I am not” Balder stated “Because I actually listened to our teachers when we studied, Thor. That and the fact that I actually go sit in the Council Chambers could be the secret”

Once more, Thor hummed, then looked at the test.

“How much longer will this take?” he asked

“An hour” Balder said “You are free to go, I will find you and tell you the results later on”

Thor pushed the chair his feet were on and toppled it then all but shot off his seat, harder than he usually did, turned and headed off without looking back.

Balder made no comment but Svadilfari knew that Thor was just irritated. He always was too easily pushed to a limit.

His moods were unreliable, so when he was angered, it was better to leave him be. He walked to the chair that lay abused beside Balder and picked it up to put it to rights.

“Quite a temper he has” Svadilfari said

“Ego, nothing else” Balder told him “It hurts his pride that someone knows more than him. Instead of learning more it is just easier to go out and hit things”

Svadilfari chuckled “As is the way of the Asgardian warrior.”

He went to sit in Thor’s vacated seat and pulled the checked papers of the test over.

“Alright then, let’s see how he’s done”

“He has done as well as you would expect” Balder told him “When he is off exploring the realms and avoiding spending time here, where he should learn to be king, he knows nothing. I know that he will fail this exam and that the Council will give Father another year to rule. As much as I love Father as King, he needs a break from the constant tension and Thor is not giving him that”

“So you are punishing him” Svadilfari said

“I am showing him the reality” Balder said “He is the one who should be King and must understand rule as well as he can. These results are not worth anything. Until he learns he had to stay here”

“Ah” Svadilfari beamed in understanding “You are the one who made Odin make him stay are you not?”

Balder spared him a single glance then went back to his papers “If I did, I have done no wrong. He needs to learn”

“And I think he will” Svadilfari let the papers go and leaned back, his dark tunic stretched across his big chest “With  you as his teacher”

“A position I will no longer hold, I fear” Balder told him “Thor doesn’t tolerate someone he thinks below him in a position of power. Trust me when I say that I will soon be replaced by a ninny who loves to praise him”

Svadilfari let out a contemplative hum then smiled “Unless…”

Balder looked at him as his voice tapered off, brow raised “Unless what?”

“Unless we give him a teacher even harder than you” Svadilfari said “Someone who will make him regret dismissing you”

It made Balder tilt his head “Go on…”

“I have the perfect teacher in mind if you would” Svadilfari said

When he told Balder who, it made the prince beam.

He was beaming when he graded his paper and gave him a large FAILED on top, with helpful remarks and comments. He was beaming when Thor came back from his angry walk and demanded he have someone else check it because he called it biased. He was beaming when the matter was taken to Odin and he was especially beaming when Thor was guided to his new teacher the very next day.

Thor, who was rather pleased at having gotten rid of his brother, felt his mouth drop when he entered the library and saw Bestla sitting there.

And not only was she sitting there, she had a one foot steel ruler in her hand, which she smacked upon her palm the moment Thor entered.

“Sit” she ordered “Now you will learn and you will learn properly”

Thor turned to Balder, who was the one who guided him and the younger prince waved his fingers at him.

“Good luck” Balder sang, then turned and all but skipped back to enjoy his free time.

He wouldn’t waste it on Thor any more.

And Thor seethed at the thought of Balder playing him like this, leaving him powerless. He hated the feeling but he straightened his back and went to sit with his grandmother as the Elder Queen took her place.

“Now” Bestla said, reaching for the scrolls placed before her “Today we study the Council Chamber positions. We will learn who sits on what chair and what they are ruling over, aye?”

There was a bag beside her and Thor frowned when she reached into it and pulled out a large tin of candied corn. She unscrewed the lid and put it before him, the warm scent making his mouth water.

Candied corn was one of Thor’s favourite things to have and the man looked at her for answers.

“You get a question right, you have a piece” she said “You get one wrong, I smack you with my ruler, deal?”

And all apprehension and hate fled from Thor then, realizing that Balder thought Bestla would be harsh. He smiled at her and inclined his head in respect.

“Yes, my Queen” he said

“Good” Bestla opened the scrolls “Now we start at the bottom and work our way to the top.”

“That is the best way” Thor said

“Not always but alright”

Thor felt his face heat up and refused to comment, crossing his elbows on the table instead to listen to every word his grandmother spoke.

She explained it to Thor in a way that made him actually understand it. He was sure Balder didn’t have the patience to deal with him and that his brother resented him for being away so much.

Bestla didn’t show him anything other than patience and it warmed his heart. He felt that she was unbiased in her love, no matter what. Even if she did shoot him in the leg with a dart, today she was showing him how much she cared.

“The lowest ranking members sit at the top” Bestla told him “Not because we want them to feel important but because it becomes harder for them to hear what the other more senior members are saying. See, the laws of each ring in the Council Chambers are different, Thor. Those at the top are interested only in the laws that circle them, the lower they go, the more politics are involved until ultimately they reach the centre where Head and the King decide.”

“I know that” Thor said “I learned this before.”

“I am aware but I am teaching you something else, too, dear” Bestla said, pulling from the scrolls an illustration of the Council Chambers.

Each ring had a table at one point, Thor knew that as well, because this was where the head of that ring sat.

“What do you see?” Bestla asked

“Uh…” Thor frowned and pulled it closer “tables?”

Bestla chuckled “Yes, darling, but where are they positioned?”

That made Thor concentrate and it took him a moment to see something similar in all the tables.

“All of them are placed beside ducts” he pointed out “Why?”

“I will show you” Bestla said, extracting another illustration “These are the plans of the Council Chambers”

She placed it before Thor and he felt his eyes grow large.

Each air duct was large enough for a grown man to sit in and circled all the way beneath each circle till it reached the floors. Each ring was hollow, designed to take the weight of everyone sitting and possibly, the weight of the people sitting in the air ducts, listening.

“This will be asked in the examination?” Thor asked “How the Council cheats?”

“Examinations are only a percentage of what you learn through books, Thor” Bestla cooed “This is the other percentage, the part that even Odin got wrong when he took his exam”

After that, the need to know more was vastly improved in Thor and he sat there for three hours, learning everything he could about the Council Chambers.

He got smacked twice but finished the candied corn at the end and left with his heart lighter than it had been when he started.

His steps were free and as the sun set over Asgard he made his way to the stables, whistling as he prepared to pull out his horse and go to the bi frost.

T’was time, he thought, to visit the fair Lady Freya. The woman was possibly waiting and if Thor was correct in his thinking, her husband was enjoying the wares of Asgard. He had heard the bi frost light up when he was studying, so he was sure the man was here. Gavel was disinterested in Freya when she made it clear he was not a good lover. He would rather pay women to praise him in bed than to be with one who was truthful.

Thor had been told by many that she spent her nights reading and practicing her archery. She had made a few friends here, a few ladies that were here from Vanahiem with her. Perhaps, if Thor was persuasive enough, Freya would let one of them join them in bed. Thor was up for that kind of sport.

He was humming to himself, high in candied corn and the fact that Balder’s game had been turned around on his pretentious little head. Thor crossed the halls quickly enough, going to the stables through the gardens surrounding the west side of the palace.

This was his mother’s favourite spot to sit and read in. Horses were her favourite thing to watch so Odin had moved the entire stables here, to the west side of the palace, their fences facing this side. Because it was getting dark, the horses were being settled down for the night in the stables. There was no animal running about behind the fences as they did in the morning, so Thor whistled to himself as he went in.

His mare was in a large stall and she whined when she saw him, slowly coming to the gates to get her pets.

“There’s my girl” Thor cooed at her, rubbing her muzzle “How are you, darling?”

She snorted and bit his sleeve, then his hair, looking for treats.

Thor laughed softly and looked around for the bag of oats always set for the horses. It was filled every morning, there were bound to be some for his steed.

The prince spotted the bag and headed to it the moment hurried footsteps followed the ones he’d left behind and Thor looked up in time to see someone he’d long given up on.

“Fandral?” Thor gaped at him “My gods, man, what happened to you?”

Fandral was panting, leaning on the door, looking like he’d run all the way here. He was in his furs, in this heat, but the worst was the blood on his front, his hair and even his face.

“What happened!?” Thor gasped, going to steady him “What are you doing here? You need a healer!”

“I’m fine…” Fandral panted, pushing his cloak off to show his clothes, which were free of blood “But I fear I bring bad news”

Thor felt his heart clench and frowned at him “Loki?”

Fandral nodded “Aye, I went and did as you asked me to”

Thor held his breath, waiting for the worst news he could get. However, after thinking that Fandral was mortally wounded, he was glad to hear any news he said, so long as the man was safe.

“He’s gone” Fandral said “And when we went to his home…”

“We?” Thor frowned “Who’s we?”

“I am”

Thor turned and raised his brows at a blonde woman, who looked much like Fandral, blood on her face, her hair and her clothes.

“Lady Amora” she introduced herself “And I come bearing bad news, my Prince”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. Life is being horrible to me and when that happens, I forget what I had planned for the chapter. Please let me know what you think AND if I made mistakes. Thank you


	5. Meetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor and Loki finally meet

The screaming stopped.

The door stopped vibrating and Taneleer smiled when he heard a loud, sobbing gasp from within. It was music to his ears and he was tempted to turn that torture on again. Just for a minute, just to teach Loki his place.

But stars, did he want to see his handiwork, too.

His hand trembled as he opened the door, his heart was pounding in his chest as he stepped in. The pedestal was right there, a few feet away from him and the space between was hollow, an endless drop, around it. Loki would have no place to go other than his death and even the torture wasn’t enough to have him attempt.

Good, it meant he still had spirit in him.

Taneleer’s feet rested on thin air, nothing for him to walk on and it looked like he would fall, but that didn’t happen, Loki wasn’t lucky enough to see him drop to his death, he instead watched, when he could get part the throbbing pain in his skull, his eyes red and blood shot, his hearing possibly damaged forever, as the floor formed for the monster, leading him right to where Loki lay.

He was shaking, Taneleer was proud to notice and he felt his heart soar when Loki recoiled, trying to move away from him. He couldn’t get far, Taneleer was sure and slowly came to sit by his head.

Loki was starved, tortured and hurt.

There were no marks on him but stars, the boy was in pain. He was agonized.

Loki’s head was heavy, his eyes were rimmed red, swollen and filled with tears as they tried to fix themselves after the bright lights tormented him so. There was ringing in his ears, left in the aftermath of the screaming, his throat was sore and hurt, his lips were dry.

He was truly tortured. But he hissed, his lips moving in curses when Taneleer came closer and closer with each step, his rich clothes too bright for Loki, his voice not reaching his ears as he lay deafened, trying to look at him, but every time he blinked, all he saw were remnants of the lights flashing yet again.

“Hush, pretty Jotun” Taneleer beamed, reaching over to touch his skin

Loki flinched and turned his head away when Taneleer touched his shoulder. His heart was pounding in his chest when his fingers slowly lowered the sleeve of his shirt and revealed his skin.

“It pains me to see you like this” Taneleer cooed “hurting and all alone…but you give me no choice…”

He bent down and Loki froze when he felt his lips on his shoulder. He bucked, looking at him, his eyes wide and blind, when Taneleer placed a hand on his chest and held him down.

“Easy, boy, easy…” Taneleer cooed, looking into his scared, unseeing eyes “I will merely help you this time”

“S-Stay away from me” Loki hissed, his voice raspy and broken.

He couldn’t really hear himself right now, the screaming and howling was still present in his mind. He was unsure if this was even real or if he had died and gone to hell. He blinked and though he saw Taneleer, once more the blinding effects of the lights left him unable to properly focus.

It was hell, surely, it was hell. He was not tortured for hours, left in a room without his senses, left here, now, at the mercy of this monster who was holding him down, looking into his eyes as his hands…

“Master Taneleer”

Loki jumped, shocked, when Taneleer stopped, his silver eyes looking into Loki’s his expression shocked, as though his own actions surprised him.

For a second, neither of them knew what was happening, then Loki flinched as the man shot to his feet, turned and stormed out.

“Wait…” Loki croaked “Wait…”

He wanted food, he wanted water, he wanted to get out of here, the screaming was going to start again, he was terrified of it. He couldn’t take it anymore.

But he didn’t. Taneleer didn’t stop. He banged the door shut after him and in a fit of rage he couldn’t describe, he turned the screaming and lights on once more. He heard Loki sobbing, screaming, inside but he didn’t care.

He didn’t care about that … that Jotun, not like he had tried. Loki had done something, Loki had been the one who caused him to touch him…to place his lips on his sin like that, Loki had him under a spell.

It was all him.

It was all him!

Nothing else could explain it. It was so sudden and abrupt and unexplainable.

It was out of character for him, Taneleer never felt like this with the children. It was another way for Loki to hurt him, to fight against him.

The Collector clicked his teeth together and went to the door where the servant had called him from. His hand shook as he opened the door and he was sure it was Loki’s doing, too.

“My lord” the servant said “T-The men you sent to kill Loki’s mother…”

Taneleer tensed, his eyes looking the servant in the eye.

“Someone killed them” he said “Someone … from Asgard killed them”

“And the woman?” Taneleer asked “His mother?”

“Someone from Asgard killed my men” Taneleer sighed, rubbing his jaw “There are few from that realm who know me, fewer still who would trifle with me.”

The servant didn’t know what to say and stood there as Taneleer thought, running his fingers through his hair, trying to understand.

“I’ll see what can be done about this” Taneleer told him “You get Loki’s trainer and get him back out. I think he has learned enough for now”

That, and the fact that Taneleer was distracted by him. The loss of his men didn’t even bother him. They had done what he wanted, they had killed Loki’s mother, if they died doing so, it didn’t matter.

The Asgardians didn’t matter.

What mattered, and what he was thinking, about did matter.

He was going down a path with Loki that he had never gone to before. He had never touched any of his children like that, yet when he had seen his pale skin, seen his shoulder, he couldn’t stop himself. He couldn’t stop himself from leaning down and kissing it.

Gods, he wanted to do it again, he was sure of it. He _longed_ for it.

The servant bowed his head at the order and Taneleer was vaguely aware of him going to obey. He knew that his head was on the Jotun.

As the servant left, Taneleer turned and went to the room, going to shut the screaming, howling torture and shut off the lights.

Loki had learned his lesson, he told himself, it was time to get rid of him.

He didn’t go to dinner after that day, though he ordered Loki to get less than the others. He knew the boy was starved and that he needed the food. So he would be denied.

Loki still had a lot to learn.

Taneleer was never sloppy about his work so he left the rest of his training to his trainer and, from what he heard, Loki was behaving.

For now.

He talked back, still, but when they raised their devices, he backed down, going to do as he was asked. He was by no means broken, but he was getting there.

Taneleer checked on everyone, looked everyone in the eye but him. Loki was someone he didn’t want to talk to any more. The boy had something about him that was making it hard for him to think.

He needed to be sent to his owner the way he was.

And as soon as the last shipment of money arrived, Taneleer would do so. As for now, he was content with training him as much as possible.

It didn’t stop him from thinking about Loki, however, Taneleer was chagrined to note.

When he was alone, he thought of him, thought of his eyes, thought of his body. He thought of Loki’s lips, he thought of what Loki could do to him, how he could touch him. His heart raced and his blood heated up when he imagined these things and more than once, he had to give himself a painfully cold shower, just to keep his thoughts away.

He punished himself.

Loki was making Taneleer punish himself.

He longed to punish Loki again but the boy was compliant for now. He listened and he did what was asked of him – albeit without enthusiasm and covered with rage – but he was doing it.

What has instigated this entire thing, though, was still left untouched. Loki hadn’t been dancing, no matter how much the trainers shocked him.

As reports came to Taneleer over the days, he was told that Loki obeyed most of the commands but refused to dance. He didn’t move a foot, a hand, didn’t do as he was asked.

Then came another report that was much direr.

Loki was losing motor control in his hands.

The servants had run to him, screaming in his room and feared that Loki was being attacked. But all they saw was him, glaring and screaming, his hands raised before him as they shook. He couldn’t move his fingers, he couldn’t hold things and it terrified him.

He had screamed himself hoarse that night and though he was given treatment by a healer well paid and trusted, Taneleer got the worst news he could possibly get.

The constant electrocution, increased over the month Loki had been let out of Taneeler’s torture chamber, had done its damage.

Loki was now worth less than he was when he came here.

His hands shook, he dropped things and unless this stopped, he was going to lose the use of his hands permanently.

Taneleer found himself at a crossroads.

He would either lose the money coming to him if he told Loki’s buyer what had happened and end up killing Loki for being so useless, or he could keep him for himself.

With his hands ruined, with nothing for him in the future, Loki would be in need of care, he would need someone to care for him.

He would need a partner for the rest of his life.

A smirk graced his lips and Taneleer decided that he wasn’t as upset as he had been before.

And that perhaps, if he convinced himself, he could get what he was telling himself he couldn’t have.

***

Yet he couldn’t stop himself.

He had tried to, he really had tried, going to the lengths of leaving Jotunhiem once or twice, in search of easy men, willing to give themselves up for a price. He stayed with them, spent a few nights in their arms before he came back but it didn’t help.

The craving to have Loki do what those men did was strong in him and that night, at dinner, he ordered that Loki be given his dinner in his chambers and told that Taneleer would join him.

He dressed better than he usually did, his face confident, his smile in place. He went to check on the other children first and found them all eating their meals in synch.

The dead expressions on their faces, the automatic way they fed themselves made him feel proud of his work and he wished them a good night before he went to see Loki.

He was uncharacteristically giddy as he went there, his sweet, sickly voice humming to himself as the servants told him that dinner had been set with Loki.

The boy was sure to behave, they had said, he had learned his lesson well.

He was scared of light, of loud sounds and they were used as tools to train him. Hell, he even looked at the dance steps for once, though he still refused to get up.

It made Taneleer happier and he headed to Loki, intending on giving him whatever reward he thought fitting tonight.

There were two guards standing by Loki’s room. He nodded to them and they nodded back.

“Take a break” Taneleer beamed at them “Tonight, you can rest”

There was no emotion on the men’s faces, but they walked off, trained as well as the wares, leaving Taneleer alone.

Nay, leaving Taneleer alone with Loki.

The Collector had a few things in mind for his time.

He waited till they were gone before he opened the door and stepped into the room.

Almost to be brained by a _chair_.

Taneleer yelped and ducked in time to have the chair Loki swung at him hit the doorframe instead of his skull like it was meant to. He fell back and looked up in time to have Loki hurl the chair aside and leap over him, running off down the hall.

“Halt!” Taneleer surged to his feet “Loki, stop, you will not get anywhere!”

Loki ignored him and ran, his hair billowing in the wind as he rushed to the doors, the servant’s pathways. He didn’t dare look behind him, he heard Taneleer come closer and closer.

His ears were already ringing and Loki stopped, opening the servant’s door when he reached it and leaping in. He slammed it shut and turned, startling anyone who was inside, then shoving them off as they tried to catch him.

“Stop!” another voice yelled “Someone get him!”

They tried, but Loki was quicker, he saw another door and went through it, ending in a part of the manor he had never been in. It was cold, colder than the outside and he looked around, finding himself standing in a circular room, like the base of a tower, open, cold and hollow.

His breath formed before him like mist and he looked up, finding that he couldn’t see the ceiling past the fog and mist collected above him. Behind him, the servants still yelled, told each other where he had gone and he walked forward, his body shivering.

There was another door across from him and he went there, placing a hand on the cold knob and pushing it down.

It creaked as it was pushed down and he had to hit it with his shoulder to shove the door open. Snow and frost fell, cracking at his feet, before he looked in.

The room was dark, just as cold as the outside and he went in, closing it after him.

There was no sound, no light here and somehow Loki found that comforting.

He stretched his hands before him and felt his way around, touching a few pieces and items of furniture before he came against a wall.

He felt his way around, his hands skidding over the surface to find another door, another way out.

A loud thud and click sounded and Loki blinked, shielding his eyes from the lights that light the room, frowning as he tried to find out ow they turned on.

He spun around and there stood Taneleer, his face angry for the first time in his two years here.

There were two guards with him and Loki felt a nasty, unpleasant feeling in his chest. He saw the furniture around him and picked up a lamp off the nearest table. He held it aloft as he stood there, in a room that looked, for all purpose, a study, clean and spotless.

“Take him to my chambers” Taneleer said “Throw him in that room again”

“No” Loki hissed “You will not touch me…”

His heart was pounding in his chest, his blood rushed through his veins. He knew where he was headed if they caught him and he growled at them, looking like a feral animal.

“I will do whatever I want to you!” Taneleer shouted at him “You have no say, you belong to me!”

He looked to the guards, looked around the room, a study, to see if Loki was close to any escape routes. He luckily wasn’t – the boy had caged himself in.

“I belong to no one!” Loki yelled back, stepping back as the guards came to him “So stay away from me”

He stepped further away, lifting the lamp he had in his hands.

“No” Taneleer nodded to his guards to go get him “I will not”

It was a shamefully short fight, but Loki managed to hit one of the guards, break the lamp over his head before he was caught, apprehended, tied and taken to that room again.

This time, there was no mercy for him,

This time Taneleer had plans for him.

Loki was going to break.

Then Taneleer would decide if he was to keep him or give him to his owner.

***

However, as fate would have it, the Norns had something else planned for Loki, for Taneleer and for someone else, who in this moment, had given himself to their mercy and done the one thing he hadn’t ever thought he would do.

***

The light from the portal closed behind him and Taneleer fixed the lapels of his coat as he walked past, brushing Jotun ice off his shoulders after. His boots were his best, his clothe were his best and his smile was as fake as ever.

He was called here by an Asgardian, one breed he was suddenly having a lot to do with, and told to bring a file of the profiles of all his wares. He knew this was a business transaction and that his current Asgardian client probably had something to do with this meeting.

It came at a good time, too, making a new capture and train them might be the exact thing he needed. Though he hadn’t acted on his decision to keep Loki – poor, damaged Loki – his mind was still on that path, subconsciously watching him closer than before.

He told himself it was to watch for his hands, but that was just a lie.

He watched him because he liked the way he moved.

And if he imagined himself doing things to him, then that was just something he could live with.

His boots crunched on the fresh grass of Vanahiem as he made his way to the tavern the meeting was set in.

Taneleer was used to being brought to questionable locations to conduct his business. Anyone who knew how to contact him was contacting him for a reason. Discretion was key. If anyone associated with him, then they automatically became someone who ‘associated with him’.

As needed as he was in Jotunhiem, he was reviled in others. Lots of people thought him cruel, evil and vile. But since he was not part of their realms, they didn’t care. And Jotunhiem needed him. He brought in a lot of business and more than a few delegates from time to time.

His type were always welcome, even by those who didn’t want to welcome him. So, when he entered the tavern, a few people turned, looked, then gave him his space. He knew his odd appearance was something that was distasteful and though, in his opinion, there were uglier people around, he kept it as best as he could, others were often revolted. Even the women who welcomed their guests seemed to think twice and tried to swerve past each other so that they didn’t have to.

But Taneleer wasn’t bothered, never did people who were so below him matter to him. Instead, he walked into the tavern and headed to the lady who seated everyone. She looked at him with distaste and he was quick to smile at her, just to ruin her day.

“My lady” he purred, tucking the profiles he had closer to him “Has there, been, by any chance, a gentleman in a cape and cowl, waiting for me?”

She looked at him, at his file, his face and gave him a clearly false smile.

“This way, please” she turned and headed deeper into the tavern, leading him to a table.

Her heeled boots made a sharp click on the floor and her pale, elven skin seemed to quiver with disgust at the thought of the man following her. Norns, she would need a hot bath after this, just looking at him made her feel dirty.

There was a tall alcove at the back, stuffed with cushions with a big dining table before it. It was a small room, private and expensive, so Taneleer beamed at the thought of dealing with a rich man. The woman opened the door and gestured him inside, holding her breath as he passed her. She closed the door, then shuddered in revulsion before she pat her arms and body, to get rid of _him_.

Hopefully whoever was inside would kill him and be done.

She left the door and went back to her post, trying to get the thing out of her mind.

Inside the small private room, Taneleer smiled at the three men sitting at the table. One was a man with grey eyes and long black hair, the other was a blonde bloke, pretty and clean. The third was a stoic, stern looking man, clearly from Vanahiem. All three were warriors and looked at him with distrust and dislike.

There was a forth, hidden in the alcove, draped on the cushions and covered with shade.

He was the man Taneleer would talk to, the collector was sure.

“My lords” he simpered “How may I help you?”

“Sit” the blonde with the moustache ordered

Taneleer sat and set the profiles before him, spreading them out. His cold hands could read them without looking, so good was he with them.

“Would you like to see the wares or should we discuss other things first?” Taneleer beamed “Lovely weather, we have here, do we not?”

“I did not come here for the weather” the deep, guttural voice of their master spoke, delighting Taneleer “I know what I want, you will name your price and this will be over”

“Oh?” Taneleer beamed “And would you like to see the profiles we have already? It might help you decide if you want something like these”

He picked up the first, handing it to the blonde “Svetlana. Beautiful woman, bred for children, her buyer wants her to fill his home since his wife cannot. She can care for them too, young woman, too. She can cook, clean, sew…”

“I do not care what she does” the Master said “What I want is someone you already have. I do not have a type nor a preference I want him and him alone”

Taneleer tensed, his smile falling from his face “You want another man’s commission?”

“Aye” the Master said “I will pay you for your trouble, of course. I know that you have no real reason to decline, seeing as you never give the time period for when your wares are ready, so it will be easy for you”

That was true.

And Taneleer was looking forward to a new ware. The training and the breaking in was a process he could use to distract himself from Loki.

The Collector sat back and rubbed his jaw, contemplating. The men were warriors, the Master was rich, why should he hesitate?

“You said ‘him’” Taneleer said, looking directly at the man in the shade “Who do you want?”

There was silence a moment and the grey eyed, black haired one tensed for a few moments before he looked at Taneleer.

“Loki Jarrson”

Taneleer felt himself go hot, then cold, for the first time, his façade breaking.

He had given away, not only the fact that he had Loki, but that he was the one who had done everything they feared.

His mind went numb at first, trying to come up with a lie, an excuse, anything.

Not Loki.

Not when he was coming so close to deciding if he wanted him or not.

“Loki?” he asked, when the silence stretched on “You want…”

“Did I stutter?” the Master said, leaning forward slowly and coming into the light.

The warriors all tensed and Taneleer felt is mouth fall open when he saw Prince Thor, Crowned Prince of Asgard sitting before him. As it to confirm that it was him, thunder rumbled in the distance, a dreadful sort of omen in the skies.

The man’s blue eyes bored into Taneleer’s and for once, The Collector found himself outmatched.

Thor was going to rule not only Asgard, but all the realms. This was a chance unlike many, this was something bigger than Taneleer had ever done.

Dealing with someone like him and lying to him was not wise, despite it being something he clearly wanted to do.

Thor was looking at him, his blue eyes focused on his disgusting face. He smirked at Taneleer’s expression and held up a hand, his card between his fingers.

He tossed it on the table and looked the collector in the eyes.

“You gave me that with the promise of meeting you when I needed something” Thor said “Are you going to back out on you word to aid your future King with something like this?”

Taneleer looked to the blonde, the stoic one and the other, all three of them looked back at him.

This was not a deal, this was a set purchase. These men were going to _ensure_ that Thor got what he wanted.

Taneleer loved money, he yearned for it, he lived for it. He also loved self-preservation and at this moment he found that threatened.

However, lately, he was finding something else important to, something that these men wanted.

Loki…

They wanted Loki and Taneleer felt hesitance, felt the need to lie to them and keep Loki with him.

For a few seconds, he floundered, then looked at Thor.

“Loki, he …”

“He is alive and he is with you, I am certain” Thor said “do not lie to me, it will not end well. Name your price and you will walk out with all your limbs intact.”

That had Taneleer rethink and he swallowed, trying to console himself.

Loki could be stolen back, there was nothing wrong with giving him away for a while, just until the prince grew bored.

The three men stood and Taneleer quickly shot forward the file that was Loki’s.

“Is this him?” he asked

The men didn’t touch it, but Thor stood and reached for it, picking up the file and flicking it open. He went through it, looking at the sketch of the young man, who would soon be …

He tried not to grimace…

…soon be his.

“He’s older than your usual ones” Thor rumbled “And this says he is … damaged?”

“Aye, my prince” Taneleer said “Unfortunate accident left his hands hurt.”

Thor hummed “He is fit otherwise?”

“Yes, my lord” Taneleer looked at the table, resisting the urge to punch something

“Then I will take him” he said, putting the file under his arm “He’s been trained well to take orders?”

“As well as he can after a year of training” Taneleer said “He has been a little troublesome”

Thor once more, hummed “Very well, then. Name your price”

A thousand of him in return, Taneleer wanted to say, but he held his tongue.

Business transaction, first, retaliation – if any – later.

“You offered twice his original sum” Taneleer said “That is good enough”

“Which is?” Thor asked

“Half million gold coins” Taneleer said “Then half when he was ready”

“Two million, then” Thor said confidentially.

Inwards, he cringed.

There goes the holiday home he wanted to have made. But this was well worth it.

Or so he hoped.

He really, _really_ needed his hammer back.

“Yes, my lord” Taneleer said, feeling a little better at hearing the money.

“Then it will be given” Thor told him “Fandral”

The man beside him looked at him and Thor nodded

“Get the sum from me and hand it to him tonight” Thor said, then looked at Taneleer “Is there anything else?”

Taneleer nodded “You would need to fill out and give me some paperwork, nothing else, my lord. I have it here, with me”

“I will get the money, then” Fandral said

Thor took a chair out and sat “Svadilfari, go with him”

Taneleer watched the grey haired man stand and go, leaving Thor with the Vanir. The prince sat and held out a hand for the papers, looking them over when Taneleer gave it to him.

“What do I do?” he asked

“You write down your name” Taneleer said, pointing it out “Information and a few details, then colour in the spots that say you agree to discretion. I fill out the rest”

“Very well” Thor extended his hand for a pen “Besides, there is no harm in it”

He smiled at Taneleer

“If you break the discretion clause, then I know where to aim my next lightning bolt” the prince snickered

Taneleer gave him a wan smile and watched Thor write down his name in big bold letters.

‘THOR ODINSON, son of ODIN BORSON, aged THIRTY SEVEN was set to purchase LOKI JARRSON, aged TWENTY SEVEN at the price of TWO MILLION gold.

The purchase was conducted with seller TANELEER TIVAN, at age ONE HUNDRED FORTY NINE, giving his full consent to the sale of the ware.

The ware LOKI was trained for TWO YEARS and taught the crafts of DANCING, COOKING, BAKING, GROOMING and PLEASURES OF THE BOUDIOR.

He has no disabilities and has been sold as CONSORT/PARTNER to THOR on the present date.’

Thor was setting down the date when he stopped and looked at Taneleer.

“You said he can’t work his hands properly” Thor said, “This says he does not have disabilities”

“You can,” Taneleer swallowed “Cross that part out”

Thor did so with an angry slash, set the date and continued.

‘I, THOR ODINSON hereby agree to the terms of discretion written below and will not at any date, try to ask for a refund or exchange the wares’

Thor didn’t even read the terms, he signed his name, then handed the pen to Taneleer.

Taneleer signed his own name and guaranteed that he will not mention Thor’s name to anyone, not mention this transaction to anyone and will not meet Thor unless Thor asks.

He folded the bill of sale, unfolded it and Thor raised his brows as it parted into two.

One for him, one for Taneleer.

“There you are, sir” Taneleer smiled “A Deed of Sale”

Thor took his deed and put it in his pocket, smiling at Taneleer. He stood and pointed to the collector.

“Hogun, do make sure he sends Loki with you and the others” Thor smiled “I do not trust him at all”

Hogun nodded grimly and watched as Thor picked up his cape and cowl from where he sat, put it over his shoulders and headed to the door.

“Bring him to me as soon as possible, my friend” he said “A lot hangs in the balance.”

Hogun nodded and Taneleer cursed his luck as his one ware, the one he longed to keep, for once, was taken from his grasp by a spoiled brat.

***

“How was the Vanir air, Thor?” he was asked “Pleasant?”

Thor, who was focused more in his dinner than anything else, looked up at his father and found the worst poker face in known history.

The man couldn’t hide what he was thinking if his life depended in it. Which, Thor thought, was a bad thing. Odin became too easy to read when he was comfortable.

It wasn’t hard to know exactly what his father was talking about because there was a large love bite at Thor’s throat, hard to cover and blaring. It matched a few others down his body and one in a place he never thought he would get one.

Lady Freya had been very energetic in her love making once they had started. And Thor, having feared anger and rage on her part at hearing his plan, was very pleasantly surprised to get thrown into a night of multiple love making sessions where he was marked, scratched, owned and basically told where he belonged.

And if he learned it right, he belonged on his back, under Lady Freya.

The woman had been cold at the start, downright frosty. After their last meeting, Thor was still not on stable ground with her and it took a lot of pretending to listen to her for him to finally have her in his arms.

The woman was stung, she was bound to sting him back when he came to her.

Her husband was once more, away, so Thor had two nights with her. After he dealt with that creature, Taneleer, he had gone right to Lady Freya’s home, then her bed, where he revealed his plan to get Mjolnir back and she revealed to him a side that he absolutely loved.

No woman, so far could make him do what she did in those two days and he came home with a big grin on his face and a decision to make her feel more possessive in the future.

After he … well, after he was done with what he was planning.

When Amora and Fandral came to him, aye a month ago, it was, and told him that they knew where Loki was, he felt himself grow cold.

That lizard faced creature, truly reptilian, was the one who had taken Loki from his home and kept him norns knew where. They had no idea what state Loki was in but they were willing to get a meeting with him and they did.

Amora had sent him a message, a time, a place and a few details about the meeting.

After she and Fandral had killed his men, of course. They had been leaving the house Loki’s mother lived in to the ground.

Farbauti was missing and Amora had left with Lady Sif, on Thor’s orders, to find her.

Fandral, Hogun and Svadilfari were still in Jotunhiem, following Taneleer to his estate to get Loki from him and bring him here.

They were in Asgard, having taken three different routes through various realms so no one knew what Thor had purchased, so no one would ever guess that Loki was a bought product and that Thor took him from _Taneleer Tivan_ , someone who was a hated member in all good society.

Oh, the thought of the taint that came with someone like Taneleer was something the royal family would never live through.

Thor would have no idea how the hell he would explain to anyone that Loki was a mail ordered – partner. If anyone found out, Thor would have a lot of explaining to do.

And none of it would be good for him.

The reality of where Loki came from was too great a risk so Thor was going to tread carefully and ensure that no one discovered the truth.

It was therefore easier for him to smile at Odin and his expression.

“It was a little biting,” Thor said “The winds were frosty but otherwise, yes, very pleasant”

Bestla, who sat beside them, snickered and Odin sighed at his son, not getting the answer he wanted. His eye, however, told Thor that he was going to have to answer him later on in the night, when they two of them were alone.

Odin wasn’t really happy with Thor these days.

He wasn’t doing so well in his examinations and Balder was always complaining about his tests whenever he checked them. They had improved, but Thor was failing because of his lack of finesse when he answered his questions.

Apparently, reading extensively was the answer to it, so now Thor was given a list of books he was supposed to finish, chosen by Odin himself. He was reading an hour every night before he slept and though he was enjoying the stories, he would never tell Odin.

Besides there was no true way to tell his father that he was in serious like with that Queen of Dragons. Her husband had been nice too and Thor would never admit that his death disturbed him. He was truly hooked to the series and read them slowly, savouring them.

Besides, he wanted to see if that Snow character was alive or dead.

But that was left for another time, right now, he was faced with his invasive family as he tried to enjoy his dinner.

“I can see that” Odin mumbled “Your friends haven’t returned with you. Did they have other plans?”

“A hunt” Thor said “I don’t know what, really, Svadilfari really wanted to go with them.”

“You didn’t?” Odin picked up his drink to sip

“I rarely ever do” Thor moved his dinner around a little “I prefer to be alone on my hunts, you know that”

“Aye, we do” Balder smiled “Perhaps on your trips you could use the time to study more. Your grades aren’t improving, Thor”

“Oh leave him be” Bestla cut in “Let the boy relax, can’t you see he was just had animal sex?”

A loud cough alerted them and not a moment later, Odin’s drink came out of his nose and he fell into a coughing fit.

“Father!” Balder yelped and grabbed his napkin, giving it to Odin.

Thor was red in the face and watched it all with a strange sort of fascination. His eyes were wide and Bestla looked very proud of herself.

Gods, the woman was going to be the death of Odin.

“Mother, have you no filter?” Odin croaked, a few minutes later, when he could breathe. His face was slightly red and he looked traumatized.

“With a reaction like that, I think I never will” Bestla beamed.

Thor shook his head and chuckled, but stopped when he saw Balder glowering at him like he did something wrong.

“What?” Thor asked sharply “Just say it, stop glaring at me, Balder”

Balder looked at him and for a few minutes he decided whether or not to say it and make the entire environment tense.

Odin hoped he wouldn’t and he opened his mouth to tell them both to be nice, he didn’t raise his boys to fight each other, but then Balder shook his head.

“Nothing other than my own thoughts” he said “Nothing to do with you”

“Better not be” Thor muttered, leaning over to take a drink.

Bestla eyed the boys and saw the tension between them. They had been close as children but with their pasts, it had turned them both a little nasty towards each other.

She really hoped they would fix it.

“Well” Bestla said “I don’t know about your thoughts, but I have invited a few Vanir ladies over for lunch tomorrow. A few old friends and their daughters; I reconnected with them at the ball, if you remember”

“Those ladies who overtook the balcony with you?” Balder looked at her and asked

“The same” Bestla nodded “They are the best and have the juiciest gossip from all around the realms”

“Then I should make Eyvindr serve you” he said, taking another cautious sip of his mulled wine “It would make his day for sure”

Balder chuckled “And then you will get to hear all of it in the morning”

Odin rolled his eye “I would rather not”

“You pretend not to like it, Father, we all know you get your best information from him” Thor pointed out “It’s why you can rule the Council so well”

Odin smirked “Well, then. How about I give him to you along with the throne. It might do you good”

Thor shuddered “Nay, my lord, I would never. The man never shuts up. Once I told him explicitly to do so and he just went on in a softer tone”

Bestla pointed to him from across the table “Aye, he did that to me too! I wanted him to be silent about that ninny, what’s her face, and he kept telling me of her fabulous new designs for her bedchambers. Pray tell why would anyone want to know what is in that hag’s bedchambers?”

“You are talking about Lady Astrid again?” Balder asked “Your old friend”

“My nemesis” Bestla growled “Little shrew tried to steal Bor from me”

“My Queen” Odin looked at her “I doubt that happened”

“She did, I swear upon my honour” Bestla countered “She stroked his arm and leaned on him, pretending to feel sick. Oh, it riled me up, I tell you.”

“Mother, it’s been a thousand years, do try and get over it” Odin said “Besides, you punched her in the face, it’s over”

“You punched her?” Thor gasped, leaning closer “In the face?”

“In the middle of a crowded ballroom” Odin said “They were not even engaged, Thor, Mother leapt on her and continuously punched her in the face till she was pulled off”

“By three men” Bestla boasted “I had a bunch of her hair in one hand, too”

Balder gaped “Oh my stars, what the hell?”

“She was looking at him” Bestla countered “What was I supposed to do?”

“Not punching her would have been an option” Thor snickered “But then you wouldn’t be the woman we all know and love”

“Damn right I wouldn’t be” Bestla forked up a little more food “And I wouldn’t be married to him. She was a beautiful woman and a good friend, but after that day I wish her tits sweep the floor”

A bar of laughter escaped Odin before he could stop himself, then he lowered his head into his hands, snickering.

“What is wrong with you?” Odin laughed softly, looking at his mother “Why would you …”

He broke off, chuckling and both Balder and Thor smiled.

Bestla grinned at her son then went back to her meal, going silent after.

Conversation restarted after, moving mainly over safer and more boring topics until dinner ended. Once it did, Thor excused himself and stood, heading out before they could stop him.

And the look Odin gave him as he wished him good night reaffirmed the fact that he was going to have a talk about a certain lady with his father sooner or later.

But as it was, tonight, he was free and the first thing he intended to do was to go to Fandral’s home.

Because while he was having dinner and having a nice conversation, he had seen Olivier signal him subtly from the servant’s entrance, telling him that Fandral had returned.

And with him, no doubt, was Loki, Thor’s latest purchase.

His heart was starting to race with anticipation and Thor all but jogged down the halls and made his way to the palace stables.

His mare was easy enough to saddle once he reached it and Thor made sure no one really saw him sneak out.

The guards were changing shift and he wanted to bring Loki here, to the palace, undetected. Fandral lived in apartments that were less secure than the palace and Thor had a feeling Loki was not going to want to stay in Asgard.

So Thor snuck out and rode into the night, leaving the palace behind him as he went into the capital’s streets.

***

Fandral had a nice enough home, a spacious apartment, fit for a man of his status. It was decorated to his taste, rich, delightful and trinkets from his adventures around the realms were placed about.

The living area was nice and well furnished, carpeting and heavy furniture giving it a warmth in the cold Asgard winter. There was a large hearth, too, slowly warming it up for him and his – guest.

Loki was not what he expected, to say the least.

Fandral had imagined someone who at least looked like a hero or knight, this tall gangly thing looked barely strong enough to hold up a sword.

There had been so much said about his wit and tongue but the three days it took them to get here, Loki had not said a single word. He didn’t even answer when he was spoken directly too.

He seemed scared of the light and of loud noises and one time, Fandral woke him up for breakfast and the man damned near brained him with his lamp.

There was fear in his green eyes, fear of light, of sound and of men looming over him.

Svadilfari had no words for him, his dislike for Loki was clear.

He referred to him as a prostitute and even refused to share his horse with him. They had kept his hands tied and didn’t let him escape because he had tried to a few times.

Svadilfari had backhanded him hard enough to bruise and Fandral had shouted at him to back off.

He was Thor’s.

He was not going to be harmed.

But the damage had been done and Loki, who had at least eaten something before, refused even that. Fandral had helped him back on the horse and decided to make their journey quicker.

He had separated from Svadilfari and brought Loki to his home, keeping the cloak over his head and snuck him in. He got a few looks, but they were easily brushed off. Fandral was known for bringing home men and women alike. If this one was married and wanted to hide, who would care.

The warrior had tried to get Loki to eat something, tried giving him a glass of water, but Loki didn’t respond.

His hands just shook occasionally and Fandral feared he was terrified.

Not that he would blame him, he was believed to be a prostitute and was about to be sent to the palace.

Fandral had started a meal, just in case Loki wanted to eat, but the boy barely moved. He was younger than him, much younger than Thor, too, but he didn’t seem helpless.

He just seemed – resigned – or something.

And silent, very silent.

Fandral was setting the food on the table when he heard a horse down below and he knew that Thor had arrived – no one else made their horse neigh loudly when they stopped.

Shaking his head, he set another plate, in case the prince wanted something, then waited.

Sure enough, a few minutes later, heavy footsteps sounded at the door and a knock rose within the room.

Sighing, giving Loki a glance, Fandral went to open it.

Loki didn’t move. The hood was still covering his face as he sat there and felt the thick, stifling presence of his Prince Thor.

Oh, how he longed to hurt him.

But with these damaged hands, he could do nothing.

Plus, he couldn’t really understand what they said, their language was all but foreign to him, leaving him to decipher it as best he could.

He had been made to learn it at that monster’s insistence so he could say and understand a good deal – just not all.

He heard Thor close the door behind him then held his hands tighter.

The man was huge! Which meant he was stupid.

And he was a prince, which made him dangerous so Loki breathed deep and tried to stay still, despite his emotional distress making his hands shake.

“He hasn’t eaten anything in two days, Thor” Fandral said softly “I suggest letting him stay till he is comfortable, then…

“Give us a few moments alone, aye?” Thor said dismissively  “I want to talk to him”

He didn’t even wait for Fandral to respond, he went to where Loki was, pulling up a chair and setting it before Loki, so he could sit.

Fandral thought the entire thing a little threatening and rolled his eyes, going to the kitchen.

He closed the door and hoped Thor didn’t do anything stupid.

And Thor was busy looking at Loki, who hadn’t lifted his eyes from the ground.

Good, Thor thought, he already knew his place.

“Loki” he rumbled, watching the boy tense further “That is your name, is it not?”

Loki didn’t reply, he stayed in the position he was in and refused to even back away, despite wanting to when Thor reached over and tipped his head up, his large hand curled gently beneath Loki’s chin.

Loki found himself looking into a pair of electric blue eyes and he swallowed, keeping his lips tightly shut.

And _Thor_ found himself looking into a pair of stunning green eyes, long lashes, high cheekbones and hair so black he longed to touch it. His skin was soft and pale and though he was not feminine, there was something about him…

There was something bewitching about this Loki and it disarmed him for a second, chased all thought from his head.

The boy was beautiful, he was handsome and his skin was so soft Thor wanted to touch more.

So he slowly pulled his hand back and shook himself out of his thoughts.

He cleared his throat and sat back, his posture intimidating, his brow furrowed.

“Do you speak our language?” Thor asked “Don’t speak if you don’t want you, just nod or shake your head. I won’t hurt you, if that is what you are thinking”

Loki looked at him for a few seconds before he licked his lips and opened his mouth.

“May I have some water?” he asked softly “I’m thirsty”

Thor blinked at that, surprised, not expecting him to say anything, really.

“Of course” Thor stood and went to the kitchen.

Fandral was already inside and he looked at his friend, brow arched.

“Give up so soon?” he asked

Thor scoffed “Nay, boy wanted water. He’s _thirsty_ ”

Fandral tried to hide his smile and went to get a glass and opened is tap, filling it with nice, cool water.

“Maybe ask him if he wants food next” Fandral said, extending the water to him “That would be nice”

Thor only grunted in response, took the water from him and turned to go.

Only to stop cold when he saw the couch was empty and the door to the home was flung open.

“Norns damn it!” Thor dropped the glass and strode to the door “Fandral, he escaped!”

Thor tore down the halls to find him, his booted feel thudding heavily on the wooden floors. His eyes were narrowed to slits and he longed to strangle the little brat.

“If anyone finds that Jotun on the loose we are in for a heap of questioning” Fandral followed him, clearly distressed.

It was very easy to spot a Jotun. The pale skin, the green eyes would give him away instantly and many would wonder what he was doing in the capital. And Thor knew that the brat wouldn’t keep his mouth shut about them.

“Split up, we’ll find him faster” Thor growled as they took the stairs, going down to the ground floor “He couldn’t have gotten far”

Fandral nodded and went to the other side, hoping that, perhaps, Loki went there.

Their labour was in vain because upon the staircase Thor had so angrily climbed down, sat Loki, watching the entire debacle. His cloak was still upon his head, his anonymity was helped by the fact that he was in the darkness - blessed darkness. He sat perched calmly on the stairs, watching Thor vanish, his black cloak flying behind him as they searched for him.

Fools, they were, thinking they would catch him.

He smirked to himself and looked up, watching the staircase fade further up into darkness and made his way there.

There was no doubt that Asgard was beautiful. She was warm, gold and stunning. But to him she was unkind, she was his prison and as he climbed the stairs to go to the roof of the building, he saw himself in a glorious prison, a gilded cage of gold and riches.

He was brought here as a whore, a prostitute to fill the Prince’s bed. He had known an Aesir purchased him, commissioned him, but he didn’t know that the Aesir was the Prince himself.

And looking at him, Loki felt sick. When he touched him, Loki wanted to slap his hands away, but the bruise on his face was evidence of what happened when he tried to.

Gods above, he hated them all.

He hated them and he wanted to run back, he wanted to go home, he wanted to find his mother.

The other one told him that his house had been burnt down and that his mother was missing. Someone was looking for her, he was told, but he wanted to go after her himself.

She was probably cold somewhere, hungry and scared, looking for him while he was here, in the clutches of this monster.

His heart was bleeding, he wanted to go back to her.

For the first time in two years, Loki was standing underneath the stars and tears filled his eyes as he looked up, praying that his mother could be here. He hadn’t seen her in so long, he hadn’t held her in so long, he _wanted_ her.

Like a child, he wanted his mother.

A foot scuffed the ground and Loki turned, gasping when he saw Thor standing at the door of the roof. His face was angry and thunder rumbled above him. His hands clenched and unclenched, seemingly wanting to hold something and Loki instinctively backed away, his emotional state leaving him vulnerable.

“That was very clever, little giant” Thor smiled “But not clever enough”

He stepped forward and Loki retreated from him, searching for a way off the roof.

“Don’t bother” Thor growled “There is no place for you to go to”

“D-Don’t come any closer” Loki warned “I won’t let you take me back”

“What will you do?” Thor hissed “Hit me with your shaking hands? Try it, go on, Loki, it will not help you”

Loki managed to corner himself and soon Thor stood looming over him.

“Make good use of the patience I exhibit” Thor growled at him “And get your ass inside.”

When Loki didn’t move, Thor shouted

“Now!”

Up above them, lighting flashed and thunder vibrated through the city, making Loki scream and curl up, much like he did in that damned torture room. He curled up into a ball, his eyes shut, his hands over his ears as he waited for it to be over again, as he waited for Taneleer to turn the thing off again after hours and hours of torture.

Thor, honestly, was surprised and looked down at him, confused.

The boy was acting like an idiot and Thor was losing his patience.

“Oi,” he nudged him with his boot “What is wrong with you?”

Loki didn’t move, he just sat there, covering his ears, closing his eyes…

“It is going to be over,” he whispered, “it is going to be over soon”

Thor sighed and shook his head before he bent down and picked him up.

Loki yelped, his hands scrabbling to balance himself as Thor just threw him over his shoulder like a sack and carried him inside.

Loki didn’t even react, his eyes were shut, his ears were ringing as he felt the torture Taneleer induced upon him.

He wanted it to stop, he wanted Taneleer to leave him alone but the man wasn’t. He was carrying him away and Loki shook his head, told himself no, it wasn’t him, it was someone else. But the lights were flashing again and the roaring was starting, he was in that room, that terrible room once more, they were jolting him, hurting him.

When he was thrown there the last time, Taneleer had left it on for days.

For days Loki suffered and cried and screamed, he tried to throw himself off the pedestal but the floor formed beneath him, preventing even that. He had tried to crawl away from the noise, but they were so damn loud, the flashing light so bright he couldn’t escape. He couldn’t breathe and he couldn’t escape.

There had been no break until one day, when they just shut off.

Three days ago he was brought from that room and sedated, he was thrown from man to man, from guard to guard, tossed into a cart and taken away. His hands had shook as he lay there, unable to move, lost in the past and the present. Because there was no future for Loki, he was stuck, stuck in that phase, in that place and he was terrified of moving.

The world moved around him and he was given to the man who had commissioned him.

This man, the one who was carrying off.

Thor was just like Loki feared, dominating, hateful and cruel. He was going to suffer at his hands, he knew it.

He escaped one tormentor to be with this one until he grew bored.

But there was one thing Loki was sure of.

Just like Taneleer, he would eventually leave Thor.

It was going to be over soon, he told himself.

It was going to be over soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think and send me a HEY on my tumblr
> 
> satanssyn-n-things.tumblr.com


	6. Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More torture and torment for both the prince and the Jotun

The palace of Asgard was phenomenal. It was built in gold, beautiful, absolutely inspiring and had many a poet from other realms use it as their muse to spin epic tales.

It was the grandest part of Asgard and as expected, very, very well protected. The public entrance and the public chambers, visiting areas and the like were also maintained, kept well and had a lot of the people come to look at paintings, statues, read stories and look at the archives set out for the public. There were relics, portions of weapons from ancient wars. Tapestries of Asgard’s victories lined wall to wall. There was also a large hand, rumoured to be the hand of a frost giant. They had been remarkably ferocious things back when Jotunhiem was completely frozen.

They had evolved, stories said, but not that much.

To Asgard, Jotuns were uncivilized monsters, known to be killed upon sight in the Realm Eternal. They were not welcome and misbehaving children were told stories of how those monsters would take them away and eat them up.

They were the stuff of nightmares and all Asgard believed it. No one liked them and no one would.

And even in the palace, though the Royal Family refused to acknowledge it, Jotuns were considered lowest of the low. There was one, allowed in the palace ages ago, sent as a peace delegate.

He was little more than a servant in the palace and died within a decade from an ancient Jotun illness.

There were no tears shed for him. Most didn’t even remember his name.

The palace, however, was well looked after, cared for and maintained. It was the pride of Asgard, meant to be pure, untainted and untouched by anything the least bit dirty.

And tonight, Thor was sneaking in the dirtiest of the dirty, the lowest of the low, the filthiest creature of them all.

A _Jotun_.

Small and fragile looking, but a Jotun nonetheless.

He was tied to the front of Thor’s horse, made to sit with his back against Thor’s front as they entered the castle gates.

Loki was wearing a cloak, Thor’s cloak, to be exact and had his head lowered as per command. If anyone saw him, they would know what he was, if not by the paleness of his face, then by the unnatural colour of his eyes and the very faint lines on the backs of Loki’s hands, his arms and even a little over his neck.

Thor hadn’t seen them before, there was little light where he came from, but now, as they entered the well-lit palace and because he was so close to him, Thor saw him.

In fact, he studied him for the very first time, properly.

Loki’s eyes were, to Asgardians, unnatural. To them, green was simple not an eye colour to have. It was often thought that witches and enchantresses had that colour chosen for their eyes by the norns.

It was a sign that was rumoured to be a hint at the evil resting in the soul of the person.

Loki’s hair was black, so black that it rivalled the night sky. It smelled like Jotunhiem, ice and fog seemingly a part of it and Thor had to turn his head away when he realised he liked it.

There was no part of him that would like this irritating man, none. Thor was a man of reason, not a slave to his emotions.

Besides, he had Lady Freya to get to.

Her husband was leaving once more, possibly on her urging, so he wanted to spend time with her. He was assured that Svadilfari would make sure Loki didn’t leave his rooms.

Thor could trust him in that.

He was distracted but his attention came to Loki with a soft wisp of a sound as the hood of his cloak fell off Loki’s head because he was looking straight up, at the palace.

It exposed his long neck, patterns and his eyes and pale skin.

Not very smart of him.

“Keep your head down” Thor growled, forcibly placing a hand on Loki’s head and making him look down “You want everyone to see you, beast?”

Loki grit his teeth and Thor pushed the hood back up. He hated the feeling of being at the hands of another cruel monster but because he knew he would likely be killed.

If Thor was anything to go by, there was no mercy for him here on Asgard, no one what so ever.

He stayed silent and Thor took him through a well lit hallway, likely a place where guests stopped their carriages and dismounted before they entered the doors Loki saw before him.

So Thor was not taking him from the front of the palace he was taking inside from the side.

Very nice.

Thor stopped the horse and Loki heard hurried footsteps as a servant came forth.

“Olivier” Thor nodded to him and got off the horse “Make sure no one sees him. I will go around the front, alright?”

“Of course, my lord” Olivier, a young elf, nodded and reached his hands up to Loki “Come on, sir”

Thor snorted “Sir. He’s hardly civilized, boy. His name is Loki, make sure he doesn’t run and don’t trust a single word he says”

Loki gave Thor a glare and the Prince scoffed.

“Make sure he eats something” Thor said “Shove it down his throat if you have to”

“Yes, my lord” Olivier waited for Loki to dismount then smiled at him when the Jotun obeyed. He got off the horse and watched as Thor led his steed away. Olivier’s hand held his arm and Loki longed to tear it from his grasp and leave.

But Thor had been sure to lead him into the palace through the scenic route, which meant Loki had seen all the security around them and looked at the men who would kill him.

He was just like Taneleer, just like him, trapping Loki here and keeping him here against his will.

He even had this Olivier, like Taneleer had those trainers.

But Loki hated Thor for one more reason.

That he was the Aesir Taneleer told him caused all this. Thor had ordered him, bought him, had him trained and told to dance for him.

This was a monster worse than Taneleer and as Thor walked away, Loki longed to kill him, slit his throat and hang the consequences. He hated him and everything he would order Loki to do, Loki would disobey.

He would sooner fling himself off the balcony than listen to his orders.

A tug on his arm, gentle, made him look at the elf – the breed that was apparently allowed to live freely in Asgard – who gave him a smile.

“Come along” Olivier said “You must be tired and the food here is really good. I mostly stay just for it”

Loki tried not to snarl too much and followed, letting the elf take him away for slaughter.

Loki expected nothing less, if he was being honest.

***

Thor’s chambers were…well, they were everything fit for the future King of Asgard.

The doors were gold, engraved with actions and battles that took up a special place in Prince Thor’s heart. He saw glimpses of Jotuns being killed but that was expected.

He couldn’t expect a bunch of warriors to be evolved, after all.

There was a circular panel above the doorknob, glowing a soft, pale blue and Loki looked at it, growing curious. It only increased when he saw Olivier place a hand over it and make it glow a little brighter.

A loud click sounded, indicating that the doors were open and it was then Loki realized that was a lock.

His chances of escape were suddenly slimmer.

The servant pushed the door open just as a voice barked an order from behind them.

“Olivier” Thor’s voice held command as he came towards them “You are dismissed after you set up dinner for us. I will introduce our new guest to his chambers”

Loki, once more, grit his teeth and kept his eyes away from Thor’s blue eyes, golden hair and his stupid smile.

He kept his gaze on his hands and realized to his shame that they were beginning to shake. It made him appear scared and he didn’t like it. Not one bit. 

Thor barely waited for the servant to let go before he took Loki’s arm and all but pushed him into the huge, luxurious rooms.

Loki stumbled and Thor steadied him, looking behind him to close and lock the doors. A soft hiss and click indicated that Loki was now here, alone with this monster and the Jotun turned to face him very slowly.

Thor was looking right at him as they stood in a small entrance, his blue eyes cold and disinterested in Loki.

Or so it seemed.

Loki had realized early on that he attracted trouble from those who were disinterested at first.

Without hesitation, Thor reached over and undid the clasp at Loki’s throat, making the young man jerk, trying to get away. But Thor gave him an angry, warning shake and Loki stilled, watching that large hand so close to his neck, undo the cloak,

It fell off his shoulders, slowly pooling at their feet and Loki felt naked without it. He felt exposed, vulnerable. He was leaning slightly away from Thor, trying to get away but because the man held his arm so tight it was virtually impossible to avoid him. Thor was a suffocating, unbearable presence and Loki kept his gaze lowered, as was expected, while they stood where they were.

Thor let out a quiet hum before he walked Loki forward, uncaring that Loki managed to trip a little and led Loki to a couch.

His heart was pounding in his chest as Loki was thrown into it and he waited… he waited for Thor to do whatever he wanted. Loki couldn’t stop him so he didn’t even look up, he stayed there, half laying on the couch, his face buried into the cushions.

Unresponsive.

Thor would lose interest soon.

But all Loki did was wait because nothing happened. A clink sounded after a second and he slowly turned his head to see Thor filling up a pair of glasses from a decanter that sat in the corner.

The rooms Loki was in were big, bigger than any he had been in and were clearly sitting rooms, personal enough to be Thor’s but clearly only a part of the Prince’s chambers. There was no northern wall, instead there was a spectacular view of the night skies of Asgard, thin drapes billowing in the wind and a balcony to be envious of. Where Loki sat, couches and chairs were sprawled in little groups, strategically placed to give a view, privacy and leisure in whatever degrees Thor wanted. It was dimly lit by the candles on the mantle Thor stood by, a good ten feet from Loki, and the lamps all along the walls.

It was beautiful, it truly was, coloured in crimson and golds and whites.

Loki would have enjoyed living in a place such as thing had things been different.

But they were not.

They were dire, possibly even cruel.

He sat up very slowly, still as he could be on the couch as he watched his owner – oh, how the word burned him – finish a glass then pour another for himself. The other glass remained untouched until Thor had two more glasses and picked it up to bring to Loki.

He was so big, so imposing, that Loki couldn’t help slide away as he took a seat with him. Thor didn’t say a word, he set the glass before Loki and studied him.

The man was younger than him by ten years and he looked so. But one look into his poisonous eyes had Thor realizing that this one, this Loki was anything but young. There was wisdom and life within his eyes that was possibly placed there by his trauma.

Oi, Thor told himself, his mind must be a bag of cats.

The prince exhaled, sipped his drink then reached over to pick up the one he got for Loki and handed it to him.

“Drink” he said, his voice not exactly commanding thanks to the alcohol.

Loki looked at the drink, then at Thor, then shook his head. He didn’t trust him to have put something in the drink. He could have Loki knocked unconscious and do whatever he wanted.

“It isn’t poisoned” Thor frowned “Would it feel better if I took a sip?”

Loki cleared his throat and shook his head again “I don’t like it”

“Ah! It speaks!” Thor beamed “Finally, a word from you in my own home. This warrants a celebration, should I call the Palace Party Organizer?”

Loki, despite himself, felt his face heat up and watched Thor take the drink he had in his hand, then the one he had extended to Loki.

With a mighty gulp and a sigh of contentment, Thor stood, placing the glasses side by side on the table before Loki.

“Since you won’t drink and we have time before we have to eat dinner, come along” Thor extended a hand to him “I will give you a tour of the rooms”

Loki watched the hand, careful of it. But Thor made no move to hurt him so Loki reached up with his bound, shaking hands and took a hold of Thor’s.

The prince pulled Loki up and looked at him, a frown marring his features.

He pointed to Loki’s cheek and it hit Loki that he was looking at the bruise.

“Did Fandral do that?” Thor asked softly

Loki swallowed and shook his head and looked down. He flinched when Thor pressed a hand under his chin and made him look back up, his eyes blue and dangerous

 Thor stroked the bruise lightly “Who was it, Loki? I expect you to answer me this time”

“Why do you care?” Loki rasped before he could stop himself “Don’t you intend to do the same to your damn toy?”

If Loki wanted Thor to be angry, the man was anything but. The anger that came with the thought of someone touching and harming his property vanished and he smirked, giving Loki’s jaw a shake.

“Ah, a fighter, you are, aren’t you?” he rumbled in mild laughter “you probably tried to escape and got smacked for it”

“Oh, aren’t you the clever one” Loki hissed “You figured me out without help”

“I don’t need help figuring you out” Thor smirked “I know everything I have to”

“I bet you do” Loki snarled “you think you have everything you want but there is more to me than you are aware of”

“Is that right?” Thor grinned, liking this new spirit in Loki “And what, pray tell, do you think I am unaware of?”

“I can kill you whenever I want” Loki hissed

“Really?” Thor chuckled “with your shaking, ruined hands I doubt you can even pick up a blade, Loki, so if you are threatening me, either threaten me with something you can do or stay silent”

“Take these bracers off and I will gladly dhow you I can do what I say” Loki snarled back

“You take me for a fool” Thor stroked his cheek with his thumb absently “but I like you. You will do well enough”

Loki glowered at him “Is that why you bought me? To make me do whatever you want?”

“Yes” Thor smiled, stepping away from him “You are mine and mine, alone. No one can take you from me, you are a valuable asset.”

Loki clenched his trembling hands then glared at Thor as he headed to a door behind the seating areas.

“Come” Thor winked at him “I will show you where you are staying”

“You won’t keep your new whore in the royal harem?” Loki mocked.

“Of course not” Thor beamed at him “the harem hasn’t been cleaned in years. It would hardly suit someone as spoiled as you”

Once more Loki snarled and resisted the urge to scratch Thor. He wanted to hurt his face, scar his eyes, rip his stupid blonde hair from his head, burn his oversized…

“Coming or not?” Thor asked, turning to him with a smile that made Loki boil “Or do you want me to carry you on my shoulder. Just be warned if you choose the latter – I like touching”

Huffing in his anger, Loki growled and narrowed his eyes “I’ll scratch your hand off if you try”

It seemed to further please Thor, who only went to the marvellously expensive patterned door and opened it.

“I didn’t think so” Thor gallantly gestured to the door, waiting for Loki “After you”

Loki didn’t want to, not when he was ordered about so meanly, but he took one step, then another and eventually crossed Thor – angrily – so he could step further into the room.

The lights and flames ignited immediately and Loki blinked a few times before he found himself shocked.

He had imagined a princely bed, a desk and a few pieces of furniture beyond the door, complete with the luxuries Thor liked. This, the view before him was something else. Thor was a man for luxury, his floors were always made from marble, what else would they be? Gold marble was what he took his first steps on and gold was what he stood on now.

Behind Loki, he could easily ignore the expensive home he had but Loki was still stumped.

He was standing in a small lobby, clearly a place reserved for the guests Thor thought worthy of entering his chambers and not staying outside in the seating area which, though expensive, was comparatively inexpensive now.

The lobby had two thick, heavy wooden chairs, painted to match the theme of the rooms, and a large table, flowers and all sorts of knick knacks on it. Beyond it was an archway, no door, heading into a living area.

Thor walked onwards, Loki taking it as a signal to follow him, which he did more out of curiosity than anything else.

The living rooms were as grand as expected, high ceilings were painted with intricate art, colours flashing above him before he could make sense of them. And then he only gaped at their beauty.

They were paintings, stunning paintings of gods and kings of old, painted in a backdrop of blue and gold. Crimsons, amber and greens, shades unimaginable were sprawling all over the ceiling and Loki found himself taken by it without really consenting.

It was breath taking, really it was.

As they stepped further inside, Loki looked at the expensive furnishings, comfortable and without a doubt made for the future king. There were loungers that could seat a vast number of people, a table laden with fruits and decorations. A large mantle took its place to the right and upon it was the biggest portrait Loki had ever seen. It could easily be five times Loki’s height, reaching towards the top of the ceiling.

It was Thor, of course it was, holding his mighty hammer and standing before a backdrop of lightning, rain and mountains. His cape billowed in the wind, his helmet was strong upon his head and his blue eyes looked deeply towards the artist, seeming to capture whoever watched.

And for a moment, Loki wondered what it would be like to live here. To have all of this, all to himself, to live the life that Thor lived.

The portrait was stunning, but not the only thing that caught Loki’s attention.

Among the furniture, decorations, carpets and everything in the room, was something Loki hadn’t expected. Right there, in the middle of a rug that lay on the floor a few feet before a large dining table, sat the ugliest thing Loki had ever seen.

Its eyes were too big, its jaw was inclined to the right, a possible deformity, allowing one large fang to protrude from within its whiskery lips.

A kitten, no bigger than Loki’s foot, sat there, looking at them both. There was a tuft of ginger fur at the top of its head and it looked at both of them, a grumpy look upon its face, then let out a loud, low meow.

It made Thor, who was looking through some papers he had lifted from Loki cared naught, look up and frown.

“What the devil?” Thor walked over, his blue eyes going wide when he saw it “How did that get in here?”

“It’s not yours?” Loki asked, looking at Thor

“You think I would have a cat looking like that in my home?” Thor walked to the kitten so he could nudge it with his foot “Shoo, go away”

The kitten hissed at the prince and ran to Loki, going to hide behind his ankles and raise its hackles to Thor, its eyes narrowing. A loud growl escaped him and Loki decided then and there that he liked this one.

“I don’t think he wants to go” Loki chuckled, reaching down to pet the cat

The animal flinched a second, gave Loki a bug eyed look, then relaxed against his fingers.

Thor made a disgusted exclamation “How can you touch it? It’s disgusting”

“I like him” Loki smiled, petting the cat’s back.

Thor made a face and huffed “Fine, just keep it away from me in the future”

It surprised Loki and he lifted his gaze to the prince.

“You’re telling me to keep it?” he asked slowly

Thor shrugged “If you want it, I have no real problem. I won’t look after it, you and Olivier will. Why should it bother me?”

Besides, Thor had plans and it involved him being away from the palace.

“Why indeed” Loki muttered, turning his attention to the cat once more “I’ll call him Ruben”

“Ruben” Thor scoffed “Odd name for a cat”

“Thor” Loki scoffed “Odd name for a prince. As monosyllabic as possible”

“Aye, named after the single brain cell I possess, no doubt” Thor told him

Loki glared at him and the prince beamed.

“Welcome to Asgard, Loki Jarrson” Thor chuckled “May you learn your place as soon as possible.”

It made Loki grit his teeth again, the pleasant surprise of Thor being nice – as spoiled as the term was with him – fading away quickly.

Oh, Thor thought, he was going to have a wonderful time with Loki.

And oh, thought Loki, he was going to have to control the impulse to murder Thor in his sleep.

***

The scent of their passion hung in the air with a promise. The drapes were drawn to keep the wind out, since it was getting cold in Vanahiem, and the room was lit dimly by the fire place at the far side of the bed. There was a rug on the floor and though the bed was comfortable, soft and waiting, Thor lay before the fire, covered by the duvet, with his lover in his arms, both as bare as the day they were born. Her skin glowed in the night and his tattoos seemed to slither over him in the same light, the runes looking slightly sinister.

She was resting her head on a pillow, her finger tracing the marks she made upon his chest in the height of their passion. Thor lay on his side, one arm holding his head up, the other softly tracing patterns on her arm. They were both superbly painted by the dim glow of the fire, Thor’s hair glowing a delicious shade of amber and her eyes lit by the fire.

They were lost in the aftermath of sex and enjoyed each other’s company in silence. But Thor knew it wouldn’t last long, the lady would have a lot to say to him soon enough. Her eyes always betrayed her, telling him the truth before she confessed. And tonight, from her eyes and actions, Thor knew she was driven by jealousy.

He had told her Loki was here, bought for Thor, living in his chambers.

He had answered her questions honestly and because she knew his plan she hadn’t had many. But still, Thor saw the distrust in her eyes, the thought that Thor was leaving all but flashing at him from within their stunning depths.

A thousand questions she had a thousand insecurities she exhibited.

But Thor would lay them to rest, those doubts, because he was enraptured by her, despite not saying so.

“You are thinking too much”

Freya looked at him, blinking a few times “Oh? And you know this because you, too, think too much, aye?”

Thor smiled, a soft laugh escaping his lips “Did you just insult me?”

“Perhaps” she stroked his collar bone “it depends on whether you understood or not”

“Minx” Thor growled, digging his finger in her side and making her squirm, making her giggle.

He liked the sound and he let her go, watching her calm after a while and brush her dark hair back.

She was thinking again, she was calculating what to say and as he looked down upon her, he smiled a little.

“What?” Thor asked her softly, softly caressing her shoulder “You look like you wish to say something”

“Don’t I always?” Freya whispered “I am amazed you haven’t left”

“It’s been a while” Thor smirked “And I truly dislike change”

“Do you?” Freya asked softly

“Aye”

“Even when the change is better?” she prodded “With everything that your current life doesn’t have”

Thor raised his brows and sighed “You are talking about Loki, aren’t you?”

“Perhaps” Freya said “and perhaps I care for you more than you allowed. But since it has happened, there is nothing left for me to do but ask; is he better?”

“Better?” Thor raised his brows “I hardly know, I barely met the man. I put him in a room and came here.”

She looked dubious and Thor exhaled.

“Listen” he said “Loki means nothing to me. I will never be with him, I care naught. He is a means to an end and the moment he has done as I ask, he will be gotten rid of. I don’t much care how, perhaps I can pay him or something”

“And waste more money on him than you already have?” Freya asked.

Thor hummed “Yes, that would be something that could happen”

Freya hummed “You think making jokes will reassure me?”

“No, I think reassuring you will reassure you” Thor replied

He reached over and touched her cheek. His eyes were looking at her features, her face, her lips.

“I have never and will never feel for anyone the way I feel about you” Thor told her, looking right into her eyes “You are a remarkable a woman, a goddess, a tranquillity I found myself without most of my life, Freya. I will cross the realms for you, I will do for you that which I have not done for anyone. You are an inspiration to me, you hear?”

His eyes held his conviction and Freya started to speak, going silent when Thor gently placed a finger over her soft lips.

“It is…” he swallowed “It is not easy for me to say this but you have become more important than I had thought you would be and though it sometimes becomes difficult for me to take in, I cherish it nonetheless.”

Once more he looked into her eyes and licked his lips.

“Just understand that you do not need to worry about a prostitute I bought from a realm renowned seller. There is no comparison”

Freya felt her cheeks heat up in a blush “And to think I thought you ineloquent”

“Did that leave you breathless, my lady?” Thor asked

“A little” Freya said

“Well” Thor growled, pulling her closer and laying her on her back so he could climb on her “Let me make sure you haven’t a breath left to spare, then”

Freya laughed, the sound soon turning into a sigh of pleasure, then becoming increasingly passionate as they continued their tryst on the rug, right before the fire. He was amazing, personally thinking that this was one of his best phases, and she was just as marvellous.

Gavel was gone for three days and those days were spent much like this, with the two of them growing increasingly close. It seemed that her insecurities opened Thor up a little. Not by much, she knew, but just enough that she could think of him as more than he allowed her.

The nights and days passed sooner than she wanted and soon enough Freya was standing by the balcony, watching the much written about scene where her secret lover climbed down the vines attached to her home and made his way back, black cloak and all.

It was fantastic, it was something much deeper than she had with Gavel and she found herself thinking about and hoping that her husband left yet again. She longed to put her arms around Thor again and hold him. And she hoped that he felt the same at some level.

Of course, it would be something she would work for, but she would do it happily.

For Thor was fast becoming her world.

*** 

The library seemed stifling, the air though warm, was too thick for him to breathe properly and Thor started to feel a little hot under the collar. He was taking a test of sorts, Bestla sitting next to him, expertly knitting a scarf for him.

It was a challenge – she said that she was going to make the scarf before Thor finished his exam and Thor, wanting to see if she could, had agreed. He sat now, with her, fresh from his return from Vanahiem and wrote down the answers to the questions she had given him.

The only sounds in the room were of Thor’s constant scribbling and the faint clinking of her needles.

Ever since Balder relinquished his title as Thor’s tutor, Thor was learning more and more. Granted, his progress for his tests was slow, mostly because he found himself mixing up a few laws, but it was progress, nonetheless.

That and Bestla often got bored with waiting and just told him what answers to write when he couldn’t figure it out. It helped him in the sense that he remembered them better, the fact that he was the one cheating making it somehow more important to him.

And he knew that every time she checked his tests, she showed them to Odin. That in itself was an immense pressure to be felt.

Balder was barely seen by Thor now, except for meal times, so Thor was feeling as though he wasn’t judged as much as he was before. His brother was great at understanding rule but far too mean for Thor sometimes. He was rude to him, in Thor’s opinion and though this wasn’t a problem now, Thor saw it become one in the future when he was king.

Disrespect would not be tolerated then.

He bit his lip as his mind wandered and his hand stilled his scribbling. Bestla’s needles became suddenly loud and Thor exhaled softly, making her look at him.

“Stuck?” she asked, reaching for the answer sheet “Tell me the question number”

“No, no” Thor raised a hand “No, I know the answer, my mind just…”

He made a gesture with his hand “Wandered”

“Wandered where, exactly?” she asked “The Council Constitution?”

Thor smirked at her and shook his head, a furrow upon his brow “Doesn’t matter”

“Matters enough if you left your test to think about it” Bestla set her wool and needles down “Tell me. Is it love?”

“No!” Thor looked at her, his eyes wide “No, not love, anything but that, I swear”

“Then what is it?” Bestla asked “Performance problems?”

“Grand Mother!” Thor gasped, nearly spilling the ink beside his hand with his retreat

“Because if there is, there is a cure” Bestla said “A special root tea”

“Oh my norns…” Thor gasped, looking at the table “Nightmare…this is a nightmare….”

“Not really, the tea truly works” Bestla said “I was telling Odin the other day…”

“No!” Thor said loudly, shooting to his feet “No, I need a break, I need a break from the test and from you and no..no….”

Bestla watched, surprised as Thor just walked off, heading to the far end of the library, to the darkened part where all the ancient books were placed.

Once he was gone, she  smiled to herself “Works every time”

With that, she reached down into her knitting bag and pulled out her small bottle of gin, metal and engraved with her initials. She brought it to her lips to drink and sat back to check Thor’s paper to see how he was doing.

In the darkened part of the library, Thor ran his hands through his hair, trying to get that conversation out of his mind.

Gods above, that woman was going to kill him one day!

Thor headed through an isle narrow enough to have his shoulders brush against the books as he passed. It was really dark in here and significantly cooler because no sconces were yet lit. He turned and walked sideways because the exit to the isle was just up ahead, hoping Bestla would have gotten over the topic when he got back.

A soft, low moan flit through the air and Thor froze.

It was high-pitched and close, which meant if Thor turned his head and looked over the tops of books, he would be able to see who it was.

“Please not my grandmother,” he begged, his eyes shut as he turned towards the sound “Please not my grandmother…”

Another moan, more guttural rose next and Thor opened his eyes to see who dared to perform intercourse in the middle of the ancient herbs and spells sections of the royal library.

The two forms were hard to see at first, since they were pressed against a corner of the wall. But when Thor’s eyes managed to focus, he froze, his heart stopping in his throat.

There, pressed against the wall with his leg in the grip of his lover, Balder moaned loudly. His eyes were closed, his head was thrown back as a very familiar black haired figure bit and nipped along his neck.

Svadilfari was bare to the waist, his hands holding Balder up as he was buried to the hilt inside his brother, making him moan and arch as he…

Thor gasped and jumped back, knocking against the books and making a few heavy ones fall to the floor loudly. The sound echoed in the room and both Balder and Svadilfari stopped. Thor went cold and ducked, slinking away like a dog with its tail between his legs, all but running when there was space enough for him, his heavy boots thudding against the floor.

His face was pale, his mind in shambles and he ran as fast as he could, unwilling to believe this.

His heart pounding in his throat, it seemed, Thor burst into the lit part of the library, in time to see Bestla look up in concern.

“Thor?”

He looked at her, openly disturbed before he shook his head “I – I have to go”

“Thor, wait!” Bestla tried to stop him as he fled, going to the doors of the library as though the demons of Muspelheim themselves were after him.

She had no idea what happened and Thor didn’t stop. He couldn’t stop, he couldn’t get the thought out of his mind.

His brother and Svadilfari? Svadilfari, the man who Thor considered a friend!? The man he had fought with, trained with, grown with!? That who Balder was…

He wanted solace, Thor needed peace of mind and he strode to his room, trying to keep his thoughts at bay, trying to understand.

What the hell were they doing!? Was this why Svadilfari came back? Was this why he …

And oh, those implications fell upon Thor heavily.

He hadn’t returned for Thor’s company, he came for Balder. All this time, Thor felt like Svadilfari was a kindred spirit, someone who could understand Thor and accept his friendship without altering too much.

But all this time, he was here for Balder, to do what he was doing with Balder and Thor was a means to an end. It made Thor feel embarrassed, at having believed him and he huffed, turning and headed to the halls that led him outside.

He heard someone call his name but he didn’t care, he went to the yards, then the stables to get his horse. His mind was on one place, one person and one home. And he needed to get to it.

His name was called again and he was at the stable doors when he saw Balder running after him, his face worried. Thor felt anger at seeing him and strode away, going to get his horse.

Balder was still far away but he managed to enter the stables the same moment Thor tore off into the distance, heading for the bi frost. Out of breath and panicked, Balder gasped, his hands on his head as his brother ran off.

He’d seen them.

Norns be damned, Thor had seen both him and Svadilfari.

And Balder had no idea what to do now. He could only watch as Thor galloped away on his horse, his red cape billowing in the wind after him.

The word betrayal stamped itself on Balder and he had no choice but to go back inside and wait for his brother to return.

And Thor wanted to do anything but that at the moment.

So, Balder turned on his heel and went to the royal suites, wincing a little at the tenderness he felt down below. He shouldn’t have run after doing what he was but when he saw _Thor_ , of all people, come upon him and Svadilfari, he had panicked.

They both had.

This was bad, he didn’t want anyone to find out about them, it was going so well. He knew Odin wouldn’t approve, the Kingdom wouldn’t accept it and the fear of having his life controlled by them more than it already was made him run, made him scared.

He didn’t want this to end, it had barely started for him. People like Balder couldn’t get people like Svadilfari, not all by themselves. It had been a dream come true for Balder, when they had first started, around three years ago.

Aye, three years.

At first it was hard with Svadilfari lying to Thor about where he was going and sneaking in to meet Balder, not leaving his chambers for days on end. Thor always thought Svadilfari was someone as nomadic as Thor could be but he wasn’t. He was so different. True, there were similarities between his brother and Svadilfari but what they wanted was vastly different.

Thor wanted freedom where Svadilfari wanted to settle down, he wanted the much sought after dream of a family and living with someone he loved.

Balder had been admiring Svadilfari for years before they got together so it was a stunning event. He hadn’t believed that night when, shy and looking a little intimidated, Svadilfari had come to him to ask him to have a few drinks with him.

After gaining his liquid courage, Svadilfari had kissed him and Balder had been knocked senseless. Oh, how he had fallen and fallen hard.

That day on, they decided to keep it a secret and the relationship built up.

Svadilfari taught Balder everything, looked into his eyes, learned his expressions, his sighs, his touches. In return, Balder showed him he learned what he was taught. Having a young, nearly virginal youth in his hands was a miracle to Svadilfari and Balder enjoyed the pleasures brought to him by someone more experienced.

It was fantastic and it remained that way because no one knew. No one had any inclination about what their relationship was really like and Balder liked it that way.

Except now, the one person they feared finding out over all others knew. Thor was not going to take kindly to this and Balder was sure that they would have another bone of contention in their relationship.

He was almost to the halls once more when Svadilfari jogged over, concern in his grey eyes.

“Did you talk to him?” his lover asked, concern on his features, he cupped Balder’s cheek and frowned “You’re too warm”

Balder blushed and chuckled breathlessly “You know who is to blame for that”

Svadilfari smiled and Balder shook his head, looking back to where Thor had vanished.

“He didn’t stop long enough for me to get him” Balder said “I don’t think he will listen to me”

“And I think he will behead me for touching you”

“I doubt it” Balder scoffed “He’s more likely to chew me out over it. There is no reason to expect him to care for what I do except that you are his friend. He won’t tolerate me taking something that is his”

“Aye, but he doesn’t feel for me the way you do” Svadilfari brushed his hair back off his slightly blushing cheek “He should have no say”

“But he does” Balder smirked, no humour in his voice “He doesn’t like me interfering in anything he considers ‘his’. Don’t you wonder why he threw me out when I was teaching him?”

“You mean when you were being condescending and slightly rude?” Svadilfari asked

“And superior, don’t forget” Balder pointed out “It will be the same thing here. I wouldn’t be surprised if he fights me on this”

“You will fight him?” Svadilfari smirked, flicking Balder’s chin “Over me? Little old me?”

Balder rolled his eyes “I never said that”

“Aye, you did” Svadilfari grinned

“I did not, stay away” Balder gave him a shove “Someone might see”

He looked around to check for guards, servants, anyone, but when no one came over, he relaxed just a little. His blue eyes were shining with joy and he was beaming.

He really looked lovely.

“Then why don’t we…” Svadilfari reached over and tugged on Balder’s collar “Take this to our usual place?”

Balder tipped his head up and smirked at him “You wish to plunder me in the royal chambers?”

“I wish to plunder you anywhere you want” Svadilfari growled, pulling him close to kiss the side of his lips.

Balder closed his eyes and kissed him proper after a moment, humming into it before he allowed him to retreat. His eyes looked into Svadilfari’s and he smiled slowly.

“Then follow me, my lover” Balder whispered

“Lead the way, my prince” Svadilfari stole one more kiss and let him go

But he couldn’t resist smacking Balder’s rear as the prince turned, making him yelp so deliciously and move to hit him. Svadilfari only dragged him into his arms and kissed him so it was a situation where he won completely.

***

It was the fourth day now, since he was imprisoned here and Loki could hardly find a thing to complain about. True, he was brought here without consent, pushed into this life without a choice and that his new owner was someone Loki hated with a vengeance, but when it came to actually living here, he was rather comfortable.

There were no lessons, no reading, no training, no punishments, no dinners where he had to behave, no bright lights – after an incident, Olivier had made sure to keep everything dark – no loud noises – another incident ensured it – and absolutely no Thor.

It was like after purchasing him, Thor was just easy with leaving him alone. He hadn’t come back from wherever he had gone and left Loki to his own devices. A huge part of Loki was glad but another part was worried, scared that Thor had something nasty planned for him. That he was biding his time until Loki was driven mad.

That had to be the reason.

Why else would Loki be given anything he needed, without him asking? He had clothes, books, freedom – to an extent – and a large enough chamber to fit his house in nine times. Or something like that.

Interrogating Olivier had gotten him no results, the boy didn’t know more than Loki did. In fact, Loki was sure that in the time he interrogated Olivier, he ended up telling him vital parts of the story the servant was missing.

He had seemed to want to help Loki genuinely and even asked him what he preferred in terms of meals and clothing.

And that was where Loki was shocked at himself.

It jarred him that he mentioned the things that he was supposed to like without even noticing. He told him he liked dancing, he told him his clothes needed to be exposing, he told him he was supposed to eat less so he stayed slim and told him he liked to do the things Taneleer had told him to like.

It had only been when he looked upon Olivier’s shocked face that Loki realized what he had done and he spent the rest of the day hidden in the small chambers he was given, talking to himself. His hands were over his ears and he mumbled to himself, telling himself to remember. What was he like before he was caught? What did he like to do?

It was so, so damn hard for him to remember and it scared him. He didn’t even know how long he had been there, his face stained with tears until he felt someone wrap their arms around him from behind. He’d startled and fought but when Olivier told him to calm, he did. When Olivier told him to breathe, he did and then Olivier helped him up and onto the couch, rubbing his back and telling him that it was alright.

Loki was going to be alright.

And foolishly, or perhaps he was desperate, Loki believed him. He wanted to be alright, he had to be.

Olivier told him to relax, so he did, he told Loki to sleep, so he did and in the middle of the night, Loki woke once more, to discover that he was following orders.

It was terrifying.

So he made himself forget it, made himself think of other things.

And that was when he found the books. Uncaring if he was allowed or not, Loki sat down to read.

His Aesir was broken, but soon enough he managed to read, asking for the meanings of a few words he didn’t understand and thanking Olivier when he got the answer.

His recovery would be slow, he was traumatized, but it didn’t help him at all, the knowledge, all it did was make him angry.

Or angrier than he was.

Olivier helped as much as he could but Loki suspected that this was more a personal war than anything. He would have to win this on his own.

He still felt awkward around Olivier, especially since the man had come upon him when Loki had stupid tears running down his face, so he felt easier when he was alone. It was something Olivier thankfully picked up on early and left him be.

Loki still got everything he needed, but he also got privacy – which was why he couldn’t much complain.

Unless he really wanted to, there was little other than his imprisonment that he could complain about.

Right now, he was sitting on the window seat in Thor’s living area, watching the grounds and sunlight outside. He wanted to go step on the grass and Olivier told him he could when Thor got back, but Loki was impatient.

What the hell was Thor doing that took him four days to do? He wasn’t on a mission or a hunt, his weapons were still here, he wasn’t doing something with his friends, all his friends were here. He was not doing anything good, all his manners and chivalry were gone.

It had to be something unbelievably important.

Olivier was gone once more, as Loki liked, so the Jotun had free reign of the chambers. They were still locked, mercifully, so he could do as he pleased.

Lunch wouldn’t arrive till he asked so, he was basically as free as he could be.

Loki huffed and set his book aside, busying himself with watching the landscape outside. It was beautiful, bright, meant to be painted.

And Loki was someone who could paint.

Loki would never paint, he knew he was taught, but he wouldn’t ever lift a paintbrush.

He sighed and stretched his legs, wiggling his toes and thought about taking a nice, cooling bath.

The servant’s door opened somewhere and Loki rolled his eyes, hoping Olivier didn’t come here to work. He rather liked his solitude right now.

Without saying anything, he made his way to the guest room he’d been given and closed the door, tossing his book on the bed so he could go start his bath. It was nice and Loki always liked the feeling of being clean after he thought about something even remotely related to Taneleer.

Even his name made Loki want to hide.

Gods, he was messed up.

Loki kicked the bathroom shut lightly with his heel as he went inside and started the bath.

The tub was small here, Thor’s was very much bigger and Loki resented him for it. There were spouts on all four sides there, Loki’s had only two. He watched the water fall from them and fill the tub, thinking about how Thor’s would be large enough to swim in if Loki wanted.

The floor of the tub was dark blue and as it filled, Loki watched his reflection ripple, contorted and broken. It seemed to be somewhat like he was on the inside, he thought bitterly, and turned away to undress. Inside, and since no one would ever see him, Loki dressed casually. He had on plain, loose clothing, often sleeveless, cooling him in the Asgard weather. He missed the cold. And Asgard was so unwelcoming.

Loki pulled off his tunic and tossed it aside, ignoring the faint knocking on the outside door. he didn’t know why Olivier did it, Loki never let him in.

The cooler air of the bathroom was soothing to his skin and he quickly divested the rest of his clothes, stepping into the still filling bath.

The light was dim here, it always was, Loki couldn’t stand bright lighting. He was illuminated by it, that was what he made himself comfortable in and he was fine with it. The water was a cool blessing and Loki raised his hands, brushing his hair back.

His faint lines were clearly visible now and so were the marks, the scratches and faint scars left by Taneleer’s trainers. They were clearly on display, too. Loki’s eyes shut as the water went up to his knees. He slowly lowered himself into the water, laying in the tub.

His eyes closed and Loki hummed softly, feeling the water calm him. He sunk in, covering his ears and felt the silence around him. Deep, distant rumbling, his own heartbeat and the lull of the water pacified him and he felt relaxed.

Loki closed his eyes and he couldn’t hear, he couldn’t see.

It was glorious, knowing he could be this calm. So, he breathed, the water bubbling and gurgling as he listened to it, his hands weightless in the water.

There was no burden upon them to move, no need for him to feel bad about them. He was freed for now and that was all he wanted.

It was the closest he would feel to having his magic back.

Loki stayed in the water for a long time, not truly wanting to get out, but eventually he ended up scenting the water, bathing as much as he wanted, then stepping out. Everything felt louder but he knew that it would take time for it to settle. All he wanted now was clean clothes and his bed.

He just wanted to sleep, the bath having made him lazy and relaxed.

He wouldn’t have anything to worry about, no one knew he was here.

Loki used a towel to dry his hair and another to dry himself so he didn’t drip water everywhere. There was a robe hanging behind the towel, lovely and so crisp. Loki let the towels drop to his feet and put it on, pulling off the one on his head. He ran it over his hair, shaking it, leaving the carnage his bath left, behind him and headed to the room he had, whistling softly.

He opened the door, trudged into the room and froze.

His hand still drying his hair, a slightly damp robe around him, his feet bare, Loki felt his heart jam into his throat when he saw a man sitting on his bed, his single eye focused on him.

“Hello” Odin, King of Asgard and the most powerful man alive, spoke “You must be the husband my son ordered”

Loki swallowed and failed to say a single word, his world suddenly seeming to collapse on him.

***

To say that Gavel was unbelievably pleased at having the future King of Asgard in his home was an understatement. He was downright beaming with pride at the fact.

It was Thor! Prince Thor, on his doorstep, in his cape, in his home, right there, Prince Thor! Their meeting must have gone better than planned because norns be damned, he was here! His greedy little heart was pounding in his chest and Gavel tripped over his own feet to lead Thor to a place in his house, in his expensive drawing room.

His wife had been notified and called, the servants were scared into obeying everything that their master said. They were going to serve the prince! Who knew this day would come!?

No one.

No one knew and Gavel was eager to boast about it.

He sat Thor in the drawing room and personally went to fetch his wife, beautiful Lady Freya, to show his lordship that she was every bit as beautiful as he had expected. Thor would writhe in jealousy.

Only when he went to get her, Freya told him she was unwell and couldn’t come see Thor.

It was alright, the prince said, perhaps he could talk to Gavel as he wanted. But perhaps he could have a little of his famous port. Eager to please, the lord had rushed and gotten the prince some, having more than Thor did.

It was good, Thor told himself, the more he drank, the more likely he would be to pass out.

And he could meet Freya as he longed to. His heart needed soothing.

He said whatever Gavel wanted him to and listened to him with all the passion bland pudding held.

The bright smile Gavel levelled his way nearly melted Thor’s face off, but he kept on his conversation, telling him he wanted to talk to him about something urgent.

Then, in the middle, he droned on and on about something completely boring – his father’s lectures – and was delighted to find that only forty minutes into it, Gavel was asleep. His disgusting snores radiated sounded louder than Thor’s thunder and the prince made a face when he felt them shake his ribs.

Disgusting.

The prince stood and slowly stretched his legs, popped his back and downed his port. With Gavel asleep and alcohol in him, Thor felt easier, lighter, as he made his way to Freya’s room.

He saw no servant, but he was sure they saw him, heading upstairs with the confidence of someone who knew where to go. He knew where Freya slept, after all.

 As he climbed the marble stairs, Thor thought about what he had seen. His mind was still in shambles and he went to her room, thinking about what he would say.

Thor knocked once and pushed the knob down, walking right in…

…only to freeze in horror when he saw Freya laying on the floor, blood caked on the front of her dress, dried and crusted, her eyes opened and looking at nothing. The smell of death filled the room and Thor couldn’t breathe.

He couldn’t breathe!

“No…” the gasp left his lips and he stumbled forward, rushing to her “No…”

Thor fell to his knees beside her, his eyes wide, filled with tears, his mouth parted in shock.

“Oh gods….” Thor gasped, reaching over with shaking hands to touch her.

Cold to the touch.

She was stiff!

She had been here for days!

A low, sad noise escaped Thor as he held her, as he tried to let go, unable to think beyond anything other than the fact that she was wearing the clothes she had when he last saw her, when he kissed her goodbye, when he promised to see her again.

Not like this…

Not like this!

Tears slipped from his eyes as he looked down at her, unbelievable pain throbbing through him, blood rushing through his ears, his heart torn into bits!

He couldn’t think, he couldn’t move.

He couldn’t hear the steps of the man coming up behind him.

“Well…” Gavel, clearly awake, coherent and mad, walked in “I see you found she is feeling ill”

Thor gasped, turning to look at the man, his hand clenched in her clothes. As though she could do something.

His mouth opened, but he words came forth and Thor’s eyes fell on the dangerous looking vial in Gavel’s hand, a greenish potion swirling in it. His other hand held a dagger, glinting with coagulated blood.

Her blood.

Freya’s blood!

“You thought you were so clever” Gavel approached “So subtle about what you did here. You were so eager to take her from me, now who is losing something!?”

Thor raised a hand and retreated from the mad man.

“You killed her” Thor whispered, wiping his face “You killed your own wife, how could you?”

“She deserved it!” Gavel shouted at him “Going to every man other than me, loving everyone other than me, she deserved this!”

His hand nearly lashed in rage and the vial jolted, splashing the liquid on the carpet. A sick, hissing noise erupted upon it and a wisp of smoke told Thor all he needed.

This was acid.

Highly concentrated, lethal acid, clearly meant for him.

“She was fine till you came here, she was mine!” Gavel roared at Thor “You think I wouldn’t find out about you, boy?”

Thor raised a hand to ward him away, at a serious disadvantage as he was crouched and unable to truly get away. And Gavel was dangerous.

“Think about this” Thor reasoned, his voice shaking “Think about what you are doing, you can’t hurt a prince!”

“I am not hurting a prince, I am hurting a homewrecker!” Gavel snapped at him

With Thor so close, he hurled the contents of the vial, aiming at the prince’s face. Thor was prepared for the attack and he turned his face away, arm raised, but nothing prepared him for what happened next.

He felt as though water was thrown all over him, then he was on fire. His body was on fire and he cried out when his skin and flesh started to simmer as though it was boiling! He rolled on the carpet, trying to get it off but all he smelled was burnt flesh, all he felt was his skin being peeled off, all he felt was agony and he threw his cape off.

The thick acid had fallen on his shoulder and back, the chemicals burned through his protective cape, his clothes, then his bare skin. Searing it. Pain shot through his body and Thor yelled, forcing himself to go to the window, to drag himself there even as Gavel approached.

He heard shouts and yells, he heard someone call his name but he was at the window, pulling himself out, dragging himself away from the fire that he was wearing on his shoulders.

But the next moment his world spun and he was falling towards a rapidly  and very familiar approaching stone pavement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY SOOO I owe you guys an explanation as to why this is so late.  
> The answer is threefold.
> 
> 1\. I lost my internet. And because they were 'working on it' it took three days instead of the original 24 hours they promise. And it's not that they are a bad company, this was just unfortunate.
> 
> 2\. I had to leave the city. Nothing major just personal problems I won't bore you with unless you want me to. If you DO want, then send me a message here: satanssyn-n-things.tumblr.com
> 
> 3\. My laptop decided to be a jerk and lose what files I had. YEP all of them, it's just to the very basics now. I am so sorry. I hope to be better!
> 
> love ya! Tell me what you think of this evil shit I pulled


	7. Relief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why do you suddenly care?” Loki asked “I’m a tool for you to get your hammer back”

The paralyzing alarm went through his body, pouring from the top of his head to the soles of his feel like icy, freezing metal. It locked him in place as he stood there, his eyes wide, his hair still damp, his hand still shaking as it cradled his head, trying to dry it. His legs twitched, desperate to give in to the impulse to whirl around and run back into the bathroom and lock himself inside till this was over.

But that seemed like a bad idea because one look in the single eye of the King of Asgard told him to.

There was no place for him to go, Loki realized, especially when Odin stood and approached him. Loki stumbled back, his feet as heavy as lead, and he clutched the damp towel closer to his chest, saying the only thing he could think of.

“Please,” Loki whispered, feeling, to his shame, his eyes prickle “Let – Let me wear clothes, I just need clothes…”

He felt vulnerable, completely naked and he longed for something to protect him. It made him feel like Taneleer would come over, force him into those outfits he loathed.

“No” Odin spoke firmly, catching up to him and showing that Loki hadn’t really even stepped back “You come with me, _Jotun_ ”

He spoke his race with disgust and Loki flinched when the man grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the room.

“Majesty!” Loki pleaded, pulling against him “Please, let me explain!”

“Explain?” Odin snarled, turning to look at him, his eyes angry “Explain what, exactly? That my son purchased you for half a million gold that he thought I wouldn’t notice!?”

He gave Loki an angry shake and Loki felt his heart start to pound loudly in his chest as the loud, almost unbearable tone. He was a smothering sort of pressure all around him and Loki didn’t know if he was merciful or not.

Probably not, because the only mercy – if it could be called that – Odin gave him was that he took him no further than the living room. He reached a large chair, one that Loki sat and read in every so often, and tossed the young man on it.  Loki fell against it, curling up and holding his robe closed to keep himself decent. He looked at Odin, his eyes shining, his body curled up as he truly _cowered_ from this man.

Odin looked ferocious, so much so that Loki saw, from the corner of his eye, Ruben dart away and hide. The lucky animal, it was. Loki’s attention went back to Odin with a soft, sharp inhale when the King took a step forward and it was then that Loki saw the rolled up papers in his hand.

His sale deed.

This was how Odin knew.

“Taneleer Tivan” Odin snarled “You are one of his whores. My son bought you from that slime. Why?”

Loki swallowed heavily and looked at him, trying to muster some courage at least, because this was embarrassing.

“I – I don’t know” Loki told him “He h-had me trained, to do things, to know h-how to please him in the bed chambers, Majesty, I swear, I don’t want to be here, I didn’t want any of this”

Odin narrowed his eye “You’re a Jotun. You are here, in Asgard, your enemy realm, do you know what sort of punishment awaits you?”

“I didn’t choose to be here!” Loki’s voice broke at the end “He kidnapped me, he forced me, he tortured me into this life, I am a prisoner!”

“Silence!” Odin boomed, making Loki shrink back again “You are living the life of luxury, bought by the use of your body, tainting the Odinson name with your filth!”

His hand clenched around and crushed the papers he held. Clearly he had read them all.

“You will be put to death” Odin said “For tainting my kingdom”

Loki’s eyes went wide in horror and he shook his head “No, wait, Majesty, please, exile me, let me go home, I beg you!”

“So you can tell everyone what you saw? So word will spread and dishonour come to Thor’s name?” Odin stepped back when Loki reached for him pleadingly “No. I will not allow it. You will be executed when the sun rises, that is final!”

The doors to Thor’s chambers banged open and Loki’s hand went to his throat when he saw two heavily muscled guards standing there, chains in his hands. Those blasted chains again!

He felt his eyes fill with tears and he could do nothing, there was no sense in running, in trying to escape, as they walked forward on Odin’s command.

“Toss him in the cells” Odin said “Interrogate him, find out what he knows. Use any means necessary”

Loki turned his head away, into the back of the sofa, his eyes shut as he heard them come near, as felt them take a hold of his wrist.

“Halt!”

A commanding, crisp and sharp as a whip voice broke through them and the guards stopped. Loki lifted his head, his eyes, his face, desperate as he looked at the person who had spoken.

For once, there was command in her eyes instead of mischief, for once, she was looking down at Odin, despite him being so tall.

“Don’t you dare touch him” Bestla, Elder Queen of Asgard spoke “Step back, all of you”

“Mother, this is not the time” Odin rumbled as the guards retreated “This boy…”

“Is a victim” Bestla walked forth, her expensive robes billowing behind her “your victim, the victim of the monsters who did this to him and the victim of your son. Have you no shame? Yelling at him, scaring him? If he was here to do damage, do you think he would wait?”

“He’s biding his time” Odin said “He’s a dirty prostitute! Look at this!”

He held out the papers for his mother, who gave them a quick glance and hummed. Then she slowly raised a finger and pointed it to Thor’s name, his signature at the bottom.

“Look at _this_ ” she said softly, her voice no less lethal “Perhaps you should talk to your own child before you attack someone who is caught in all this”

“He’s a Jotun” Odin rasped, his face dangerous

“I don’t care” Bestla hissed right back, then turned and walked to Loki, taking her cape off so she could cover him.

“Mother, I know your eccentricities range to the absurd but this is not acceptable” Odin growled “I will not let you take him”

“Then stop me” Bestla looked at him, open challenge in her eyes as she covered Loki “Go on, do it”

The guards didn’t move, stuck between this entire affair, lost. In the distance, Olivier watched with morbid fascination and Ruben watched from beneath his hiding place.

Loki couldn’t look, he couldn’t lift his head to even glance at Odin, but he felt her soft hands brush his hair back and gently pull him into a sitting position.

Nothing happened.

Odin didn’t speak or move and Loki was glad for the mercy that came in the form of this woman.

The elder Queen.

“Come” Bestla fixed Loki up as best she could “You can stay with me till Thor comes back and explains all of this. No one will touch you”

“Mother…” Odin began

“I said” Bestla looked at him, warning in her eyes “No one” 

She watched her son grit his jaw but stayed unable to say anything as she led Loki away, barefoot and barely covered.

Loki didn’t look up from the floor, but his shaking hands held one of Bestla’s so tight, she would undoubtedly hand marks from her rings imprinted on her fingers. But she didn’t stop, not once.

Not until the door closed with a heavy thud behind them and Olivier followed, obeying her order to bring Loki’s clothes to her parlour.

***

He was brought to into a world of pain.

His eyes were glazed over, blood seeped from just about wherever he felt it and he was barely conscious.

His normally golden skin was ashen, his sunny hair was caked in blood, constantly seeping from the gash that cracked his head open. It was warm, but became cold instantly, another stinging pain to his already broken form.

His arm was twisted, he felt his back burn, his shoulder, even his neck. It was hard to bear but when he wanted to cry out, a hand was placed over his lips.

He was moving, laying on something hard that didn’t ease the torment he was in at all. it jerked and shook, making it near impossible for him to find any way to slip back into unconsciousness. He heard voices, a cold hand, trapped his words, his sounds, not letting them past his lips.

“Hurry up” a rough voice said “The sooner we rid of him, the better”

There was a slurred reply and then, darkness once more.

It didn’t last long, the darkness, mostly because someone had placed a bag over his head, he heard, still, as badly as he could, the sounds around him. When the bag was removed, Thor could see – barely. There was a familiar sky, a familiar mountainside.

“Toss him”

And a familiar sound of water.

His eyes opened and for the first time since it happened, Thor could see properly.

In the distance, stood the rainbow bridge and below him, as he was tipped headfirst into it, was the magnificent sea that lay beneath it, bursting with life.

Thor tried to hold on to something, tried to stop his descent but he could not. He slipped slowly off whatever they were carrying him on – a cart of vessel – and flew, once more, flying onto a familiar surface, bleeding and burning and broken.

He hit the water with a huge splash, the chilling sea paralyzing him instantly. His armor, though heavy, was not enough to make him sink and he floated to the surface, useless as a ragdoll. He couldn’t even hold his head up, but prayed instead that the lolling waves somehow granted him breath, then taking enough to sustain himself when he was given the chance.

It was torture, pure in its form, threatening to burst his lungs.

He couldn’t control any part of himself and he couldn’t breathe! It was ending him, it really was.

In the distance, he heard a thrumming and he didn’t know what it meant but he prayed it was something that helped him.

“Prince Thor!”

Floating, barely, Thor opened his tired eyes, his wet hair distorting his vision to see the vague shape of an Aesir patrol ship beside him. Two men reached out for him and he groaned at the immense pain induced upon him as they pulled him up.

“By the norns…”

“Take this back to the palace, now!”

Thor was covered by something, but he lay lifeless looking at the guard’s feet, listening to the tone of his voice. He couldn’t make out a word, but he saw his lips moving.

“Hold on, my lord…” he deciphered

He couldn’t reply and he lay there, hurt and damaged, letting them take him where they could get him help.

Thor might have passed out, it was impossible not to, because when he woke, he was warm. He was so blessedly warm that he didn’t want to move. His pains were soothed, the burning he felt was gone and his stinging, harsh pain had subsided.

There was a dull rumbling somewhere beside him and when he managed to open his aching eyes, he saw Odin speaking softly to a healer, sitting next to his son in a chair. It was by no means comfortable, but it was close to Thor, which was all Odin wanted.

The healer had a few vials in his hands and he was telling Odin about them while the King listened, asking the appropriate questions before he went silent. The healer bowed and departed, Odin nodded to him and exhaled.

The door clicked shut and Odin looked at the vials, his face openly worried, scared and he looked ready to break down.

And for the first time in a long time, Thor wanted to go to his father and let him soothe his pain.

He longed for it.

A soft sound escaped Thor’s lips, but Odin heard and he looked up, going completely still when he saw him awake.

“Thor” Odin whispered, putting the vials aside and standing.

Thor didn’t think he could move, so he watched his father come over, brush his hair back, look into his face.

“By the norns, I thought you wouldn’t ever wake!” Odin kissed his head, his hand seeking out and holding Thor’s “What happened to you?”

And it hit Thor, all of it. The pain, seeing her there, dead, seeing her in his arms, dead for three days, killed for loving him. He saw his tears, felt his heart rip apart within his chest, a pain he was convinced was more than anything else. He saw himself fall from the window, his body crushed from the impact of his landing, felt someone put him on a cart like a pile of sacks then thrown into the water.

Merciless, cold hearted and cruel, his treatment was cruel.

He was thrown away like garbage, uncaring if he died or not. He was hurt, he was so hurt he couldn’t move and they threw him away.

Like trash.

It blocked his sense and he wanted to confess everything to Odin, he wanted to tell him who they killed and what they did to him. He wanted to be a child again and have his father hold him, to fix him, to help him heal and to cry.

Thor wanted to cry to Odin, to make him fix all of it, to have him know, to have someone know who he lost.

She was dead.

Freya was dead! And her murderer tried to kill him!

He wanted Odin to fix it!

It was childish but that was what he wanted, he wanted to tattle. He wanted Odin to do something!

“Who did this, Thor?” Odin asked “Tell me, I will destroy them”

Thor looked at his father and licked his lips.

Odin would fix it.

All Thor needed to do was tell him. That he was having an affair with Lady Freya, that he was falling for her and her husband killed her, then tried to murder him, burn him with acid and to escape, Thor leapt out of a window. He leapt to his death like a coward.

“I don’t know” Thor said, his voice foreign to his own ears “I don’t know who it was, I didn’t see them”

He couldn’t tell him.

He couldn’t bring himself to.

Odin frowned “Thor, they burned your back with acid. They broke your skull, your arms, your legs…you didn’t see them?”

Thor felt his eyes water – how absolutely shameful – and shook his head, hissing when it hurt.

“Easy, don’t move” Odin placed a hand on his shoulder gently “This will take time, you are still healing”

Thor closed his eyes and Odin sighed softly, his own heart breaking at the crippling pain his son was in.

He sat beside him, on the edge of the bed and stroked his back where it wasn’t burnt. He knew Thor was hiding something, he knew there was no way that Thor hadn’t seen who had done this.

But he wasn’t saying anything and that scared Odin, it truly did.

Thor was someone who didn’t mind using his influence wherever he wanted he was proud of who he was, almost to a fault. He was a prince and he knew that anyone who harmed him would face serious consequences. So, when he was hiding the name of the person who tried to kill him, it scared Odin, it truly did.

Thor wasn’t one to hide and Odin was afraid to know the reason why he wasn’t saying anything.

***

Even with Asgard’s healing mages and the plump, talented and very intimidating when she wanted to be, Eir it took two days for Thor to heal enough to be able to breathe by himself the intensive care section of the palace healing wing.

Word has spread faster than Odin thought possible and there were mountains of flowers and presents placed outside the palace gates, prayers tied to the grills, men and women standing there, all of them awaiting the recovery of the future King Thor.

It touched Odin and he changed his morning riding course to go past the palace gates, thanking everyone who was there and taking their hands within his own as they prayed for his son.

Balder was devastated and he spent more time outside the healing wing than anyone else. He stayed up all night, monitoring Thor as he slept, talking to him softly, but getting no response. Bestla brought her own brand of magic and it helped more than anything Odin had ever seen. Thor was barely awake and Odin feared that his damage might be permanent, he didn’t wish it to be, he never would, but it was what he feared.

He couldn’t stop thinking about it. Every time he saw Thor, his heart stopped and he wanted to fall to his knees and cry.

He’d lost his wife – he refused to lose his son.

The King of Asgard sat now, away from the palace, in a rich club and resort, sipping the second best wine he had ever tasted. The best was, of course, in his own home, placed in his chambers, but for some reason, he didn’t want to go there.

It smothered him, like he felt smothered when Gaia died.

Eyvindr had told him to take the day off and insisted that he go. Then he started to nag him and as vengeance, and possibly because he didn’t want to go alone, Odin made him tag along.

It was bound to start so many rumors, Eyvindr hissed at him the entire way.

He could have at least gotten him another horse! Eyvindr growled at him as they reached the tavern.

Odin had only smiled, ruffled his hair and led him into the club, eager to try and ease himself, just a little.

And not give himself a failed heart, Eyvindr helpfully told him.

Odin had muttered something about regret and his valet beamed, watching and waiting respectfully aside as the king booked them a lovely veranda overlooking the club’s well stocked lake. Odin had thought that they would come to fish here as a family when Thor was able.

And norns, he wished Thor would be able.

Seeing him lying there like that, it did something to Odin’s heart. His poor boy was so deeply hurt.

“Best not grimace, my lord, we have company” Eyvindr muttered, rapidly straightening from the lounging position he had taken as he sipped something called ‘Insanity’.

Odin turned to where his valet looked and felt his stomach clench when he saw her again.

The woman from the ball.

Her auburn hair was curled at the ends, her face serene and her blue, beautiful eyes looking right at him. She was wearing a simple grey dress, but it looked like it was made for her. It accentuated her curves so gracefully that Odin couldn’t help but stare.

She didn’t walk, she glided and Odin was stuck in place, despite noting that he was barely three feet away from him.

The first thing he realized was that she had the most beautiful eyes he had seen anywhere and that her lips were curved into an amused, all knowing smile.

It became apparent why she was smiling not two seconds later when Eyvindr helpfully clicked Odin’s gaping jaw shut with a finger under his chin.

“Please excuse the King, he isn’t well” his valet bowed to her.

It brought Odin back and he cleared his throat, quickly standing up.

“Forgive me” he said, looking at the ground – norns, even her sandaled feet were beautiful – as he spoke “I was… elsewhere”

“Understandable” the lady smiled “Quite alright, I assure you, my lord. I merely came to extend my sympathies at hearing about your son. I am truly sorry”     

Odin gave her a wan smile and Eyvindr silently picked up his drink, then left the two be.

“I thank you, lady…” Odin gestured to a seat

“Frigga” she said, her voice melodious to him “Frigga of the Vanir”

“Lady Frigga, please sit” Odin bowed to her as she glided over to sit in Eyvindr’s vacated seat “What can I get you? A drink? Perhaps some cheese and crackers?”

“Anything you wish to have, King” she smiled as she sat there with all the grace of a cat.

King

Oh the word shouldn’t affect him as it did. So, to calm his suddenly pounding heart, he turned to call for his Valet.

“Eyvindr …”

“Aye, my lord?”

The boy, nay menace, was hiding from sight against the wall, listening, and Odin narrowed his eyes a moment before he inclined his head.

“Tell them to fetch their best port, their collection of dried fruit and cheese crackers” Odin told him, watching him depart before he turned to the woman next to him.

“My lady” Odin sat, legs crossed “I am touched that you came all this way, I really am”

Frigga smiled at him sadly “The whole kingdom is in pain, I know, but none as much as you and your family. If there is anything I can do, please tell me.”

“Your asking is more than enough” Odin bowed his head “The healers are well versed, I hope that is enough”

“Nay, you don’t understand” Frigga laughed softly “I am a seidrist, a master at the healing arts. I have taught most palace healers, including your Lady Eir. She was one of my greatest students. When I heard what happened, I came to Asgard with the intention of meeting the Elder Queen and ask to help. But as it happened, I heard you were here and couldn’t waste time so I ask you. What can I do?”

Odin blinked at her, stumped again, then shook his head “You can help him?”

“To my full potential”

It made Odin’s heart skip a beat when she reached over and took his large hand in her soft, smaller ones.

“My King” she said “Your mother looked after me for a long time. I cannot tell you what I owe her. This will be my way of trying to repay her in some small way. Let me help, I know I can”

Odin was sure she felt his pulse but cared naught at the moment, the hope of Thor being healed dominating his mind.

“I will give you whatever you ask for” he breathed, looking at her “if you help him”

“I ask for nothing, my King” Frigga smiled “I know what it is like, seeing a child in pain. I cannot allow someone, whom I can help, to feel the same”

She smiled at him, her expression serene, and Odin felt his face heat up.

She was a stunning woman and he quickly looked down.

“I – I will…” he cleared his throat “Make preparations to leave, then”

He stood and Frigga watched him appear completely flustered as he avoided looking at her and dusted his clothes down.

“Let me get a carriage, Lady Frigga, you wouldn’t want to ride me” Odin said, then gasped in horror a moment later “Ride _with_ me! With me, I swear, my lady, I wouldn’t, I didn’t…”

Frigga raised a hand to stop him, trying not to burst out giggling “Please prepare, I will fetch my cloak”

The King of Asgard was red in the face, stumbling over his apologies, his feet, his dignity as he all but fled, leaving Frigga behind.

She smiled, snickered softly to herself and shook her head before she went to get her cloak and medical herbs.

***

Thor jolted, his eyes opening automatically when he felt the cool hands on his face. The whites of his eyes were red now, proof of the horrible state he was in and the blurred face of a woman looked upon him with concern unmasked.

Frigga was genuinely frightened at his state and realized that this was caused by the bleeding that was no doubt taking place within his skull.

“He is in danger” she whispered, slowly retracting his hands

She spread them over his form, slowly forming an image above him, floating over his form, enabling her to see whatever damage was inside.

“I know this” she whispered “I have healed this before”

Behind her, a hand over his chest, Odin watched carefully. He knew little of medicine and healing, but the image Frigga conjured and the way she and Eir spoke softly were evidence enough to tell him how close he was to losing his son.

“I need to find the fissure, close it, then slowly undo its damage” Frigga said, mostly speaking to herself “these other things will follow, I just need to get my magic fine enough”

“You intend to do it manually?” Eir stilled “That’s dangerous”

“Have you seen his eyes?” Frigga asked “That’s blood, dear, sign of major brain damage. If I do not fix this, Thor will cease to be. I think that is more dangerous, is it not?”

Eir hummed and looked at the spots on the image Frigga was pointing to and marking. She intended to go in there, with tendrils of magic and force Thor to heal. She hoped it would work, it was extremely risky. She hadn’t tried it because she was afraid and she was a master healer.

“I will need the room to be very silent in a few minutes” Frigga spoke without taking her eyes off the reflected image of Thor’s insides before her, marking yet another spot where she sensed damage on him “So if there are any healers who need not be here, I would be eternally grateful for them to depart”

There were no words spoken, but Odin gave a light glare to each and every healer. Those who were not instantly needed rushed to the door, making little to no sound. Odin watched them leave, then watched the few who stayed cast soft spells that made them and their few patients soundless.

As Frigga wanted, there was no sound in the healing chambers.

“Alright” she whispered after she had marked the last of the spots she would get to “Fifteen spots”

She straightened and took a deep breath, then looked at Eir.

“Please escort his Majesty to the halls, Lady Eir”

That made Odin frown “What?”

“You standing there makes this ten times harder for me, my King” Frigga said without looking “This is your child, I will not have the excuse of saying that I had too much pressure on me with you watching, I have enough of it as it is. Please leave”

Eir looked at Odin and saw the fight in his eyes. He wantred to stay, he wanted to overlook this, but he didn’t want to jeopardize it. For a few seconds, Eir didn’t know what he would do, then Odin nodded his head, inhaled deeply and straightened from where he was leaning against the wall.

“Let me know what … what happens” he said, keeping his gaze away from Thor

He couldn’t look at him, not when he was this broken, not when he had so much damage that his eyes were filled with blood.

Odin’s steps were heavy but he went outside and into the hallway to be alone. The doors closed with a soft finality behind him and Odin shut his eyes, rubbing the bridge of his nose as he did. Tears still slipped from his lid and he tried to keep calm, tried to remain standing even as his knees threatened to buckle.

He wouldn’t live if Thor didn’t.

Odin was going to die with him, he knew it.

Inhaled deeply, Odin looked up, his face red, tears shining over his cheek, so he could calm himself. But when he opened his eye he saw Bestla, Balder, Eyvindr and Svadilfari standing there, waiting for him.

Seeing them all there, but especially his mother, had him break and Odin walked into her waiting arms, letting her comfort him.

“Hush, my darling” Bestla whispered, holding him tightly “It will be well. Thor will make it”

Odin rubbed his face into her shoulder, his shivering form comforted by her, soothed by her as best it could be.

“His eyes were filled with blood…” Odin whispered “His eyes…”

“I know” Bestla said “ I know, Eir told me. She told me everything, my love, and she told me Thor would make it. He will make it”

He had to make it.

Bestla didn’t even think of the other possibility.

Not with the latest development in their lives and how it would affect the kingdom.

She brushed back Odin’s hair and kissed his head, calming him as much as she was capable of doing.

***

It worked.

The spell, the hours she spent, the pain the put in, the toll, the agony that went through her body, mind and spirit was finally worth it. Frigga could feel the relief swell within her chest as the last of the damage because undone.

A horrible click had sounded, faintly, signalling that Thor’s final injury was deal with. The danger was over, the torment had ended. Thor opened his eyes and they were slowly fading back to white, the blue looking brighter than it had before. His arms were put back together, so were his legs. Almost everything was the way it had been before and it was a miracle.

Almost, aye, because even though she had soothed and healed the burnt skin on his back and shoulders, the scars remained. They tore through his tattoos, ripping them apart with brutal intent. They started, Frigga saw, from the right shoulder blade, spanning over it till the shoulder, then down, evidence of the path the acid took as it travelled down his back, stopping just at his hip. He was scarred, badly, for life.

But she saved him.

And oh, what gratitude she received. She had saved a child, aye, but when the Queen grabbed her hands and kissed them, she felt ashamed. She felt as though she was much below this and could only try and stop her. But then came the prince, Prince Balder, whi fell to his knees before her, thanking her, over and over. She couldn’t believe it, she said they didn’t have to but she was still treated as though she saved the kingdom.

She felt it most when she looked up and saw King Odin looking at her, looking as though he would break himself apart trying to give her his thank you. He’d kissed her hands, pressed them to his forehead and prayed for her, thanked her and insisted that she stay in the palace and that they pay for her stay in the tavern.

It was too much, so much that she couldn’t handle it and begged permission to sleep. She pleaded exhaustion, which was somewhat true, but mostly she needed to be alone.

Their pain made her eyes fill with tears and she found herself seeking solitude in the lavish guest room in the palace’s Royal Wing. It was an honor to be invited and to have the opportunity to stay here, but for her, it was peace.

Peace where she could finally let loose her own torment as she operated on a boy as old as her own had been.

And oh, how that pain broke her heart in two and she sunk to the floor, her form sliding down the door as she lost her control and wept once more, for her baby.

The solace soothed her, being alone soothed her and soon enough, as she controlled herself enough to change and get beneath the covers, sleep soothed her again.

But the Kingdom was anything but sleeping.

Odin had made the announcement himself, from the front terrace, looking the gathered people in the eye as he told them that their prayers, gifts and good wishes were received well by the norns and that Prince Thor was on the mend. He would wake up in his own chambers after nearly three days of being in a comatose, nearly dead state. He told them little of what happened, nothing at all about this being intentional. He told them the prince suffered an accident while riding, nothing at all about the burns. He didn’t know anything and Thor was not telling him,

Perhaps, Odin would ask him later, distract everyone else with a feast thrown in Thor’s honour and get to the bottom of all this. Because he had two things Thor needed to confess about.

One was his obvious injury, who did it and why.

The second was the mysterious Loki and what he had to do with everything. He knew he had to be involved, there was no other choice for him.

The Jotun had something to do with all this and Odin was going to find out tonight, despite what his mother said.

So, as he planned, Odin announced a public feast, where everyone in the kingdom was welcome. They housed it in the public gardens of the palace and set most of it in the beautiful lawns. There were candles floating about, enchanted not to go out and burn bright. There were beautifully printed cloths set on the sweet smelling grass, around bushes and covering the entire public gardens of the palace from start to end. The hallway was filled, too, for people who didn’t wish to go outside and tables were laden with delicious food.

There were more outside, and additional cooks roasted boar and buffalo over fiery pits. A few jesters and performers had been hired, too, to keep everyone entertained. There was music, dancing, merriment and enjoyment, filling the skies above the palace.

Bestla, too, was having a good time, sitting on the dais with Lady Frigga and Balder while Odin moved about, meeting his people, socializing and basically ensuring that Bestla wouldn’t think it too suspicious if he vanished for a while.

Since Thor himself was confined to his rooms, awake but resting, Odin took the thanks and gifts people brought to him and gave them to Eyvindr to place aside, ready to be taken to Thor when Odin said so. His valet was helping him, of course he was, and so was Olivier, the valet that Eyvindr had forced – or blackmailed – into this.

The two of them would alert each other, then Odin if his disappearance was noted by Bestla and he would be quick to return.

However, one of the reasons he held a public feast was that the gardens were vast, expanding nearly three acres so it was easy for a single old man to get lost, despite the presence of the many guards.

 He went further and further away from the hall where his mother and son sat, deliberately meeting everyone he could before he turned and swiftly made himself disappear. He slipped to the side of the hall and made his way back through a small servant’s passage, easily bypassing the bustling, busy servants.

Additional help had been hired, but confined to the kitchens so Odin ducked his head and moved past the chaos so he could head upstairs undisturbed.

The moment he was in the well aired and open halls of the familiar palace, however, his steps grew more confident and his back straightened with resolve. Whether his mother liked it or not, Odin was about to interrogate both Loki and Thor about what happened.

And he was going to start with that Jotun.

He knew where he was, the servants has told him eagerly enough; settled comfortably in the private parlour of Queen Bestla. He slept on her soft divan, munched on her delicious food and basically enjoyed the life he sold himself into.

Wily whore.

Odin got angry as he walked in, at the gall of a Jotun enjoying these things and so, when he reached her parlour, he managed to kick in the door rather than open it and he kicked it hard enough to have it bang off the wall.

Inside, sitting on the floor with the book he was reading at his feet, his hands opening peanut shells as he ate them, Loki was jolted out of his peace. He gasped and looked up, falling back on his hands when he saw the angry King back to hurt him. He could see it in his eyes and Loki quickly backpedalled.

“Majesty, wait!”

Odin didn’t. He hadn’t before, why would he now? The bloody Jotun seemed to think he could command him.

“You’re coming with me!” Odin hissed at him, striding forward.

Ignoring the way Loki tried to crawl back, ignoring the fear of death he saw in his eyes and ignoring the yelp that escaped his lips, Odin yanked him to his feet and forced him ahead.

“Fall and I drag you to where I want” Odin warned, his grip hard on Loki.

Loki had no choice and Loki had a thin layer of tears over his eyes, understanding finally why Odin had the feast. It was so he could kill him without having any sort of interference. How clever.

Loki was forced to the door, going out into the hallway, then taken to another, then up a flight of stairs until he went to a huge hallway. It was free of guards and Loki recognized it instantly. He was being taken to Thor’s chambers.

Was there where he was to be slaughtered? Loki had no idea, but he was marched onwards until Odin reached the door, placed his hand on the round pad to unlock it and walked in.

It slammed shut behind him and Loki felt the stifling hate resonate from the King as he was forced to walk into the chambers where he would be killed.

***

In his bed, the covers up to his waist, a book in his hands and lights dimmed to aid him in sleep, Thor sat reading and recuperating.

He could hear the sounds of the feast beneath him but for once he didn’t care. He didn’t care what happened to anyone down there and he didn’t really care what book he had in his hands.

All he cared about was the fact that it distracted him, at least enough for him to breathe a little, from what had happened.

Freya, that beautiful woman, his woman was dead. Murdered, ruthlessly, then left on the floor for him to come see. Her blood was on his hands, she died because of Thor, it was his fault. He was to blame for his own heart break and pain, he was to blame for this. he knew it would end in pain, he didn’t think it would be this.

And he thought he would have been ready.

He hadn’t been ready.

Oh, norns, the pain was so intense Thor put his book down, looking aside, looking at the window.

She had his affections, more than that but he didn’t dare say it for fear of truly ending what control he had left and bawl his heart out. He wouldn’t say it even if it was true.

For Thor had started to fall for Lady Freya, he truly had. He was readying himself to admit it, so having it taken from him this violently had destroyed a big part of him.

And he didn’t want to give in to the pain he still felt.

He was wearing a full sleeved tunic, loose enough not to tug at the bits of skin peeling at his shoulders. It would be expected, he had been told, it would finish after a week and he expected it to itch, too. So he wore loose clothing and just made the most of his rest.

If the realm thought he was traumatized from his injury, let them believe that. There might be a bit of truth in it, but the true reason he wanted to be left alone was to mourn. No one knew his pain, he would suffer through it alone and he wanted his solitude for it.

It was not to be, Thor realised when the door to his rooms were slammed open, jolting him. He turned to yell at the offending person, but was surprised to see Loki stumble in, looking worried.

And it occurred to Thor then that he hadn’t seen Loki ever since he was moved back to his rooms. He hadn’t seen him all day.

“Loki” he frowned “Where were you, I …”

He heard his father’s footsteps before he saw the man enter and Thor was out of bed in an instant, walking over.

“What” Odin rasped, very dangerous “is the meaning of _this_?”

Loki flinched when Odin’s hand cape to rest at his nape, signalling what _this_ meant.

“I can explain” Thor said firmly, not one to be cowed, despite his state.

“Can you?” Odin asked, guiding Loki to stand before him, looking up at Thor as he hunched over in intimidation, possibly guided by Odin’s rough hand “This is a Jotun. You bought a Jotun from that … that _thing_?”

“I did” Thor said, looking at Loki, then his father “I bought _Loki_ from that creature, he has a name”

“It’s Jotun!” Odin snapped “Vile, disgusting creatures and you bought him? You bought him as consort!?”

Loki wanted to break Odin’s neck! He truly did, but he didn’t dare move.

“I said, he has a name” Thor said “I brought him for a purpose”

“I purpose I forbid” Odin said “He’s going to be executed the moment you two tell me what the hell is going on”

Loki closed his eyes, hopelessness descending on him and Thor went pale.

“ I beg your pardon?” Thor stared “You can’t _execute_ him!”

“Why not!?”

Panicked eyes looked up at him, pleading and Thor didn’t hesitate. It was a stupid, impulsive decision, but Thor had spent enough time in the company of death to let Loki, his chance at getting Mjolnir back, die at the hands of his father – never mind what punishment would await him after.

 “You said so yourself” he said confidently “I bought him as a consort”

“What?” Odin said, his voice calmer than before “A consort? You wish to _wed_ him?”

Loki looked at Thor, his eyes wide in horror, he wanted to shake his head and get the hell out but Thor was speaking before he could.

“Yes” Thor didn’t miss a beat “I bought him from Taneleer Tivan after …”

“Is this who you have been going to meet this entire time?” Odin frowned “All the time you spent away from us was to be with a Jotun?”

“Loki” Thor corrected him, reaching over and taking advantage of his father’s surprise by pulling Loki away and into his arms “I went to meet him”

“Thor” Odin looked at them, at the way Loki hid his face against Thor and the way Thor’s arms came to comfort him “Have you lost your mind? He’s a prostitute. How can I allow you to wed…”

“By reminding yourself that I almost couldn’t have him, like you say you cannot allow me to” Thor spoke firmly, hating himself for what he was doing “Father, I died, the last person I thought of was him. Please, don’t stand in my way. No one knows I bought him, we can call it a peace treaty but please, I beg you. Don’t stop me”

It knocked Odin down, the statement his son made and he felt speechless. Thor was asking him for something impossible. No one was going to accept a Jotun Consort, not one person in Asgard. This was foolishness, it was sheer _stupidity_!

How in all of the realms, could he allow Thor to wed a Jotun! There would be outrage, no one would accept! Least of all him!

The King inhaled deeply and looked his son in the eyes.

“Thor, see sense” he tried “You cannot, I emphasize, _cannot_ wed a Jotun, no matter who it is. And then someone bought off the realms most notorious whore trader is out of the question. You will cause a riot!”

Loki, oddly comforted in Thor’s tight and restraining grip, looked up at Thor, trying to catch his eye, trying to  get him to bloody listen.

He was not going to marry this _beast_!

“Then don’t tell the kingdom anything other than what this is” Thor insisted, holding Loki tighter when he wiggled.

To Odin, the gesture was protective, to Loki, it was a warning, Thor was nearly crushing him!

“I love him, Father” Thor said “It is not a passing fancy”

Loki froze in his arms, his eyes wide, his tongue, suddenly loosening.

“Now wait a second…” he began, only to have Thor’s hand, previously cradling his head, tug on his hair in another, less subtle warning.

“You are making this very hard, Thor” Odin said “Our oldest laws are being threatened, as King I cannot give you my support or blessing. And I had thought that when you wed, those were the first things you would get”

It make shame course through Thor and he dropped his gaze.

“If you want a single chance at this working” Odin told him “Both of you will do as I say or … or I will be unable to stop Loki from going to the gallows.”

He took his name, that was something, Loki thought, realizing Thor’s hold on his father was great.

“For now, you will tell no one” Odin said to his son, then looked at the man in his arms “Loki”

Both Thor and Loki tensed, but slowly, Loki looked to him, still scared.

“Come here”

He didn’t want to, oh my Ymir, he didn’t want to! Odin was a King, no matter how much he fought him, Loki wouldn’t be able to win. Not in Asgard.

“Go on” Thor said, letting Loki go and even nudging him forward.

Loki only took a single step towards Odin because of that nudge and the King sighed.

“I just wanted to apologize” Odin told him “I – I acted rashly. I acted as though … well, I didn’t act as I should have, I am sorry. I will not behave that way again, I have no excuse other than the fact that…”

“I’m Jotun” Loki mumbled “By law you are all trained to hate me. And your son claims to love me, why wouldn’t you be angry?”

Why wouldn’t he be executed before everyone? His pieces given out as treats for ravens and hawks…

“I still have serious reservations” Odin told him “And I do not believe you care for my son. Know that I will be watching you.”

Amazing, Loki thought, this apology.

“I am backing away only because Thor seems to care, aye?” Odin said, then looked at Thor “In fact, forget that, I am watching you both. Keep that in mind.”

A loud, single cackle, sharp and hysterical, escaped Loki then and both men looked at him. He looked to the ground after it and Thor nodded at his father.

“I understand” he stepped to Loki “That this is all completely untoward”

“Completely” Loki muttered

“And that if you find out that this is a lie” Thor placed his hands on Loki’s shoulders “That you will kill Loki and I will be severely punished”

“Severely” Loki said

“But I assure you” Thor gave Loki a shake “that you will not find this to be a lie. I will wed Loki and prove that he and I are in love”

To that, Odin said nothing, looking at the both of them carefully.

“Don’t leave this room for a week” Odin pointed to Thor, then Loki “Either of you”

“Yes, Father” Thor bowed his head.

“I will see what laws can be manipulated to allow this” Odin told them “But you two stay away from the public eye and keep yourselves out of trouble.”

“Yes … Father” Thor said, once more the polite man he pretended to be.

Odin huffed, then, to their relief, turned and walked off.  Thor watched him go, his relief evident in the huff of breath he gave as he looked at Loki.

“That went better than I …”

Thor broke off as Loki spun around and slammed his fist into his royal face, throwing him back towards the bed, where he hit and fell to the floor.

***

The pain exploded behind his eye and Thor groaned, his hand coming up to cover it as the stinging and throbbing cascaded down to his cheek, his jaw. He sat up slowly and glowered at Loki.

“Are you _mad_!?” Thor shouted “You punched me!”

“The least of what I want to do to you right now, you ass!” Loki shouted back “Have you lost your mind!? What the hell have you done!?” 

Thor staggered to his feet, his have trying to soothe the stunning pain in his face “By the Norns flaming tits, you’ve blinded me!”

“Good!” Loki said “I hope I have blinded you so you can be just like your father, blinded by hate and stupidity!”

“Hey!” Thor snapped, lashing out and grabbing Loki by the shoulder, regardless of his pain “Do not speak ill of my father!”

“And why not?!” Loki asked loudly “he wanted to execute me! Based on prejudice!”

“Don’t push me, Loki” Thor snarled “I have no patience for you!”

“Then go tell your father the truth and have me killed! I will welcome death over the option of being tied to you forever” Loki tugged himself away “I doubt you will shed a tear over me! And he will celebrate, the blind, prejudiced, racist old…”

Thor’s slap snapped Loki’s head to the side, shutting him up. A harsh, sharp cry had left his lips and Loki placed a hand over his cheek, hunched over, looking at Thor through watery eyes.

“I said” Thor growled, his eye was swelling up “Don’t push me”

Not right now.

He had been through hell, he didn’t need Loki to agitate him further.

“I did the only thing that you keep you alive, you are Jotun, he is right, he is in his rights, by law to lop your head off!” Thor snapped “I couldn’t protect you any other way, this was it!”

“I am not going to marry you!” Loki told him, wiping aside a stray tear in anger “Never will I consent!”

“I need neither your consent nor your desire to marry me” Thor hissed “and I will not wed you, trust me, I don’t wish to have someone like you in my household. No, the second I am done with you, I will be happy to send you off, consequences be damned”

“What?” Loki sneered “My purpose being a quick romp?”

“Please, I have better taste than _you_ ” Thor scoffed.

It hurt Loki, that statement, marking him clearly, as something disgusting and he crossed his arms, watching, with glee, the injury on Thor’s face.

“So, what?” Loki asked “You commissioned me to be what? A pretty little _dancer_ for you?”

“I didn’t commission you” Thor said “I was seeking you out and this was the only way I could get you”

That threw Loki off guard and he frowned at the prince, soon to be King, of bastards.

“What?” he asked shortly “Why the hell would you seek me out?”

“For your help” Thor looked exasperated “I lost my hammer and this giant in Jotunhiem called Thrym has it, he refused my letters, my trade, anything I sent him to get him to give the hammer back. So I wanted to talk to you, willing to pay you, if you helped me get it, since I cannot go to Jotunhiem and you lived there. But now, thanks to everything that has happened, I doubt you will ever help me, damn it!”

He cussed, covering his eye again.

Though he was freshly healed, it was truly smarting and he turned away from Loki, stomping to his bathroom to try and fix it.

Loki stood where he was, the confused furrow upon his brow, lost in belief or disbelief. There could be a chance that Thor was lying, but he could be telling the truth. He hadn’t seen his hammer anywhere and even he had heard that Thor never strayed far from it.

Something like this could happen if Thor was desperate.

Loki just wondered if he truly was desperate.

So, he took a deep breath to calm himself and went to lean against the bathroom door, watching Thor.

“Then you do not like me that way?” he asked plainly.

Thor, who was washing his eye out, scoffed “I don’t like you in any way, let that be clear”

“Then this marriage business was…” Loki prompted “A lie?”

“Do you want a Jotun treat for understanding that? Trust me, it was” Thor bent and just dunked his head under the tap “Damn you Loki, this hurts”

“Well, you repaid me well in kind, so I don’t think you can complain” Loki touched his flaming cheek “Besides, you deserved it”

“For saving your life?” Thor asked “A fine show of gratitude. Come here, I’ll show you my gratitude in advance”

Loki smirked, just a little, a soft laugh escaping him “You think me a fool”

“I think you irritating” Thor said, running cool, calming water over his eye “God, you have a good right hook”

“Thank you” Loki beamed.

There was silence for a few minutes as Loki watched Thor soothe his eye, then straighten and grab a towel to dry his face and neck, his hair, too.

“So what now?”

“Hmm?” Thor asked, casually putting the towel back “What do you mean?”

“I mean, how will you get us out of this fine mess you brought me into?” Loki articulated

“Well” Thor turned to face him, arms crossed, feet apart “For one, name your price. You won’t do anything for anyone for free, especially me, so tell me. What do you want in return? A house? Though I don’t know why you would, I bought your freedom for you. Unless you were happy there, with him”

“I would never be happy with that – that thing!” Loki snapped vehemently “That reptile is a monster! I was tortured there on a daily basis and I cannot ever think of going back to him!”

“Then you can repay me by getting my hammer back” Thor smiled

Loki pressed his lips together for a second, then sighed “One condition”

“Of course there is a condition” Thor chuckled “What is it? A thousand gold coins?”

“Nay” Loki debated on being honest with him or not, but it seemed that Thor could help him if he wanted “Something else”

When Loki said nothing else, Thor raised a brow “Do I have to guess?”

“No, I’m debating” Loki bit out

“Ah, debate away” Thor said, heading to the door.

He snickered as Loki jumped out of his way, almost falling on his bottom. The Jotun glared at him as Thor went past, going right back to bed, the crescent of Loki’s punch forming around his eye.

He had picked up his book again when Loki exhaled.

“If I help you” Loki spoke “Then I want you to do something for me. You have to swear”

“If it is in my power, very well” Thor turned to look at him again “Name it”

Loki licked his lips and swallowed at the lump forming in his throat.

“I want you to find my mother” Loki refused to look at Thor and thus missed the crestfallen expression on his face “I was taken two years ago, from a fair. I haven’t seen my mother since. Because I am stuck here, I want you to go to my home, find her, tell her where I am and…”

“Loki…”

His name, softly spoken, made Loki look up and his heart jolted at Thor’s face.

“You cannot deny me” Loki told him “If you want me help…”

“I am not denying you” Thor said, walking over “But we are already looking for her”

That took Loki by surprise and he frowned “What? Why?”

“A woman by the name of Amora helped us find you in Jotunhiem” Thor explained to him “She helped my comrade look for you, she helped us find where you are, she went to your home”

“She went to my home?” Loki’s eyes widened “Then she met Mother, she must have, where is she?”

Thor held out his hands to him, telling him to calm.

“I say she went to your home” Thor said “but it was burnt to the ground by Taneleer’s men”

The colour drained from Loki’s face and his eyes widened.

“B-Burnt?” Loki stuttered “My house was burnt…my mother…?”

“Wasn’t there” Thor assured him “She likely escaped, we didn’t find anything to state otherwise”

Loki gasped, his shaking hands going through his hair as he listened to Thor, horror all over his face.

“Oh Ymir…” he panted “By the mountain’s ice, I can’t lose her…”

“You won’t” Thor walked to him “You won’t, Loki!”

His name, sharply spoken, jolted him and he looked at Thor as the man was suddenly right in front of him.

“Breathe…”

Loki felt his hands grow warm and he saw Thor was holding them in his own, his blue eyes focused on his face.

“I will not let anything happen to your mother” Thor said “I swear to you. I will get her back to you”

“Why do you suddenly care?” Loki asked “I’m a tool for you to get your hammer back”

“Because” Thor’s voice was lower, slightly pained “My mother was taken from me by men like Taneleer. I was late, not too late, barely a second, but for me, it was over, she was gone and I did nothing”

He gave Loki a gentle shake “I will not let that happen to you, this I swear to you”

Loki didn’t know whether to believe him or not, but he knew the man had lost his mother. The news had reached even Jotunhiem. His mother had told him that.

And to think, five years after, he was here, in the room of the man himself, listening to him swear to help him find his mother.

“If you help me find her” Loki said “I will get your hammer for you. I know Thrym, I know how to get to him. I will help”

Thor squeezed his shoulder and nodded, extending a hand to him “Then we have a deal”

Loki looked at the swollen eye Thor had, then at his hand before he too, took it.

“Very well”

“Good” Thor beamed, “Now out you go, we aren’t married and you cannot sleep in here, run along”

And all the tenderness within Loki slipped from him like a leaky bucket.

“You are an ass, I hope you know that” Loki hissed as Thor turned to his bed.

“Aye, do close the door on your way out”

“Bite me, Odinson!” Loki growled, spinning on his heel to go to the door.

“Good night” Thor chuckled “Don’t let your snark bite”

Loki barked out a Jotun insult, that made Thor laugh. And the brat left the door wide open. Sighing, Thor went to shut it, catching Loki’s figure heading to the kitchenette he had here. He heard him moving about inside, clattering things loudly on purpose and he shook his head.

No matter what happened after, Thor realized that Loki was going to be a wonderful distraction.

And that, perhaps, his life would get a little more complicated than it was before.

 


	8. Breakfast at Thor's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Breakfast, lunch and drunk people really don't mix.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any and all errors are mine. Please point them out of your remember/want to. Danke

Very quickly, Loki learned that when he thought himself alone in Thor’s absence, even without Olivier, he had been very wrong.

It turned out that Thor was blessed with more than a valet. He had a man of affairs, who dealt with the problems in Thor’s personal life. He had two sets of maids, just for cleaning his rooms. One set included of two maids and a head maid. Each set was assigned certain hours where they took care of Thor’s rooms. He had two male servants for his bathing chambers, which Loki had been told were huge. In his absence, the servants had been catering to Loki.

The fact that Loki hadn’t known this was very disturbing.

After the two male servants, came Thor’s Olivier, the only one who had power over everyone who worked in the chambers. Together with the man of affairs, Olivier planned out an entire system of work and domestic maintenance of the Prince’s chambers. There were also two other maids and servants, who stood by as footmen – and women – for when Thor had company over. They were the ones who were groomed to perfection, had extreme manners and were trained to handle any situation with grace and poise.

None of the staff was allowed to do any work they were not qualified for. They stayed in their sects and made sure to keep the chambers clean as a – well – palace.

And overlooking all of them was Thor, a most generous employee, Olivier told him, despite the budget set for each royals’ domestic staff. Thor paid them all himself, signed his name on official stamp papers so that they got their dues at the start of each month.

He liked to remember their faces.

And it was these faces that Thor had stood before Loki in a line and told him to remember.

“If we are to pretend,” Thor had said that morning as he barged into his taken “and because Father is watching, you and I will work together to make it believable. And the first thing you need to do is become a part of my ‘house’.”

Loki, who had still been in bed and shot up, hair ruffled, half asleep, half stunned, listened to him, barely.

“What?” he had asked, his voice sleep addled.

Thor had snickered “You will meet the domestic staff. Come along, Sleepy, your pantomime awaits”

Loki had only glowered at him and it hadn’t much faded even now as he stood before the gathered men and women responsible for keeping Thor clean.

The Jotun highly doubted that Thor would survive a day without this Pampering Patrol.

Two heavy hands landed on his shoulders and Thor beamed at him, swaying him a little on the spot. His bruise was still heavy on his eye and the prince seemed to be delighted at the fact that Loki had his sleep disturbed for this.

“Alright, my love” Thor cooed, kissing the side of Loki’s head.

Forgetting their charade, Loki turned to smack him across the face before he caught himself and stood there, looking at him with wide eyes.

Thor only beamed at him, but raised a brow in subtle warning.

“I will hope that when I return, you will have gotten well acquainted with the staff?” he smiled

Oh, Loki wanted his hand to be acquainted with the darkest part of Thor for just leaving him here, but he cocked his head to the side in temporary truce.

“Of course, dear” Loki said “but don’t take too long, otherwise I just might nap with you”

A cough behind Loki made the Jotun grin and Thor inclined his jaw a little.

“Watch it” he said, chuckling and cuffing Loki on the chin gently “I might just take you up on that offer”

He had the pleasure of seeing Loki’s smile fade before he left and headed back to his chambers to be alone. As fun as Loki was, Thor was still in mourning. To him, it hadn’t been but a day.

Loki watched him leave and watched the door click shut, then turned to the men and women behind him.

“Right” Loki said, hands tied before him “let’s start from the right”

The footmen straightened.

“Names and qualifications, please” Loki went to a foot stool placed a little ways off, dragged it back and perched upon it “Go on”

His back straight, Loki hooked his hands around his knee and smiled at them – without making it too much.

“Right” he said “Name?”

The man looked straight ahead and Loki frowned, raising a brow, when he didn’t get a response. Yet, even as he braced himself for it, he smiled.

“Hello?” he waved his fingers at him “Do you know how to speak?”

Olivier cleared his throat and made Loki look at him.

“They uh…” Olivier grimaced “They are trained not to speak to casually to um … royals”

Loki raised his brows “Then what do I do? Lay down a tea party and dress in my best?”

A snort made Loki look at the man he’d been addressing and saw him swallow a chuckle.

“You can laugh, you know, Olivier won’t kill you” Loki told him “And please, try making this easy for me”

Another snicker came from a maid but she shut up the moment Olivier glared.

“My god, you’re a right tyrant” Loki realized as he looked at Olivier “Let them breathe. In fact…”

Olivier gaped as Loki pushed his stool back and sat on the floor, legs crossed.

“Sit, all of you, sit down” Loki commanded “You too, Tyrant.”

It was very untoward, the servants looked at one another, hesitant to obey. Olivier looked like Loki had asked him to grow another head.

“Lord, I …”

“Sit” Loki glared pointedly “All around, like a circle, aye?”

Thor was going to kill him, Olivier realized. He was going to die now. But, as commanded, he nodded to the staff and came to sit next to Loki. The others followed, all of them awkwardly forming a circle with Loki.

Then they waited.

“Now” Loki inclined his head to the side “My name is Loki and I am twenty seven years old. I love to read and hate doing things myself. I have the training to be a knight and can fight off any and all warriors of Asgard – for a little while, at least. I also firmly believe in self-preservation so a tactical retreat is never not an option”

He turned to Olivier, who sat beside him “Your turn, Tyrant, speak”

All eyes turned to Olivier and he felt scrutinized

“Uh, my name is Olivier and I am twenty four years old” he began awkwardly “I like to horse ride?”

Loki rolled his eyes “Thank you, Olivier.”

He saw the maid next to Olivier and smiled “And you, dear?”

She looked at him, worried and relaxed in varying degrees “I …My name is Elsa…”

“Elsa” Loki smiled “Beautiful name, my dear”

That made her blush and she started to talk about herself more freely. She was nineteen and looking to be a head maid one day.

After Elsa was Beth, another maid trying to make it through her higher education. There was servant, Hubert, who wanted to earn enough to join an academy to become a royal guard, then another servant who was looking to get into the kitchens and cook. So far, he worked for Thor and made what Thor liked.

“And if I may be bold” Hubert said, an hour into their talking “The prince’s tastebuds need improving”

“Aye, you can do that, my lord” Anita, the maid in charge of the living area during the day said “I’ll bet you have excellent taste”

“Oh?” Loki asked, sipping his, asked for and given by Olivier, wine while he pet the sleeping Ruben in his lap “Why do you say that?”

“Well,” Roan, another servant piped up “You have the air with you, where you know that your tastes are better than peasant tastes”

There were drinks for everyone, so they were a little relaxed. Morning duties were forgotten, much to Olivier’s horror, as they all sat and chatted. They had their drinks in hand, a few snacks shared between them and the conversation of good friends.

Loki had forgotten this. He had forgotten what normal conversation was like.

Loki chuckled at Roan’s comment, looking at him “Did you just call me arrogant?”

“Well educated, never arrogant” Roan was quick to amend “You shouldn’t be ashamed because you are the best”

Olivier raised a dignified brow and watched Roan conceal a hiccup. This was going to end in a disaster he knew it.

Olivier was a young man, poised, dignified and much more responsible than he pretended to be. His blue eyes held lots of knowledge and patience, as well as an air of command that led him to control the people and care for Thor. He had fiery red air, always brushed to perfection and a nose as proud as he was of his work.

His clothes were impeccable, always either white or grey and his boots polished to shine. Since he was the head, he was setting an example and the others followed, as their station permitted. He had wanted this to me a more educational meeting for Loki but that had been washed away, like it didn’t matter.

It was out of his control and Olivier was someone who was always in control. _Always_.

Today, he found himself betraying his usual aura of control and authority, looking, instead, at the way Loki enjoyed himself.

It had been the first time since Loki arrived that Olivier had seen him – fear less. Not that he was terrified, but there was always something in his gaze that brought the word ‘caution’ to Olivier’s mind.

Since Loki was traumatized by his past, from what he had managed to gather from Thor and Loki combined – the men were both so obstinate, honestly –, he was always worried, his brow was always furrowed. Olivier had caught him closing the drapes every time he opened them, he caught him jump and cover his ears when something clattered or when someone yelled out in the corridor. He saw him sit in complete darkness and he fine with it, he saw him slam the drapes shut so many times Olivier stopped opening them in the parts of the room Loki frequented.

Then he saw him improve, under Bestla’s care. He had been so glad that he went to get her. No one else would have stopped Odin and that torment was another added to his list. Loki was not alright, he doubted he ever would be. But he was improving, he tolerated light, his flinching was fading, leaving behind only, the tragic shaking of his hands.

They had been dexterous once. Now they shook like leaves in a heavy wind.

He wanted to know, perhaps one day he would, what exactly happened to the young man.

For now, he was mildly tolerant of this misdemeanour, mostly because he was curious to see what would happen. The staff had clearly never met anyone like Loki and they were fascinated with someone who would talk to them rather than ignore them.

However much it went against protocol but Olivier didn’t have it in him, at this moment, to tell them off. It was sweet, how they befriended Loki, who was going to receive a lot of hate from Asgard’s people, faux marriage or not.

Loki brushed his hair back with one hand as the other was set behind him, holding his very casual posture. Ruben was in his lap and a smile on his face as the group talked when the door opened.

Trained to be swift and quick, the staff grabbed their drinks to hide behind their backs and shot to their feet, going back into line as the person came in. Olivier was politely standing beside Loki, who was the only person to remain seated.

Not by choice, no, he just has no idea what the hell happened. And because he stayed seated, he wasn’t immediately seen by the person who walked in, looking for Thor.

***

Ever since Thor had run off, things had been chaotic in the young Prince Balder’s head. He was guilty, first of all, because had Thor not seen what he did, this would never have happened. He would never have run away and gotten attacked.

Second, he was worried. Svadilfari was certain that they were going to get exposed and wanted to make Thor see sense. But the Crowned Prince was panicked, possibly angry and talking to someone Thor was less likely to punch seemed like a good idea.

These two motivational thoughts driving him, the second prince entered the chambers without a knock and called to his brother.

For a second, he was confused, thinking Thor was there, since the staff was lined up and he nodded to them in greeting, curt and polite.

“Where is the prince?” he asked – nay, demanded. He had to see him.

“Resting, my lord” Olivier told him “He ordered us not to disturb him no matter what”

“Aye, but this is important” Balder walked further into the room “How long ago did he…oh”

He broke off when another figure, definitely not staff and definitely dressed in fine clothes, stood from the floor, a goblet in his hand.

His hair was black, ruffled slightly, as though he didn’t get a proper chance to brush them earlier, and is clothes were rumpled – as though he had just gotten out of his bed. His skin was fair and his eyes were bright green.

Balder’s eyes went to his wrists, where he found bracers, the kind that magic wielders wore when their magic was trapped. And it took him all but a second to recognize the species this man was.

“You’re Jotun”

No greeting, no respect, no ceremony – Loki could get used to this.

“Aye” he said confidently, handing is goblet to Olivier as he walked over, arms behind his back “You must be Balder”

“ _Prince_ Balder” the man corrected, his form tensing “How the bloody hell did your likes get in here?”

“Thor brought me” Loki smiled, deliberately letting a shoulder of his tunic fall as he pointed to the door “Would you like me to get him for you while you wait?”

Balder puffed up in anger at hearing this Jotun speak so freely to him “You have no place in these chambers. How dare you converse with me so frankly?”

Loki shrugged “I hardly know. Possibly left my manners in Thor’s bed when I got out of it this morning”

Olivier gestured for the servant’s to leave and stood out of sight, since they looked like they would giggle. Besides, they had work to do.

Loki and Balder ignored their departure, in favour of glaring at one another.

Loki’s comment made Balder’s face heat up in embarrassment and he clenched his hands tightly. Jotuns were mutually hated, he despised them as much as Odin, thanks to their history with Odin’s family.

Murderous, cankerous little demons, that they were.

“Possibly still there with your dignity and shame” Balder snarled, glaring at him up and down “Crude and vulgar. I wonder why Thor even chose you. I have half a mind to shake the sense into him”

“Then by all means…”

Even Loki jumped as he heard the rumbling voice of Thor, his supposed future husband, come from his door to these chambers. He was dressed in a thick, maroon robe, opened at the front and his feet were encased in royal slippers. His hair was opened, flowing freely and his eyes were filled with warning as he came out, looking directly at Balder.

He strode to them, coming to stand behind Loki as he glared at his brother.

“Shake sense into me” Thor warned his brother “We here all know that our bed mates are suddenly very interesting to the other, aye?”

Balder had the grace to look worried and had Thor not been standing so close, Loki would have enjoyed it.

As it was, Loki felt himself tense when Thor’s thick arms came around his waist from behind and pull him back against his chest. They tightened and his jaw rested on Loki’s shoulder, the entire picture of intimacy.

Loki completed it by placing his hands over Thor’s keeping them in place.

Balder grit his jaw and looked at his brother “You’re sleeping with a Jotun?”

“Of course not” Thor snorted “I’m marrying one”

“You’re _marrying_ him?” Balder’s shocked voice rose a few pitches higher at that “Are you insane?”

“Aye” Thor smiled, stroking Loki’s middle with a thumb.

It sent a thrill of excitement through Loki and he decided he hated it. There was no way he liked this, liked the way Thor held him and there was absolutely no way that Loki had smelled his golden hair when they fell upon Loki’s shoulder.

This was a charade, nothing else.

“Not only am I marrying him, he is to be your future King” Thor beamed at his brother “So I suggest you be nice to him”

“Thor, you…”

“And I firmly believe” Thor turned his head, purely for show, to kiss Loki on the neck “That you want to keep your eyes off my bed and back to yours, aye? That is what you need to worry about”

“I came to…”

“Leave, please” Thor rubbed his lips to Loki’s skin again, feeling Loki’s pulse quicken “I am busy”

There was much more that Balder wanted to say, of this behaviour, of this entire situation but he didn’t. Not when Thor didn’t even look at him and looked right about to undress Loki here.

“Then at dinner” Balder nodded

“Don’t count on it, Princeling” Thor gave him a warning look “I am not in the mood to humour _you_ ”

It shut Balder up then and Loki watched, mildly distracted by Thor’s actions, as the Prince cursed softly and strode to the door.

“Very well, then” Balder said “I hope father talks sense into who you have let in the palace”

“I wish the same to you” Thor finally lifted his head off Loki’s neck to call out to Balder “And enough sense to knock next time!”

Loki watched Balder leave, slamming the door shut loudly behind him. He focused on that and not the way his skin still tingled where Thor had kissed him and not how cold he felt when Thor let him go and stepped away, grumbling.

“Self-righteous little arse” Thor rumbled, stepping to the dining table “Thinks he can do whatever he wants, perverted scoundrel… _Olivier_!”

Loki, who was watching Thor with fascination, jumped when Thor yelled for his valet. Olivier, the poor boy, came rushing to him.

“Aye, my lord?” he asked, head bowed

“Am I to die before you serve me breakfast?” Thor snapped yanking out a chair for himself “Hurry it up!”

“Of course, my lord” Olivier nodded and hurried, used to these tantrums, to the small kitchenette, where movement had already started.

It left Loki and Thor alone.

Thor was too involved in his anger and picked up the papers on the table to skim through. They were newspapers, selected for the prince by those who knew what interests he liked. He went through them as Loki stood to the side, awkwardly rubbing the spot Thor had kissed and lingered over.

It felt tender, that spot, and Loki bit his lip to keep from saying anything.

“If you intend to just stand there, please don’t. It annoys me.”

Thor’s voice once more jolted him out of his state and Loki looked at him cautiously.

The man was in a mood, Loki didn’t want himself to be a target.

“Sit,” Thor pushed a chair out beside him with his foot “I hate eating alone”

“Of course” Loki nodded and came over, moving to sit beside him “Anything I can help you with?”

“Aye” Thor frowned at the papers “See, we are to pretend that we are in love. Sad is my state that I have to pretend, but that is fact. In the eye of our servants, we are to behave such. Remember, we are always being watched. I suggest that, even though you hate me, pretend to have some affection for me. Try not to tense next time I hold you, because I will do so. That way, we can get this done with as smoothly as possible”

“Right” Loki said softly “I will. I’m just not used to being…”

“Groped by an older man?” Thor chuckled self derisively.

Loki looked at him for a second before answering “Held, I was going to say. No one’s held me before”

That made Thor look at him, brow raised “Held? You mean you’ve never…”

Loki blushed self consciously “Never what?”

“Had sex” Thor lowered his voice, mirth shining in his eyes

It made Loki blush brighter and Thor gasped, elation on his face.

“What?” Loki glowered “It’s not a big issue!”

His defence made Thor grin “You’re twenty seven”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Loki felt flustered “It’s a matter of choice”

“The wrong choice” Thor snickered “Are you serious? You’ve never…?”

“I had better things to do” Loki snatched a paper from Thor to read “so drop it”

“What better things?” Thor was utterly fascinated “Reading? Are you unable to get it up?”

“Thor!” Loki gasped, slamming his paper down “Be quiet”

Thor laughed, bloody laughed at him “Oh my norns…”

He sat back, as Loki slowly turned red in the face, placing a hand over his eyes as he full out snickered – like it was the funniest thing he had ever heard.

“I can’t believe this…” Thor laughed “Loki, you…”

He leaned forward again, bracing himself against the table as he looked at him. There was no mockery in his eyes – not vicious mockery, at least – as he looked at him, Loki noted.

“How can it be?” Thor asked, still grinning “I – I would have thought women flocking over you with all your knightly qualities”

“It’s private” Loki hissed at him

“You can’t get it up” Thor teased, snickering “That is the only reason, I know it is”

“It’s not!” Loki rasped “So shut up”

Thor watched him pick up his paper again and pretend to read. His face was likely hot as coal and Thor couldn’t resist reaching over to touch his knuckles to his flaming cheek.

Loki hissed at him, swatting his hand away angrily and that made Thor smile wider.

“Oh, I like you” Thor beamed, sitting back “I like you a lot”

“I’m flattered” Loki droned sarcastically “the attentions of an old, groping pervert are all mine”

All of Thor’s bad mood vanished and he couldn’t stop smiling “Aye, a moment ago you liked this old pervert groping you”

“I never liked it” Loki glowered “I tolerated it”

“With an accelerated heart rate, you did” Thor teased “I bet if I come over there and kiss you…”

“I will knock your teeth out” Loki threatened.

It delighted Thor to no end and – if Loki was being honest, which he refused to be – he liked making Thor laugh so.

He knew that he preferred it over the bad, nearly hurt expression he had seen before. Besides, if he got something out of this entire thing, then why not?

It wasn’t like this was real anyway.

***

“By the way, I heard what you said to Balder”

They were having breakfast now, much to Loki’s relief. He realised that Thor loved to tease him and feared that it would quickly become his favourite things to do. The man had discovered something about him and had teased him ruthlessly about it.

Then he laughed at his own jokes and behaved only when breakfast arrived. Loki had been grateful for the meal, Olivier had been grateful of the fact that Thor’s mood was lifted.

Thor was probably grateful to be able to eat, which he did with shocking manners.

Loki expected him to jump at it, claws extended, possibly scare Ruben to death, the poor creature, but Thor hadn’t. he’d eaten with grace and poise, more matched to Ruben.

He sat on the table now, calmly licking his paws when Thor spoke to Loki. The Jotun was having his own, less meat filled breakfast.

Loki preferred the fruits and cheese on the table, leaving the bacon and other fried things to Thor. The man even fried his toast and Loki judged him for it. He was sure they were delicious but he liked his own toasted, not greasy ones better.

He looked to Thor when the man said that and frowned “What?”

“I left my manners in Thor’s bed when I got out of it this morning” Thor beamed, then chuckled “I have to say, that made me laugh, I won’t lie”

Loki narrowed his eyes “Nice to know that your family is so acceptable of me”

Thor grunted and tossed his napkin on the table “It’s not their fault, it’s our family connection to Jotnar that make them so angry. And what have I told you about keeping _him_ on the table?”

Loki turned his head to where Thor pointed and saw Ruben sitting there, head cocked to the side as he eyed Thor’s breakfast.

“He’s not doing anything” Loki defended “Forget him, tell me about the connection to Jotunar”

“He’s sitting there, looking at my food, wanting to eat it” Thor said “And it’s a long story”

When he sat back, Loki set his elbows on the table and looked at him, big eyes and all. He set his head on his hand and looked at Thor expectantly.

“What?” Thor asked, putting his napkin back in his lap.

“Tell me about the connection” Loki insisted “I want to know”

Thor rolled his eyes “It’s not a big secret, if that is what you think. You can find it in the library”

“I don’t want to” Loki nudged his hand with his  elbow “Come on, husband o mine. Tell me”

Thor slit his gaze at him and sighed, “My grandfather, Bor, Queen Bestla’s husband had a long standing friendship with the old Jotun King Hodr. Hodr was King Laufey’s father, you know this”

“I do” Loki confirmed

“Well” Thor forked up some bacon “he invited my grandfather to Jotunhiem one day, insisting that they form a treaty. Father was a young man, on the brink of becoming an adult, and he was desperate to go with him. But Grandfather didn’t let him. He wanted him to stay with Grandmother.”

Loki watched as Thor took his bite, played with the edge of the table as he ate, then swallowed and started talking again.

“Grandfather had a good time there, signed a treaty and came back home” Thor said “he told his family everything he did, had a good dinner and went to sleep.”

Thor huffed a little, looking at Loki “He never woke up.”

Loki froze, something coiling unpleasantly in his chest.

“They say he was poisoned, one of those delayed reaction venoms” Thor said “That is the unofficial story. Others say he just died in his sleep, no poison -  since none was found in his system. Either way, Father is convinced he was killed by Hodr and forbade everyone from going to Asgard. He even set a law, in his anger, to kill any Jotun that crossed into Asgard. People just found them easier to hate”

“You don’t?” Loki asked before he could stop himself.

Thor shrugged “I have seen different sides of everyone. I find it hard to hate a realm I haven’t even gone to. It’s easier for others to hate so they just do.”

“You and the Queen don’t seem to harbour this prejudice” Loki said softly

“We just don’t think the way everyone else does” Thor chuckled bitterly “Makes us a hoot as private parties, I have to tell you. Now, we will be so even more”

“Because you decided to ‘wed’ me” Loki concluded

“Mhm…” Thor nodded “To save you from – you know, certain death”

“Aye” Loki looked at his meal, then picked up his fork and stabbed some cheese with it to eat “Thank you, for that. I didn’t know the story was so deep.”

Thor made a face “Neither here nor there. Can’t really do anything about it”

“Agreed” Loki had his breakfast in relative silence after that.

On occasion, Thor would start talking about something, but other than that, conversation basically ended.

With breakfast over, they leaned back to let the staff take everything away. Once gone, Thor turned to Loki again.

“So,” Thor said, placing his hands on the table hard enough to jolt Ruben, who promptly hissed at him “What have you planned all day?”

“Nothing, really” Loki said distractedly, watching Ruben jump off the table to go to Loki’s room “I usually read at this time”

“Good, we can plan what to do when we get to Thrym” Thor said “We meet him at the end of a week”

“So for a week, I have to endure this?” Loki gestured vaguely around him “Why can’t we go now?”

“Because” Thor pushed his chair back and stood “I have gotten us into a fine mess and I have no intention of making mistakes while Father watches us”

“And he will not watch us now, while we have this conversation?” Loki asked

“No, because none of the staff are here” Thor turned to him as he headed back to his room “Come along, plans don’t form themselves”

Loki gave a loud groan and dragged himself from the chair “Can I not sleep more?”

“No” Thor called from within “Hurry up, don’t dawdle”

“I am not dawdling” Loki said indignantly “I am walking with purpose”

“Purpose being…?”

“To get back into bed”

Thor’s chuckle came from the room and a few seconds later it was lit up as he pushed the drapes back. It was a mess, it had to be because it was Thor’s room and Loki made a face of mild disgust while stepping over clothing and anything else Thor had on the floor.

“Do you not believe in cleanliness?” Loki asked him.

Thor scoffed and waved a dismissive hand over everything “They’ll clean it up”

“Ah, the magic people I met today” Loki said, following Thor when the man headed to his desk

“I hope you were well acquainted with them” Thor cleared his desk of things and set a few papers on it “And they believed our tale?”

“Aye, they were taken in by the charm of their future consort, worry not” Loki pulled up a chair and sat opposite Thor, looking at the papers “What have you planned?”

“Well nothing at the  moment” Thor said “I was hoping you could help”

Loki watched Thor sit down and pull the papers closer, idly picking up a pen.

“If we get a plan of his palace” Thor said “We could sneak in and…”

“No”

Thor looked up sharply, furrowing his brow “What do you mean no?”

“I mean that his manor, not palace, is heavily guarded” Loki took the pen from him “We won’t be able to get in”

“Then what do you suggest?” Thor asked

“Thrym,” Loki tapped the pen against the paper “Is known for one thing and one thing alone in Jotunhiem.”

Thor raised a brow “Which is?”

“Feasts” Loki said “once a month, he has a lavish feast, inviting even the great King Laufey and his heir Helblindi to it. They go because Laufey and Thrym are fast friends and usually end up staying there the night since they are so inebriated they cannot move.”

“And this is important because…” Thor prompted

“Think, Thor” Loki smiled “What does Jotunhiem need for a feast as large as that?”

When Thor looked lost, Loki sighed, rolling his eyes “Whores”

Thor’s eyes widened and he gaped “What?!”

Loki grinned “Aye, the only ones who are hired out of desperation, taken into the manor, set loose and basically ignored if they go into any room in the place as long as they are coy enough”

Thor looked slightly scandalised “You want me to hire whores to go in there and get my hammer? Loki, they-“

“Nay, of course not” Loki scoffed, then grinned a moment later “We go to the manor dressed as whores”

There was silence from Thor as he stared at Loki with someone akin to horror in his eyes. His heart was pounding, he was sure he’d gone cold, because there was nothing else to explain the sudden fall of body temperature, and he stared at the man before him.

This had to be a joke, this was a joke.

“Are you serious?” Thor asked softly “Do you know what Father will do to me if he finds out I dressed up like a woman to sneak into Thrym’s feast?”

“Lock you up?”

“He’ll _strangle_ me and call it a mercy!” Thor yelped “You’ve lost your mind!”

“You want your hammer back?” Loki asked plainly “If yes, this is the only way. Trust me, I have been there, I know what it’s like”

“ _How_ is that the only way?” Thor demanded, his voice higher pitched than before “It’s madness!”

“Possibly” Loki sat back “You can go around in circles, trying to get in and you will only have your head smashed in by his guards. This is the only way for us to get in and out unnoticed”

Thor still stared at him, mouth slightly agape. Loki was serious, he was actually thinking about this _seriously_.

“This can’t be the only way” Thor insisted, sitting back

“Cry and plead as much as you want” Loki told him “But I assure you, this is the only way to get your precious hammer back”

“What if it isn’t?” Thor asked

“If it isn’t, then we will use the plan you come up with” Loki told him confidently “if you cannot find one, then in one and a half weeks’ time, we are headed to Jotunhiem to get your hammer and to get me out of this place – alive”

Thor snorted “With your clear love for trouble, I doubt I can guarantee that”

Loki smirked “Oh, please, I will have my husband to be there to protect me, won’t I?”

Thor raised a brow at him, at the tilt of his head, the pout in his lips. He even batted his lashes at him and Thor huffed.

“You are a minx” Thor told him “Evil, wily…”

“Cunning, manipulative…” Loki stood “cold hearted and ready to rip your throat out”

Thor chuckled at him, but it faded as Loki headed to the door “Where are you going, we aren’t done yet!”

“I gave you a challenge, dear” Loki hung on the door, half in, half out, fully showing his slim figure off clearly “If you can overcome it you are welcome to join me in the chambers”

His voice was soft, cooing and Thor reasoned that the staff was outside, clearing up breakfast.

“You are already in my chambers” Thor pitched his voice just enough to have the staff hear it “Why don’t you back up and come here where I can do more than join you”

It sent a shudder up his back, Thor’s voice, and Loki forced himself not to recognize it.

It was stupid.

It wasn’t real!

“I’d rather leave you as you are” he winked, then made his escape.

The servants quickly went back to work, forcing their gazes down. Loki was glad for it, because his cheeks were flaming and his hands shaking as he walked back into his chambers.

He closed the door and leaned against it, his hands shivering over his cheeks and his knees weak.

Ruben looked up and gave him a fat meow from where he was curled up on Loki’s pillows.

This was not real, Loki told himself.

It wasn’t!

***

It was midday, Loki was fresh from his long morning nap and was now dressed well. Bestla had some clothes made for him and he rather liked them. He wore a navy blue tunic and beige pants as he walked out, looking for Ruben.

The cat had been missing when Loki opened the door and he wanted to see where he was. The little monster loved to hide and attack Loki’s ankles whenever he could.

“Ruben?” Loki called, then whistled “Ruben, come here”

For a few moments, silence answered him, then he heard the meow from behind him and turned to see the cat come from beneath his bed and lay down flat in the middle of the doorway, ready to drop back into the nap Loki had disturbed.

“Lazy” Loki muttered, shaking his head and going into the living room.

He liked this open space, the huge rooms and everything. He even liked the invisible staff that was always around him and as he sat there, he looked towards the kitchen.

There seemed to be no one there, but a few seconds later, the day shift maid arrived, bowing to him.

“May I get you anything, my lord?” she asked

“Has the prince had his lunch?” Loki asked

“No, he’s having it on his east balcony right now” she replied “Do you want me to set your place there, too?”

“Of course” Loki stood “I’ll go meet him”

She bowed out, leaving to do as he had asked and Loki made his way towards the sitting area that was a prelude to Thor’s chambers. As he remembered, the sitting areas were spotless and he manoeuvred through them to go to the balcony where Thor was sitting.

His blonde hair was opened once more and it swayed in the light wind, shining and mesmerising.

Loki felt the need to touch it but forced it down, telling himself that this was a stupid idea. His steps were firm as he walked to Thor and the blue eyed, blonde haired god turned to him, smiling.

“Ah, it awakens” Thor held out an arm for him “come here, my darling”

The greeting confused Loki for all of three seconds, because by then, he was past the threshold to the balcony. His green eyes blinked at the group of three men sitting at a set of chairs on the balcony. None of them were familiar and Loki hesitated in greeting them, not knowing if they were important or not.

“Forgive me, gentlemen” Thor smiled at them, “your arrival was unexpected and I fear my fiancé wasn’t prepared”

Loki came to stand next to Thor, but found himself withholding a cry when Thor pulled him into his lap.

This wasn’t real, it was a play, Loki told himself, relaxing against Thor, feeling his muscled thighs beneath his rear and his heavy arm come about his waist. He inclined, just so he was draped over the prince and Thor stroked his knee with his thumb as his hand rested there.

“My love” Thor smiled up at him “These are detectives from Vanahiem, they were just asking me a few questions. Perhaps you would care to help?”

Loki blinked at Thor a few times before he understood, then nodded to him “Of course”

“That’s my boy” Thor smiled up at him, his eyes shining.

Rarely had Loki seen such lovely eyes.

It made him blush and he faced the gentlemen before him.

“Uh, what do you wish to know?” Loki asked, purposely not thinking about the way Thor’s finger and thumb drew circles on his knee.

The leader of the three before him, clearly Vanir detectives, looked to the pad in his hands “Well, I have a few questions you could…”

Loki stopped listening and his body went warm when he felt Thor mouthing at his neck. In clear view of the men, Thor slowly kissed his neck, his fingers heading to Loki’s shoulder to…

Oh…Loki clenched his shaking hands in his lap as he felt Thor lower it and tried to pull away.

“M-My love…” Loki breathed, looking at him as best he could “We were sp – speaking”

Thor let out a displeased groan and his hand came to rest over Loki’s belly “I’ve already spoken to them…”

Loki gasped as Thor bit his nape, soft, tender, the kind that made Loki feel aware of everything that touched him, his soft clothing, Thor’s hand, the way his tunic lifted as Thor…

The detective cleared his throat and Loki was pushed from his current train of thought.

“Forgive me” Loki said, his voice a little breathy “You had questions, aye?”

“Aye,” the detective said “How often has your husband been to Vanahiem this past month?”

“Month?” Loki asked, clearing his throat as Thor continued his assault on his skin.

“Once” Thor whispered against his neck, hidden from the view of the men before him “To buy you gems”

“Once, I believe” Loki repeated, keeping as still as he could as Thor mouthed his neck and shoulder “He bought me these fabulous gemstones”

“Hm” the detective went back to his notes “And how many times has he met Lord Gavel?”

“None, he was not to your taste” Thor whispered

“I never liked him” Loki said, stilling Thor’s hand as it went from his knee to his thigh, he felt Thor grab it, trapping it in his own, larger one and caress Loki with the other “I had heard of him and none of it was something I liked so I never met him”

“But your betrothed has met him, yes?” the Vanir asked

“He is to be King” Loki raised a brow “He is bound to meet even the unpleasant ones”

Thor smiled against his skin, placing a kiss, as though in reward.

“What of Lady Freya?”

Loki felt Thor still behind him, his hand suddenly crushing Loki’s. He didn’t let it show in his face, opting for confusion.

“His lady wife?” Loki asked “Again, I have heard of her, not seen her. I am still new to the palace and no one visits Jotunhiem, you see so you must forgive my lack of knowledge”

At the mention of Jotunhiem, one of the Vanir made a decidedly disgusted face, Loki ignored him. He hoped, instead, for Thor to say something, but it seemed his false husband to be was frozen stiff.

“Why are you here?” Loki demanded “Surely you know my fiancé was injured and needs time to recover. What is his involvement in all this?”

The detective exhaled “I come here because both Lord and Lady Gavel were found dead in their home. Their staff insists that your husband was there and that he was involved with the woman. They insist he killed her. Since they were both nobility, their murder is not to be overlooked. We are looking at every possible suspect”

Loki was stunned, he was enlightened and he was devastated on Thor’s behalf. All of it made sense to him and Loki stilled, just like Thor had.

She was the one  Thor had gone to see, she was the one Thor wanted, wanted to be with. Loki was left here so Thor could go this woman.

Lady Freya, the one the servants talked about.

She had been Thor’s and – if Loki was correct in his assumptions – he was the one Thor got himself hurt after. Lady Freya of Vanahiem.

Murdered – and Thor had seen it, he had been there.

Everything made sense. He’d been attacked by someone there, when he went to see her!

“My lord?”

Loki shook himself out of those thoughts and frowned “Forgive me, I … I was…”

“I know this is disturbing news” the detective exhaled, clearly losing patience “but you need to tell me if…”

“If what?” Loki asked sharply, glaring at them “You think my husband has something to do with it?”

“We are trying to find that out, my lord, if you would let us” the detective sighed

“Thor had nothing to do with that family” Loki told him “I am sad over their deaths, we will be more than happy to visit their loved ones and pay our respects, but we didn’t know them. My husband to be didn’t know them”

“Then why do the staff insist he was there?” the detective asked

“I do not know but if you find out, please let us know” Loki said.

They looked unconvinced, clearly Loki was lying but other than blatantly call out a royal, they had no choice. Thor had been obliging, Loki was not.

“Perhaps we can meet with you another time, my prince” the Vanir addressed Thor.

It lifted Thor’s head from Loki’s shoulder and smiled at them, it didn’t reach his eyes.

“Of course, let my man of affairs know when, aye?” Thor said

“Yes, my lord”

Loki tried to stand as they did, but Thor pulled him back, keeping him firmly in his lap. He sat there awkwardly as Olivier appeared, suddenly from thin air, to take them away and left Thor and Loki alone.

Thor had once more lowered his head to Loki’s shoulder and Loki was sitting straight in realization.

“She was yours, wasn’t she?” Loki asked him softly “You got hurt when you met her”

“Aye” Thor’s voice was a whisper “she was mine”

He didn’t elaborate and Loki swallowed heavily “What happened?”

He felt Thor squeeze his hand and placed his free one upon it, despite the fact that it shook.

“He killed her” Thor spoke softly “Then tried to kill me”

Loki’s lips parted in a shocked inhale, then he closed his eyes “He almost succeeded”

Thor didn’t reply and Loki didn’t push, staying where Thor kept him. He’d stopped kissing him, which was a small mercy, so Loki stayed put, enjoying the silence as much as he could.

But it began to stretch and Loki licked his lips to say something.

“You need to stop tensing when I touch or kiss you” Thor said from behind him “It is a dead give away and people will start to talk, I told you before”

“Oh” Loki said, putting a lid on what he was about to say “I’m just…”

“Not used to it” Thor hummed “Perhaps we should change that”

Loki had time only to question that before Thor hoisted him up in his arms, ignoring his surprised yelp. He switched their places, tossing Loki in the chair he’d occupied and loomed over him, hands on either side of Loki’s hips.

The Jotun looked at him, surprised, then gasped as Thor placed his knee between Loki’s legs, just shy of touching his groin.

“What the hell are you doing!?” Loki retreated as much as he could, looking up at the man bent over him, his blue gaze intent.

“I have told you” Thor rumbled, his voice deeper than it had been a moment ago “That when you tense, it makes it look false. We will be caught and you will be put to death”

“I have told you” Loki said breathlessly “I am not used…”

“To _this_ , I know” Thor cut in

Loki backed up further when the man moved his hand from beside his hip to place it by Loki’s head and leaned even closer.

“You don’t know how to react when someone kisses you” Thor had his gaze on Loki’s mouth “You don’t know the feel of someone’s lips upon your own, you don’t know what it does to you. You don’t know how a single touch can light your spirit on fire and you don’t know how to react to it”

“Thor, don’t you dare” Loki whispered, scrambling back as much as the chair allowed “I will not…”

“Hush” Thor whispered, cupping Loki’s cheek next and looked into his eyes “Don’t be afraid”

“I’m not” Loki’s voice shook, his eyes were watery

“You’re shaking” Thor stroked his cheek “I won’t hurt you”

Loki blinked a few times and realised that he was indeed shivering.

“Thor, I …”

The rest of his sentence was taken from him, along with his breath, as Thor’s lips landed on his own and his body went deliciously warm.

***

Loki’s lips were tingling, that was the first thing that he felt. They tingled like the electricity that flowed through Thor, the essence of his being.

He had never felt this, the press of someone so powerful against something as intimate as his lips. It was jolting, it was a sublime feeling, dusted with curiosity and made Loki stop from smacking Thor upside the head like he wanted.

The man smothered him, Loki felt him everywhere, his hand holding his cheek, the other brushing his knee. Thor’s own leg between his own, almost touching the V of his thighs, he felt it all.

Thor’s breath ghosted over his lips and the man tilted his head, his tongue licking Loki’s bottom lip before he pulled it between his teeth, nipping it gently.

Loki let out a soft gasp, his eyes closing, his body lifting up to Thor’s. It wasn’t of its own accord, Thor’s muscled arm had slid around him, cradling his back as he was lifted up to be kissed deeper.

His own hands were still upon the chair, useless and stunned. He didn’t know what to do with them as Thor kissed him again, this time, making Loki open his mouth so he could deepen the kiss.

A soft noise escaped Loki’s throat and Thor chuckled softly, a thrum of delight within his chest. Loki opened his mouth and Thor pushed his tongue within, making Loki’s toes curl. Loki had never known this way of kissing, never. It was thrilling and Loki slot their mouths close together, kissing Thor back, his eyes still shut.

It was unreal and Loki craned his neck when Thor pulled back to tease him.

No, he realized as he was released and his eyes flew open, Thor was pulling away, he was wiping his lips.

He wasn’t even looking at Loki as he straightened, looking instead to the side, where the maid stood with Loki’s lunch.

“Of course, my dear” Thor answered his question, the one Loki hadn’t heard because his heart was pounding in his ears “Set it down, I believe the Lord is hungry”

Loki stared at him, his face blushing and heated. He brought his shaking hands to his cheeks and tried to control his breathing. He was suddenly breathless.

Thor seemed proud of himself and the maid just looked like she wanted to escape already.

“What…” Loki whispered

Thor smirked and leaned down again, holding Loki’s chin between his thumb and fingers, then giving it a gentle shake, much like he had done before.

Of course, earlier, he hadn’t kissed Loki senseless.

“Just a lesson, my darling” Thor kissed his pink lips once more, then winked.

He stood again, waiting for the maid to leave, then pulled out a chair.

“Do sit up, you’re slouching” Thor reprimanded in teasing.

Slouching was hardly the word for it, Loki was laying in the chair and he pulled himself up, his hands on his cheeks, trying to cool them.

Once they were alone, he glared at Thor “What the hell was that?”

“A lesson” Thor beamed, piling a plate for Loki “I told you – you will let our secret out if you keep tensing the way you do”

“And what will this do!?” Loki snapped “You crazy…”

“Keep your voice low” Thor hissed, putting the plate before Loki “The walls have ears”

“Don’t do that again!” Loki picked up his fork “I mean it!”

“Oh, but you responded so well…” Thor drawled.

“Not again!” Loki stabbed his lunch, making Thor chuckle “I’ll punch you”

“I love you too, dear”

Loki shot him a dirty look and Thor laughed softly, filling himself another lunch.

He could hear Loki mumbling beside him but he said nothing.

If nothing else, Loki was keeping him from thinking about Freya.

And how he could likely be held responsible for her death.

He stuffed food into his mouth to distract himself and Loki did the same for the same reasons. As a result, it was extremely silent and a little awkward.

If the staff had anything to think about, they said nothing and silently cleared the table when they finished a while later.

Loki looked at the table cloth for a few seconds, then exhaled and looked to Loki.

“I’m going out for a little while” he said

“Your father wanted you to stay here” Loki pointed out quickly

“I know” Thor flicked the edge of the table “but I need to. I … I want to be alone”

“Ah, I see” Loki smirked “And since I am always around you, you feel smothered”

“Near fatally” Thor agreed, his own lips curving into a smile.

Loki laughed softly and shooed him “Go, I have your books to read anyway”

“My books?” Thor frowned “You can understand Aesir enough, aye?”

“I have improved vastly” Loki told him, proud of himself “But go, I still have to find out what will happen to Oberyn”

Thor gasped “Oh, you won’t like it”

“Don’t you spoil it for me!” Loki pointed a finger at him “I will destroy you!”

Thor pulled his lips inwards, but the desire to speak was becoming too much.

“Thor, no!” Loki warned “Leave! Leave right now!”

It took everything in Thor not to yell out what happened in his booming voice, it took everything in him to get up and run away from Loki when the man took off his shoe and it took everything in him, when he was alone in the corridor, his mood fading to nothing but grief, not to curl up on the golden floors and sob his heart out.

It took everything.

***

Thor was in the gardens and it was getting dark.

The stars were on one side of the sky, the dimming light on the other. He was sitting in Gaia’s gardens, within the sweet smelling roses, blooms and grass. Even the leaves had a scent to them and Thor found it relaxed him.

He’d been here for hours, sitting here, all alone, looking at the skies, going through his memories.

They were all he had of them now – his mother and his Freya.

All he had was the memory of their voices, the feel of their hair, the feel of their love for him.

Nothing else.

It was taken from him, snatched from his hands, never to return. It tore his heart to shreds and Thor lowered his head into his hands, squeezing his eyes shut.

This was not fair.

The pain he was in was not fair!

“Ah, there he is, the high and mighty Crowned Prince Thor, here to judge us all!”

The voice was slurred, drunk, angry and belonged to Balder. It made Thor lift his head and twist around to look at his brother, walking over.

His face was angry and he glared at Thor, a bottle of half drunk mead in his hands.

Thor rolled his eyes, not having the patience to deal with this.

“Go to your rooms, Balder” Thor turned away “I don’t have time for you tonight”

Balder scoffed “Since when do you ever? You dismiss me, like you dismissed me now”

Thor ignored him, which further fuelled Balder’s anger, as he sat there, unaware.

But a moment later, Thor yelped as cold mead was poured upon his head and back. He shouted in anger and shot to his feet.

“Are you mad!?” Thor shouted, trying to get it off him “What the hell is wrong with you!?”

“Telling you your place like you did this morning” Balder hissed, tossing the empty bottle at his feet “You think that just because you are older, you are better than me, you are not!”

Thor grit his jaw and clenched his hands “Balder, I swear, go to your rooms or you will regret it”

“Oh?” Balder mocked him “What will you do? Sic your Jotun bride on me?”

The second prince was very clearly drunk. His hair was mussed up, his eyes were bloodshot, he was disoriented, his clothes were wrinkled and his cape was missing. He couldn’t even stand straight and Thor knew that if he punched him like he wanted to, Balder would be out cold.

“I’ll knock you down” Thor warned “I told you, go back. I don’t want to talk to you”

And he wanted a bath. The mead was stinking up his clothes and hair.

“Well, I do” Balder narrowed his eyes “And you will listen!”

“I will not” Thor said firmly, turning to walk away.

“You’re just pissed because your bitch died” Balder called after him.

He smiled when he saw Thor freeze.

“Ah!” he grinned “didn’t think I knew, did you? Didn’t think that someone you won’t even _humour_ had the intelligence to figure it out. You’ve been moping since you came back. What happened? Did you kill her when she discovered your cold heart?”

That had Thor turning back and a moment later, Balder groaned as he was grabbed around the collar and slammed into the nearest tree.

“I did not kill her!” Thor snarled, his fist raised to do some serious damage to Balder’s face.

“That’s not what the rumours say” Balder beamed “And go ahead, hit me. Then explain to Father why you did. You know how Grandmother will react, too. I’m untouchable”

“We’ll see about that” Thor tightened his grip for a second, then lowered his hand, no matter how hard it was.

He shoved Balder to the ground, watching him stumble and fall.

“Get out of here” Thor rumbled.

Balder laughed and staggered to his feet, brushing his clothes down “You have to admit. Even with all your glory and might, not being able to protect her must be hard. So if you didn’t kill her, then you weren’t fast enough, how charming, isn’t it? That you had the only two women whose love you prized were snatched from you”

“Does it satisfy you that it happened?” Thor snapped “Huh? Do you like seeing me in pain like this? Does it make you happy, hurting me more?”

Balder cackled, then doubled over as though it was the funniest thing.

But it was his answer that made Thor go cold.

His lips curled into a snarl and he hissed at Thor “Yes. Yes it does. I know rule like you don’t, I know everything, I learn and I evolve while you play house with married women and Jotuns. You don’t deserve the crown, you will taint it. Sick minded, weak, untrustworthy, that is what you are! And to think that they want you up there, it’s ridiculous”

“Is that why you took my friend?” Thor frowned “To hurt me?”

“He was never your friend” Balder mocked “a kindred spirit, was that what you told him? We laugh at you, Thor, that you think he cared about you. He was just using you, getting enough secrets from you to ensure that when you found out, we will have your silence”

It froze Thor and his eyes widened.

“I know about Loki, Thor” Balder grinned “How ‘real’ your marriage will be. You are using a bought whore to find your hammer and bring it back, ha!”

His cackle was terrifying and Thor licked his lips, speechless.

“So go on, do your worst to me” Balder invited, arms spread “but know that one word to Father and he will have Loki’s head lopped off. The _disgusting_ Jotun you care for will be dead and you won’t get your hammer back.”

There was nothing Thor could say to him and Balder smiled.

“ _Our_ love is _real_ ” Balder told him, stumbling a little as he leaned into Thor’s space “Yours is not, it never will be. So I suggest you keep your judgement to yourself unless you want your truth to be out”

Thor leaned back from Balder and the stench that came from him. He was clearly deep in his cups.

The second prince smiled, his anger spent, and reached over to pat Thor’s cheek, laughing when he batted it away.

“Do give Loki my love” he mocked, turning away to head back “and try not to over think this. Keep away from us and I will keep your secret”

Thunder rumbled in the distance as Balder headed back and Thor fought to control the urge to strike him with lightning.

But it would do no good for him.

None at all.


	9. Lust and Rage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His body had thrummed all over as Thor kissed him and it was hard to stop. It was like electricity pricked his skin, making it hard to stop kissing Thor.

The afternoon sun was painting everything into bright, beautiful colours by the time Thor returned.

He hadn’t gone to the palace last night, nor returned to it in the morning. He had gone to retrieve his mare from Vanahiem. He didn’t care if he was thought to be a suspect, Balder’s words were still cruel to him. He wanted to get away from that and it made him reckless.

Gavel’s home, when he went there, was still moving, apparently a cousin or someone was to inherit and Thor glared openly at the staff members when they saw him. Thunder rumbled in the distance as he approached like a wraith, terrifying them all.

They knew what they had done – they had framed him for the murder and for Gavel’s death.

Thor was told the man ingested poison when the detectives were over. The servants made his suicide appear to be Thor’s doing so they scattered like rats when he came over, all of them thinking he was there for them.

It angered Thor to the point where the clouds and thunder became more the more intimidating.

When he went to the stables, they rumbled angrily above his head because his mare was dressed in Gavel’s colours. She looked at him, her ears perking up and disproval evident in her brown gaze.

She was not impressed by him.

Muttering apologies, Thor yanked off the horrible attire, threw it to the floor along with the saddle before he led her out. Her tail flicked him every now and then as they walked back to the bi frost sight, then later back to the palace.

Thor didn’t ride her, but her presence soothed him. All night and morning, they travelled together, silent but loyal companions – even if Thor had abandoned her there.

He fed her apples and she nuzzled his shoulder, pulled his clothes, his hair…she had missed him.

After he put her in her stables, she nickered softly and Thor kissed her on the head.

With her affection obtained, she could rest for the day and Thor headed back, his feet dragging on the ground, to go to his chambers.

The mere thought was aggravating his headache and Thor clenched his teeth, desperate to get a drink in his hands. The servants sensed his impending arrival when he entered the palace, thanks to the clouds and thunder, so they stayed well out of his way.

Thor was glad, he didn’t think he could handle meeting anyone at the moment. All he wanted was his drink and peace. That was it.

His boot clicked on the marble floors as he went to his chambers, placing a hand on the lock to open it, then went inside.

He closed and locked it behind him, then headed further inside, opening the door from the entrance seating area, relieved to see it empty.

As entertaining as Loki was, Thor wanted a little peace for himself today. He wanted his bed, possibly a few drinks and the worry of how many people knew the reality of his and Loki’s relationship.

Balder knew because of Svadilfari. That much was clear, that was something that Thor blamed himself for.

Everyone knew Loki was bought, there would be protests, much like Odin’s, but other than Balder and Svadilfari, Thor doubted many wouldn’t be inclined to believe him if he set everything right.

And he needed to start with Loki.

He knew the boy disliked him and that physical affection – even false – was unwelcome, but he had to stop tensing. Otherwise Thor was never getting into Jotunhiem, never getting his hammer and the norns would laugh at him forever.

Loki was key to his project, as much as the Jotun hated it, Thor reasoned as he went to his bedroom, that is why he insisted.

It had nothing to do with how Loki happened to make him smile for the first time since Freya was lost, nor how Thor unconsciously wanted him to be around.

The doors to his bedroom opened with a nudge and Thor walked in, pulling his cape off and tossing it on a chair, then toed off his boots, undid his armour and dropped that to the floor, uncaring.

Barefoot, Thor went to his bathing chambers, depositing his clothes behind him in a messy trail.

The prince had entered the bathing chambers when he stopped, frowned and walked backwards, his brows raising when he saw properly what he’d seen out of the corner of his eyes.

There, in the middle of his bed, upon his expensive covers and soft bed, it lay curled up.

_Ruben_

The big headed, bug eyed twit was sleeping as though he owned the bed, the room, the palace and Thor raised a brow at it, looking to the door, hoping to see a servant, then back at the animal.

He was stark naked, his clothes were dirty and he was tired, but this animal was asleep on his bed!

Groaning, Thor went to the bathroom, forgoing a luxurious bath for a short one and came back out in his robe, his hair damp.

There was movement outside and Thor padded to the door and saw no sign of his Jotun.

“Loki!” Thor called, making a maid stop mid dusting

“My lord” she said, “He’s not here.”

Thor looked at her, frowning, possibly a little too hard because she flinched. He softened his voice and even smiled a little.

“Where did he go?” he asked, trying to keep the irritation out of his voice

All he wanted was to sleep and here was Loki, skipping around, leaving his annoying cat on his bed.

“With the Queen” the maid said, her voice soft “She came her to take him out. Last I heard they were in the gardens, having tea with her friends”

Thor hummed and tried not to roll his eyes.

“Could you please pick this cat up from my bed?” Thor asked her “Loki likes to leave him around to annoy me”

“Of course, my lord” the maid was quick to rush.

She passed him, head lowered, went to his bed and picked Ruben up. The cat meowed and lifted it fat head to glare at Thor, as though he knew he was the one to blame for this.

He was carried out, growling and meowing but Thor paid no attention. He went to his room, snapped the door shut and went to his bed, ready to spend his day sleeping.

***

His temper hadn’t improved, Olivier noticed, and he told the staff to keep their distance from the raging prince. Thunder had been rumbling outside for most of the day and it was clear from his reddened eyes that Thor’s attempt at getting sleep was a failure.

The prince was agitated, snappy, tired and hungry.

And to add to that, dinner was taking slightly longer because Thor had wanted to eat with Loki.

Loki, who hadn’t made an appearance yet, making Olivier wonder what the hell lay in store for him when he did come back. He’d spent the day with Queen Bestla today, so Thor was alone – and angry.

He was sitting at the dining table, sipping wine from his goblet, his tired eyes focused on the window, watching the wind pick up, a testament of his temper.

Olivier had tried to ask him if he could give him dinner but Thor refused, intent on waiting for Loki. It was irrational, but the man wasn’t in the mood to think about what he was doing.

He was angry and he needed a reason to let it out.

And unfortunately, that reason walked into the chambers, escorted my Prince Balder.

And that did it.

Already frustrated and angry, seeing Loki following Balder into his chambers, seeing Balder, smiling at him after what he said proved too much.

They had barely closed the door to the welcoming seating area and entered Thor’s lobby when the Crowned Prince shot to his feet.

“Get out”

Loki, who had been talking to Balder, stopped midsentence looking at Thor, clearly not expecting this. and for a second he didn’t even know who Thor was talking to.

Then Balder tensed and stood taller.

“Not till you let me explain what…” he begun

But Thor was not listening, he strode to them the moment thunder roared behind him and lightning flashed outside. He was angry and needed an outlet.

“You think to escort him to my chambers after what you have said to me?” Thor snarled, all but yanking Loki away from Balder, pulling him to his side “Pretentious, spoiled little brat! You saunter in as though your speech has no consequences! I should have your tongue cut out!”

“Thor” Loki said firmly, coming between them, despite the grip Thor had on his arm “Let it go, calm down, you are making a scene”

But Loki’s words went over Thor, lost as he was in his anger.

“I was drunk” Balder said “I came to apologize”

Thor barked harshly in laughter “Ah, will the miracles never cease? Balder the Bright coming to apologize to someone as low as me?”

“Thor, stop this” Loki placed a hand on Thor’s chest when the man advanced on his brother “Balder, leave, this will wait till tomorrow”

“No, don’t leave” Thor tried moving forward “Why don’t you answer me? Why are you looking at the floor, look at me!”

“Balder, leave!” Loki turned to the second prince “Now!”

Balder hesitated, but by the look on his brother’s face, he would likely be beaten down if he tried to stay. Thunder still sounded in the distance and the people of Asgard went to save themselves and whatever else needed to be protected from the oncoming rain.

Inside the palace, Balder turned and headed out, Thor yelling obscenities after him, trying to get past Loki and punch the man, at least.

But when the door slammed shut behind Balder, Thor was left without a target and he looked at Loki, who he still had in his grip.

“Why did you let him leave?” Thor demanded, turning on him “You let him go!”

“Of course I did, you looked ready to kill him!” Loki snapped, pushing away from him “Have you lost your mind? He’s your brother!”

“He spoke to me as though he was better than me” Thor seethed at Loki “You don’t speak about something you don’t know anything about, Loki!”

“I don’t care what he did, you are going to be King and such things, such actions were meant to be beneath you!” Loki frowned, brushing back his raven hair “What example are you setting for him?”

“I don’t give a damn what example I have been setting for him” Thor hissed but his voice rose with every word he spoke “he is below me in station and in life! _I_ am going to be king! _I_ am going to get everything, despite what he thinks! _I_ am the worthy son, not him! And he should be _flogged_ for having the gall to speak to me with such disrespect! He’s an envious bastard, a right monster if he thinks to do so!”

Loki stared at him, his eyes and expression shocked.

“He’s your family, your brother” Loki consoled

“He’s a subject first” Thor snarled “As are you, Loki, below me. All of you are below me, but feel right to treat me as though I am of your station. Leaving me alone all day, gallivanting off to have tea parties, insulting me, no doubt laughing at my expense as you walked arm and arm with Balder”

Loki pressed his lips together but said nothing. He knew Thor was drunk, that he was sprouting nonsense in his anger, and trying to calm him down.

Thor, however, didn’t seem to want to calm down and he took a step to Loki, grabbing his chin and forcibly making him look up at him, at his blazing eyes. It made the Jotun swallow heavily and try to stay very still.

“You are forbidden” Thor hissed “To talk to him, to walk with him or be around him unless it is unavoidable. And even then you will keep your gaze low and not look at him. You are mine, Loki. False or not, you are _mine_. Just like the throne, just like my power. I own you, and if you forget it, I have a stack of papers that will prove it.”

Loki grit his teeth at the pain that went through him at that line. Though he and Thor were not necessarily friends, hearing that hurt and in shame, Loki felt his eyes prickle.

“Understand?” Thor asked, giving him a little shake

Loki nodded at him, waiting for this to be over “Yes”

“Good” Thor snarled, letting his hand fall to Loki’s arm as he dragged him to the dinner table and all but threw him into a chair “Sit down. You have kept me waiting all night, _my love_ , so now you will grace me with your presence”

Loki hadn’t an appetite left, but he stayed there, waiting for Thor to do something more, say something else.

But all Thor did was put in small portions of food for himself, just enough to kill the biting hunger he felt and slowly began to eat.

He ignored Loki entirely, but Loki knew that if he moved, Thor would make him stay, he would force him to.

So he stayed, like a good little piece of property, Loki stayed and watched his fake husband eat everything that he wanted.

***

Another pair of door slammed shut in the royal wing as Balder strode angrily into his chambers. His valet, who was dozing in a chair shot upright, blinking a few times rapidly before he gained coherence and stood.

“My lord” he bowed “Should I have dinner set?”

Balder looked at him for a few seconds, reigned in his anger and nodded “aye, for two. Tell Lord Svadilfari that he will dine here, with me”

“Yes, my lord” the valet bowed again and went to do as he was told.

Balder pulled his cape off and went to his bedroom, ignoring the fact that the door remained wide open, he undressed and changed into his casual wear. His head was still throbbing and so was his heart.

He had behaved badly. He had behaved against his station and below his worth.

And now Thor was ‘right’ even if Balder was the one who acted like a prince. True last night was one of his least graceful ones but in his defence, he was drunk, worried over Thor outing their relationship before he was ready, worried that Odin wouldn’t like him being with someone so much older than him.

As a second prince, Balder had freedom to be with whoever he wanted. Bestla would never stop him but he feared judgement on Odin’s part, on the part of his people, who would be cruel to him and to Svadilfari, thinking him an opportunist.

So, Svadilfari had agreed, rather insisted, that they keep their relationship secret.

Last night, Balder and Svadilfari had talked to each other about how Thor could and possibly would potentially make things harder for them and Svadilfari accidentally told him about how Loki was bought, a paid consort as a last ditch, desperate attempt at Thor getting his hammer back. They had a few drinks, Balder had more, then went after Thor to let his sentiments be known to his brother.

Svadilfari had thought it a good idea, too, urging him to blackmail Thor into keeping his mouth shut. At the time, the idea was wonderful, now Balder regretted it. He’d regretted it in the morning, too, more than the horrible after effects of drink, and wanted to apologize. He had tried finding Thor in the morning but he hadn’t been there and later he was informed that he was sleeping.

Balder knew Thor was angry, he was trapped, he would definitely lash out at him, but he hadn’t expected him to not listen to him at all. he hadn’t expected so much rage.

He had been with Loki, hoping to dampen some of it but it hadn’t worked and now Balder found himself facing a vindictive Thor, possibly, making things worse for himself and Svadilfari.

Balder huffed and kicked off his shoes, going to wear his slippers as he came back and waited for Svadilfari.

It took fifteen minutes for his lover to come to him and when he did, he went right for Balder.

“My prince,” he bowed his head before walking into Balder’s arms, eager to return his affection “What has you upset, dear?”

“You know what” Balder muttered against his shoulder “He didn’t even talk to me. I went with Loki, hoping his presence will calm him enough for me to apologize, but even that failed”

Svadilfari cooed at him and kissed his head “Worry not, love, he will listen when he is ready”

“Or out us before you are” Balder said miserably “He’s so angry”

“Rightly so?” Svadilfari said softly “You did dump your ale on him”

“It was your idea to black mail him!” Balder pulled away

“It was” Svadilfari soothed “But you went the extra mile and though I commend you, I also think that was a little…”

“Too much?” Balder asked

He was nearly pouting and Svadilfari kissed his lips.

“Possibly” he purred “but perhaps next time, I approach him since his true problem is with me”

“Perhaps” Balder sighed, resting his head on his shoulder once more “but I don’t want him to roast that beautiful face of yours with his lightning”

“Ah yes, that would make me less attractive to you” Svadilfari joked

“Would it?” Balder teased, reaching up to flick his chin “maybe it will improve on this. I heard scars are sometimes attractive”

Svadilfari snickered and ducked his head to kiss Balder’s hand “Then I will go and make him angrier than he is, standing before the bolt of lightning and put my face in it”

That made Balder chuckle and earned Svadilfari another kiss.

“You know how to make me feel better” Balder said, stroking Svadilfari’s neck “Thank you”

“Well, if I didn’t, you would hardly keep me around, aye?”

“I might” Balder smiled “But for carnal pleasured, nothing else”

“Ah, I understand” Svadilfari nodded “I am to fill your harem, all by myself”

“Exactly”

Svadilfari kissed him again and this time they lingered, enjoying each other’s company for the entire time it took for their dinner to be set.

As both princes had their dinner, one in enjoyment another in misplaced rage, their father and King sat alone in the royal dining room.

There was no sound, no voice, not even the cutlery made a single a whisper in the room, such was the silence there. And loneliness.

Once upon a time, Odin was desperate to have a dinner away from his children, their arguments and teasing, he was desperate to enjoy a meal alone with Gaia, his wife, sitting before her, smiling and talking to him. Thanks to her, Odin had to let out every pair of trousers he’d owned in his life.

Now when he sat alone, as he did now, without his sons or his mother, who had retired early tonight, he didn’t have the heart to eat. He didn’t have the strength to sit here, shrouded in loneliness, to eat his meal alone.

It was delicious, no doubt, but it made Odin feel sick.

He wanted Gaia back.

He remembered, because nothing was stopping his thoughts now, how she would use her napkin to wipe his lips, calling him a barbarian, calling him ill mannered.

Often times, he would then throw her over his shoulder and carry her off to the bedroom to enjoy their time alone.

Now he hated that bed, he hated sleeping there, he hated whatever he had to do alone.

In the corner, standing with his arms tied before him, Eyvindr watched his king’s sadness. His back was hunched, his shoulders slouched as he sat there with his elbows on the table, head bowed. His eye was focused on his empty plate and his mind lost in the pain that came with his past.

Eyvindr was reminded again and again of how Odin had lost half of himself. Even the distractions that came with being a King were not enough in moments like these, moments when he was so alone when the room seemed stifling.

He longed to start a conversation but he knew Odin wouldn’t listen. He was in too much pain.

As he sighed, Eyvindr stilled when he heard the first sound of the night.

A soft, quiet sob.

He felt his heart shatter into a thousand pieces as Odin covered his eyes with his hand and tried to control himself. His once strong shoulders shook as he wept, his body felt tired.

He was so, so alone.

It killed his loyal and often annoying valet, the man taking a few steps to him. He was stopped, not a moment later, when the doors to the room opened and a guard walked in, his spear held straight by him.

Odin looked up as well, quickly hiding his heart broken expression when the guard tapped his spear on the floor to make an announcement.

“Lady Frigga of Vanahiem” the guard all but yelled “arrives to share dinner with the Elder Queen and her son King Odin”

Odin gave him a dry glare “Must you speak as if I don’t know who I am?”

Eyvindr smiled softly, looked at the floor and retreated to get another plate setting. The guard looked lost for a second but was rescued quiet quickly when Frigga walked in.

For a second, Odin only stared.

Her hair was once more open, falling freely down her back and her clever, all knowing smile graced her lips. She was wearing a beautifully elegant and form enhancing peach dress that trailed behind her and a shawl of grey draped over her shoulders and chest.

She looked stunning.

Her steps never faltered and Odin was unaware of anything but her until she stopped right beside him, her beautiful eyes glinting in amusement.

“My King” she curtsied and that brought feeling into Odin’s dead brain.

“Oh!” Odin shot to his feet instantly and cleared his throat “Forgive me”

He moved around his side and pulled out a chair beside him.

“I – I am sorry, I didn’t mean to gawk, I was… I mean” Odin stood there after having pulled her seat out “I didn’t expect company, I will have your place set for you”

“It’s alright” Frigga smiled at him “Your mother invited me here, but I see I am far too early”

“N-Not really” Odin grimaced “She retired early”

And now Odin knew why. She fancied herself a matchmaker, too, the devil woman!

“Ah” Frigga winced “Then this is truly awkward”

 

“No, no, please, I wouldn’t want you to feel that way, please join me, I was just getting started” Odin gestured to her seat “I will call for some plates and utensils”

“Thank you” Frigga smiled, but remained standing. When Odin seemed to hesitate, she smiled “I cannot sit before a King is seated”

Odin shook his head “Madam, I am hardly a King to you. I am indebted to you, please don’t think of yourself below me in station.”

Frigga felt colour warm her cheeks and sat down, waiting until Odin was seated before she looked at the food.

“Everything looks delicious” she complimented “will it be unladylike if I have it all”

“My Lady” Odin smiled at her, then Eyvindr as he came to set her plates, graceful as ever “it would be a feat”

“A feat would then require a reward” Frigga reached over to take her napkin and place it in her lap “mayhap the King would indulge an old healing woman in a night on the town?”

“Never old” Odin told her “But I would love to take you on a stroll”

“Perhaps not a stroll” Frigga nodded her thanks to him when he handed her a bowl of vegetables “But a ride?”

“A ride?” Odin asked “Does the lady want a side saddle for it?”

Frigga raised her brow at him “Nay, the lady knows how to ride astride and she believes she can beat the King in a race if he insists on the side saddle”

“Oh, the lady is so confident?” Odin smiled, handing her chicken grilled rolls “Perhaps she forgets that I am older, therefore better”

Frigga let out a highly disbelieving laugh “Oh, the men who think age is wisdom and skill”

“Ha!” Odin mimicked “the women who think they ride as well as I do, when I am clearly the best” 

Frigga grinned at that and Eyvindr marvelled at the fact that she managed to change Odin’s mood within seconds.

“Is it your arrogance that gets you so wanted by women?” Frigga asked after a while as they ate.

Odin hummed mid bite, swallowed, then wiped his lips with a napkin before answering.

“My lady, please do not mention that” he said “I shudder even now when I think about it”

“Really?” Frigga leaned over a little “What happened?”

“Everything” Odin huffed, shaking his head “Ladies of the court from different districts all but threw their daughters at me. Not my sons, that would be understandable, but me. There was one who plotted to have her daughter hidden in my bedroom so that she can scream out a scandal and force a wedding”

Frigga gaped “Nay, you are making this up”

“I am not” Odin told her, his expression still scandalised “It was luck that my valet came upon her rather than me, I couldn’t imagine what could have happened otherwise.”

“Something unpleasant, for sure” Frigga sat back “My word, what people are capable of”

“Terrible things, aye” Odin agreed

Their conversation faded out for a moment as they ate, then restarted after Odin poured her a glass of mead.

“Pray, I hope you don’t mind me asking” Odin set the bottle aside “Do you have – uh – do you have children?”

Frigga stiffened and for a second, Odin was lost in despair, his mouth opened to apologize but she raised a hand to stop him.

“I did” she said softly “I had a daughter, who was born too early. She was weak and as much as I tried to heal her, I couldn’t. She passed in my arms when she was seven months old”

“Oh norns…” Odin whispered, his gaze becoming glassy “Lady Frigga, I … I am so sorry, I shouldn’t have asked”

She shrugged “It was decades ago, I was young. Besides, I would hardly be angry at you, you are the only man who treated me right after. My own husband left me when it happened”

Pain flooded into Odin and his arms longed to hold her.

“I am honoured that you think I treated you right, when I have hardly done anything” Odin’s voice was a deep, sad rumble “you have my condolences and my admiration. It couldn’t have been an easy task, doing what you did for Thor when you suffered such pain yourself”

“I have devoted myself to helping parents who are going through pain as I have” Frigga said, looking at her food, though not eating “I couldn’t let you suffer the way I did if there was something I could do about it”

She hadn’t looked at him as she spoke but a moment later a strong hand was set upon hers and she lifted her lashes to see the King watching her, sincerity in his gaze.

“Then both my debt and gratitude is bigger than I previously thought” Odin told her “You are sent by the norns themselves. A saviour for me and my family, nothing less. Please allow me to repay you in any way you deem fit. Be it now or later”

Frigga smiled at him, slowly turning her hand over beneath his so they could lace their fingers together for just a moment.

Just one, sweet moment, where they both thought about the same thing, but stayed silent otherwise.

***

The town was fantastic and as they headed out, Odin mentally prepared a lovely time for his beautiful companion. Frigga has all the superior graces of elevated rank in his opinion and he realized he loved watching her – do anything, basically.

She rode as she had said; with grace and poise even while riding astride. Her hair flowed behind her like a veil and Odin felt his fingers twitch with the need to run them through it.

Frigga was beautiful and for the first time in a very long time, he felt his heart start to thump louder than it usually did.

He could listen to it and tell himself that he was alive, because of it, because of her.

He’d only ever felt this way about Gaia.

And though Odin was in pain, would forever be in pain after losing her, Frigga helped soothe him, like a balm.

Which was why he couldn’t look away from her as they observed the town, the two of them leaving their horses in a stable, paying for the stable hand to keep them safe, then took their journey on foot.

There was a tavern that Frigga insisted she try and Odin stayed close by, his eyes doubling in size when he saw that there was a ring made in the basement, men fighting each other as the patrons placed bets on it. He assumed that Frigga had made a mistake but the glee on her face as she took in their watered down ale kegs was plain she came here because she wanted to.

At the expression on his face, she shrugged and blushed.

“You can’t always be lady like” she told him as she handed him his keg and took a big swig of her own.

Odin followed suit, almost making a face at the drink. It was disgusting and he placed his aside on a dirty table, which he didn’t try to touch. Frigga, who was looking around at everyone, turned and burst out laughing when she saw Odin discreetly wipe at the table with his handkerchief.

“My lord” Frigga snickered “you look clean enough to be suspicious, pray stop wiping the table”

“It’s disgusting” Odin grimaced “I don’t want to touch it”

“Then don’t touch it, place your elbow on it” Frigga took another swig

“That’s touching” Odin pointed out “And you’re clean! No one thinks you are suspicious!”

“Oh, they do, but they know well enough not to try anything on a lady with my talents” Frigga beamed at him.

Her smile disarmed him and Odin quickly went back to ignoring his drink and trying to clean his table.

“So” Frigga turned to him, a smile upon her lips “What bothers the King of Asgard?”

Odin looked at her for a moment, then blinked “Me? Nothing is bothering me, why do you ask?”

“Well, for one” Frigga said “You seem very distracted, more so than you had been at dinner. So I wonder what you are thinking”

What Odin was thinking about was Frigga but there was no way in Valhalla or hel that he would ever admit to it. So, with her beautiful eyes watching, he said the first thing that came to his mind.

“The lady is very astute” he said “For – nothing. Uh…I guess I am just bothered with Thor’s choice in consort”

Odin then proceeded to applaud himself for telling this woman, an almost stranger despite what she had done, the inner workings of his mind.

“Loki?” Frigga furrowed her brow “You dislike him?”

“You’ve met him?” Odin asked, brows raised

“I was introduced In the Queen’s parlour, yes” Frigga said “He seems to be very nice and spoke highly of Thor. Why do you dislike him?”

“I don’t exactly dislike him” Odin said slowly “It’s more that … I have a hesitance in accepting him.”

“Ah” Frigga smiled, not at all offended “He’s Jotun”

Odin conceded with a grimace “That might have something to do with it”

Frigga took another large sip before she set her drink down “You know what happened isn’t Loki’s fault”

“I know” Odin said, looking at the table “It’s still hard, accepting that my son fell in love with one of them, then bought him from a well known whore trader”

Frigga furrowed her brow at that “He saved his life, you mean. Everyone knows that the people that demon keeps are nothing more than empty shells. Instead of demeaning what Thor did, why not commend him for saving the life and spirit of someone who desperately needed it? It shows how much Thor loves him.”

“I know, but…”

“No buts, my King” she smiled “You are fortunate enough to watch your children fall in love and be with the one they want. It wouldn’t be nice to take it for granted”

Odin looked at her and felt his face heat up a little “I don’t want him to have his heart broken that is all. My thoughts shouldn’t matter, I just don’t want him to get hurt by one of them. I know they are while and clever, they betray a person in a second”

 “That was your tragic experience” Frigga said gently “Don’t let it govern the lives of your children. You will end up regretting it”

Odin sighed but stayed silent and Frigga let the subject drop. But her words still swirled inside his head as they sat with each other, watching the ring, then the patrons around.

The match went on and soon both of them started turned their attention to it, commenting to each other about it occasionally.

The ring was a below ground construct, surrounded by those betting and watched by the customers and guests from above. Cheers sounded as one won over the other and shouts of dismay lit the tavern when bets were collected from those who lost.

Odin, who was studying the stinky, dirty, sweaty men with disdain, missed the men who came to their table initially. It was only when he heard Frigga’s voice that he turned and immediately felt his anger bubble up inside him.

“Come on, sweetheart, one dance” a hulking sort of man stood over Frigga, smiling at her “You know you want to”

“Aye, as much as you want to get knocked on your arse, I do” she hissed.

“If you’re the one knocking me, I wouldn’t even care, darling”

Odin saw red as the man reached over to touch her cheek. His heart throbbed with rage as he stepped forth, wanting to break the man’s hand off.

But then something else happened entirely.

As he reached for her, Frigga grabbed the man’s hand, twisted it behind his back before she knocked the back of his knee, forcing him to the ground and _yanked_.

Odin watched the man scream in pain as she dislocated his shoulder and turned to the other staring at her.

“Next?” she taunted, a smirk on her face as she dropped the first man.

Standing there in shock was likely the least graceful thing for Odin to do, but that was what he did and Frigga brushed her hair back, stepped on the screaming, writhing man as she literally walked over him and headed to the door.

She did turn and smile at Odin “Coming, my king?”

Immediately, Odin seemed to be recognized and the men around him retreated, averting their gazes and trying to hide their faces from him.

They didn’t need to, he only had eyes for Frigga, who was walking to the door, hips swaying, calm and sure of herself. She was acting as though she hadn’t ripped a man’s arm out of its socket and left him writhing on the ground.

Odin’s lips curved into a grin and he beamed

_What a woman!_

His steps had a little more bounce as he went after her, eager to her company again.

***

Morning brought for Thor an insistent headache, a dry mouth, nausea and a dizziness that left no reason for him to think that he did anything other than over indulge in drink. His head was throbbing and even as he opened his eyes, he felt a crushing weight on his skull push him deeper into the mattress. Whatever it was, he hated it and turned on his back, closing his eyes instantly to keep the world from spinning.

“Olivier…” he groaned, his voice raspy and too loud for him “Olivier!”

He winced at himself when he yelled but a few seconds later he heard his valet approach him, dressed to the nines, probably. He felt movement beside him, then a small click told him water was placed next to his head.

“Don’t sit up too fast, you will feel sick”

Thor jolted, not only because of the touch – the intimate touch – to his neck, but by the decidedly feminine voice that accompanied it.

His eyes shot open and a few seconds later a woman’s face came into focus, her blonde hair framed her face and lovely blue eyes focused on him, her lips smiling and pouting. His eyes traveled lower and Thor felt them widen when he saw her wearing one of his tunics, in fact, it was the one he’d been wearing last night!

Oh norns, what had he done!?

Thor lifted his blankets and peeked beneath to realize that yes, he was naked under it, as if her presence wasn’t evidence enough.

“Damn it” Thor croaked, letting his head fall on his pillow “Oh, what did I do?”

The woman giggled, not at all offended at his rudeness.

“Well, if I get into that, it would be a little crass, don’t you think?” she beamed at him

Thor closed his eyes in mortification, rubbing his hands over his face, discovering that his lips were tender and that his jaw hurt, too.

Oh dear gods!

“Oh, this is a disaster, isn't it?” he groaned

That made the woman, who was busy lowering the shoulder of Thor’s tunic, turn to frown at him.

“Pardon?”

“I said this is a disaster, a mistake” Thor repeated “Where is my valet?”

“You dismissed him last night, as well as most of the staff, my prince” she replied “Do you not remember?”

Thor groaned in despair again, her squeaky voice irritating his frayed nerves.

“I can honestly say I do not” Thor huffed

With little choice left, Thor slowly sat up, a hand to his head when the world shifted a little. The woman smiled at him, still sitting very close and jutting out her ample bosom. Thor’s gaze, predictably fell upon them and he blinked.

“I think I am starting to remember a little”

She grinned at him and sat up straighter “In case you forget, my name is Bertha. We met at the tavern, my prince”

Bertha … tavern…what the bloody hell was happening!?

Bertha watched Thor double over, his face in his hands and smiled, brushing his hair back. He allowed it only because it soothed him before he sighed and looked at her.

“Where is Loki?” he asked after a second.

There was a sinking feeling in his gut, making him think that Loki was some place terrible.

Bertha frowned “You don’t remember? My lord, he’s in the cells, where you threw him last night…”

Without a second wasted, Thor shoved the covers – and Bertha - off, rushing to pick up his trousers where they had fallen. His face was pale, his eyes red and his head was still spinning but he ran ahead.

Of course, he stumbled the moment he stepped out of the rooms, falling against the couch, his eyes squeezing shut when he was blasted with fresh sunlight. He raised a hand to ward it off and heard voices.

“You damn fool, you’ll brain yourself!”

Bestla’s voice came to him, then her soft hands on his arms.

Belatedly, Thor realized he was bare from the waist up and felt chagrined at his grandmother seeing him in this state.

He was forced into a chair and his hand was curled around a glass.

“Close the bloody drapes!” Bestla snapped.

Thor relaxed when blessed dim lighting filled his living area and it was safe enough to open his eyes. His vision was dominated by Bestla, who looked at him, glaring in all her glory.

“Loki…” Thor began, only to yelp when she smacked him across the head “watch it, that hurt!”

“Good! It was meant to!” she snapped, delivering another and making Thor hiss

“Grand Ma, stop it!” Thor whined, cringing from her

“I should twist your ear for what you did, you idiot!” she scolded “Have you lost your mind!?”

“I would tell you if I remember, but I honestly do not!” Thor told her, then looked at the glass in his hand.

Cool water sat in it and he drank quickly, feeling better as it went down his throat. Bestla allowed this without hitting him because she, deep beneath the anger, cared.

That and she was waiting for a chance for him to say anything negative about the young man sitting behind her, covered in a cape and shawl, sitting there silently. He’d spent the night in a dark cell, which was far too close to his time with Taneleer and he wasn’t speaking.

He hadn’t said a word to her, not one.

And it worried her.

When Thor looked at her after draining the glass, then to Loki, who was focusing his gaze on the floor, no where else.

“If you give me a few minutes” Thor said gently, “I will fix this. but you need to leave me and Loki alone and someone get that woman out of my room!”

Bestla scoffed and looked at Eyvindr and Olivier “Take out the trash, please”

Eyvindr, trained to laugh at the most inappropriate times, snorted and Olivier glared at him as they headed to Thor’s bedroom. There was loud protesting from Beth, but in the end, she was given no choice as she was escorted out and taken to wherever she wanted to go.

Bestla stood over Thor, which the prince found very inconvenient.

“Could you, perhaps give me privacy?” Thor asked “I’m highly uncomfortable with our current positions”

It would have been funny if she wasn’t so angry, but she only pointed a finger at him.

“Don’t you ever do anything like this again” she warned him “I will not tolerate my future grand son in law treated like this!”

Thor raised his hands, trying not to cover his ears and placate her at the same time “I understand now please, let me apologize”

Loki didn’t even seem to hear him, he was trying not to panic.

Bestla didn’t want to go, but she trusted Thor enough and eventually she relented.

“I will be back in an hour” she said “If this is not fixed we will have a problem”

“Understood” Thor droned, then relaxed as she stepped back.

He stood and waited for her to leave before he went and grabbed his robe, putting it on then returned to Loki.

“Loki, I am so sorry” he whispered, looking around to see if anyone was there “What happened? I don’t even remember!”

He got no response and reached over, hesitantly, to tip Loki’s face to his. Instantly, Thor felt the color drain from his face when he saw what was before him.

Loki had a huge bruise on the side of his face, a cut over his brow and Thor felt like his heart was going to burst in guilt.

“I …”

“You didn’t do this”

It was the first thing Loki said to him, the first thing that day that had Thor feel a little relief.

“Loki” Thor whispered, stroking his cheek “What happened?”

Loki licked his lips and he cleared his throat before he spoke.

“As much as I want to blame you” he said “this is not your fault”

Thor frowned at him “What? How…”

He was so confused, it was killing him!

“I threw you in the cells” Thor whispered “Why?”

“I would love to blame you” Loki told him dryly “But all you did was act like an idiot and sleep with that wench last night. Nothing else was your doing”

Thor frowned “Would you care to explain what happened?”

“I’m tempted not to, but I fear I must, you will find out soon enough anyway” Loki huffed “You didn’t throw me in the cells, the person I attacked last night threw me there upon your orders”

That made the prince go very still and he stared at Loki “You attacked someone?”

“Aye” Loki said softly, looking to the floor

“Who did you attack?” Thor asked softly

He received no answer, only a side long glance from Loki, which looked more than a little worried.

“Loki, who did you attack?” Thor asked a little more firmly.

“Lord Svadilfari” Loki said softly, cringing a little as though he expected to be hit.

“Svadilfari…” Thor frowned “Loki, why did you attack him?”

“I was leaving the chambers, he was with a few friends” Loki told him “They made a few cruel jibes at me, I ignored them as best I could…till they insulted my mother”

Thor’s lips tightened “They were trying to rile you up”

“They did” Loki sighed “I went ballistic and I went right for his throat. Then they ganged up on me and…”

Loki gestured to his face and Thor exhaled.

“They shouldn’t have touched you” he rumbled

“Why because you treat me so well?” Loki looked at him, glowering “Everyone saw you bring that woman there, they are all talking about it. If you own me, like you said last night, at least act like it”

Thor had the grace to blush and look at the floor “I shouldn’t have done that, I am sorry”

“What you should or shouldn’t have done don’t matter” Loki told him “You humiliated me, made me feel like trash. Like I was an object. What is wrong with you?”

Thor tightened his lips and stayed silent, letting Loki spend his anger.

Slowly, his mind started to catch up to everything and Thor remembered what happened. He remembered the anger, the hate, the feeling betrayal from Balder, he remembered the drinking and the woman.

He even knew why he did it, there was no point in lying to himself.

He was lonely he needed comfort and the only person he took it from was dead. He didn’t even go to the funeral, he didn’t even know if it happened or not.

“Much is wrong with me” Thor said eventually “You shouldn’t try to decipher it”

“There is nothing to decipher” Loki scoffed “You are alone, scared, in pain, Thor. It’s that simple. So am I, so is Balder, your father, half this bloody kingdom, but none of them act like you did last night, that is no excuse”

Thor frowned at that, getting irritated “You don’t know anything about me”

“So?” Loki scoffed

“So don’t judge me” Thor all but snapped

Loki shook his head, looking aside “I am not judging you. I’m trying to tell you that you acted like an irrational fool. Drinking is no way to fix what pain you are in, that is unacceptable.”

Thor snorted and looked aside “You sound like my father”

“Good” Loki crossed his arms “At least one of us does”

That had Thor get angrier.

“You have no right to judge my life” Thor snapped “You don’t even know what happened to me!”

“Who does?” Loki glared back at him “You close it all up and explode on everyone who wants to help! You tell no one, no one knows anything other than the fact that you lash out whenever they try to reason!”

“What I do is my concern!” Thor leaned forward just a little “No one else’s!”

“It is when they get hurt because of you” Loki told him “Wake up, Thor! You’ve pushed everyone away! They don’t want to talk to you or come to you! They don’t want to be near you because you abandon them or yell at them! How long before they stop doing that? Or is it that fear that makes you push them away before they do it to you?”

It seemed to be what made Thor lash out.

Loki choked when Thor’s hand grabbed his throat, his own coming to grab his wrist.

“You go too far” Thor gave him a warning squeeze and Loki gasped “You are neither friend nor foe. You are here for one thing and one thing only, Loki, then we part our ways. Don’t make me hurt you”

Loki slit his eyes at him and managed to choke out a response.

“You prove my point very well” he rasped

For a moment, Thor was tempted to squeeze harder, then Loki’s words hit his brain. He saw Loki realize it, too and smile, despite the fact that he was being choked.

“See?” Loki asked “it seems I hit a nerve”

He didn’t even seem offended, Thor released him and Loki only rubbed his throat, coughing a little. It made Thor look at his hands, then at Loki.

“I’m…”

Loki waved it aside “I agitated you. Sometimes to prove a point you need to take such measures. You can make it up to me later”

Thor stared at him, frowning. He’d done it on purpose. Loki had made him do this deliberately and that made him feel embarrassed.

“Why?” Thor rasped

“Because last night” Loki told him, rubbing his throat “You looked ready to kill your brother rather than talk to him. Then, when you could not, I was caught in the middle, treated as though I was nothing and I will not tolerate it”

Thor grit his jaw “That was not about you”

“And yet I was caught in it” Loki simpered “How nice. Control your temper, Thor, I will not be treated like that again, angry or not. Understand?”

Thor held his tongue, despite what he wanted to say, but he nodded.

“Good” Loki said, then sighed “Now you might find reason to get angry at me today but I hope you will rethink it”

“Why?” Thor asked suspiciously “what did you do?”

“Rumors of your consort attacking your most loyal friend are out and about, my prince” Loki smiled at him “I think you refer to it as ‘damage control’?”

Thor gave him a dry glare

“They want some sort of punishment for me and I am sure you will find a way to keep that from happening” Loki stood, heading to where Thor kept his decanter “After all, we are to go to Jotunhiem, how will I do that when I am confined to these rooms?”

“Indeed” Thor stood as well “I am sure you will think of something”

Loki smiled at him and walked off, making Thor shake his head as he indulged himself on Thor’s best wine.

***

Loki was in his taken chambers that evening when a knock sounded on the door.

Ruben, who was sleeping on the bed, curled up and happy with his luxury, looked up and let out a fat, disappointed meow when the door opened and Thor walked in.

He had a small box in his hands and looked – for the lack of another word – a little shy.

Loki, who was putting out his given clothes, turned to him, brow raised. He didn’t know what to expect with Thor, the man was unpredictable, so he waited for him to say something.

And it seemed that the prince found it hard to.

“I – uh – thought” Thor cleared his throat “thought about what you said, about you getting caught in the middle.”

Loki waited for more but when Thor said nothing else, he raised a brow “That’s it? You came here to tell me what you thought about?”

“No” Thor hissed at him, disapproving of his tone “I just came to apologize for it, I … you were right. I acted like a fool and I shouldn’t let my temper control me, I’m sorry”

Loki raised his brows and crossed his arms over his chest “And this box is to smash into your head next time you act idiotically?”

Thor laughed softly and shook his head “No, this is something else”

He walked over and opened it, showing Loki what was inside. It stopped Loki’s heart when he saw a key within, runes upon it. Without looking, he knew his bracers would open with them.

“What are you doing?” Loki demanded sharply

“I had been thinking about this for a while” Thor walked over “my consort shouldn’t be bound. People were talking about you today in the Council and they mentioned that you should have some sort of contraption to ensure you didn’t harm anyone. These bracers came to mind then and I realized that … even if you were not my consort, having something so close to you taken away mustn’t be nice”

“Like Mjolnir” Loki said, watching Thor come to stand right before him.

“Aye” Thor laughed, self deriding, that sound “Just like that”

He pulled the key out and tossed the box aside. It landed close to Ruben, who hissed at it, then glared at Thor, where he was completely ignored.

“Give me your wrist” Thor asked, extending a hand.

Loki hesitated for a second only, but slowly held his hand up, letting Thor take his wrist. The moment his hand connected with the runes, they glowed, indication of the fact that Thor had the power to free him.

Thor put the key in the keyhole and Loki’s breathing hitched.

A second later, the bracer came off. In response to it, the other one fell too, but Thor didn’t have the chance to see it.

Because Loki’s eyes rolled back in his head and he let out a soft groan before he fell upon Thor. Thor gasped and caught him, his face pale in horror.

“Loki!” Thor looked down at him, worried “Loki?”

Loki frowned and nodded, raising a hand “I’m alright”

Relief soared through Thor and he reached down to pick him up proper and carry him to the bed. His heart still pounded in his chest and he shooed Ruben off before setting Loki on the covers.

“Loki” Thor softly brushed his hair back “Are you alive?”

“Head rush” Loki said breathlessly “Just … get me some water, I will be fine”

“Gods, you ass” Thor huffed “What was that?”

“Energy” Loki opened his eyes “You look scared”

Thor snorted “Please, I wouldn’t be”

“Yes you do, it looks like your favourite pet got hurt”

“I don’t keep pets” Thor looked at Ruben, who went to curl beside Loki “Especially demons like him”

Ruben only ignored him and started to lick his paw and Thor, eager to mess with him, reached over and flicked his head. Ruben meowed angrily and swatted at him, causing Thor to chuckle.

Loki, who was trapped between Thor and his huge arm, cleared his throat, feeling his face heat up at the close confines.

“Water?” he prompted, unable to look at Thor.

They looked very intimate.

“Ah, of course” Thor leaned back and off, going to get him the water he asked for.

Loki sat up, slowly, because the world threatened to tilt, then smiled at Thor, taking the water from him. He nodded in thanks, then watched as Thor sat by his feet, leaning on one hand.

He was watching Loki and it made the Jotun feel a little self-conscious. When he finished drinking, he put it aside and looked to his false fiancé.

“What?” Loki asked

“Kiss me”

A thrill went through Loki, then he went cold.

“What?” Loki asked “Why?”

Thor reached over and picked his hand up, tightening his grip when Loki tried pulling back. He brought it to his lips and tilted his head as he kissed it, looking at something at the window.

Loki followed his line of vision and saw a raven sitting at his balcony, its head cocked to the side.

Loki knew it was one of Odin’s and then realized that this had been an act. For Odin.

For some reason, it left an unplanned, unpleasant feeling in his gut and he said nothing as Thor pulled him over by his hand.

Loki allowed it and looked into Thor’s eyes as the man kissed him, placing a hand behind his head. His fingers ran through Loki’s hair and he pressed closer.

Loki felt his tongue touch his tightly closed lips and pulled back, but Thor didn’t let him, he insisted. Feeling his face heat up further, Loki parted his lips and let out a soft gasp as Thor slipped his tongue in.

A deep rumble escaped Thor’s lips as he slot their mouths closer together, his eyes going to the window.

The raven was gone, possibly left when Thor first kissed him, but he didn’t stop.

There was an energy around Loki that made him continue, something about him thrummed over Thor, prickling his skin like electricity.

Loki seemed just as lost but held on to the bed rather than him, so Thor slowly began to push him back. He felt Loki’s surprised gasp against his lips, he felt his hands come to grip his shoulders as he pressed him down on the bed.

Intoxicating

The kiss was intoxicating and Thor moaned very softly, kissing him deeper, his hands holding on to Loki’s head, fingers in his hair.

In response, he felt Loki’s nails dig into his arms, felt his body press against him from beneath and he set his weight on him slowly.

Thor broke off the kiss, tilting Loki’s head aside and rubbing his lips down his neck, kissing and biting the skin there softly.

His heart pounded in his chest and he longed to do more.

Loki tipped his head back, dragging his feet on the bed as Thor continued. His breath was coming out in soft, short pants, driving Thor on until the man started to mark Loki with his tongue, teeth and lips.

When Loki felt that, he tensed, his eyes opening. His eyes went to the window and the bird no longer sat there, so his hands moved to push Thor.

“Off” he whispered “It’s gone”

It took Thor a second to understand him, and he blinked a few times before he looked at Loki, a little dazed.

His lips were slightly wet, his face flushed, his hair falling into his eyes and Loki felt his heart skip a beat because he looked _beautiful_.

“Uh…” Loki looked aside, started to fix his clothes “We … we should probably g-get ready. We have dinner with your family…”

Thor smirked, seeing how flustered Loki looked and reached over to gently cup his cheek.

It reminded him of a hare, the way Loki froze and Thor smiled wider.

“You didn’t tense this time” Thor commended “I liked that”

“I … “ Loki broke off “You told me not to”

“I’m glad” Thor smirked.

He pat Loki’s cheek and stood, heading to the door.

“Dinner will be set soon,” he called over his shoulder “wear green. It brings out your eyes”

Loki swallowed heavily and nodded, reaching up to touch his blushing cheeks.

He didn’t know what happened or why his heart was pounding so much. But he knew one thing, he knew that when they kissed this time, something was different.

His body had thrummed all over as Thor kissed him and it was hard to stop. It was like electricity pricked his skin, making it hard to stop kissing Thor.

Ruben looked at him and gave him a highly judgemental meow.

Loki looked at him, still a little stunned and nodded.

“You can say that again”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Golikethatcat, *points up at questionable chapter* all for you


	10. Affliction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki watched him walk away, then sighed and followed.  
> And the entire time he told himself that his knees were shaking because he ran in the rain.  
> No other reason.
> 
> OR
> 
> Bestla knows more than she lets on

_He had to get him._

_He had to get him back and he had to get him now. The green eyed little demon was too far away, he was within his reach but he wasn’t, he was with Thor but he wasn’t._

_He knew the truth, he made it happen._

_And he wanted him back._

_Letting him go to Thor, giving him away, leaving him there was a mistake. He wanted him back, in his arms, in his bed!_

_Never_

_Never had he felt like this about any of his other children – his wares._

_But his absence had left a hole inside his chest._

_Taneleer Tivan wanted him back and he would do anything he had to, go to whatever lengths were needed. He wanted Loki, his eyes, his angry face, he wanted him to be in pain, he wanted him to cry._

_Taneleer knew he was twisted, but seeing Loki’s face stained with tears, feeling his hands push as him as he begged him to stop, feeling that tight heat around him, was the only thing he wanted._

_He wanted it, wanted him under him, he wanted to own him! He was his desire now, the only thing he wanted._

_And whether Loki liked it or not, he was going to have him._

***

Loki ended up wearing green.

He was distracted ever since Thor left and was slow and careless with his work. His magic returned, he did try a few illusions, starting with an illusion of Ruben right beside the cat and it offended said furry royalty. Loki smirked as the cat hissed and growled at the conjured image, then prowled the room, looking for it when Loki made it vanish.

It was a nice feeling, getting it back and Loki used it, testing it out whenever he thought of Thor, how he kissed him and how Loki bordered on – but never admitting to – liking it.

He ended up with twenty nine illusions as he prepared for dinner, settling for a green tunic and dark trousers. There wasn’t much that could be done about his appearance, but then Thor didn’t seem to mind his plain looks, so there was nothing Loki thought of too much.

Loki sighed as he adjusted the mirror and fixed his hair, combing it back. He even applied a perfume, placed there for him, on his neck and put on sleek slippers.

Dinner with the family wasn’t a formal affair, after all.

He saw Ruben search under the dresser as he walked past and whistled to get his attention. Of course, Loki was ignored and he rolled his eyes at his pet and walked out into the living area to wait for Thor.

Their world seemed to have become miraculously synchronized because the moment Loki stepped out, Thor did so, too, fastening the button the cuff of his deep grey tunic.

“Olivier!” he called, then blinked when he saw Loki “Ah, sorry, didn’t mean to yell”

Loki smirked at him, then he felt his heart start to beat a little bit faster when Thor’s eyes roved from his face down his form, taking everything in.

“Very elegant” Thor said “But get rid of the slippers, wear your house shoes, they are a tad bit more acceptable”

“House shoes?” Loki frowned

Thor snorted “The brown ones you barely look at. I believe you called them Old Man Shoes”

Loki made a face at them “I would never wear those, they suck the life out of me”

“They would but you haven’t even touched them” Thor chuckled “Go, put those on, no one wants to see slippers at the dining table”

Loki made a face and looked at his feet “I like these. They are comfortable”

“And thus, unacceptable” Thor smirked, then extended his own, properly attired foot “This is not a comfortable shoe, but I wear it because my hairy toes are covered”

A bark of laughter escaped Loki and he shook his head, a hand over his lips. The very lips Thor had been kissing a while ago.

“That is a good argument” Loki smiled, turning around “Let me wear those life sucking shoes”

Thor chuckled and watched him leave, fixing his cuff then looking for Olivier.

He found the Valet in the kitchenette, cooking for himself.

“Olivier,” Thor called “I can’t find my black vest. Do you know where it is?”

Olivier looked at him and thought for a few moments “I believe it is in the wash. Do you want me to check?”

“Nay,” Thor placated him “Have your dinner, I can very easily do without”

“Thank you, my lord” Olivier smiled

Thor bowed his head and turned back to wait for Loki, smiling when he saw him walk out, stomping and clopping in his old man shoes.

“Ah, there is the picture of elegance” Thor complimented, walking over “Now all we need is a smile on those lips and we are done”

Loki felt his cheeks heat up, especially when Thor came to stand right before him. He reached up and Loki began to feel a thrill run though his system, when Thor tugged on his hair.

“I like that you left it open” Thor said “It adds to your allure.”

His green eyes looked at Thor’s face a moment before Loki looked aside, blushing harder.

It made Thor smile so he stepped back and gestured to the door.

“Shall we?”

“Indeed” Loki nodded, then led the way out, letting Thor take his hand once they were outside.

They might be false in their relationship but Loki liked this part, he discovered.

It was so different than the last time Loki was with someone like this.

As they made their way down the hall, Loki tugged on Thor’s hand “I thought we were never to leave the room”

Thor sighed “We weren’t, Father said it in anger but he still expected to be obeyed.”

“But…?” Loki prompted when Thor trailed off

“Then I gallivanted through the realms to rescue my horse and Father thought it to be no big problem for me to attend a dinner with the family” Thor told him

Loki snorted “I doubt he thinks of me as family. He probably wanted it to be the four of you”

Thor scoffed “He’s going senile if he doesn’t think of you as family or thinks that I will leave you behind”

“Truly?” Loki asked before could stop himself, feeling a sort of warmth settle in his chest because of it.

“Of course” Thor frowned at him, chuckling “We are pretending to be wed, Loki, I have to stand up to you”

And that pretty much deflated Loki’s warmth “Oh”

He felt embarrassment color his cheeks as they walked onwards and soon came to the dining room doors. Thor gave Loki’s hand a squeeze, knowing that he was nervous, then walked in.

The dining room was, as expected, exquisite. Loki hadn’t been here before and the only huge dining room he’d ever been in was Taneleer’s. And that was a reflection of the monster the man had been.

This was nothing like it

The walls shimmered with gold wall paper, embossed with emblems that Asgard was known for. In the middle of the ceiling was a stunning chandelier, bathing the room in dim light but illuminating it just the same. It was right above the huge dining table, clearly expensive and polished to the darkest brown. It was huge and there was ample space around it and across, where huge ceiling to floor double door windows stood, opened a little to let in fresh air and cool the room. The centre of the table was covered by a beautiful gold and rust runner, amber embroidery over it and upon it where the cloches that held their dinner. The place was set for seven, six on both sides and one at the head. The flatware looked heavy, expensive and complicated. There were three spoons and three forks on either side, making Loki huff.

The sound made Thor turn and he raised a brow at him “Nervous?”

“Hardly” Loki let his hand go to run through his hair “It takes more than that for me to be nervous. I was just admiring the splendour of the table, is all”

It made the prince jeer “You mean the pretentiousness.”

“Nay, the splendour” Loki looked at him “It’s beautiful. I have served on ballrooms and dining rooms, never allowed to touch. I always liked looking at them and setting them”

“You were a server?” Thor asked, walking over and circling the table “When?”

“As a teen” Loki walked over, running his fingertip over the lid of a cloche clean enough to be a mirror “I have done many things to make ends meet, my lord, I was not always a Ware”

“Ware?” Thor frowned

Loki looked up at him and blinked “Oh. Right, you don’t know. That’s what – what _he_ called us. His Children or his Wares. It was humiliating”

The furrow remained on his brow and Thor sighed “Loki, you know I didn’t commission you”

“I know” Loki assured him, moving to another cloche “It just frightens me that whoever did is still out there, possibly still watching, hoping to throw me back to him to train”

“I won’t let that happen” Thor said quickly

“Oh?” Loki smiled, not meanly, just pessimistically “How? I will be in Jotunhiem, he can take me whenever he wants. No one will know, no one other than Mother cared”

“That’s not true” Thor’s voice was soft “You must have friends, extended family…”

He broke off when Loki shook his head sadly, a heart breaking sort of smile on his lips.

“No one?” Thor asked “What of the people you helped?”

“They smile and greet me, nothing more” Loki told him “No one has time for a local hero. They would rather sing praises of the mighty Thor or great King Odin or the Lord Njord of the Vanir. The novelty wears off, my prince”

That was tragic, Thor sighed, more so since he knew nothing about Loki.

He should probably change that.

“That’s …”Thor cleared his throat “I didn’t think it was like that, Loki”

Loki chuckled, bitter and cold “It’s a land of frozen air, did you think the people were warm, Thor?”

Thor’s gaze went to the table and Loki’s smile turned victorious.

“Not everyone is nice enough to let a hungry Jotun into their home as you did” Loki told him “But then again, you do a lot others don’t do”

“Like what?” Thor looked at him, a smirk on his lips “Kissing you senseless?”

Loki felt his mouth fall open “Kissing me senseless? Are you mad? When did that happen?”

“Tonight” Thor crossed his arms over the back of a chair “In your room”

“I was …” Loki fumbled “The raven was watching”

“Aye, watching you enjoy the kisses” Thor teased

“It’s called acting” Loki countered

“You’re not that good an actor” Thor winked at him and went to the balcony doors

“I’m good enough to make you believe I liked them” Loki tossed at him.

He turned back to the table and reached over to peek under a cloche when he felt the warm, hard body behind his.

Loki gasped and spun around, his eyes going wide when he saw Thor looming over him, his muscled body pressing against his, trapping him against the chair. His heart lurched within his chest and he swallowed heavily.

“What are you doing?” Loki panted softly, his hands coming up to put distance between them.

But Thor didn’t move and his own, large hands rested over Loki’s waist, spread enough to touch his ribs and Loki gasped softly when Thor yanked him close and looked into his eyes. His own blue ones are glowing, it seems, and focused on Loki’s lips.

“Thor, you…”

He broke off when Thor’s lips landed on his own midsentence and his eyes widened when his tongue slipped easily into his mouth. He inhaled sharply and Thor opened his mouth further, his soft, warm, plump lips pulled around Loki’s lower one once his tongue retracted. Then he continued, nipping at Loki’s lips, pushing his tongue into his mouth again until Loki’s eyes closed.

It delighted Thor and he watched, up close, as Loki’s lashes fanned over his high cheekbones, resting there, softly. Thor opened his mouth, Loki followed, both of them panting softy, Loki’s head bobbing softly in response to the way Thor kissed him. His brow furrowed, Loki’s hands slowly reached up to rest against Thor, hesitant but wanting to touch him. His clothes were warmed because of the heat of his skin and it made Loki let out a pleased little noise against Thor’s lips.

Thor’s hands slipped up his sides, stopping over his back to mould them both together as they kissed, Thor deepening it further until Loki stumbled. But Thor was ready, he held him tightly, pushing him back enough to shove the chair aside and set Loki on the table. Thor boldly stepped between his thighs, starting to kiss down Loki’s neck, licking and nipping the long expanse of his throat as Loki keened softly, his own hand tangling in Thor’s hair, the other set upon the table.

He lowered the neck of Loki’s tunic when Loki’s head fell back and exposed his shoulder, rubbing his lips, letting his tongue trace over the bone and muscle enough to make Loki hiss in pleasure.

Thor watched Loki’s hand crumple the runner, shift the dishes around and imagined himself taking Loki on the table, his back arched, hands pulling the cutlery, the plates, the dishes down, throwing them on the floor…

“Ahem”

It was like they were doused with cold water and Thor pulled away quickly, turning around and shielding Loki as he wiped his swollen red lips and faced Odin, Bestla, Balder and Frigga.

Damned voyeurs had all come in together!

Behind him, Loki slid off the table, panting, and hid behind Thor, his trembling hands trying to cool his cheeks.

“I’m not eating on that table anymore” Bestla announced

Odin looked at her and huffed “You’ve seen worse”

“And done worse” Bestla beamed at him.

Frigga coughed to hide her giggle and Balder turned to look at the Svaildfari, the man he was holding just out of sight.

It wasn’t someone Thor longed to see but he conceded and waited for them to enter and seat themselves, muttering about how inappropriate he was.

Thor hadn’t looked at Loki, and he didn’t until he pulled his chair out. Then their eyes had met and Loki’s fingers twitched with the memory of Thor’s hair between them. His face flushed and he made Thor smirk when he looked away.

Thor sat next to him and leaned over to kiss his cheek “Senseless, aye?”

Loki didn’t say a word, but his heart was beating loudly within his chest and his mind was back to that kiss.

That wasn’t for anyone’s benefit.

That was for Loki.

And he’d loved it.

***

Svadilfari was seated opposite Loki.

And he was glaring. There was hate in those eyes and Loki tried to avoid looking at him, but that stare. He felt it right at his throat, as though Svadilfari was trying to slit it open. He did keep his gaze to the food and to the people he talked to but Svadilfari kept his gaze on him most of the time.

“Love, pass me the peas, aye?” Thor whispered in his ear, startling him.

His reaction was not lost on Thor and he frowned, then looked at Svadilfari, who was suddenly too focused on his meal and listening to Balder.

It made Thor narrow his eyes and he looked at Loki, raising a brow in question. When Loki shook his head and went back to his dinner, Thor let it go. But it was far from over, both men knew that.

“Loki”

The Jotun looked up and smiled when Bestla called him “Aye, my Queen?”

“We know nothing about you, dear” she said “Especially since Thor keeps you all to himself. Do tell us a little”

“Aye” Svadilfari said “Do tell us, we are intrigued”

Loki hesitated, not wanting to reveal anything about himself to Svadilfari or, to some degree, Odin but he was put on the spot.

“Uh, there is not much to tell, I am afraid” Loki smiled “Just boring old me”

“How about you tell us how you met Thor?” Frigga tried helpfully.

“Ah yes, wonderful story, that one” Thor smiled at him, his eyes warm

He was going to support Loki in this, the Jotun was suddenly sure of it.

“Of course” Loki cleared his throat and his mind worked as he played with his food to get a little time “It was basically casual, much to the disappointment of many a romantic poet”

Bestla smirked and Svaildfari rolled his eyes. Balder listened, hoping he could help out a little, as a way to make up for his behaviour.

“We met when I was buying something in Vanahiem” Loki said “I usually took a trip there when I could afford it and the prince, I mean Thor, was there, too”

A bright smile graced Thor’s lips at that and he realized Loki had just explained to them the reasons for going to the Vanir.

Clever little brat!

Thor should kiss him more often.

“Thor in a market?” Bestla raised her brows “I would pay good money to see Thor move about to do peasant chores”

Odin, who had tried to remain casual, held back a laugh, looking down at his plate and smiling at what Bestla said.

Thor gave him a dry glare “I can hear you snickering, Father”

“Hush, let him continue” Bestla snapped “Go on, Loki”

“He went to this blacksmith, I think he was getting a blade?” Loki frowned and looked to Thor, the complete picture of innocent confusion.

“Dagger” Thor supplied “The blue ones you seem to be fond of”

His tone was mildly teasing and Loki felt his face heat up.

“Aye, daggers” Loki turned to move his food about a little “Anyway, we crossed each other and he smiled at me, which I hated”

“Then later I kissed him, which he loved” Thor added

Loki smacked his arm and it made Balder smirk, just a little. Even if it was fake, Thor hissed at the hit.

“Bony shite” he rubbed his arm “Gods, it’s like a whip”

“You seem to be very fond of them, you know that” Loki said

Odin choked on his mead and Frigga jumped, staring at him as he punched his chest a few times to get himself back to being a normal, properly breathing King.

Thor inclined his jaw at Loki, a smirk on his lips as he slit his eyes. This one was trouble, for sure.  

Loki pointedly ignored him and went back to telling Bestla his made up tale.

“So we crossed each other and barely glanced, at least I did, at the other and went on our merry way” Loki said “But next morning, Thor was there again, at the markets and because no one in Vanahiem quite look like him, I knew he wasn’t from here”

“Yes, everyone is Vanahiem is a little” Thor raised his hands and vaguely made the shape of a woman in the air before him “Feminine”

“Slender” Loki corrected “So I ended up staring at him for a moment, trying to figure out where he was from and he thought I was trying to … entice him or something”

“Your eyes did glow, my dear” Thor smirked, playing along “But then they do that normally now, I didn’t know that then”

Loki rolled his eyes but he felt a lovely warmth in his chest “Stop interrupting. The story is getting boring”

Thor laughed softly and went back to eat as Loki continued.

“Anyway, he came over and made the lewd assumption that I wanted to bed him” Loki spoke over Thor’s protest “But we quickly realized that wouldn’t happen…”

“Till you discovered he was a prince”

A stillness fell over the table after Odin spoke and Loki stared at him, his face going cold.

“Odin” Bestla growled in warning

“What?” he asked, looking to Loki “It’s not true? Once you discovered who he was, you were eager enough to be with him”

Frigga was shocked, Balder was focused on his food and Svadilfari was delighted.

“Father” Thor’s voice was firm – a warning “Do not”

Odin raised a brow “Why not? This entire thing is so sudden, I can’t help but think about it”

“Majesty, it’s nothing like that” Loki spoke softly, looking at the table “I don’t want to be with him because of … a title”

“But you must admit” Svadilfari said “It’s a great charm. And a big improvement, moving from the bed of the most notorious whore dealer to the future King of Asgard’s bed”

Loki had gone pale, but no one was allowed to speak as Thor surged to his feet, knocking his chair back.

“You go too far!” Thor growled, glaring at Svadilfari “You speak of things you know nothing about!”

Svadilfari merely smiled “Truly? I don’t know?”

The threat hung there, between them, but Thor had one of his own and Balder saw it in his eyes, saw him about to speak. He wanted to do something to diffuse the situation but found himself speechless.

“Thor, calm yourself” Odin ordered

“Who gave him the right to be here?” Thor pointed a finger at Svadilfari “He is not royalty nor connected to the family!”

“I invited him” Bestla told Thor “So sit down, please”

“I will not” Thor hissed, looking at Loki before he took his hand “And till you apologize you won’t see us”

Odin saw him leave and stood “Thor, calm down, forget this, alright, I was merely teasing”

“You were not” Thor, who was leading Loki away, stopped and glared at him “You meant it. You meant what you said, you called him a gold digger. I thought you were going to give him a chance but you are not going to. Despite what you said, you betrayed my trust”

“Thor…” Odin walked after him “Thor, wait”

“Leave me alone” Thor snarled, dragging Loki outside

A few servants startled as they stormed out, Thor all but dragging Loki after him. He heard Odin calling him but he didn’t stop.

He kept on moving till they were out of the hall, past the veranda, crossing the marble to go to the gardens.

Odin followed them till the halls ended, till the skies thundered and till his son slammed the doors shut so hard they opened right back up.

Then he stood and watched, watching Thor walk out, taking Loki with him and leaving him behind.

***

Thunder rumbled up ahead as they walked on and Loki was dragged to wherever Thor wanted him to go. He saw the clouds gather above them with startling swiftness, blackening out the already dark skies and making it near impossible to see, despite the multiple lamps that lit the pathway Thor was following. It was slightly smothering and though Loki had no qualms against dim lights, this was becoming ridiculous.

There was no one here, no one to see the pretence so why Thor stayed angry, he didn’t know. Why he insisted on dragging Loki along, he didn’t know, but he knew that he’d tried pulling his arm away from Thor and the man hadn’t released him, so he followed him silently, until he heard the first, loud clap of thunder. It made him flinch, as did the flash after and Loki finally had enough.

“Thor, stop” he pulled on his arm “This is getting ridiculous”

“Ridiculous?” Thor turned to face him “ _This_ is ridiculous? What about them insulting you and insinuating that you are me for my wealth? That doesn’t sound ridiculous to you?”

Loki was stunned for a second, then laughed and shook his head “Of course it doesn’t bother me, this isn’t even real! We are not real, Thor, why are you so bothered?”

Thor looked at him, breathing heavily and the wind picked up in response. He looked hurt, as though someone was saying something to him rather than Loki.

“Thor” Loki put a hand on his shoulder “Why are you so upset?”

The prince swallowed heavily and looked aside and a few seconds later, raindrops started to fall over them, making Loki blink as Thor’s sadness, his grief came upon them.

“I know it’s not real” Thor told him “I know we won’t ever see each other again, that we have an agreement, but…”

“But what?” Loki prompted as Thor stepped back.

“But when he insulted you like that, I just lost my head” Thor looked at him “I wanted … I wanted to hurl the table over his head, I was so angry”

Loki raised his brows at him but said nothing.

“It’s not…” Thor exhaled “It’s not what you think, alright?”

“And what do I think?” Loki stepped over

“You think it’s because of the kiss, don’t you?” Thor asked

“No” Loki smiled softly “I think it’s because underneath all that masculine exterior, there is a part of you that is a friend of mine. And as a friend you didn’t like seeing me insulted, possibly even feel a little protective over me”

Thor scoffed “You don’t need me to protect you”

“The little part of you doesn’t know that” Loki smiled, touched that Thor was so angry on his behalf.

He watched the prince glare about and sigh as he tried to calm himself and eventually, after a few minutes of silent, Loki extended a hand to him.

 “Come on. Let’s go back”

“I don’t want to go back there” Thor nodded to the palace “He will want to _talk_ ”

“And is that so bad?” Loki asked

Thor made a face “It’s …stupid”

“Ah, an intellectual response, that” Loki chuckled “Very well, we can go elsewhere. But do try and stop the rain, it’s starting to annoy me”

Sighing, Thor looked at the skies and shut his eyes. A second after, Loki yelped as it started pouring around them, but especially over him.

“Thor, no!” Loki tried to duck behind his hands and made a dash to the side “Damn it!”

Thor laughed as Loki ran about, trying to avoid the rain Thor was drenched in entirely. He spread his hands under it, then looked up to see every lamp extinguish and leave them with the rain and darkness. It was beautiful.

Thunder rumbled up ahead and Thor squinted against the hard, pouring rain to see Loki standing, soaking wet, beneath a gazebo, twisting his tunic to get the water out. His hair was plastered to his skull and Thor laughed, walking over.

“Afraid of a little rain, Loki?”

Loki lifted his head and gave him a nasty glare. He looked as though he’s come out of a lake and Thor laughed harder.

“Very funny” Loki snapped “Maybe I should teach you a lesson!”

“Be my guest” Thor spread his arms “You are free with your magic, do your worse”

Loki considered it for a second and his hands twitched.

He inhaled deeply, threw his hair over his shoulder and faced Thor, who looked cocky, standing there, wet and plastered in the rain.

His mind thought about it and slowly, he brought his hands closer, setting the heels of his hands together, spreading his fingers out.

It hummed within him, moving through his body and Loki felt it. His eyes closed as the spell moved from his spine upwards to his shoulders, crawled over his arms, down his wrists to settle between his cradling hands. Then it seeped forward, slipping from between his fingers like silt, to do as he asked.

Thor’s eyes slowly widened when a ball formed before him, created from the water, collected from the rain, it got bigger and bigger, larger than his head, then bigger still till it was his height and the width of a large battle drum.

“Oh no” Thor muttered

It blasted at him the next second and Thor shouted as he was thrown off his feet and into the wet grass, splashing water everywhere.

Loki’s triumphant shout came from somewhere around and then he heard him coming closer to crouch by him.

“Oh dear” Loki pouted, “Did I break you?”

Thor looked at him, then smirked and growled, grabbing Loki around the shoulders and flipping them around till he was on top, looking down at him.

Even in the darkness, with the moon barely giving them light past the clouds, he could see Loki, laying there, his eyes stunned, his expression vulnerable.

Thor sat astride his lap and smiled down at him, both of them wet, their clothes clinging to them. The wind picked up as Thor gasped as he gazed at Loki and reached over to brush a strand of wet hair off Loki’s cheek. Loki blinked rapidly at the sudden touch, then stopped, looking up at Thor as they sat there, pressed so intimately.

Slowly, the rush of the rain started to fade and water stopped pouring over them.

Droplets still fell from Thor to Loki, but other than that, a stillness, a calm, settled over them as they looked at one another.

Thor licked his lips before he smiled, breaking the strange aura around them “That was a good trick, I will admit”

“Th-Thank you” Loki whispered, then swallowed heavily.

“Trickster” Thor smiled fondly, then sat back “That’s what I will call you now”

Loki looked at the clear skies as Thor got off him and he sat up, running his fingers through his hair as he tried to get his heartbeat down.

What was that!?

Thor shook his head, much like a dog and Loki hissed as he threw water everywhere.

“Brute” Loki stood, his knees just a little wobbly “Have you no manners?”

“Trickster” Thor smiled, then nodded “come, I will take you to a true Asgardian dinner”

Loki frowned “Like this? We are drenched!”

“As is the city” Thor smiled over his shoulder, jogging back to the pathway they had been on “Come on!”

The lamps lit instantly, the fire strong again when Thor stepped on it and headed away from the palace. Loki watched him walk away, then sighed and followed.

And the entire time he told himself that his knees were shaking because he ran in the rain.

No other reason.

Not at all.

***

Within the palace, after their terse dinner was over and Odin was given the most chilling silent treatment by his mother, Balder had excused himself. He hadn’t any appetite left but there was much anger in him, ready to unleash it upon Svadilfari the moment he arrived.

Venting his rage at Balder was one thing, but what he did tonight was uncalled for, despite what happened.

And then smiling, as though it pleased him, no. This was not the man Balder had fallen in love with, this was not someone who he wanted Svadilfari to be.

The second prince was many things, but he was not tolerant of this behaviour, so he waited.

He’d sent his valet to summon Svadilfari to his chambers and he wanted him to know it was urgent. So he waited, not even bothering to change out of his dinner clothes for this.

Usually, Svadilfari saw him in an even more casual – completely undressed – manner but not now. Right now, Balder was angry and there was no way Svadilfari was going to get out of this.

So, when ten minutes later, Svadilfari walked in, Balder surged to his feet and dismissed the valet, then his staff so he was alone with his lover.

And said lover had no remorse about him, he was smiling at Balder, rather proud of himself as the second prince glared at him.

“What?’ Svadilfari eventually asked “What are you angry with me for, he started it!”

“You goaded him into that tantrum” Balder hissed “You baited him and you threatened him, knowing he would out us before we are ready. What is wrong with you?”

Svadilfari chuckled and reached over to stroke his cheek “Always so angry, my love, try to calm down”

Balder smacked his hand away from him “Don’t touch me! You aren’t even listening to what I am saying! How could you be so unfeeling, knowing that Loki isn’t here to marry Thor for real, why make this harder on everyone?”

Svadilfari huffed and turned away from him “Loki.”

Balder frowned as the man headed to the side, going to where his dining table sat, his face one of disgust.

“Disease ridden whore, that he is” he huffed “Found himself a nice place, didn’t he? Right by the future King, ruling more than he deserves”

Slowly, Balder walked to him, his expression confused as he watched Svadilfari throw himself into a chair, his anger evident on his put out features.

“Why do you hate him so much?” Balder asked “He’s done nothing to you and you have hurt him twice now, tonight was the third time. Why?”

Svadilfari breathed deeply for a few seconds, then exhaled angrily and stood, going to where Balder stashed his mead.

“Svadilfari” Balder called firmly, alarm going through him when he didn’t stop “Svadilfari, where are you going?”

The man didn’t answer, he went to the cabinet and pulled it open, taking out the drink he wanted and pouring himself a full glass.

Balder grit his jaw and went after him.

“I was talking to you” Balder grabbed his arm to turn him around.

He gasped loudly when Svadilfari spun around and grabbed his wrist – hard. He had taken his hand, his wrist within his own a hundred times, kissed him a hundred times over this very place but never, never had he held Balder this way and the prince’s eyes widened when Svadilfari squeezed hard enough to hurt.

“If you are going to be a little bitch about it” Svadilfari hissed “Then I will leave”

He shoved Balder back and the prince stared at him, horrified, as Svadilfari finished his drink, tossed the glass on the floor and walked out.

He snapped the door shut behind him, making the prince flinch before he looked at the mess and his throbbing wrist.

It was going to bruise, he could see the small abused parts where it could be purple tomorrow, but he hadn’t the courage to make a single noise.

His heart pounded in his chest and Balder realized he was shaking. He was trembling, like a scared child and it made him feel humiliated.

He couldn’t breathe and all he thought about was going to Thor, unable to tell his father or grandmother, he wanted to tell Thor.

But he couldn’t.

Not after what happened.

And he was unable to because Thor wasn’t even in the palace. True to his worth, he went with Loki to have a sturdy, Asgardian dinner in the heart of the city.

A tavern, open air, with a thick roof, no true walls and benches for seating and used for tables, was known for selling the best roast in all of the royal city. It was often this seller and cook who were called for the magnificent feasts of Asgard, too.

Thor waved to the man and they were given the benches, the prince laughing at the disdain on Loki’s face as he wiped the watery benches down before he sat on them.

“You’re already wet, Loki” Thor chuckled “Why are you bothering?”

Loki made a disgusted sound as Thor just plopped down in the small puddle of water, his clothes still wet. Loki had used magic to dry his own, but Thor seemed to enjoy this state. He might as well do it, it was getting a little hot out tonight, anyway.

Thor raised his hand and held up two fingers as a server made his way to him, making him stop in his tracks as he understood the order and nodded

“Spiced mead!” Thor added as the man head back with their order “Actually bring the mead over now!”

Loki winced at the sheer volume Thor was able to produce, then made a show of rubbing his ear. Thor saw him and chuckled.

“I think I know why you are the god of thunder now” Loki droned

Thor grinned “My magnificent voice?”

“Of course” Loki said, sitting with his hands in his lap “It rivals the best opera singers in all the realms”

Thor scoffed “Rivals. It far out does them, that is for sure”

“Really?” Loki raised his brows “And you know this how?”

“I used to sing, that is how and people loved it” Thor boasted

Blinking in surprise, Loki straightened from his mild slouch “You sing?”

“Used to, aye” Thor nodded at him “at feasts that told of my glory”

At that, Loki gave him a dry look “Ah, no wonder you used to”

Thor raised a brow and smirked “You’re so funny”

“I know, tis a talent” Loki smiled, making a show of throwing his hair over his shoulder.

Thor hadn’t meant to stare, but the movement captured him, the way Loki’s long neck moved, his graceful hands, his thick, mildly wavy hair…

He cleared his throat and looked at the waiter, who was quick to get their flagons.

“Ah, here comes the best spiced mead you will ever taste, Loki” Thor smiled, holding his hands out.

Loki twisted around on his bench to look, then his eyes widened at the sheer side of the flagons.

“Are you sure this isn’t for a group?” he asked warily

Each flagon was larger than his head and almost filled. As Loki watched, the server held out a tray with two tiny glasses, each filled with another drink, darker in color, a little more concentrated, too.

“Of course” Thor reached over and took the glasses with a nod of thanks, then handed one to Loki “drop this in the flagon, then you drink”

It didn’t seem healthy or even smart, so Loki held the glass hesitantly. Thor, however, had no hesitance, he plunked the glass into the flagon, then lifted it and started to gulp it down. He’d tipped his head back and Loki got a long look at his throat working the drink down.

He was suddenly mesmerised by it and couldn’t move even if he wanted. His mouth went dry as he watched Thor down the drink. There was nothing about it that should make Loki feel the way he did, but he sat there, frozen, watching Thor’s hair, his neck, his chest, arm…

“Oh, let me do that for you”

Loki startled when Thor reached over and took the glass from him and dropped it in the flagon before him.

“Have a drink” Thor held it up, smiling as he set his own, half drunk one down.

Loki nodded, inhaled and took the drink, taking a sip. It was tart, too sharp, but Loki took as much as possible, before he started to cough, setting the drink aside as he gasped and gagged behind his hand, his face turning red.

Thor snickered “Easy, Loki. It’s tart”

Loki looked at him, his eyes watering a little as he wiped his reddened lips “I seemed to have discovered”

Thor chuckled and finished his own, watching Loki had placed his own aside.

“You won’t finish?” he asked

“Nay,” Loki croaked “I would rather not choke on this”

He extended it to Thor, who took it with a wink.

“Fond of choking on other things, aye?” he teased.

Loki gaped at the innuendo but Thor was already drinking again. It gave him time to look around in between a few delayed coughs his irritated throat gave.

He cleared his throat a few times before he looked back as Thor, who was licking his lips and looked completely content with two flagons of that thing inside him.

“Do you still have room for food in there?” Loki asked

Thor laughed “Aye, tis the weak who do not have an appetite”

“Or normal men and women” Loki countered “I haven’t seen frost giants eat as much as you do”

“You’ve seen Frost Giants?’ Thor’s eyes widened “I thought they were a myth”

“Tis a term, Thor” Loki smirked “The dwellers up north, in the higher mountains are taller, broader and bigger than those who stay in the warmer areas. They mostly feed on the yak and elks that live there, so they are naturally bigger. They are no giants, per se”

“Huh” Thor smirked “and speaking of, is Thyrm a ‘giant’?”

Loki nodded “He is. He moved to the lower lands because he heard we were more … festive. He’s one of the richest men there”

“I see” Thor nibbled on his lip and took a deep breath before asking “I have been thinking on our plan and I say that we don’t truly have to go into or near the manor. I can just enter Jotunhiem and ask for her to come to me”

Loki hummed at him “And cause your hammer to break through Thrym’s – who is a most influential Jotun –home and fly through the streets, wrecking everything in sight so everyone could see her. It’s truly brilliant Thor, to cause an inter-realm incident”

Thor all but pouted and huffed “There has to be another way”

“Sadly, there isn’t” Loki smiled “You have four more days, his event is possibly in the works as we speak”

Thor grumbled and looked aside “I’ll still be thinking”

“And I will be prepping” Loki smiled.

They went silent after, both of them lost in their own thoughts, till their food arrived. Thor was distracted instantly and Loki watched their dinner with morbid fascination.

It was huge!

It was an entire leg of beef, right before him, sitting over half the bench. There were a few roasted vegetables with it and Loki’s expression was a little horrified as the man poured a thick, juicy looking gravy over their meals, handed them a fork and knife each, then departed.

The aroma was fabulous, no doubt, but there was no way Loki would be able to eat all this.

Thor laughed at his expression and picked up his knife, jamming it into the thick meat and felt his mouth water at the food.

“Loki, don’t fret” he consoled “This will get meat on your bones, you look deficient!”

“You mean normal?” Loki said, picking up his utensils “How in the norns am I to finish this?”

“Trust me, you can” Thor told him, carving out a piece for himself.

If Loki was terrorised by Thor’s ability to drink before, he no longer found that scary. Thor dug into the meat like a bear, eating big bites, the huge portion starting to look edible before Loki’s eyes.

His own was only minutely dented in comparison to Thor’s, but as delicious as it was, Loki wouldn’t be able to finish it.

Flavour burst over his tongue with every bite and Loki enjoyed the succulent meat immensely. The juiciness and softness were consistent and the spices made it all worth it. Despite his best efforts, he had to wipe his chin and mouth as the juices tended to overflow, so in the end Loki opted to pick at it with his fingers and lick them clean after.

Something he missed Thor watching.

It was an experience, for sure.

They ate in silence, mostly asking each other random dinner related questions as they ate. This was the worst in terms of manners, but the best in terms of flavour and Loki picked half the roast clean to the bone before he was done, letting out a soft burp behind his hand.

“Norns, I can’t breathe”

Thor, who was done with his was eyeing Loki’s and it made Loki stare.

“Really?” he asked

Thor looked at him his eyes big and round, not wanting to ask but feeling the urge to.

“Fine, here”

Loki pushed it to him and Thor beamed, setting his empty platter on the ground and finishing off Loki’s.  

The Jotun watched him for a few seconds, then looked at his hands.

“Where do I wash up after the carnage?”

Thor snickered and swallowed before speaking – something Loki commended “Behind that screen”

Loki looked and stood, walking across the eatery and feeling as though he had swallowed an entire watermelon!

The server went to Thor with a few napkins and Loki went to the washroom. There were two and they were very clean so Loki went into one, locking the door behind him.

He washed his hands and face, because he’d eaten like a beast, and looked at the mirror to see if there was anything left on his face. When he was satisfied, he straightened and tore off a paper towel from beside him, wiping his face down.

“Loki”

Loki raised his eyes and paled when he saw himself in the mirror, and right beside him, stood Taneleer.

He was the same, his colourless eyes watched Loki, his thin lips smiling and his extravagant clothes glittered as he watched Loki, watched his face, his eyes.

“You’re _mine_!” Taneleer lashed out to grab him.

Loki gasped, spinning around to face him, to fight him, to hit him, but there was no one there. No one.

His heart pounding in his chest, his blood running cold, Loki looked at the mirror and saw no one, nothing other than his own, scared face. His chest moved up and down rapidly and he looked around, soft pants escaping his pale lips.

Looking down, he found his hands shaking again and Loki held himself, hiding them beneath his arms as he tried to calm down.

But he couldn’t.

He couldn’t calm down for the life of him.

***

The knock startled him and Loki looked up, his eyes slightly red rimmed and swollen.

He’d been crying, very softly, he didn’t even care if anyone saw.

“Loki?” Thor called “I’m coming in, I have the key”

Loki didn’t reply, didn’t even know why Thor was coming in but he let him.

The door opened and he heard the sharp intake of breath that came from Thor finding him like this.

True, he was a horrid sight.

Loki was on the floor, sitting with his back against the wall, the mirror shattered, thick drops of dark red blood streaking the sink, the counter, the walls, the floor, Loki’s clothes, his face…

“By the Nine…” Thor breathed, walking over “Loki, what the hell happened?”

He saw Loki’s bloodied, cut hands and paled further.

“Damn it all, I am taking you home” Thor said

He didn’t even ask Loki, he simply slid his arms under his knees and behind his back to lift him up. He carried him like he weighed nothing and Loki barely saw the servers, the cooks and a few customers that gaped and asked questions.

“I will pay for everything” Thor told them “Meet me tomorrow, I will fix this, aye, keep this to yourselves, please”

Loki didn’t hear their response, he didn’t care.

“Loki, what did you do to yourself?” Thor whispered as he walked away, carrying him in his arms.

There was no response from Loki, he was ashamed, he was alone, he wanted to cry.

His body trembled as though he was freezing and Thor was quick to get them a small carriage to take them to the palace. The driver just asked where they were headed and Thor told him the address of one of his friend’s homes.

He wasn’t going to enter, but he wasn’t letting the driver take them to the palace and risk recognizing them. So far, he was tired and drunk enough to not notice.

The carriage didn’t smell very good, but Thor sat in and pulled Loki tighter into his lap.

Once it moved and they had privacy, he looked at the Jotun, cupping his face with his hand.

“Loki” he tried to get through to him, giving him a shake “Loki, look at me”

The man didn’t and Thor tried not to let the fear claw at him. He looked, instead, to his bleeding hands and cussed before he decided to at least stem the bleeding.

He balanced Loki in his arms and tore the sleeve off his green tunic, uncaring if Loki whimpered. He tore it into two and then wrapped them around Loki’s hands.

The fact that Loki didn’t even flinch made Thor worry and wish they would reach the damned address already.

It took twenty minutes and for Thor, it was torment because Loki had closed his eyes, even though he wasn’t asleep. Thor prayed the Jotun was fine as he got off, paid the man and made his way to the palace using the backstreets.

He reached it quickly enough and entered through the gate that brought their foods and supplies on a daily basis. The few guards around rushed to help him and Thor told them to fetch Eir to his chambers and to be discreet about it.

The sight of their prince, stained with blood was enough to have them running and Thor jogged to his rooms, getting their using empty hallways at this time of night.

Loki was just a weight against him and he burst into his room, scaring Olivier, who was dozing.

The valet gasped in horror.

“What happened!?” Olivier shot up, his red hair messed up, running to get Thor’s first aid kit from the storage.

“I don’t know” Thor panted, setting Loki on the dining table “We went for dinner and I found him in the bathroom. It was destroyed and he isn’t speaking”

Loki just sat on the table, looking at his shaking, bloody hands.

“Loki? Loki, look at me” Thor tried again, his voice rough with panic.

When Loki didn’t move, Thor growled and jolted him grabbing his arms and shaking him once, his voice loud.

“ _Look at me_!”

That made Loki snap out of it and he stared at Thor, his eyes wide. His hands went to Thor’s wrists as he held him and he stared at him, his eyes watery.

“I – I w-want to see my mother” Loki whispered “Please, I need her, Thor, I need her”

Thor’s expression became pained and slowly, he pulled Loki into his arms, holding him tight. He cradled his head and tried to soothe him.

“Ssh” Thor cooed, holding him as Loki continued to plead “We’ll find her, we will find her, alright? You just need to calm down”

Loki was trembling “I don’t know where she is, please, I need her, I need her”

“Alright, alright” Thor whispered, “I’ll find her. But you have to let me help you first, aye? Look at your hands”

Said hands slowly came up to rest gingerly against Thor’s back and Olivier returned.

“Majesty, let me” he said softly.

Thor slowly, gently, removed himself from Loki’s grip and stood beside him as Olivier slowly undid Loki’s makeshift bandages.

 Silence fell as Olivier dabbed at his wounds and Thor pet Loki’s hair, rubbed his back to keep him calm. Loki was silent, he hissed when it stung, but that was it.

The door opened slowly and they looked up to see Eir walk in, Bestla right behind her.

“What happened?” the Elder Queen demanded “Who hurt him?”

“No one” Thor told her grimly “We went to dinner and he went to wash up after we finished. He stayed in the bathroom for an hour and when I opened it, I found him sitting amid broken glass, with his hands cut open. He isn’t telling me what happened and he wants his mother”

Bestla sighed “I will send word out to Sif to hurry”

“Aye, if she hasn’t found her then I will look for her myself” Thor told his grandmother

“My lord” Eir looked at Thor “He needs stiches for these. We have to take him to the healers”

Thor’s lips pressed together in pain at the thought of Loki going through this and he exhaled. He squeezed Loki’s shoulder in reassurance and looked at him.

“Can you walk?”

Loki, who was calm and starting to feel embarrassed, nodded “I’ll go”

“I’ll come with you” Thor said instantly

“It’s alright” Loki whispered, getting off the table “Stay with your grandmother, it’s fine”

Thor clearly didn’t like it, but he let him go, nodding to Olivier to go with him and watching them leave. Once gone, he looked at Bestla.

“We need to get his mother back” she said

“Aye” Thor sighed, sitting in a chair and placing a hand over his face

He felt Bestla sit on the one next to him and heard her exhaled.

“Thor, what happened at dinner…”

“I don’t wish to discuss it” Thor said without looking at her

“But, darling, your father…”

“I have had a very tiring few hours” Thor told her “I am in a bad mood, I am worried and I cannot give a proper, calm answer until tomorrow. Please let it go for now”

Bestla clearly wanted to say more, but she listened to him and silence once more dominated the room.

A loud meow broke through ten minutes into it and parted the fingers he had over his eyes, spotting Ruben sitting right there, on the table, where he didn’t like him to be.

“I hate you” he groaned

Ruben, undeterred, walked over and rubbed himself against Thor’s shoulder, purring loudly.

Bestla smiled “Seems he doesn’t care if you like him or not”

“He’s so ugly” Thor said, grabbing Ruben by the scruff and picking him up.

The big eyed monster stopped purring and curled his legs to his belly, watching Thor before another flat meow left his lips.

“Look at that fang” Thor poked Ruben on the nose, making him flinch “Demon”

He set the cat on the floor, then yelped a moment later when it jumped into his lap.

“No, off!” Thor pulled his hands back, trying to avoid him “Shoo!”

But Ruben didn’t listen and he curled up to sit right there, making Bestla smile.

“He’s sweet” she cooed

“Not when he sleeps in my bed” Thor complained, jolting the cat into moving but huffing in defeat when he didn’t “He doesn’t want to get off”

“You don’t really want him to” Bestla smiled “He’s like Loki, settling in your heart despite your best efforts”

“Best efforts?” Thor laughed “When have I ever resisted placing Loki in my heart?”

“You are right now” Bestla smiled

Thor frowned, then Bestla gave him a knowing glance and his eyes widened. She saw the panic in them and raised a hand.

“Relax, breathe” she smiled “I have known since the beginning”

“H-How?’ Thor asked

Bestla smiled “You think you would buy a person and I wouldn’t be curious? I have my ways”

“You – You won’t tell Father, will you?” Thor breathed

Bestla scoffed “Please, I’m his mother, I don’t have to tell him a single thing I don’t want to”

“W-Why?” Thor asked softly

“Because I know you are in pain from losing her” she said softly, smiling sadly when he tensed “Thor, my darling, why didn’t you tell anyone?”

The urge to close up was so strong, he wanted to get angry, he did feel angry, but Loki’s words came back to him and he looked away, breathing deeply.

“I didn’t …” Thor broke off “I didn’t want anyone to know”

“Why?” Bestla reached over and held his hand in hers.

Thor looked at it, looked at the way she cradled his large hand between her smaller ones and he sighed.

“It was my pain” Thor said “And I was doing something many thought wrong”

“Being with a married woman?” she smiled “My love, you cannot think we would ever demean you or what you care about”

“Father did” Thor was quick to change the subject.

He’d talked enough about her, he wasn’t willing to talk more.

“He called Loki a gold digger, after my wealth” Thor pulled his hand back and ran it through his hair “He would have condemned my attachment with her”

It didn’t escape Bestla, the way he changed the subject and the way he closed up about it. It was what he did, his defence, engrained within him so deeply he couldn’t let it go.

So, for now, she did.

“You can’t blame him, my darling” she said “this entire thing is filled with loopholes”

Thor snorted “I am well aware, grandmother. It will be over at the end of the week, worry not. Just four more days”

“Four more days with Loki” she blinked “Something can happen”

Thor whined “Nah, gran, please. It’s embarrassing already”

“Too late” Bestla stood, beaming “I ship it”

Thor frowned “You what?”

“Ship it” Bestla told him “You haven’t heard this term?”

Thor shook his head “No, why?”

She snickered “Then you are with the wrong company, my child”

She headed out, elegant and smiling.

“What does it mean?” Thor asked, not moving because a demon lay in his lap “Gran!”

“Goodnight, Thor” Bestla waved over his shoulder, leaving the room and Thor in everlasting suspense.

***

Thor had dozed off on the couch when Loki returned.

He was alerted, not by the door opening and closing, but by the purr that sounded somewhere over his chest, from the warmth currently curled over his heart.

He’d taken a bath to get all the rain off him and had decided to wait on the couch with his aching feet up. It hadn’t taken but five minutes for him to nod off and another six seconds for Ruben to jump on his chest to sleep.

He had no idea he was so tired, but when he woke, it was to Loki standing by the table, free of bruises his hands un-bandaged and clean, his gaze lowered.

Eir had done very well.

Clearly, he’d taken a bath as well, his hair was damp and falling over his face, his clothes were new and made for sleeping. He was standing by the dining table, looking at the warm, steaming tea placed there by Olivier and used his magic to stir it.

The tinkling was the only noise in the room for a few seconds and Thor sat up slowly, making Ruben leap off him with a disgruntled meow.

“Loki” he called softly “You’re back”

Loki nodded, his shaking hands wrapping around his waist as he held himself, still not looking at Thor.

“I – I didn’t mean to wake you, I’m sorry” Loki said softly “but now that you are, I – I wanted to apologize for my – my behaviour”

Thor was a little shocked and stood, walking to him “Why are you apologizing to me?”

He strode to him, but faltered when Loki was quick to put distance between them, the spoon stirring the tea suddenly clattered to a messy stop.

“Loki, why are you apologizing to me?” Thor asked, softer, but still firm.

Loki swallowed thickly “Because y-you paid for my freedom and want – want my help, not my problems. You don’t want a crying, mentally unstable idiot to stand by you, you shouldn’t cater to me. Tonight, my behaviour was horrible, I’m sorry”

Thor’s mouth parted slightly, in hurt, in pain, at the thought of Loki thinking, saying, and believing this. He shook his head and stepped forward.

“You can’t believe that” Thor whispered “You cannot think that, alright? I would never…”

“I won’t do it again”

“Loki!” Thor snapped “Don’t apologize for being hurt, you hear me. I don’t care if I paid for you, I don’t care if I freed you, that gives me no right to you. It gives me no right to ask you not feel or react a certain why, why are you saying this? Did someone say this to you?”

He saw Loki tense and frowned “Loki, who told you these things?”

At that moment, the door opened and Thor looked up angrily to see who the hell was disturbing him at this hour.

He opened his mouth to yell, but he froze in horror when he saw Balder walk in.

His face was a mask of bruises, his lip was cut and there was pain in his blue eyes.

Loki’s harsh intake of breath sounded in the room and Thor gaped.

“Balder, what happened?” Thor walked to him, his expression soft

His brother all but fell into his arms, sniffling and whimpering and Loki went to get Olivier.

Whatever the hell was going on here, Thor was going to find out.

And he was going to kill whoever was responsible.


	11. Betrayed?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You might as well save your breath” Loki said, his voice soft and firm “You are not thinking clearly and it is a bad idea”  
> “And what am I thinking?” Thor asked, no anger in his voice, no emotion, really.  
> “That you are going to try getting me into your bed” Loki looked at him

There was lightning and thunder active over the kingdom, a dark wraith that had many rush to their homes or fear for any belongings that still stayed outside. As the winds picked up, the rustling of leaves, tarps, banners and nearly everything that shifted in the wind became an echo with in the city.

The first thunderclap was terrifying, the blast above nearly deafening, the flash bright enough to make many cover their eyes and ears as they went home. The wind started to get stronger and though no rain fell at the moment, it was no riddle to know why this was happening, why the clouds were so dark, why the thunder was so loud.

Their prince was angry.

Not just angry, they realized as a bolt of lightning fell upon the ground far away, he was murderous.

Guards and staff placed gentle bets with each other as to what angered him to this point.

Or rather – who.

Two of the servants, having just heard about the wager were standing near the Prince’s room, on their way back since their work was done, when a commotion sounded.

At first, there were muffled yells, but by the next second, as they looked up, the doors to his room burst open and Thor stormed out, raging and absolutely livid.

The storm started to pick up outside, more terrifying thunder and lightning cracking the skies open. They were becoming more frequent, stronger with every beat of his heart, with every breath he took in rage.

He strode through, silencing the servants as he stormed forth, lethal, angry and huge. They were nothing to him as he walked past but chills went up their arms as he passed them and they cowered.

His feet thumped heavily on the marble as he made his way towards the one person he intended to destroy tonight.

Svadilfari.

There was no way he would live past the hour. None.

Never had a storm like this hit them and people started to get alarmed when the warning bells rang around the kingdom.

Two cyclones were lowering from the skies, delving to the water next to the bi frost like sinister tendrils, one before the other. Above them, the skies were screaming in rage and darkness, they were set to break whatever was nearby.

Roofs of houses started to shake, though the cyclones were not even born yet, trees started to get tugged upwards, people and animals fan to cover, screaming as panic settled within their bones.

The wind was so strong it was toppling carriages, carts, tipping the ships and boats along the docks, waves slammed against the edges of Asgard like warriors in battle.

It was horrifying, no one could hear their thoughts, much anything else, over the roaring thunder and the lighting so powerful it burnt the ground, the air it fell in, it’s electric hissing ominous and frightening.

No one could be heard.

But when his name was spoken from behind him, when he feel the static around him sense another and let them through, Thor was most eager to tell them of his determination.

“Thor, stop!”

He spun around when Loki was close enough to touch and grabbed him around the arms.

“I am not stopping; he beat my brother!” Thor yelled over the howling of the wind, the shrieking thunder and looked monstrous in every flash of the wicked lightning “I’ll rip him apart!”

Loki looked afraid, his brows were slanted back in fear, his face was pale, his eyes wide. He was shaking in Thor’s grip, he was _frightened_.

By the sounds, by the light, by the familiarity of these elements.

But he kept at it.

“You’re destroying the city!” Loki told him, barely heard over the onslaught of Thor’s rage “You’ll kill everyone!”

A wave of rain and hail hit the side of the palace, the thunderclap that came upon them shook the very floors and the buzzing electricity in the air responded, just as dangerously.

“Calm down!” Loki’s muffled, muted voice came to him “You have to calm down!”

Thor couldn’t, he was getting angrier and angrier and Loki gasped when his grip started to _hurt_.

“Thor, please!” he tried to get out of his hold “Stop this!”

Thor’s snarl was terrifying, his eyes were starting to glow, he looked like a demon as slowly, his body responded to the power he had. It started to prickle Loki where Thor held him, it started to hurt more!

“Thor!” he called, his voice drowned by the terror around them.

The servants were long gone, the people were fleeing in terror, two more cyclones touched the waters, closer to Asgard, four of them fully formed and heading towards them.

 Thor’s eyes whitened out and electricity danced over him, over the floor he stood on, heating it up and threatening to burst it apart.

A scream sounded before him, loud, sharp, full of pain and he heard it.

Like surfacing from deep, deep water, Thor slowly began to focus, his eyes locking onto what caused it.

His heart stopped the next moment as he saw Loki going limp in his hands.

His long neck was arched, his head falling back, his arms hanging by his sides as Thor held him. His skin, where it touched Thor burnt and the prince frowned, slowly gaining coherence as he gasped and let go, watching in horror as Loki fell to the marble floor and didn’t move.

The thunder and lightning outside coincided with each breathe he took to calm himself, the white painted world started to gain color and the power of the approaching tornadoes faded, pulling them back up into the clouds.

The fearsome winds stopped, the angry rain turned soft and the destruction around them ceased.

 His grief and fear powered the rain now and fell with him as he landed on his knees by Loki, his eyes shocked.

“Loki” he whispered, reaching out to touch him

He gasped and recoiled when Loki burned, his body so hot it felt like it should be steaming.

Thor’s heart pounded in horror as he shook his head

“No, no, no…” he pleaded, crawling to Loki, pulling him in his arms despite what he felt “you can’t do this, no…”

He wasn’t breathing and Thor looked around, seeing Olivier and Balder, staring from afar, from his room.

“Help!” Thor screamed “Get help!”

Olivier fled, once more, to get Eir and Thor placed Loki down on the floor again

“Loki, Loki, don’t…”

Thor bent over him, pressing down on his chest, one, two, three…

He breathed into his mouth, his eyes watering up. He watched Loki shake with each press but he didn’t wake up.

He didn’t move.

“No, Loki!” he gasped, pressing down on his chest again, thrice, trying to revive him “Come on, come back, come back!”

He lowered his head again, breathing into his mouth, trying to get him to breathe, trying to get his heart started again.

“Please, please…” Thor begged, pushing down over and over …

He felt the jolt, then Loki gasped, coughing and gasping for air beneath his hands. Thor instantly pulled him back up, feeling his body cool down as he held his, against his chest.

“I’m sorry” Thor gasped, holding him close “I’m sorry…I’m sorry…”

His whispers were broken, Loki only just heard them as he lay there, limp in his arms, barely awake.

He heard footsteps behind him, he heard Odin yell, and he heard guards.

He felt Loki be taken from him, he felt his arms be pulled behind his back and felt the decided click of handcuffs being put on him.

But he didn’t feel much else.

He felt little else.

***

As far as going from bad to worse, things went very quickly.

Even after his intervention, Odin found himself facing a Council who was neither impressed with Thor, nor willing to let him go easily.

His storm, his tantrum, had caused damage in the entire royal city, homes had been wrecked, property heavily damaged…and five people lost their lives.

Two girls, running from the disaster were struck by Thor’s falling lightning and three fishermen, lost in the waves created by Thor’s rage.

Their blood was on Thor’s hands, their families were outside the palace doors, demanding justice, demanding recompense, demanding an explanation as to why they suffered so.

And the Council listened, they brought forth Odin and sat him down, looked him in the eye and asked him.

What was he prepared to do, to get these innocent people justice?

The question shook Odin to the core, more so than what he’d learned about Balder, more so than seeing Loki when Thor had hurt him, more so than anything he had experienced ever since he lost his wife.

More than anything he had ever faced.

And for the life of him, he had no idea what to do.

He knew the truth, he told them what it was – keeping a few details about Balder to himself – and why Thor snapped, he told them who was responsible but they were adamant.

“The boy has killed five people in his rage” an aging councilman said “He is your son, heir to the most powerful throne in all the realms. He cannot act this way”

“I am aware, my lord” Odin said, looking up at them.

Aye, looking up.

Because for the past few hours, he was not a King, standing before the Council. He was a father, defending his son. The Council had called this meeting to discuss what to do with Thor and Odin had gone to the meeting to defend his child.

The council chambers were huge to him now, no doubt filled with spies and listeners each Council member hired, but at the moment, Odin didn’t care. He stood in the middle, standing at the podium as though he was being trialled. As though he was under scrutiny and though it was true to an extent, he was not going to let that bother him.

He can be scrutinized, his son could not.

“I am aware” Odin repeated when they stared “But he was driven to it, he lost his control”

“Our order cannot be set on someone who loses control” another Councilman, sitting to tie right side of the Head and judge spoke “What will Asgard do when they find out their future King is prone to such volatile acts?”

“Thor has never behaved this way” Odin defended, exhausted from repeating the same thing over and over “You know him, you have seen him grow. He is a good man”

“A good man and a great King are not the same” Odin was told by a Council Lady “Asgard has never known to have its own royalty murder its people”

“Thor didn’t murder them!” Odin insisted, for the umpteenth time “He was…”

“And to say nothing of the boy he insists on wedding” she continued “He is injured, is he not?”

“He was” Odin agreed “He is well, perfectly fine now that Eir tended to him. Loki will be well, but I cannot let you punish Thor for something he didn’t even do”

“He brought the storm, didn’t he?”

“It was out of his…”

“He brought lightning down on two young girls, didn’t he?”

A murmur went through the Council and Odin saw himself losing.

“Aye, but let me…”

“And he destroyed homes and businesses and property of the people of Asgard with his uncontrollable temper” the old Council man said “He is to be punished, made to face the consequences”

Odin looked from one to the other, lost “My lords and ladies, please. He was unaware that those people were there, his power…”

“His power should then be monitored”

Silence fell in the Council Chambers as the Head spoke, looking down at Odin.

Lord Grey had been here since the time of Bor and Odin had never seen him age. He had always assumed he would die soon, the poor, tired old man, but felt that when he did, it would be a great loss to him, personally.

Odin respected his wisdom and his help, so he kept his place as the Council Head, the only one in the entire universe, who could decide to overturn the command of a King. If the majority of the council was on his side, he could stop and implement any rule he wanted.

And despite this power, Grey never did.

But tonight, Odin felt a ball of lead seat in his belly as the man spoke.

“King Odin, you relinquished your title of King for this trial, the moment you stepped through the doors” Grey said, his voice firm, despite his age “You are a father, protecting his son. You do not want harm to come to him, that I accept.

But I have been in the chair since the time of your father, King Bor and then your own time and should my health stay well, I will live to aid young Thor. I have never, in your time nor your father’s, seen damage brought on my people by the hand of their King. If Thor is not held liable, then he will be viewed badly by the Kingdom. No King is above the law, not even your son, I am afraid”

Odin clenched his hand over the podium and looked at him “Your Honor,  my son protects these people. He made a mistake, he would never hurt them”

“A mistake that cost lives” Grey said “If only property was damaged, I wouldn’t set any punishment on him, but these are people, they were families. Justice will be given to them and I will sentence him myself”

And there, fell Odin’s heart, right at his feet. Pain of failure, disappointment soared through him as Grey pulled out official royal papers and dictated Thor’s sentence.

“I hereby order Crowned Prince Thor Odinson, son of King Odin and Late Queen Gaia to pay Weregild to the families of the men slaughtered by the storm he called forth” Grey stated, his voice strong and emphatic “Thor is to pay them in any form they choose, granted it brings him no life risk. The entirety of the sentence is dependent upon the families and given at a time of their choosing. Once his sentence is completed, he will be watched and observed until it is proven that he is no longer a danger to Asgard and her people”

Odin growled as he finished and resisted the urge to kick the podium in rage.

The order was passed from Council member to Council member until it circled, twirled its way down to him, signed by everyone.

“Apply your signature and seal, my lord” Grey said

“This is not fair” Odin looked at them “He did nothing maliciously”

“I am aware” Grey said “But not punishing him is unfair to the families who lost their loved ones, King. Sign the paper and you may depart”

Traditionally, Odin would sign the paper and stay until the details were figured out, written down and decided. But right now, he could do nothing and he signed it angrily, not caring if ink splashed on it.

He signed the order and all but threw the pen down. His anger was no secret and why should it be?

Thor hadn’t known, but at the same time, a voice in the back of his head, the King, not the father, agreed with these men and women.

Thor should have been more careful, everything he did has consequences and as royalty, they didn’t have the liberty to act thoughtlessly. It never ended well.

Never.

His anger, which was simmering and threatening to blow, slowly cooled as he headed down the hall, ignoring the guards behind him.

His cape billowed behind him, his boots clicked loudly on the marble, then the stairs when he climbed them and headed down to where his carriage awaited.

It was large enough to be a small room and had ample space within, where he could pace, should he not mind the confines.

Pacing helped him, pacing calmed him, but when he entered the carriage, he stopped when he saw Loki already sitting there, dressed like royalty.

Odin frowned “Loki? Why are you here? You should be resting, lad”

“Aye” Loki told him, looking him in the eye “But we need to talk. There is something you must know, my lord”

It baffled Odin and filled with dread, making his entrance into the carriage slightly apprehensive. Behind him, the door shut and he locked it from within. The carriage shifted beneath the weight of the guards and driver as they got on, then jolted as they departed.

Through it all, Odin stayed silent, watching Loki, waiting for him to speak. He could see the wheels in his head turning, calculating what he wanted to say.

“I –“ Loki started, then broke off “My King, I have something you need to know and I do not know how to speak about it with you, forgive me”

Odin furrowed his brow “Is it my behavior with you? Because if it is, Loki, I …”

“It’s not that” Loki said, raising a hand to halt Odin “It’s about me – about who I am”

That had Odin tensing, waiting for Loki to say something horrible.

And he wasn’t disappointed.

“I am King Laufey’s son” Loki told him, looking him in the eye “His illegitimate son, but his son, nonetheless. Should the true heirs to Jotunhiem perish, I will take the throne and I will rule over the powerful Kingdom, each man and woman under my control, including, and not limited to, the Northern Jotuns. My people are strong, they are powerful and can freeze lands to death within seconds”

Odin frowned “Why are you telling me this?”

“My point of telling you this is simple” Loki looked Odin in the eye “If Thor’s sentence, whatever it is, goes through, I will go to Jotunhiem, slice the throats of King, Princes and heirs to ensure I gain the throne. And when that happens, I will build my army and I will attack realm after realm, showing them and your petty Council and people what monsters truly are. I will desecrate land after land until my fiancé is set free and no sentence is set upon his shoulders. Your son did what he did my accident, spurred into anger by a demon who beat his brother and instead of looking for him, you punish my future husband. I will not stand for that”

Odin’s face was pale, his eyes wide and his face grim “Are you threatening me? With war?”

“I am warning you” Loki said, not moving an inch “Your son is important to me, he is my life. He is your life and the life of this kingdom. He is not to go through Weregild, King Odin”

“Then what do you suggest?” Odin asked, his voice hard “Give them money and send them on their way? They lost their families!”

“And you will lose more if you don’t stop this sentence” Loki growled “You have kept your own flesh and blood in cuffs, within a cell. He doesn’t even know if I am alive or not, he doesn’t know if Svadilfari has escaped or not, he knows nothing!”

Loki’s voice was like a whip within the carriage. And Odin hated himself for the chill that went through him at those words.

“What do you suggest then?” Odin asked “That I – let him go free? Tell my people they don’t matter? Is that it? What reputation will he have?”

“And what is to stop people from using the storms as an excuse to gain false Weregild, my lord?” Loki asked “Once you open this path, where Thor is a slave to their whims, what stops others from slitting their old father’s throats for a chance to gain something? Your family may be pure, others are not. Think upon what you will expose your royal family to, no one is as noble as you all are, no one”

Odin grit his teeth to keep from lashing out at Loki “The paper is signed, there is no turning back. Especially not without another form of ‘punishment’ for Thor.”

“Banish him to Jotunhiem for the days they mourn” Loki said, his voice a loud knoll within the carriage “Call it an impulsive decision, let yourself take the blame. You can handle it well, the Council will not argue much”

“Have you lost your mind?” Odin whispered “Banish him to Jotunhiem?”

“In a fit of anger, I suggest” Loki said “For as long as the families mourn and cool their rage at the thought of Thor in discomfort, there will be peace. Sadistic tendencies are easy to manipulate. Throw him in the land you most detest and forbid his return until he is deemed worthy.”

“And then what? Watch him get devoured by the animals there?” Odin asked, his voice rising with each word.

Loki snorted “Ye of little faith. I will be alongside him. I will ensure his safety, nothing will happen to him. Once he is out of their reach, the people will calm themselves.”

“If not?” Odin asked “Then what?”

“Then flog me in the village square if you feel that strongly” Loki said “But you have time till this carriage stops by the cells to decide. Otherwise, I go to Jotunhiem alone and return, as I have promised, with an army”

Odin’s lips tightened and he glared at him “You are playing a dangerous game, Loki. This will not end well for you”

“I think it will” Loki smiled, dangerous, lethal and poisonous.

Odin longed to hit him.

But he flinched a moment later, when Loki started to fade, then vanish from before him like dust.

Little snake!

Odin was wrong in thinking Loki was with Thor for power.

The chaotic demon, clearly didn’t need it to get what he wanted.

As the carriage jolted and moved, Odin sighed loudly, stuck between a rock and a hard place.

There was no way in hell anything good would come from this.

None whatsoever.

In the palace, in Thor’s room and bed, because Balder had taken the spare, Loki’s hands fell on the bed beside him, tired.

He was exhausted.

But at least it was worth it, if nothing else, to see Odin’s face look so stunned and hopeless.

***

And as if his problems were not already enough, Odin has another, somewhat unpleasant surprise that evening.

He had come back from the cells after talking to Thor and had been more disturbed than before.

He’d walked to the cells, barely reached them when Thor was running to him, all but touching the gold barrier.

“H-How is he?” Thor whispered “How’s Loki? How’s…”

He broke off, swallowing heavily and Odin stared, his eye wide, even scared.

“I – I” Odin cleared his throat, then at the guard beside him “Open the door”

The man hesitated, but with his king before him, he had little choice.

Odin stepped back as the gold shield faded from before him and then stepped in, looking at his son. Once he was inside, the guard turned it back on and the thrumming filled the silence as he thought on what to say to Thor.

“Loki’s fine, Eir fixed whatever damage was done, he is well” he tried keeping the strain from his voice but it might as well have been useless.

Thor truly looked upset and Odin exhaled.

“Thor, what have you done?” he whispered “You killed those people, they had families, son, what did you do?”

His expression turned devastated and Thor shook his head “I didn’t mean to. I honestly didn’t mean to lose control like that, Father, I didn’t mean to kill them”

 Odin sighed heavily, looking at his son, his fear was hidden behind the will to stay strong. He was afraid of his future and what lay in store for him.

He wanted to know what was going to happen and Odin felt the knowledge crush his heart.

“The Council has made a decision” Odin told him, keeping his voice as free of emotion as he possibly could. “They want you to pay Weregild to the families at a time and form of their choosing. They can ask anything of you and you will be bound to do it as long as it doesn’t put you in danger”

Thor’s eyes widened “Anything?”

“Aye” Odin sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose “They can demand anything. I think this is more about damaging your reputation than anything else. The Council is bent on punishing you”

“Then confine me to the palace” Thor said “I don’t say that those people are bad, but I don’t know what they will demand of me”

“That is why we will find out” Odin rubbed his arms “And – as much as I despise myself for this, there may be another way.”

Thor frowned “Another way? For what?”

“Another plan” Odin clarified “In case their demands become too much. Loki came to me-“

“Loki?” Thor cut in “What – What did he say? Does – He hates me, doesn’t he?”

And for the first time, Thor didn’t know if his fear was real or for Odin’s benefit. But by the way his heart was pounding, he was sure it was the former.

“He doesn’t hate you” Odin placated, resting a hand on Thor’s shoulder “He’s…”

Odin broke off because he realized that Thor was trembling, he was shaking and cold as ice. The man looked at him, at his expression and his own turned pained.

“Oh, Thor…”

Odin walked forward and pulled Thor into his arms, holding him closer, his arms around his strong shoulders, holding on.

Thor was terrified, in pain and agony.

And he hadn’t come to Odin because of the wall Odin had placed, with his prejudice, with his hate…

Odin squeezed his eyes shut and he felt Thor’s own arms come around him.

“I’m so sorry” Odin whispered “Thor, I didn’t …”

Thor’s hand came to cradle Odin’s head and he kissed his hair. Even as he was the one shaking, as he was the one who was terrified, Thor comforted him and Odin felt horrible, he felt like he didn’t deserve this kindness.

“Calm yourself, old man” Thor joked softly “If they wish me to pay, I will. I will not have the Odinson name tarnished more than I have already allowed it to be”

“You made a mistake” Odin whispered, his voice thick with emotion “You didn’t even know they were there, you have been protecting them for so long…”

Thor laughed softly, cutting him off “I am aware of things I have done, Father. This – This is my fault, I will pay for it”

“Pay how?” Odin pulled back “These people are angry, they will not be merciful.”

Thor smiled and cupped Odin’s shoulder, giving him a shake “Punishment is not merciful, it isn’t supposed to be”

And oh, how right Thor had been.

Despite not wanting to leave Thor like that, he had to. His ride from the cells back to the palace was shorter, Loki’s warning throbbing within his head, making him think about it over and over.

He had intended to go to the Council Chambers immediately, but his feet and his lack of will to truly make his son suffer, led him straight to Thor’s suite.

As he entered, Thor’s valet, who was sitting conversing with Eyvindr shot to his feet, both of them becoming professional.

“My King, how can I help?” Olivier offered – this was his domain, not Eyvindr’s.

But Odin was in no state of mind to talk to anyone other than Loki.

He knew where he was, he had come over earlier to ask about him, so he didn’t even hesitate.

He strode right into Thor’s bedroom with no warning knock or politeness around him.

Loki was on the bed and he sat up sharply, his hand keeping the sheets to his chin. Beside him, on a stool and with a chessboard placed upon a table between them, sat Balder.

They had been relaxed, talking softly as they played their game when Odin walked right over and looked Loki in the eye.

Loki, who didn’t look at all like the illusion he cast and more afraid than confident. And that was probably the purpose of the illusion, Odin thought, to give him the strength he didn’t have, when in truth he was frightened of Odin – or wary, knowing this little monster.

“Balder, out” Odin said sharply, then softened his hard expression when Balder flinched “I wish to talk to Loki, you can come back in a few minutes”

Loki looked on warily, keeping his mouth shut as Balder stood and gave him a look, mostly telling him he was there. He then walked off, muttering a soft warning to Odin.

He was not to hurt him.

Odin would have argued, but he had other things on his mind and while he watched Balder leave, Loki sat up properly and fixed his clothes to feel less vulnerable. It would also help him focus if he wasn’t worried about exposing himself to his false father in law.

The door clicked shut and Odin looked at Loki, right in the eyes.

How he did that with one eye, Loki wasn’t sure, but it unnerved him.

 “I’m going to put aside our differences and the fact that you threatened me” Odin told him “For one, simple answer which you will give truthfully, alright?”

Loki - stamping down on the fact that Odin had done injustice to him, too – raised a brow “Alright. What question?”

“Can you truly and honestly guarantee my son’s safety in Jotunhiem?”

Slowly, Loki lost the battle he had against his will to not smile and as it spread over his lips, Odin couldn’t help but wonder if he was making a mistake or not.

***

The first family Thor had to pay Weregild to demanded a public flogging.

And in that moment, Odin decided to go ahead with his plan. Or rather, Loki’s magnificently thought of plan. Not that he would ever admit it.

The family, the father of the lost girls, was furious and when Odin tried to sway him, he only dug his heels in deeper, he wanted Thor to suffer, he wanted the prince to feel loss and pain, being away from his family, in agony like his girls were.

Loki’s words came to him then and he, already on the precipice of letting Thor go to Jotunhiem, took the plunge.

“Then I suggest you do it properly” Odin told him “Why not just hang him if you hate him so much? Why not execute him?”

“Because your Council forbid it” the father snarled, his eyes filled with tears “They were my daughters, my beautiful girls and that man took them away! I would kill him in a heart beat, so would the others but we cannot. You made sure of that”

Odin was tight lipped as the man continued.

“We have all decided to flog him, leave him in the stockades, hurt him” the father said “So he learns, Majesty. We may not be able to kill him but he will pay”

How bitter, the truth was, really.

He could almost hear Loki laughing at him.

“My son has placed a burden on my shoulders” Odin told him “There are other ways to get Weregild, my friend. Lands, homes, whatever else you desire. You can get more than pain, you know this”

“I don’t care” the man said “Perhaps his pain will teach the family to be less tolerant of his behaviour”

This time, Odin had to clench his hand and inhale deeply to avoid punching the man square in the jaw.

“He made a mistake”

“He killed my daughters” the man said “Once the Council releases him to our hands, he will pay Weregild”

“As you wish, then” Odin said abruptly, startling him when he stood “If you will excuse me, I have more meetings to attend”

The father looked stunned and flustered, trying to gather coherence to speak to Odin. It wasn’t like he was given this chance again, he was given ten minutes and he wanted his anger known.

“Majesty” he called, getting up to follow “I am not finished”

“Aye, but I am” Odin threw over his shoulder as he walked out, leaving the doors open behind him as he left his public office “Show him to the doors, I have to have a word with my son”

The guards before him nodded and went to escort the angered, heart broken father out of the palace vicinity. Odin headed to a carriage, pulling out a small scroll from within his pocket. He had it rolled nicely, a signal to Loki, a permission for him to go ahead with their plan.

Loki had made some sort of preparations, but Odin had asked for a chance to speak to the delegate the families of the victims had placed forth. He had hoped, he told Loki yesterday, that he could get them to change their minds.

If they did, Thor would get a light punishment – Loki didn’t like that.

And if they didn’t, Thor would be headed to Jotunhiem while Odin pretended to be furious with him – Loki loved that.

He loved the sound of his own voice, really, telling Odin he was right.

Gods, he wanted to wring his scrawny neck but thank him at the same time. What nonsense was that?

He didn’t even bother changing his armor as he went to the stables, snapping his fingers to get a stable hand to prep his horse. Beside him, stood another, in awe of their King and jumped to attention so fast his bones popped loudly, making Odin wince.

“Hand this to Prince Loki, no one else” Odin told him “Understand? Go in through the servant’s entrances and rush there. Now, move!”

The speed with which the boy departed was unparalleled and Odin shook his head as he tripped and stumbled his way to the palace.

The king watched him till he faded in the distance, then turned to see his horse being prepared. The horse was black as night and big, bigger than Thor’s and bowing only to Odin’s command. It let the stable hand fix it up because it saw Odin.

The animal was loyal and Odin waited till it was walked to him to smile and pet its muzzle

“There you are, darling” he cooed at it

The horse neighed softly and watched him, waiting obediently for him to climb on its back. When the King did, it walked out of the stables, taking the path Odin took daily to get out of the palace.

Odin needed to put his – Loki’s – plan into motion as he rode onwards and he hoped that the conversation they had was enough to make Loki keep his promise of not letting any harm come to Thor.

“I’ll be watching you” Odin had told him as they sat in Thor’s chambers “Don’t think you will get away with hurting him”

“I am sure you will” Loki smiled at him, sitting on the edge of the bed as Odin had taken Balder’s stool “You will probably thwart all the evil plans I have to torture the man I love”

Odin raised a brow at him as Loki smiled.

There was a few second’s silence before Odin hummed

“Are you really his son?” Odin asked “Laufey’s? Why weren’t you raised in the palace?”

Loki hated this topic, it irritated him and brought out a bone deep sense of self loathing within him. But he let none of that show, except for maybe the sharp tone of his voice, as he nodded.

“I am Laufey’s son,” Loki told him “My mother, Farbauti, was a chamber maid. Laufey’s mate was an uptight, selfish prude, who only lay on her back for the King to mount when she felt like it. My mother was – is – a warm hearted person. I cannot blame him for falling in love with her.”

Odin frowned “He loved her?”

“Loves” Loki corrected “But when she found out I was on the way, she simply vanished. He doesn’t know where she is and she married my father, my true father. He was the one I loved”

Odin frowned “What happened to him?”

For a second, Loki’s face turned pained, then he smiled, clearly fake “He died when I was young. Now, the plan I have is simple…”

Odin let it go, looking at the ground for a few seconds as Loki spoke.

“There are a few places I can easily get us accommodation, food, shelter, anything. That is no problem” Loki told him “The problem comes in two parts, both of which you will have to fulfil”

Humming, the king had looked at him “Aye?”

“First, you need to get Thor to a very specific place in Jotunhiem” Loki told him “As much as it pains me to say it, you are right. Jotunhiem is dangerous, especially for Aesir princes. I will give you the co ordinates, I pray you will learn and send both of him there in your fit of rage. I will be there already after – well, you will see.”

“And the second?” Odin asked, deliberately not asking about Loki’s plan for himself, knowing Loki wanted him to.

Loki grinned, privy to his deliberate lack of questioning “Money, dear King. A sack of Asgardian gold will do much for us both on the land of death and desolation.”

“Of course” Odin smirked “Where will you stay?”

“A cottage” Loki told him “My father had one built up high in the mountains. We sold it but because it is so far away, the owner isn’t that keen on living there. He won’t do much, he’d old and his children too young. I am certain it will take them a few years to get to work on it, more time than we think you need to ‘punish’ Thor, my lord”

“What of warmth and food and provisions?” Odin asked

“All will be cared for the moment you send me the signal” Loki had assured him “I am more than reliable in these sort of things”

“I’m sure you are” Odin muttered, but there was nothing nasty about his tone “You will have to wait, however, for me to try and get them to change their minds”

“Of course, my lord” Loki said

They hadn’t spoken since but he knew that Loki had asked for a small allowance for a shopping spree with his mother. They bought a worrisome amount or fabrics that, frankly, would look better on a woman.

He said nothing about it, mostly because he was busy with the meeting and his ability to change the families’ minds.

But as it was, nothing happened and Odin was basically given no choice.

So, with a heavy heart, he turned his horse to the palace gates and led them both to the cells.

***

 “I, Odin Allfather, in my name, the name of my father, King Bor and his father and those before, cast you out!”

There were shocked cries from the people around, who came to witness Thor’s flogging, there was a pained shout from Thor as the spell Odin threw at him hit him square in the chest.

His eyes were shocked, stunned and hurt, realizing Odin would remember them forever.

Thor had not been told what would happen.

Such was the cruelty.

But nothing could be done now as Odin watched his son, the one he had started a false argument with, the one he had hurt with his words and actions.

Because, before Thor had been brought here, Loki had arrived to play his part of distressed fiancé. He had gathered the people, ordering them to stand by him and let this be stopped.

True dramatics, Odin was impressed as he walked over to break up the gathering.

There were words, accusations flung as Loki acted his part very well, leaving Odin slightly on edge, expecting him to betray him or something.

But Loki did nothing, he even had tears in his eyes as he screamed at Odin, told him he would not stand for this and - vanished.

Odin’s shock was not feigned as a veil of thick smoke erupted from the ground at Loki’s feet, enveloping him completely before he blinked out of existence.

And it gave Odin the drive to let out his rage, as it were, upon Thor. He nearly wavered in the face of the horrible words Loki spewed.

But he managed a good enough performance, startling even himself as he watched Thor fall back under the hit of his magic and get sucked into the vortex he created. Odin forced himself to think of the coordinates Loki gave him and sent his son there, into the slashing winds of Jotunhiem.

Into the land of the enemy.

He’d lowered his hand as the portal closed and, leaving him catching his breath for a few seconds.

There was stunned silence around him, at what he had done then soft gasps as Odin turned and rode his horse back to the palace, ready to explain to the Council about his ‘impulsive’ reaction.

Of course they would be shocked, but Odin was sure that with Thor taken care of, he could focus on getting Svadilfari into Asgard and hang him.

Begrudgingly, he thanked Loki for caring for Thor as he handled this.

For he wanted his reply to what Svadilfari had done to be one that shook the core of Asgard with its strength.

And the strength that he wanted was likely hitting Thor at that moment, because the moment he landed on Jotunhiem, he found himself in the midst of a cruel storm.

He gasped as the stinging, sharp wind hit him as he got on his hands and knees to get up.

A painful cry escaped him as he was thrown down again by a powerful gust of heavy wind, starting to feel himself go numb.

His father was cruel!

This was the worst thing he could have done!

“Thor!”

The absolutely last thing he expected here was Loki’s voice, so he reasoned he must be hallucinating and curled up, trying to hide from the unending wind.

It hit him as it would a tree – harshly – drawing from him pained cry, one after another as he fell to his side, then desperate to get back up.

“Thor!”

This time, it is no hallucination and Thor looked up to see Loki, yes Loki, running over, a cloak in his hands.

“Come with me!” Loki told him, placing the cloak over his nearly frozen form “I’ll explain everything!”

Thunder and rain and hail and ice, all of it rumbled and fell with the wind, but when Loki put the cloak over him, generous warmth poured through him, making it possible to walk. With Loki’s guidance, Thor stumbled his way through the wind, blinding white air and the snow.

There, before them, was a decent sized house and it was to this Thor was taken. Even from afar, it looked warm and Thor feels his knees start to give out at the thought of that warmth around him.

The mercilessly howling wind hit them over and over, making both of them stumble till they staggered to the  door.

It flew open under Loki’s spell as he all but dragged Thor inside. The prince was unused to this cold, anyone would be, and was shivering despite the enchanted cloak.

Loki led him in, closed the door behind him and snapped the howling wind, dropping them into silence.

Thor’s panting, heavily and Loki sat up to toss more wood in the fireplace, illuminating the room and warming it up faster.

“Come on” Loki said softly, helping Thor to his feet and taking him to the fireplace “This will warm you right up”

He sat him before it and placed the cloak better around the shivering prince.

“There, now” Loki whispered, sitting next to him “When you are able to listen, let me know, aye?”

Thor nodded, or rather he was shivering so much it looked like he was nodding. Either way, Loki pat his back and stood, heading to the kitchen.

“I have put on stew for us” Loki said “It will be done in half an hour, but the broth is done”

Thor looked at him, slowly, too cold to do much else and saw him pouring broth from a pan into a lovely green keg, thick and ready for Thor to hold.

“Here we are” Loki said, walking over and crouching by Thor, smiling at him “Here, hold this, it will warm your hands up”

Loki took one of Thor’s hands in his own and placed it on the keg, smiling when Thor placed the other around it automatically.

“Good, now sip it slowly, I will get mine”

Thor looked at the keg, which was warming him up, at the fire and the cloak, feeling warmth soak him right through. He waited until Loki sat with him to blow over the rim and take his first sip.

“Thank you” Thor whispered “For this”

Loki smiled “Well, it’s nothing, really. I couldn’t really let you freeze”

He laughed softly and Thor scoffed.

“More than my father did, for sure,” he snapped “He threw me here, he banished me after you ran off.”

Loki chuckled “Oi, he didn’t. It was my idea, to save you from the Weregild they were asking. Odin merely played his part”

Silence fell like a stone between them and it wasn’t good.

“What?”

Thor’s sharp tone made Loki look up from the sip he was taking and frown.

“What?” Loki asked, his tone cautious

“What did you just say?” Thor asked, his rumbling voice dangerously close to lethal “ _You_ did this? This was your idea?”

Loki’s eyes widened as Thor placed his keg down and dropped the cloak from his shoulder, facing him fully. Facing him like an adversary.

Loki felt alarm course through him and was quick to his feet, his eyes widening when Thor stood and followed.

“Wait, wait” Loki said, stepping back “This is temporary, it was the only way to save you from what…”

“From what!?” Thor shouted, his face furious “From my home? From my security, my life? Is that what you saved me from!? To bring me here, make my father hate me and throw me _here_ , of all places!?”

“You father doesn’t hate you!” Loki told him, keeping a safe distance “I promise, Thor, this will be over, it’s a minor inconvenience”

“I trusted you!” Thor roared “I trusted you, Loki, how could you do this!? Haven’t I lost enough!? Why did you have me thrown here?”

Thunder clapped loudly up ahead and the wind picked up. Loki’s heart began to race and he retreated further, looking at the window, shaken by the flashes.

“Thor, calm down, please”

“No, I will not!” Thor snapped “I have to find Svadilfari, I have to kill him for what he did and now I can’t, because…!”

He broke off, kicking out and sending the keg Loki had been using flying into the fireplace, where it shattered.

Loki gasped, looked at the livid warrior approaching and backed away, stopping when he felt the wall behind him.

“Thor, please!” he whispered “I didn’t do this to hurt you, I thought we would get the hammer back faster, that Odin wouldn’t suspect anything if he sent you here himself, I’m sorry!”

“You ruined my reputation!” Thor yelled, not stopping as he stormed over.

Loki’s heart stopped when Thor slammed his hands beside his head on the wall, looming over him, looking like he would skin Loki where he stood.

“You had me _exiled_!” Thor into his face “You threw me out of my home!”

Loki turned his face away, his eyes shut, his hands clenched.

The noise, the lightning, everything reminded him of Taneleer, of that room, of the horror and his hands began to shake again.

“Loki!”

He gasped when Thor grabbed his jaw and made him look at him, glaring into his face. His blue eyes were furious, utterly furious as he stood there, holding Loki and he looked ready to say something else.

But as quick as Thor’s ire rose, before Loki’s eyes. It started to fall, it was slow, Thor’s expression softened and Loki realized it was because of him.

When he blinked, two tears slipped down his cheeks and Thor gasped, very softly, lowering his hand from Loki’s jaw, letting it fall gently to his side. The man was still close, very close, his other hand still by Loki’s head, staring at him.

Thor breathed out softly and stepped back, just a little.

Then he sighed louder and turned away, walking off, his hands in his hair as he paced. Loki stood where he was, realizing he couldn’t move because his knees were wobbly.

“I’m sorry”

Loki, who was looking to the broken keg in the flames, looked up at Thor when he spoke, but kept his own mouth shut.

“I – I didn’t mean to scream at you” Thor told him, still giving Loki his back “I just…”

“You’re scared” Loki whispered softly, looking at the ground when Thor spoke “And it’s easier to blame me because I did do this”

“Loki…”

Thor turned and walked back, feeling his chest tighten when Loki tensed his body and tried hiding his shaking hands by pressing them against the wall.

He felt Thor come to a stop before him but he didn’t look up. He was unable to relax after being screamed at and stayed still.

“I’m sorry” Thor whispered, raising a hand and brushing Loki’s hair back “I didn’t mean it”

Loki once more said nothing, but he allowed it when Thor placed a hand under his chin and made him look at him.

His blue eyes, for once, were sincere, there was no one here other than them and they were so close, so deliciously close that Loki could easily see the designs in Thor’s eyes, the black within his beautiful blue eyes.

“I’m sorry” Thor repeated, his voice gentle “I – I didn’t think”

Loki smiled softly “Do you ever?”

A huff of laughter hit his lips and made him realize he was too close, far too close to Thor.

“You make me sound stupid” Thor whispered, his eyes going to Loki’s lips “I should turn you senseless, make you stop thinking just like me”

Loki snickered softly “You can try, it won’t happen”

Thor raised a brow and when his hand slipped from Loki’s hair to cup his cheek, Loki knew what was coming.

They were alone, this was no pretence and Loki eagerly responded.

Thor’s lips landed on his own, very softly, just a brush, testing to see if Loki would push him back. When he didn’t, Thor looked at his eyes once, then kissed him proper.

Loki felt his gentle sigh against his lips, his eyes closing when Thor’s heavy arm pulled him from the wall and against his chest.

Loki’s own arms went around him eagerly, pressing against him and he gasped softly into his mouth when Thor lifted him and pressed him against the wall, sliding his hands down his sides to cup his rear. His hands on his bottom made Loki’s breath catch in his throat and he hissed when Thor squeezed, then pulled him up, making him wrap his legs around his waist.

They broke off the kiss, Loki to breathe, Thor to bite down his neck. It was stunning and Loki tipped his head back, holding on as Thor continued, nipping and mouthing against his skin.

Thor growled against his skin and Loki felt the sound of it against himself, making him shudder. Then Thor’s hands were sliding beneath his tunic and though Loki was aroused, highly, he froze.

“Stop”

The breathy word was out before Loki wanted it to and the effect was instant on Thor.

The man lifted his head and looked at Loki, his eyes blown with lust, his lips flushed, his cheeks red. He looked aroused, he wanted this to continue, but Loki stopped it.

“Not…” Loki swallowed “Put me down, please”

Again, his voice was breathy and Thor obeyed, slowly putting Loki down and stepping away gingerly.

Loki had to lean against the wall but he couldn’t stop his eyes from widening when he saw the obvious tent in Thor’s trousers, which he tried to conceal by turning away.

“I will return” Thor told him, his voice husky with unspent desire.

Loki said nothing as the man walked off, heading to the stairs. There was no doubt where he was going – far away from Loki.

And even though it was the right thing to do, Loki found a thick weight of regret sit upon his chest and make it slightly hard for him to breathe.

***

Dinner had been – for lack of a better word – charged, as though touched my Thor’s lightning. They had sat opposite each other, talked over the food barely and stared at each other when they thought they were not being watched. Loki watched the way Thor’s hands moved and Thor was entranced by his throat.

Beautiful, they both thought of one another.

Loki wasn’t blind, Thor was a magnificently built man and though Loki had previously stuck to his woman, he wasn’t above wanting Thor, if he did.

He had an appetite, Loki hoped it ranged to other areas of his life, too. He ate like he fought, likely, strength in every movement, his arms and strong hands moving over his plate, making Loki expect them to grab him, hold him, pin him…

He had to take a deep breath.

The soft sound within the relative silence of the small table they had seemed loud and one look at Thor had Loki know that he knew exactly what he was thinking.

He said nothing, but his gaze grew more heated, his eyes roved openly over Loki, daring him to say something.

Loki said nothing, he held his tongue and waited it out.

It seemed that it was worth it until dinner finished because Thor seemed to understand that Loki didn’t want to pursue their actions, despite what he’d felt from them.

But if Loki thought he’d given up, he was far from the truth.

He was in the kitchen, fixing and cleaning up after the cooking while Thor had been exploring the house. It was pitch black outside, no light or life around them, so when Thor entered the kitchen, Loki could see both him and his own reflection in the black backed window glass as though it were a mirror.

Thor was at his most casual. The house was very warm and Loki had brought a bag of Thor’s clothing and necessities – thank you, Olivier – and showed it to Thor.

The prince, warm and fed, was glad of it and had been quick to change into his black, high necked woollen tunic and grey sleep trousers. His feet were in his open toed slippers but he looked every bit the prince he was.

Thor was here for a purpose.

Loki knew exactly what he was going to say, so once again, he stayed silent. In the glass, he saw Thor’s eyes, his mouth, watching him lick his lips as he thought of the right way to do this.

He saw him inhale and part his lips.

“You might as well save your breath” Loki said, his voice soft and firm “You are not thinking clearly and it is a bad idea”

“And what am I thinking?” Thor asked, no anger in his voice, no emotion, really.

“That you are going to try getting me into your bed” Loki looked at him in the glass

He expected, perhaps refusal, but Thor caught his eye and smiled.

“Ah, see, you are wrong about that” he rumbled “That is not what I am thinking”

“No?” Loki asked “Then what is on your mind?”

Loki acted nonchalant, focused on the cleaning he was doing rather than Thor.

He felt him walk over and deliberately didn’t look up for a few seconds.

But when he did, his heart almost stopped.

Loki was a few inches shorter than Thor, but the man was twice his width and it showed.

In the glass, Loki saw reflected himself and right behind him, Thor, looming, hovering over him, right behind him.

His hands came to settle on either side of Loki’s hips, his heated body all but pressing against his from behind. Enveloping him, covering him…

Loki swallowed thickly as he looked at Thor in the glass, unable to turn away from his eyes.

“You’re wrong” Thor rumbled, his head, his mouth right by his ear, his breath brushing his ear.

It nearly sent a shudder through him.

“I wasn’t thinking about that” Thor whispered, looking away from Loki in the glass and focusing his gaze on Loki’s profile “I was thinking about what I would do to you once you are in my bed. I am sure you will be eager to get there once I share it with you”

Loki swallowed heavily and let out a soft gasp when Thor grinded against his rear, just for a second, a brush, nearly non-existent, just like the lips on his ear.

There, almost there, but too far. Brushing, moving against him but never touching.

“I’ll light you on fire” Thor whispered, his voice deep, husky “I’ll cover you in petals, make them whisper over your skin with my breath. I’ll kiss you so softly, you wouldn’t be able to breathe. I will touch …”

His fingers ghosted over Loki’s forearm, leaving chills in its wake.

“you like a phantom” Thor told him, setting his hand back down on the counter “I’ll catch that hitch in your throat, Loki, I will have you hiss in pleasure so soft you wouldn’t be able to think of anything else. I’ll use my mouth, I’ll use it on places you didn’t dream a mouth could be used on, I’ll chase my kisses on your skin with my tongue, with my _teeth_ …”

He growled, softly, right by Loki’s ear and smiled at the way his breathing had quickened.

“I’ll carve my passion into you, hold you down, my hands wrapped around your waist, keeping you there as I push into you” Thor whispered “Pressing you into the bed, my bed. I’ll scratch your back, down your arms, your ribs, my fingers will leave burning trails in their wake.”

Loki swallowed heavily, unable to respond.

“You will taste yourself on my lips,” Thor told him, that same whisper, that same distance “You won’t be able to move your hands, not when they pull on the sheets, not when they pull so hard, not when I push deep into you…”

Loki did gasp, Thor’s hips rubbed his hips against Loki’s hard enough to nudge him forward, trap him against the counter.

“You’re going to grow hoarse screaming for me” Thor whispered “And I will take my time, I will light you up, burn that passion inside you”

He leaned over and kissed Loki’s temple, whispering against it.

“I will make sure you are in my bed” Thor told him “Writhing beneath me, whispering my name, tears will form in your eyes as I please you.”

He pulled away, just a little and looked at him in the glass again.

“That is what I was thinking” Thor smiled, winking at him, his voice still soft “And now you won’t be able to think of anything else.”

Loki realized he was having trouble breathing and he swallowed heavily as Thor turned and walked off, unaffected.

Himself, he was sure he wouldn’t think of anything but this. And damn the man, he knew it too.

When he was gone, Loki cursed himself for falling for something so base, and went back to cleaning. But in his head, his voice repeated those words, in his head, he saw himself over and over, doing what Thor had told him he would, seeing himself naked, writhing, gasping, pulling.

Loki set the cloth he was cleaning with down and headed to get his cloak.

The storm was long gone, there was no reason for him not to go outside in the cold.

None.

***

The wind shifted very slowly, making it easy to spot his ally – unwilling though he was – walking over.

His cloak covered him from neck to ankles, Taneleer was happy to note and he smiled at him, at the pale faced figure.

“You took your time” Taneleer mocked “Getting cold feet?”

“Hardly” the response was terse “I’ve lived in a land of snow and ice, those are a myth”

Taneleer smiled and hummed “You look angry, why? Getting attached?”

“Never” he snapped

“Ooh, defensive” Taneleer mocked, then sighed, looking around “Alright, you have held your end of the bargain, the start of it at least. Prince Thor is here to get his hammer”

“Aye, he is”

“He’ll make an excellent addition to the school, don’t you think? I am sure he will be more trying than you were and an unbelievable man in bed. Anyone would be lucky to have those plump lips sucking on them” Taneleer beamed “Right, Loki?”

Loki looked up at him, his face stern and filled with hate. He said nothing as he glared at him.

“Cease your nonsense” he snapped “I have brought him here as you asked. Now where is she?”

Taneleer smiled and tilted his head to the side.

“Follow me”

Hating him with every step, Loki followed after Taneleer, letting him lead him to where his mother was, hopefully so he could take her home.

If this demon allowed it.


	12. Calefaction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Not really” Loki said “It could make it interesting”  
> “What do you have in mind?”  
> “If I lose” Loki announced “you can do whatever you want to me. I will willingly consent”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Golikethat, I know you wanted sweet but I couldn't resist a little angst.

The storm was long gone outside, but the chill remained. It was day out now but no less colder and here, where he had fallen asleep after returning from the outside, Loki lay before the freezing fireplace. He was curled on the rug, his head pillowed by his arm as he lay there. His eyes were thrown in a corner and the cloak he wore last night was his blanket.

When he’d returned after seeing Taneleer last night, he had been exhausted and he hadn’t the energy to go upstairs. He just wanted warmth and a soft place. He’d intended on resting there for only a few seconds, but before he knew it, the fire had warmed his bare feet and he was won over.

His disappointment had barely been fixed by the warmth and there were dried tear tracks on his cheeks as he slept on, unawares.

He stayed asleep as thumping footsteps signalled the arrival of Thor, who came downstairs to see if Loki was awake and why there was no breakfast being cooked. He was a prince, he wasn’t going to cater to himself unless he absolutely had to.

That was Loki’s job.

But anything he wanted to say died at his lips when he saw the sad figure sleeping by the long extinguished fire.

For a few moments, Thor stood, watching him and trying to make sense of why Loki was sleeping on the floor when there was a big enough bed right upstairs. But he didn’t much put more thought into it, especially when he felt a gust of wind sweep in from the fireplace.

Thor walked to it, careful of being too loud, tip toeing past Loki to go stoke up the ashes. There was little heat in there so Thor went to the kitchen to get the firewood so he could light it. But as he came back, he saw Loki sitting up, wincing and hissing as the pain of sleeping on the floor registered.

“Morning” Thor said, keeping his voice soft so as not to jar Loki’s hearing “Have a nice rest on the cold hard floor you chose for no reason?”

Loki threw him a sleepy, but dry glare, rubbing his eye with one hand and levering himself into a sitting position with the other.

“Not too bad” Loki rasped, his voice hoarse “Did you enjoy the soft bed?”

“Immensely” Thor beamed, coming to drop the wood in “Would have been better if I had company, but I make do with what I have”

“You hand?” Loki asked, watching Thor work

Thor burst out laughing, looking at Thor over his shoulder as he worked.

Loki found himself lost in those blue, beautiful blue eyes, the crinkles by them, the mirth in his expression.

He wanted to make him laugh more often.

“Ah, that witty brain of yours must get you in so much trouble” Thor snickered as he stepped away from the wood to look for the matches “Did you talk to that bastard, then?”

Loki shuddered, not even exaggerating his disgust “Of course. He was very eager to meet with me”

“He didn’t try anything, did he?” Thor asked, looking Loki over once before searching for the matchstick box “Because from what you told me last night, he seems like someone who would try it”

“He – Thor, the matches are right there” Loki cut himself off to point, irritated, at Thor’s foot as he searched “You’ve stepped on them”

Thor looked down and grinned “There they are.”

He picked them up and tossed a few crushed ones into the fireplace, gesturing Loki to keep talking.

“He wouldn’t try it right now,” Loki told him “He knows I will be expecting it. I just wish I could kill him”

“I know” Thor said, his voice a little more sombre than before “I wish you could, too. But I don’t want to risk your mother. Do you really think he has her in his home?”

“I’m positive” Loki said, then he applauded when Thor managed to set the logs aflame “congratulations, you have learned the accomplishments of cave dwellers”

Thor snorted and gave him a false smile, got to his feet and flicked the matches at Loki.

“I’m hungry” Thor announced

“Then eat, I am not your servant” Loki scooted closer to the fireplace to stoke the flames and make them rise faster

“You are my husband” Thor told him arrogantly “It is your duty to make me a hearty breakfast”

“I’ll happily make you a hearty breakfast for any wild bears prowling around, Thor” Loki agreed

Thor smirked and rolled his eyes “Fine, I will cook, but if I set something ablaze, it is your fault.”

“Go right ahead” Loki replied smoothly, not a concern in the world on his shoulders.

Thor raised a brow “You’re really going to make me cook?”

“Why not?” Loki asked “Don’t you know how?”

He looked at him and caught Thor thinking of an appropriate response, realizing no, he didn’t know.

“I can roast on a fire” Thor told him “When we hunt”

“Anyone can do that” Loki told him, not really wanting to get up “It makes the meat really dry”

“Not if you do it the right way” Thor told him

Loki seemed to be getting a little color back in his cheeks and Thor leaned over to nudge him with his foot “Come on, up. Or I carry you”

Loki made a face “Why must you torment me?”

“Why must you barter me for your mother?” Thor smiled “I should be offended, I hope you know”

“Are you?” Loki stood in one fluid motion, then stretched “So far I see no signs of it”

“I’m hiding it well” Thor said, openly studying him “You don’t know my true feelings”

“Don’t I?”

Loki knew Thor had stepped closer and kept his stretching, even exaggerated it a little.

“No, you don’t” Thor was right behind him, his heat radiating off his body “If you did, you wouldn’t be here”

“No?”

Loki knew what the man was getting at and hummed, putting his feet apart and bending over to touch his toes.

“Where would I be?”

Thor’s eyes were dark as he looked at Loki’s rear, his hands itching to touch.

Thor was an experienced man, having both male and female lovers over the years. Before he met Freya, he had a long line of people he would lure into his bed with sweet words and promises. He would take them apart, watch them gasp and plea for him before he gave them what they needed and sent them on their way.

He kept the good ones for more than a night or two, wanting to see how far he could go with them.

It wasn’t something he did for the hell of it, Thor genuinely enjoyed not only giving his lovers attention, but also watching them come apart in his arms or because of his hands was fascinating to him.

He chose his future lovers carefully, he was a prince, used to the best in everything in his life. He wanted the best and more often than not, he got it.

And Loki, in his eyes, was so far, one of the best. Every line in his body every movement he had radiated grace.

He loved it, the lithe form, the cheeky attitude, the response Loki did give him. It was like drinking an elixir and then be denied.

And oh, how Thor wanted this elixir.

“You know where you would be” Thor rumbled, looking at his long body, his back, his hair.

Loki hummed and straightened, looking at Thor over his shoulder, not moving away from him.

“Your bed?” Loki whispered, his eyes focused on Thor’s mouth “Enjoying those lips in places I didn’t know lips could be enjoyed?”

“Aye” Thor moved even closer

His body lined up with Loki’s his hands slowly placed themselves lightly on Loki’s hips “That and more”

Loki tried not to shiver and was pleased that he proved to have more control over his body than he previously thought.

“Hmm” Loki hummed “Like what? What can you offer me so that I am convinced that one night in your arms is something I am desperate for?”

“What makes you think I’ll be satisfied with one night?” Thor rumbled, his lips touching Loki’s nape “I have an appetite, Loki, it won’t be sated easily.”

Damn the man, he knew how to get the upper hand in conversations like these.

“An appetite, I have too” Loki whispered “But…”

Thor blinked as Loki easily stepped out of his hold and smiled pleasantly

“But not for you” Loki smirked “I have no wish to be a distraction for you, my prince. I have more purpose than that”

“I never said you were a distraction” Thor walked after him when Loki headed to the kitchen “I merely wish to show that, in our time here, we can have a mutually beneficial relationship. No strings attached”

“You just think me pretty and want me in your bed” Loki told him, getting to work “I know someone else who thinks like that”

“I am not Taneleer” Thor told him firmly “I think you are beautiful, yes, but I will not force you. Someone as stunningly alluring as you needs to enjoy the pleasures of the flesh, not despise them. And for your first time, it should be about you, not your partner, a notion not many share”

“Strong words” Loki set a pot on the stove “Maybe I should take you up on your offer, just to see”

Thor chuckled “You don’t mean that, Loki. You’re mocking me”

“Of course” Loki looked at him “And you are not?”

“I didn’t mock you” Thor said “I –“

“Well, you didn’t flatter me, I can tell you that”

“I’m still trying” Thor smirked “are you nervous? Is that why you refuse?”

“I have many reasons to refuse, nervousness is not one of them” Loki replied

“Tell me one reason then” Thor reached over and played with Loki’s hair a little as he spoke.

“I refuse” Loki told him “For the simple reason that I am not inclined towards you yet. I have a fondness, I will not lie, but I have yet to cross towards more evolved feelings”

“I’m a big boy” Thor smiled “I can handle sex without emotions attached. I actually prefer it”

“What makes you think I would like it?” Loki asked

“Then we add the feeling” Thor asked “Would that satisfy you?”

“Nay,” Loki smiled “Satisfaction is not in my nature”

Thor smirked “And surrender is not in mine. I will get what I want”

“We’ll see” Loki looked directly at him

And there, the challenge was set, they had both taken it.

What remained to be seen was the end result.

***

The challenge, though present, didn’t affect their day too much.

Thor didn’t linger or follow him or press him against walls or furniture to kiss or ravish. It was a companionable sort of existence where each was respectful to the other, not counting the taunting and jests, and lived peacefully.

Thor was actually a nice person to live with. If nothing else, he was constant entertainment, despite his very obvious desire to seduce Loki.

After they had a lovely breakfast, Thor had decided that he wanted to go outside in the snow. The weather allowed it and Olivier had packed much for him. Loki had even set it out for him in a wardrobe and Thor smiled at the luxury of having someone cater to him even here. It was a good feeling.

Loki had sat down with an Aesir book, quick to learn, as he was, the language wasn’t that different from Jotunar. A few phrases were still mispronounced on occasion but Loki had a good grasp on it. Definitely good enough to read the book.

He had settled in firmly into a soft loveseat when he heard heavy footsteps thumping down the stairs. He didn’t look of from the book, but squawked in no graceful manner when Thor tossed a cloak over him.

“Up, ye of little strength” Thor drawled “We are going out in the snow”

He watched a pale hand extend and slowly lower the cloak off Loki’s face as he levelled a dry, unimpressed look at him.

“Why?”

“Why?” Thor repeated, incredulous “Because it is beautiful outside. The snow is white and untouched…”

“And we all know how you wish to ruin untouched things” Loki folded the cloak and stuffed it between him and the seat “I wish to stay here”

Thor smirked at his joke but answered the second part of his declaration “Come, Loki, is this not tempting you?”

“Not at all”

“Impossible” Thor crossed his arms “the weather is perfect for a hike”

“And you are perfect for a snack to other, wilder beasts” Loki went back to his book “Sit down”

Utterly deflated, Thor huffed and removed his cloak slowly, hoping Loki would change his mind. But the green eyed tyrant slave master did nothing of the sort and Thor had to fold the cloak and place it aside, looking longingly out the window.

“Do you want me to get you paper and a quill so you can write a melancholy sonnet?”

“There has to be entertainment here, Loki, Jotunhiem isn’t drab”

“There is” Loki turned a page “It’s called reading”

Thor made a disgusted noise and looked around for something else to occupy his time. There were books everywhere and the house was very well kept. He knew Loki’s magic had a lot to do with it.

“Do you have something that would entertain me?” Thor asked, going to a cabinet “There has to be something in here”

Loki ignored him and went on reading to the background noises of Thor muttering and moving things about. He aware Thor was bored, but between cooking and fixing his room, Loki was disinclined to do more for him right now.

He wanted to read, get lost in the words on the page, live a fantasy life of battles and thrills that only came with…

Loki blinked and looked up when Thor stood directly before him, holding a board in his hands. The dust on the top had been brushed aside with an impatient hand but the label could easily be read.

“Oh no” Loki droned

“Oh yes” Thor beamed “tis my favourite”

“I don’t think we can play this, Thor, we will kill each other” Loki closed his book regardless

“Isn’t it thrilling?” Thor beamed

The next moment, he’d taken hold of Loki’s hand and pulled him out of his loveseat, making him stumble after him as he went to sit on the kitchen table.

“Thor, you have no idea what Tafl does, it’s evil” Loki whined as Thor sat him down and took his own seat “Must we?”

“If you didn’t want to play, you wouldn’t be here” Thor set the board down and started to set the pieces on it carefully.

“You dragged me here”

“You didn’t put up a fight” Thor said, watching his work “Are you afraid of a game of strategy?”

“I am afraid of you flipping the table” Loki told him with a grimace “Besides, we are two pieces short, look”

Loki pointed them out and Thor sighed, looking around. He was not one to give up and Loki watched as he went and unscrewed the lid off a salt shaker and then the top of another container, both small enough to make up for the lost pieces.

“Done” Thor beamed “Now, we play”

“Your excitement scares me” Loki faced the game, his back straight “And since you forced me here, I get the side with all the pieces”

“As you wish” Thor turned the board to give Loki the dark pieces “What are the stakes?”

“Stakes?” Loki asked “We’re betting now?”

Thor shrugged “Makes it interesting, don’t you think?”

“Perhaps” Loki said cautiously “But what kind of stakes?”

“Well” Thor sat back, hands loosely in his lap, legs sprawled casually “How about if I win, you cook for the remainder of our stay”

“Agreed” Loki said “And if I win, I will bring Ruben here”

Thor made a face “Disgusting animal. I will ensure you lose”

“And I will ensure I win” Loki smirked, sitting more comfortably.

The game was easy enough, once they bid over how many moves it would take them to win, they had each other’s kings in sight. Thor barely spoke and Loki realized that his concentration meant that Thor was going to win.

He hadn’t expected it.

Thor was an excellent strategist and picked off Loki’s pieces like a scavenger picking even the hardest meat off a bone.

It was unnerving.

Loki began to talk, hoping that Thor would get distracted but the man only hummed, giving the occasional nod as he collected his even number of men to take down Loki’s King.

Either two or four could surround the King before they took him and Thor had managed to get a good hold of the game.

Loki was losing.

“You really love the sound of your own voice, don’t you?” Thor droned as Loki went on and on about his book, hoping to distract him.

“Aye, very melodious, don’t you think?” Loki smiled, nervously watching Thor plan.

Loki had made a few impulsive moves that had made him lose the game and now resorted to a little…clever tactics … to try and win.

“You know I wish to change a the bet” Loki announced

“Too late for that” Thor told him, picking up his piece and advancing closer with a little click.

“Not really” Loki said “It could make it interesting”

“What do you have in mind?”

“If I lose” Loki announced “you can do whatever you want to me. I will willingly consent”

Suddenly, the air became too hard to take in and the tension between them was palpable. Thor’s sharp blue eyes locked with his, for just a moment and Loki felt his confident smile slip off his face when Thor removed his hand.

“I accept” he said, exposing his game

Loki’s last ditch attempt failed, right before his eyes as he saw not only his king, but the few remaining pieces all surrounded by Thor’s army.

It was Loki’s turn and he looked, trying to find a way to get out of this. If he sacrificed two of his pawns, taking Thor’s, it could give him a chance to escape, but he wasn’t foolish enough to thing Thor hadn’t already thought of that.

Perhaps he should have focused on the game and not cheating earlier.

Loki huffed “It’s a ridiculous game”

Thor smiled slowly and Loki longed to punch him.

“Are you going back on your word?” Thor asked, not a hint of displeasure on his face

“Nay, I am saying it’s stupid” Loki looked at the board “Clearly, you cheated”

“I cheated?” Thor laughed softly “How? When?”

“When – When you…”

“Tell you what” Thor sat back “We go back a few moves and I will let you try again”

“I’m already bored of this” Loki told him

“And if you still lose” Thor smirked “Then you will accept defeat with grace”

“I would rather eat my own hand”

Thor blinked “That’s disgusting, why would you say that?”

“Because that is preferable to defeat” Loki shifted in his seat and started rearranging the pieces “Let’s start over. This time, we don’t talk and we don’t distract”

“And we set the terms before, no changing them in the middle” Thor helped him.

“Aye” Loki said.

As Thor worked, Loki thought about the game rather than winning.

“How about we don’t decide the stakes till the game ends?” Loki suggested

Thor shrugged “I’m fine with that.”

They set their game up and sat back, once more, letting Loki start.

Loki started out well, taking more of Thor’s pieces than the man had taken of his. But as he went ahead, Thor noted that he became careless, possibly arrogant with his winning streak to back him up.

He didn’t know that Thor was letting him win for now.

That he was going to attack him when Loki least expected and then set the same condition that Loki had.

That Thor would be able to do anything to him and Loki would consent.

And oh, how many scenarios went through Thor’s head as he slowly advanced on the game, trapping Loki’s king’s an hour into it.

By this time, Loki seemed to have guessed it too and the smile, which had been pasted on his face the entire time, slowly started to slip off and his face took on a worried expression, his brow furrowed as he thought a strategy against a seasoned battle veteran.

There was no way for him to win, no matter where Loki moved, Thor was closing in on him from both sides. The prince was smirking, confidence and arrogance in every move he made.

And Loki was getting a slightly frantic look in his eyes. He was about to lose and badly.

He even tried to speak but held himself back, opting to think more than anything.

Thor let out a quiet chuckle and stood “Think on that while I get myself a snack”

He ruffled Loki’s hair as he passed but the younger man barely noticed, hunched over the board as he thought about how to get out of this predicament.

Thor had surrounded his king on four sides, again.

Two on one side, two on the other and six on the remaining side. There was no way Loki was getting out of it. Thor poured himself some milk and went to look for crackers when he heard Loki made a soft move.

He looked over his shoulder and saw him reach over and silently topple his king without a word.

“Oh, don’t be like that” Thor said, smiling when Loki crossed his arms in frustration and looked away “It’s a game, nothing else”

“A game you won”

Ah, Loki was not a good loser.

“Well, if you think about it” Thor waited by the stove as he waited for the milk to simmer “It’s only because I am a battle happy idiot that I won”

He wanted Loki to smile, but his lips remained tight and he glared at the board, rethinking his every move. Thor could almost see his brain replaying it over and over.

He knew he was a brilliant man when it came to games like these, Loki would never find a way to win against him.

The Jotun hummed and slowly started to gather the game up to pack.

“Alright, what is your demand?” Loki asked, almost sullenly.

“You look like you want to kill me” Thor told him “So why don’t we forget that?”

Loki sighed “No, tell me what you want, Thor, get this over with”

Oi, this was one sensitive sore loser, Thor huffed, then smiled “Alright. Here is my demand”

He saw Loki stiffen and look anywhere but at him.

“Cook me an excellent lunch” Thor turned when he heard the milk simmer and poured it into two mugs “Then a dinner, then every meal after. And you play at least three games I want to, including but not restricted to, outside”

Loki hid his relief in disgust and made a show of it.

“Why do you like the outside so much?” Loki asked, though there was little heat in it this time “It’s … cold”

“As your milk will be if you don’t finish” Thor came over to set it before Loki “Sugar? Or do you just want to dip your finger in it to make it sweeter?”

He winked at Loki as the man gave him a look filled with disdain that Thor only laughed at. He set his crackers before him and ruffled his hair.

“Have a good time cooking, loser”

Loki batted his hand away and hissed – reminding Thor of Ruben – at him “Get away!”

Thor snickered as he sauntered off, going to the fireplace to enjoy his own milk and crackers.

***

Loki, the poor man, realized soon enough that Thor _had_ to be let outside because he was like a dog when it came to energy. It came from an endless supply and became louder with each passing second. The man explored the house twice, pulled out two more board games that they would play after dinner and gotten more wood for the fire.

And yet, he wasn’t done.

Loki was almost done with cooking lunch when Thor, who had been sitting and playing around with cutlery and tableware, suddenly burst into song, nearly scaring Loki half to helhiem.

“ _Did you ever know that you’re my hero_?” Thor sang, loud, obnoxious on purpose, playing a tune on the table with his large, obnoxious hands “ _And everything I wish I could be_ …?”

“Thor, I will stab you” Loki hissed

“ _I can fly like an eagle_ ” Thor continued “ _For you are the wind beneath my wings…_ ”

“You have a horrible voice” Loki stirred the pot “Be silent and set the table”

Thor smiled and stood, whistling another song. It was better in the sense that he wasn’t turning Loki deaf, but Loki wouldn’t admit.

“Why must you be so annoying?” Loki asked “I thought you were a prince. They are elegant people”

“ _I’m friends with the monster that’s under my bed…”_ Thor all but yelled “ _Get along with the voices inside of my head_!”

“Alright, out!” Loki spun around and snatched the things Thor had in his hands, placing them on  the closest table “You have lost the right to be here”

“Loki, alright!” Thor laughed as Loki spun him around and pushed him to the door “I’ll be silent!”

“No, out!”

Loki shoved him out and slammed the door to the kitchen shut. He could hear Thor outside, snickering.

“Loki, alright, I won’t sing anymore” he whined.

Whined, yes, like a dog.

“No, my ears are bleeding”

Thor barked in laughter before knocking once on the door again.

“Please” he said “I swear I will be quiet, I won’t make a noise”

“I can’t hear you now, my ears are ringing” Loki scolded, but he was smiling “I would prefer you to be a silent, angry, brooding man rather than this happy, open, excited creature, you know”

It was a joke, clearly delivered, but Loki heard no laughter. In fact, he even felt his smile fade off after a few long seconds where only silence greeted his jest.

He was about to call him when Thor spoke

“Do you, really?” Thor asked softly “Is that true?”

For a second, Loki didn’t know what to say. It had been a joke, of course, but Thor’s question stopped him short.

He sighed and opened the door, looking up to see Thor standing close, possibly having been leaning on the door before Loki opened it.

His eyes were losing the shine they had, when Loki thought he was annoying and for some reason, it hurt.

Loki smiled at him “Of course not. I like the boundless sort of energy you have”

“Boundless sort of energy?” Thor smirked “you think me a dog?”

He moved past Loki into the kitchen, missing the amused look on Loki’s face as he went straight to the stove. He lifted the pot and took a deep whiff of whatever was inside. He approved, clearly because he reached for the spoon Loki was stirring with and dipped it inside, clearly intending on licking the spoon clean as he went to take his place on the table.

“You know I was using that” Loki said, arms crossed, hip cocked as he pretended to be annoyed with Thor

“I know, makes the food even better” Thor beamed, blowing over the spoon and taking a gentle lick.

Loki scoffed and rolled his eyes and went to get another spoon “You’re incorrigible”

“Thank you” Thor smiled at him as he enjoyed his stolen morsel “This is good”

Loki hummed “Of course it is, this is a family recipe”

“Is it now?” Thor asked, licking the spoon clean

“Yes, my mother and father made this when I was a child” he said, feeling Thor approach “then mother taught me – no, Thor, don’t put it in again!”

Thor who was trying to do just that, hissed when Loki took it from him and placed it aside “I’m hungry”

“It isn’t done” Loki insisted

“It’s good enough” Thor whined, trying to move to the other side but Loki blocked him “Loki…”

“Here”

Thor growled in mild irritating at his attempts being thwarted when Loki went and picked up the box of crackers placed in a cabinet.

“Feast, go crazy you impatient child” Loki handed them to him “cream and cheese is in the pantry. Lunch will be ready in half an hour”

“Half an hour?” Thor gaped “What are you making?”

Loki went back to the stove “I am making Whatever the Hell I Want with a delicious side of Eat it or Starve. Now hush”

Thor laughed softly and shook his head, going to sit on the table again. He had the crackers slowly, nibbling on them slowly as he watched Loki.

“You never told me about your family, Loki” Thor said after a while “You’re an only child?”

“Aye” Loki said “My father was a knight at King Laufey’s table, my mother was a chamber maid at the palace. I had a good life”

“It must have been” Thor smiled “What – I mean where is your father?”

Loki inhaled deeply, slowly, and Thor could have touched the pain that came from him.

“He – He died” Loki said softly, mostly because Thor would hear the hitch in his voice “One of the other knights tried to kill the King after an argument. He leapt over the table and went right for King Laufey. My father intercepted and … and the knight hit him in the chest with his mace, he … he died instantly, we were told”

Thor closed his eyes in pain, a frown on his brow “Loki-“

“I remember that day clearly, you know” Loki continued stirring softly “We were setting up dinner, I was – nine, I think – and so excited to go into my father’s arms”

“Oh norns” Thor whispered.

“I saw the knights coming over, all of them and I remember thinking that something was wrong, that this shouldn’t happen, they never came over” Loki told him “I ran out before Mother could stop me and – and there he was, on a cart. They covered him with his cape, his shield and blade were with him, still. They told us what happened and…”

Loki sighed deeply and shook his head “The only good thing was that they hung the night in the town square. It did nothing, though, it wouldn’t bring my father back, would it?”

“Loki…”

“The King even gave us a huge sum of money” Loki told him “We bought our house and even now we have some of it in the treasury but none of it would bring him back. No one seems to think that way, though, they want me to be grateful to the King when in truth I hate him for trusting my father and making him give his life for him, I hate him.”

Loki didn’t realize there were tears in his eyes or that his hands were shaking until two big, warm hands rested on his own from behind. Loki startled and turned to see Thor behind him and frowned.

“What-“ he broke off when Thor turned him around and pulled him into his arms.

A thousand things went through his mind, a thousand answers and replies and all, he wanted to push him away but he held on, Thor held on and Loki felt his hands, which were trapped between them, clutch as Thor’s clothes.

Thor let out a soothing noise and Loki closed his eyes, letting Thor guide his head to his large shoulder. The tears came faster than Loki wanted and though he didn’t cry, they didn’t cease.

“I’m here” Thor said, kissing his head “It’s alright”

Loki felt his hand rub circles on his back and he sniffed.

“Why?” he whispered “Why did he have to be so noble? Why did he give his life for – for a King when I was right there, when I needed him more than stupid King Laufey?”

Thor felt prickling behind his lids as his own thoughts, from years ago came to him “I don’t know, Loki.”

“I hate him” Loki’s voice was thick “I hate him for choosing them over me, I hate him”

Thor’s eyes widened a moment when he realized Loki was talking about his father.

“No, don’t you say that” Thor pulled him back just enough to look into his watery eyes “Don’t you say that. Don’t you hate him, Loki, you understand? You can’t control these things, he couldn’t control it, he didn’t choose anyone over you, he was a hero, a good man and you cannot let that be overcome by hate”

“He left me”

“He didn’t have a choice”

Loki frowned a little and Thor realized his own eyes were shining with tears.

“You hear me?” Thor gave him a shake “They don’t have a choice. You think he wanted to leave you? You were his son, you think he wanted to take that protection off your head? No, he wanted to come home, have dinner with you, talk to you, love you and your mother that is what he wanted. He didn’t choose this, he didn’t want this, Loki”

Loki blinked and two tears slipped down his cheeks. He looked at the ground in shame and Thor pulled him into his arms again.

He took his comfort and closed his eyes as Thor whispering soothing words and rubbing his back.

His hands, still clenched in Thor’s clothes, stopped their shaking and fell into the warmth that was Thor.

Just like Loki.

***

“This is wonderful, well worth the wait”

Thor’s voice broke the silence that had encased them within itself ever since Loki’s breakdown. The young man had been ashamed and Thor had been hesitant to ask him anything else that would get him a reaction like that again.

It had been painful for him, too.

Everything Loki said, struck a nerve with Thor, his own thought about losing Gaia were mirrored by Loki, that was why it was painful for him, too.

After Loki had calmed, Thor had behaved himself well enough and even set the table without being prompted. He poured them nice glasses of the wine he found and watch Loki take a single nervous sip and placing it aside.

He hadn’t touched it since and Thor felt that the younger man was perhaps embarrassed.

It was confirmed when Loki didn’t raise his eyes to look at Thor even once through the entirety of their meal.

So, desperate for conversation, and to cut the tension, Thor smiled at Loki and told him his cooking was excellent.

“I should beat you at board games more” Thor beamed

Loki smirked, but it didn’t reach his eyes “Maybe. Maybe, I let you win”

Thor barked in laughter “Ha! Ha! I will do it again. Ha!”

This time, Loki smiled and it did start to warm his eyes. When Thor had started noticing that, he didn’t know.

“You will never beat me” Thor told him “You looked so sour and put out, I feel like a king”

“Weak be the king whose ego is fuelled by arrogance and petty victory” Loki quoted an Asgardian metaphor

“Ah,” Thor beamed “Very cleverly said, dear Loki, but you forget the second part of that phrase. It goes ‘ _Weak be the king whose ego is fuelled by arrogance and petty victory, but strong is the king who fortifies his rule with veritable triumph’_.”

Loki raised a brow “It’s basically the same thing. Asgardians cannot make good proverbs”

“Oh?” Thor challenged “Jotun ones are better?”

“Of course!” Loki sat up straighter “Take this, for example ‘ A snowstorm a day keeps the Aesir away’”

“A snow storm-“ Thor laughed “Is that true?”

“No, I made it up” Loki told him “Still better than what you said. Is everything about Asgardians related to battle?”

“Nay” Thor grinned, suddenly slightly lecherous looking “ _True poetry is a naked woman and a naked man and the distance between them’_ ”

Loki felt his face heat up and he looked at Thor a little morbidly, making the other chuckle.

“Another says ‘Sex is a most potent weapon to both frighten and fascinate’”

Loki gave him a dry sort of look, impassive and calculating, shaking his head. “Is that all you think about? War and sex?”

Thor scoffed “Of course not, I know many others. But are Jotuns different? I know a famous Jotun proverb that boasts about a man’s size when he is…”

“I didn’t say that” Loki cut in, he knew that phrase well “I am saying that there are many other things we write about, talk about and you seem focused on battle and sex”

“Not really” Thor smiled slowly “I know them because they are my favourite things”

Loki all but groaned and slammed his head on the table.

“You are hopeless”

“Aye, but you like it” Thor went back to dinner “I do know nicer ones, like … ‘ _He who does after two deer catches none’_ ”

Loki liked that one “That’s a good one. We say ‘ _Expect poison from stagnant waters’_ ”

“Clever” Thor beamed “how about this ‘ _No one is deaf other than he who refuses to listen_ ’?”

“Lovely” Loki smiled “’ _He who wants things to love, will never love the things he has’_ ”

“I like it” Thor smiled

They spent the rest of their lunch similarly, telling each other these proverbs and sharing their various cultures and stories.

It was a fun experience and afterwards, Thor found himself having crackers and tea before the fireplace. Loki was once more reading, often reading out funny or interesting things to Thor.

The prince was on his third box when Loki closed his book.

“How can you eat so much?” he asked “We just had lunch”

“Easily” Thor looked at him as he nibbled on the corner of a cracker, laying flat on his back “I’m bored”

Loki’s brows rose and he smirked “Do you want me to take you for a walk?”

Thor narrowed his eyes at him, unimpressed and Loki snickered, then stood “Alright, then. Let’s get our cloaks. I can take you to a lovely tavern here. Come on”

He got up and stretched and Thor was only too eager to join with a mumbled ‘finally!’

Choosing to ignore it, Loki went to get dressed and prepped, taking with him a few coins from the bag Odin had given him.

To be spent on Thor, he’d said. Aye, Loki was spending on the spoiled prince, alright.

Taking him out on a walk to the nearest tavern and possibly getting him incredibly drunk, too.

Not on purpose, of course, but perhaps an indulgence would be something unavoidable as far as Thor was concerned.

Loki hoped not, but he had a feeling that he was right.

***

Loki hated being right.

They had entered a tavern that at a town at the foot of the mountains. With his magic, it had taken them but a moment to reach the bottom and barely another for them to reach the entrance of the town.

Loki wasn’t that well known here, at least not by the general populace. The tavern owner and a few authority members did know and as far as Loki was aware, didn’t hate him. The night was cold and it was the weekly holiday of the residents, as per the laws of the kingdom, so they were crowded.

He kept Thor close, had to place an arm around his shoulders to guide him since Thor was mesmerized by the world around him.

It was night, Jotunhiem was a land were magic dwellers made life easier and this town was no exception. Small as it was, it was breath-taking.

The  moment they stepped through the town gates, the snow vanished from beneath their feet, replaced by warm earth. There were patches of snow around, mostly in open areas, lots of them left for the children to play in.

There was a beautiful, dim and warm light all over, with no real source. When Thor looked, he discovered a huge crystal and ice globe floating high above the city, illuminating it. He stopped of his own violation and looked, his mouth agape when snowflakes glowed gold, not white.

It was unbelievable and he almost got trampled by a stampede of children, Loki was quick to save him from them. But, be as careful as he was, Thor felt the boot of a small girl catch in his and he turned in time to see her fall hard.

Immediately, Thor moved to pick her up and she looked at him, whimpering before he set her down.

“There, darling” Thor, prince of Asgard and future king, crouched by her and dusted her clothes “I’m so sorry, dear, I didn’t see”

She looked at him, balefully for a few seconds and Loki sighed.

“Alright, little child” he shoed her away “Off, you go, let the big man go”

The girl looked at him, offended, but Loki simply pulled a stuttering, muttering Thor away from her and led him ahead.

“Loki, she fell!” Thor protested, looking behind him as Loki dragged him off “She-“

“She’s fine, walking and all” Loki said “not every single child that falls needs a prince to pick them up. Little brat, did you see her glare?”

Thor smirked “Ah, she was glaring at you, wasn’t she?”

“Aye, the brat” Loki huffed

Thor tried not to laugh, but till they reached the tavern, a smile played on his lips and Loki remained unamused.

The music wafted through the doors the moment they opened and Loki kept an iron grip on Thor. The tavern was filled with people, men women, young and – old!?

Thor gaped when he saw an elderly Jotun couple seating on the sides, then another and another until he saw that an entire side was dedicated to them, made into a stylish restaurant. There was a floor for dancing and on the other side was a large, wall to wall bar counter across the hall. It was beautiful and Loki caught Thor gaping at it openly.

“This is…”

“Remarkable for us uncivilized people?” Loki cut in

Thor shook his head “No, it’s amazing. I love it”

“Then allow me” Loki told him, pulling him towards the bar “To point you to a drink you will never forget”

Thor obeyed and Loki realized he’d made his first mistake then; offering Thor alcohol.

Seven drinks and three coins later, Thor was on the dance floor, the music loud and jolly as he was cheered on.

Loki had hidden himself quickly enough and now peeked at him over the edge of the wooden beam that hit him and saved himself from second hand embarrassment. The cheers started to rise higher and eventually, Loki looked at Thor, after about ten solid minutes of him dancing.

And oh, what a sight he saw.

His hand, which held his martini in a beautiful green glass, almost fell to the ground as he saw him.

Never had he expected such grace from a man of Thor’s girth and weight.

He moved like ribbons in the wind; flawless. His hair, long since freed from the confines of his cowl, flew behind him, his face was tipped up and his arms moved with the music as he spun, spun with all the glory of gold.

He had the people around him caught in the tension of his dance as he painted spirals over the floor with his feet. He floated, he moved like he was on water, he glided above them.

He was magnificent.

And Loki couldn’t take his eyes off him. Thor was immersed in his dance, taken by it, living it. Everyone was watching the glorious performance and Loki couldn’t look away.

Loki couldn’t – wouldn’t dance, though for the first time in a long time, his body craved it. He’d been a splendid dancer and had it not been tainted, he would have given into the impulse and danced with Thor.

What beauty Thor created with every move, a traditional warrior’s dance of spinning and leaps, graceful and beautiful, his arms moved within their own story and Loki was as mesmerized as the rest.

And had it not been for the music, the dance and the noise, Loki would have heard him. The rush of people pressed against him before he did and Loki gasped when someone spun him around and pinned him against the beam.

His blood turned cold when he saw Svadilfari looking at him, his expression furious. The man looked gaunt, his hair was a mess, his eyes looked insane and he was drunk, very drunk.

His hands held Loki tight and Loki tensed his body, trying to get him off, trying to struggle but Svadilfari didn’t let him.

Over the music, Loki couldn’t hear him, but Svadilfari lowered his head and Loki choked when he felt his lips at his ear.

Whispering …

His world started to spin and Loki began losing consciousness, but only just. He was aware of what happened, how his body went limp, how someone lifted him and carried him away, he heard the music slow down, heard the cheers of the people around Thor and heard the tavern fade away into the background.

Then they were outside and Loki was placed on the warm ground. They were in a dark place and he tried to move, managing only to get enough coherence, lift a hand to move Svadilfari’s hands off him.

“Stop…”

Svadilfari hissed and grabbed his face, yanking him a little into consciousness, but leaving him powerless against the spell.

“You” Svadilfari hissed “You listen to me…tell Thor to call off the hunt on me. Tell him to leave me alone, you understand? When he finds you, you tell him, convince him, do whatever you have to otherwise, this is going to get worse”

His hands fell to Loki’s attire and he started undoing it.

For a second, Loki frowned, not understanding, then he went pale.

“N-No…”

His face turned horrified and he truly began to struggle “No!”

“Shut up, whore! You were mine before he enjoyed you!” Svadilfari slapped him hard across the face and Loki whined, then groaned when he slammed his head back against the ground “I did so much, paid so much, did anything I could to get money and he is not taking my property from me!”

“Stop it!” Loki lashed out and scratched his face, true horror etched on his features “Get off!”

This was him.

Svadilfari was the one who wanted to buy him, who turned him into what he was, he was responsible!

Svadilfari growled and hit him again, then again and got a pained yelp and sob from Loki when he hit him a fourth time. When Loki looked dazed, Svadilfari undid his cloak and tossed it aside before he once more made to pick him up and take him away, wanting to leave his heavy cloak here as a taunt for Thor.

He wanted him to know he could have saved Loki, he didn’t. He could have saved Balder, he didn’t.

The pain would be enough.

He had thrown Loki over his shoulder and turned around when he froze.

The door he’d carried Loki out of was slowly closing and before it, in all his anger and glory, stood Thor. His blue eyes seemed to glow and thunder started in the distance, in the skies above them, in Thor’s own eyes.

Svadilfari felt his victory, his desire to mock and any superiority he felt seep from him like water, sliding away from him. In his arms, Loki stirred and moaned. The sound made clench his hand.

“Drop him” Thor rasped “Now”

Svadilfari frowned and took a step back, looking to move into the darkness.

“Stop!” Thor commanded

Svadilfari was suddenly cloaked in darkness and Thor ran after him, ready to kill, to murder as he moved to chase him through the streets.

But he’d barely taken a step into the dark when his foot collided hard with something and he heard a pained grunt. He looked to see Loki curled up, left there callously by Svadilfari in his bid to escape.

For a moment, Thor was torn, he was desperate to get to Svadilfari and desperate to help Loki. Thunder rumbled above them and growling, Thor crouched by Loki.

Thor’s heart faltered when Loki looked up at him, half his face illuminated by the light, bloody and dazed.

“Bastard…” Thor whispered, controlling his rage

He looked to where Svadilfari had vanished, swearing revenge, then looked to Loki.

“Come on” Thor whispered, carefully sliding his hands under Loki “Easy does it, put your arms around my neck”

Loki slowly obeyed and Thor hissed at the damage done.

“Don’t worry, Loki” Thor told him as he straightened “He won’t escape me again”

Loki said nothing and Thor feared his damage exceeded the visible marks on his face.

***

Loki hissed and pulled back, the stinging spreading everywhere when the antiseptic liquid was applied to the cut.

“Forgive me”

Thor mumbled the apology and set the ball of cotton down, placing a hand behind Loki’s neck and leaning in to blow cool air over the injury to cool it.

Loki had his eyes closed and his mind was in shambles, otherwise he would have realized how the touch of Thor’s hand was comforting and how he leaned over to press against the Prince when he finished patching up his face.

Three times.

This was the third time Loki had been hurt by Svadilfari.

He didn’t think he would ever be brave enough to fight him. In his head, he’d pushed through that spell, in his head, he’d beaten the man, not had Thor rescue him. In his head, he’d done a thousand and one things to him, but in truth, he did nothing.

Reality was a crippling and Loki closed his eyes, rubbing his cheek against Thor’s tunic. He felt the man’s hand on the back of his head, stroking his hair in comfort.

They were in the kitchen, Loki was seated on the dining table, the first aid kit and supplies were right next to him. Thor had immediately cleaned and patched him up and was relieved that there was no need for stitches. The wounds will hurt and norns Loki would be sore for a while, but he was going to be fine.

Or so he hoped. He’d been so silent since they got back, it worried Thor.

“Are you afraid of him?” Thor asked very softly.

Loki didn’t answer immediately, Thor felt him take a deep breath before he replied.

“No” the single word was heavy with grief and pain

“Then what happened?” Thor’s voice was still soft

Loki swallowed heavily and lifted his head, moving away from Thor in the sense that he sat up straighter and looked aside. His words, when they were spoken, burned Thor’s rage further.

“He’s the one who commissioned me” Loki whispered to him “It was him all along, it’s why he hated me so much…”

Thor’s lips pressed together in anger and he exhaled.

“Loki” he said gently, reaching over and making him look back “you don’t belong to him”

“Don’t I?” Loki asked, his voice nearly dead “He does whatever he wants to me. I don’t fight”

“Because he isn’t fighting fair” Thor told him “He fought unfairly with you and with Balder. He will suffer for both, I assure you”

Loki looked at him sadly, then shook his head “It’s because I am weak”

“No, it’s not” Thor gave him a little shake “Self-pity suits you ill, Loki. You are not weak, understand?”

Loki looked at the ground and Thor sighed, brushing his hair back.

“Come, off the table” Thor told him “I will cook for us tonight”

Loki made a face “I’d rather eat rocks”

Thor raised his brows at him “You know what, Jotun…?”

“What?” Loki tipped his chin up

Thor smirked and reached behind Loki’s head to affectionately give his hair a tug. “Watch it”

He pat Loki’s back and stepped away to clear up.

“Go sleep,” Thor told him “I will have a nice surprise for you later on”

He nudged Loki aside as he picked up the bloody cotton and other items left about. Loki thought about helping but his face was tender and sore, so he obeyed and headed up to doze off.

He couldn’t, really, he kept having strange dreams of thunder and all, but he was out of it when a gentle touch landed upon his face.

For a second, Loki was confused, the touch was small, soft and furry, then he heard the meow.

The loud, flat meow that only one animal could make.

Loki gasped and opened his eyes to see Ruben sitting before him on the bed. When he saw Loki’s eyes open, the cat immediately started to purr and curled under Loki. It was so comforting and Loki felt calm all over.

He held the cat and started to drift off again, never noticing the way Thor observed him, nor did he see the way he smirked at the menace he’d brought in.

He had a letter in his hand, too, for him and Loki, sent here with the cat, sent by Odin.

He’d already read it, it was a paper basically informing them that Ladies Sif and Amora had returned to Asgard and that Odin will form a bigger search party to look for Lady Farbauti.

And why – Thor had asked himself – because Odin had also told them that Loki’s plan, though ill met with him, had worked.

People were getting satisfied with Thor’s ‘punishment’ and though Odin was reluctant, he accepted that Loki had been right about the sadistic nature of his own people. It was a sad sort of truth, however.

It hurt him, at a great level, knowing that the people he protected were so eager to hurt him. But then again, his mistake had been terrible, so the feeling was a hard but acceptable truth so far.

And Thor realized he could probably live with that easily enough.

***

“You think you’re impressive?” Thor’s voice reached Loki as he went downstairs, looking for Ruben “I can show you something you can’t believe”

Loki raised a brow and went to the living room, expecting Thor to be talking to a – well, he didn’t really know. But he didn’t expect Thor to be addressing the cat Loki owned or sitting cross legged on the floor before it.

Ruben, for his part, was utterly mesmerised by what Thor was doing and Loki frowned, too. There was a deep dish, match sticks, a bottle of spirit and cotton before Thor. Loki had no idea what he was about to do and walked over.

“Morning” Thor beamed at him the second he saw him “Sit, I am about to show your brat something wonderful”

“He can hardly wait” Loki droned as he came to pick Ruben up, feeling him start purring instantly “What are you doing?”

Thor smiled and gathered his things “Go sit on the couch, I will show you”

Loki furrowed his brow but said nothing, going to sit down and watch Thor set the things on the coffee table.

“You’re going to kill yourself” Loki told him when Thor dipped a ball of cotton into the spirit “I can’t heal you”

“Ah, tiny Jotun” Thor didn’t look up from his work “You have yet to see this. It will surpass your paltry tricks”

“I see” Loki nodded “Proceed”

Thor did, his concentration slowly going to what he was doing.

He held the cotton in his fingers and squeezed the excess out into the dish before he set the thing into it once more. Then, he wiped his fingers, picked up the matches and lit the spirit soaked cotton ball.

Loki’s eyes widened at the green and blues, stunning flame that erupted and Thor smiled, his eyes focused on it, rubbing his hands together.

“I learned early on in my life” Thor spoke softly, reaching over to wave his hand over the flame “That my power makes me able to do things other cannot. This was one of the things I loved doing as a child and became an expert at. It’s won me the hearts of many a people when I have travelled”

“What?” Loki smirked “Waving your hand over fire like our under developed ancestors did?”

Thor’s lips twitched and he chuckled “Something like that”

It confused Loki a little, but he watched. Then he felt his eyes widen.

Thor reached over and scooped up the flame the second it turned blue. Loki gasped as it burned in his hand, over his skin, not burning him or touching him at all. Thor spun it win his hands, alternating, moving the flame to his palms, then the back of his hands, then towards his wrists.

As he did last night, he stood up gracefully and made the flame spin and twirl over his skin, moving them in airy, delicate movements Loki didn’t think he was capable of.

He even started a dance of his own, slight, bending down, then rising back up, all the while keeping the flame lit over his hands, on his fingers, it danced.

The remainder was still burning and Loki watched in wonder as Thor picked up another, making them waltz together on his skin, to a music Loki could almost hear.

He spun, the flames frisked where he guided them like silk, his large hand making them go where he wanted. He made them dance up one arm, then down the other, moving to the slightest of his commands.

He clapped his hands once and the flames separated, like magic between his fingers, Thor turned them into one large flame, making it leap and jump on his hands.

Loki couldn’t look away, it was stunning, beautiful and something so seductive to him.

It was magic, a talent he didn’t think someone like Thor would have!

They flickered and frizzed on him, but Thor was untouched. The beauty was one of a kind, Loki had never seen.

Then Thor lifted the fire between his thumb and forefinger, like picking up a leaf. He set them carefully on his lips, making Loki’s breath catch on his throat as they settled there for second, then vanished when Thor blew them out.

There was stunned silence after that performance and Loki found himself at a loss for words.

Thor seemed to know and he winked at him and bent to pick everything up to put away. Ruben was still unimpressed and Thor stuck his tongue out at the animal.

“Monster”

Ruben meowed and Loki blinked, brought to reality by that sound.

He saw Thor go to the kitchen and set Ruben aside to go after him.

“Thor, that was amazing” Loki complimented, a little star struck “How did you do that?”

Thor smiled as he tossed the spirit in the sink “Practice. I burned myself when I was younger, possibly around your age, but I learned”

“Where did you learn it from?” Loki asked, walking to stand by him “I have never seen anything like that before”

Thor beamed at him, delighted at Loki’s interest.

“Muspelhiem” he said “I went there a while ago and they taught me that. But I tell you in secret, if father found out I went there, he would kill me”

Loki grinned “I will not. You kept my secret rather than kill me when I told you what happened with Taneleer, I will keep this”

Thor flicked Loki on the nose and went back to work “I would teach this to you if we had time, I really would. And if we didn’t have other, pressing matters on our hands”

“I’m a quick learner” Loki followed Thor, eager and – in Thor’s opinion – adorable “Teach me”

Thor faced him “Do you really want to learn?”

Loki nodded “I do”

“Come here” Thor crooked finger at him to call him closer “Don’t move”

When he didn’t, Thor leaned down and blew a little on Loki’s lips. Instantly, a lick of the blue flame fired by Thor’s breath, nipped at his mouth and Loki gasped, jumping back on instinct, his hands over his lips.

Thor smirked at him, winked, then headed out of the kitchen, whistling. He was proud at having cheered Loki up, even for a little while and make him forget what happened last night.

And Loki’s heart was pounding and he smiled softly as he realized he’d wanted Thor to close the gap between them when he leaned over.


	13. Reunited

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “He’ll be dead soon,” Laufey came to him, drink in hand “Sit and have this, trust me it will help with the upcoming shock”
> 
> Loki frowned, taking the glass automatically “W-What shock?”

“So how exactly did you lose Mjolnir?” Loki asked around a mouthful of thread and pins “And why are you so calm about my plan? I thought you would throw a tantrum of righteous indignation”

They sat in the middle of the living room upstairs, both of them on the floor, amid scattered stitching and sewing items, hemming the ends of a dress.

Aye, _hemming_.

Thor had seen maids at the palace do it, even his mother, never a man. And never a man as graceful as Loki. He made it look so effortless, while Thor knew from finger pricking experience that it wasn’t.

Yet, Loki’s fingers moved over the end of the dress, finishing up the end that couldn’t be done in Asgard. It wasn’t much, but according to Loki, they were the fanciest harlots in the province and needed to look the part.

He’d ignored the look of utter distaste Thor had given him.

It was worse than the one Loki got when he showed Thor the dresses. He had thought Thor would lose his temper or cringe or something.

He’d been very curious as to why Thor had sat down and obeyed Loki when he told him he was to help him hem. He’d been casual about it, hoping Thor would say something but he’s been very mellow.

He even caught Thor playing with Ruben the other day.

Of course, he’d been playing Tafl with the cat and winning, then cheering in the glory of his victory, but it was something Loki hadn’t expected him to do. He was so – different.

And Loki wondered if this was the real Thor or the one he’d been with on Asgard.

He wanted to know but hesitated in asking outright. So, for now, he chose a question he hoped Thor would answer.

It made the prince, who sat beside Loki, holding the edge of the dress straight for Loki to hem, looked at him.

“Oh,” Thor blinked “In a bet with the dwarves. Too much drink, too little thinking, I guess. I wouldn’t be bothered if it hadn’t been too long. I asked Thrym to give it back, offered to pay him…”

Loki scoffed bitterly “He wouldn’t. He enjoys taking pretty things and ruining them”

Thor blinked “Aye, pretty much…”

Loki continued stitching and Thor looked at him for a few seconds, hoping Loki would elaborate a little more but the man only continued his work.

Silence fell again as Loki concentrated on his work and Thor watched him. Ruben was nestled close by and a peaceful atmosphere settled over them.

There was little sound other than the occasional hum from Loki or a muttered order for Thor to hold the cloth straighter, so they were lulled into a state of comfort.

Loki had leaned closer, working over Thor’s arm to get to a certain spot and his hair touched Thor’s face. It smelled so wonderful and Thor couldn’t help but take a gentle sniff.

Loki stilled, just for a second, and Thor thought he would say something but the man simply went back to his work. Thor smiled and went back to work without making a comment.

It was nearly done when he spoke again, startling Loki just a little.

“Have you truly never been in a relationship?” Thor asked “I know you told me you didn’t make friends but I find it hard to believe that you wouldn’t have caught someone’s eye”

Loki smiled a little “I have caught someone’s eye, I just hate everything about him”

For a second, Thor feared Loki was talking about him! But by the snarl on his face and his own delayed understanding of his words, Thor smiled.

“I didn’t mean that monster” Thor furrowed his brow “Or the other one, I meant someone else. Someone you perhaps liked, too”

“What, are we girls now?” Loki gave him a look

“We are hemming dresses” Thor smiled and nodded to Loki’s handiwork “Might as well be”

Loki gave him a dry look that turned amused before he gave in to the smile that curved his lips.

“You have a point there, Prince” Loki looked at his work “But as for your answer, aye, there was someone. They just – weren’t right for me”

“What happened?” Thor asked, nudging him a little “Too intense for you?”

Loki frowned a little and shook his head “Too married for me”

Thor stilled, the mirth slipping from his face “What?”

“Hm.” Loki didn’t look at him “I fell in love and he took advantage of it. Nothing ‘happened’ between us, he was very careful about that, but I felt like he did.”

Thor’s face turned a little sad.

“He did try, however” Loki told him, a little hesitant “I was eager, back then, to be kissed and held. He kissed me, yes, he kissed me everywhere but he never held me. I just thought that is how it was, I didn’t question him, naïve fool that I was”

“What happened?” Thor asked softly “How did you find out?”

“How does anyone find out?” Loki looked at Thor “I tried to surprise him one day, he never took me out, mind you, never in public, so I decided to surprise him at work, he worked at a tavern, manning the bar. I told myself that he would be happy to see me and that this would be our ‘outing’ as it was, so people knew we were together. Foolish, right?”

“No” Thor said nothing else

Loki looked at him for a few seconds, then licked his lips and went back to telling him.

“I walked in and there he was, at the bar,” Loki smiled self derisively “it took me so long to notice her. So long to see her, there, talking to him, laughing, smiling, it didn’t make sense to me for a few minutes, I didn’t understand why they were so close.”

“Then?”

Loki heaved a sigh as he worked “Then he kissed her, cupped her jaw and I saw his wedding ring. I just stood there, shock all over me, until he saw me and went right back to kissing her. I was in love and he couldn’t even stop kissing her”

Thor clicked his tongue “I’m sorry, Loki”

Loki shrugged “It was long ago, I’ve put it behind me”

“Putting it behind you doesn’t hurt any less, trust me” Thor scoffed, looking aside.

Loki gazed at him for a second, then nodded “Lady Freya”

“Aye, her” Thor whispered

When Thor said nothing, Loki asked “You loved her?”

Thor thought about his answer for a minute then looked at him and shook his head once “I was deeply fond of her. She was with me for two years, there were feelings, but I don’t think they were love. They could have been, perhaps”

“But then everything got ruined” Loki whispered

“Aye” Thor exhaled “She was important to me. I felt that, in time, she could have been someone I could spend my life with but I guess that is guilt and wishful thinking, now”

It made Loki frown “Why the guilt? Thor you did nothing”

“I started an affair with her” Thor looked at him “Had I not, she would still be alive”

“An affair takes two, Thor” Loki said firmly “it was her decision as well, just like it was mine with Angrboda.”

He gave a shrug and continued “Thor, sometimes we just – think irrationally. It doesn’t matter or change anything.”

“You? Irrational?” Thor smirked “Impossible”

Loki rolled his eyes and picked up his needle, holding the dress in his hand to finish the last hem.

“Exactly”

Thor watched him work as he finished, then sat back with a grin on his face. It had taken them a total of two hours to do this as best Loki could and Thor suddenly thought the time was gone too soon.

“Congratulations” Loki beamed “You are now a woman”

Thor snorted and shoved him a little, scooting back so Loki could stand.

“Now what? Lunch?” Thor asked

Loki made a face at him as he stretched. Even from below, his disdain from cooking was not lost on Thor.

“Starvation?” Thor pretended to be shocked

Loki huffed “Must you be so dramatic? We go to an inn. They have food there”

“Do they?” Thor stood, wincing at the cracks and pops that enunciated his movement “In Asgard we just eat each other”

Loki hummed and winked at him as he headed out “Sounds like fun, don’t you agree?”

Thor’s eyes widened a little as Loki sauntered off, leaving him with an innuendo and two perfectly hemmed dresses.

***

The inn was back in the city Loki had magicked them to the other day and the rush of the energetic trip was still on Thor when they walked through the doors.

It was like the bi frost, the rush of colours and movement, but where the bi frost took him up, Loki’s magic took all sorts of twists and turns even as Thor felt the earth solid beneath his feet.

It was most unusual and left him a little disoriented, though nothing serious.

This inn was unlike the tavern. There were families and single people, aye, but the entire floor was a large restaurant and lounge combined. The ceiling to floor windows let in beautiful snow white light and the patrons enjoyed a stunning view of the clouds through a skylight. Brightly lit and open, Thor liked this instantly.

He even let Loki hold his hand and guide him around as he looked at everything. Making their way through the rush, Loki took him to a balcony that covered the kitchen entrance and give a view of the patrons and first floor.

“Stunned?” Loki asked “I was too, this place is marvellous”

“Expensive, too, no doubt” Thor told him “You must stop spoiling me”

Loki snickered “I have the funds, so it’s nothing”

Odin was paying for this, Loki added in his head, but kept his mouth shut. He did take the menu from a server, however, and waited for Thor to open his own.

“So,” Loki hummed “what looks good?”

“Boar” Thor’s eyes all but glittered “Let’s share one”

“No, no” Loki raised a hand “I let you take me out, decide what I want and now, I will return the favour”

He snapped up Thor’s menu and ordered in quick Jotun that Thor was really unable to catch. He worried, but he could stomach anything so he let it slide this time.

“What did you order?” Thor asked

“Delicious food” Loki crossed his arms on the table “Relax, you will enjoy it”

“I do hope so” Thor looked around “If the food is anything like this place, I am sure to”

Loki smirked and played a little with the fork next to him.

This place was beautiful and the jewel of this tiny city. He’d come here more than once, mostly when he was alone, so he could admire everything.

“At night, they have a replica of the moon floating where the skylight is” Loki told Thor, smiling at the wonder in his eyes “And snowflakes slowly float about, making it very romantic”

“Sounds amazing” Thor told him “How many times have you been here?”

Loki shrugged “A couple of times. Though, this is the first time I brought someone with me”

“I am honoured, then” Thor placed a hand over his heart “that I was the one”

Loki snorted and shook his head “You cannot…”

Thor frowned, when Loki broke off all of a sudden, his face turning pale. The prince made to turn and see what Loki was looking at but his wrist was suddenly grabbed in a vice like grip, Loki’s fingers cold.

“Don’t turn” Loki told him tersely “H-He’s here. He hasn’t seen us, but it’s _him_ ”

Thor felt anger bubble within him and he put his own hand over Loki’s “Look at me, don’t look at him”

Loki, did, but only for a second, then went back to looking at Taneleer.

There was no mistake of who he was, his silver eyes were trained on a rich looking man, his disgusting lips smiling as he spoke.

There was a bag next to him, no doubt the fee for his next ware and it made Loki sick.

“I need to get out of here” Loki whispered, trying to move “Thor, release my hand”

“No, sit” Thor held him tighter “Loki, listen to me”

Thor’s harsh rasp made Loki look at him and Thor saw the fear in his eyes.

“He won’t do anything” Thor told him “He’s likely already seen you, if he wanted to do something, he would have. Just sit down, don’t pay attention to him, it’s what he wants”

Loki swallowed heavily and nodded, seating himself again “Sorry”

“Don’t be sorry, look at me, here”

Loki blinked when Thor placed a hand beneath his chin and made him face him.

“Look at my eyes” Thor told him “Don’t look elsewhere, look at me and keep talking. Ask me questions, anything that comes to mind”

Nothing came to Loki’s mind but Taneleer, the monster, his hands, the man who was holding his mother hostage.

“Calm yourself” Thor stroked his jaw with his thumb “Just think of something else”

“Like what?” Loki whispered

“Ruben, me, anything else but him” Thor told him “He is not worth polluting your thoughts”

Loki looked at Thor for a few seconds and in those few, barely there seconds, Thor saw a vulnerability there and fear.

At the sight of Taneleer, it made Thor want to twist that man’s neck and toss him in a river of sea monsters.

He truly hated him.

“You used to sleep in your parent’s bed till you were eleven because of nightmares”

Thor blinked a few times, not understanding what Loki had said, then his eyes widened.

“What?” he whispered “How did you know that?”

“Elder Queen Bestla” Loki told him, no teasing in his eyes, just a desperate attempt at doing what Thor wanted “When I was in her parlour and she thought us together she told me a lot of things”

“Oh good gods” Thor whispered, impending doom upon him “What did she tell you?”

“You drank yourself sick when you were fourteen” Loki told him “She found you collapsed after one glass of your Father’s vodka”

“It was two…!” Thor broke off his indignant protest and breathed out “It was elven vodka, it was terrible”

A flicker of a smile worked over Loki’s lips and Thor ducked his head.

“She told you about the horse, didn’t she?”

Loki nodded ruefully “I am afraid so”

“That woman has no filter” Thor groaned “What else?”

Loki told him nearly every embarrassing thing that happened in his life and Thor ended up red in the face with little to no dignity left.

“I’ll strangle her” Thor growled after twenty minutes “Her memory is dependent on how many times she can embarrass me”

Loki smirked “I doubt it. I think she keeps them close to her because she misses you”

“Aye?” Thor asked “What makes you say that?”

Loki flicked the end of the basket of bread that came before their meal, “They all miss you. They just don’t say it”

“They don’t miss me” Thor told him “They tolerate me”

Loki stared “Are you serious? Thor, they love you so much, your father…”

“Can we talk about something else?” Thor picked up his water “Please?”

Loki sighed and for a second he looked put out, but then he nodded “Tell me of your travels”

That, Thor could do and he sat back, not releasing Loki’s hand, however.

“Well, once I tricked a dwarf into giving me a great weapon in exchange for a rock” Thor told him, a smile on his face “He probably rues me to this day”

“What was the weapon?” Loki asked

“A battle axe” Thor smiled “He later attacked me, left a scar on me, too, the clever little creature”

“Did he?” Loki asked “where?”

Thor felt a blush hit his cheeks and looked about. There was no one here and even if they were, it wasn’t like he was stripping.

He beckoned Loki closer with two fingers, then moved to his side, pulling his tunic up and the rim of his trousers a little lower and showed Loki an angry looking scar above his hipbone.

His _very_ sculpted hip bone, Loki swallowed heavily and sat back down.

“That looks nasty” Loki took a sip of his water

“He was nasty” Thor told him, pulling his clothes to rights “sometimes I regret letting him go off easy”

“What do you call ‘easy’, exactly?” Loki asked

“Threw him a river” Thor shrugged “I wanted to kick him into it but Balder made me stop”

Loki smiled “He seems noble, despite his dislike of me”

“I wouldn’t really know” Thor told him “All I feel is rage on his behalf and a feeling of Svadilfari’s neck between my hands”

Loki rolled his eyes “Dramatic fool”

“Taciturn prude”

Loki snorted and shook his head “Tell me more”

“No, you tell me” Thor said

Loki, gave a sigh and nodded “What do you want to know?”

“Tell me about your childhood in the royal city” Thor spied the server arrive with their meal and frowned “What … is that?”

Loki turned and grinned at the meal “Jotun speciality. It’s a Wapiti.”

The meat that came forth was cut like a steak, it looked like a steak but it needed a separate table to be kept on, sizzling in the serving dish. Thor’s eyes widened a little when he saw that the sizzling sound came from the blood that was simmering beneath the huge slab of meat. He could smell it and looked unbelievably hesitant.

As he watched, the server brought forth another platter with a small tap at its end.

“Sirs, would you like the wapiti drink before or after your meal?” the server asked.

“Drink?” Thor asked apprehensively

“Aye, the blood squeezed from your chosen piece, my lord” the server smiled

Thor turned a shade of green and Loki realized this wasn’t a good idea.

“Perhaps something else for the prince?” he asked, looking at Thor “Could you get him a menu?”

“Of course, sir” the server bowed and headed off.

Loki looked at Thor “I am sorry, Thor, I didn’t think blood would – disturb you”

“It doesn’t” Thor told him “Not really, but the thought of drinking it does”

“You’ve never had blood?” Loki asked

“No, have you?” Thor asked, looking horrified

“Lots of times, look” Loki reached over, dipped his finger on the edge of the steak and painted his finger with the red substance.

He brought it to his lips and Thor yelped.

“No, don’t do that!” Thor gasped as Loki just licked it off “That’s awful.”

Loki smiled and rolled his eyes “It’s a healthy staple in many parts of Jotunhiem, you know, especially by the seas”

“Blood?” Thor asked in utter disbelief.

“Aye, they always add it to their meal” Loki told him “I won’t force you to have this, it can get a little too much even for us. Perhaps if they got rid of the blood and cooked it a little more?”

Thor nodded quickly “It would be better, I don’t want to risk getting sick. We have to go tomorrow”

“Ah, yes, our adventure in getting your hammer back” Loki raised a hand as the server came over “If it’s not too much trouble, could you please make this well done? I will of course, pay extra”

The server bowed, relieved not to take a new order and headed back to the kitchens.

“Thank you, Loki” Thor smiled

“You’re welcome, Thor”

They went back into conversation easily and once their lunch arrived, well done and delicious, Thor managed to polish it all off with Loki.

It was, as Loki said, delicious.

Thor wiped his lips with a napkin and groaned “I’m going to die”

Loki smiled as he sipped his wine, then looked behind Thor.

He froze when Taneleer walked over, right behind Thor, a smile on his face.

“Loki” he beamed “Fancy seeing you here, darling child”

His voice was loud enough to have the other guests look up at them. They knew who he was, they knew what ‘child’ meant and silence fell upon them.

“It’s been far too long” Taneleer smiled, stopping by their table, eyes fixated on Loki “I have so desired to see you”

Loki’s stomach clenched as the man reached over to stroke his face. He feared he would be sick, he would have to cut the skin he touched off, such was his disgust.

But the touch never came.

A soft gasp escaped Loki when Taneleer’s wrist was grabbed in a cruel grip, making the Collector jump and look to Thor, who stood suddenly beside him. His blue eyes thundered with rage, his veins protruding with the amount of effort it took him not to break the demon’s wrist.

“Do not” Thor rasped at him, looking down at him “Touch him”

Taneleer, though surprised, was easily smiling a moment later “What a grip. Impressive is the hand that wields the mighty hammer, is it not?”

Loki pushed his chair back and stood “Thor, stop. Let him go, please it’s not worth it”

“Aye, Thor” Taneleer smiled “listen to your beautiful little bed warmer. I’m sure he’s used that mouth to make you obey him, be smart”

Thor’s grip tightened even further and Taneleer hissed, trying to pull it away

“Try not to hurt me” Taneleer told him “Who knows _who_ you might end up hurting as well”

“Thor, please” Loki came over to Thor’s side “Let him go, please”

His slender hands rested over Thor’s arm and he felt the strength he used against Taneleer. How tempted he was to let him kill him.

“ _Please_ ” Loki said, one last time.

Thor looked at Loki slowly, his blue eyes furious. Taneleer was here, mocking Loki despite what he was doing and Thor felt murderous.

His gaze rose to Taneleer and it might as well have been ice itself.

“When I get my hammer” Thor told him “Yours is the first skull she will crush”

Taneleer let out a happy little giggle “How exciting! I look forward to having you take me in a ring”

Thor made a disgusted sound and shoved him back. Taneleer only beamed and turned to Loki.

His eyes roved Loki up and down, slowly, deliberately making him feel dirty.

 “I will see you later, too” Taneleer smiled.

Thor took a step forward and Loki stopped him, placing his hands on his chest and putting himself between them.

Taneleer gave one last look at Loki’s long legs, turned and headed out.

The servers, who had been watching all this, tense and apprehensive, breathed deeply. Thor was glaring at the man as he left and stayed silent.

In fact, he said not a word after that and Loki felt a sense of defeat.

Even now, Taneleer had won over him, how was he to defeat him and get his mother back?

***

Ruben was curled up before the dying fire, warm and comfortable when the sound of yelling made it muffled way to from the outside.

It was getting closer and he lifted his head, eyes flicking to the door when it was kicked open by Thor’s vicious kick.

“I have never run from danger and that cretin thinks to threaten me!?” Thor stomped inside and threw his cloak of his back, all but ripping it in two as he hung it and looked to Loki, who was following him “He dared to touch you, he tried to get his slimy hands on you, how was I to tolerate it!?”

Loki said nothing, looking meek and it angered Thor further.

“Disgusting rat that he is” Thor snarled, watching Loki head to the kitchen “I will rip his head off! Why are you so calm?!”

Loki looked at him from the kitchen and poured a glass of water “I am not going to yell and shout, Thor, it will do no good”

He filled up the large glass and walked to Thor handing it to him.

“I am angry, more than you know” he told him, his voice shaking, just a little “But I will not risk her, Thor, I will not give in and risk her no matter what”

That cooled Thor’s anger and Loki saw his shoulders slump. He looked at the glass and drained the water within, then extended it to Loki.

“I’m sorry” Thor whispered, exhaling loudly “It’s just that when he reached for you….”

“You wanted to kill him” Loki finished “Aye?”

“Aye” Thor said “I have never – I mean ever since we have known each other, I -”

 Loki frowned when Thor broke off “What? You what, Thor?”

“I’ve never seen you look so afraid” Thor told him “It made me want to destroy him”

Loki smiled a little, a soft laugh escaping him “We don’t even know each other that well, Thor. You care for me so?”

Thor nodded “I do. I really do”

“You’re sweet” Loki reached over and pat his cheek “But I can care for myself when I have to”

He pulled his hand back but stopped when Thor reached up and gently took his wrist in his hand. Slowly, as Loki watched, he pulled him a little closer, setting his arm behind his neck and pressing them together with an arm snaking around Loki’s waist.

“Thor, what are you-”

 He broke off as Thor’s hand trailed down his arm, his fingers ghosting over his skin, his clothes, till it slipped down his side and came up to cup his cheek.

It felt good, really good and Loki leaned into it, just a little, closing his eyes. When he opened them again, Thor was smiling.

“May I kiss you?” Thor asked softly

Loki raised a brow “Why?”

Thor seemed to be caught and looked a little hesitant “Because it feels good to me and maybe I can-”

“No, Thor” Loki chuckled “Why do you ask?”

“Oh” Thor gave his head a shake “I want it to be contented”

Loki smiled a little “Is that all it takes for you to be content? A prince?”

“Prince or peasant” Thor stroked his cheek “I am still a man first and have just about the same desires as everyone else.”

“Oh and what are they?” Loki asked “Me?”

“What?” Thor blinked “Nay, why would you say that? I meant food and warmth and all that, how self-centred you are”

Loki gave him a shove, that didn’t lodge him completely, but made Thor laugh.

“You’re an idiot” Loki told him plainly “Understand?”

“I do” Thor smiled

He wanted to say more but Thor leaned in and kissed the top of his head before he let him go.

“And you like it”

Loki snorted “No, I don’t”

“You do, a little” Thor smiled

Once more, Loki rolled his eyes

“See?” Thor pointed a finger at him “I know you enough”

“Whatever you say, my lord” Loki crossed his arms over his chest “Now depart and do what you love, I have plans for us”

“Of course you do” Thor said “Thrym and all”

“Aye, Thrym” Loki made a disgusted face “Not fond of that one”

“Why?” Thor asked

“You’ll see” Loki smiled “For now, I am going to hem the other dress up a little”

Thor didn’t even bother to hide his distaste “You’re on your own on that, I require rest”

“Because of the taxing meal you had, no doubt” Loki snickered as he headed upstairs “Very well, I will do well enough on my own. But be prepared for Thrym, dear Prince, you will need vigilance for that”

Thor settled himself comfortably on the couch and closed his eyes as the laziness after a hefty meal overtook him.

He pulled a cushion beneath his head as he kicked off his shoes and was ready to doze off a minute later.

And if he heard Loki come over and place Ruben on his chest so the cat could sleep, Thor said nothing.

He was so close to getting his hammer and it helped grant him easy sleep for now.

***

Thrym of Jotunhiem was a well known man. He lived in a manor suited to royalty. He was a prime trader in many things such as fine, expensive silks and fancy jewellery, making him a rich man and worthy of living in the capital. His home was fortified with well-paid guards and he bought the loyalty of many over the years.

Once a month he threw a lavish party, where even the royal brothers were invited, though they came with the ‘festivities’ ended. Laufey was a friend to Thrym and often the men enjoyed themselves with drinks and nostalgic talks on the balcony once a month.

They were thick as thieves, many said. They drank and feasted while Helblindi and the younger generation spoiled themselves on food, drink and women.

It was a great party and everyone, including the invited courtesans, enjoyed themselves vastly.

Tonight was no different and Thor hissed in irritation as the carriage him, Loki and the courtesans arrived on jolted.

It was humiliating and if _anyone_ _ever_ saw him, Thor was sure he would brain himself with his own hammer.

For Thor, prince of Asgard and future king, sat with Loki on the open carriage, wearing a dress of the finest linen, among the tittering, chattering selection of women that were hired for the night. His chosen colour was red and even though Thor had seen and helped Loki work on it, wearing it was a shock he was still reeling from.

The bodice was tight and pulled to give him the shape of – as best it could -  a woman and Thor had endured a full ten unholy minutes of Loki pulling it tight around him. Thor feared for his insides and his arms bulged the sleeves he wore. The skirt hid his muscled legs but gave him such a feeling of nudity he wondered why women ever wore these.

Pants where the answer, always. To every question in every existing realm.

This afternoon, as they prepared, Loki had approached Thor with his shaving tools and an unholy war had started between them where Thor refused to shave and Loki refused to back down.

“Damn it, Thor, women don’t have beards!” Loki had snapped, staring at him as Thor put the couch between them “You will give us away!”

“I have agreed to a dress, Loki” Thor growled “Anything else and I will call Mjolnir right here and destroy half this world! I am not shaving!”

They had fought a little more, much to Ruben’s amusement, before they reached a compromise. Then, Thor had been a dark entity watching Loki hiss and curse him as he sewed and stitched a veil for him.

It covered half his face and his head now and Thor looked at the women around them. If they knew they were men, they said nothing of it. It was nice, since Thor was sure they knew, no woman really looked like he did unless she practiced and worked her form to the muscled monstrosity that he currently was.

They were from various races, the women, some of them a stunning mixture of two. Thor would have admired them better had his nether regions not been open to such harsh winds.

“By the norns” Thor hissed to Loki “how do you even…”  

He broke off, gaping behind his veil when he saw Loki actively chatting and giggling with the Vanir woman beside him, both of them boasting of their prowess in bed.

Loki had lowered his voice to hide how deep it was and ordered Thor not to speak above a hiss lest they be caught. But right now, Thor wanted to yell at him, such was his discomfort.

Loki was a vision in green. He’d selected the dresses himself and made the measurements himself, gone to give them himself and only showed them to Thor when Thor reached the house they were living in. his dress was a beautiful blend of green and black, the material so shiny it had reflected tiny green shapes on the walls when Loki had descended the stairs to reveal it.

For a second, Thor could only stare because Loki looked womanly, which was something Thor failed at. He already had a slim waist and build but the dress enhanced it and Thor raised a brow when Loki lifted the bottom of the dress to show off his long legs and strap a few daggers to his calf.

“You should arm yourself” Loki threw him a blade “Never a bad idea”

Thor nodded and did the same, ignoring Loki’s chuckle as he lifted the hem of his dress to reveal his muscular, hairy leg.

They wore their – manly – boots and headed off to get Mjolnir back.

Loki teleported them to another city, revealing it as the capital and Thor began to marvel at everything.

It was beautiful, the buildings were like mirrors, crystal walls, columns, pillars, doors …

Thor had yelped when Loki took his hand and dragged him ahead, taking him to a brothel where he’d ‘talked’ them into getting a ride to the manor.

They had been loaded, giggling with the other women, to the carriage and Loki was quick to mention that Thor was the specially ordered courtesan, all the way from Asgard. The women had ‘oohed’ and Thor had become more interesting than he had been before.

As they rode onwards, the huge Jotun animal dragging the carriage ahead. Excited cheers announced their departure and Thor, who sat taking up nearly all the space on the bench, held Loki’s shoulder for balance as the man sat on the floor with the others, taking and introducing himself.

Apparently, Thor was ‘Helga’, a half troll, half Aesir and Loki was ‘Seidr’, an Alfhiem and Jotun mix.  Mutts, they were called, in their lands and Thor’s mouth twisted in distaste. He lightly whacked Loki on the back of the head but was refused a reaction.

Huffing, he set his elbow on the edge of the open carriage, his chin on his hand and watched the beautiful city go by.

Men and women watched them leave, some cheering, some judging. Thor didn’t much care as they went through the dimly lit city and headed to the manor.

As they neared the lands that were owned by the rich, Thor noticed more sentinels than people and eventually, the people stopped showing up.

They were now in Thrym’s well guarded territory and Thor tensed, taking a deep breath.

Loki was still chatting with the others, who were hired every month and were here voluntarily.

Apparently, their safety was considered of utmost importance and no one treated them badly.

“Lord Helblindi chose me for the past two months” one was telling Loki “I do hope he is there”

“Don’t get attached” another called from the bench behind Thor’s  “They are only nice once a month, when they are drunk”

“My, my, aren’t you bitter?” Loki smirked at her.

And Thor gawked as he saw his eyes prettily lined and his lips painted. There was rouge on his cheeks, too and powder on his eyes.

He wanted to ask him what the hell he was doing, but he was suddenly presented with a small bottle.

“Just your eyes, darling” an elf came to sit by him, smiling “The carriage is going to stop for checking, I will put it on”

“Uh…” Thor kept his voice high pitched, as best he could “I wouldn’t”

“Ah, Helga, darling” _Seidr_ crooned “do it dear, you know your lord will like it”

Thor narrowed his eyes at him but stoutly refused to line his bloody eyes!

The others gave up, too, but Thor saw Loki’s unimpressed look. He knew this was far from over, but for now, all of them went silent as they approached the manor gates.

Like everything else, it was heavy. The sound of pomp and music came even to them and the girls started to sit up straighter and brush their hair back. Bags were pulled over shoulders and mirrors were passed around as they did the necessary check ups.

As she had said, their carriage stopped and two jotun guards approached, armed with lanterns. They asked the driver who it was and walked to inspect the girls.

“Merely courtesans” the one on Thor’s side spoke, shining the light on his face.

Thor was nearly blinded, he raised a hand and blinked, looking away, but not before he saw the morbid look on the man’s face.

“Ugly ones”

Thor slit his eyes and growled but Loki placed a hand on his knee. Thunder rumbled in the distance and Loki dug his nails in, making Thor hiss and look at him.

Loki shook his head once and Thor forced himself to calm, silencing the skies a moment later.

The carriage jolted and they headed over a beautifully kept garden, warm and delightful. The grass was green, the colour was vibrant even in the low lighting and it occurred to Thor that it was the same spell that was cast over the small town. There were flowers everywhere and many guests were outside, seated on the ground or chairs and loungers.

They gave the courtesans a glance, then went back to eating and drinking as they chatted.

So far, he’d felt abandoned but when Loki suddenly took his hand, Thor looked at him. As confident as Loki had been before, there was worry in his eyes now and Thor gave him a reassuring squeeze. He let go after a moment, but Loki held on to his finger and Thor hadn’t the heart to shake it off.

They drove around the huge manor and Thor realized why breaking in was impossible. There were archers in every window, watching the horizon carefully for threats. There were foot soldiers and even a few on horses, patrolling the lands.

Thrym was an important man here and Thor felt a heaviness in his middle that hadn’t been there before. The carriage was slowing down and Thor saw a huge archway lead into a drive. The drive was filled with carriages and phaetons of the guests who were already here and Thor felt them slow down as they took their place and stopped.

A guard came over to them as the courtesans slowly stood and groaned, taking out the kinks and stiffness in their bodies from the long, cold ride.

Thor and Loki remained sitting as the others filed out and looked at one another for some sort of support. Loki gave him a smile and Thor nodded, inhaled and stood.

This was it.

He was getting Mjolnir back.

***

They had been led, single file, into the harems.

The concubines were already with Thrym and were acting as his eyes. They were untouchables and neither were their belongings. Two heavy set guards ensured that the guest courtesans stayed in the common room and used the two common powder rooms.

There was food and wine set in a small dining room in the corner of the hall, where they could enjoy as they waited. Thor chose not to have anything and stood leaning against a nook, arms crossed over his massive chest. He was trying not to glower, but when Loki approached and Thor saw his expression, he knew he’d failed.

He had two glasses of wine in his hand and smirked at Thor.

“Don’t be nervous” Loki smiled and handed him the glass “try to smile, you are going to be mingling with the best”

Thor snorted and pointed to his veil “And how do I drink?”

“Easy” Loki smirked, his painted lips dark against his skin “Follow me”

Loki moved past him slow, graceful and confident, only to switch his place with Thor so that he wasn’t seen by the others.

Thor hummed and he turned their backs to the others, pretending to talk with Loki. He moved the veil down and took his drink slowly.

“They will escort us to the great hall soon” Loki told him taking a sip from his own glass “Once there, we will pick a guest and take them to the rooms with the pretence of – of ‘conducting business’”

“Aye” Thor said softly “then I will sneak to Thrym’s chambers and find Mjolnir, so we can get out of here”

“Exactly” Loki clinked their glasses together “and never be seen again”

“Hopefully” Thor smirked

He waited till Loki finished his drink, then took both glasses and placed them on a slim archway in the wall beside them, beside the candle it held. It cast a dim glow around them and Thor like the way it lit Loki’s face.

“Listen” Thor gently placed a hand on Loki’s cheek “Don’t worry. We’ll get her after this, I  swear”

Loki sighed “If we don’t?”

Thor frowned “No, don’t think like that”

He gave Loki a little shake and raised his brows meaningfully until Loki nodded. Then Thor smiled and stepped back.

“How long do we have to wait for?” Thor asked

Loki shrugged “I don’t know. But come here”

Thor frowned, then grunted in surprise when Loki pushed him against the wall and pressed against him.

His eyes widened when he saw that black bottle in his hand.

“No, Loki…” Thor hissed in irritation

“Shut up, they will suspect something, Thor” Loki growled, holding him in place.

“Damn you,” Thor growled, but stayed still.

Loki tried a few times but Thor kept flickering his lids.

“You’re getting it everywhere, fool!” Loki hissed “Stop blinking!”

“You’re poking my eye!”

“Just _stop_ it!”

Thor stayed as still as he could as Loki painted a dark black line over his eyelid, then the other. Thor opened his eyes and saw Loki so close he was leaning on him and Thor fluttered his lashes when Loki gently raised his brow to apply the makeup perfectly.

It felt strange, but Thor eventually stopped and kept his eyelid closed as Loki lined the top, then the bottom part and gave him a sort of exotic look about him. He even let Loki put a coloured powder on his eyes before he stepped back.

Pleased with himself, Loki smiled and went to return the things he’d borrowed from the others.

And not a moment too soon.

Thor had gone to admire himself in the powder room and was telling Loki that he was impressed with his skills when the guards told them it was time. Thor and Loki shared a look, then took a deep breath.

They got in line, Thor behind Loki, and made their way forward, going to where the Great Hall was.

The music was louder here and Thor felt it thrum through his body with every step he took. The girls were excitedly talking to one another so Loki turned to Thor.

“Just go with the first man who asks for you” Loki told him “Tell him you want to go to Thrym’s room, since you like that sort of power dynamic. Tell them I will be there, too so we can have a better chance of him being eager”

Thor shuddered “Power dynamic”

Loki smirked and turned back and Thor watched as the dress flowed over Loki’s hips with each step. He had to admit, it was very flattering on Loki and the shiny, reflective sort of material – a cheap form of satin – clung to Loki very well.

Though Thor’s dress was built to _keep him in_ , Loki’s was made to flatter him. The cut of the skirt, the sleeves, the black netting over the bodice made it an exciting outfit and Thor wasn’t surprised that he wasn’t the only one looking.

The hall was filled with music, yes, but when they walked in, Thor gasped softly, his gaze full of wonder.

The room was painted with pinks, blues, purples, greens and all the colours of the northern lights in Asgard.  There were performers everywhere and Thor stared as an acrobat swung past them on aerial ribbons, wrapped around the strong cloth as she spun and twirled in the air.

Drumbeats resonated through his body and he unconsciously reached out to keep Loki close. Loki didn’t mine because the moment they entered, they were left to their devices. Thor didn’t know where to go, but Loki held his hand and guided him along.

Thor was led into a wall of bodies, dancing, laughing, singing and jumping in time to the music. The air was lit with energy and more than once Thor was jolted around by the dancers, threatening to lose Loki within the crowd.

The line of courtesans had broken as they entered and the raucous atmosphere became even more charged. Cheers sounded as the men surrounding them noticed the finely dressed women, heading to them.

There were women, too, but they were separated, enjoying themselves on the upper floor, male courtesans and all.

Thrym left no one displeased.

Thor and Loki moved as a pair, bypassing the men who leered at them, whistled and called to them. Thor kept his gaze on the floor, watching the end of Loki’s dress as Loki led him ahead.

He thought Loki was taking him randomly through the crowd, but he felt himself go tense when he saw them headed right to the dais where Thrym sat.

Thor’s eyes widened a little and focused right on the Jotun.

Thrym was huge, a true testament of what Loki had told Thor about him. He had been fed on mountain yaks and what not, bred to live on the mountains and made his home here, in the capital. The man was close to seven feet in height and almost twice Thor’s width, a true giant.

He had long, black hair, coming down to his waist and braided to keep it out of his eyes. His face was devoid of sympathy and he sat there, amid the cool room in his armour, a testament of his power. Upon his head was a metal helm, his hands were loosely tied before him as he watched, sitting on a huge chair and overlooking his feast.

There was food in front of him but he wasn’t eating and two of his concubines were standing behind him, watching the crowd and assessing the elements of danger that may or may not arise.

Thor and Loki stopped before the pale skinned giant. They hadn’t been seen yet and Loki turned to look at Thor, his green eyes determined.

“Alright” Loki nodded “Here we go, follow my lead”

“Aye” Thor said, steeling himself for it

Loki swiftly turned to Thrym and bowed, speaking above the music in a startlingly feminine voice. Thor almost balked till he realized Loki had likely used magic to do that.

“Lord Thrym of Jotunhiem, Guardian of the Plains and Lake Utgardar and Defender of the people of Thiazi, I bring to you an offering, one that will lift your spirits and hopefully, more”

Thrym looked at Loki and raised a brow at him “And who are you?”

“No one but a lowly courtesan” Loki said, a smile upon his lips “brought here from afar with my sister Helga, honoured by the chance to bring ourselves to your magnificent manor”

Thrym looked to Thor and raised a brow. The prince felt his skin prickle as the man looked him up and down deliberately. His eyes lingered over Thor’s chest and he wanted to cover it with his hands.

He stayed silent, mostly because Loki was speaking again.

“Rumours of your strength have travelled far and wide” Loki smiled “We came here to sample them, if you are so inclined”

The crudeness of Loki’s words and the barely hidden implication had Thor gape under his veil and Thrym smile at him.

At _Thor_.

“You said you have an offering for me” Thrym asked Loki “if that offering is anything but her, I will be displeased”

Loki giggled, high and sweet, like a woman “You think me a fool, then, if I came with the intention to displease. Of course, it’s my sister Helga, but as a bonus, I offer myself, too. See, we do _everything_ together”

Thor tried to level a lethal glare at Loki but it failed to hit him, with all the dim lighting and all.

Thrym, however, seemed delighted and held out a hand for Thor.

“Come, my dear” Thrym beckoned him closer “tell me what you want and I will tell your clever minx of a sibling if I accept”

Loki beamed at Thor and nodded at him once. He was not going to let anything happen to him so this was _safe_.

In Loki’s opinion, Thor wanted to murder.

Thor grit his teeth and tried not to stomp over to Thrym so he could take his hand. Loki wasn’t allowed on the dais and stood, waiting and watching, keeping his smile to himself as Thor was made to sit astride Thrym’s muscled leg.

“You are well built, Helga, I like that but…” Thrym crooned, running the backs of his fingers down Thor’s arms “not many can take a man like me, what makes you different?”

Thor’s brain tried for an answer and it took him a few tries before he got one that would satisfy Thrym and Loki while make Thor die inside, just a little.

“I am not eloquent in speech when it comes to such matters” Thor whispered, leaning over and deliberately letting his hand brush Thrym’s crotch “But I am most eager to show you if …”

He felt Thrym tense and looked upon him with a frown.

“If you _prove_ your strength to me.” Thor purred, his eyes focused on Thrym’s lips “see, my lord, I have heard you stole something from a Prince I have had the pleasure of meeting…”

Thrym’s eyes widened and Thor smirked beneath his veil.

“I have come out touched and unscathed by the future King of Asgard himnself” he cooed at him, making himself rub Thrym’s thigh, as he imagined himself strangling Loki after this “Perhaps you have strength but I have to see for myself if you surpasses the Mighty Thor in stamina and power.”  

For a moment, Thor feared he’d gone too far and that Thrym was about to knock him off his feet and on the floor. He even prepared to call forth his hammer, but it was all for naught when Thrym smiled and placed a hand over Thor’s leg.

“You will not leave _unscathed_ after a night in bed with me” Thrym swore, then looked to Loki “I accept your offering, little Courtesan. But first, I will sample your sister, then the two of you together”

His hand went to Thor’s bottom and squeezed hard enough to make Thor groan. Thrym liked the sound and smacked his rear before gently pushing him to his feet.

Thrym snapped his fingers and a valet came forth with a stoic expression on his face.

“Take that one to the King” he pointed to Loki, “Then bring her to my chambers.”

He stood and Thor turned to Loki, whose face suddenly looked ashen.

“M-My lord,” Loki stuttered, looking scared “My offer was to you, n-not the K-King”

Thor wanted to move to him, but Thrym took his hand and dismissed Loki’s worries with a wave of his large hand.

“The King will treat you well, worry not” Thrym said, pulling Thor with him.

The valet walked to Loki and Thor started to get worried.

“My lord…” Thor tried “My sister, she…”

“She will be fine, hush” Thrym said firmly “The King has a liking for green eyed wenches and will have her treated well. You, on the other hand, will have me to please, so save your pleading, my dear”

The night had turned for the worst and Thor couldn’t keep the disgust off his face as Thrym led him to his chambers.

It was really what he wanted, but for the life of him, he couldn’t get Loki out of his head. This was their plan, Loki was to be with him!

He looked over his shoulder as he jogged down the was taken down the halls and down the path that held his chambers.

Thor looked behind him to see if Loki was following but so far, there was no trace of him. His heart started to pound in his chest as he was taken towards one staircase after another, leading him right to the master bedchambers.

The halls of Thrym’s manor were huge, domed and made for giants. It was a symbol of power for Thrym and as such, it was strong as mountains. There were clear ice fin slim enough and wide enough to support the massive ceiling. They were carved with beautifully calligraphed runes and glowed beautifully because of the wall sconces that were set between each fin.

There was a stunning stained ice mural, no doubt letting light in from outside during the day, but at night, it showed the stars in the many, many colours it was painted in.

The master suite was to the left of this mural, the doors were fantastic, like something out of a fairy tale, but to Thor, they were something else.

They would lead him to Mjolnir, nothing else and he prepared to fight Thrym the moment he saw his beloved hammer.

Thrym had excitement in his eyes as he unlocked the doors and let them in, closing them behind him.

There was a maid there, pulling his bed down and she quickly made her escape.

Thrym eagerly led Thor to the bed, covered with furs and duvets, a smile on his lips.

“You heard of my victory against Thor?” he asked, his hands on either side of Thor’s hips “What a girl you are, really, you make me proud”

Thor’s eyes flashed furiously and he watched the man, not saying a word.

“Nervous?” Thrym cooed, rubbing Thor’s arms “You’re a big girl, I like it. You can take me on, I know, but first…”

Thor had to lean back and Thrym leaned closer, close enough for Thor to look into his excited eyes.

“I want you to see her” Thrym beamed “I want you to remember him and then forget him after what I do to you tonight”

Underneath the veil, Thor’s face turned disgusted, but he kept his composure for a little longer, just a little.

Thrym kissed his mouth over the veil and stepped back, missing the way Thor rubbed his arm over his lips, absolutely repulsed by it. The Jotun went to a bookcase and stood before it, turning to give ‘Helga’ a smile.

He pressed his hand on the wall beside the bookcase and a panel lit up, flashing beneath his palm twice, then the bookcase shifted aside.

And inside, in a small room encased within the walls, was Mjolnir, set on the table Thor had placed it on with his own hands.

And thus, was solved the mystery of how Thrym had gotten his hammer from him.

“You wish to try and lift it?” Thrym crooned “It would be a great feat if you did”

Thor, who was right about to call her forth, stopped and looked at him. The anger gave way to pettiness and Thor giggled, even wiggling his feet a little.

“Oh, don’t be shy, my dear” Thrym came over to help him up “Give it a try”

Thor let him, even looping his arm through his as he went to the hammer. Her thrum went through his system and Thor’s fingers itched to hold her.

Finally, finally, he was reunited with her.

Thrym smiled as Thor went over, his eyes watching his future ‘lay’ reach out to grab the shaft. It was adorable and after her disappointment he would pull her in his arms, pick her up and…

Well, there was little else he would do.

But not a second after Thrym smiled, it faded to complete and utter shock.

Thor’s hand wrapped around her shaft and her energy flowed through him, danced over his wrist and arm, responding to his desire to wield her and Mjolnir was lifted from the table, finally in the hands of her master.

Thrym’s eyes widened the moment lighting and thunder burst up ahead and Thor lifted her high above his head. The windows shattered and Thrym ducked as lightning soared through, enveloping Thor completely, the light blinding in its brightness, forcing the rich Jotun to shield his eyes and move away.

The searing, sizzling heat was all but burning him and charged the room, charring the very tops of his furs and sheets as it went on and on, roaring, screaming above his head before it stopped, suddenly and without warning.

The heat remained, the static in the air still popped around Thrym’s ears as he straightened but it was far from over.

Thor stood before him, his dress ripped to shreds, barely held together over his massive chest and arms, his hair was undone, the veil gone and rage rested in his eyes.

“Once, I will grant you mercy” Thor pointed the hammer to him, electricity and lighting danced over her head “Take me to the courtesan you sent to the King”

***

Loki fled.

His dress was ripped from his shoulder and he ran, his face worried.

His heart was pounding in his throat and he could hear the man behind him, the monster who had forced him down, touched him till Loki blasted him away with magic.

Not the King, no, not him, it was a guard, a hostile monster who was going to die if Loki had anything to do with it.

His eyes worried, Loki turned to hall after hall as the guard neared.

“Get back here!” the guard shouted, desperate to stop him now.

His head was on the line, there was no way he was going to live if Loki told anyone what he tried to do. He just needed to go to a crowded place.

A darkened hall came upon him and Loki turned to it but stopped when he face the doors of a large chamber. Gasping, he turned to head the other way, but faltered to a stop when the guard came before him.

“Easy, sweetheart” he cooed, his hand on his sword “Let’s not get hurt, aye?”

“Stay back” Loki threatened “I’ll kill you”

If the guard was surprised by _his_ voice, he said nothing. He approached him slowly and Loki readied a stunning spell in his hand.

But it wasn’t needed.

The door behind him opened quickly and the guard went pale, the color draining from his face. Loki spun around and his eyes went wide in surprise when he looked into a pair identical to his.

King Laufey looked at Loki, then the man before him and grit his jaw.

“My K-King!”

The guard fell to his knees and Loki did too, both of them lowering their heads in respect as Laufey stepped forward.

His hand rested on Loki’s head softly and he looked down at him “Go to my room, have a drink, it’s on the table”

“Yes, my King” Loki whispered

Laufey shut the door behind him and Loki heard his rumbling voice, then the guard’s slightly pleading one.

He stood on the other side, raising a shaking hand to wipe his eyes and brush his hair back as he listened.

He heard more talking, then, to his relief, he heard Laufey call forth his own men, hidden in the shade, likely watching until Loki _had_ to be saved. Anger went through him at the thought of Laufey having so much protection and he didn’t even realize that tears had come to his eyes till Laufey walked back in and exhaled.

“Calm yourself, Loki” Laufey told him, going to the table where there really was a drink “All is well”

A shock went through Loki’s system when he was recognized and addressed by the King.

By his _Father_.

“He’ll be dead soon,” Laufey came to him, drink in hand “Sit and have this, trust me it will help with the upcoming shock”

Loki frowned, taking the glass automatically “W-What shock?”

As an answer, Laufey smirked, so much like Loki, then looked behind him.

“You can come out now” Laufey called.

The glass in Loki’s hand fell, crashing to the floor as he stared at the person who walked out of the room.

“M-Mother…”

Farbauti, dressed in a large robe, hair damp from a bath and looking so damn tired, smiled at him.

She was scratched and bruised, but alright and stood before him, grinning at the two men before her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	14. Marked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Thor” Loki called, standing up, too “Thor, wait”
> 
> Thor didn’t. He turned and stormed away, leaving them behind in his anger and the rumbling of thunder somewhere above them.

Loki looked upon Farbauti, taking in her haggard condition, rushed to her the next moment.

He hadn’t held her in years.

In two bloody years, he hadn’t seen his mother and he held her now, holding her close to him as he stood in a ripped dress and cheap make up.

“Ma…” Loki whispered, tears springing to his eyes “Gods, _Ma_ …”

“Hush” she cooed, placing a hand behind his head “My darling, it’s alright”

Loki squeezed his eyes shut and his throat felt tight as he tried to breathe properly. His hands shook as he pressed them closer, his heart raced with every broken beat it had. Two tears, filled with grief and pain and loss and sorrow, rolled down his cheeks to vanish in the robes she wore.

“I’m here” she whispered, kissing his cheek “I’m here, he saved me, Laufey saved me, Loki”

Loki shook his head, not wanting to listen to this now. Not wanting to listen to her talk about him. A soft whine escaped him and he buried his face in her neck, holding her tighter.

Farbauti did, too, looking at Laufey, who looked uncomfortable where he was.

“I’ll – uh...” he pointed to the door “Get him proper clothes”

Farbauti nodded and kissed Loki’s shoulder, watching Laufey leave. She stood there, not letting Loki go. He knew her son had been through hell and back, if her own stay taught her anything.

_“This way”_

_Farbauti, in her cell, caged and hungry, looked up when a cloud formed before her, rising from the ground upwards until it slowly solidified into a mirror, gilded and floating in midair so she could see._

_Her heart jolted painfully when she saw him, Loki, standing here, in his cape and cowl, looking through the spell at her. She saw the pain in his green eyes and saw him turn to the monster beside him._

_Taneleer, with his oily voice and sick, disgusting face, beamed when Loki demanded her to be better kept._

_“Were you not given the same treatment, Child?” Taneleer chuckled “What makes her special enough to get a better treatment than you?”_

_“You is my mother” Loki hissed, pointing to the illusion before him_

_Taneleer beamed “Aye, and if I remember, I am something to you, too”_

_Farbauti’s eyes widened in horror when she saw that – thing – reach over to touch Loki’s neck. Loki smacked his hand away and jumped back but the scared look in his eyes was there, the one she saw all through his childhood, whenever he was hurt by other children._

_“Don’t touch me” Loki rasped, glaring at him “You are getting what you want, I am giving you the prince, there is no right in the world that allows you to touch me”_

_Taneleer grinned at him “I don’t need a right. I just want to”_

_Loki snarled as the man openly looked at him, scanning his body. He covered himself with his cloak and frowned harder._

_“Give us privacy”_

_Taneleer smirked at him and bowed graciously to him, making Farbauti shudder in revulsion. The creature was horrible and he watched Loki, his eyes glued to her son as he headed out and left him alone._

_The moment he was, Loki turned to her, coming close to his contact spell._

_“Mother” he whispered “Are you alright?”_

_His voice shook and she saw tears in his eyes and nodded._

_“I am” she told him “They caught me when I left the safe houses. I was going to the King when…”_

_“Ma,” Loki frowned, placing his hands on the mirror that allowed him to talk to her “Ma, I can’t hear you”_

_The sadness in his voice broke her heart and she moved as close to the mirror as her cell allowed. She saw the hopelessness in his eyes and smiled._

_She didn’t want him to be hopeless._

_“I will come for you” Loki swore “And I will kill him, I swear to you.”_

_“I believe you” Farbauti whispered._

_Loki sighed and looked behind him “I am not giving him anything. I am going to get you out of here.”_

_He was telling himself that he would but Farbauti had a feeling that he had no real idea how, she saw it, past his words, his assurances, she saw the scared little son she’d raised over the years._

_“I know” she said, to him, for him, not for her. She had no real hope of escape, Taneleer had made sure of that._

_“Are – Are you fed well enough?” Loki asked her softly “When I was there, he starved me. Does he give you food?”_

_No_

_Farbauti nodded and smiled “Yes”_

_“Can you sleep well?” Loki asked_

_Not with all the crying around._

_“Of course” Farbauti smiled, then placed her fingers on his lips to kiss._

_She held it up for Loki and he did the same, kissing his fingertips and pressing them to the mirror as though they could touch._

_It was agony, watching him from afar, away from her and she knew his agony was seeing her in these tattered clothes, thin and weak…_

_She saw Loki turn to look behind him and his face became pained._

_“He’s coming back” Loki told her “Don’t lose hope. I am not lying, I have Prince Thor of Asgard on my side, I will get you out”_

_Frigga’s eyes widened and she cursed the fac that he couldn’t hear her as Taneleer returned._

_“Alright, that’s enough” he smiled, clapping his hands together “Let’s get you out”_

_Loki’s back was to her and she saw his tensed shoulders, his rigid back. She knew his eyes were on the monster and she knew he was afraid._

_But she was so proud when Loki only tipped his head up and walked off._

_Taneleer watched him go, his eyes glued to Loki’s back and she felt sick. She wanted to burn him, toss him into the ground and leave him there forever._

_And had she power, she would have._

_However, as it was, he was the one wielding power and he was well aware of it. He waited for Loki to go before he beamed at her._

_“When he is in my bed, you go free”_

_Her face paled and the images before he dissolved with his cackling laughter and the hate she felt burning in her gut._

_It vanished as it had appeared; into smoke and nothing. Her rage stayed, her despair stayed and she stayed. In her cell, locked away, fed once a day, she stayed._

_She couldn’t sleep all night, she passed out from exhaustion. She couldn’t eat and she couldn’t take the insanity that came with the hopeless wailing of the others kept locked here._

_For the next three days she was kept there._

_For the next three days, she remained in a state that promised her nothing but pain._

_And on the dawn of her fourth night, it changed._

_Once again, lost to the point of exhaustion, Farbauti had thought it a dream. She’d had many of Loki coming to help her escape, so she didn’t bother to give herself any sort of hope._

_Not until she heard gasps and not until she heard cell doors being opened and cries of hope, for the first time, hope, echo around her. She was laying on the floor like a dirty, filthy rag and could barely lift her head up._

_Her lips were chapped, she was sure she was going to die - then she saw it._

_The colour she’d seen on her life_

_Blue and silver, ice and water, Jotunhiem and steel._

_There were shouts and calls, there were voices she’d never heard before and someone broke her cell._

_“Do not touch her!”_

_The voice was familiar, how many times had she heard it say her name? How many times had he called her in their youth, then they were in each other’s arms, when they were each other’s loves._

_She’d heard it whisper loving words to her, that voice, heard it break her heart, heard it become heart broken when she said no – when she left for another._

_When she said no to the life she offered._

_When they both broke each other’s hearts and left one another as cold as Jotunhiem herself._

_It was a voice that brought bitterness and sweetness in equal measure. Right now, it gave her the light she so desperately needed as she watched him come closer._

_Laufey, King of the Jotuns, dressed in his armor, the diadem upon his royal forehead, his green eyes, filled with worry and horror at her state, locked on her face._

_“Ready the carriage” he tossed the order over his shoulder “depart with the others and send them to their homes, now!”_

_The guard bowed and rushed to do as Laufey said and the king pulled off his cloak, putting it over her. His arms were strong even now and she felt them slide beneath her tired, weary form, to lift her up against his mighty chest._

_“I’m sorry it took so long” Laufey whispered to her, turning gracefully towards the cell door “But you’re safe now, Fari”_

_Farbauti looked at him, her eyes half closed._

_“Loki…” she rasped “Loki…is…”_

_“I know” Laufey whispered “I will not let harm come to him once we find him, that I swear”_

_He carried her out of the dungeons, her eyes barely taking in the surrounding men and women, some running on their own feet, some too weak to move were carried in the arms of the soldiers that came with the King._

_Soldiers, there were so many she could hardly believe and by their crest, she knew who they belonged to._

_Thrym._

_One of Jotunhiems finest men and women were an army, raiding the house that Taneleer kept, raiding and ruining everything that was before them._

_For years, Laufey had let this happen and tonight, because it was her, he hadn’t been able to stand it. The moment he knew, he was eager to act upon and throw Taneleer’s life into chaos._

_And how well he did it._

_As she was carried out, she saw guards rush into the manor, she heard fights and calls for help, she heard manacles placed on the hands of those warriors who fought from Taneleer’s side._

_He wasn’t there, she knew. Him and the poor men and women he was currently training were long gone, possibly when the fight first started. He had more than one place like this, he would manage to land on his feet._

_It made her furious because she wanted him to suffer._

_But, as it was, it was out of her hands now and she looked at Laufey’s face as the King himself carried her in his arms once again and took her to the carriage so she could be taken to a place of safety._

_And there, promised by Laufey and delivered by the norns themselves, was her son, her Loki._

Her beautiful boy.

 ***

“You could have helped before you went into a laughing fit, you know”

Thor’s grumbling voice complained from the other side of the screen and Loki found himself stifling yet another smile.

“Of course, forgive me”

“Hard to do that when I can _hear_ you snickering, Loki”

Loki looked up and locked his eyes with Thor’s in the mirror by the screen, feeling more humour rise in him when he saw Thor’s baleful look.

And what a look it had been, what a scene it had been. Loki was sure Thrym would recount it for the rest of his life, so would Laufey and Farbauti. Possibly, Loki would retell it over and over again, too.

And Thor, poor Thor, would never be allowed to forget it.

Loki had just changed into more fitting clothing and gotten rid of his make up when a guard came to Laufey with the news of a fallout between Thrym and a heavy looking courtesan. There had been no doubt about who the courtesan was and Loki had rushed out – Laufey on his tail – to see Thor being escorted off the premises in the tattered remains of his lovely dress and a barrage of insults that even Loki hadn’t heard.

Thrym was ordering him to be thrown out and Thor fought, trying his best not to use the hammer by his side. It had been a short incident, because Loki had went forward and with Laufey’s aid, managed to free Thor in all but three minutes.

Laufey had stayed to talk to Thrym, explaining as best he could, the situation, and Loki had been over taken by a fit of giggles that Thor disliked instantly.

There had been stares, of course, there had been, when Loki took Thor by the arm and led him away. It was, again, Laufey’s intervention that got them two nice rooms to share with one another and a comfortable set of clothing Thor had begrudgingly put on.

Staying in the home of the thief who took his hammer was not a good idea for Thor or his pride and it was painfully obvious. He was shoving his limbs into his clothes as he glared at Loki. Of course, Loki didn’t mind, he was still laughing at how barbaric Thor looked when he came out, clothes ripped, hair askew and his skirt hiked over his knees.

How undignified it had been.

“I’m sorry, but the image is far too great for me to forget easily” Loki said, sitting on the edge of their bed.

Aye, their bed.

Thor had insisted that Farbauti – a lady he charmed instantly, much to Loki’s surprise – take the larger of the two rooms and the boys would share. It hadn’t occurred to him that one room meant one bed and sharing meant they would use it together.

It had hit him when he and Loki walked into the rooms and the large bed faced them.

It had done nothing to curb Thor’s irritation and it was still plain when he answered.

“You are not sorry at all” he announced, walking out from behind the screen “You are positively beaming”

“I can’t control my face” Loki defended, grinning when he saw the crumpled dress in Thor’s hands.

Thor hummed and walked to the fire, making Loki gasp when he tossed the torn garment in the flames.

“Thor!” Loki cried, standing to go to it “What did you do that for?”

“It was ripped and I was hardly going to keep it” Thor told him “Leave it, it deserves to burn”

There was little Loki could do since it had already caught fire and he turned to Thor, a furrow in his brow “You didn’t have to burn it, it was memorable”

“Aye, for my humiliation, which you seem to be enjoying” Thor told him “I don’t remember laughing at you when you wore the dress, Loki”

The fact that Thor was truly irritated, made Loki raise a brow at him and shake his head.

“I didn’t laugh at you, Thor, I laughed at the situation” he said

“You might not know me well enough but I do not like being mocked” Thor turned to him “It is one of the things I cannot stand and having the entire room look at me and guffaw was intolerable. The only reason I didn’t break all their skulls was because you would have been harmed and even you laughed at me. If I knew that would have happened, I wouldn’t have bothered to restrain myself”

 Loki pressed his lips together and stayed silent. He didn’t argue and watched Thor kick his shoes off and shove the sheets back to get into bed.

He looked ready to go home and the fact that Odin had to tell them when was just making things worse, in Loki’s opinion.

He sighed and shook his head, trying not to mutter anything dark, then went to lock the door. The part was still in full swing downstairs and Loki didn’t want anyone to stumble in by accident or otherwise.

Thor’s hammer lay on the floor beside him and Loki looked at it for a few seconds. It was magnificent, he could feel the power coming from it, thrumming around him.

When he moved away, he realized it came from Thor, too. It hadn’t been there before, but now he could sense its power.

No wonder Thor wanted it back.

Loki didn’t realize how much a part of him Mjolnir was until now.

He exhaled and shook his head, coming to stand by his feet. His arms crossed, he knew Thor was awake because of the scowl on his face.

Loki licked his lips and spoke.

“I’m sorry” he said, no mirth on his face “I shouldn’t have laughed at you. You have been nice and considerate to me and it was mean of me to laugh”

He expected Thor to open his eyes or speak, but the prince stayed as he was and Loki rolled his eyes, going back to stoke the dress ridden fire so he too could get some sleep.

He turned out the lights in the room and pulled the covers back so he could slide into bed as well. There was ample space between them and Loki gave Thor his back as he slowly started to relax.

But he wasn’t sleepy and after a few long stretched minutes, Loki started to sing to himself softly, it was an old rhyme, one his father, then his mother sang to him when he was young and it soothed him.

He did it when he couldn’t sleep and was often unable to finish it all before he dozed right off. Tonight, however, that didn’t happen.

Loki was on the third verse when a hand gently set on his shoulder and startled him a little, making him look back. He blinked when he saw Thor levered on one elbow, looking down at him, his eyes shining in the dim fire light.

“Where did you learn that?” Thor asked softly, as though speaking louder would shatter the peace he felt.

Loki looked at him for a few seconds then answered him, just as low “My parents. Why?”

Thor blinked slowly and his face turned a little sad, his gaze lowered and he swallowed heavily.

“Mother sang it to us” he whispered.

Loki raised his brows and opened his mouth to speak, but Thor moved closer, setting his head on Loki’s shoulder and looking at the floor, lost in his thoughts.

“Keep singing” Thor requested “Please?”

“Alright” Loki whispered, turning back.

Thor was a pleasant weight behind him and Loki continued to sing. His voice was low, soothing Thor immediately and Loki continued the rhyme, careful not to jolt Thor. It didn’t matter, because when it finished, Loki turned his head to see Thor fast asleep with his head on his shoulder. One arm was draped over Loki, his hand clenched loosely within their sheets.

This was the closest Loki had ever been to Thor and he didn’t mind. There was no doubt that Thor was beautiful, Loki would want him, but he wanted more. He always wanted more, ever since Angrboda, he’d wanted stability, he wanted to see, not be blinded by something as fleeting as beauty.

And he hadn’t seen anything else in Thor. There was pride, arrogance and a lot of teasing from his side, he’d seen the protective nature Thor had acquired in his time as a saviour but nothing else.

Not until now.

Tonight, he saw a bitter man and a softness, all in the space of an hour. There was pain inside Thor, Loki realized, bone deep and surrounding him completely. He missed his mother, he didn’t show it, he missed his family, he didn’t show it and he most certainly missed his lover but he didn’t show it.

Loki reasoned it was because of his pride or the fact that it made him vulnerable. He’d never mentioned his mother except in passing, not since Loki broke down earlier.

He’d been there for him, pulling him out of it and now it seemed Loki had caught him in a moment Thor hadn’t expected to be in.

Whether this would continue or not, Loki didn’t know.

But he stayed still either way, not wanting to push Thor off, till he ended up falling asleep.

And with Thor pasted to his back like that, the warmth that surrounded him lulled him into slumber much like the rhyme had so Loki was sleeping, too.

He didn’t wake until mid-morning and even then he did so when he felt cold. The fire had gone out and when he looked Thor still there, only fully awake. He lay next to him, levering himself on one elbow, looking down at Loki with those bright blue eyes.

For a second, Loki didn’t know what to say, then he licked his lips and greeted him.

“Good morning”

A smile curved Thor’s lips and he reached over to brush Loki’s hair off his forehead, his touch gentle, his fingers soft. He’d touched and kissed Loki before, but somehow, this was different.

Thor wasn’t insisting, he wasn’t even the slightest bit aggressive and Loki leaned into his touch, which delighted the Prince of Asgard.

“You’re in a good mood” Loki said softly “for someone who is about to be a famous cross dresser”

Thor growled and pat Loki’s cheek lightly, watching the fluttering of his lashes, the little scrunch in his nose.

Loki was a beautiful man, everything about him was stunning and now that Thor’s hammer was here and everything was dealt with, he could focus on his next mission.

Loki.

From what Thor gathered, the Jotun was still hesitant, but there were ways Thor could remedy that and he was more than eager to try.

Loki’s laugh flitted over to Thor, gentle as a butterfly and Thor stroked his cheek again.

“You look radiant right now” Thor told him “flushed from sleep, eyes shining, hair askew….”

“Tis a symptom for a Jotun disease, you know” Loki chuckled.

Thor gave him a dry glare “Must you ruin everything?”

“Must you try to hide your intention to kiss me?” Loki countered “It’s all but written in your eyes, Thor”

“Perhaps” Thor smirked “The question remains whether or not you will let me. So far you have been mildly interested, then backed away. I wouldn’t want to impose”

“Oh, you would love to impose” Loki turned to him, facing him proper “I might be interested now that other things are out of the way. No one can touch me, Mother is safe, your hammer is where she belongs, I am out of that hell…perhaps I need something like this”

“What about a future and all that?” Thor asked, playing with a bit of Loki’s hair “Your sentiment”

“I followed it once into a tragic end” Loki’s lip curled a little “Maybe if I didn’t listen, I can actually enjoy myself”

“Ah,” Thor grinned “I’m rubbing off on you”

“Not yet, but I would like it if you did” Loki flirted, openly but Thor saw the worry behind his eyes “Maybe if I delve into it the way you suggest, it might be good for me”

At that, Thor stared, then frowned, just a little, cocking his head as though confused.

“Are you … telling me I was right?”

He huffed when Loki jabbed his side, then shoved at him.

“I said no such thing” Loki growled.

Thor’s rumbling laughter followed the grin on his face and Thor rubbed his side.

“You just hit the King of Asgard”

“Prince, so far you are not King” Loki told him

“Words mean nothing” Thor dismissed easily “I will rule the moment I can”

“Ah,” Loki chuckled and sat up “Usurper”

“Minx” Thor reached out and grasped his wrist “Come here”

He yanked Loki close and the Jotun gasped softly when he was pulled against his chest, laying on top of Thor, looking down at him. His eyes, so very blue, locked with Loki’s and the younger swallowed, taken into their depths.

“A no strings attached relationship” Thor tugged on the sleeve of Loki’s tunic “Aye? Anything else you wish to tell me?”

Loki shook his head, his throat constricting as he stared at the magnificent Prince beneath him.

“Any time you feel uncomfortable you will stop me” Thor held up a finger, tapping him on the nose “Anything makes you feel bad, you stop me. This may not involve feelings but I refuse to do anything that hurts you. Deal?”

“Aye” Loki whispered “I – I understand”

“Good” Thor rumbled “Now, let me…”

Loki yelped when Thor flipped them over and his lips locked upon his own, taking him into a kiss that was like thunder itself.

Searing, burning and electrifying, much like Thor himself.

And Loki felt him brand himself into his skin right then and there.

***

Thor’s weight was pressing him into the bed and Loki found it limited his movement. The prospect didn’t scare him, rather it excited him and he kissed Thor back, opening his mouth and moaning when Thor slipped his tongue into his mouth.

Loki’s heart was pounding in his chest and his arms tightened around Thor’s shoulders, a shudder going through him when Thor gently stroked his bicep in response. He ran his large hand up to Loki’s elbow, then slid it down, slow, intimate, back down till it skated over his shoulder and stopped when it cupped Loki’s jaw as they kissed.

His other hand levered him up so he didn’t crush him too much but all Loki was aware of was the long, wet kiss they shared and the way Thor’s thumb caressed his cheek.

Loki gasped sharply when Thor broke the kiss off and started to kiss down his neck, his hand guiding Loki to tip his head back for better access. And a low hiss escaped Loki when he felt his hot breath on his skin before Thor’s supple lips landed on him in a delicate kiss that had Loki’s head fall backwards.

“Thor…” Loki purred, soft, seeking more “It feels wonderful”

The tender brush of his lips was a constant tease and his hand went through Loki’s hair, soothing him as he kept the kisses gentle. There was, Loki realized, a teasing lilt to Thor’s actions and he knew the man was holding back on his own demands.

Gods, what it would be like to have them unleashed, Loki didn’t even know.

His other hand, the one levering him, squeezed Loki’s shoulder and eventually, as Loki’s cheeks became dusted with pink, making him look positively enticing. He felt Thor lower the shoulder of his tunic and expose the skin there to his lips and Loki closed his eyes, enjoying the feel.

“I’m so glad you think so” Thor rumbled against his skin “I want you to”

“I assure you, I am” Loki smiled.

Chuckling, Thor moved over Loki, sliding his broad shouldered form completely over him and looked down at him.

“Permission to remove your tunic?”

“Are you going to act like a military serviceman the entire time?” Loki asked dryly

“Well,” Thor beamed “I am hoping for a missionary position this time”

“Oh norns, Thor” Loki groaned, a hand over his eyes.

Thor laughed, a deep, resonating sound that shook even Loki, before he smiled at him. Loki was smiling even as he pretended to hate it and Thor moved to straddle him, sitting on his knees as he reached for Loki’s tunic.

It was gone within moments and Loki’s body was displayed, ready for Thor to gaze upon. There was no shyness around the Jotun, he showed himself to Thor, hands holding the bedpost above him suggestively, his long, graceful body arched, just a little. It seemed effortless, but Thor knew he was enticing him with those supple little movements.

Thor was big, he was made for battle, for fighting, Loki was all grace and poise, the body of a dancer, the spirit of a fighter. It showed on his body, too.

Loki was an even pale compared to Thor’s battle worn, sun kissed skin and every ridge in his body showed the lean muscles he had. They were gentle, slim and absolutely beautiful; Thor’s heart started to pound faster as the sight of them, at the thought of his lips on each muscle, licking the dips and curves, tasting every single one of them on his tongue.

Loki seemed to know his intention and he smiled, slow and seductive “Am I the only one to be undressed?”

Thor lifted his gaze to those teasing eyes and smiled, shaking his head and moving his own hands to the edge of his tunic.

Loki’s eyes widened, his breath caught in his throat as he openly admired Thor’s body.

Strength, raw power and a beauty that surpassed any Loki had ever seen. As he removed his tunic, his body moved, swaying in a gentle movement that made his mouth water.

There was not a hint of fat about him, nothing to indicate that his size and strength was anything other than the pure muscles Loki saw. In the morning light, dimmed because of the curtains, Loki itched to touch him, to feel those large muscles beneath him, under him. They were bronzed with the sun, gold where Loki was silver. He was sculpted to perfection, made to worship and this sight wasn’t even the start.

Thor tossed the garment aside, shook his hair out and that was when Loki saw the masterpiece he truly was. Runes, black against his skin, coal against gold, marked him. In swirling, spiking patterns, they spread down his shoulder, filling up the skin of his arm down to his wrist, where they stopped. Words, forever etched into his skin, typed by the hand of a great worker, left there for eternity. They were beautiful and Loki’s eyes widened in wonder upon seeing them.

His deep laughter made Loki look up and Thor nodded to him “You can go ahead and touch them”

Oh, how Loki wanted to hear those words. He slid out from under Thor and got in his knees as well, looking at them, his mouth parted, looking like he was going to kiss them.

“Their tales” Loki whispered, pushing Thor’s hair off his shoulder “All of these, they are your tales”

Thor looked at him, eyes half lidded “Mine, aye. My conquests, put here for me and me alone.”

“And now me” Loki whispered, his breath hitting Thor’s shoulder, where a story swirled “I want to read them”

Thor smirked “Don’t get too excited…”

Loki looked at him, then frowned as Thor lifted his hair out of the way to show his neck and  Loki’s eyes turned shocked.

There were runes there too, once. Before his attack, before they were destroyed and Loki felt his mouth fall open a little in pain.

Thor’s skin was scarred, burned off and the new skin was taut, looking pulled too tightly. The runs that once inked there remained no longer and when Loki turned Thor, he let him. The Jotun felt his chest feel tight in pain when he saw more, ruined, scarred, burnt skin, the tattoos all gone, down, heading to the point where Thor’s pants hugged his waist, then lower, Loki was sure. Half his back burned, half his life stories gone, all of it filled with pain and agony.

“Acid” Thor told him, sliding an arm around Loki’s waist, pulling him close “poured on me by the sadistic husband of the woman I was sleeping with”

Loki looked at him, pressed against Thor, their eyes at the same level.

“But enough about that” Thor whispered “Right now, we enjoy each other”

Loki didn’t break eye contact with Thor as he was slowly pushed down to lay flat on his back and Thor climbed on top of him again. A thrill went through him when Thor placed his hands on either side of Loki’s head and lowered his head to gaze right into his eyes.

“Now,” Thor whispered “I will imprint what happens tonight into your skin so you won’t ever be able to forget it”

Loki swallowed heavily as Thor lowered his head to his chest and his eyes fell closed, a whimper escaping his lips at the hot, wet sensation.

***

It was like playing with thunder, Thor covered him, shook him, made him tremble and controlled him. And loved every second of it.

Loki was rather quiet in bed, he’d discovered, a trait that he hadn’t seen before. His sounds were muted, he spoke with his actions, his eyes and his body rather than his lips and Thor found it beautiful.

A flutter of his lashes, the way his eyes closed and his hands tightened, his fingers pulled, this was what Thor learned through and he kept working on him, making him hiss and gasp, sigh and whimper in pleasure.

His head lowered to Loki’s thighs, his hand stroked his length, slow, gentle, Thor was a master at this and Loki could hardly contain himself. His release shined on them both in the dim morning light, clung to the tips of Thor’s fingers like dew as he squeezed Loki, watching him arch his back with a choked off cry.

Beautiful.

He was so damn beautiful.

“Thor, please…” Loki begged, his own hands wrapped around Thor’s wrist, trying to make him more “Please…”

“In good time, dear heart” Thor promised with another kiss to the thigh “In good time”

Loki’s hair was stuck to his forehead, his face was red and he was panting, desperate for release. Thor nuzzled his thigh, then went lower and lower…

A sharp cry escaped Loki’s lips and he sobbed when Thor took him into his mouth.

“Thor…” Loki whined, letting his legs fall open.

Thor licked him first, slow, deliberately, his teeth barely touching him. His hands kept Loki’s legs where he wanted and he began to bob is head, taking Loki in and out, feeling those nimble fingers in his hair, pulling hard enough to sting.

He didn’t stop, not till he felt Loki cry, beg, plead, all in those deliciously soft tones, he didn’t stop. When Loki came, his back arched off the bed, his head tipped back to expose his neck and his hands yanked hard on Thor’s hair as Loki’s world turned white.

And Thor could watch it forever. He could watch the tired way Loki breathed, the hitch in his breath, the pliant limbs, slowly losing their power.

“Thor…” Loki whispered, his eyes closed “Thor…”

Wiping his lips, Thor chuckled when Loki reached down to the floor to pick up his trousers.

“No, no…” Thor said, reaching over to take his wrist in his hand “We aren’t done. You had your pleasure, now it’s my turn”

Loki looked at him over his shoulder, his eyes wide and round as Thor moved him to his front. He trembled, his gaze on the sheets as Thor draped himself over his back.

“Thor…” Loki’s voice was filled with apprehension “Thor, I’m not ready…”

“I’m not doing that” Thor started to bite and kiss his shoulder, his hand travelling down Loki’s arms to rest over his, just a moment before he linked their fingers together, holding tight “But I need some release, dear heart”

He covered him completely, leaving no room for Loki to move. He wasn’t joking when he said it – this was for him.

He saw Loki’s nervous expression and smiled down at him, giving him a peck to the cheek.

“Worry not” Thor whispered “I swore not to hurt you, I will not. Now …”

He lowered his head and whispered in his ear “Spread your legs”

Loki shuddered at the command and exhaled softly, closing his eyes when Thor brushed his hair off his face. He was shaking, there was no doubt about it, but Thor wasn’t going to hurt him.

He could feel how hard Thor was, that hot flesh rested against his thigh and Loki wondered what it would feel like inside him.

A brand, that’s what it would be, burning hot and…

“Go on” Thor cooed into his thoughts, rutting once against him.

Nodding, Loki focused on the way Thor nuzzled his shoulder and neck as he slowly parted his legs. It hit him how easily Thor could hold him down and take what he wanted, because it was difficult to move under that weight, but Loki managed, his hips rising a little as he did so and allowed Thor to slip between his slick, wet thighs.

“Good boy” Thor kissed his temple and grounded his hips against him.

Both of them groaned at the sensation, Loki’s eyes fell shut and Thor bit his lip as he rubbed against Loki’s underside, between his soft, beautiful cheeks. His hand moved downwards and Loki gasped loudly when it squeezed one of his globes hard, his nails digging in.

“Thor…” Loki moaned, a sound barely above a whisper.

Thor did it again, moving his own erection between Loki’s thighs, stroking against the soft, smooth flesh. His groans were deep, filled with pleasure and his hand gave Loki another squeeze, unable to resist touching him like this, unable to resist hearing that sweet, gentle cry again.

It made Loki start to get hard again and he whined softly, setting his head on the bed beneath him and moving back against Thor.

“When I take you for the first time” Thor panted in his ear “It won’t be like this, it will be face to face so I see every expression you make, so I see how you pant, the shape of your lips, the way your eyes flutter…”

Thor broke off, hissing in pleasure and pushing down harder against Loki.

“After that,” Thor smiled “After that, yes, it will be like this, it will be much better, more ways you will enjoy and cry over…you won’t regret it”

Loki moved back against him, with every thrust Thor gave, Loki matched it, whispering words Thor couldn’t understand over his own deep, short cries. Thor felt amazing, Loki’s skin, his scent, his sounds, everything was beautiful and he lowered his head to nip and bite along his shoulder as he moved his large body against him again and again.

The muscles in his back worked, the skin glistening with perspiration as he continued, rubbing against Loki, making him push back.

“I’m close…” Loki whispered, looking at him over his shoulder, trying to find a way to increase the friction “Thor, I’m close…”

Smiling, Thor moved his hand from Loki’s bottom to his groin and enjoyed the moan Loki gave, a mere escape of his sigh, pitched just a little louder, when Thor wrapped his fingers around him. He rut against him harder, getting a little more demanding and it proved too much for Loki, who was already at the brink of it.

Thor felt Loki come in his hand and his own release followed after a frustratingly long time of holding back.

Loki went limp beneath him and as Thor lay over him, refusing to move, he decided that next time would be much, much different.

***

There was something to be said about a contented and sated Loki and all of it was lovely.

Damp and clingy from their bath, the two were finding it difficult to separate now. They had taken it together, then had been unable to keep from kissing, despite the fact that Loki had said he was too tired to move.

Whether someone had asked about them or not, they didn’t know, but as Thor lay there, bare to the waist on the floor by the fire, he found he didn’t care. Loki was draped over him, his finger moving over the swirls as he lay facing Thor, his green eyes reading the stories on Thor’s chest.

It was one of the most endearing things Thor, to have that fingertip move over his tattoos, to see the way Loki cocked his head to the side to read or the way he unconsciously mouthed the words he read.

 Occasionally, Thor felt Loki wave his feet in the air and he chuckled when he saw him curl and uncurl his toes when he came to an exciting part of the tale.

To Thor, the stories were plain, written in poetry, they described how he’d won wars and how he’d made himself the name he was.

The one Loki was currently reading, Thor remembered well. He remembered dictating the words to be written to the artist who made these tattoos and he remembered her jotting it down before she applied it to his skin.

_‘By treacherous viles, bespake thee_

_By wit thee betray me_

_Riddles spew right and gold_

_More wealth of wisdom old_

_I lacked where thou knowest all_

_Answer me, Alvis, ye know it all’_

Loki’s finger stopped there and Thor, who lay with his arm pillowing his head, reached over to play with his hair. He watched Loki try to understand why it ended so abruptly and smiled when those green eyes met his

“What does this mean?” Loki asked “It just stopped”

“Tis a short tale” Thor told him “I write about what changed me or affected me and this small, short story was one of them.”

“The dwarf told you to take gold for every riddle you answered correctly” Loki looked at his chest and touched the spot where it said so “But then … then it starts praising him”

“Because I answered no riddle correctly” Thor rubbed a lock of Loki’s hair between his thumb and forefinger “and I ended up realizing that his wisdom was far beyond my own and gave him the praise he deserved. It etched it on my skin, to remind myself that dwarves, though annoying and downright rotten, are not all the same. Alvis was one of a kind”

“And thus worthy of being inked into your skin and memory” Loki smiled “I like it”

Thor grinned and snickered softly, then raised his brows “Are you finished for the day? Your book would like to eat something”

“If my book wasn’t so interesting, I would get off him instantly”

“Alas, the allure of a good book” Thor put his hand behind Loki’s head and brought him in for a short kiss “has to end sometime, get off”

Loki huffed as he was unceremoniously dumped on the rug and Thor sat up. He popped his back and stretched a few times, then got to his feet.

“Would lunch be set yet?” he asked, holding a hand out for Loki.

“I don’t know, I don’t live here” Loki pulled himself up, then nodded a thanks to Thor “And I am eager to return to the cabin”

“Me too, if I were honest” Thor told him “This place is – stifling”

“It really is” Loki gave him a look “Come, then, we brought nothing and should leave with nothing – and Mother”

“Ah, the charming woman” Thor smiled, going to where he threw his tunic “She loves you so much”

“She hardly has a choice, she is stuck with me” Loki told him from where he was putting his slippers on.

“The poor lady” Thor pushed his arms into his tunic, then his head “I should take her to Asgard”

“And close the bifrost, just to be safe”

“Of course” Thor grinned, he couldn’t seem to stop “Now come on, burden, we should feast and leave”

“Can’t we leave, then feast?” Loki asked “Ruben is alone”

“Ruben is never alone” Thor told him “He has his demon minions to take care of him”

Loki snorted and shook his head as Thor headed to the door, even picking his hammer up. The moment he did, the magical aura around him increased and even Loki felt the thrumming in him.

It was amazing.

Thor looked behind him as Loki took his time in walking and held out a hand, pulling him close to him when Loki took it. Thor put his arm around him and headed out into the hallways.

There were a lot of staff members cleaning up and were happy to point them to the dining hall where King Laufey, Lady Farbauti and Lord Thrym were already dining. Thor noticed the way Loki tensed at the mention of Laufey and gave him an affectionate shake as they went in.

There was no one other than the three in there and Farbauti stood to meet them as the other two got to their feet as well. From their platters, they had only just started.

“You’re awake, my darling” Farbauti walked to Loki, throwing her arms around him.

Thor politely let her, but saw her hold out a hand, which he hesitantly took, then almost yelped as he was pulled into the embrace, too.

“Greetings of the _afternoon_ , dears” Farbauti placed a kiss on both their heads, then stepped back “Come, we will have plates set for you”

Thor smiled and walked in, but felt it waver when he saw Thrym avert his gaze. Norns, this was going to be awkward, more so since Laufey was there, too, having heard the entire tale, no doubt.

“King Jotunhiem” Thor bowed his head and Loki went to sit with Farbauti.

Laufey ignored the very public snub and bowed to Thor “Prince Asgard. I have heard much about you”

“Does it involve dresses and a veil?” Thor asked, looking a little chagrined.

“Couldn’t be helped” Laufey smiled, then gestured to the chair next to him “Sit, dine with us”

“Thank you” Thor smiled, wider, when he saw Thrym discreetly give up the chair he had for Thor and sit before Loki “How do you fare?”

“Well enough for a man my age” Laufey said, waiting for the servants to place Thor’s platter before him “Eager to go to the palace and rest. You, of course, shall be my guests”

Thor’s eyes widened and he looked at Loki, who looked like he was about to shake his head, but stopped when Farbauti kicked him under the table none too subtly.

“I would be honoured” Thor said, taking the devilled eggs Laufey extended to him “There is a matter of a cabin we took when we got here and a pet we left there unattended. I’m worried about him”

Loki slit his gaze at him at using Ruben so blatantly but Thor chose not to respond to it.

“That can be easily dealt with” Laufey smiled “Just tell my men where it is and they will have everything, including your pet, brought over safe and sound”

There was little Thor could say after that, so he stayed silent and watched, instead, the way Loki tried not to stab his food.

Laufey took his attention after that and a pleasant discussion started until it was broken by the doors opening yet again.

“Ah, there he is” Laufey called to someone behind Thor “You know, as Prince Regent, you should at least try to be on time, Hel”

Helblindi, future King of Jotunhiem and three years Loki’s senior, walked in and closed the door.

“You have no idea the kind of night I had” Helblindi said

“And you will keep it to yourself, we have guests” Laufey said deftly, eating his hashbrowns “So try to find your manners”

“I have none, I was raised by you, remember?” Helblindi came over to kiss Laufey on the head “No butter, old man, you know what you have to avoid”

He slid the butter away from the King, who didn’t like it one bit, then looked to Thor.

“Prince Asgard!” Helblindi grinned “I saw you last night, you have impressive lungs, my friend, everyone was deafened by your mighty indignant screaming”

Thor gave up trying to possess any grace and shook Helblindi’s hand firmly “I have done worst things, I will confess”

“Really?” Helblindi smiled, coming to nudge Thrym off his chair and taking his place beside Thor “Tell me all. But first, I have a lot of questions about Asgard”

Laufey groaned “Hel, now is not the time…”

“Hush, eat your food, Father” Helblindi told him over his shoulder “Alright, Thor…”

Loki raised a brow, fork halfway to his mouth as he watched Thor lean back when Helblindi moved closer.

“How does the shield over the palace work?” Helblindi asked “Is it like ours? Ours is powered by a small device within our safe.”

“Really?” Thor blinked “Ours is much the same. What of your vessels? Do you fly them yet?”

“Oh, we don’t have vessels” Hellbindi sat back “We have Yaks. We ride them into battle”

“What if you have airborne enemies?” Thor asked.

“Oh” Helblindi grinned “Oh, that you must see for yourself”

“His pride and glory” Laufey droned “The one thing he did in his old age”

“Old age?” Helblindi gasped, a complete picture of affront “How dare you? Do you know with whom you speak?”

“A whiny peasant?” Laufey asked, forking up his meal.

“A future King!” Helblindi gasped “You’re losing your memory”

“You’re losing your head” Laufey said “Why are you so calm when the Aesir are here? Aren’t they forbidden?”

Thor tensed instantly, looking at Loki, who looked just as worried, but Helblindi merely scoffed.

“As if we even follow that rule, they go in an out all the time” Helblindi sat properly in his chair “Hand me the eggs, please, Thor”

Thor did so and watched as Helblindi filled his plate up.

“As I was saying” Helblindi said “After breakfast, would you three like to accompany us to the palace?”

“I already invited them” Laufey cut in.

“You probably made the situation awkward till they agreed, then insisted like the socially inept thing you are” Helblindi told him.

Laufey snarled at him, muttering something too soft for anything to hear, then went back to his meal.

Thor pulled his lips inwards to keep from chuckling and Loki rolled his eyes. Farbauti was smiling and Thrym was bored, possibly waiting to be kicked off the table entirely.

“So” Helblindi said, smiling at Loki “What say you, brother?”

Loki froze and Thor frowned, his body tensing.

“What?” Thor asked, sitting up.

Laufey and Helblindi dropped their taunting, insulting air and Thrym looked interested.

Loki was the centre of attention all of a sudden and he looked hunted.

“I – I can explain” Loki said softly “It’s not what you think”

“Half brother” Helblindi placed a hand on Thor’s shoulder “My father and Lady Farbauti were paramours. Father couldn’t wed her since he was already married, but … But aye, Loki is his son”

Thor’s eyes went from Helblindi back to Loki and his jaw was grit.

“You told me your father died” Thor growled.

“Can we do this later, in private, please?” Loki asked.

“You lied to me” Thor told him, his hand clenching a little “You lied about who you were”

“My father, the man who raised me died” Loki said “He is my Sire”

“A very important terminology if you think about it, isn’t it?” Thor sneered.

“Thor” Laufey’s voice was stern “Calm down, this is nothing to be upset about”

“I do not like being lied to, my lord” Thor told him bluntly “Less so when it is someone whom I trust who lies to me”

With that, Thor pushed his chair back and stood, then nodded to Laufey and Helblindi.

“It was a pleasure to meet you, but if you excuse me, I wish to have a walk”

“Thor” Loki called, standing up, too “Thor, wait”

Thor didn’t. He turned and stormed away, leaving them behind in his anger and the rumbling of thunder somewhere above them.

***

 Loki sat alone in his taken chambers, his face in his hands.

He had pretended to be strong earlier, pretended Thor’s angry departure hadn’t disturbed him and even consoled his mother when she appeared upset. Laufey has also tried to help but Loki didn’t much respond to him.

He was, after all, the man who’d had his father killed.

Afterwards, he’d asked for privacy and Helblindi had been considerate enough to tell him that he will ensure Thor won’t leave. He’d gone with him to show him how to ride a Yak, something that would take the edge off the Aesir prince.

Loki had been relieved and thanked him tersely so he could head to the chambers. Once there, Loki’s façade crumpled and he placed a hand on his head, wondering why the hell he never told Thor.

No wonder he was angry, the man was probably thinking Loki had an agenda.

It was, after all, a sudden change in his response to Thor’s touches.

He wouldn’t believe the truth, not now.

That Loki longed for Thor and that the way Thor slept holding him that night was the most wonderful feeling Loki had ever experienced. He’d felt cherished, he’d felt loved by someone other than his mother, even if it wasn’t the truth.

That the loneliness he’d felt all his life had been pushed away and Loki was desperate for something like that, he really was. And Thor was so eager to give it to him, so Loki just took.

For once, he just took.

It was pathetic, no doubt about it, but there was only so much loneliness he could take before he truly went mad. And perhaps he wanted to have someone touch him and take away the tainted feelings left by his time with Taneleer.

Perhaps he could have a chance at a normal life when people knew he was good enough for the Prince of Asgard and wouldn’t think of him as an escaped Ware.

Rarely letting himself feel his true feelings, Loki had felt his hope collapse when Thor had left, when he’d seen the anger on his face. And all for what? Something Loki forgot to tell him?

Would Thor even believe him?

Loki didn’t know and that was why, when he was alone, he gave in to his despair, to the fact that he was pathetic and to the realization that Thor wouldn’t come back to him.

He’d ruined it.

He spent a few hours in self loathing before he decided to stop and do something, anything. It was getting dark and the balcony doors were opened, letting in a cold wind that Loki wanted to stop.

So, wiping his face of the few stray tears upon his cheeks and brushing his hair back, Loki pushed himself to his feet and turned to the balcony.

And stopped.

Standing there, looking at him in this state, Thor was as still as stone. His blue eyes were looking at Loki’s face, his rumpled clothing, his sad eyes and the vulnerability he saw in him.

He didn’t say a word and Loki gulped, then walked to him.

“Thor, you have to let me explain” he said, hands extended “I know its stupid, but I forgot to tell you. I wasn’t lying, I wasn’t trying to deceive you, I swear”

Thor looked at him up and down, slowly, once more taking in what he looked like. It made Loki want to fidget.

“I didn’t …”

“I know” Thor whispered, sighing “I talked to Laufey, and Helblindi …and your mother …Thrym…”

Loki blinked at him, stunned.

“They told me the same” Thor said, taking a step closer “That you never considered the King your father and that the man who raised you was the only man worthy of the title”

Loki watched Thor take another step, then another to him till he stopped right next to him.

“I’m sorry” Thor said, gently taking Loki’s hands in his own “for leaving and not listening to you”

His thumbs stroked Loki’s fingers and he brought them to his lips to kiss.

“And to show you how sorry I am…” Thor sighed “I brought this”

He looked over his shoulder and Loki followed his gaze, gasping when he saw the fat headed, ugly, fanged cat behind Thor.

“Ruben!” Loki smiled, going to him “You fool, I missed you”

Ruben expressed no such emotion, but approved of the way Loki held him to his chest and nuzzled the top of his head. He levelled a bug eyed look at Thor and let out a fat meow.

“Aye, aye, whatever you say, bloody git” Thor tossed Mjolnir aside and went to the bed “He’s an idiot, Loki, he had slept the entire time he was gone”

“He’s a majestic beast and I adore him” Loki kissed Ruben on the head, much to Thor’s disgust “Thank you”

“Don’t thank me” Thor raised a hand “Just keep him off me when we sleep”

Loki only hummed in laughter and held Ruben to him, then let him explore. The cat did little exploring, but he stopped by Thor’s hammer.

“Keep him off that” Thor warned “He’s not worthy”

“Oh, nothing will happ-”

Loki was cut off by a sharp buzz and a shriek from Ruben, then Thor’s roaring laughter.

“ _Ruben_!”

Ruben stood there, puffed up, electrified and glaring very angrily at Mjolnir, stunned by the static he’d been hit with. His yellow and ginger fur stood on end and he looked like an angry, furry ball more than anything else, which made Thor double over in laughter.

“Look at his face!” Thor cackled, falling on the bed, pointing at Ruben “He’s so _angry_!”

Ruben growled and turned away from Mjolnir, going before the fire to lick and fix his statically charged, standing on end hair.

“You deserved it” Loki muttered to him “don’t touch that thing”

Thor was still laughing and when Loki walked over, the prince wiped his eyes and lay on the pillows, snickering.

“Oh norns” Thor snickered “Oh, I didn’t even know how much I wanted to see that till I saw it”

“Really?” Loki asked dryly “Is your humour so easily stoked?”

“That was hilarious, Loki, I will cherish it forever” Thor told him.

“You’re so petty” Loki huffed, shaking his head “I have to tend to him”

He grunted in surprise when Thor grabbed his wrist and yanked him back, rolling them till Loki was beneath him on the bed, looking at him with wide eyes.

“I haven’t apologized properly” Thor told him, brushing Loki’s hair from his eyes.

“Oh?” Loki smiled “haven’t you?”

“Nay” Thor shook his head “Do you want me to?”

“If it’s something like I’m imagining, I really do” Loki slid his arms around Thor’s neck.

Thor smiled and kissed the tip of his nose “I’m sorry, Loki”

“You’re forgiven, Thor” Loki smiled, playing with his hair where it touched his hands “And thank you for brining that thing back”

“He dug his claws into me the entire flight back, you know, it wasn’t easy” Thor told him.

Loki stared “You _flew_ him over? No wonder he hates you”

“I don’t much care” Thor kissed his jaw “For I have other things in mind”

“Do continue” Loki hummed, tipping his head back “I like where this is going”

Thor growled in laughter and Ruben looked up from where he was, watching the two share kisses and sweet touches.

He went back to his grooming, too superior by far to care much about them and managed to fix his fur as best he could. It looked intimidating once more, so once he was sufficiently warmed by the fire and the two on the bed were taken in by their passion, Ruben turned swiftly on his tail to go to them.

The bed was moving, he could hear their primal noises and crouched low, spying the end of the Golden One’s leg. He waited until it moved close enough and leapt up to it, claws extended.

“Argh! Damn it, _Ruben_!”

Thor’s shout was accompanied by a gasp, then Ruben was lifted off and deposited to the ground.

“Dumb cat” Loki muttered, pulling the covers over them.

Ruben wasn’t offended, he was patient and once they stopped moving, he hopped back on the bed and joined in their loving embrace as they two snuggled and whispered to one another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real life hit hard. But it's over and I will update sooner!
> 
> Thanks and love!


	15. Addiction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And Thor was addicted from the first hitch in his breath.

“You know, when I thought about living in a large ice palace and waking up next to you,  I didn’t expect this”

Thor’s sleep muffled voice came from beside him and Loki turned his head, pulling his lips inwards to keep from laughing out loud.

Nay, his voice was sleep muffled. It was Ruben muffled.

The cat, the right demon was curled up on Thor’s face as the prince slept on his side, his back to Loki. He’d been cold last night and thought he’d pulled the fur over his face but when he woke, the fur was very much alive and flicking its tail lazily into his eye.

Not the ideal way to wake up, as adorable as it was.

Thor sighed “We’ve talked about this, Ruben. I need my face in the mornings”

Loki snorted and shook his head, reaching over to take the cat off Thor. And Ruben proved himself lazier than any cat Loki had ever seen since he stayed asleep during his shift, simply changing into a more comfortable position when Loki set him in his lap.

Thor grunted as he sat up, brushing off the cat hair from his beard, looking very much like a large cat himself and Loki placed the book down, admiring Thor’s muscled back and arms.

“What an image” Loki sighed, head cocked to the side, biting his lip when Thor pushed the furs off and got out of bed.

His sleep trousers hung low on his hips and Loki could look at the way those hipbones protruded forever. Thor, of course knew, which was the reason why he stretched so wonderfully for Loki, even bending over to touch his toes and almost making Loki hiss in desire.

It was payback, Loki reasoned, for letting Ruben torture Thor.

He watched as Thor pretended to ignore Loki and went to the bathing chambers, closing the door behind him with a delicate thud.

The door, like most in the Jotunhiem palace, was carved out of crystal, frosted over to give privacy and engraved with the emblem that Laufey had taken.

And despite his hesitance to like his Sire, his son or his wife, was enjoying their first day – and night – in here. It was grand, beautiful and with servants at his beck and call Loki found it hard to want to leave and easy to listen to Farbauti’s wishes to stay here – despite her never actually saying it.

He wasn’t a fool, he knew she still harboured feelings for the King and that the two of them perhaps hoped to rekindle their ill-fated love. Loki knew there was a chance now that Laufey had given not one but two wonderful heirs and that his Queen was content with him having another as long as she was allowed to.

After the dinner last night, Loki had immediately fallen for Queen Irpa – but not in a romantic way. She reminded him a lot of himself and he couldn’t help the smile that came to his face the moment Irpa stood to welcome them from their journey.

“Tis about time, you idiot” she smiled at Laufey, then held out a hand “Kiss the hand and you may be allowed to go in”

Laufey gave her a stoic, patient look and did as he was bid and Loki watched her extend the hand to Helblindi and then Thor and Loki, all of them bestowing a kiss to her royal hand.

Then and only then, did she turn her attention to Farbauti.

Irpa was a complete opposite of Farbauti. She had long white hair, beautiful blue eyes and in another time and place perhaps Laufey _would_ have fallen for her. She was, after all, a deity in her own right, brought from the far reaches of Jotunhiem and the daughter of a Vanir King who married his Jotun lover.

“You’re Farbauti” she smiled, looking her over “My husband has talked about you much in the duration of our marriage, I imagined you differently but you have surpassed that greatly.”

“My Queen, you are too generous” Farbauti bowed, but Irpa stopped her.

“That is for those beneath me” Irpa said, her voice as gentle as a feather upon one’s skin “my all means, you are no ordinary lady.”

Her blue eyes went to Loki and then Thor.

“You are her son” Irpa said, then gestured to Thor “And this is…?”

“I’m Loki, my Lady” Loki bowed his head, then looked at Thor, taking his hand “This is Thor, my – my intended”

Thor smirked and gave Loki’s hand a squeeze while Irpa smiled.

“Thor of Asgard” Irpa greeted “I’m meeting a future King, then”

“A good King, I hope” Thor, too, bowed his head “Queen Irpa, it is an honor”

“Of course it is” Irpa smiled, then looked at Helblindi “Have their rooms prepared and dinner set. All of you must be exhausted”

“If _all_ of us are exhausted, then why are you ordering _me_ about?” Helblindi challenged.

“Because I own you” Irpa told him plainly “And until I die, you will do as I ask or pay for it”

“Threatening little…” Helblindi began, only to break off, running scared when Irpa took a step towards him “I’m going, I’m leaving..!”

Thor and Loki shared an amused look and Laufey held out his arm for Irpa.

“Have you been well, Lady?” he asked softly “As I have enjoyed myself with a thousand women?”

Irpa instantly looped her arm with Farbauti’s, not leaving her out of it as the trio led the way in.

“I have been well, knowing you were finally with a thousand women so I can be free of your failed attempts at romance” Irpa retorted “A woman can only feign so much, you know”

Laufey inclined his jaw and Farbauti turned red in the face, looking to Loki and Thor for help. They joined them, snickering as they followed them and earning a glare from Farbauti.

“I have been with my friends most of the time” Irpa said “Things are interesting when the husbands are out of the way, you know”

“If I didn’t know better, I would think you were plotting to kill me” Laufey said

“I’m always plotting to kill you, you old ice cube” Irpa snorted “Have you only just realized?”

“Demon woman”

“Savage bastard”

Farbauti didn’t really know what to say and walked with them awkwardly as they led the way inside. She was starting to think this was a mistake when Irpa excused herself from them.

“They are to have the west wing, darling” Irpa told Laufey “I will have dinner seen to since Helblindi cannot be trusted so you may rest for an hour. Farbauti dear, I will send you a few lovely dresses from the tailor’s shop in case you want them, I am sure Laufey’s taste in clothes is horrendous, looking at what he gave you”

“I’m right here, you know” Laufey muttered “And I buy all your clothes”

“You pay for them, I buy them, there is a difference” Irpa said, taking Farbauti’s hands in hers “Goodbye, my lady, I will see you at dinner”

She gave Farbauti a peck on the cheek, bowed to the boys and headed out, her hips swaying.

Loki narrowed his eyes when Laufey stepped closer to Farbauti and slid an arm around her waist, watching his wife leave.

“You told her about me?” Farbauti asked, looking up at him.

“I was heart broken” Laufey whispered, brushing her hair back “I didn’t think, forgive me….are you angry I did?”

“No” Farbauti smiled at him, shook her head “Don’t be sorry. Thank you – for telling her”

Loki let out a growl and Thor tugged on his hand, making him step back and look at him. He was about to say something but Thor shook his head and nodded to the side, to the ‘west wing’.

He sighed, giving his mother a look as she started to get lost in Laufey’s eyes.

Loki didn’t resent her at all, he was just wary of the King.

They had then been escorted to the west wing when they lost their way and the two of them took a long, hot bath, changed into the clothes they had with them and headed off to dinner. Once more escorted, they had a lovely dinner.

It was lovely and Loki would have enjoyed it better had Thor’s hand not suddenly appeared on his thigh halfway through. Loki only just managed to stop himself from jumping or from giving Thor a look but he couldn’t stop the way his body tensed as Thor seemed to take it as a challenge.

Loki knew, from experience, that Thor could use his fingers very well and it didn’t surprise him the way Thor slowly drew random patterns that trailed closer and closer to his groin. Of course, as they almost did, Loki crossed his legs and trapped Thor’s hand, earning a soft rumbling chuckle from the man beside him. He gave no outwardly response and for a few seconds, Loki could almost see him thinking, see him working out how to solve this.

Then he did.

Loki pretended he’d choked on water and turned his groan into a cough when Thor squeezed his thigh,  hard enough to have Loki jerk and pull away.

The bastard!

Irpa was the one to notice and frowned “Loki, are you well?”

“Aye” he said, hoarsely, ignoring how Thor was smiling as he sipped his wine “Just water went down the wrong way, Lady”

Laufey raised a brow and Farbauti looked like she wanted to kick him under the table again. She knew what was happening and it made Loki blush.

Of course, after that, Thor was rubbing his foot up and down Loki’s leg but Loki could handle that. He turned his attention mostly to Irpa, who was now talking to Farbauti.

“That dress looks lovely on you” Irpa said “If it weren’t for my husband I would be jealous”

Farbauti raised her brows and Loki tried not to gape.

The Queen was flirting with his mother and oh, Loki had to get away!

“I knew there was a reason you gave her those gorgeous dresses” Laufey growled “Keep away and behave, lady, you’re being inappropriate”

“Lots of people like that, you know” Irpa winked at him and Farbauti bit her lip to keep from smiling.

“Well, at the moment, let’s keep it child friendly, at least till the boys leave” Laufey smirked.

Helblindi rolled his eyes and a few moments later, he looked to the door, smiling.

“There she is!” he called “By By”

Byleistr, younger to Helblindi and possessing all the beauty her mother had, all the strength her father had and all the patience her brother forced her to keep by her side, Byleistr walked in. She wore a stunning dress of blue and gold, which made Thor raise a brow, following her with his eyes as she went to take her blessings from the King and Queen.

Loki’s eyes were on Thor, looking at him as he studied Byliestr’s curves and his heart gave a painful jolt.

It hurt, the thought of Thor leaving him for her, for anyone and Loki forced himself to turn away and look at his dinner, which suddenly felt like burning hot coal when he swallowed.

Byleistr stood from her graceful bow to Irpa and looked at Farbauti.

“Lady Fari” she smiled, coming, once again to bow before her “I have heard so much about you from my father, I was eager to meet”

“Eager to meet because she wants proof Father is romantic!” Helblindi called out “She’s got her head in the clouds, Lady”

Farbaui rolled her eyes at him, then looked at Byleistr “It is a pleasure to meet you, dear. I have often seen you when your delegation visits but lacked the chance to meet. I did, however, see all the swooning Jotuns left behind you”

Byleistr grinned “Then I did my job well”

She stood and then finally turned to Thor and Loki.

“My Prince” she nodded her head to Thor “And Sir Loki”

There was no judgement in her eyes and Stood got to his feet for her, taking her hand in his and kissing it.

“Princess” Thor smiled “Tis an honour to meet. Perhaps if you would be kind enough to escort me around the palace later? I seem to get lost a lot”

Byleistr smiled “I’m sure you can find your way back yourself, excellent tracker that you are”

Thor’s face went slack and Loki tried to deny the relief he felt, putting on a greeting smile when Byleistr turned to him.

“Loki” she waited for him to stand “You’re my brother…my half brother?”

“I – I am a…”

Loki grunted when she threw her arms around his neck, holding him tightly, leaving Thor staring. Carefully, he put her arms around him, loose enough to let her go back and not seem too awkward.

“I heard what happened” she whispered “I’m so sorry”

Loki felt at a loss. He didn’t expect this, he didn’t know how to react.

But Byleistr pulled away and put a hand on his shoulder.

“I have been telling Father to let us meet for years” she told him “He never listens, neither did Hel. Then you vanished and …”

She closed her eyes and sighed, taking a moment before she looked back at him.

“I’m very happy to see you are well” she said “I hate that monster, Taneleer. Those who were freed told us of the atrocities in the dungeons, I can’t imagine what he did otherwise.”

“It’s in the past, my lady” Loki said softly “But I am honoured by your concern”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t get those pig headed men to listen to sense till now” Byleistr told him.

Laufey had the grace to blush and Irpa smirked when Helblindi looked at his dinner.

“You know if women ruled here, things would be different” Irpa announced “There would be more sense, for one thing”

“Aye, families wouldn’t be torn apart” Byleistr turned to sit on her seat “positions would be given on merit alone”

“And there would be better healthcare” Farbauti added “Men have no idea how a woman’s body really works”

“I understand!” Laufey said, breaking his silence “I think I understand very well”

“Do you?” Irpa asked “Do you know what happens to me every month?”

Laufey blinked while Thor, Loki and Helblindi were suddenly very interested in their food. Byleistr took her seat and watched the scene before them.

“Your special red time?” Laufey ventured.

Giving him a dry glare, Irpa shook her head at him “Hopeless fool. I should kill you and rule”

“For once I am relieved to hear you say that” Laufey breathed out “Please pass By the roast, she is fond of it”

Thor smirked “A woman with a hearty appetite. I approve”

“Approve away from afar, Thor” Byleistr said “I am not interested”

“Yet” Thor winked “my lady”

If anyone thought anything of the exchange, they said nothing, but Irpa was quick to point out how Thor was flirting while Loki sat right there and that warmed Loki’s suddenly tight heart.

Thor stopped, but his eyes went to Byleistr more than once and Loki felt more and more sick each time.

After dinner, Loki was quick to excuse himself and was heading back, almost to their chambers when he heard his name called.

“Loki!” Thor jogged after him “Loki, wait!”

Loki didn’t. He strode faster and reached the door, opening and moving inside to lock it so Thor couldn’t enter. He was upset and he wanted to be alone. But he’d barely touched the key when the door was pushed open and Loki was nudged back to allow Thor inside.

“Loki, I was calling you” he frowned a little “Let me explain”

“You have nothing to explain” Loki said quickly, looking at the ground “Ours is not a sentimental arrangement, Thor. It’s alright”

“Is it?” Thor asked, softly shutting the door “by the look on your face, I think not”

“It what we agreed, it doesn’t matter” Loki whispered, stepping back as Thor approached “You are in your rights to flirt, despite what Queen Irpa says”

“My rights do not allow me to hurt your feelings” Thor said, watching Loki retreat.

He knew he was running out of space a second before Loki did and he saw those green, beautiful eyes look up at him when his back suddenly hit the wall. He saw pain in them, pain _he’d_ put there and Thor sighed.

“I was trying…” he sighed “I was stupidly trying to … to lead up to our ‘breaking’, Loki. It wasn’t real. It came to me then and I didn’t realize how it could hurt you. I’ll be gone soon, there will be questions, I was just trying to give you answers to use, to make me the bad person so no one questions you”

His hands moved up to cradle Loki’s jaw and made him look up at him, made himself look into those hurt, beautiful eyes.

“I’m sorry” Thor whispered.

A heavy ball of lead was sitting in Loki’s gut at the mention of Thor leaving. He was right, he would leave soon, this would be over, why was Loki so upset. Why couldn’t he control himself? Why was Thor so important to him?

Loki didn’t know, he knew he was not in love with him, but he harboured affection and the loss was already settling upon him.

“I’m sorry” Thor said again, stroking his jaw “I’m so sorry, Loki”

He kissed Loki’s forehead and Loki shut his eyes, letting Thor hold him afterwards. He kissed his cheek and made to step back, feeling like he was imposing, but Loki’s hands latched on to his clothes and kept him in place.

When he looked back at the Jotun, the prince found himself pulled into a soft kiss. Thor held Loki’s biceps as the man deepened the kiss and put his arms around Thor’s neck to pull him closer.

They lingered over the kiss, Thor pressed Loki against the wall and ended up lifting him up easily. A thrill went through Loki at the feeling of being picked up and pressed against the wall like that and he wrapped his legs around Thor.

“Bed” he panted loudly when Thor kissed down his neck, opening and moving his collar down his shoulder so Thor should bite it “Apologize to me better over there”

Thor chuckled and pulled Loki from the wall, moaning at the feel of Loki nipping at his shoulders and running his fingers through his hair as he did so, till they reached the bed. He tossed Loki upon it and the two of them were naked not ten minutes later.

A love session had started where Thor used his mouth and fingers on Loki until Loki was a weeping, crying mess, pleading for release that drove Thor on.

Like last time, Thor didn’t take him, but he thrust against him till he came, making Loki’s thighs glisten with their spend before they could sleep.

And if Ruben was scandalized, there was nothing that could be done. Thor had scars on his leg to prove he deserved it.

Loki was sore where Thor had bitten and grabbed him, but it was a feeling he cherished even now as the prince strode back out of his bath and smiled at him.

***

The knowledge that Loki was there beneath the furs, waiting for him had Thor growling. Like him, last night Loki had felt cold enough to redress after their session and Thor decided he didn’t like it.

He saw that damned cat sleeping beside Loki and saw him put the book aside, knowing what was coming that just excited Thor further.

“Good morning, my dear” Thor smiled, striding over.

Loki’s heart started to race as he watched Thor crawl on the bed before him, his shoulders and hips moving in such a predatory fashion he could scarcely breathe. He gasped when Thor pushed the furs off him, grabbed his ankles and yanked him beneath him, spreading his legs on either side of his tapered waist.

His large hands rested beside Loki’s head and he smiled.

“Greet me proper” he ordered, lowering his head to Loki’s throat and starting to place open mouthed kisses there.

Loki’s eyes slid shut and he moaned softly, his hands immediately going to bury in Thor’s hair “Thor…”

“Properly” Thor smirked, licking Loki’s neck with the flat of his tongue “Touch me, Loki. Now”

Loki let out a whimper he would never admit to when Thor bit his skin hard after the command and his hands went over Thor’s skin, raking his back with his nails when Thor ground against him.

“You’re so beautiful like this” Thor panted, rubbing against Loki’s erection “Open and vulnerable…”

Loki arched against him and Thor moved back, slowly, till he was able to slip Loki’s sleep trousers off. He tossed them aside and grabbed Loki’s leg in his hand, kissing his calf, biting his knee, then moving higher till he could nibble on the tender skin of his thigh.

Leaving himself to opened had Loki hissing and whining softly in pleasure and Thor revelled in it. He loved seeing Loki like this and he placed his knee on his shoulder, using his hands to please Loki again.

“When you’re ready…” Thor panted, stroking Loki to hardness, feeling his hand turn slick “I’ll make you scream”

Loki arched his back and choked when Thor gave him a hard squeeze.

“Thor…”

“You whisper it now” Thor told him, looming over him, moving to bury his lips into Loki’s throat “Soon you’ll be louder”

Thor started to work on him, using his hands to get Loki dripping with his spend, then lubricating his fingers on the oil they had with them. It was sweet, scented and perfect for making Loki keen.

Thor dipped his fingers in it and Loki watched, watched the gold fluid drip off his fingers obscenely. Not two minutes later, he cried out, his eyes squeezing shut, his hands pulling at Thor’s hair as the man slipped his fingers into him.

Loki clenched around him and let out a desperate sound when Thor scissored his fingers open inside him.

He couldn’t speak and Thor kissed him, drinking in moan after moan as he pushed his fingers in deep, trying to locate that spot inside Loki, that bundle of nerves that made him cry. He had brushed against it last night and left Loki thrashing his head, moving down against his hand.

Now, now he was going to show Loki what it truly felt like.

Loki had done this before but never like this Angrboda was more concerned with that he could take from him than anything else. He used Loki’s body, leaving marks, leaving Loki unpleased.

He took for himself, but Thor…Thor gave. Oh, how well he gave, Loki didn’t know it could be like this.

He felt full and he knew it was nothing compared to when Thor truly took him, when he took what Loki was denying him so far. It made him shudder in excitement.

His back arched and he tilted his head back, his lips parted to help him breathe.

And then, came from him the sound Thor had been waiting for.

“Oh, _yes_ …” Loki’s heated gasp filled the air and drive Thor on.

His fingers were close, so close to what he wanted, Loki didn’t know, all he did was buck his hips, his thigh quivering against Thor’s shoulder.

Then it happened.

And Thor was addicted from the first hitch in his breath.

Loki’s eyes went back and his breath caught in his throat in an exquisite little gasp when Thor’s finger pressed against the bundle of nerves, touching that sweet spot inside.

“Thor!”

It was a breathless plea and Thor was eager to respond to it. He kissed Loki’s jaw, moving his fingers in and out, gently, but never leaving that sweet spot alone for long. His free hand slowly took one wrist, then the other off the bed and trapped them above Loki’s head so as to leave him completely in his control.

Loki’s low, wet noises were making him harder and harder, it was beautiful, this image of him and Thor pressed against his sweet spot again.

The Jotun keened when he did, his back arching off the bed sharply, his toes curling in response.

Stunning, exquisite and absolutely gorgeous, Thor continued, thrusting his fingers inside Loki over and over, looking at the way his thick fingers were caught in him, looking at the faces he made.

His brows slated back, his face flushed, hair a mess, eyes shut and filled with tears, his mouth opened…

Loki looked delectable and Thor couldn’t resist. Not when he could get more. He rubbed against his spot one last time, watching him come close to the edge, then pulled back, gaining a sob from Loki.

“No!” he pleaded “Thor, please…”

“I will, I will, dear heart” Thor placed a kiss to his knee in promise “I’m just giving you more”

Loki watched him, looking at his face as Thor turned him on his side and carefully made him bend his knee.

“Hands before you, Loki” Thor ordered.

Swallowing heavily, Loki did as he was asked and watched Thor trap his wrists once more, beside his head. He could see them this time, Thor’s huge hand around his wrists, keeping them there.

“What are you doing?” Loki whispered.

“Trust me” Thor kissed his shoulder from behind and then slipped his fingers in again.

Loki whined, desperate, pushing back against him and the better angle.

“Oh norns…” Loki gasped “Please…yes…”

Thor knew what he was doing with his fingers and Loki was sobbing, biting his lip and crying at how good it was.

A litany of soft, strangled cries escaped Loki’s lips, they skated over Thor, caress after caress as Loki pulled at his wrists, as he tried to get Thor to do more than he was.

And Thor did, he started to move his fingers faster, taking in the way Loki cried and pleaded with him, then, when Loki was desperate, he let him go.

Loki instantly reached down to stroke himself and damn if it wasn’t the most beautiful thing Thor had ever seen.

He let Loki come, then he moved him to his back, kissing his neck and chest as he ground against his thigh.

“Touch me, Loki…” Thor whispered in his ear “Please…”

And when Loki’s cool fingers wrapped around his length, squeezing and stroking him just as he’d done, Thor lowered his forehead to Loki’s shoulder and panted heavily in his ear. Hs felt Loki’s nails dig into his thigh, then his rear, squeezing his cheek much like Thor had and leaving Thor groaning.

“Aye…” Thor whispered “Please…”

“Yes, like that” Loki chuckled, tipping his head back when Thor kissed his neck “Just like that…”

His hand between them, Loki stroked Thor continuously, keeping his pace as slow as he could, just to keep listening to Thor whisper pleas into his ear.

“This is just the start” Loki smiled “When I truly begin, you will be screaming my name”

Thor shuddered and his hands went to Loki’s hair, delving into their soft breaths as he kissed him. He bucked into his hand a few more times, Loki’s thighs tightened about his waist and soon, Thor came with a choked off cry of Loki’s name and an electrical energy around them both.

He lay panting over Loki, his breath hitting Loki’s ear, who had a sated smile on his face. His hand rubbed circles on Thor’s scarred back and eventually just held him close when Thor started to mouth at his neck again.

“Good morning and proper greeting indeed” Loki mused, his hand cradling Thor’s head “It’s almost noon”

“Want to work up an appetite for lunch, then?”

Loki chuckled and Thor kissed him again, reluctant to part even for air.

Yet they had to and though they bathed together and clung to each other as they dressed, it didn’t seem enough to either of them.

***

Lunch was a silent event, mostly because Thor and Loki were joined by Farbauti and Queen Irpa. The other royals were out doing their own respective duties, delegations and all, but Queen Irpa has made time to spend with Thor, Loki and Farbauti, inviting them to her parlour to have a delicious lunch.

Jotun cuisine was instantly loved by Thor, since it was full of spices and Royal Jotun cuisine was something Thor wouldn’t give up for anything, even table conversation, which Irpa and Farbauti never stopped.

They had started to grow fond of one another the moment they met but now, Loki realized that his mother had found himself a true friend. He listened to their conversation on and off but paid full attention when he heard Irpa ask about their future.

“Where will you live now that you two are together?” Irpa asked “Laufey told me you said you had some money saved up?”

“Oh” Farbauti blinked and set her mead glass down “I was actually saving that for Loki’s wedding, if I were honest. It’s not near enough to build a home like ours was but Loki said he has a few friends who would be willing to let us become their tenants”

Thor frowned at that and looked to Loki, who was very interested in his dinner all of a sudden, not looking up at her.

“Nonsense, my dear” Irpa furrowed her brow “You can easily stay here. I know I and Laufey would prefer it, actually. At least until you are back on your feet”

“Majesty is too kind” Farbauti said “I wouldn’t wish to – to make myself a presence where I am not wanted”

Irpa rolled her eyes “My dear, there might be places like that but here, trust me, you are more than wanted. My husband has been in love with you for years, dear. It can hardly be a surprise to you”

Farbauti blushed and Loki raised his eyes to her, narrowing them.

Urgh, his mother wanted Laufey, too. it made Loki clench his hand around his fork, just a little tighter. He knew she did but there was nothing _truly_ going on between them, was there?

She was playing along to get them to safety until Laufey stopped – wasn’t she?

He felt a nudge from his side and looked to see Thor raise a brow at him in question. Loki shook his head and went back to his meal, but he couldn’t help his thoughts.

Things were alright when he only thought Laufey infatuated.

But his mother?

Surely not! He’d broken her heart, why would she even want that?

But clearly, she did and Loki found his hackles rising when she actually let Irpa convince her to stay. Far be it for Loki to say anything against the Queen, but afterwards, he excused himself to escort Farbauti to her chambers.

Thor knew what was happening and let him go.

They needed a talk.

Farbauti knew, too, and she turned to Loki the moment he closed the door behind him.

“Loki-”

“Is it true?” Loki asked, walking to her “That – That you want him? Was what the Queen said true?”

He could see that Farbauti was trying to say something else, possibly something to ease the situation, but in the end, she just sighed, raised her arms by her sides and dropped them in a gesture that communicated her confusion.

“I don’t know” she said “I don’t know, alright? Maybe it’s the fact that I have been alone for so long, maybe it’s the fact that I was hopeless and near death when I lost you or when he took me or … or maybe its just something I have been feeling for so long, but …”

Loki frowned when she broke off and didn’t speak for a whole minute “But…?”

Farbauti smiled at him sadly “But it’s like I can breathe again. It’s like I have some lost part of me returned, like I can be more than I was. I can be more than a worker or a widow –“

Loki looked at her, as her eyes started to shine before him.

“Or” she whispered “Or a mother who lost her son”

It made Loki swallow heavily, knowing nothing of what Farbauti went through, but aware that it was worse than his own pain.

“For the first time since you vanished, I feel whole, Loki” she said “and it’s because of him. He found me, he looked for me and he got me home. He destroyed that monster’s home and let me tell you, he wasn’t a monster that was destroyed without consequences. The King has so much to take on now, more than he did before. The political situation now is worse, people know it’s because of us that Taneleer was taken down and … don’t tell me you have friends who can help us through this. You didn’t have them when you vanished, where did they come from now?”

Loki lowered his gaze, a faint dusting of pink blooming on his cheeks in shame.

“We are in danger” she told him “From everyone who benefitted from Taneleer, Loki. You know this, I know this and so does Laufey. The Queen is more than happy to protect us and when it’s offered, I am not going to refuse. We’ve both been hurt, Loki. I don’t want it to happen again”

“You’re with him out of a sense of gratefulness?” Loki couldn’t help but ask.

“No” Farbauti said “I’m with him because a big part of me wants to be. But I am afraid of how you will react if I am honest with you.”

Loki sighed and crossed his arms over his chest, looking away.

Farbauti knew Loki didn’t like Laufey and she walked over, cupping his cheek.

“My boy” she whispered “It wasn’t his fault what happened to your father. He didn’t think it possible, they were so close, he never imagined someone would do something like this. Least of all one of his own.”

Loki closed his eyes and shook his head “I hate him”

“I know you do, darling” she told him, making him look at her “but perhaps you should re think your hatred. He’s a good man”

“He let you go” Loki told her “And me, all our lives, he was content with – with just leaving us to struggle. You know what it was like after Father died, you know how we survived, Mother”

“I know” she whispered “it was that way because I refused his help. Like you, I feared he was going to ask me for – for something I was not ready to give in exchange. I was afraid, I was afraid of him and his power, but until he brought me back here, away from him, I didn’t realize that he truly meant only to help. Loki, I was wrong about him. I was wrong about what he would do, I just assumed.”

She brushed his hair behind his ear and Loki shook his head, shutting his eyes again.

“We were both wrong about him in the past, Loki” she told him “I out of fear, you out of grief. Perhaps this is a second chance for him and for us. Look at how they treat you. They already care for you, my boy, please try to understand”

Loki grit his jaw and sighed. He got an answer, his mother was thinking about being with him, mostly looking at the man she fell for years ago. The man she was forced to leave out of her own sense of duty.

He looked at her and exhaled “Why didn’t the Queen stop you before?”

Farbauti laughed sadly “She never knew. Laufey told her when I was already wed, my dear. Now I think if he had told her she would have helped”

“You don’t believe that” Loki said “do you?”

“I do” she smiled “She told me herself. She’s a wonderful woman. We both spent so much time hiding from everyone it became hard to differentiate between the good people and the bad.”

Loki scoffed “Mostly because we kept meeting the bad ones. It wasn’t easy on us, either, you know”

“I know, my love” she said “But look at us now. We’re free from it all. We have a better life for us. You, with Thor, me, all of us have a better life”

Loki kept his mouth shut about that and nodded.

“Better life, aye” Loki whispered.

He said nothing about Thor or him and let his mother him everything about how Laufey destroyed that – that horrible, nightmare house Loki was forced to live in for two years.

If nothing else, at least that was the good that came from it.

He departed from her soon after, giving her details of how Thor rescued him from the depths of that miserable cell and how they ended up falling for one another.

However, as he headed to the chambers he’d taken, he realized that he wasn’t feeling the heaviness in his heart that came with lying to someone who meant as much to him as Farbauti.

He didn’t know why, but for some reason, the story seemed less like a lie and leaned more towards the truth for Loki, at least for him.

The palace, after dinner was dark tonight. Heavy clouds smothered the skies above and thus giving little light to the palace halls. Loki stayed on his path, bowing to the guards as they changed their shifts and humming to himself softly when he was alone.

There were no guards in the palace suites tonight, mostly on the order of the Queen. She was meeting her lover tonight and wanted no rumours to be spread. Loki knew this because she herself had told him… and Farbauti … and Thor.

Oh, the lives poor Helblindi and Byleistr lived, Loki shuddered.

He was but a few feet from the corridor to his chambers and Thor’s, when he heard someone come up behind him.

Frowning, Loki turned to look, but found no one. The hall was empty.

Shrugging and attributing it to his own paranoia, Loki turned back.

A horrified gasp escaped him when he found himself facing Taneleer, standing right there, before him. His hands cradled a spell within, but it faded and Loki choked when a thick wire came around his throat from behind, tightening till he had to scramble to hold on to it. His vision began to blur and Loki gasped for air as he was dragged into a room beside them.

A supply closet, smothering and terrifying, Loki realized as Taneleer followed him in that there were two assailants.

Two!

“Hush, little whore” a voice rasped in his ear “Don’t make us hurt you more than we should”

Svadilfari, Loki realized, squeezing his eyes shut and tensing his body when the warrior tightened the wire. It cut into his skin and Loki’s eyes watered.

“You’ll kill him” Taneleer’s oily voice noted “Loosen it a little, boy, then do as we discussed”

Svadilfari smiled and raised looked at Loki, his lips moving in a whisper.

Once more, Loki felt the magic drain from him and he fought the urge to sob. He kicked out, thrashing wildly when Svadilfari pulled him back and lay him on the ground.

No! Loki was horrified this was not happening here! It wasn’t happening!

“Use that spell carefully, fool” Taneleer hissed “They detect magic here! I didn’t teach it so you could be reckless”

“It’s knowledge you imparted” Svadilfari hissed back “It’s mine now, I will use it as I want”

“And attract anyone who is around?” Taneleer growled “Trust me, I say it for your own good”

Svadilfari didn’t reply and Taneleer turned his attention to Loki.

“There you are, my child” he purred, “as beautiful as ever”

Loki glared at him, but his horror, his fear at seeing him here made it into something else. He was terrified and he squeezed his eyes shut when he felt Taneleer’s hand on his thigh. He stroked his flesh over his trousers and squeezed.

“You’re my addiction, you know that?” Taneleer purred “Beautiful, lithe, look at your body…”

He ran his palm up Loki’s thigh, ignoring his bucking and purred.

“I’ll have you writhing soon enough, calm yourself, child” Taneleer smiled, placing a hand on Loki’s belly “I’ll fill this up too”

Paling in horror, Loki kicked out, throwing him back, then pulled at Svadilfari’s arms. But the warrior was stronger and Loki could only get a few big gulps of air in before he was being strangled again.

“Enough!” Taneleer shouted, rubbing his jaw.

Loki saw blood slip out of his lips and grinned, making the man angrier.

“Leave it” Svadilfari said, “Do what we came to, now!”

Taneleer looked ready to murder Loki, possibly Svadilfari, too, but for now he refrained. He turned behind him and pulled something out of a satchel by his side.

Loki’s eyes widened when he saw it was his brand, his mark, the one he left on the wares he sold. He shook his head and struggled again.

“No!” Loki shouted, kicking and thrashing “No! Get off me!”

Svadilfari growled and tightened the wire and Taneleer moved closer, his spell heating the thing up till it was a burning red. He sat astride Loki’s legs, stopping his kicking to a great degree and Loki shook his head.

“No!”

 He felt Svadilfari release the wire, holding it in one hand like the reigns of a horse, the other caught and held Loki’s wrists above his head.

It gave Loki breath enough to scream in agony when Taneleer lifted his tunic and pushed the brand over his hip, on the right side. He dug it in, making Loki scream and cry in torment, making him wail.

“You’re such a pretty crier!” Taneleer laughed, watching the hissing, sizzling brand on Loki’s skin “I should have done this sooner!”

“Thor!” Loki screamed, arching his neck back “Thor!”

Taneleer’s face turned angry and he reached over, grabbing Loki’s face in his hand.

“You do not take his name” Taneleer hissed, leaning close “You’re mine!”

And a moment after that, Loki found Taneleer’s disgusting mouth pressed to his, forcing him down. He sobbed into his mouth, trying to pull back, but he wasn’t allowed to. Taneleer shifted closer to accommodate the kiss and Loki felt his tongue in his mouth.

In his mouth! He sobbed in agony, in humiliation, in shock and tried to break it off but Taneleer didn’t let him.

It was the most disgusting thing he’d ever felt and he did the worst thing he could.

Loki bit him – hard.

Svadilfari gaped as Taneleer howled and pulled back, blood pouring from his lips. It was on Loki’s face, his lips, too and Svadilfari looked away when Taneleer smacked Loki in the face with the brand he had in his hand.

Loki’s shrill, pained cry echoed in the room and the smell of burning flesh filled it.

Taneleer touched his mouth, then looked at Loki again. He looked to Svadilfari a moment later and hissed.

“Rip his clothes off!” Taneleer hissed “tie him down and leave him spread for whoever finds him!”

Taneleer got to his feet and was thinking about delivering a kick to Loki’s head when the door exploded behind them with a well aimed kick. The static warned the man before he saw him and Taneleer vanished in a cloud of dark magic.

Leaving Svadilfari to stare in shock at the Mjolnir wielding warrior.

Thor’s eyes were _murderous_ and he took everything in for a second, smelled the torture Loki went through, and stepped in.

Svadilfari moved to the side, grabbing an iron poker.

Loki curled up, almost unconscious at this moment, so Svadilfari didn’t care. He armed himself and faced Thor, ready to kill if he had to.

But he got no chance. Thor took two big steps forward and Svadilfari choked when he was grabbed around the throat and slammed into the wall closest.

“You monster, what have you done!?” Thor shouted into his face.

Mjolnir thrummed with his rage and Svadilfari had time only to raise his eyes back to Thor’s face, then the future king attacked.

Punch after punch, bloodied Svadilfari’s face as Thor screamed in rage, hitting him over and over and over even as he stopped moving, he his him, spraying himself, the wall, the ground, with blood, feeling it pump over his hand. He didn’t realize he’d started slamming Svadilfari’s head into the wall repeatedly halfway through and left nothing but a bloody pulp.

He was gone, he was dead but Thor wasn’t stopping.

He didn’t stop even when someone had run in and taken Loki, he didn’t stop when someone called to him, when he was called over and over.

Only when two heavy arms came around him from behind, when he was forcibly pulled back and forced to sit back when he lost his balance, when Helblindi’s arms soothed him, did he stop.

He watched Svadilfari’s headless, broken body slide down the wall, saw the carnage around him, saw Loki missing and glared ahead.

He didn’t care for the repercussions.

He truly didn’t.

***

Thor heard the screams the moment he entered the hallways that led to where the healers were. It broke his heart, tore it in two and he jogged ahead. His face and clothes were cleaned of blood, Irpa and Farbauti ran after him but he still felt alone and dead when he saw him.

Loki, curled into a corner, his shirt taken, a scalpel in his bloody hand, hair all over his face and fear in his eyes. His hands glowed and flickered, his magic was not aiding him, it wasn’t keeping the hoard of healers away from him.

They were all trying to help, but at this moment, they were making it harder.

“Get away from me!” Loki screamed, the tendons in his neck protruding “Don’t touch me again!”

Farbauti gasped, her hands going to her mouth and Irpa quickly calmed her. She pulled her close while Laufey and Helblindi talked to Loki, trying to reason with him.

But Loki was beyond reason, he was bordering on madness.

He wouldn’t listen.

“Step aside, all of you!” Thor ordered, pushing his way through.

He saw Loki recoil, saw him focus on him, his green eyes watery and wild. He raised the scalpel to him but Thor gave him no choice. If Loki swung at him and hurt him, it would do nothing to stop Thor from helping.

He pushed it away and pulled Loki into his arms.

“Dear heart” he whispered, cradling Loki’s head to him “I’m here. I’m here, Loki, breathe…”

Loki’s wide eyes were focused on the wall behind Thor, his hand clenched tightly around the weapon as he looked insane. His hair was a mess, his eyes red, he was shaking…

Then a sob escaped him and Thor held him tighter when he dropped the scalpel and his hands fisted tightly in Thor’s clothes. A loud whine escaped him and Thor shushed him when Loki began to weep.

“Don’t, my dearest” Thor whispered, rubbing his back “You’ll be alright”

Laufey and Helblindi nodded to the healers and they prepared a table to Loki. They had healing stones, they had everything Loki would need and the King and Prince moved back. They gave them space and watched as Thor gently lifted Loki up and brought him to the table.

Loki had hidden his face in Thor’s shoulder and the Prince leaned down, lowering himself to hover over Loki, letting him hide.

Now that he was calmer, the healers worked on him.

A whimper escaped Loki when they touched the spot Taneleer had burnt and Thor cooed at him, stroking his head.

“Easy, mine heart, easy” Thor cooed “I won’t let them hurt you, aye? I’m right here. They’re trying to fix you - look”

Loki shook his head but didn’t emerge from his refuge and Thor sighed, continuing his senseless words and his gentle whispers.

Laufey’s face was tight in anger, more so when Farbauti came to him and he saw her devastated face.

Helblindi was grim and Irpa went to Farbauti too, rubbing her back and promising revenge. There was no way Taneleer would live now.

“How did he get in?”

Thor’s firm voice spoke from before them and Laufey looked at the ground.

“Killed the guards in the east” he said “Took their armour, no one suspected”

“What foolish guards you have then” Thor growled “Hang them all if this was allowed to happen!”

Chastised, Laufey said nothing.

“Has a hunt been organized for that creature?” Thor asked after a beat of silence “Who is leading it?”

“I am” Helblindi said “We have already told the authorities to kill him on sight. He will not live long”

“Cease that order” Thor rasped “I want him alive”

No one had the gall to say anything to him and Thor turned back when Loki let out a loud cry, his nails digging into Thor’s arms.

“Hush, dear heart” he whispered “It will be alright soon”

They cleaned the burn, put a little numbing salve on it and eventually, broke the stone over it. There was a mark on his face, too, but it was faint, however, Loki wasn’t allowing anyone but Thor close and after the burn was treated by the stones, Thor felt his heart clench when he saw the brand still there.

His eyes went to the healer “Remove that! Take that mark off him!”

“We cannot, my lord” the healer whispered “We do not have the means, forgive us. We have healed it, but I don’t think it will go away.”

Thor stared at her in shock, then to Laufey, Helblindi and the others. His eyes filled with rage and he jut his jaw, thinking.

“Then I will take him to Asgard” he told them “They will treat him there, he will not live with this thing upon him!”

“Thor…”

Loki’s soft, hesitant whisper had the prince looking back instantly. He saw a pair of sad green eyes looking up at him, swollen, filled with pain.

“Stop” Loki said “Stop fighting them, they didn’t do this”

Thor opened his mouth to speak and Loki closed his eyes.

“Please stop yelling, please” he whispered “I can’t stand yelling…”

He shut his mouth then and Loki saw him visibly control his rage, the anger he saw prevailing in his eyes not a moment ago. Thor exhaled and opened them to see Loki watching him.

“Then I will calm myself” Thor said, brushing back Loki’s hair “I will calm down and go hunting for that – thing later.”

Loki said nothing and Thor slowly began to let him go, stopping when Loki latched on to his arms quickly.

“Do you want me to take you back to our chambers?” Thor asked him softly.

Loki nodded and rested his cheek on Thor’s shoulder. That was his answer, soft and scared after what happened.

Thor carefully slipped his arm beneath his knees and a healer cape to drape a blanket over Loki for his sake.

“I will return” Thor told Laufey, head lowered “Forgive my tantrum, I forgot my place”

Laufey shook his head “No need to apologize. We feel the same”

Farbauti wanted so badly to come to her child but when she saw Loki glance at her and avert his gaze she knew she wouldn’t be helping – not when he thought himself weak.

“Care for him” she whispered to Thor as he headed to the door.

He carried Loki like he was no burden at all and it warmed her heart when he turned to face her.

“I shall, my lady” he bowed his head once and departed.

Farbauti bit her lip and tears filled her eyes when Laufey’s arm came about her shoulders. A sob escaped her and she was pulled to his chest, his hand cradling her head as she cried against him, pain filling both their hearts at what had happened.

***

The dawning light spread over the Kingdom, no sun to stretch shadows across the ground, to give heat or to melt the ice around, but it was beautiful.

It was a dull, beautifully white hue in Jotunhiem, settling over the capital and lighting it up gently, dimly, much like the atmosphere in the royal guest chambers where two young lovers lay in bed.

On his front, his arms crossed under his cheek to pillow his blonde head, Thor stirred lightly, resisting the urge to shiver when two nimble fingers walked over his spine to dance upon his shoulder. A pleased hum escaped him when a finger started to draw patterns on his scarred skin, the nail skating over his shoulders and nape.

He hummed and spoke without opening his eyes.

“Best start what your fingers can end, Jotun”

Beside him, levering himself on one elbow and looking down at him as his hair fell softly around his face, Loki smiled.

“Are you sure you want me to do that, Prince?” he asked.

He pulled his hand back when Thor rolled on his back and found himself looking into those beautiful eyes again. Stunning, a shade so mesmerising Loki realized he loved looking at them.

He loved seeing them light up when they landed on Loki or move over him, taking in details, checking to see if he was alright or happy or sad.

They were doing it now and Loki smiled softly when Thor’s hand came to rest on his cheek.

“How are you feeling?” Thor asked, stroking his cheek.

The bruise was gone, Loki’s magic had fixed it, but there was a tiny mark, the smallest one, indicating where his cheek was burnt when Taneleer hit him with that brand. To Thor, it was battle wound worth a great vengeance.

Inhaling deeply, Loki gave a self deprecating smile and looked at the sheets rather than Thor.

“Embarrassed” he laughed, “I acted – like an idiot and I feel very stupid.”

Thor’s thumb stroked his cheek and then Thor lay on his side, levering himself so he could tip Loki’s head up and look him in the eyes.

“Do not say that” Thor whispered, cupping his cheek firmly “I saw you, I saw the state you were in anyone would have broken down after that. That monster…”

“You wouldn’t” Loki cut in gently “You would have been strong, you would have fought him, you wouldn’t have screamed and cried or humiliated yourself in front of everyone. They wouldn’t think you weak”

“I don’t think you weak” Thor told him firmly.

“I wasn’t talking about you” Loki whispered “My parents, the healers… what respect do I have left? They probably want me to be protected like some sort of maiden”

“They won’t” Thor whispered, brushing his raven hair back over his shoulder “They care about you”

He kissed Loki on the lips and then looked him over again. Loki felt his heart melt in adoration when he saw him looking upset, sad and hurt.

It warmed him inside and out.

“Are you alright?” Loki asked.

Thor smiled and Loki felt shocked when a thin line of tears came over Thor’s eyes. They didn’t fall, instead staying there so Loki could see them shining before him.

“I didn’t think you would respond” Thor whispered “It broke my heart, seeing you like that, Loki. I felt the earth shift from beneath my feet, I couldn’t … I couldn’t think”

His voice was a mere whisper and Loki swallowed heavily at the pain it communicated.

“Gods…” Thor closed his eyes “They were hovering over you, I heard you scream, it took so long to get to you. My heart just stopped, I can never explain it”

Loki frowned “Thor, I’m alright. I was afraid then, I am not now. I’m fine”

“He burned you” Thor whispered “Are you telling me you are fine with that?”

He saw Loki’s color turn a shade whiter and he had his answer even as Loki tried to lie.

“I – “

“We have healers in Asgard” Thor said “They can use spells to remove the scar. Just come with me and I will help you”

Loki smiled, the gesture looked sad “I doubt that our ‘break’ as you called it earlier will look authentic if I accompany you there. People will surely think you are serious about me”

His gaze was, once more, on the sheets and Thor sighed.

“Perhaps they are”

Loki looked up and saw Thor watching him carefully.

“What?”

Thor smirked “Perhaps I care for you more than I should. Or I forgot my own rule and suddenly find you more important to me than I did before and perhaps…maybe…if you allow, I could delay our ‘break’?”

Loki gaped at him “You can’t be serious. Thor, tell me you’re joking”

“I can’t tell you that” Thor laughed softly “Because I don’t want to stop this, whatever it is”

He played with Loki’s fingers, tugging on the hand that wasn’t keeping Loki up.

“I know that” Thor continued “That when I even think about you, I feel happy. I feel elated and away from the pain I always feel. Everything that is around me, the burdens, the ill thoughts, they fade into the background and you dominate my mind. So if you allow it, I would love to spend more time with you than we planned”

Loki looked at him, his eyes wide in shock “And then what? Thor, I don’t think you want a relationship with me, I’m not … I don’t even have a home, Thor, what will you visit?”

“Wherever you are,  I will manage” Thor looked at him “All I know is that I want to be with you, not for a future, not for a – a casual affair, I want to be with you because you make me happy. But if you say the word, I will stop. I will honour the earlier arrangement where I leave.”

“You will be happy with that?” Loki asked “Are you so … cavalier that you would be happy with either?”

Thor shook his head “Never. In truth, I would truly feel loss if you tell me to mind my own business and leave”

“This isn’t a joke” Loki frowned

“Do you see me laughing?” Thor asked him gently.

They stared at one another for a while before Loki sighed and ducked his head “I’ll have to think about it”

“Think away” Thor stroked his neck “But till then, I want you to be honest about something”

Loki frowned “What?”

“Why are your hands shaking so?”

Loki looked down and quickly clenched his hands into fists when they both looked at them.

“It’s nothing, I …”

“You’re still shaking” Thor sighed, then pulled him closer “Come here”

Loki hissed in irritation and tried pushing him back “Thor, I’m fine! Get off!”

He growled when Thor pulled him under him, covering him with his body, keeping him safe, protected…

He saw the angry jut of Loki’s jaw and saw him glare at him.

“What are you doing?” Loki rasped.

“Comforting you” Thor told him, brushing his hair back and looking down at him “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine!” Loki glowered “Now get off!”

“Loki, are you alright?” Thor didn’t let him up, looking into his eyes.

“Yes!”

“Are you alright?” Thor asked again, looking at his face, the flush on his cheeks, the tell tale quiver in his breathing.

“Why should I answer you?” Loki asked, looking at the ceiling rather than Thor “You won’t listen to me”

“Answer me, Loki”

“No”

“Are you alright?”

“What point are you trying to prove?” Loki hissed “I have been through worse, I suffered at his hands but I am alright, Thor, I know what to do! I don’t care what he did, it doesn’t affect me! It doesn’t affect my breathing or my thinking or the way his hands felt when…”

His voice broke and Loki squeezed his eyes shut.

Thor pulled back and Loki placed a hand over his mouth, shaking his head, trying to control himself.

But his body shook as he broke down and Thor’s arms came around him, pulling him to his chest.

“I hate him!” Loki complained loudly “He touched me! He touched me when I didn’t want him to, he held me down and touched me! It was _disgusting_!”

Once more, Thor cradled his head and rocked him, whispering soft words to him.

But he knew, he knew even now that Taneleer was running.

He wouldn’t get far.

Thor was after him now and he was one hell of a hunter.  


	16. Mine, Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “At least my King isn’t already married” Loki glowered at her “I wonder what that makes you”
> 
> “Nothing worse than what Taneleer made of you”

It was the gentle shift around him, the way he felt the warmth leave from beside him that made him realize that, the cry he thought he’d dreamt had actually been real. He turned to look over his shoulder, blinking his sleep stinging eyes and frowned heavily as he slowly focused on the bed beside him.

Empty, much to his apprehension. He sat up slowly and sighed, knowing that his lover was on the other side of those drapes, then cursing himself for not thinking of this beforehand. Slowly, he pushed the furs off himself and parted the drapes to get out of bed.

The room was dull, barely lit by the withering scones or the never ending dim light of Jotunhiem, but the fire stayed till its last breath and Thor sighed when he saw who he was looking for, standing there, looking out of the windows at the clouds.

His hair was messed with sleep, or rather because he hadn’t been able to sleep. His arms were around himself protectively and his gaze sad, even though Thor couldn’t see it.

He was suffering and he was suffering in silence so he didn’t wake or disturb Thor. It broke the Prince’s heart and when he walked to him, he made sure Loki could hear him and wouldn’t be startled.

He didn’t want to make things worse.

When Thor’s hands rested on his shoulders, Loki didn’t even look, he knew who it was an inadvertently showed the trust he had in Thor. His eyes closed and Thor swore he felt his own spirit cry when a single tear slipped down Loki’s cheek.

He longed to wipe it away, but Loki did it before he could and Thor gently grasped his wrist, kissing the sensitive inside of it.

“I can’t sleep” Loki whispered, placing his hand on Thor’s head when the prince rested it on his shoulder “I keep looking at the clouds”

Thor’s arms came about his waist and he pulled Loki back against him.

“Why?” Thor asked softly, nuzzling his shoulder.

Loki was wearing his night wear, soft, loose and breezy, so reaching his beautifully delicate skin wasn’t that hard.

“They look so free” Loki whispered “So free of burdens and fear, so light. No one can touch them or hurt them. They are neither pitied nor despised and have no flaws”

“You have no flaws either, Loki” Thor looked at him, noting the way Loki averted his gaze “You’re just as perfect at them, believe me, I know”

“Aye, god of thunder and rain, of course you know” Loki sighed, “do the clouds shake and tremble?”

He showed Thor his hands, both of which were shaking, just a little, but just enough to have Loki despise them.

“They do” Thor told him “I can prove it”

Loki opened his eyes and looked at Thor when the man moved to stand in front of him, chest to chest, no space between them.

“Put your arms around me” Thor told him “Go on”

Loki hesitated, but he slowly put both his arms around Thor’s neck and felt Thor wrap his own strong arm around his waist.

“Breathe deep” Thor instructed.

“What are you doing?” Loki asked into his shoulder “This is stupid, I would rather go to bed and not sleep”

Thor chuckled softly and extended his free hand. The metallic buzz filled the air and Loki turned in time to see Mjolnir soar into Thor’s awaiting palm. He felt her magic as he hadn’t yet, vibrating through him, through Thor.

Then Thor’s arm tightened around him and Loki gasped when he realized what he was going to do.

“Thor, wait…!”

The next second, their feet left the ground in a startling speed and Loki held on to Thor tighter, hiding his face in his shoulder, his nails digging into Thor’s skin.

“Stop!” Loki gasped, but his voice was drowned by the soaring wind.

Too loud, the noise was too loud and Loki began to panic. He felt the air slice past him, pressing him like a pressure he couldn’t breathe through, the air was getting thin, he was trembling and he didn’t dare let go of Thor.

They were flying!

Nay, Thor was flying, Loki was a rag Thor was taking with him. He heard Thor’s soft chuckle and felt him tighten his grip further, the two of them sailing through the air.

They went higher and higher, leaving Jotunhiem beneath them, nothing but a brightly shining spot as the wind got louder and louder. Thor smiled, his eyes closing as he realized he’d missed this, all of this, very badly.

He hadn’t done this in so long!

Thor moved higher, the clouds becoming a thick fog around them and he didn’t stop, flying past them, higher … higher…

The roaring wind stopped, leaving behind a light ringing in Loki’s ears and for a moment he thought they were on the ground again. He didn’t loosen his grip on Thor, he didn’t want to open his eyes but he realized that his feet touched nothing, they were floating once again, Thor still had them in the air.

But something was different and Loki felt light touch his closed eyelids, which hadn’t happened in so long that it startled him enough to open his eyes.

And a sharp, wondrous gasp escaped his lips.

It was magic, pure and simple and Loki lifted his head, staring openly about him. He was right; they were floating.

But he had no idea where and how beautiful is was.

Suspended between two lines of stunning, golden clouds, Loki faced the Jotun sun on one side, something he’d rarely ever seen and the moon on the other. The moon was still bright, the sun was still dim and they both painted the clouds from either side, blue and gold, till they met in a middle in a shade Loki didn’t think was possible. He looked up, giving Thor a beautiful view of his long throat, as he tried to memorize the colour painted upon the clouds above.

“Thor…” Loki whispered “It’s beautiful”

Still looking at him, Thor smiled, “It is”

Loki looked around, taking in the scape, the fluffy white clouds, the golden sun and the pearl of their moon. He missed the fact that Thor was studying him, he’d forgotten his pain, forgotten he was holding Thor as tight as he was.

He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply taking in the cool smell of the clouds, the gentle smell of the rain settled inside them and tipped backwards. Thor’s arm tightened around his waist and Loki leaned back, as much as he could, his hands latched on to Thor’s arms.

A few drops of rain fell on him, soothing him like a balm, pushing Taneleer back, if only a little. He didn’t want to look at him, he didn’t want to think and he took deep breathe, doing his best to calm down.

It worked, very slowly.

The red cloud of panic inside his mind started to fade, the feeling of being touched by something awful slowly vanished wherever the drops fell and his breath became purer, taking in the air no one had yet the chance to breathe.

It slowly, carefully worked so that he got lost in it, not wanting to come back or feel anything other than this cleansing.

It was only when he felt the touch of Thor’s lips on his neck that he straightened to look at him, look into his eyes. They were, Loki realized, just an impossible shade as the colour above them and Loki smiled, just a little, tenderly.

“You didn’t have to do this” Loki told him.

“I wanted to” Thor told him.

He couldn’t brush his hair back like he wanted, so he settled for nudging Loki’s nose with his own and watching him blush. Thor loved it immediately and then looked to the side. His arm still had his hammer above his head and Loki felt the power surge around them as Thor started to work on his magic.

Loki knew where to look and he felt his mouth part in wonder as the serenity around them was joined by _lightning_.

No thunder, the clouds were not allowed to move, but they trembled, shooting up sparks of lightning, of raw power up against each other with a never before heard zap Loki was amazed to hear. They stayed far from them at the start but soon came closer, the stunning power enveloped them, falling around them over and over.

The clouds shook, just like Thor had said and Loki watched them, mesmerised by them. They vibrated in power then shot forth their element, clashing with each other, showing off their strength.

He couldn’t look away, he was marvelled by it and watched it happen repeatedly, watched it work around them. It was everywhere, not just where Thor looked and Loki tipped his head up again to see the lightning flash above them, to see the strength they exhibited.

So involved was he that Loki took a second longer to discover that Thor was talking to him. He turned his head to face him and blinked at the smile on his face.

Thor was beautiful. He was beautiful as he controlled his element, he was beautiful as he was backed by the clouds and lightning.

He was as breath-taking as the view around them, more so, with that smile on his face, signalling that Thor knew Loki hadn’t heard him.

“I said …” Thor beamed “When I was younger, I would fly this high and drop down, letting Mjolnir go. I would plummet through the air, flying towards the ground till I called her again”

Loki rolled his eyes “Fool, it’s not called flying, it’s called falling, you were falling through the sky”

“Not when I have her with me” Thor told him, looking at her “I trust her more than I can express”

Loki raised his eyes to the hammer “Why would you let her go to fall?”

“To feel free”

That had Loki blink, then stare in surprise.

“What do you have to be free of?” he asked “You’re a prince, you have everything”

Thor looked at him and smiled, though it didn’t reach his eyes.

“I wish to do it right now and want you to join me”

Loki was stumped by the blatant change of subject and it took him a moment to realize what Thor meant. His eyes widened and he shook his head, digging his nails into Thor again.

“Thor, no, Thor _don’t_ …!”

His words ended in a scream as Thor let Mjolnir go and fell backwards into a graceful arc, holding Loki with both thick arms.

They plummeted towards the earth and Loki watched in horror as the landscape of shapes and shades started to appear from within the clouds they had been settled on.

“Thor!” Loki hollered as he latched onto Thor, dropping from the skies like a stone “I’ll _kill_ you for this!”

Thor laughs, his hair flying and lashing in the wind, much like Loki’s. He looks delighted, absolutely in love with this game. He looked up and saw Mjolnir approach them, releasing Loki a little to raise one arm and grab her before flying upwards again.

“I hate you!” Loki howled into his ear “I despise you, you _lunatic_!”

“Do you?” Thor laughed “Ah well, then you won’t mind this…!”

“No…!” Loki roared as they fell once again.

He kept his eyes shut and cursed and hit Thor when he dared, yanking on his hair in punishment. They dipped and flew over and over, Loki’s screaming and cursing lost in the wind.

It felt like an eternity for Loki, to Thor it was much, much less, before they stopped. Slower, this time and behaving for once, Thor took them back to the balcony.

Loki was still attached to him, his face hidden in Thor’s neck, his body pressed tight to the Prince’s. Thor still had his arm around his waist and Loki’s nails still dug into his shoulders. Thor released his hammer and stroked Loki’s head gently, looking at him.

“Do you want to come out?”

“I’m perfectly fine here, thank you”

Thor grinned, laughing softly at his dry response, then sighed “Alright, then”

He hooked his hands beneath Loki’s thighs and carried him to the bed.

“I don’t know about you but I am very eager to sleep after that relaxing exercise” Thor walked on his knees on the bed, moving to lay Loki down.

“If that’s relaxing, I don’t even _want_ to know what excites you” Loki droned as he was laid on his back.

He tensed and wrapped his arms tighter around Thor, shaking his head.

“Not under you” he panted “Please, not under you”

The panic in his voice had Thor still and looked down at him. He knew Loki had been distracted enough, even if it had been in a full-fledged rage against him, but now Thor had pushed him back to the place Loki feared.

“Of course, forgive me”

He held Loki within his arms and sat back, then slowly lay down so Loki was on top of him. Their hearts were beating together and he could feel Loki’s flutter above his like a trapped soul. He pressed a calming hand on Loki’s back and saw him set his cheek on Thor’s shoulder rather than hiding in it.

For a long time, neither of them spoke and Thor had lulled himself into a gentle snooze when Loki said something.

“Hmm?” Thor blinked awake, only to see Loki looking at him, slightly chagrined.

“Sorry” Loki winced “I didn’t know you were sleeping”

“I’m not” Thor rumbled, his voice deep.

“Aye, you’re fully awake” Loki smiled, chuckling.

Thor’s eyes began to droop and he pictured that smile in his head as he once more started to doze off. He thought he felt a gentle kiss against his mouth and thought he heard Loki mumble something Thor didn’t think he would hear tonight.

“Thank you”

Loki placed his head down again and then lifted Thor’s arm to put over him when it fell off.

For the first time that night, when Loki closed his eyes, he slept soundly.

***

In the morning, Loki realized he preferred plummeting down towards the earth to the pity and sympathy he saw in everyone’s eyes.

He knew it, he had told Thor they would see him differently now, see him as a weak, unmanned Jotun rather than who he was.

Or perhaps he was weak and unmanned, he just didn’t want to see it. He wanted to turn and leave and Thor must have guessed it because he was quick to grab Loki by the hand and stop his hasty retreat from the dining room where breakfast was set.

Loki was hungry but apprehensive when going out but Thor told him to hold his head high and not to give in to the fear. Once Loki did that, all would be lost.

He told him to give in to his anger, use it to scare and intimidate anyone who even thinks he could call him weak; he told him to do what Thor did whenever he felt overwhelmed.

Attack.

Loki hadn’t seen it, Thor hadn’t exactly become overwhelmed except when they laughed at him at Thrym’s and even that was short lived. Had Thor truly attacked, perhaps Loki would have seen the flaw in his plan.

He hadn’t gone as he wanted to, staying instead and listening to Farbauti go on and on with Laufey. She kept smiling and asking after Loki at intervals and he knew, from the strain in her eyes, that she cared about him, but for the life of him, he couldn’t stop the irritation flooding into him whenever she smiled at Laufey or made a joke with him.

Too late Loki would recognize it as jealousy.

Too late, because when Farbauti looked him over and asked him if he would like more bread, Loki only glared.

“What care have you?” he asked, placing his goblet down hard “Don’t you have the King to swoon over?”

Shocked silence fell over the table and even Thor watched as Loki pushed his chair back and stood, turning to leave without a glance back at anyone. Farbauti was still in shock – for no more than a second and everyone watched her go after Loki, unwilling to test if her wrath would come forth on them or Loki.

“I – uh…” Thor got to his feet, but stopped when Helblindi held up a hand.

“Leave them be for now” Helblindi said “They have this conversation due”

Thor sat down, but his expression stayed strained as he wondered if listening to Helblindi was wise or not.

Outside, Loki was making another unwise choice by ignoring the calls his mother gave as she followed him, her stride just as angry.

“Loki, I told you to stop!” Farbauti snapped angrily.

He did stop and Farbauti’s anger stoked itself because he didn’t look at her. She stopped next to him and grabbed his arm to spin him around.

“What did you say to me?” Farbauti demanded, her voice angry “Would you like to repeat that?”

Loki inclined his jaw and held his tongue, looking away. He hissed when she grabbed his jaw and made him look back.

“Answer me”

Loki pulled out of her grip and glared.

“I said why do you care?” he asked “Ever since we came here, it’s all been about him. Laufey, he’s so wonderful isn’t he? You don’t even care about me! Am I that easily forgotten!?”

“I don’t care about you?” Farbauti narrowed her eyes “What have I been doing these past two years if not looking for you? I love you, you are my son, how can I not care for you?”

“It feels that way!” Loki glared “Why are we here? Why are we living here when I can easily get us a home to let? I want to work, I want to get back to my life, I don’t want to be here! But you’re making me because you want to stay with him!”

“Is that what you think?” Farbauti asked “You think I am staying here because of him? You’re a fool, Loki!”

“Of course you are staying here because of him!” Loki snapped “He’s your long lost lover, the man who sired me, but you forget something – he is not my father. My Father was Jarr, Jarr the Honest, my name is Loki Jarrson, the man you wed, the man who raised me and the man who died protecting him!”

Loki pointed to the dining room where Laufey sat with the royal family and Farbauti’s frown became darker.

“Do not imply that I have forgotten your father” she rasped, moving  to stand before him when he turned away “I loved him. He gave me a life I didn’t think I could have, so don’t you dare!”

“Yes, but fool that he was, he got himself killed”

“If he was a fool, then you are an even bigger one” Farbauti told him “The only difference is that he wasn’t deaf to what I told him and you are”

“Am I?” Loki countered “And what have you told me? What makes you think I do not listen?”

“You are stubborn” Farbauti frowned “Even when I tell you why we can’t go back, you don’t listen. I told you, Loki; people dependant on Taneleer are now after us. They know we are responsible, they know that the King and Thrym destroyed him because of us. And these people are not honest nor do they have morals. Do you want us to go out, let a house and have them hurt us?”

“This is all conjecture at this point, assumptions,” Loki told her “How do you know they even know who we are or what we’ve done? How do you know ‘someone is after us’?”

Farbauti grit her jaw and exhaled. She didn’t say anything, but Loki knew the answer.

“I see” Loki sighed “ _He_ told you, didn’t he?”

“Both him and the family, yes” Farbauti nodded “I believe them”

“Did it occur to you that they might be lying?” Loki asked “That they are manipulating you into staying here?”

“And what would that get them?” she kept a control on her tempter very carefully “I doubt I am that important”

“It would get him the woman he’s after” Loki gestured to her “clearly, it’s working”

Her face was angry and she looked right about to hit him.

“You’re a hypocrite, Loki” she said “You’re with a King because he offers you power and protection and when I do the same you mock me and taunt me.”

“At least my King isn’t already married” Loki glowered at her “I wonder what that makes you”

“Nothing worse than what Taneleer made of you”

Loki turned pale and Farbauti regretted it instantly, especially by the look in his eyes. Hurt, jealousy, disbelief. She hadn’t meant to say anything but, norns, Loki had a talent to make her so damn angry!

But it faded when she looked at his face and walked forward.

“I – I didn’t mean that” she said, stepping closer

Loki retreated, a frown on his face, shaking his head.

“I was better off on Asgard” he told her, turning away and walking off.

She didn’t follow him this time, slowly, she lowered the hand she’d raised to touch him and watched her son walk across the distance she’d placed between them.

***

A glass crashed against the wall and he kicked over a table, letting out a snarl of rage. The room looked as his temper did and he turned to look for something else to throw, the tendons in his neck standing out.

He was so close!

So close to getting him, so close to doing what he wanted but he failed. Why? Because stupid Svadilfari went and got himself killed!

The fool, the absolutely useless pile of steaming dung was dead before Taneleer was done with him, with his resources and now what did he have? A dozen, mindless drones that he couldn’t use because his clients had backed out.

They were hounding him for money and he had to run, leaving Jotunhiem to settle elsewhere, he ran, taking his Children, he ran.

He’d written to their future owners, demanding more funding, which he got and though he had settled into one of his other homes in Svartalfhiem, he wasn’t going to get much business here. This place was just as desolate as Jotunhiem but a desert where Jotunhiem was ice. Food import was another, greater expense and though he had little to no problems there, he was still furious.

Svadilfari was an important asset, both in terms of finance and associates. He’d told Taneleer what happened when Taneleer picked him up from a dirty, dingy street.

He’d told him of his long association with Prince Balder and how he used him to get connections and access to Asgard’s royal treasury. He told Taneleer about how he took just enough not to cause suspicion and save up.

It was how he got the money to pay for Loki. Loki was someone Svadilfari had wanted as a pet, a thing he could use once Taneleer was done with him. He had no idea about Taneleer’s own desires towards the boy and was desperate to ruin him.

Taneleer agreed, taking his chance and going to the palace where he intended on humiliating and ruining Loki in the eyes of everyone he knew. If he knew one thing about Loki, he knew that the boy was no where near strong enough to stand against pity and humiliation. He could take hits and fight, he’d done it for years before Taneleer caught him.

Taneleer had heard of Loki long before he caught him, the ‘Not Prince of Jotunhiem’ they called him. Helping people regain what they have lost, be it money or loved ones, helping those in need. But he was never liked, not openly.

Of course once he vanished, people started to forget him, even if they once remembered him well. They got distracted and moved on. Perhaps, if they got the chance, they would love him again.

Taneleer wouldn’t let that happen. He wanted Loki to be remembered only as they whore who escaped the clutches of Taneleer Tivan.

That was what he’d wanted, that was what Svadilfari had ruined.

Now Taneleer had to start again, keeping in mind that Loki now had allies. He needed to be able to get him to leave this place, go to Asgard where Taneleer had many, many clients. Asgardians prided themselves on purity but Taneleer knew many who were anything but. They would have him if he told them he needed a place to stay. Perhaps he could give them a cut of the money he had.

Many were depraved enough to take it and do as he asked.

However, the problem was getting Loki out of the royal palace. There had to be something he could do, some way he could break Loki enough to have him leave this place and go to Asgard.

Taneleer was pacing, his eyes looking around until he caught sight of something that made him stop.

A ribbon.

Red in colour and taken from the sleeve of only one person he remembered.

Like a flash, Taneleer’s rage started to diminish and he went to the ribbon, crouching down to pick it up.

Image after image of his plan flashed through his mind and just like that, Taneleer realized he had a chance, possibly the last one, to get Loki out of the palace.

Aye, but this time, Taneleer wouldn’t be there himself, this time, Loki would be hurt by someone expendable, someone Taneleer wouldn’t miss if they died.

His silver eyes went to his personal guard and he smiled at him.

“You” he called “Come here, I have something I want you to do”

***

Something broke the moment he opened the door and Thor walked in with a sense of urgency he hadn’t had a second ago.

There was a worried frown on his face and he stepped into the dark room, startled, when his boot landed on the remnants of a glass thrown at his general direction.

“Go away!”

Thor’s eyes went to the corner where the voice came from and even in the dark room, he could make out the crouching shape of Loki, sitting there on the floor.

Thor sighed loudly, walking further a little carefully, till he could turn the knob of the closest wall sconce and light the room up.

There were more broken glasses spread over the floor like a shining carpet, indicating that Loki had no qualm about breaking the royal drinkware. There was another one clutched in his hand and Thor’s sense of alarm heightened when he saw how badly his hands were shaking. Drink was spilling everywhere, even on Loki’s tunic when he took a huge sip and glowered at Thor.

“I thought I told you to leave” he rasped, looking like a wraith “Have you come to look at the Whore of Jotunhiem?”

Thor’s brows raised and he walked over “Nay, you were gone all day and were pretty upset at breakfast. Where were you?”

“Out” Loki took another shaky sip, then poured himself more from the bottle.

His clipped answer made Thor’s lips tighten but he said nothing as he came to sit beside him, extending his hand “Share”

Loki watched him suspiciously and waited a few heartbeats before giving him his glass.

“What are you doing here?” Loki asked “Did she send you?”

Thor grimaced as the overly sweet mead went down his throat and shook his head “Not really. Everyone still thinks you’re in the city. When did you get back?”

“An hour ago” Loki took the glass back, poured more for Thor, then took a swig from the bottle “I went out in disguise”

“Why?” Thor took another, smaller sip

Loki sighed angrily “To see if he was lying to my mother”

“Lying about what?” Thor asked, not commenting on how Loki’s hands shook so badly it took three tries to bring and keep the bottle against his lips.

Loki took two long sips, then looked at Thor, putting the bottle down “About my reputation”

Thor watched him, saying nothing. He knew what Loki was talking about and he knew who ‘he’ was, who ‘she’ was. Loki’s fight with Farbauti hadn’t exactly been subtle.

“I found out that they were right, both of them” Loki sighed “As many people were eager to talk to me about me, I learned that my good was quickly outweighed.”

“Your deeds as someone who helped others?” Thor asked

Loki nodded “Exactly. Even those who I had helped around here were very quick to tell me how I was nothing more than a whore now. Everyone knows Taneleer got his hands on me, many even know about the brand”

Thor tensed “How do they know?”

Loki shrugged, looking away “Doesn’t matter now, does it? I’m trash – she was right. This is where we have to stay now”

“That’s not true” Thor reached over and took Loki’s hand, warming one between two of his own “The people in that town were wonderful to us”

“They didn’t know me” Loki told him “Or they hadn’t heard what happened yet, or something. Taneleer was there, too, he destroyed that, no doubt”

“We’ll get him, you know that”

“What’s the point?” Loki asked “He’s gotten what he wanted. My people don’t think of me the same. Even if I get work here, who would want to work with me? Not even desperate people will want anything to do with me”

“That’s not true, Loki” Thor brought his hand to his lips.

“It is” Loki looked at him “You don’t know what they said, what they still say. Mother was right. We have to – to live here, like – like beggars, asking for whatever the King is kind enough to give. It makes me sick”

Thor clicked his tongue put an arm around Loki’s shoulders “Come here”

Loki didn’t fight, he let Thor comfort him and closed his eyes.

“I helped people” Loki told him “Before he got me, I helped people, Thor, why are they doing this? Did I go to him willingly? Did I do everything he asked me to? He tortured me, they can’t see?”

Thor placed a hand over his head when he felt the light hitch in his voice.

“I hate him” Loki told him “I hate him and they are cruel to me.”

“People are always cruel, Loki” Thor told him “They do not need a reason”

Loki brought a shaking hand to rest on Thor’s shoulder.

“They’re cruel to you, too?” Loki asked “You’re a prince, nobody is cruel to you”

“Many are” Thor looked down at him “Svadilfari was”

“Nay, he was cruel to me and your brother”

“And that didn’t hurt me?” Thor asked softly “I might not have been the nicest, but seeing what he did to Balder and you was cruelty to me”

“Cruelty that you repaid by killing him” Loki sniffed, then swallowed “I can’t kill an entire race”

Thor made a face “True, but you can let them know you care naught”

“How?” Loki asked

“By not drinking and throwing glasses at me” Thor told him, smiling a little

“I didn’t throw it at you” Loki defended “I threw it in your direction”

“Specifics are not important here” Thor smirked

“They are when you accuse me of trying to hurt you?” Loki smiled, just a little.

Thor chuckled softly and rubbed Loki’s back “How drunk are you?”

“Drunk enough to scare Ruben” Loki exhaled “I don’t know where he is”

“He’s right there, glaring down upon us from his evil perch, craving our subjugation”

“Good thing to crave, really” Loki turned his head to look at Ruben, who was watching them from beneath a chair “He’s a good demon”

“He tries, I have yet to be impressed” Thor told him “We need to look for someone to lead the people. I know a person”

“I know one too, she is a wonder, really.” Loki said “She has the oddest names, likely worthy of leading an army where Ruben walks under the banner. Lady Ru Ucchi, that’s her name”

“Vanir?”

“Aye, good catch, Thor”

Thor laughed softly, his hand rubbing Loki’s shoulder, his back. He still felt the vibrations against him, much like the way Ruben purred against his body when he pet him. He knew it was Loki’s hands shaking and he looked at the man draped over him, kissing his hair.

“Loki?”

“Hm?” Loki asked softly

“What did he do to you?” Thor asked softly “What did he do to make … to make your hands shake like this? To scare you whenever someone raises their voice or when lights flash? Or when – when you are alone and think someone is coming … what did he do?”

Loki was very stiff in his arms and Thor felt like he’d crossed a boundary, he was about to apologize and tell Loki not to tell him when Loki spoke.

His voice was soft, far away, his hands were holding Thor’s tunic.

“He had a plan for me” Loki whispered “A very intricate and well thought of plan, where I was to do things that he was told I should. He wanted me to have a certain skill set, where I  could dance, where I could cook, clean, please in bed”

Thor frowned and his sale deed for Loki came to mind, along with the disgust of him still keeping it. He would burn it when he got home.

“When I was caught, I was at a fair with my mother” Loki said “I was kept in a dark dungeon for a year, then let out to begin my training”

“Training…” Thor whispered

“Like a dog” Loki frowned, feeling Thor’s grip tighten around him “I refused to do anything, I hated it, I fought and cursed and tried to escape, I did anything I could to anger him so he got tired and I could escape. But …”

Thor took a deep inhale to prepare himself.

“They had these devices that electrocuted me” Loki told them “All the others had them too and they rarely got hit with them. I got hurt every single day. You know those tiny scars on my legs and hips?”

“I do” Thor whispered

“That’s how I got them” Loki said “They had needles that would sink into my flesh and they would turn the device on to shock me. They did it over and over and ignored how I screamed and writhed.”

“Gods, Loki…” Thor whispered, closing his eyes

“It never worked” Loki laughed softly “but it ruined me. They brought in a healer when my hands couldn’t stop shaking and they told me that all the electrocution destroyed the motor control in my hands. They shake when I get stressed or upset”

Thor sighed in anger “What else?”

“He threw me into a room where he left me for days” Loki told him “I don’t even remember how long I was in there. All I remember is screaming, shrieking, horrible noises, so loud they shook my bones. And lights, flashes of light, they destroyed me, I begged for it to be over, I begged… he didn’t stop”

Thor’s face was a mix of rage and grief, rage at them, grief at what Loki had to endure. He longed to squeeze the life from Taneleer, he wanted that power in his hands.

“Then he started to like what I looked like” Loki continued “The rest you know”

There was silence after this, only the sound of the distant wind, Loki’s slightly strained breathing and the distant rumbling in the skies, evidence of Thor’s unpleasant mood. It was peaceful, as peaceful as it could be after the story Loki told, and Loki started to relax. His hands started to slow their rapid shaking and he sighed.

“What are you thinking?” Loki asked after a while

Thor rubbed his arm and exhaled “About what you told me. You said there were others, they went through the same?”

Loki shook his head “No, they broke easily and the most they got was a shock once a week when they made a mistake. Taneleer was very keen to encourage perfection”

“And you fought, ending up hurting yourself like this?” Thor picked up Loki’s hands “That was very …”

“Stupid?”

“Brave” Thor looked at him, then smirked, just a little “But we can call it that”

Loki gave him a dry glare and Thor kissed his forehead.

“What happened to the others?” Thor asked

Loki shrugged “Many he took with him, mostly those twelve he always had, the ones he was training. The lucky souls in the cells are likely safe. Their training hadn’t begun”

He felt Thor’s large hand stroke his head, slowly running his fingers through his hair.

“He isn’t evil enough to be a villain” Thor told him “but a demon, nonetheless. However, many politicians and important people in the realm benefitted from him. How?”

Loki took a deep breath before he sighed “Money, I think. Feeding the people he had would cost a lot, so does decorating, furnishing, tools and books needed to turn them into his toys. Not to mention the electrocution tools, the magic he needed to break them. Good people do not make things to hurt others, bad people with a lot of money do”

“And they are the ones your mother was talking about?” Thor asked

Loki nodded “And then told me of my reputation.”

“From what I hear, you weren’t exactly kind, either” Thor said

“Aye, it was just …. She’s stopped caring about me” Loki said

Thor blinked at him in surprise “What? That’s not right, Loki, she’s your mother”

“I never said she wasn’t” Loki looked at him “But haven’t you seen it? Her preference to his company, just going along with their life as though it was hers? This is not my mother, she was never like this”

Thor stared at him, at those sad looking green eyes and sighed “Perhaps, and don’t hate me for this, the past two years were, to her, a way of coping with the death of her child. And now that she has learned to cope and possibly move on, you’ve returned”

Loki’s brows raised and he stared at Thor “So you’re blaming me for being alive?”

There was no heat in his words and Thor chuckled “No, Loki, I am not. I am just saying that the years changed you. They probably changed her, too.”

That got him a long stare, before Loki turned and moved to sit up. Thor’s hand skated from around him to settle on his back, a support to be there for him as he stared at the ground.

He ran a hand through his hair and looked back at Thor.

“Intelligence doesn’t suit you”

Thor smiled softly “Merely perception, Loki. Maybe, rather than fight with her, you two can talk.”

“I know” Loki rubbed a hand over his face “It won’t be a pleasant chat, I assure you”

“The honest ones never are” Thor rubbed his back “Do you feel better?”

“I do, I also feel embarrassed”

Thor frowned “Why?”

“Because you come to comfort me like … like it’s your duty” Loki told him “I should be able to get over these things, not linger over them”

“You should” Thor nodded, agreeing “Or maybe you should just rip out your sentimentality and crush it with a boot, I heard it’s possible”

Loki narrowed his eyes at him “I might be drunk but I can still hit you”

“You can try” Thor gave him a squeeze on the shoulder and stood “But you will fail”

He held out a hand for Loki, then pulled him up, smiling and sliding a hand around his waist.

“Now come” Thor led him to the bed “Let me put my little drunk to bed”

“Your little drunk will beat you senseless if you call him that again”

Thor laughed “I have no doubt of it”

He set Loki down then went to fetch a servant to clean up his mess. And later, when Thor joined him in bed and lay with him, his arm around Loki and his lips buried in his hair Loki allowed himself an indulgence.

He allowed himself to enjoy the little shiver of delight that went through him when Thor called him ‘my’.

Mine

Taneleer had called him that and tainted the word, Loki hadn’t enjoyed it then.

He’d enjoyed it when Jar, his brave father, pulled Loki into his arms to kiss.

“My little treasure” he would say “My little Loki”

A kiss to the head would follow and Loki would lean back against Jar’s chest, to listen to his father read.

He’d felt delighted then, he’d felt horror and shame when Taneleer called him that, now, after so many years, he had felt joy at being called so.

Mine, my, his …

His Loki.

***

Two things happened the day after next.

The first was that everyone decided to make things easier for Loki by leaving him alone.

The second was that Loki decided to ruin that plan by coming to them at breakfast and apologizing.

It had shocked nearly everyone but they also understood, which shocked Loki.

It wasn’t expected and though there was aloofness between Farbauti and Loki, things were calmer.

Or as calm as they could be at a breakfast after a highly charged and emotionally wringing day.

After breakfast, Farbauti accompanied Loki to the healers to see if something could be done about the brand and discovered that he was using his magic to hide it from sight. It was no bother, he told her, but she knew he hid it because of the pain he was pushing down.

He just didn’t want to be reminded of it.

Thor was taken out by Laufey and Helblindi, which was something they had been looking forward to and Thor smiled wide when he saw what was before him.

Jotun yak.

Huge, the size of Midgardian mammoths, when they were alive.

Their eyes were covered by tufts of hair, their horns thick, their fur so warm looking Thor wanted to bury himself in it.

“Yak fur is shorn off and used for shawls” Helblindi explained as Thor ran his hand down one “One of the most expensive items since it can only be shaved once a year when the weather is warmest”

“Beautiful” Thor smiled, then stepped back to watch the animal chew on his food.

They ate huge, monstrous bales of crops, hay and leaves. They were grown on the most fertile parts of the kingdom and sent around the realm whenever needed.

“They are great” Laufey came from the stables with reigns and a saddle, tossing them to Thor “If you tame one, you get to own it. Think you are up to it?”

Thor snorted “Of course I am”

Mjolnir thrummed at his hips, feeding off his excitement and Thor was given a ladder to climb the beast.

He’d just gotten a hold of it when he caught sight of a group coming over and smiled.

“Loki!” he smiled “Look what I am doing!”

Raising his brows at the child the dignified – sometimes – prince had become, Loki shook his head.

“You’re getting killed?”

Beside him, Irpa snickered and Byleistr rolled her eyes.

“He’s a fool” the princess said

Loki had a resigned sort of look on his face as he crossed his arms “Agreed, dear princess, agreed”

Farbauti was there, too, watching Thor set the ladder on his intended Yak’s side.

He jumped back, making Laufey laugh, when the yak turned to look at him, then shook off the irritating ladder.

“Come now, Odinson!” Laufey called “Must you dawdle?”

Thor glared at them, picked up the ladder and tried again, this time trying to put it behind the yak.

“Bad idea!” Loki said instantly “Thor, it will kick you!”

Thor pulled away with a sigh, then set it on the side, holding the reins and starting to climb.

Loki couldn’t help the pleased look in his eye as Thor climbed it in one go. Usually, it took three or four tries.

Laufey and Helblindi clapped as Thor’s head and shoulders emerged over the back of the yak, the reins thrown over his shoulder.

“Jump on it’s back!” Helblindi instructed.

“No!” Loki said instantly “That will startle it, go slow!”

“Doing it quicker is best, Prince!” Laufey yelled “You’re going to startle it anyway!”

The women watched the men shout and yell at Thor, then watched Thor as he took the reins off his shoulder and got ready to put it around the yak.

“Thor, it isn’t a horse!” Loki yelled over Laufey and Helblindi’s cheers “It’s got horns!”

Thor waved at him and Helblindi and Laufey groaned as Thor listened to Loki and climbed slowly on the animal.

Immediately, the ground rumbled and a thick ice fence appeared around the animal, making a ring.

“Step back, aye?” Laufey told everyone, moving them to a safer spot “We don’t need any gouged out eyes”

Byleistr took Loki’s arm and pulled him back, smiling, since he was so interested in watching Thor and seeing if he was alright or not. He probably didn’t even know how worried he looked.

Thor started to crawl on the animal’s back and was close to the head when the animal stopped chewing.

“Oh, here we go” Irpa smiled

Loki’s eyes went wide as the yak let out a low, deep groan and tipped its head back to scratch at the offending itch on his back.

“Thor, watch out!” Loki shouted

But he needn’t have worried.

Thor saw it and he immediately moved back, his hands clenched in the thick fur around him. But it made the yak wail, then tip its head back again, trying to get him. Thor avoided it again, then the foot it lifted to try and reach.

The yak got agitated soon enough and both Laufey and Helblindi cheered as it reared on his back feet and slammed his front hooves down, shaking the earth.

“It’s going to start bucking, hold _on_!” Helblindi shouted out.

Thor grit his teeth as the yak began to jump, kicking its back feet out, jumping around to get him off. It got angrier and angrier the longer Thor stayed and Loki could only watch it spin faster and faster, leaping up, shaking the ground to get Thor off.

There were howls and cheers from around Loki as more people came to watch Thor, watch the yak try and shake off the Prince of Asgard.

But Thor was not one to give up and there were more shouts and screams of joy when Thor began to climb the spinning, howling beast. The yak sensed his movements and bucked harder, throwing itself in the air repeatedly.

Loki’s eyes followed his progress. This was usually when most competitors fell off, the spinning got them too dizzy to hold on and they were thrown off, flying through the air to land dozens of feet away. Many were injured, some were lucky.

Thor seemed to be the few who stayed latched on and as the wind twisted and blew his hair around, he only climbed higher, avoiding getting hit by the horns when the yak slammed them against its side to pry him off.

It almost did, Thor grunted as the sharp tip grazed his thigh and Loki paled when a line of blood painted the side of the yak as Thor hit it over and over.

“Thor!”

The prince pulled the fur harder and climbed up higher, making the movements of the yak more frenzied.

This was it, if Thor passed this, then the animal would be tamed.

Laufey and Helblindi watched, cheering Thor on as the others did the same. Loki watched, his eyes wide.

Irpa’s gaze went to his hands and found them shaking so hard he had to link them together to hide it.

The yak kept spinning, jumping, bucking, turning and twisting in the air….

Loki’s heart was jumping, spinning, twisting, racing…

And the beast started to slow.

Thor hung on, even as he bled out and climbed further on the yak, over the hilled shoulders, the heavy head…

Screams and cheers of joy sounded as Thor put the bit in its mouth and the yak began to move its head about. It was tired, so much movement had proved to be exhausting and they all watched as it gave up and started to move on Thor’s command – even if it was hesitantly.

Two wrangles arrived to take the reins and a healer accompanied them as Thor was helped down, placing a ladder on the yak’s shoulder. The wranglers controlled the yak and the healer let Thor place a hand on his shoulder and limped to safety.

Loki wasted no time in going there, reaching them just as Thor was sat down on a bench, his leg being tended to. The healer was fussing and Loki came over, stopping next to them.

“Let me” Loki crouched by him when the healer obliged.

The two watched Loki hover his hands over Thor’s injury and the space between began to tremble, like vapour over a hot pot. Thor watched in wonder as the skin stitched together, the blood started to fade as though washed off. Even the rip in his trousers fixed itself and when he was done, Thor felt a deliciously cool sensation over his skin.

When he sat back, his work done, Loki looked at Thor, who had the most annoying grin on his face.

He scowled “What?”

“Nothing” Thor beamed, making Loki glower harder.

The other handlers were quick to take the yak to the stables and Laufey, Helblindi and the others jogged over, clapping for Thor.

“That was fantastic!” Helblindi said “I thought for sure you were going to be thrown off”

“Fly, actually” Laufey laughed “I had a few mages here, ready to catch you midair if that happened. Nothing good comes of hurting the future King, aye?”

Loki huffed in laughter, watching them surround Thor. It was no secret many wanted to befriend him.

A good relationship with the future King of the most powerful realm in this universe was a good thing and they all began to make a good repertoire with Thor eagerly.

And it was no secret that, in doing so, Loki was sort of pushed back. Or rather, he stepped back, letting Thor enjoy his moment.

He felt a touch to his arm and looked to see Farbauti there, looking at him, grief in her eyes.

Thor’s words came to him, about how they both had changed and he sighed, turning to let him pull him into her arms.

Her hands clenched in his tunic, his fingers played with her hair.

“I’m sorry” Loki whispered, kissing her shoulder “Please forgive me”

“I do” she said “I didn’t mean what I said, Loki, I really didn’t”

“I know” Loki pulled back, looking down at her “Maybe … we should go to a more private place?”

Farbauti nodded, took his hand and let him lead her away. They thought they went unnoticed, but a pair of blue eyes watched them go and a gentle smile came over Thor’s lips as Loki went to mend things with his mother.

***

As far as conversations went, this was not one of the lighter ones Loki had with his mother.

There were points where they angered each other once more, accusing, hissing, rasping at one another. They also tried leaving the rooms, but stopped when they realized that all this, getting it out in the open, was more important.

And it was, it really was.

Loki told her how he’d expected something else and got another thing entirely when they met. He had thought that he would be in his mother’s arms, they would go home and live like they had.

Farbauti hadn’t expected him to return. She was just looking for him because she wasn’t ready to face the fact that he was gone. In her mind, she was healing, then hope flared in her and she expected a Loki who was in need of her comfort.

She got a Loki who had shut down, become angry, lashed out and was so, so different than the son she’d lost. To top it off, he was engaged to be wed to Thor.

Or at the very least, they were in a relationship.

It left her without purpose and then Laufey returned to her and stirred up all these feelings inside that she had thought lost. He had given him no real answer, she told Loki, she was still sorting her feelings out, but she did want to see if there was any chance of a reunion between them.

It wasn’t heard of for a King to have two wives, but Farbauti wasn’t thinking along those lines, she was thinking about where to live, how to live now that so much had changed. Would Jotunhiem be friendly to her once Loki is gone? Once he left would things be hostile?

Loki had found out the hard way that his taint, his time with Taneleer wouldn’t be gone soon. It was something he would have to live with.

And Farbauti had to live with the distance between them. They were close once, now she knew little of him, other than what he shared voluntarily.

They had to make peace with that and with each other’s choices.

Loki lay on the floor, his head on Farbauti’s lap as she ran her fingers through his hair. They were laying before the fireplace and enveloped by a nice, gentle sort of silence. It was easy  and light, which both of them enjoyed.

The unpleasant conversation was behind them and though by no means over, left their chests lighter.

“Tell me about Thor” Farbauti said, leaning back against a couch “He seems nice and talks a lot but I hardly know anything about him”

Loki smiled “He’s like that, aye”

“How old is he?” Farbauti asked

“Thirty seven” Loki frowned “I think … I don’t remember”

Farbauti stared “You don’t know how old your intended is?”

“He’s not exactly my intended” Loki told her “Just … a paramour”

“Still, you two must have some sort of agreement” Farbauti said “Right?”

Loki thought back on Thor’s offer, to elongate their – whatever it was – and hummed.

“We aren’t committed, if that is what you are asking” Loki told her “Why? Do you oppose?”

Farbauti thought about it “Not exactly oppose, just worried. Taneleer already ruined your reputation… I don’t want anything more to happen to it”

Loki cocked his head to the side to look at her “What do you mean?”

“I mean the issue is delicate” she stroked his forehead “if your association ends and Thor leaves you … it could get worse. Our people are never really open minded, you know. I hate the whispers going around already, I don’t want them to get worse”

“Oh”

Loki frowned, his mind thinking about what she said “But it will fade, these talks always fade away, we aren’t a small town where gossip ruins people”

“Nay, we are not, but it’s us, Loki, when have things ever been easy?”

Right now, was the answer.

Loki had never not had to worry about possible intruders or thieves when he was sleeping, he never not worried about food or the like, either. These past few days were ideal for him, they were so free of everything that stifled him before.

He didn’t know if it was smothering, freeing or crippling.

Perhaps all three.

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, aye?” Loki asked

“As you wish, darling”

Loki smiled, but it didn’t really reach his eyes. And even after, Farbauti’s warning kept circling in his head.

That’s why, when he got to their chambers after dinner and Thor pressed him against the wall to kiss, Loki stopped him. He placed a hand over Thor’s lips and pushed him back, just a little, looking into those bewildered blue eyes a moment.

“We need to talk” Loki said

“Oh no” Thor grimaced “I’ve never liked those words”

Loki gave him an unimpressed look, then moved away, going to the bed.

“Sit, Thor” Loki said “There is something we should discuss”

Thor came over, sitting beside Loki after kicking his boots off and placing his feet very confidentially in Loki’s lap, leaning back against the pillows, arms behind his head.

“Discuss away”

Loki gave his feet a look, then looked at his face, his back and voice stern “I was upset because of my reputation here last night, yes?”

Thor nodded “Aye”

“I think that … once we part ways, it will get worse” Loki told him “Being a monster’s … _whore_ …, then discarded by the Prince of Asgard will leave a toll on me”

Thor, who had opened his mouth to tell him not to call himself _that_ , stopped “What do you mean?”

“I mean, I will forever be shamed, as ridiculous as it sounds” Loki told him “and would rather not risk unemployment or poverty after our time together is over”

Thor raised a brow “Alright … how can I help?”

“Perhaps if I had some sort of training, possibly in Asgard, I could …” he said “become a warrior there? That way I can earn more, support my mother, have a solid reputation again”

“A training as a warrior?” Thor asked “That’s all?”

Loki nodded “Yes, why?”

Thor chuckled “You should ask for a little more, maybe, I can even do that. But consider the training done. I can have you enrolled in one of the three year programs in Asgard, complete with a home, if you wish. That way you can save up before you return here”

His heart had started to race the longer Thor spoke and Loki stared “W-What? Just like that?”

Thor shrugged “I would be happy to, Loki and not just because you and I are – doing things – more because I feel obligated and feel very happy in aiding you somehow, even if it is this way”

“I never asked because we were ‘doing things’” Loki smiled when Thor blushed “But because you are my friend. I didn’t think of it in any other sense”

Thor smiled, then sat up and cupped Loki’s cheek “I would do more if you let me, but I have a feeling you will stab me”

“I probably will” Loki turned his head to kiss his palm

“My menace” Thor pinched his cheek, laughing when Loki hissed out an insult Thor didn’t know he knew “Sorry, couldn’t resist”

“Please try” Loki rubbed his cheek, then lowered his hand from the red blooming over his skin.

Thor hummed and lay back once again, closing his eyes then spreading his arms “Come here, I want you next to me”

Rolling his eyes, Loki shoved Thor’s feet off, then bent to undo his laces.

“I’d rather not” Loki said “I’m not exactly tired”  

Thor huffed as Loki came over, straddled his hips and looked down at him. He was a pleasant weight on Thor and the prince instantly reached over to set his hands on Loki’s hips.

He hummed in approval “I must say I do not mind this”

“Of course you won’t” Loki said, reaching over and starting to undo the laces of the soft, thick vest Thor wore over his tunic “You’re a barbarian, someone who likes these sort of things”

“I don’t see you complaining” Thor winked at him, then bit his lip when Loki pushed the hem of his tunic up once he was done with his vest “You like this behaviour”

“I never said I disliked it” Loki scooted back, sitting on Thor’s knees and lowering his head to Thor’s toned body.

Thor growled, his hands brushing through Loki’s hair as he kissed down his chest, his stomach.

“You’re more barbarian than me right now, Loki” he purred.

Loki smiled against his flat stomach, then opened his mouth to bite him hard, just beneath his ribs.

Thor hissed and gave his hair a tug “That hurt”

He felt Loki’s low laugh against his sculpted chest, the little menace had moved upwards. He licked the bumps and lines on Thor’s muscled form, tasting him, making every movement carnal when he bit him, his chest, his shoulder, his neck.

Thor hissed at a particularly vicious bite to his neck, then groaned when Loki soothed it with his tongue.

“Bite me any more than you have and I will have to think about retribution” Thor told him.

“Will you now?” Loki straightened, his lips swollen, his cheeks pink “What will you do?”

Thor smiled at him and grabbed his waist, startling him, just a little.

“I’ll show you, my dearheart”

Loki yelped as they were flipped over and Thor was quick about divesting him of his clothes. Loki hung on him, whispering soft words and gasping when Thor bit him, much like he had.

He nibbled down his neck, his hands slipping into Loki’s trousers and stroking him into hardness. He felt Loki’s nails scratch his back, he felt his body tremble beneath his as Loki started to give himself up to the pleasure he felt

It was inevitable then, that in his desire and wrapped so lovingly, that Loki said the first thing that popped into his head, unthinking of the effect his words would have on his bedmate.

“Oh, _yes_ , lover...” Loki whispered “Gods, Thor, I do love you”

His mind caught on to what he said a moment after Thor stopped, a moment after Thor leaned back, a moment after he looked at Thor, a furrow in his brow and his body tensed.

Aye, Loki realized after Thor tensed up and his face looked like he’d hear anything else, that he’d told Thor Odinson that he loved him.

Shocking, because Loki hadn’t come to the any realization of the sort before this exact moment.

That yes, he might just be in love with Thor Odinson, future King of Asgard.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	17. Break Me, Shake me (Take Me Over)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re stupider than I thought” Thor shook his head “Just bloody stupid. You’re a jealous boy, nothing else...."

Chagrin went through him more than any other emotion he felt, at least at that moment.

There he was, on his back, half naked, with Thor, the prince of Asgard looming over him, much in the same state. The two of them were aroused, flushed, their hair a mess and staring at each other with varying degrees of guilt in their eyes.

Or perhaps it was just loss.

A loss of knowledge of how best to react to this situation.

Loki was out of words for once and Thor seemed to be deciding whether he liked this new development or not.

Merely a moment had passed, but to Loki it felt like time had stopped between them and that this embarrassment, this shock and the mild grief he felt, were all he would ever know.

But then Thor sat back, atop Loki’s legs – great, Loki thought, he couldn’t move now – and looked at him, a frown on his face.

“Really?” Thor asked softly “Did you truly mean that?”

No, never, how could I? it was possibly the heat of the moment.

That was the first thing that popped into Loki’s head but he knew he owed Thor a little truth.

“I – I don’t know” Loki whispered

“You don’t know?” Thor asked “Then why did you say it?”

“I don’t know why I said it, Thor, leave it be” Loki fell back against the pillows, looking elsewhere “I’m drunk. I wasn’t thinking”

Thor’s lips tightened, he didn’t like the evasion and hummed, leaning over to place his hands on either side of Loki’s head.

“You know, they say drunk people have no inhibitions” Thor said “They say what they truly feel”

“So?” Loki looked at him, frowning “Why does it matter so much? You don’t want to hear it even if it is the truth, so why bother?”

“Because I want to know”

“Why?” Loki glared “So you can leave me? Relationships are better to you when they are without emotions, remember?”

Thor frowned “Leave you? Why would I leave you over this?”

Loki looked at him, “You said it yourself, why should I think differently?”

“I didn’t mean it like that” Thor defended himself

“Then how did you mean it?” Loki asked, sitting up on his elbows and making Thor lean back.

“I meant generally, not – not with you specifically” Thor told him lamely “It’s complicated, Loki”

“You told me, at the cabin, you _told_ me that…”

“I know what I said” Thor cut in, then sighed “I didn’t think then, alright? I didn’t think I would-”

 Loki raised a brow when Thor broke off, looking at his hands, fidgeting like he was stumbling over his words even in his head.

When he didn’t say anything for a solid minute, Loki sighed “Speak, Thor. Say it plainly”

Thor shrugged, not looking at him “I didn’t think I would get attached to you, alright? I thought we would have this – this affair, Father would call me back and that would be end of it. I didn’t predict how hard it would be to part ways”

“That is why you offered to keep us together for longer?” Loki asked “Why you agreed to the training and the house so willingly? To keep me with you longer?”

“Not entirely” Thor told him “But the possibility did enter my mind”

“Thor, why didn’t you tell me before?” Loki asked him softly

“Because I am still unsure about my true feelings” Thor looked at him “I don’t want to misunderstand what I feel then hurt you or our relationship in the future. If there is something more, if there is a purer version of my feelings for you in my heart then I wish to be sure, I don’t want it to end badly”

“I see” Loki’s voice was just a little disappointed “And how long do I have to wait?”

“You don’t have to wait, Loki” Thor looked a little irritated “It’s not about that. It’s me, my feelings, not your problem”

“Well, we are engaged in the eyes of the world, so it makes it a little bit of my problem” Loki smiled “It will ruin my reputation further once I am slighted and left to fall into the hoard of spinsters in my realm”

“You are not…!” Thor said sharply, but stopped when he saw Loki’s smile “That wasn’t funny, Loki”

Loki snickered “It was a little, Thor”

When Thor didn’t laugh, Loki groaned and fell back again, an arm over his eyes.

“Such a dramatic prince I have” Loki droned “So serious and hard to …”

Loki yelped loudly, curling up when Thor dug his fingers into his middle.

“Thor!” he cackled “No!”

He pushed him off, bucked and _screamed_ in laughter when Thor continued to tickle him, punishing him, sitting on him, making it hard to move.

He tickled his sides, his belly, under his arms, watching Loki writhe and buck and cackle like an idiot, tears streaming down his face.

“Thor, stop it!” Loki howled, pushing at him “I can’t breathe!”

“Not the first time in my presence” Thor grinned, not stopping.

“No…!” Loki gasped, kicking and slapping Thor to get off “Thor!”

The room was filled with laughter, both of theirs, mingling together, then it slowly faded to sighs or contentment, whispers of passion and then gentle noises as they began to kiss.

Loki had Thor on his back again and Thor’s hands were pushed into Loki’s black hair, their mouths pressed together, Loki’s hands running over Thor’s body.

Thor hummed against Loki’s lips and smiled “You’re such a good kisser”

“Then keep kissing me” Loki commanded, groaning softly, deepening the kiss “I like it”

“Do you, now?” Thor bit his lower lip, then pushed his tongue into his mouth, growling softly “Tell me why”

“They are exciting” Loki hummed.

They turned more passionate and eventually, Thor wrapped his arms around Loki and pushed him on the bed, getting on top, never breaking their kiss. He felt those cool hands brush his hair back and he felt Loki sigh in pleasure when he started to nibble and lick down his neck.

His large hands stroked up his arms, then held his shoulders, pulling him up to enjoy him further.

And oh, how he did, all night.

It was one of the best Loki had experienced.

***

There was a hang over waiting for Loki the next morning and Thor didn’t think anything was funnier.

Last night, Thor had used his mouth and hands in a way Loki hadn’t yet experienced and he wanted him to keep going.

Whispers and pleas of ‘don’t stop…’ or ‘yes…’ were engraved in Thor’s mind and he realized that with his drink, Loki had also become a little more vocal in bed.

Not that Thor minded, he loved it. It spurred him on and oh, how he enjoyed it. He took them both to the heights of passion and Loki was making noises so beautiful Thor went on for hours. They collapsed against each other when they were spent and woke around mid morning.

Thor was in a wonderful mood and Loki – well, Loki could have had a better morning.

He’d woken up a groaning mess, walked out a groaning mess and sat before Thor at their table a groaning mess. Placing a hand on his eyes, he let out a pathetic whine, making Thor chuckle.

“I hate you” Loki droned without looking at the prince.

“Me?” Thor snickered “What did I do?”

“You let me get drunk”

“Let you?” Thor grinned, placing a mug of herbal tea before Loki “I let you do nothing, it was all your own choice”

Loki grunted, reaching for the tea without a word, ignoring the breakfast placed before them. Thor was already eating it, enjoying the bacon and other, unbelievably heavy items on their table. There was fruit there, too, possibly for Loki, but for the moment, all he wanted was to smother himself in self pity.

Thor found it hilarious, Loki’s discomfort, and delighted in making him flinch and wince whenever he talked too loudly.

Loki wanted to hurl something at his head, eyeing the jug of juice before him as it sat there, temptingly. Yet, before he could, Thor stood and went to get a Loki a saucer of water, a cool compress placed inside.

“Move,” Thor smiled, walking behind Loki “Duck your head”

Loki, head throbbing, could only obey. He crossed his arms on the table and bent his head, as Thor asked. He saw Thor reach for the compress, squeeze out access water, then felt the blessed balm at his nape.

He couldn’t help the loud sigh that escaped him when Thor placed it at the back of his neck and pressed it down a little.

“Thank you” Loki whispered

Thor smiled “No problem”

He kept the cloth firmly against Loki, turning it over when it warmed up, then dipping it back into the water to cool. Loki had ended up with setting his forehead on his arms, enjoying the gentle caring and Thor hummed to himself, enjoying doing it.

He didn’t know what it was about caring for Loki like this, serving him, kissing him, soothing him, which he liked doing, but he did.

It was like Thor was intoxicated by it, he couldn’t stop.

There was just something about him and their conversation from before came to mind.

Was he misinterpreting his feelings because they were having sex – or something close to it -  or was it something real? Thor had never truly felt this much for anyone, not even Freya, though he’d been close to her.

There was just something about Loki, something that confused him, because despite his desire not to feel anything or have any strings attached, Thor could feel them.

He felt attached to Loki somehow, differently than with Freya or any other person he’d shared a bed with.

When Loki had told him he loved him, there has been nothing unpleasant about what he’d felt. He felt elated, but over powering that was caution. Thor didn’t want to step into a committed relationship yet.

It wasn’t about being ready, he just didn’t _want_ to.

And that, mixed with what he was feeling made Thor feel confused and somewhat wary.

“Thor?”

The prince blinked when Loki pulled him out of his thoughts and looked down at Loki.

“Hmm?”

“Are you alright?” Loki asked, turning his head to look at him “You just stopped and stood there, doing nothing”

“Oh” Thor winced “Sorry”

He continued his work and though it looked like Loki wanted to say something, the Jotun kept silent. He hummed when Thor once more placed the cool cloth at his nape and things went smoothly once again.

After his delightful treatment, Loki felt better enough to stomach a little juice, but nothing else, despite Thor’s insistence, choosing to read by the fire.

He was joined, of course, not two minutes later by Thor, who made himself comfortable by placing his head in Loki’s lap and laying down on the rug beneath them.

“Read to me” Thor ordered, humming when Loki ran his fingers through his golden hair “I’m bored”

“And it’s my job to entertain you?” Loki smiled softly “Since when?”

“Since we were falsely engaged and decided to sleep together” Thor told him.

“Ah,” Loki said, looking behind him “Now I understand. Very well, let me rest my back against something, then you can relax”

Thor obediently lifted his head and Loki waved a hand, making a heavy chair come to sit right behind him so Loki could lean back against it. He set a cushion down for Thor, too.

“There we go” Loki smiled, picking up his book again “You can rest now”

Thor set his head back down, waiting for Loki to start.

“Once upon a time, there was a princess named Thor” Loki began

Thor glared up at him “I don’t like this”

“Too bad, this is the only one you will get” Loki looked down at him “Now behave”

Huffing, Thor crossed his fingers over his chest and closed his eyes.

Loki sniggered and continued “One day, Princess Thor was brushing her hair and singing to herself in the mirror”

“Could this get anymore clichéd, Loki?” Thor droned

“When all of a sudden, the door opened and her furry companion, Sir Ruben arrived”

Upon hearing his name, Ruben lifted his head from where he was sitting on their window sill.

“Sir Ruben is not amused” Thor opened one eye “Loki, I want a real story”

“This is a real story” Loki told him, his lips perked up “Sir Ruben will rescue Thor soon”

Thor grumbled and Loki gave in.

“Alright” Loki lifted his eyes to the book and began to read“In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since. Whenever you feel like criticising any one, he told me, just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had.”

Thor snorted in laughter “What are you reading?”

“A beautiful book, Thor, now shut up” Loki told him “It is this or nothing else”

Thor sighed and went silent, putting himself through the book Loki had in mind. Of course, half way through, the fire’s warm and Loki’s sweet, deep voice lulled him enough that Thor ended up falling asleep, right there.

Loki heard the softest of snores and looked down at him, seeing the thick lashes fanning his cheek, his face utterly relaxed and looking so much younger.

He’d seen Thor sleep a few times now, but never like this, never so open to study.

As he always thought, Thor was a beautiful man and Loki saw the masculine magnificence of his face. Strong jaw, strong brow, supple, plump lips.

Lips that tasted wonderful, Loki knew.

Ruben meowed from his perch and Loki narrowed his eyes at him.

“Be quiet” he whispered, flicking a blaze of magic at him.

The shining colors danced around the cat, who immediately began to swat at them and run about, chasing them when they flew aside.

Loki looked back to Thor and traced his forehead, brushed his fingers through his golden hair. It was one of the things that made him feel pleasant, made him feel at ease, and Loki ran his fingers over a gentle dent in Thor’s nose before he pulled back and continued reading.

His mind travelled far from the book, however, going to last night.

What possessed Loki to say what he had? It was true he could have just said it because he loved what Thor was doing to him, but somehow that didn’t feel right.

He had suspected that there strong feelings regarding Thor, he just hadn’t known how strong. He’d told Thor he didn’t know why he said it and that was true.

He didn’t know why he said it.

He knew there was a large portion of truth in what he said, however. Loki didn’t think that would change, despite his logic. He hadn’t felt this way about anyone and he didn’t think he would.

He didn’t think he could feel normal and think about things like this after Taneleer, but he could. He was!

A smile curved his lips and Loki glanced once more at the man sleeping in his lap.

He was….

And Loki didn’t mind at all.

***

Of course, with Ruben, no peace lasted long.

Loki had ended up dozing, too, getting in a more comfortable position when Thor woke for a few seconds, laying curled up on his side while Thor rested his head against his ribs. The cushion Thor used was now Loki’s and the book Loki was reading was on the floor beside them.

The calmness and peace had proved too much for both of them and with the tempting warmth and lack of desire to do anything, this was their solution.

But, _of_ _course_ , with Ruben, it didn’t last.

The cat, who’d had his fair share of naps and dinner left by the servants, was done licking his paws and washing his face. He played, for a few moments, with his tail, then saw something far more interesting and, if he was creative, succulent.

Thor’s fingers twitched when he was asleep and that was all it took for the cat to notice. His eyes turned large and he watched the shadows play on Thor’s hand, creeping closer, movement by movement until he was close enough.

His prey didn’t move and Ruben extended his claws and jumped.

Thor’s yowl filled the room and startled Loki awake, making him jump as he saw Thor waving his hand about

“Norns damn you, you stupid Helhiem witch!” Thor snarled, looking at his hand.

It was bleeding, of course and Loki took the situation in quickly enough, with Ruben sitting there, watching Thor with his bug eyes and Thor hissing and cussing him.

“Easy, Thor, come here” Loki stood, taking Thor’s hand tenderly.

It was bleeding and three large gashes were clearly visible through the blood pumping out. He pulled Thor to his feet and guided him to the bathroom where he ran the hand beneath cold water.

Thor hissed at the vicious sting and glared at his hand.

“That monster can’t ever leave me in peace” he growled “He needs to be locked up”

“He’s an animal, he’ll hardly learn his lesson” Loki said “Perhaps another sentence.”

“Stockades”

“Now you’re talking” Loki smiled at him.

He pulled his hand back and dabbed it lightly with the hand towel before he blew cool air on the marks.

“Oh, these might scar” Loki frowned, running his thumbs over the torn skin and flesh “I’ll do the best I can”

Thor grunted in response and watched as Loki’s finger glowed lightly and his wounds began to heal. It felt cool, slightly chilly, like Loki had placed a soothing agent over it. Two seconds passed and the wounds were gone, replaced by the lightest scars Thor had ever seen.

“There” Loki hissed his hand “All gone. Now you can make up a story for this later”

Loki turned to put the towel back and Thor studied the marks.

“I can’t even see them, what story will I have?”

“I don’t know” Loki walked to the door “use your imagination”

“I’ll tell them you did it” Thor followed “That we were at the height of passion and you…”

“Used my cat claws on you?” Loki looked at him over his shoulder, snickering “They will all think you vile”

“Nay, they will think I was so good you lost control of your magic” Thor went to the dining table where a bowl of fruit lay, looking for something to eat.

“Ha!” Loki laughed sarcastically “They will never believe you are so good as to make me lose control of my magic”

“Oh?” Thor turned to him, slowly, “Is that a challenge?”

“Yes” Loki came over, hands behind his back, chin lifted in arrogance “Why? Scared?”

“Hey” Thor reached over and grabbed his chin, tipping his face upwards “You have no idea what I am capable of”

“Is that right?” Loki smiled

“You have yet to experience me properly, Jotun” Thor stepped closer, looking into his eyes “Once you do, you will lose control of your magic”

“Oh?” Loki asked, his heart pounding in his chest

“Aye” Thor rubbed his lips with his thumb “I’ll make you louder in bed”

Loki mock gasped “I feel like telling you to go ahead”

“I feel like taking you up on the offer”

“I feel like making a bet” Loki told him

Thor blinked, then frowned “What kind of bet?”

“We do it properly, as you put it and if this isn’t what I imagine it as…”

“How do I know what you imagine your first time to be like?” Thor asked, giving him a little shake.

“Magical” Loki smiled “Now let me speak. If it’s not like I imagine, you owe me a huge favour, one I can collect whenever I wish”

“Alright” Thor said at length

“And if is it” Loki smirked, leaning closer, smiling at him “I will admit it, openly, to anyone who asks”

Thor growled and smiled, giving him a kiss “Tempting, aye, but one thing before we – go ahead with it”

“Aye?” Loki bit his lip

“Are you sure about this?” Thor asked softly “Do not do it if you think you ‘should’”

“I am not a teenager, Thor” Loki chuckled “I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t sure”

Thor looked into his eyes and for a moment, Loki thought he would see the nervousness in his eyes, but Thor only smiled.

“Very well” Thor moved his hand to stroke his cheek “Let me wake up, then we can do whatever you like, alright?”

Loki allowed it and heaved a deep breath, turning away, trying to calm his heart.

He was almost trembling and he went to where Ruben sat, picking the cat up so he could pet him and calm himself down a little. The cat immediately began to purr and Loki kissed his head. He heard Thor pull back a chair and sit down, pulling forth a plate and a few apples.

“Come, my future de flowered companion” Thor called him “And explain to me why we are going to ‘go all the way’ as many state”

Loki raised a brow at him and turned “Why? Do you require a contract?”

Thor chuckled, cutting himself a slice “Nay, I do, however, require an explanation. Nothing too dire, just … an answer. It’s too sudden, I don’t want you to regret”

“You mean you don’t want you to regret” Loki sauntered over, cat in his arms “Don’t you trust me?”

“I do” Thor pushed a seat out for him “I just want to know. Look, whenever I asked you, you always said no or you looked like I was about to slaughter you, or something like that. Why, all of a sudden, are you letting me?”

Because Loki wanted. He knew eventually Thor would leave, he knew eventually this would end, so he wanted. It was selfish of him, it was one thing he would share with Thor that would last in his mind, in his memories. He wanted to remember Thor and he felt like he wanted to share himself, too.

“I just did, is that a problem?” Loki asked cautiously “Besides, you were eager enough before, what changed?”

Thor shrugged “Just general wondering”

He looked at Loki, who watched him with a raised brow, not believing him at all.

“It’s a delicate matter, alright?” Thor said “I don’t want you to resent me”

“I doubt I can” Loki shifted Ruben in his arms so he was better supported, then nuzzled his head.

Thor, of course, made a face at the affection “Must you kiss him and me with the same mouth?”

“Oh, I’m sorry” Loki looked up, blinking innocently “Remind me to put on my other mouth for you later”

Thor gave him a withering glare and Loki stuck his tongue out at him.

“Mature” Thor snorted, turning his attention to his apples.

The slicing sound alerted Ruben’s ears and he looked at Thor’s hands again.

Thor stopped and pointed a finger at him, speaking firmly “No. Stay where you are”

Ruben looked at his finger, then at Thor’s face, his big head cocked to the side.

He let out a big fat meow and Loki scratched his chin. Thor went back to slicing and Ruben decided to enjoy his treatment.

“You want some?” Thor lifted a slice, then saw Loki involved in petting Ruben and whistled sharply, gaining their attention “Loki, you want some?”

Loki looked at the apple, then nodded and Thor reached over and put a slice into his mouth, but stopped.

“Wait, you’ll bite me” Thor realized

Loki laughed “When have you been against it, Thor?”

Thor growled in laughter, then reached over to place it between his lips “You got me there, minx”

Loki didn’t bite, however and Thor alternated between having one himself and giving the other to Loki. Ruben had gone to sleep, the lazy git, and Loki and Thor ended up talking in hushed tones.

“You never told me why you changed your mind,” Thor extended a grape for Loki “Why do you want me to have sex with you”

Loki shrugged a shoulder and finished his grape before answering “I guess I just trust you. I just had this feeling with Angrboda, I told myself it was nervousness, but it was probably instinct, now I realize.”

“Ah,” Thor pulled off another grape “Open”

Loki obediently took the fruit and Thor sat back.

“Alright, then” Thor said, tossing a grape up in the air and catching it between his teeth “Next time, I’ll go as far as you want”

Loki beamed “Done. Want to shake on it?”

Thor shook his head “Nay, cat hands, I care not for them”

That made Loki snicker and rub his face against Ruben.

His heart was pounding in his chest and he forced himself to calm down.

It will be alright.

Even if he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

***

As luck would have it, when they did decide to make an appearance downstairs, Laufey was the only one there. The royal chambers were, unsurprisingly, vast, and he sat lounging in one of his chairs, papers scattered about.

When they entered, Laufey smiled and lowered his reading glasses.

“Ah, my two favourite people” he waved them over “Do come in, I could use the company”

Thor didn’t mind, but Loki tensed and hesitated, knowing this was the first time since his fight with Farbauti that he would see Laufey.

There was no ill will in Laufey, so Loki let Thor pull him over.

“Of course, Majesty” Thor said “Good afternoon”

“Aye, why wouldn’t it be good when you wake mid day?” Laufey teased “Have you two eaten or should I order something”

“Thank you, but we just finished a lunch” Thor said, waiting for Loki to sit first.

The poor Jotun looked hesitant, not wanting to sit too close nor too far from Laufey. He seemed to be in a dilemma, but before Thor could look for a solution, Loki waved a hand and a settee skated over and allowed Loki to sit on it gracefully.

Thor sat on the couch by Laufey and kept his eyes away from the papers.

“How may we assist you?”  Thor asked

Laufey heaved a sigh and began to collect his papers “Get me a day off, running a Kingdom is hard work”

Thor chuckled “I know, tis not for everyone”

“Aye, I was just checking through the budgets” Laufey faced him “the army is taking more than education and I wanted to fix that. I fear the nobles do whatever they want once I assign things to them and then its too late for me to fix things without the public getting upset”

Thor rolled his eyes “Tell me about it. Last year Father has to assign new armour to a regiment who’d gotten theirs only half a year back. It was fine, but they insisted it was damaged, mostly from fighting marauders”

“Story of my life, really” Laufey said “What did your father do?”

“He assigned them enough to fix their armour, not invest in new ones” Thor replied “It gave them what they wanted and the remainder went to those who really needed it”

“That’s clever” Laufey said, tucking his legs under him “What else?”

“Well, Balder and I often preside in the lower courts” Thor told him “we help out the relatively smaller cases, to learn how to deal with people. It’s very taxing”

“I bet it is” Laufey agreed “But isn’t that dangerous? What if someone tries to hurt one of you?”

Thor shrugged “Father gave us the skills to protect ourselves. If someone hurts us, it’s a lack in our speed and agility. Besides, we cannot live in fear, my lord, our people shouldn’t scare us, neither should we instil fear in them”

“True” Laufey hummed “What of local delegations?”

“We never take guards to local delegations” Thor said “We protect the people with us”

“Predictable, since your army is extremely formidable”

Thor chuckled and Laufey asked him about food growth, various funds and all sort of drabble.

Beside them, listening and feeling very alone, Loki watched Laufey take Thor from him. Thor hadn’t told him any of this. Their conversations were never like this and Loki couldn’t help the spike of resentment inside his heart.

True he wasn’t a fool, Loki was an intelligent man, but these things were something he didn’t know of. He didn’t know what to say, what to add.

He sat there silently, watching one king talk to a future King.

He would never have this connection with Thor, never. Thor would never discuss these things with him.

He hated Laufey then, hated him for the debate he and Thor were having, hated him to making Thor ignore him.

Was his mother not enough? Was his father not enough? Was Laufey to take everyone from him?

He felt a heat rise inside him as they continued to talk, as Laufey made Thor laugh and Thor asked him lengthy questions.

Loki felt meaningless, he felt expendable, sitting there, waiting to be used till someone better came along. That’s how it was.

Farbauti went on to someone better, Thor was clearly getting along better with Laufey, why would he even need Loki? For sex? Aye, that was it.

And fool that he was, Loki thought telling Thor something like that would make them closer.

Fool that he was, he wanted to take their relationship further, trust Thor in a way he’d trusted no one else. He felt like an idiot for suggesting what he had and now cursed himself, cursed Thor, cursed Laufey.

His green eyes watched them talk, laugh, snicker, joke about everything and he realized he couldn’t take more.

He didn’t want to sit here, with _him_ , while he chatted Thor up.

It hurt him, he felt unseen and he’d hated it all his life.

When he was younger, sometimes he thought Farbauti forgot he was there, she was so tired, all she did was accept his help and thank him without ever really seeing him. No one had desired him, never the way Thor did. No one told him things Thor did, no one was honest the way Thor was.

Thor liked touching him, spending time with him and catering to his needs and Loki felt _wanted_. He felt desired, he felt that maybe, he was wrong and there wasn’t anything wrong with him.

Farbauti had raised him, yes. She’d done everything she could, they were close – but only on her free days. He’d lost count the number of times he fed himself dinner and put himself to bed when she wasn’t there or was stuck with whatever home she was cleaning or if she was kept late for a ball.

It made Loki hate the privileged people and Laufey most of all.

Laufey, who was taking everyone he needed in his life.

Thor was in the middle of telling Laufey another stupid story about his stupid past when Loki abruptly got to his feet.

“Excuse me” he spared neither of them a glance “I need some fresh air”

Both Laufey and Thor looked at him, surprised as he turned on his heel and walked away, his stance angry.

“What’s going on with him?” Thor asked

Laufey watched him leave “We offended him. We’ve been ignoring him and I know he takes things like this to heart, yet I somehow always manage to make him angry”

“Oh” Thor said

His eyes went to Loki, thinking between following him or leaving a King alone and being rude. Laufey could almost hear him working things out in his head and sighed.

“Go”

“Thank you” Thor shot to his feet to follow Loki.

He had quite a head start and it took a bit of work to find Loki, when Thor eventually did. The man was headed to the stables, which were free of horses and lads. The afternoon run was taking place, still and they had relative privacy.

“Loki!” Thor called “Loki, stop!”

Either Loki was too far to hear him or deliberately ignored him, because he didn’t turn back.

Thor suspected it was the latter and exhaled, following his wayward lover. Jogging through the snow proved to be a bit of a challenge, but Thor managed to enter the stables.

He truly expected Loki to be standing there, holding a rake to smash his head in, but what he saw stunned him.

Loki was just standing there, looking out through the doors, his back to Thor.

Grief radiated from him, from his stance, the way he held himself, the way he hunched over a little.

What had him so upset, Thor didn’t know but he calmed himself, getting rid of the irritation he felt at Loki’s childish act.

“Loki?” he asked, his voice sterner than he wanted “Loki, why did you walk off?”

“You were busy” Loki told him without looking back “I felt it better that you two talked”

His words angered Thor and he damned being calm to hell and walked over, grabbing Loki’s arm and turning him around.

“Are you crazy?” Thor frowned “He is your King, Loki, you can’t disrespect him like that. And for what? Petty jealousy?”

“I am not jealous, why would I be?” Loki pulled on his arm “You think I care? About him, about you? He’s just a means to an end, I’m just waiting for this – this misfortune to be over before I can leave this place. As soon as everything dies down, I am gone, so you won’t have to worry about me disrespecting him, you should be happy!”

“What are you talking about?” Thor growled, grabbing his arms “When have I ever said you I would be happy if you left?”

“Some things you don’t say” Loki tried to pull away from him “you demonstrate them. When have you ever talked to me like that? When have you told me about your past without turning the conversation back to me? You like to joke and flirt and laugh with me but you don’t like me asking you anything about yourself or your life, nor do you like it when we have a meaningful conversation. It’s like I’m forbidden to go anywhere except your bed, Thor!”

“Is that what you think?” Thor let him go and stepped back “That I have shallow conversations with you?”

“What else is it?” Loki hissed, glaring at him “Why else would you … you talk to him so openly about everything and just – just …”

“You’re a fool” Thor snarled “You are a blind and stupid fool, Loki!”

His tone made Loki blink and he stared at Thor.

“You think my regard for you is so low?” Thor asked “Is that what you think? That I give you attention only when I have it to spare after everyone else? You think my feelings so superficial?”

“You already said you don’t want feelings where I am concerned, so why does what I think matter?” Loki shot back.

Thor genuinely looked shocked, then he shook his head, straightening his back. He looked at Loki as though he was puzzled, confused, as though Loki was a mystery he couldn’t solve.

 “You’re stupider than I thought” Thor shook his head “Just bloody stupid. You’re a jealous boy, nothing else. Spoiled, angry that attention was taken from you, not even seeing that you are the only one whose attention matters! You are stupid!”

Loki jut his jaw, not letting it show how much those words hurt him.

His silence angered Thor further and he turned to storm away, leaving Loki where he was.

A few minutes later, thunderclouds rumbled above them and darkened the world more than it already was.

***

It was, Loki realized, handled badly.

Nothing good ever came from making impulsive decisions, Loki should know that. The show of temper did nothing good, despite the fact it sounded like a good idea before.

Loki should have known better than to say those things to Thor, he shouldn’t have let his emotions take the best of him but they had. And now he feared he’d lost both Thor’s favour and his respect.

And oh, how that left a bitter taste in his mouth.

Thor had avoided him all day. Everyone knew that they had a fight, even Farbauti came to help him.

But seeing her in those expensive clothes, hair done up, looking like a royal only added to Loki’s feeling of not belonging here. It only added to how Laufey was taking her from him.

She didn’t even look like his mother.

Of course that escalated to a fight as well, where he and Farbauti snapped at each other.

Loki was already fraying and he didn’t want to make things worse.

Yet, he had. He’d told her that she seemed happier here and that maybe things would be better when he left.

And in her anger, she’d agreed.

“Good, then!” Farbauti had glared “Maybe if you leave, you will get sense knocked into you and return with a better attitude! I thought you would be glad I don’t have to work, have you not been saying that for years?”

“I have but not like this!” Loki pointed to her “Not when he is the one giving you everything I cannot! What life will you enjoy when we leave here? I can’t give you all this and you clearly love it”

“There is no crime in enjoying your life when you are given the chance” Farbauti said “This is a better life for us”

“As beggars” Loki said “You might be happy, I am not. You enjoy their balls and their parties and whatever else you see here, I cannot. I hate it here, I hate him, I hate his family, I hate living here. You can stay here, Mother, or come with me, that is your choice, but I am leaving”

She had sighed, tried to get him to stop, the environment outside was dangerous. There was no logic in what he was saying and Loki thought the same of her.

He wasn’t happy here.

Everyone else was, he wasn’t. He did not like Laufey, he hated living here, he hated it.

He was happier at the cabin.

He’d told Farbauti to go away, he told her not to stop him.

And even though he said it, it still hurt that she turned and stormed off, leaving him alone as she left in a flurry of her expensive skirts.

He kept watching her, hoping that she return, changed into her own clothes, looking like his mother, at least.

But an hour later, as he held a bag over his shoulder and looked upon her from the bannister of an expensive veranda, she was sitting in the snow, smiling and laughing with Byleistr and Irpa.

He stood there, hoping to be noticed, hoping she would turn and come back, hoping that she would become his mother once again.

She didn’t and Loki turned away, walking down the hallway so he could leave.

Yet, when he turned a corner that would lead him to a way out, he found his path blocked by the only blonde headed fool in the palace who seemed to be the only one who gave a damn.

And Loki couldn’t look at him.

He kept his gaze on the floor while Thor studied him. His blue eyes went from the bag to Loki’s expression, to the way he avoided looking at him.

“Where are you going?” Thor asked “Hm? Another temper tantrum?”

Loki didn’t reply, he kept glaring at the floor and Thor exhaled, walking over to take his bag from him.

“You’re just leaving the palace?” Thor asked, his voice angry “Where were you going to go? No one likes you, remember?”

Loki looked at him, pain in his green eyes “What do you want?”

“Well, I wanted to talk and give you a chance to tell me what the hell happened” Thor said “But you seem to have other plans”

Once more, Loki stayed silent and Thor sighed, taking his arm and leading him back.

“Trust me to get the most dramatic Jotun in all of Jotunhiem” he exhaled “You would do well in stage dramas”

“I am in no mood for your mockery” Loki pulled at his arm

“I am not mocking you” Thor simply held on tighter and all but dragged him back.

Once back in that accursed room, Thor locked the door and threw Loki’s bag aside. He faced the Jotun before him.

“Now talk” Thor told him “What the hell was that? Where were you going?”

“Noticed it, did you?” Loki glared “I thought you were too busy cackling with the King to even see me”

Thor growled in frustration and stepped back “Loki, what is the matter with you? Why are you behaving like this?”

“I am not behaving like anything” Loki glared “You are the one who is suddenly in love with him and wants to spend all your time with him”

“That is not true and you know it” Thor told him “You have been acting like a jealous child all day. You fought with me, your mother, what do you want?”

Loki opened his mouth to answer, but shut it and turned away.

“Nothing, I want nothing” Loki crossed his arms over his chest “Leave it be”

“No, you tell me, right now, Loki” Thor told him “Tell me why you are so upset”

He saw so much pain in Loki, it was hurting him. He could swear there were moments where he felt it.

“Loki?” he prompted when the Jotun stayed silent.

He got a baleful look in return, which showed Thor how stubborn Loki was.

Norns be damned, he’d be luckier getting Ruben to speak.

“Fine, then” Thor made a hopeless sort of gesture “You won’t talk to me, fine. But leaving is not the answer – you won’t make anyone happy”

Thor shook his head and turned away from him, going to pick up Loki’s bag and set it on the bed. He loosened his own clothes and walked to stoke the fire so the room could warm up nicely.

When that was done, he headed to the balcony to lay on the rugs placed there and enjoy the lovely Jotun sky. The stars were slowly flickering above him tonight and the moon looked lovely, too.

Yet Thor couldn’t enjoy any of it because of the stubborn Jotun who was possibly still standing by the door, glowering at everything that moved.

If nothing else, Thor marvelled at Loki’s obstinacy.

The man refused to speak most of the night. He had dinner alone, in the chambers while Thor left to eat out only because Loki made it so stifling, he couldn’t breathe in that room, much less eat.

Of course, once he was away, he couldn’t eat either, his stomach was in knots.

It was horrible, whatever he was feeling and Thor got restless, wanting to go back to Loki but not wanting to face the unpleasantness of his mood.

It was not how he envisioned tonight.

He stayed away as much as he could, but his mind was always on Loki, on whether he was still there or if he’d eaten dinner.

Fool that he was, he likely wouldn’t.

As it was, Helblindi challenged Thor to an arm wrestling match, betting on it.

He said if Thor won, Helblindi would give him whatever he asked for and if Thor lost, then Thor would give him anything he asked for.

Thor agreed.

Because in that moment, he realized what he would ask when he won. It was clear the second they set their elbows on the table and Thor flexed his arm.

The cocky smile fell off Helblindi’s face and everyone seemed to realize what the outcome was.

And a few minutes later, Thor walked off, smiling, while Helblindi got to work on his request. He headed to their shared rooms and half expected Loki to be missing.

But, as it was, the man was seated at the table, moving his food around on his plate. When he heard Thor, he straightened and focused on his meal.

Thor simply shrugged off his cloak and started to fold it, placing it on the bed, then getting his vest off. He went to the wardrobe to pull out some nightwear, fully expecting him to say something, anything.

But, the man didn’t.

Thor rolled his eyes and went to change before he got into bed.

He gave Loki his back, unaware of the Jotun’s sad green gaze on him.

Thor didn’t stir as Loki slipped into bed later that night and curled up on his side, not touching the prince.

No words were spoken between them and for the first time since they began to share living spaces, they didn’t wish each other good night.

***

Two days passed much in the same stagnant way.

They refused to talk to one another and the tension only remained. Everyone at the palace had thought that things would be fine between them, but apparently, they were not going to be.

Loki thought Thor would have left him by now, but he stayed, despite the nastiness he felt Loki radiate.

He didn’t know how long Thor could last like this, but as it turned out, he didn’t have to.

They were sleeping when lights flashed in the clouds above, far away, then the rumbling of a portal shutting filled the air. To many, it looked like thunder and lightning, but it was something else entirely.

A black raven flew from the clouds, diving down towards the kingdom. Its wings flapped in the cold air, a letter attached to its leg.

It headed straight for Thor and Loki’s rooms, the balcony door opening itself to let the bird in.

Ruben’s head lifted the second the bird flew in, the whisper and hissing of its wings startling him. The raven flew around the room before coming down to land on the foot of the bed,  letting out a loud caw.

Instantly, Ruben puffed himself up and arched his back, his hair on end, tail fluffing up to look bigger. In reply, the raven only cawed louder and upon the bed, Thor stirred.

“Huginn, you bastard, shut up” Thor groaned, pulling a pillow over his head and turning away.

A moment after, he sat up with a gasp, his eyes wide and devoid of sleep as he stared at the bird.

“Huginn!” Thor cried, a smile on his lips as he tossed the covers aside and went to the bird “You old sod!”

The raven cawed and flapped its wings when Thor picked it up and Loki woke slowly, rubbing his eyes.

“What’s going on?” Loki asked blearily

Thor ignored him, choosing to take the scroll attached to Huginn’s leg and unrolling it.

Even from his vantage point, Loki could see the delight on his face, the slow grin that came over his lips.

“I can go home!” Thor smiled, looking like he was about to jump “Tonight I can go home!”

Grief and loss hit Loki hard and he sighed softly, laying back down as Thor talked to the bird.

“You hear that, you fowl?” Thor beamed “I’m coming home”

He almost kissed the bird right on the head but he refrained. Instead, he took Huginn to the balcony and let him go, watching him fly into the skies again.

Behind him, on the bed, Loki rubbed his face into the pillows, pretending he wasn’t hurt by the fact that Thor was leaving. And that he was likely leaving on such a bad note with him.

What would he do now?

Ruben moved to curl into Loki’s chest and looked up again when Thor came back, still smiling.

“You’re up” Thor looked at Loki “I have good news for you. I’m leaving, so I will be out of your hair – rejoice”

He didn’t wait for a reply, going instead, to open the wardrobe and taking what he came here with. Mjolnir and a the clothes they had in the cabin.

He would leave the cloaks and all, a thank you note attached to them later.

Loki sat up and Ruben let out a whine, looking at him and expecting to be pet. When Loki didn’t, he just set his head down and closed his eyes again.

He wasn’t even paying attention to the cat, his eyes were just for Thor.

“I – I’m not going to be happy” Loki told him

Thor shrugged “Tis of no consequence. We both knew this would end, why get upset over it?”

That hurt Loki more and he pushed the covers aside and got out of bed.

“Thor, don’t…” he tried “Just – Just listen, just – let me explain”

“Oh, now you want to explain” Thor turned back, his hands holding his rumpled clothing “Now when I am leaving and you see the promise of employment go with you?”

Shaking his head at the implication, Loki stepped closer “No – I mean yes, but I don’t care about that, I …”

He broke off, looking at him “I – I know how I’ve been acting, I know, I have been ignoring you and not – being reasonable…”

“It doesn’t matter, Loki” Thor moved past him “It’s over, it’s in the past, gone. You didn’t explain then, you shouldn’t explain now, it’s alright”

Desperation crawled into Loki and he ran his hands through his hair as he watched Thor pack. He was packing to leave!

Loki had been so caught up in his rage that he was making Thor leave.

He swallowed heavily and walked to Thor after the man tied his bag up. He took it from him and hid it behind his back, making Thor look up and glare

“Give that back” Thor stepped forth “Loki, this will not make me listen to you”

“You’re not leaving till I have said my piece” Loki told him

Infuriated, Thor tried to take it from him, but Loki vanished from before him, appearing elsewhere.

“Loki!” Thor shouted, angry at him “Stop this!”

Loki shook his head “N-Not until you listen. I swear, I am not saying this because you’re leaving, Thor, I swear I’m not”

“Oh?” Thor asked “Why should I believe you? After the way you’ve ignored me, why are you suddenly speaking to me?”

“Because I can’t lose you!” Loki told him “You can’t leave when you hate me, I will lose you, you can’t leave when you hate me! That is not what I want you to remember”

That made Thor frown and look at him “What?”

“You,” Loki told him, licking his lips “I – I have so much to say, I can’t say it when you are this angry so please, please calm down, let me speak, let me explain it all”

It was so damn tempting to say no. Thor should, after Loki ignored his pleading, his presence, his voice, Thor should say no.

But damn him, seeing those eyes, those sad eyes and hearing that voice made him stop. He sighed and crossed his arms, not saying anything and letting Loki know this was the only way he would listen.

His shoulders sagged in relief and Loki slowly walked over and extended his bag. For a moment, Thor thought about snatching it and leaving him here, but he didn’t. he took it and placed it aside before he sighed loudly, calming himself.

“Breakfast first” Thor told him “I need space from you to calm down”

It stung Loki, but he stayed silent and let Thor do what he needed to calm down.

Breakfast was ordered and delivered while the two dressed up, Loki’s thoughts were heavy on his head and heart.

Once they sat down and half their food was gone, Thor set his goblet down and looked at Loki.

“I’m calm” he said “Tell me what happened”

Loki licked his lips and didn’t raise his gaze from his meal.

“I – I haven’t been honest as I should be with you” Loki told him “I didn’t know how to say what I wanted, I didn’t know how to – to articulate.”

If Thor didn’t believe him, he didn’t show it and Loki slowly set his fork down.

“I have let it be implied that my life, even before I was caught was good” he told Thor “you often mentioned how I was lucky to have my mother alive and well and I let you believe I had a good childhood, when in truth, it was – it was lonely”

Thor frowned “I gathered that much. Go on”

“I didn’t – I don’t have friends” Loki told him “I don’t have family, I don’t have anyone. Mother, though she cares and all has moved on, established her life without me, she’s mourned me and now she doesn’t know what to do to me. Others either pity me or hate me, my reputation is gone, I have – I had only you and …”

He broke off and Thor raised a brow

“And when I saw you talking to him so freely, so happily, I lost it” Loki told him “the last person I had was being taken away, I didn’t think. I’m sorry, I was jealous, you were right, but I had reason to be. I felt pushed away, I felt threatened, our relationship felt threatened…he’s taken my father from me, he’s taking my mother and now …”

“You thought he was taking me?” Thor asked softly

Loki didn’t reply, he nodded “I saw it happening. I shouldn’t have acted like that, you were right, but at that moment, I couldn’t help it”

So Loki was possessive, Thor realized. It was endearing, really, as long as he didn’t become overly clingy.

Thor sighed and extended his arm, nodding to Loki “Come here”

Loki looked at him suspiciously and Thor chuckled

“Stop glowering, come here” he ordered

Rolling his eyes, Loki stood and came to him, sitting in his lap when Thor pulled him over and looking at him.

“There, I’m here, now what?” Loki said rudely

Thor smirked “Kiss me, fool, and you are forgiven”

Loki leaned over and Thor placed a hand on his lips.

“But, only if this doesn’t happen again, Loki” Thor said “I do not like dramatic shows of temper over nothing. You need a good reason before you do something like this”

Loki gave an exaggerated roll of his eyes but said nothing.

Thor pulled him down for a short, sweet kiss, then let go.

“Now off, I need to eat”

Huffing, Loki stood, brushed himself down and went to his own chair.

“I’m sorry, too” Thor said, making Loki look at him “The things I said weren’t nice, either”

Loki hummed “You’re forgiven, as long as this doesn’t happen again. I do not like dramatic shows of temper, Thor.”

The cube of sugar that became mysteriously airborne hit Loki on the forehead and dropped to the floor with a click as the room became free of the tension that had plagued it the past three days.

***

Thor’s departure was an hour away and Loki could feel his heart bleed.

It was decided, between him and Thor, that it would be best that Loki didn’t accompany him right now.

And the fact that Thor was the one who suggested it, shattered Loki’s heart.

They had been in front of everyone when Thor said that he was going alone to make preparations but he’d seen Loki die then.

He’d seen it with his own two eyes.

And the pain that caused him was immensely torturous.

Because Loki left after that and Thor had to stay, take everyone’s farewells and goodbyes.

Laufey had a present for him, so did Helblindi and Byleistr. The King gave him a pendant made from Jotun black diamond, something so rare even Odin didn’t have it.

Irpa gave him a book on Jotun traditions and customs while the royal siblings gave him the polished horn of a Jotun yak.

It was beautiful and Thor cherished these gifts, eager to take them back. They would all miss him and he would miss them, surely. So saying goodbye was somewhat emotional.

Farbauti kissed him on the cheek and gave him her prayer book, then wished him well.

Thor, Mjolnir with him and his mission completed, had nothing left here. His belongings in his hand, he headed out, waving to the royal family as he tossed his hammer up and flew into the skies.

But he didn’t go where the bi frost would fall.

He went to their chambers.

The last, most meaningful goodbye was waiting for him with a drink and a kiss.

Thor landed on the balcony of his former room and walked inside.

The drinks were there, Loki was not.

Thor feared that he wasn’t there and almost panicked.

Almost.

Thor was about to turn back when he heard a soft inhale and looked to see Loki emerge from the bathroom. He’d just washed his face and was pushing his hair back as he walked out, not having seen Thor yet.

And for just a second, Thor saw the unguarded misery and anguish on his features. It felt like it was settled in his bones and in that moment Thor knew.

Thor knew that Loki hadn’t been lying, he knew why Loki had said it, he knew that someone who looked this miserable just because Thor was leaving hadn’t said it in the throes of passion.

He’d meant it.

Loki loved him.

Loki was in love with him.

The feeling didn’t leave him cold this time and the moment Loki spotted him, Thor let his bag and hammer drop to his sides as he strode over to him, cradling his head in his hands as he kissed him.

Loki’s soft, surprised gasp felt calming against Thor’s lips and the prince pulled him closer, kissing him deeper, more passionately.

Loki kissed him right back, his arms going around Thor’s shoulders, his body pressed to his.

They stood there, against each other, together, lost in their kiss before Thor pulled back, a smile on his lips as he set his forehead on Loki’s.

“You _do_ love me”

Loki laughed softly, his eyes closed “Perhaps”

Thor kissed his forehead, his blue eyes closed at the calmness he felt and Loki’s hands tightened around his arms, as if wanting to keep him here.

Thor pulled back and tipped his head up “I’ll return for you, I swear. I won’t leave you here”

“You better not” Loki tugged on his hair “I’ll go mad with this lot”

Thor smiled, a soft laugh escaping him and kissed Loki’s head.

“Now let me have my drink and depart, dearheart” Thor told him “the sooner I leave, the sooner I will return”

“Of course” Loki said, taking Thor by the hand to the table.

Thor filled their goblets and Loki put the bottle aside, lifting his goblet to clink it with Thor’s.

“A toast” Thor smiled “To my Jotun, aye?”

“Cheers” Loki sipped the drink.

Thor threw it back and grimaced, looking at him “A little tart, isn’t it?”

“Aye, it …”

Loki suddenly felt light headed and heard a goblet drop to the floor. He frowned and saw Thor touching his right arm, at his bicep, confused.

A second later, Loki felt burning in his own arm and he screamed, stumbling back and losing his balance. He fell hard to the floor, his vision blurring as he writhed in pain, but clear enough to see what was before him.

Thor was on the floor, just like him, thrashing his head, panting and screaming in torment as he too suffered like Loki.

Their arms burned, their bodies burned and the only relief that came to them was when their worlds turned dark and they lost the consciousness, making the world around them fade rapidly into nothing,

 


	18. Unwanted Union

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His mind raced, his heart bled and he needed a solution…
> 
> His eyes fell to his potions box, his ingredients and his spells
> 
> Any solution…

_He was panicking._

_His heart was pounding nearly out of his chest, he ran his hands through his hair and paced._

_Thor was going to leave, he was going to leave and it was over, things between them were **over**. He’d seen it, when they were saying goodbye to his ‘family’, when he met them with warm hugs and the smile on his face couldn’t be wider._

_Loki knew it. He’d seen it and he’d felt a part of him die, rotten, black and hard._

_No matter what Thor said, he would leave him again, even if Thor believed that he would return, Loki knew the truth._

_He saw the future, he knew what would happen._

_Thor would promise to return, then delay it by one day, one more day, a week, a month, two months, three, six, one whole year would pass and Loki would be here, stuck and waiting in the palace._

_One year would turn to two, then three, then time would mean nothing to Thor even as Loki would count time, would measure every grain of sand in the innumberable hourglasses around him._

_He would go mad, Thor would move on._

_He would stay in this despicable palace, where his mother would enjoy her life and Loki would hate his own. Thor would forget him, despite his promise, because what was Loki?_

_No one_

_What could Loki offer him?_

_Nothing._

_Loki was nothing, he was no one and just like everyone had, he would leave, realize a life without Loki was easy to like, easy to love. Loki would remember only the parting smile Thor would give him and the false promise in his eyes._

_That was what he would have, even if Thor promised him the world._

_Loki wouldn’t get it._

_People like Loki didn’t end up with people like Thor._

_It was like setting a block of coal next to a block of gold. The gesture would only prove to show how ugly the coal was, how mismatched they were._

_Who would accept? No one, in time not even Thor._

_And Loki would lose his mind when Thor realized it._

_Speaking of, the man was due to be here, he was supposed to come here and seal their fate without knowing. A fate where Loki would be sentenced to the life of a beggar, staying here, watching his mother enjoy the luxuries of a palace._

_His heart jumped in his throat, his mind twisted and turned in agony._

_He couldn’t live here!_

_He couldn’t!_

_Taking a deep breath, Loki ran his hands through his hair and thought. His mind raced, his heart bled and he needed a solution…_

_His eyes fell to his potions box, his ingredients and his spells_

_Any solution…_

He woke to the sound of a thrumming sound close by, like the hum of a strong engine or a big machine. It was dull, possibly because his consciousness was returning slowly, then he was woken by the stinging in his left arm, on his bicep.

It felt swollen and he groaned softly, opening his eyes to try lift his head, but the world started to spin.

He could hear muted voices, he could hear clinking and some sort of soft dripping close by. He tried to think but his head felt like cotton was swaddled inside it, like he was so thick up there that nothing could get in or out of his head.

“Easy, young Prince” a woman came, pressing a compress to his forehead and helping him lay back “You’ll topple right off the bed”

He looked at her, his eyes bleary, reddened, as though he had been crying.

She had soft hands and a gentle face, plump and sweet looking. Her blond hair and blue eyes instantly marked her as Aesir and Loki couldn’t get rid of the feeling that he knew her. He blinked slowly, almost drifting back to being unconscious, but managed to gain enough coherence to open his eyes after a few seconds.

“Aye, good lad” she smiled “Now try and speak, tell me if you can hear me, Loki. Can you?”

Loki parted his dry lips and whispered a soft “Yes”

“That’s good, now let’s try and stay where we are, aye?” she made him lay back down, wary of his arm “Just stay here, I’ll tell the Queen you’re awake. She was very worried”

Loki closed his eyes, breathing slowly, trying to gain coherence.

His mind went through what happened and he came up with painful memories and the harsh, cruel burning on his arm. He remembered seeing Thor fall to the floor, felt himself fall, too.

He remembered the pain, then this.

And he had no idea what _this_ was.

Loki groaned and tried to raise his arm enough to at least massage his temples, but found even that difficult. Everything was suffocating him.

“Here, dear, drink this”

Another familiar voice spoke to him, then a growl sounded from further off, too muted for him to understand the words.

“Hush, Thor, now is not the time”

Loki sipped the drink and it tasted heavenly, he wanted more, but the woman pulled the cup back.

“Slowly…” she laughed “I know it’s good, I made it myself, but be slow about it”

Loki opened his eyes to slits and saw a red haired woman looking at him, her blue eyes smiling. He knew her and as she gave him the delicious syrup, Loki started to understand everything around him.

“Queen Bestla” he groaned

She smiled “None other than”

Behind him, his head gold and glowing, stood Thor, watching Loki with his arms crossed, his face displeased. He looked angry to Loki and as the woman who’d aided him before returned, he recognized her as well.

Eir…the head healer in Asgard.

He was in Asgard.

Understanding crashed down on him and he sat up, looking at Thor, trying not to fall over this time, despite it almost happening.

“What happened!?” Loki demanded

A hand settled on his shoulder as Thor glared and Eir came to fiddle with the gauze on his arm. He spared her a glance, but then looked back at Thor.

“As if you don’t know, _Trickster_ ” Thor growled at him.

His voice turned Loki cold and slowly, he looked to where Thor was glaring, looked to his arm.

There, where the gauze was taken off and the skin was puffy and swollen around it, lay the mark.

Loki felt his mouth hang open as he saw it, as he _recognized_ it.

He knew what this curse was, he knew how powerful and unbreakable it was, he knew!

It was the mark of a Soul Bond, tying one entity to another, till death parted them.

In ancient Jotun customs, this was the way many married couples lasted centuries together or perished if they parted their ways. The mark stayed calm as long as they were wed, but should they refuse to or be unable to, the infection, the red skin would turn to wounds and spread across the body, leaving the person in terrible anguish till eventually they died.

Thor had let his guard down and Loki had used him, tricked him and trapped him.

Now he was stuck with him, paying for his mistake for the rest of his life.

When he’d woken up, he was home, laying on a bed next to Loki, who looked lifeless, he looked dead and gone, Thor almost lost his mind.

He’d fallen to the floor, uncaring of his own injuries and tried to drag himself to Loki, if only to hold him or try to wake him up. His heart had stopped, his soul had broken, he was terrified.

He’d been stopped by the healers and he fought, lightning and thunder crashed above them as he struggled to get out of their grip. His arm was burning in agony, blood was seeping from it but he fought, growling and fighting till they had to strap him down. Even then he screamed and shouted, trying to escape.

Loki wasn’t moving, he wasn’t waking up, Thor was dying on the inside because of it.

His heart was shorn to pieces and he was close to begging them to let him out when Odin arrived, his face pale, his eye scared. Behind him was Frigga and at the door, watching them, was Balder.

Frigga, the woman who had saved Thor was quick to calm him, telling him Loki was alive and that Thor needed their attention first.

Her calm voice, her cool hands on his face helped him breathe enough to calm down. He watched as they cleaned up the blood on his arm and hissed at the burn that went through him.

It hurt, by the norns!

His eyes watered but he tolerated it, looking to Loki every now and again as he started to tell Odin what happened.

And it was then that Thor learned what had happened.

Odin’s face was grim, his voice angry as he told him.

They came right to the palace when Hiemdall told them Thor was unconscious, startled everyone, ran to their room to see the two of them ion the floor.

They feared the worst until Irpa stepped over and told them what this was. Laufey turned pale and ordered the room to be searched until the culprit was found.

As it happened, it didn’t take long.

Because there, in Loki’s belongings were the ingredients needed for this spell. Everything he needed was there, hidden deep inside a box when Irpa checked it, with Loki’s fingerprints over it.

He’d done this.

Loki had.

Thor hadn’t believed it, for the longest time, he hadn’t. Loki would never do this, not to him. Not like this, not _this_!

But the more he listened, the more it started to make sense and his world fell apart.

The spell was something that originated from Jotunhiem, Loki had all the ingredients, he was the one who served Thor the mead, he was the one who was alone with the goblets and all.

The evidence all pointed to him, but in his heart, Thor felt that Loki would never do this to him. He felt it, he couldn’t believe it. He wouldn’t believe it.

But then, once the shock and hurt slipped from his head, once logic set in, Thor started to think. He started to realize.

Loki had changed, instantly, after days of not talking to him he just decided to put their argument behind them and stepped forth to mend things.

He’d believed him when Loki said that he didn’t want Thor to hate him, Thor had been _desperate_ , underneath all that anger to just believe what he said and fix things with Loki, it had been _days_.

He’d been at a point where he didn’t think Loki would ever talk to him, but Loki had.

And now Thor knew why.

It broke his heart, when he realized it, when he found out how badly he’d been betrayed, how badly he’d been trapped.

By _Loki_.

Loki, who was now looking at him, his eyes wide, his pretend fear writ all over his face.

Had Thor been wiser before, he wouldn’t have had the conviction to stand there, stone cold and unmoving, he would have gone to him, calmed him down but no.

He knew better now.

He knew so much better.

***

“Leave us”

His voice was firm, his stance unforgiving as he stood there, hostile and angry.

He’d been simmering that rage inside him for the entirety of  Loki’s treatment, watching the healers and Eir fuss over him, watching his grandmother order them to give him everything he needed, including magic, which Loki didn’t even deserve, the lying witch!

Thor had his jaw clenched, his hands twitched to wring his scrawny neck.

Thunder rumbled outside, louder when he saw Loki try and think, try and talk his way out of this.

But he would not be able to, Thor was furious.

His eyes stayed locked on Loki’s as the younger man avoided looking at him, as he thought about how to lie his way out of this, in Thor’s opinion.

Monster, demon, lying little…

“I didn’t use it”

Thor narrowed his eyes to angry slits “What?”

Loki inhaled deeply, then looked at him “I made the potion – I didn’t use it”

Thor scoffed, turning away “Of course”

“It’s true!” Loki stood, taking a moment to gain his balance “I – I was going to, I thought I would but I couldn’t. I know it was a stupid decision…”

“Nay, a clever one” Thor growled “Isn’t it convenient that you managed to score yourself a prince right as you saw him walking away and leaving. I would say that’s clever”

“No” Loki said firmly “That is not my intent. Besides, we can fix this, all I need…”

“All we need are my hands around your throat, squeezing the life from you!” Thor shouted, angry, furious, livid and ready to murder when he lost his control “How could you do this!? You lying, witch!”

Thunder roared up above then, shaking the palace and lightning flashed, making Loki flinch and feel the beginnings of panic crawl up his spine.

Loki stared at him, wide eyed “Thor, I swear I didn’t…!”

“Liar!” Thor grabbed a box of gauze beside him to hurl at Loki “You ruined me…!”

He broke off, growling in pain, his hand going to the mark on his arm as he fell to his knees.

Loki watched in horror as blood pumped from Thor’s wound, falling to the floor in thick red drops. Thor was bent in double, hair falling over as he tried to stop his agony. It burned, it was like someone was pulling his skin off and ramming an iron poker inside.

A putrid, sickening smell began to fill the air around and pus started to drip down his arm, making it unbearable. Thor’s hand was coated in it as he held the mark, the angry, vicious wound that it had become in a span of two seconds.

He felt Loki come closer, that traitor come closer and crouch by him. His face was red in pain, he couldn’t breathe, yet when Loki touched him, he preferred the torment over it.

“Don’t touch me!” he lashed out, knocking him to the ground “Do not taint me with your filthy hands!”

“Thor, you’re making it worse!”

“No!” Thor shouted “You’re making it worse, this is your fault! You did this to me!”

“Be that as it may, getting angry will only worsen it!” Loki snapped “Let me fix it!”

He tried to move closer but Thor pulled away with a growl of hatred, his blue eyes burning into Loki’s.

“I don’t want you near me” he rasped “Despite what is happening, I never want to see you again!”

Loki hissed in irritation as he watched Thor sit back against the healing bed, his blood still pumping out from his wound. His face was haggard, almost grey and sickly, he was in a cold sweat and miserable.

And the Jotun couldn’t take it.

He stood with a sigh and went to get some gauze and cleaning balms off the shelves then sat beside Thor.

“You can hate me later” he told Thor “At least let me heal you, then I will vanish”

“You can’t vanish, witch” Thor snapped, letting him lower his hand so Loki could see his arm “We both die. You stay here and we fix this as much as he can”

Loki looked at him at the insult, but shook his head, keeping his mouth shut. Slowly, he started to clean the wound, ignoring the pained grunts that came from Thor and slowly starting to soothe the skin. It looked terrible and Loki had to end up using magic to heal as much as he could, until the mark was faded and barely there.

Thor was looking at it, too, and seemed to realize that the calmer he was, the chances of this hurting were minimal. He ignored Loki entirely and stood, looking down at the bloody mess he’d left.

Loki was picking up the used items and Thor shook his head, glowering at him.

“I trusted you” Thor told him “Now I pay the price”

Loki spared him a single glance, then went back to working, picking everything up and taking it to the trash bin. He was aware of Thor’s eyes following him but refused to look back and see the rage in his gaze.

Once he was finished, Loki crossed his arms and turned, looking at the floor.

“I told you, I didn’t use it” Loki said softly “I’m not lying”

“And I told you I don’t give a damn” Thor snapped at him “You betrayed me. Even if you didn’t use it, you made it. You made this potion, you wanted to use it on me!”

Loki shook his head “I didn’t want to…”

“But you still made it” Thor growled “And now we are stuck like this for the rest of our lives. Are you happy? You wanted this, didn’t you? Now you get what you want and I get to be married to someone like you till I die!”

Loki looked up sharply “What?”

Thor smiled nastily at him “Shocked? What do you think would happen? That we stay together, unbounded by any law or union and this helps us? Nay, you are not that stupid, your intent was to get yourself a prince and now you will”

“I won’t marry you” Loki said firmly “I will not! Despite what you think I have done, spending my life with you is not the answer”

“I couldn’t agree more” Thor said, walking towards him.

There was rage in every step he took, there was power and radiated his anger, focused it all on Loki. Behind him, lightning flashed, making him look like a terrifying wraith, especially when, in the small room, static began to charge the air.

Loki’s eyes widened, his hands trembled and he started to retreat with every step Thor took. His heart was racing and he felt his mark start to twinge and sting.

He was suddenly in that room again, closed up, lights flashing, sound tearing his sanity apart…

“You deserve the cells, not the Royal chambers” Thor told him “You deserve to spend the rest of your days rotting in chains but that cannot happen, so from now on, you have a new purpose, one you will fulfil whether you like it or not”

Loki swallowed audibly when he felt the wall behind him and looked into Thor’s eyes as the absolutely livid Prince spoke.

“You will live to keep me alive” Thor stood right before him, toe to toe with Loki “That is your purpose, nothing else”

“You cannot make me” Loki glared back “Even if I did do this, you cannot make me”

Thor smirked, a lethal curve of his lips that made Loki’s blood run cold. Nay, not his blood, he was feeling cold. All of him, the smile was nasty, a thing of evil and Loki swallowed heavily.

“I can” Thor whispered “Because if you don’t, I will skin you alive, then heal you, then skin you alive over and over until you long for something as sweet as the agony of that mark on your arm”

Loki grit his jaw “Threatening me won’t change anything. I still won’t consent”

“I don’t need your consent” Thor told him “since you were so eager to look into old Jotun customs, I was too. Your father will give the consent I need and he has, as per Jotun custom”

“My father is dead, you cannot do this” Loki said “Thor, please, don’t sentence us to this”

“You’ve already sentenced us!” Thor shouted

He grabbed Loki’s shoulders, startling him, then shook him.

“If you hadn’t don’t this, none of this would have happened!” Thor yelled “I would have been free, we would have been free, I wouldn’t have been tied to someone like you!”

He shoved Loki back into the wall angrily and stepped back, shaking his head.

“You’re poison!” Thor hissed “Evil, poisonous and cruel, Loki. All you thought of was yourself, you never thought about me! You told me you thought you loved me, but you said it only to manipulate!”

“No, I -”

“Silence!” Thor shouted, glaring at him, the voice of a king resonating in the room, his power resonating outside “No more from you. I will not hear another word from you”

Loki wanted to protest, he wanted to hit Thor, too, but he knew it would do no good. He didn’t do this! he didn’t manipulate Thor, he didn’t!

He made a huge mistake, yes, but he didn’t go through with what he wanted.

He didn’t want to!

“I won’t marry you” he  said instead

“You will” Thor said, his voice soft, sounding hurt “You don’t have a choice”

The door behind them opened and Loki saw Eir return, Frigga in tow. Then his heart faltered when he saw Farbauti, looking anxious.

“Thor?” Farbauti whispered, moving past the other two women “Dear, please…”

Thor visibly calmed, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath before he slowly turned to look at her over his shoulder.

“Lady Farbauti”

Loki’s mother licked her lips and looked to her son, then back to Thor.

“Please don’t hurt him”

“I am standing here, my lady, as you can see, I am not hurting him” Thor looked at Loki coldly

He said nothing else, but Loki felt a ‘not yet’ hammer into him after that sentence.

“D-Don’t wed him” Farbauti pleaded “Not like this”

“My lady,” Thor looked back to her, faced her “Once Loki came to my father with a threat of war if he didn’t get his way. Today, I will do the same”

Loki froze, his eyes wide.

No, Thor wouldn’t!

Thor looked at Farbauti, his gaze devoid of sympathy “If I die because Loki refuses this union, then my father and brother will declare war on Jotunhiem and it will be on your shoulders and Loki’s.”

Farbauti stared at him in shock and horror while Thor moved past her, taking his rage with him.

“You have two hours to decide” Thor told them “Then I will cancel the wedding anyway and prepare for an attack”

Loki, Farbauti and Frigga stared after him, all three of them in various stages of shock.

The doors closed behind Thor with the finality of an axe.

And it might as well have been Loki’s neck that it fell upon.

***

The Mail Order Husband.

That was what they called him.

Cackles and giggles filled Asgard as the mark, the stamp and the insult that came with the marriage was beyond tolerance.

Thor was the joke of the Capital, marrying the whore he bought from Taneleer Tivan, disgracing and tainting the name of the Odinson line.

The nobility attended the grand affair, the people of Asgard celebrated his stupidity and the affair was beautiful, despite the lack of true preparation.

Music floated from the palace walls and food was served to everyone outside, tables laden with dishes upon dishes of food. Chairs and tables were set around and about, performers played and entertained, singers sang and ballads were composed by poets.

It was a royal wedding, the realm celebrated with them.

The palace was decorated beautifully.

Garlands of flowers, thousands of them, were placed upon the pillars and walls like necklaces, enchanted to glow when the sun set.

The wedding was to take place tonight, but the preparations had begun at dawn.

The Great Hall was set with chairs and tables, carpets were placed, decorations set on the walls and were hung from the ceiling, which was enchanted to look like glass, letting in the beautiful morning light.

At night, it would glow white, like the moon, casting the room and everyone in it into a dim glow. The setting was romantic, even if the atmosphere was not.

At this moment, Lady Frigga and Queen Bestla looked over the decoration, going through the lengthy lists in their hands as they ordered the multitude of workers about. The guests that came from the other realms were already arriving and Prince Balder was organizing their accommodations with the help of Eyvindr and Olivier.

It was chaotic, everyone was running everywhere, a hundred servants had been hired on that day to aid those already working in the palace.

It was true chaos.

And within this chaos, this celebration and false marriage was the lonely Jotun who didn’t even want it in the first place.

He’d been told to prepare for a life he didn’t want and to pay for a mistake he made.

Farbauti had gone early to talk to Thor and get some sense and control over the situation but Loki knew it wouldn’t happen. Thor was far too angry and far to hurt for any sense to be knocked into his head.

He wouldn’t listen.

He’d been unable to sleep all night and when Farbauti’s arrival in the early morning hours told him neither did she.

They stayed close, Loki in her arms, his face shocked, her words of calm going over his head as he watched his life diminish before his eyes.

The mark on his arm stung, nothing as bad as what happened to Thor, but it reacted to the moods of its wearer. Loki was numb, Thor was livid, so the pain drove the future King.

When they deemed it right, Farbauti left to see Thor and Loki sat on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands, his eyes wide.

There was no way out of this, he realized, none.

His hands shook as proof of the torment he was in after that realization and he clasped them firmly together.

He was trapped, in this place, no matter what happened, this was his destiny.

If he left, they would both die and Jotunhiem would perish. It would affect his mother directly and make things worse not only for his realm, but Thor’s. Loki would ruin the lives of everyone and he wouldn’t even live through it.

There was ceremonial armour before him and Loki longed to hurl it at something, break it apart. But only the thought of him picking it up and putting it on himself as the last humiliation he could get, stopped him.

He didn’t want any of this.

Yet he had to.

He felt his throat constrict and his eyes sting, feeling his breaking heart hurt more, when a knock sounded on the door. Loki tensed and quickly controlled his expression before it opened and revealed a beautiful blonde woman, her green eyes kind, her smile sad.

“Loki” she bowed her head “I – I wanted to see you”

Loki stared, trying to place her, his buzzing thoughts took a moment, then he smiled – if only a little.

“Amora” he greeted “You – You’re here, I thought you left”

She rolled her eyes, feeling a little out of place and awkward as she walked over. She waved a hand as though it didn’t matter.

“I volunteered to come here” she said “Thought you could use a friend”

It was so awkward, having not seen each other or talked much in so long, yet she was here, out of everyone Loki knew, she was here.

A lump formed in his throat, proving hard to force down and left Loki unable to speak for a few seconds.

Amora seemed to sense it and closed the distance between them, embracing him and ignoring how he tensed.

“I’m so sorry” she whispered “For all of this, I didn’t know. We drifted away, Loki, I didn’t know”

Slowly, his arms came about her and Loki allowed the embrace.

“It’s alright” he whispered “I’m just … at a loss at this moment, I don’t know what to do”

“I don’t, either, I wish I did” Amora pulled back, running her hands down his chest as she did so “I believe you didn’t do this, Loki. So does your mother and Queen Bestla, we are on your side, know this, we have time, still, we will try to stop this”

Loki smiled sadly and laughed “I don’t think you can. This spell is too great, it cannot be broken, only made stronger. I know it, I made it”

“But you didn’t use it” Amora said, holding his hands “If we can prove it, then…”

“Then it changes nothing” Loki cut in softly “Thor and I will die, you know this.”

Amora did and she could say nothing. Loki wasn’t accepting it, nay, he fought them every step of the way, even though Amora stayed by him. She has volunteered to stay here till Loki no longer needed her and Odin allowed it.

Besides, the lady was strong willed and offered to train the mages in their army in exchange. Odin valued her magic much.

She tried to keep Loki calm as best he could, but as the hours passed, he started to lose the calm aura he had when she arrived, drowning in his panic.

Farbauti’s gasp made her look up from her reading, from where she sat in the large couch, lounging about as she ate her grapes with one slender hand, then she stood, going  to her.

Loki sat on the floor in his robe, hands in his hair face panicked. He was rocking back and forth and the two women went to crouch by him.

“I can’t do this” Loki gasped, his eyes wide and round “I can’t marry him, I can’t, I _can’t_!”

“Loki, Loki?” Amora rubbed his back “Breathe, calm down and breathe, alright?”

His arm was twinging, the mark starting to blush in pain. Farbauti rushed to get and place a cool compress over it after pulling up the sleeve of his bathrobe. His hair was still wet and he looked broken.

“Don’t make me” Loki grabbed Amora’s hand “Please tell him not to, I cannot marry him, I cannot…”

Farbauti placed a hand under his jaw and turned his head to kiss his cheek.

“Breathe, my love, just breathe” she whispered, “Calm yourself, alright? Just calm”

Loki couldn’t, he could not calm himself. He kept shaking, trembling badly even when he could function enough to stand. The night arrived sooner than he thought possible, the fanfare felt like a death knoll, his armour felt like chains and a diadem that was placed on his forehead felt like a torture device, tightening over his skull till he thought it would crack.

His boots seemed to be made of led and the guards escorting him felt like executioners, taking him to the gallows to die.

It wasn’t far from the truth, despite the fact that the palace looked beautiful; the decorators had truly outdone themselves.

Asgard was always grand and as far as magnificence goes, it was at the very top. There was so much gold, so much shining gold that Loki feels it would hurt his eyes sometime during the day. The people in charge of this had done an amazing job. It’s slightly overwhelming and smothering, because even though it was beautiful, this was his prison.

This was his sentence for the mistake he made, he would spend the rest of his days locked up, here. In this beautiful cage.

He did an admirable job of not turning and running away, but his heart was heavy, his eyes were still shocked and his face devoid of emotion.

He was doing this, he was going to walk out there and he was going to marry a man who hated him.

Otherwise he would die and take Jotunhiem with him.

His escort took him to a small room that would lead into the Great Hall and the heavy thrum of conversation and excitement took a hold of him. It all felt frightening to him, reminding him of that room, of Taneleer, of the torture he went through.

It reminded him of how he’d escaped Taneleer because of Thor only to become Thor’s captive.

There was a chair, comfortable, set on the glossy, polished floor and Loki sat in his carefully, making sure his cape didn’t wrinkle.

Green, those were his chosen colours, or the ones most readily available, either way, they were his now.

His armour, like everything in Asgard, was gold, fit to his toned body like a glove and the diadem upon his forehead was silver.

It felt heavy with the lies that came with this wedding and the falseness of his calm.

Loki was a raging sea within his mind, but trapped because he couldn’t crash against what bothered him and break it. Instead his own sanity was corroding, his own life was.

The moment he’d agreed to this, he’d regretted it and the regret was making it hard for him to breathe now, it was killing his ability to breathe properly.

The door behind him clicked open and the heavy roar of conversation increased within the room as Farbauti entered.

She was looking beautiful and was dressed in her best, her hair done up, the dull pink of her gown going well with her. But there was sadness and hopelessness in her eyes.

Thor hadn’t listened.

She swallowed heavily and came forth, her lips parted to speak.

“My love, I …”

“Don’t” Loki whispered “It’s alright, Mother”

She felt her heart shatter and walked to him, putting her arms around him and hugging him.

“I love you, darling” she said “I’ll find a home here, work here, I won’t leave”

Loki kissed her head, holding her tight in return “No, you don’t have to be here. You’re happier there, with them. I can’t take that away from you”

There was much to say about the pain Loki felt when she merely sighed and nodded.

“Thank you” she whispered, “My love, thank you”

It was then Loki truly realized with a finality that he wasn’t first for her anymore.

It was good because the feeling left him numb enough to follow her when the trumpets and drums sounded outside, signalling Thor’s arrival.

There was only so much Loki would grieve over today, anyway.

***

The wedding had been beautiful, of that Loki was sure. And his heart was no longer in his chest, instead it was being dragged on the floor as it rested at his feet, he was sure of that too. his chest felt like it had collapsed, such was the discomfort it was in and his stomach was in knots, hurting him with every breath he took.

He vaguely remembered what it was like being led out by Farbauti on one arm, holding him and whispering assurances that seemed false to him. Her eyes were looking for Laufey and settled on him once they found him, leaving her soothing words hollow for Loki.

Yet he grasped her hand tight beneath his own and couldn’t lift his gaze as he walked down the aisle.

They all turned to him, every damn one of them was looking at the spectacle Prince Thor was marrying. They had accepted the invitation only for the chance to see him, like he was some sort of beast, foreign and strange. He might as well be, because they all watched him.

His skin crawled in disgust and he resolutely stared ahead, not even reacting to the few who whispered about him.

_I thought frost giants were bigger_

_Maybe they were half things, I have heard of them_

_Gods above, it has green eyes_

That last one was cruel and Loki couldn’t help but look at the man who said it. He was Alf nobility and openly looked at Loki, no apology in his eyes.

It.

That is what the man called Loki, It – like he was a thing, an animal. The insult made his eyes prickle and Loki feared tears would form beneath his lids, humiliating him even further. He would not cry before them all, he would not!

The aisle was carpeted with flowers, white and yellow, smelling wonderful and as they walked tiny flecks of gold dust lit the air around them, giving them the dimmest, most lovely glow Loki had ever seen. Not that he registered it, his mind was elsewhere, his freedom was gone, there was no true way for him to enjoy the beauty that surrounded them.

It was all wasted on him.

His breathing turned shallow, harsh and loud when he stopped, when Farbauti kissed his cheek and tried slipping her arm away.

He held on, not wanting her to leave and she looked at him, her face worried.

“Darling, it’s alright” she whispered

“It’s not” Loki told her softly

Two words summarized this entire thing, two words he spoke – it was not alright. He was not alright and neither was this marriage.

Yet, he had no choice and he let slip from his hands his mother, who went to stand on the edge of dais, next to Lady Frigga. And the gentle woman placed an arm around Farbauti’s shoulders to comfort her.

Loki didn’t have time to guess if it even helped his mother for he suddenly felt _his_ presence in front of him, _his_ large hand taking a hold of Loki’s cold one, _his_ intimidating, angry form still radiating hate towards the Jotun.

Loki didn’t raise his eyes off the floor, allowing himself to be walked forward to slaughter as Thor led him up the stairs of the dais to kneel before King Odin.

The King looked regal, his helmet horned and large, his eye focused down on the two men before him, ready to join them in matrimony.

Thor looked every bit the prince and groom he was, but Odin knew the truth.

He knew that the crown upon his head was a weight Thor felt stifled with, the silver might as well have been acid upon his head. His white wedding coat, adorned with his military accomplishments might as well have been a madman’s jacket. The cape coming over his shoulder could easily be a net, keeping him captive to the traitorous Jotun by his side.

His son was on his knees, his foolish Jotun was next to him, feeling victorious, no doubt.

The prejudice against his kind would only increase now that he was in the House of Odin but at the moment, Odin couldn’t find it in his heart to pity him. He was getting what he wanted, a little prejudice wouldn’t hurt.

The murmuring around the hall came to a complete stop when Odin lifted and struck the staff in his hand to the floor, the resonating sound echoed around them.

Pin drop silence filled the Great Hall, even the children who were running about at the back were still, watching this unfold or running to their parents.

“Guests, honoured nobility and men and women gathered today, thank you” Odin spoke, his emphatic voice reaching everyone without a problem “Many a year ago we thought Jotunar to be our enemies. We fought them, hated them and disowned them, allowing not even one into our homes because we thought them evil.”

He looked around at everyone, their expressions told him little, but he knew they were listening.

“But my son didn’t” Odin said “Like his Mother, Queen Gaia, he saw more than us, more than me and more than every single person in this room. He saw not through prejudice, but from his own heart. And for that, I will be eternally grateful. Theirs is a love based on seeing one another, not their skin, eyes or race, theirs is a love that is pure and one we can learn from. So it is with great pride that tonight, before all of you, I wed them and tie them in eternal joy”

Loki tried not to roll his eyes at that, but then flinched when he was addressed.

“Loki Jarson” Odin looked at him “Swear that you will wed, cherish, obey, serve and unite with Thor Odinson, future King of Asgard. Swear that you will uphold the traditions and customs of the life you are choosing. Swear that you will put Asgard and your husband before all else as you step into this marriage”

Loki didn’t want to swear but one hard squeeze from Thor’s hands nearly broke his knuckles and he licked his lips before speaking.

“I swear”

“Thor Odinson” Odin looked to the prince “My heir, Prince of Asgard, swear to wed, cherish, serve and unite with Loki Jarson, future King of Asgard. Swear that you will uphold our traditions and customs and those of the life you choose. Swear that you will put Asgard and your husband before all selfish ambition as you step into this marriage”

“I swear” Thor spoke loud and clear, his voice booming in the hall.

“Then rise, Prince Loki, son of Odin by marriage and rise Prince Thor, son of Odin by birth” Odin said “And take your wine cup in hand”

Beside them, Frigga and Farbauti walked forward, a goblet in each hand. Frigga gave hers to Loki, Farbauti gave hers to Thor.

The two took their sips, Loki doing it after Thor to ensure he didn’t make a fool of himself, then exchanged them and drained their cups.

“The rings” Odin spoke, extending his hand for Balder to put them in his palm

He handed them to Thor and Loki without a word.

Loki wanted to pull his hand back when Thor held it and put his ring on his finger, he wanted to snatch it to his chest.

“With this ring” Thor said “I thee wed”

Loki felt his eyes prickle once more as he took his ring and slipped it on Thor’s large hand.

“With this ring” Loki whispered “I thee wed”

Another resonating thud sounded from Odin’s staff and a surge of energy burst from both of them, spreading around and branching out. It would spread through Asgard before it diminishing, signalling to one and all that the Royal Wedding was now sealed.

Loki’s fate was now sealed.

Thor didn’t kiss him, Loki was grateful, but he turned and held Loki’s hand, lifting it in the air with his own as cheers erupted around them, booming loud and strong.

Yet nothing was stronger than the pain and loss Loki now felt.

Nothing was stronger than that.

***

When he was younger, or perhaps even two years past or when he was with Angrboda, Loki always knew he would have his virginity taken on his marriage bed. He had anticipated it, apprehensive, dreaming about how they would kiss for hours before Loki would allow his body to be taken by another. He imagined flowers, possibly candles and the light, airy presence of love surrounding them.

It was something he looked forward to.

It wasn’t this nasty, ugly feeling he felt crawling up his spine to claw at his skull. It wasn’t the throat clenching fear he felt when he looked upon his marriage bed and the chambers were not closing in around him like a prison.

He stood there, as he had been for the past half hour, looking at the bed, turned down for them and the subtle, yet blatantly offensive white fur pillow.

Stupid Aesir believed he was to bleed over it.

Savages, they were, barbaric in their thinking.

And Loki had married one of them.

It hurt him, knowing that Thor had succeeded in what he wanted. The moment their union was announced and the burst of binding magic came from Odin, Loki felt his mark calm and ease. Gone was the sting that he’d become used to, gone was the pain that came with the mark.

Gone was Loki’s chance to try and fix it. In his desperation he’d told Thor he could, now he realized that this outcome wouldn’t have been avoided.

Even if Thor let him fix this, they would still have to stay in a sacred union or die in pain.

The feast had been grand and all of it had been for Thor. The food, the wine, the guests, they were all for Thor. Loki was just the interesting thing that came with the wedding, the creature everyone wanted to gawk at.

Nobles and women, young and old came to congratulate Thor on his wedding but all of them stared at Loki openly. They were amazed that his kind was allowed in the palace, their badly hidden comments were proof of that.

The only thing bearable about that night was Amora.

Norns bless that woman, she had come to sit beside Loki in all her beautifully stunning glamour and made a point to loudly call out anyone who stared.

Some of her taunts were rather funny and there were points during the night where she made Loki laugh and the two shared a companionable chuckle. She had gone out of her way to help him feel better and Loki realized that she had done more that Farbauti.

His eyes went to his mother, who was on the dance floor with Laufey, lost in his eyes. It made his heart turn black and jolt painfully, the sight.

She didn’t even look at Loki but thrice the whole night.

Was Laufey that important now? Or was he always important and Loki had never seen, never noticed as the two of them spent their lifetime tired.

He’d once promised himself to give her a better life. Had he the chance now, he still would.

Now it occurred to him that perhaps she wouldn’t want that life, she would want Laufey’s life and the role she had in that.

As he realized before, Loki wasn’t first for her anymore.

He was no one’s first now.

Especially not Thor’s.

He’d ensured that with his own actions.

The door clicked open behind him and Loki turned, still dressed in his armour and crown, to see Thor walk in.

The prince looked regal, Loki could now see, he looked so handsome in his white and red, his gold and blue, he looked stunning.

And people only stared at Loki because he was the odd, ugly creature brought here. They stared at Thor because they couldn’t help it.

The body of a warrior was far superior to the body of a knight in training.

Thor reached over to tug the cape that came over his shoulder and tossed it on the bed as he passed Loki. His hands went to his collar as he started to undo the white, decorated coat.

Loki watched him go to stand before his full length mirror, watching his work, his head tipped up.

“You didn’t eat anything at dinner” Thor said.

His tone was not hostile, his gaze didn’t go to Loki as he spoke, yet Loki shrugged.

“I wasn’t hungry”

Thor hummed, clicking the buttons open and shrugging the coat off, standing there in a pale tunic that was tucked into his beige trousers.

“You should have nibbled a little” Thor draped his coat over his arm and walked to his massive closet “I have cleared out a space in the closet for you. We will get you new clothes and a wardrobe fit for your station”

Loki hummed and rubbed his arms “I do not want your charity. I’ll get my own money here”

“Your value of money is lower than ours, Loki” Thor put his coat back and turned “So charity it will be”

His nasty, hurtful words burned over Loki, who glared openly at Thor as the man pulled his clothes out.

“Does this make you happy?” Loki asked him sharply “Hurting me, humiliating me and showing me my place?”

“I haven’t thought about it” Thor faced him “I do think I will enjoy it, your discomfort is a small vengeance against what you did”

“I did nothing!” Loki snarled, clenching his hands by his sides “I made that potion, yes, it was foolish and desperate, but I did. I didn’t use it. You want to know the truth, that is it. I made it but I didn’t use it, I wouldn’t bind myself to you”

“You would” Thor crossed his arms and levelled a glare at him “And you did, nothing changes that. All that is left is to decide your punishment”

“A lifetime with you is punishment enough, I assure you” Loki told him “You stupid, arrogant fool! You have no idea of what the truth is. If I wanted to bind us, I would have done it in ways you wouldn’t even know!”

“Is that right?” Thor taunted

“Yes,” Loki rasped “But you ruined my life because you didn’t know the truth. I didn’t cast this curse on myself, I didn’t cast it on us”

“But you made it” Thor told him “You confess to that”

“Yes, damn you!” Loki snapped “I made it because you were leaving! I panicked, you wouldn’t come back and just leave me there in that unbearable life! I ran to it, I made it with my own two hands, I watched it change colour to bind us, yes I did that!”

“That is all I need to know” Thor sighed “That you made it. I would have come back, Loki, I swore to you”

“No one swears the truth, Thor, least of all to me” Loki turned away from him “Forgive me for not believing that you would care enough to return”

“That is your fault, not mine” Thor frowned “You think I would have left, is that why you did it? If so, then let me tell you, Loki, if I didn’t want to be with you, I never would have started this. I would have refused to touch or kiss you. I would have gone back the moment I had my hammer, I never would have gotten involved. But I did and I was having a good time until you ruined it, Loki, all because of your imagined, non existent fears. Wake up, Loki! Wake up from whatever state you have deluded yourself into! You destroyed us both! You say you didn’t do this, what does that do? Nothing! What does that fix? Nothing!”

Thor’s arm began to tingle again, though it was nothing like it was before.

Loki glared at the floor, arms crossed, jaw inclined as Thor snapped at him.

“We would still be here” Thor told him “If you didn’t trust me enough to return and had to resort to this, then our problems run deeper than this bond”

“It’s not about trust” Loki sighed “It never was about trust. I did trust you, I just…”

“Panicked” Thor finished meanly “And look how much good that did for us. If you had talked, then this wouldn’t have happened to me.”

Thor shook his head “I’m going to take a bath and sleep. You do whatever you want, find a way to end this, if you can”

“I can’t”

“Then celebrate because now you never have to worry about me leaving” Thor closed the bathroom door loudly, a testament of his anger.

Loki gazed sullenly at the door, then reached up to undo his cape

“You’ve already left” he whispered softly.

They all left, every single one of them left him.

Thor was no different.

***

A night on the couch did wonders for giving Loki agony he’d never felt before.

He’d spent hard nights in his life, trying to sleep, but with last night’s drama and the whole affair, breaking over his head, then crashing into a thousand pieces, he wasn’t comfortable to begin with.

That and the fact that Thor had already placed his pillows on the couch for him gave him little choice.

Thor slept on the bed, Loki on the couch, just like a beloved dog.

In the morning, he woke before Thor and his head stayed light. A lack of sleep the past two nights were taking a toll and a nonstop buzz numbed his head.

He sat at the breakfast table alone, idly stirring his tea and yawning almost nonstop when the servants arrived to place another setting on the table.

Oh good, Loki thought, Thor was awake.

He watched them work, placing plates, utensils, sugar, milk, a tea post, toast, butter, eggs, bread rolls, cheese and delicious looking strips of pork. The aroma was fantastic and Loki felt his mouth water.

Olivier chuckled as he stood at the side, arms tied behind his back.  

He leaned over to whisper something to the man serving them and a few minutes later, Loki’s own breakfast arrived, much the same, except with more fruit.

It made Loki look between the tea and the breakfast, then nodding and thanking the servant who went to heat up his tea.

Loki was alerted of Thor’s presence by the way the servants all stood to attention, straightened their backs as they worked. Two served them in the morning and that were quick to do that, then disappear, so they had privacy.

Olivier stayed within sight, but far away not to hear them.

“Good morning” Loki whispered as Thor pulled his seat out.

Thor scoffed and looked at him, his maroon night robe and messed hair making him look slightly mad.

“What’s good about it?” he asked “I’m still trapped”

And that ended all conversation between them.

Thor reached over for a soft roll, parting it and buttering it up. He still looked half asleep and ate without really knowing what he’d ingested. Loki was actually tempted to switch something to see if Thor noticed or not.

But it didn’t seem like a good idea, mostly because Thor was in a mood and Loki didn’t want to receive his ire.

Loki exhaled when he was done and stood, turning to leave Thor be. He had clothes to wear, lovely, extravagant tunics and trousers of a material that Loki had never seen or felt before. There were so many of them and they all looked like clothes Loki had seen in fairy tale books in his younger days.

Flowy, soft, long, patterned.

It made him stand there and try to find what went with what and he’d placed what he thought would go well together when Thor walked in. he took one look at the clothes Loki had set out and sighed.

Muttering under his breath, he went and pulled out a suitable outfit and put the top of the one Loki chose back.

“What was wrong with that?” Loki asked

“They were patterned” Thor told him, closing his closet door “A patterned tunic and a patterned trouser never go well together. Don’t look ridiculous, you represent my family. They will already gawk at you, don’t give them any more reasons to mock”

“Of course, I wouldn’t want to taint the royal name, would I?” Loki sneered

“Not more than you have, no” Thor threw back, heading to the bathroom “I’m already sick of you!”

“So am I!” Loki called after him loudly.

Thor slammed the door shut after him and Loki growled, turning away.

But he wasn’t angry.

He wasn’t.

He was just so damn heart broken.

Loki lowered his head into his hand and his shoulders shook as he allowed himself a few miserable, dry sobs. He didn’t wail, but the gentle noises escaped his control before he could do anything about it.

He did it unaware that the door to the bathroom had opened just a sliver and Thor’s blue eyes were watching this.

He did nothing, however, pretending he was walking out twenty minutes later without seeing Loki.

Loki didn’t look at him and walked into the bathroom after him, not looking back at him.

Thor dressed in his casual clothes, deciding not to leave the room tonight. He wore a pair of soft red trousers, then a long sleeveless black tunic that was opened at the front.

They had no arrangements today, no feasts or dinners or meetings, nothing. That would wait till tomorrow, today was his to do as he pleased.

Thor was lounging on the dining table – aye, laying on the dining table, flat on his back, reading a book – when Loki walked out. He blinked at the ungraceful prince and was going to get some writing tools when he heard someone he never thought he would hear again.

A flat meow made him freeze and he turned, gasping when he saw Ruben stretch and emerge from under a chest of drawers. His big head cocked to the side, then he jogged to Loki, tail up in the air, meeting him halfway.

“Ruben” Loki smiled, sitting on his knees and pulling the cat to his chest “I missed you”

Ruben purred loudly as Loki kissed him over and over, then gave Thor a nasty glare as he began to watch them.

Thor narrowed his eyes and stuck his tongue out at him and Ruben meowed and turned his head into Loki’s neck. For now, he would let it pass.

The rest of the evening was spent with Ruben and Loki relaxed entirely, playing with his pet and talking to him.

Thor spent it sleeping or drinking and eating. It was a free day and that was all he felt like doing. He didn’t wish to go out or meet anyone, didn’t want to answer stupid questions nor did he want to meet his family.

They had already told him how stupid he thought he was and judged him for not killing Loki.

Thor told them he couldn’t, but the truth was that he wouldn’t. This bond, now united with their marriage vows kept him from many things, including seeking pleasure from others, but it didn’t keep him from killing Loki if he wanted.

There had been drastic cases that surfaced once he’d done his research and Thor knew that if he killed him, the bond would start to fade.

Obviously he wouldn’t do it himself, someone else would, but it was possible.

But he wouldn’t.

Not now, not years from now.

Loki might have destroyed Thor’s trust in him but something else, far more potent remained there, in his heart, healing it. He wasn’t as angry as he was before, he wasn’t as desperate. Now that the panic of being cursed had proved anticlimactic, Thor was calmer and thinking with a rational head.

He didn’t snap or yell at Loki like he wanted to, instead giving him the space he needed to play with his pet.

Ruben was the only one who got Loki’s attention anyway, so why would Thor even try to bother?

So he avoided Loki, spending his time reading his favourite series to see what Circe was up to, balancing grapes on each other when he bored himself to hunger and looked over the balcony, watching the city move beneath him, unaware of the truth of their prince’s marriage.

He’d just had supper alone and walked to his room, seeing Loki laying on his bed, the cat sleeping next to him.

He opened his mouth to tell him off but stopped when he saw Loki was fast asleep. His eyes were closed, face calm, hair spilled around him. The front of his tunic was opened at the collar, exposing his long neck and his chest moved slowly as he breathed.

Thor was disarmed by him. He didn’t look like someone capable of deception, he looked almost innocent.

Yet Thor knew better.

He’d learned the hard way but he knew better.

Sighing, Thor went to get what he wanted and walked back out.

He wouldn’t benefit from trying to mend things with Loki.

Not when Loki had been so damn eager to ruin them in the first place.

Not when he destroyed both their lives in a fit of jealousy.

Shaking his head and holding the book he wanted, Thor walked out and slowly closed the door behind him.

The gentle click sounded like a death knoll to Thor.

And he didn’t think it would ever change.

 


	19. Adoration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loss and grief hit him and once more he felt betrayal at Loki’s hands. The wind picked up in response to his mood and he slid under the covers, pulling them over his shoulder. 
> 
> He didn’t sleep instantly, his thoughts swirled in his head slowly lulling him into slumber and after a few minutes, his eyes closed softly and he too, fell asleep.

For the next four days of their marriage, Thor and Loki spoke little. They met only when they had to go to public outings and only once did Thor touch Loki during this.

They were making their first public appearance as a couple and stood on their carriage, waving to the people gathered around throwing flowers at them.  Loki had a forced smile on his face and startled when Thor took his hand within his own, showing off for them.

He’d looked to Thor’s face but the man hadn’t spared him a glance and Loki had once more, pasted a smile on his face so he could pretend his husband didn’t hate him.

After that, there were of course, the dinners that needed to be attended and as the royal couple, they were the Guests of Honour. They were given thick, soft chairs placed on the dais set in every home they visited. Loki had to endure hours upon hours of pampering to look like the perfect prize on Thor’s arm.

Tonight, they had gone to the Asgardian general’s home for a magnificent feast. There were tables upon tables of food, there was dancing and music, there was drink and over indulgence.

Thor, however, stayed aloof, talking to the general and his few acquaintances.

Loki noted that despite his popularity, Thor wasn’t one for socializing and kept to one or two people. He did smile and nod, but looked away if anyone was too eager to speak to him.

Loki, though he was clearly disliked, had more people around him the entire time than Thor. He even saw Amora and waved to her, finding a friend in her quickly enough.

Or desperately, whichever way one chose to see it.

Laufey and Farbauti were there, too, the two of them rarely apart. Loki spent time with them as well, but Thor stayed secluded and alone, seemingly happy.

They came back two hours past midnight and Loki was exhausted.

Thor had gone to bathe and change first so Loki had to wait. He played with Ruben, however, passing his boredom, then went in after his husband was done with his bath, happy to feel clean under the blessedly cold water. He stood there, enjoying the gentle relaxation and washed his hair before he walked back out.

He was dressed in soft, pale green clothes, made for him by the many, many people assigned to his comfort, and ran a hand through his hair.

And every bit of exhaustion that had left him returned with a vengeance when he saw his pillows and a sheet on the couch once again.

If Loki hadn’t been absolutely exhausted, both from the days passed and from sleeping on that damned couch, he wouldn’t have done what he did next.

He exhaled loudly, his body protesting by the fact that he looked at the damn couch, he gave his pride an almost unbearable blow.

“Thor, don’t make me sleep on the couch”

Thor, who was flipping through his books as he stood by his shelf, blinked and looked up. Loki was sure that had his voice not sounded so abruptly, Thor wouldn’t even have turned. It was surprise that made him actually acknowledge Loki because the past four days were just a long gap of silence between them both.

At his request, Thor raised a brow and looked at him, not saying a word.

Loki almost bristled, his insides burned with humiliation and chagrin but he was too damned _exhausted_ to actually listen. He just wanted a bed, just for one night.

“I’m tired” Loki almost – almost – whined “My back hurts on that, I haven’t slept properly in days. I know you are angry with me but just let me sleep on the bed for one night”

Then, to degrade himself even more, he added “Please…”

Thor’s lip tightened and he sighed, looking away. He exhaled and Loki felt disappointment churn in his gut, making him nearly sick.

He felt his eyes prickle and shame coloured his cheeks as he looked away, taking a step towards the bed.

“Just … keep to your side”

Loki looked at him, blinking a few times as he tried to get Thor’s words. But the man had gone back to his books once more, reading the backs of two so he could decide between them.

Loki, happy to finally have a good night’s sleep to look forward to, was quick to pick up the pillow and sheet, taking them to the bed and placing them far from Thor’s.

Once done, he went to the dresser and picked up his brush, running it through his hair.

“You should have told me that you can’t sleep” Thor rumbled from his spot “I placed those there because I assumed you wouldn’t be comfortable sleeping next to me”

Loki stilled and looked at Thor in the mirror “Oh … to be honest I wouldn’t have been, not that first night, but…I didn’t think I would be exiled there”

“Hm” Thor hummed, put his book back and came to play on the bed.

It was hot today and Loki already knew he would wake multiple times in the night, but just the thought of that bed, the comfort it offered, was too good to get him down.

He brushed out his hair and tied it up then walked to the bed, crawling over.

Thor, who was on his first page, raised a brow when Loki hummed, all but purring as he rubbed his face in the pillow and curled up, his rear up in the air in the most graceless position.

“You’ve been hanging around Ruben too long, you’re turning into a cat”

Loki hummed in joy “I don’t care right now. I will sleep as long as I can on this delightfully comfortable bed”

Thor’s lips curved into a smirk that Loki didn’t see because he had his eyes closed and was enjoying the bed. The prince went back to his reading, slowly getting himself used to the person moving around next to him.

Fifteen minutes into it, Thor snapped his book shut and sighed, looking at Loki, who was tossing and turning almost continuously.

“You know, one would think that being on a comfortable bed would make you sleepy, at least”

Loki huffed and turned to him, face flushed because of the heat “I’m Jotun and Asgard is burning hot. It will take a while”

Thor frowned and reached over and pulled the thin white drapes around his bed open, hiding them from view.

“Ooh, that helps” Loki drawled

Shaking his head, Thor closed his eyes and concentrated.

Gentle grey clouds formed outside their balcony and a few seconds after that, blessedly cool wind filled their room. The thin drapes shifted and kept them from leaves and any debris that came towards them.

Instantly, Loki closed his eyes again and smiled “Thank you”

“Don’t get used to it, I am not your personal cooling system” Thor told him

“Yes, you are” Loki hummed, lifting his face a little as more calming wind came over “You just don’t know it”

Thor snorted at him “You know, there is a spell to cool a room, you can use it if you wish. Grandmother knows it”

Loki hummed again, but softer, barely listening to him as he slowly started to relax.

Thor went back to his book but when he looked over a few minutes later, Loki was deep into his sleep, comfortable for the first time in four days. He let him be, continuing his reading for another hour before he too settled in for the night.

The wind had significantly chilled the room and Thor could easily stop it and spend the night comfortably.

But for some reason he didn’t. He looked at Loki who lay next to him, fast asleep, and sighed.

Loss and grief hit him and once more he felt betrayal at Loki’s hands. The wind picked up in response to his mood and he slid under the covers, pulling them over his shoulder.

He didn’t sleep instantly, his thoughts swirled in his head slowly lulling him into slumber and after a few minutes, his eyes closed softly and he too, fell asleep.

***

When morning settled over them, Thor and Loki slept on undisturbed for a while.

However, a while later, some time around ten, Loki began to feel muggy and smothered. He woke up uncomfortable and damned Asgard for being so warm.

The heat made it seem like he was being crushed under it and he groaned, raising a hand to brush back his hair from his damp forehead. Even breathing was terribly difficult and Loki fell on his back, another loud, miserable groan escaping his parched, dry lips.

He was burning and he pushed his sheets off, feeling clammy and sluggish. His head was throbbing, his face hurt and he couldn’t breathe!

Loki ran both his hands through his hair and whined softly, which stirred the man next to him.

“What?” Thor droned sleepily “Why are you whining?”

Loki coughed in response and Thor blinked his eyes open, getting used to the waking world, then levered himself on one elbow to look at the man sleeping behind him.

“Oh no…”

Thor scooted away, sitting up and looking at Loki properly.

His cheeks were flushed, he was sweating, pale and sickly. Thor reached over and placed a hand on his forehead, truly shocked at how hot it was.

“You’re burning up, gods damn it” Thor threw the sheets off him and all but flew out of bed.

He donned a thin dressing gown, ignored his shoes and fled out the door. Thankfully, Olivier was overlooking the dusting, immaculate as always in his greys and charcoals.

Thor, upon comparison looked like he was homeless man and it startled the poor valet.

“My lord, are you…?”

“Get me Eir” Thor cut in “Loki is ill, he’s burning up”

Olivier’s eyes widened just a fraction and he sent forth the two maids while heading to the small kitchenette himself.

Thor went back in and a knock sounded on the door two moment later. He saw Olivier standing there with a bowl of water and a compress.

“Put it on his forehead and cool him down, my lord” Olivier instructed “It will help until Eir comes over”

“Aye, thank you” Thor whispered, taking the supplies

He closed the door and went to crouch beside Loki, who seemed to have gotten worse.

“Hush, easy….” Thor whispered, brushing his hair back “It’s okay, Eir is on her way”

Thor dipped the compress into the water, smelling the faint medicinal herbs that were mixed in and made a mental note to award Olivier with something extra this month.

He squeezed out the access and placed it on Loki’s forehead, watching him hiss a little.

“This will fix you, alright?” Thor whispered gently “Just be patient a few moments, Eir will be here soon”

Loki still hadn’t opened his eyes and a trickle of worry went through Thor when he didn’t seem to be getting better. In fact, the longer time passed, the worse he seemed to get. His eyes had sunken in and Thor could hear a horrible wheezing noise every time Loki breathed.

He had set aside the bowl and was ready to get Eir himself when she arrived, Bestla with her.

“We’re here, we’re here, calm down” Bestla said

“What took you so long?” Thor growled “He’s sick and you take forever?”

“Oh hush, he will be fine” Bestla said, stopping beside Thor while Eir went to Loki “These things happen, calm down”

Loki groaned when Eir placed a hand on his head and took his temperature, giving him a quick look over to see if this was dangerous.

“The Queen is right” Eir smiled a little at Thor “Tis a flu and a fever. It will pass within a week”

“A week?” Thor echoed “He can’t be in this state for a week! Get him, healing stones, those fix everything!”

“Healing stones are for serious injuries, not health, my lord” Eir said “I will tell you the few powdered and dried herbs he needs to help him. That is all”

Thor was frustrated and for some reason it only made Bestla smile. He did his best to ignore her, but was thankful that she was there at the same time because she helped make a list of instructions for Thor to follow.

“I’ve been treating you boys whenever you had this, trust me, he will be alright” she said, still smiling.

There were three herbs that Thor had to rub over Loki’s chest and forehead and one herbal tea he had to make Loki drink.

“I suggest putting in honey and sugar” Bestla said as Eir carefully grinded the rubbing herbs into a paste “It tastes a little bitter”

Thor took a look at the list and furrowed his brow, reading it. He knew most of these just through experience and that helped him relax a little.

“Eir has given him the first dosage” she said “he will be better, but in about an hour, I suggest you give him something to eat, even if it’s a little”

Thor nodded, folding the list and holding it in his hand.

“I will, don’t worry”

He lingered over Eir as the woman gently massaged the balm into Loki’s forehead. He was awake, but only just, looking at him with swollen red eyes that made Thor’s heart clench.

“He looks terrible” he whispered

“I know, dear” Eir sighed “These things really are apt at making us look bad”

She continued to massage the balm onto his temples and Loki closed his eyes. Thor took a step closer and looked at her.

“May I?” Thor asked “I know how to do it”

Eir smiled “Of course, dear”

She moved off the bed and Thor took her place, gently dipping his finger in the balm and rubbing it against his thumb before he massaged Loki’s forehead and temples.

Behind him Bestla and Eir shared a knowing look as the healer wiped her hand clean. She headed to the door and Bestla walked over to kiss Thor on the head.

“I will cancel your appointments, aye?” she smiled, running a hand over his hair “And you can call me any time to help you”

Thor nodded and held her hand in his when she placed it on his shoulder. Gently, he kissed her knuckles.

“Thank you”

She smiled tenderly “Don’t thank me for this”

With one last kiss, she turned and headed out, ordering Olivier to make a broth for Loki to have in an hour. Olivier went to do it personally and in their rooms, Thor continued his work.

Loki was still far too hot and it worried him. His brow was furrowed, his gaze on his work and his mind worried.

So when, sensing a heavier hand on his forehead, Loki opened his eyes, Thor didn’t see.

They were still red and swollen but far more awake than before. A smirk curved his lips just a little and he licked his lips.

“You look like you lost a beloved pet, Thor”

His voice was a raspy sound in the room and Thor looked at him, staring for a few seconds.

“Oh” he whispered “I didn’t know you were awake”

His hand stilled and Loki groaned a little reaching up to hold Thor’s wrist in place.

“No, keep going” he asked “It’s making me better”

Thor nodded and continued, watching him carefully. Loki’s hand fell off his wrist and he sighed.

“Is this because of last night?” Thor asked softly “Because of the wind?”

“Possibly” Loki croaked “But I can’t seem to regret it. This bed is amazing”

Thor laughed softly “They usually are”

Silence fell between them as Loki enjoyed his treatment and Thor nibbled his lips, thinking.

“You know that never does anything good” Loki teased

Thor frowned, confused “What?”

“You’re making your thinking face, Thor” Loki said “Something heavy rests on your mind”

Thor looked away and hummed after a moment, trying to think of something to say. Beside him, Loki shut his eyes again and enjoyed the massage Thor gave him. He could have dropped off then and there had Thor not spoken and brought him to the land of the living.

“How do we fix this?” Thor asked softly

“Well,” Loki croaked “Eir said the herbs will do most of the job so you don’t have to worry about that and…”

“Not this, Loki” Thor looked a little irritated, but only a little “You know what I meant. You and me, how do we fix it?”

Loki sighed loudly, but didn’t speak immediately.

“We can’t live like this forever” Thor said “So … “

“So…” Loki repeated, looking ahead rather than at Thor “I don’t really know the specifics but I do know that it would require true apologies from my end and forgiveness from yours. Otherwise we are stuck in this silent, awkward and smothering rut”

Thor looked at him and nodded “Apologies and forgiveness”

“Aye” Loki looked at him, focusing his gaze on his chest rather than his face “Sincere ones, not ones given out of desperation”

“Agreed” Thor whispered

Loki sniffed and looked at his hands as he fidgeted with them.  He licked his dry lips before he managed to find enough strength to speak to Thor from the heart.

“I’m sorry I made the potion” he said, keeping his eyes on his fingers “I – It was stupid and reckless and I didn’t think of what could have happened. I didn’t think of how badly I could trap you”

Thor stilled his massage for a moment, looking at Loki’s face “Then why did you?”

Loki swallowed heavily “Because I was stupid and I saw you leaving me”

“And I meant that much?” Thor asked softly “That your fear drove you to this?”

Loki didn’t reply, not in that moment, his throat was tight suddenly, making it hard to speak. But when he could answer without breaking down, he nodded.

Thor’s expression softened and he pulled his hand back, wiping the balm on his fingers with the cloth placed there for Loki to dip in water and place on his head. He took his time and the tension inside Loki built higher and higher as he waited.

He had already told Thor his feelings and tonight was likely a confirmation of them.

He didn’t think he could handle rejection.

He was playing all sort of scenarios in his head when Thor’s hand came over gently to stroke his cheek, caressing it softly, then turning Loki’s head to look at him.

“Then” Thor whispered “I will forgive you, aye?”

Before his eyes, Loki’s began to shine and Thor shushed him, leaning down and kissing his cheek.

“No tears” he kissed his ear “Hush, Loki, it’s alright”

He felt Loki slowly raise his arms and put them behind his back, locking them tight. Thor’s own pulled Loki closer, cradling him against him once he sat back and Loki buried his face in Thor’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry” Loki said “I didn’t mean to do this, I’m _sorry_ ”

Thor held the back of his head and rocked them in their embrace.

“It will be alright” Thor told him “Things will be well. I trust this will not be the end of our fights”

“Only the beginning, yes?” Loki laughed sadly “Oh, what a wonderful thing to look forward to”

Thor laughed softly and kissed his shoulder “You must forgive me, too. I acted like a monster towards you, Loki. I acted like someone I didn’t even recognize and the blame is entirely upon my own shoulders. I shouldn’t have done so nor said the things I did”

“I know why you did” Loki replied “but thank you”

He pulled back and Thor held his chin between his thumb and finger, pulling him close.

His lips kissed Loki’s lightly, but it was enough to make Loki close his eyes and realize what he was missing. It was soft, gentle, sweet and when Loki pulled back, he was blushing, which made Thor smile.

“Someone’s feeling better” Thor teased “I should have done that before”

“Aye, but we were both pig headed and stupid” Loki said “So we didn’t”

“And cruel,” Thor added “Blind, foolish…”

“Yes, you were, but what was I?” Loki asked

Thor slit his gaze “If you weren’t sick, I would spank you for that”

“Really?” Loki’s eyes widened “Is that a promise?”

“Oy, you” Thor lightly smacked Loki’s cheek and pointed a finger at him “Rest first, deviant. We can do this later”

He let Loki lay down, then sighed, sitting back, giving him a soft smile. It reached his eyes this time and  Loki smiled back, watching him. He seemed to look better and Loki felt guilt bubble inside him.

“Thor, I …”

“Later” Thor gave his ankle a squeeze “When you are not deliriously sick”

“No, I’m not deliriously sick…” Loki protested

“And sprouting words that you will never stop regretting…” Thor went on

Loki slapped his thigh “No, I am trying to apologize, Thor…”

“I said…” Thor smiled “Later, alright?”

He reached over to cup his cheek, running his thumb over his temple. The gesture soothed Loki and he turned his head to Thor’s palm.

“Focus on getting better right now” Thor told him “We can talk about his later”

“As you wish” Loki said, holding Thor’s arm to him.

His heart felt lighter and his body was suddenly released of the tension it had been in for so long.

Loki felt free.

***

Soft murmuring woke him later and a droning sound that thrummed within his skull, he was so uncomfortable.

His eyes felt heavy, his limbs felt heavy and he wanted Thor to turn that damn droning off.

“Thor…” he groaned, slowly opening his eyes “Thor…”

A door shut somewhere and Loki tried turning in his side, tried to look at Thor as the man approached. His footsteps were heavy and Loki felt easier knowing he was there.

A hand rested on his cheek, the bed dipped beside him and he opened his eyes.

“What is that sound?” Loki opened his eyes

He froze a moment later, his eyes widened when he saw Taneleer smiling down at him instead of Thor. He gasped and recoiled but his hand went to Loki’s hair, holding it in a firm grip, pulling him closer.

“No!” Loki screamed, pushing at him, kicking and struggling “No, let go of me!”

Taneleer laughed “There, there, child, calm down…”

He moved and climbed over Loki and that was when he showed him something he held in his hand.

He saw blood first, plastered all over Taneleer’s wrist, dripping down his hand. Then he saw the blonde locks, thick with coagulated blood, falling on the floor with thick, sick plopping noises. Loki was held in place and horror, true horror descended on him when he saw what he held.

Thor’s head, cut at the neck, bits of flesh hung from where it was chopped off without mercy. His blue eyes were lifeless, staring at nothing, his skin grey.

Loki screamed.

He bucked and screamed, struggling in the grip of this monster as he brought the head closer, rubbing blood over Loki’s face, his hair…

“Yes, scream for him, darling!” Taneleer laughed “Scream!”

Loki did, he screamed and struggled, sobbing as Taneleer loomed over him, holding Thor’s head, painting him with blood…

“Thor!” Loki hollered “Thor!!”

“ _Loki_!”

He heard his voice but something wrapped around him and Loki realized it was blood, Thor’s blood turning into thick tendrils, wrapping around him, tightening so he couldn’t breathe.

He arched his neck and screamed, bucking his body, scratching at it.

“ _Loki_!”

Something grabbed him and he fought, looking up to see Taneleer’s face, smiling at him, transforming into Svadilfari, sneering at him.

Loki sobbed, he screamed and sobbed and…

“Loki!”

He gasped, his eyes flying open as everything vanished. He was shaking, he was trembling so badly and he had gone cold. Thor’s worried face was above him, looking at him as though _Thor_ was terrified.

Alive!

Thor was alive!

Loki’s face was wet with tears and he looked at Thor, horror etched on his features.

“Good gods” Thor whispered, pulling him closer and into his arms “Loki, are you alright?”

Loki let out a half sob half cough and a low, heartbroken whine escaped him. His hands clenched into Thor’s tunic and he shut his eyes.

Nightmare

It was all a nightmare.

“Oh, darling…” Thor sat on the bed properly, pulling Thor closer “It’s alright, you’re alright”

He rubbed Loki’s back and rocked them a little, shushing him, calming him.

“You’re alright” Thor kissed his head “Do you want water?”

Loki’s arms wrapped around his neck, his nails dug into Thor’s back, tears spilled from his eyes and he shook his head.

“No, don’t leave” Loki held on tighter “Don’t go”

“Alright, alright, I’m right here, I won’t leave” Thor consoled him “I won’t go, I promise”

Loki sniffed and held him for a long time. He was still shaking and Thor’s strong hand rubbed circles on his back to soothe him. His eyes were far too wide, his skin was pale and he was tired, but for the life of him, he couldn’t go back to sleep. Not when he knew what was waiting for him.

He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, he could feel the terror that still latched on to him.

A soft, gentle knock sounded on the door and Thor looked to see Olivier open the door just a little, his gaze on the floor.

“Is everything alright, my prince?” Olivier asked

“Aye, could you get us some water?” Thor asked “And tea for Loki?”

“Of course, sir”

Olivier ducked back out and Thor went back to consoling Loki.

“You want to talk about it?” Thor asked after Loki’s trembling stopped “It might help”

Loki shook his head “No, I just want to forget it”

“How can I help?” Thor asked

Loki wanted to answer it, he really did but he didn’t know how Thor could help. This was in his mind, he was going insane or something.

“I don’t know” Loki said

Thor hummed lightly, then moved, prompting Loki to latch on again.

Thor chuckled “Loki, dear, you have to let me stand, I won’t let you go, I swear”

Loki loosened his grip and allowed Thor to pick him up, his large hands under Loki’s thighs, his legs wrapped around his waist. It looked ridiculous as Thor carried Loki off the bed and to his softest couch, sitting with Loki in his lap so Thor could look up at him.

He gave him a smile, reached over to brush Loki’s hair off his forehead.

“You look better” Thor complimented “Do you think you can stomach some broth?”

Loki nodded “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to panic”

“Panic?” Thor asked “Darling, you … you were terrified, I’ve only ever seen your face express that once so I don’t need to ask what the nightmare was about.”

Loki looked down and Thor immediately made him look back up.

“Don’t do that” Thor hooked a finger under his chin “It’s not your fault”

“It feels like it” Loki said, playing with the sleeve of Thor’s tunic “You wouldn’t have such nightmares”

“I agree,” Thor said “Mine are different but no less frightening. I have woken like this many times, Loki. There is no shame in it”

Loki sighed sadly and Thor stroked his cheek

“Tell me about it?”

It was hard, he didn’t want to remember it much less recall it, but he took a deep breath and agreed.

“Taneleer was in there” Loki whispered “He held me down on the bed, he had …”

He closed his eyes and pulled his lips inwards, his hands clenched around Thor’s sleeve.

“He had your head in his hand…”

“Oh, Loki…” Thor sighed, pulling him close again “It was a dream”

“It felt real, alright?” Loki defended “I didn’t know what was happening, I couldn’t get out”

“I’m not saying it didn’t feel real” Thor said “I’m saying it’s alright to be afraid of them”

“I’m not afraid” Loki said immediately “It just…it just destroyed me”

“Because he was there?”

“No” Loki said softly “Because I thought you dead”

That gave Thor pause and Loki sniffed, pretending it was because of his flu and fever.

“I thought you were dead”

Thor said nothing, he rested his head against Loki and held him, rubbing his back and soothing him as best he could.

Loki, for his part, did his best to calm down, grounding himself slowly, reminding himself that Thor was here, alive, not dead.

He kept telling himself that it was a nightmare, nothing else. He was fine, Thor was fine, it would be alright.

Thor stayed with him, softly cooing at him and making sure that Loki knew he was there and wouldn’t get affected by his dream.

He would have sat there longer, but Loki’s chest started to vibrate whenever he breathed as his breathing turned raspy.

“I think you should lay down, Loki” Thor said, holding him tighter

Loki hummed and allowed himself to be taken to bed and laid down, the covers pulled up. He was burning up again and Thor started to worry.

Olivier came back with the water and broth and Thor sat on the floor, cross legged, next to Loki.

“Alright,” he said, putting a little cheer in his voice “Let’s try and have this, hmm?”

Loki groaned but allowed Thor to treat him.

He could only stomach so much broth, what with the sickness and that night terror he’d endured, his appetite was lacking severely. But he had enough to please Thor and later Eir when she came to check up on him.

Frigga came too, though not for long. Odin was taking her on a tour of some sort and she was eager to go. Loki thought it was lovely and Thor tried not to cringe at the thought of his Father courting.

Loki found it hilarious and once Thor sat next to him and picked up the balm, he brought it up.

“You should conceal your shudders better, Thor” he teased as Thor massaged his forehead “Your shock at your father finding someone was very clear”

“Not shock, I always knew he would find someone” Thor chuckled “Just the mere thought. He’s my father, I can’t … imagine him as anything other than a parent and a king”

“Oh, I see” Loki drawled “He cannot do normal things like kiss or hold hands…”

Thor growled and wiped the balm down Loki,s face, making him squawk.

“Thor, no, you idiot!” Loki snarled, wiping it off “What did you do that for?”

“Tis a balm” Thor soothed “It’s supposed to help you”

Loki slit his eyes and Thor couldn’t help but laugh at him.

He looked absolutely adorable and Thor knew he would remember this forever.

***

 The week of misery for Loki was a week of patience for Thor.

The man cared for him, catered to his needs and he proved himself well and truly capable of living up to his marriage vows.

Eir barely had to do anything, Thor was doing everything she had instructed even before Loki asked. He was fed, given his medicine, massaged, soothed, calmed, reasoned with…

It was wonderful and slowly, the cracks in Loki’s spirit, left by years of loneliness, began to seem less important.

He was allowed out of bed the third day after he got his flu but Thor had insisted he rest till his fever broke. Once it did, Loki got better and better, lost the gaunt look he had and appeared happier than he had before.

Tonight, they had opted for a family dinner and took a detour on their way to the royal dining chambers. Thor wanted to take the longer route and took Loki through the hallways decorated with all the paintings of past and current rulers.

It was dark, darker than the rest of the palace because no one came here other than the public and that was allowed at day time.

There were no guards and both Thor and Loki had privacy as they walked and talked, their voices rising high and hitting the ceiling that was so high it echoed them back in a soothing hum.

“So this portion is open to the public?” Loki asked

They were walking side by side, their hands clasped loosely, both of them looking to their sides of the hallway.

Thor hummed in affirmation “The only personal part of the palace. They often try to meet one of us, then get excited when it actually happens”

Loki laughed softly

They were in their casual clothes, Thor had no cape and Loki wore a fashionable tunic, fitting him very well. Thor’s was a dull grey and loose, possibly something worn over the time Thor had been wearing it, but it looked good on him.

The half sleeves showed off his arms very well so Loki was taken by this tunic.

“Please tell me you spy on them from time to time just to excite the poor public” Loki tugged on his hand

“Sometimes” Thor smirked “I have to keep it rare enough so I keep my novelty”

“Ah, I understand, very noble thinking, Thor”

“Are you mocking me?” Thor looked at him

Loki grinned “Wouldn’t dream of it. Now tell me about the Royals”

Thor growled softly but let it slide, taking Loki to the very beginning. He knew the names of all Kings, Queens, Princes and Princesses and it impressed Loki, it really did.

When they got to Odin and Bor, it stopped, there were no paintings of Thor or Balder, but one of Gaya’s remained.

Loki stopped before it when Thor did and looked at her.

Thor looked up at her, from her beautiful face down to where her feet were hidden by the stunning dress she wore. It tugged at his heart and even Loki felt a heavy sadness settle on his shoulders.

“She was beautiful, Thor” Loki whispered “I had always heard of her beauty, now I see it didn’t even come close”

“She was more than that” Thor answered “She was kindness itself. She was perfect, Loki, just … perfect”

His own mother came to mind and with it a letter she had sent when she learned he was ill.

Loki hadn’t opened it yet.

His green gaze went to Odin next and he blinked.

“Gods above” he smiled “You look just like your father”

Thor looked at Odin’s painting and smirked “Aye, many people say that. Had I inherited his colouring, perhaps I would have been him”

“Noble notion but it would have made things difficult for you and I” Loki teased

Thor laughed, grinning as he shook his head “Ass”

He tugged Loki back the way they came.

“Already?” Loki protested “I haven’t seen yours yet”

“These are the Great Royals, Loki” Thor chuckled “Present and past …”

“Of course” Loki smacked his forehead in mocking “I forgot, they are the Greats. Now it makes sense that yours isn’t here”

“Hey”

Loki grinned when Thor turned and pushed him against the wall, looking into his eyes. His hand grabbed Loki’s jaw as he tried to make his glare intimidating.

“Are you making fun of me?” Thor growled

Loki had his tongue between his teeth as he smiled and Thor narrowed his eyes at him.

“You’re a pest”

“Am I?” Loki lifted his chin “What will you do about it?”

Thor smirked and gently rubbed Loki’s lower lip before he bent his head and kissed him.

Loki’s eyes closed and his arms came around Thor’s shoulders, moaning softly into his mouth. Thor’s lips were warm and soft, rubbing against Loki’s then kissing him proper.

Loki’s hands pulled at his tunic and he gasped when Thor started to nibble down his neck. The Jotun hissed, biting his lip as Thor lavished his neck with loud, open mouthed kisses as he gasped, growled and groaned.

“Thor…” Loki whispered “Dinner…”

“Never mind” Thor pulled his collar down and mouthed against his skin, “Stop talking”

He grinded against Loki and the younger man keened softly, pressed between the wall and Thor. He was hard and ran his fingers through Thor’s hair as he kissed him. Thor’s finger pushed his collar off his shoulder and Loki whimpered softly when Thor bit into it, hard enough to mark. His large hands travelled down Loki’s back and squeezed his rear.

Loki’s face was flushed, his eyes were closed and he began to rut against Thor’s thigh when it slid between his legs.

“Please…” Loki panted “Thor, please…”

Thor pulled him closer, pulled him away from the wall and planted his knee solidly beneath Loki, making him sit astride it.

“Oh…!” Loki gasped, tipping his head back so Thor could nibble at his jaw “Thor, n-not here, please…back in our – our rooms”

Thor’s skin was heated beneath his palms when he touched him and it made Loki shudder. It seemed the man didn’t hear him but Thor ran his lips from Loki’s jaw to his cheek so he could whisper in his ear.

“Then get moving” he growled, his voice dripping with lust.

Thrilled and trembling, Loki nodded and slid off him, the two of them barely stopping to tell a servant that they would not be attending, then rushed to their room.

The moment they were inside, Loki was pressed against the door and Thor’s hands were undoing his clothing. They were hot, eager and highly aroused.

Loki fell on his back on the bed, bouncing once before Thor was climbing on him, his lips searing a path up his neck, Loki’s hands raking down his back.

Thor enjoyed kissing Loki’s neck, he loved the scent, the taste and he took his time savouring it before he went lower, lower…

Loki’s neck arched back when Thor nibbled on the inside of his thigh, placing his knee on his large shoulder.

“Thor…” he whimpered, pulling at the sheets.

They went taut between his fingers and Loki gasped, his eyes closing as Thor’s tongue slid over the most intimate part of him. His body shuddered and Thor growled in approval.

“You’re so wet” Thor complimented, his voice a lusty growl

Loki keened softly, the sound barely there, but Thor heard it and smiled. He teased Loki with his fingers, making him whimper before he ducked his head and put his mouth to good use.

“Ah!” Loki gasped, his back arching when Thor sucked “Thor!”

It was music to Thor’s ears and he kept Loki’s legs spread, bobbing his head as he pleased him, felt Loki’s fingers pull at his hair a moment after.

“Thor …nnh…” Loki tossed his head to the side, biting his lip “Thor…”

Thor was generous and Loki was a panting mess not too far into this. his gasps and pants were shrill, filling the room as Thor pleasured him with his mouth, kept him where he wanted.

“No, Thor…” Loki begged “Don’t slow down, please…”

Thor laughed, gave Loki a long lick then began to mouth at the space beneath his navel. Loki wrapped his legs around Thor and tried pulling him up but Thor didn’t move. He kissed and nibbled over Loki’s belly, biting down on his ribs, licked his chest and touched him slowly, gently, caressing every single part of him until he heard Loki’s soft tell tale gasp and felt the hot burst against his own body.

He smiled and levered himself over Loki, looking into his eyes. His face was flushed, his eyes half closed and his lips swollen. His hair spilled around him and Thor ran his fingers through them, smiling.

“Do you want to stop?” he asked, his voice husky.

Loki shook his head “We’re married, you don’t ever have to stop now”

At that, Thor smiled and lowered his head to kiss Loki proper, taking in his soft sounds.

Beautiful.

Simply beautiful

***

It didn’t take Thor long to get Loki to the same blissed state.

He was panting and gasping, hissing and whimpering for more when Thor was ready. His body thrummed with energy and seeing Loki the way he was made everything that much more delicious.

He lay against the pillows, bare as the day he was born, his arm thrown over his eyes as his chest heaved up and down with every pant. He was glistening with perspiration, he was trembling with pleasure and clenched down on Thor’s fingers as his body got used to the invasion. It was better now than before, his fingers went inside Loki easily now and Thor had been very careful.

It was the gentlest thing Loki had experienced and he couldn’t help but be grateful for Thor.

He doubted Angrboda would have been like this.

Thor’s fingers kept rubbing against a spot inside him and Loki’s thighs were damp because of the effect that gesture had on him. His back arched when Thor curled his fingers and he sobbed, pulling at the sheets, biting the pillow case when he turned his head.

It was beautiful and Thor was ready to have it.

When he slowly pulled his fingers out, Loki looked at him, a sense of nervousness coming over him when Thor levered himself above.

Thor’s hair fell over, his eyes were focused on Loki’s face and the younger man swallowed nervously.

“Breathe deeply” Thor whispered “Scratch me when you feel the need to, aye?”

Loki swallowed heavily and nodded, absolutely at Thor’s mercy now.

It seemed like time had stopped, that Loki’s throat would remain as tight as it was now, that they would be stuck in this moment forever.

But then Thor balanced himself and reached down between them, just to guide himself. He had moved closer, spreading Loki’s thighs on either side of him wider.

“Remember” he said softly “Breathe”

Loki trembled, not from pleasure this time and closed his eyes when something thick and hard prodded his slickened channel.

Thor’s body moved forward, his hand came to set beside Loki’s head and he pushed in.

The pain took over then and Loki gasped, squeezed his eyes shut. His hands clenched into fists by his sides. It wasn’t unbearable but it stung and it hurt, making him turn his head into the pillows.

His eyes prickled with tears and he fought not to make a sound.

“I’m sorry” Thor whispered, “I’m sorry…”

But he didn’t stop and Loki was grateful because he didn’t know if he could bear that. Thor shifted further into him and Loki’s breath caught in his throat. He was fully within Loki now, his entire body trembling as he waited for Loki to get used to it.

“I’m sorry” Thor panted, reaching over to wipe the tears off Loki’s cheek “I’m so sorry”

Loki kept his head averted, he was panting rapidly and if he’d sobbed, then Thor made no comment. The man kissed his neck, pat his hair, tried everything he could to soothe Loki.

But the pain lingered with every shuddering breath Loki took. It had stretched him and Loki had never done anything like it so it burned, just a little. Of course it was fading but he feared it would increase when Thor moved.

Not that the man was, he was kissing Loki and cooing at him so he would at least look at Thor.

His eyes were still wet with tears when Loki did look and Thor wiped them away, cupping his flushed cheek.

“Are you alright?” he whispered

Loki sniffed and nodded “Aye”

His voice was a whisper and Thor kissed his forehead, stroked his cheek and then kissed his lips.

“Tell me when I can move, alright?”

Loki swallowed heavily again, then nodded “Just give me a moment”

Thor smiled at him, fondness and gentleness in his features.

Loki smiled back and eventually, Thor laced their fingers together on the mattress, kissing Loki softly, tenderly.

Thor was still trembling with the power it took to stay still and Loki lay back, taking a deep breath.

“You may continue”

Thor smirked “Regal words, Loki”

He kissed his cheek and then buried his lips into Loki’s neck as he moved.

Loki gasped, the burn was still there because he was stretched so and his eyes still prickled but it was fading. Thor gave shallow thrusts so Loki could get used to it, so the pain would recede and eventually it did, the discomfort replaced by the hints of pleasure Loki felt before.

Thor didn’t stop kissing him as he continued, moving slowly, listening to Loki’s wet pants against his ear.

He felt Loki’s nails on his back, raking his marks into his skin, over his tattoos. They were far grander then the ink and Thor groaned heavily in Loki’s ear.

The sound aroused Loki again and he moved with Thor, just a little.

“Faster” Loki panted “Please”

“So polite” Thor breathed

He sped up and Loki cried out, moaning and closing his eyes as Thor rubbed all the right spots inside him. It felt stunning, energy went through him over and over, his body needed it.

He was tense and he hooked one leg around Thor’s hips, pulling him closer.

“Yes…” Loki whispered

Thor’s movements became less rocky and he became more fluid, more confident as he kissed Loki’s neck over and over. He thrust into him, deeper, faster, when Loki commanded.

Loki bit back moans of pleasure, his hands caressing Thor, snaking down his strong muscled back and digging his nails into his firm bottom.

Thor bit his ear softly and groaned, approving of it and Loki did it again.

Loki’s mouth fell open when Thor slammed into him, the bed hitting the wall behind them and he sobbed in pleasure, forgetting himself and letting out a long, loud moan.

And it fell on Thor with the might of his hammer.

His speed increased and he moved harder, pushing cries out of Loki, listening to him moan with every hard thrust he gave.

No longer was Loki quiet in bed, he matched Thor.

It felt so good Loki’s back went taut, his nails drew blood from Thor and he let out another delicious sound that spurred Thor on.

“Norns…!” Loki sobbed, he _sobbed_ “ _Norns_!”

“Say my name” Thor commanded, panting as he exerted himself “Call me”

“Thor!” Loki whined, “Please…!”

Ah, the begging was beautiful and Thor obeyed, pushing hard into Loki, hearing every cry he gave, every moan that was pulled from him.

Loki was over heated, he was flushed, he was panting and Thor pounded him into the bed, getting everything he wanted from him.

Loki’s pleasure was Thor’s pleasure and the Jotun begged him for release, he needed it, he had to.

Thor went on, pushing in and out of Loki’s pliant body, his hands touching everywhere he wanted, his mouth branding Loki.

They rested, just for a moment on another brand on Loki’s body, but Thor moved over, not wanting Loki to notice.

His teeth bit him, his mouth marked him, his hands kept him in place.

And oh, gods above, how Loki loved it.

He keened and cried, he clung to Thor, he kissed him, he begged and moved with him, he scratched and bit him, he tried returning everything Thor did to him but he knew.

Tonight was about him, tonight, Thor gave him pleasure.

His entire body was painted in pleasure now and Loki sobbed when Thor kept going, when he felt his release build up inside him.

“I’m close” Loki panted, scratching Thor’s arms “I’m close!”

Thor nuzzled his jaw and nipped it

“Go on” he whispered “Do it, I’m right here”

His own voice was breathy and it felt amazing to Loki, felt stunning.

Thor pounded into him a few more times, rocking Loki’s body on the bed, slamming the headboard against the wall before he felt it.

Loki choked on a shout of pleasure, his back arched and his world went white.

Thor was still moving and Loki held him as he came a few moment after, biting hard on Loki’s shoulder before he fell atop him.

They were both panting, Loki’s arms were around Thor, his eyes shut as he caught his breath.

For a few long minutes, neither of them spoke, then Thor took a deep breath and slowly pulled out. Loki winced and hissed, but said nothing, choosing to be pulled into Thor’s embrace.

“You …” Thor panted “Are _very_ good at that”

Loki grinned, laughing softly “Well, I learned from a great teacher”

Thor chuckled and stroked his cheek, looking down at him “Are you alright?”

“Hm?” Loki smiled “I think I will be. I would prefer not to walk too much tomorrow, however”

Thor growled in joy and nuzzled his throat, making Loki snicker.

“Then I feel proud” Thor said

He couldn’t seem to stop grinning nor could he stop kissing Loki. Not that the Jotun minded, he liked the attention and the happiness on Thor’s face.

He really did.

***

Next morning, Loki was on cloud nine.

Thor woke him with gentle kisses, his beard leaving tickles in its wake as Thor nuzzled his shoulders, kissed the nape of his neck.

Loki loved this way of waking up and pretended he was asleep just to get more of them. Thor was on to him, of course, because a sleeping man didn’t smile the way Loki was or hum in pleasure.

They stayed asleep, which Loki wasn’t.

Thor chuckled and pulled him on his back so he could kiss him on the mouth.

“Wake up, deviant” he gave his cheek a pat “Don’t try to fool me”

Loki grinned, then laughed when Thor prodded his side. “Alright! I am awake!”

He curled up and Thor was quick to start nipping and biting his shoulders again as he lay behind him. His large hand rubbed Loki’s arm and he enjoyed this closeness, it felt so calm.

“How are you feeling?”

Loki groaned and stretched, cracking his toes, which Thor winced at “Sore, but it’s not life threatening”

“Are you sure?” Thor asked, kissing down his back “I could make certain”

“Oh, no” Loki moved away “I know what you are thinking, Thor, no”

Thor laughed, letting Loki sit up and go, but unable to resist holding his hand and kissing it. Then he lay and watched as Loki stood, all grace and fluidity, stark naked.

Oh, how the light fell over him, touching his pale skin, showing the gentle lines that marked Loki. It was his heritage and Thor rarely saw them. They were so light he could only feel them when he moved his lips or fingers over Loki.

He couldn’t see them properly and it just added to the magic that was Loki.

When he walked, Thor studied every muscle, every bone that made Loki and realized he would worship him forever. He couldn’t take his eyes off him.

Clearly, Loki knew, because just before he entered the bathing room, he turned and gave Thor a smouldering look over his shoulder.

Thor had a dreamy look over his face, put a hand on his heart and fell on his back, a grin plastered on him.

Loki snickered as he went to bathe, enjoying the cool water on his bare skin. He had his head tipped back, his eyes were closed when he felt those strong, beautiful hands at his hip and that sinful mouth set on his shoulder.

“Have you not been sated?” Loki asked as Thor pressed up behind him.

“With you?” Thor chuckled “Never, I doubt I can now that I have tasted you”

Loki shifted further into the water and the two of them got drenched. Not that Thor even noticed, he was busy biting marks into Loki’s neck and shoulders.

“You’re making it hard for me to bathe, dear” Loki cooed.

Thor turned him around and kissed him, moaning softly as Loki’s hands went to squeeze his bottom.

“You seem to like that part of me” Thor nibbled on Loki’s lip “Are you as perverted as I am?”

“Perhaps” Loki let Thor kiss him, feeling his hand push into his hair to turn his head the way he wanted “Perhaps it’s your fault for having that perfect thing on you”

He gave it another squeeze and Thor laughed.

“You’re going to drain Asgard’s water if you keep doing that”

“So?” Loki kissed his neck, licking the border of his tattoo “We live by a huge water source, we will be fine”

Thor laughed and indulged, letting Loki do what he wanted.

It ended up with them getting far dirtier rather than clean before they could seriously bathe. And after that, of course, Thor picked Loki up to toss him back in bed where they wrestled for dominance in between deep, passionate kissing.

Thor pinned Loki down, his wrists beside his head and kissed him hard while Loki pretended to fight. When Thor got used to his struggles, he used magic to flip Thor on his back and sat astride him, smiling at his stunned face.

“What…?”

Loki waggled his brows and smiled, taking Thor’s wrists and placing them down on the bed before he lowered his head to kiss his neck.

“You used magic” Thor growled “That’s terrible”

“Oh, because your brute strength is fair” Loki rumbled against his skin

He yelped a moment later when Thor smacked his rear and lifted his head to gape at Thor.

“You hit me”

“You bit me” Thor grinned, his hand hovering over Loki “Tis only fair”

Loki inclined his jaw to the side and glared “Do not”

Thor smiled wider and tightened his hand

“Thor,” Loki warned “Do not smack me again”

There was mischief in his eyes, there was daring in his voice and he looked anything but intimidating as he sat astride Thor in a lovely bathrobe.

Thor was no different, hair a mess, skin pink and blushing, his own robe making him look anything but princely, so his hand and gesture remained.

And, just because he was feeling extremely suicidal, Thor didn’t listen.

Outside, Olivier was setting down their respective breakfasts and a silver platter for Sir Ruben, as he was officially knighted by Thor last night, on the floor. There was a mat placed beneath the platter, then a silver saucer on top, filled with the thickest cream they could find.

The ugly cat was purring, stuffing his oh so elegant face into the cream as he had his breakfast.

A loud smack made his ears perk up, then the doors to Thor’s chambers burst open.

Thor was laughing as he ran out, hair a mess, flying as he fled from Loki, who had a spell in his hand.

“Get back here!” Loki grinned, chasing him.

Olivier was unmoved, carefully setting down their utensils as the two of them circled the table twice, then Thor made his escape to the sitting area, going to hide behind a very expensive, very tall vase.

“You cannot get me if you can’t aim at me” Thor mocked, popping out from left and right “You can’t get me”

Loki had his hand raised over his head, biting his lip and he grinned, ready to hurl the spell at him.

Thor toyed with Loki for a few more seconds, then dashed out from behind the vase, going back to Olivier. Loki was on his tail in a second, laughing.

“No hostages!” he ordered “That’s against the rules!”

“What rules?” Thor chuckled, hidden behind Olivier as the man worked “There are none”

“Oh?” Loki smiled, his eyes going to Olivier.

The valet looked at him from the corner of his eye and smiled, just a little.

Loki got ready to fire and Olivier ducked quickly falling into a crouch, leaving behind a stunned Thor, who Loki immediately hurled the curse at.

Thor yowled, falling hard on his back, stunned when he saw tiny versions of himself circling over his head, dancing.

Loki was doubled over, guffawing, hair falling over as he cackled. Olivier gracefully straightened, brushing his clothes down and continuing his work as though nothing happened.

“Your face!” Loki laughed “You should have seen your face!”

Thor groaned and sat up, waving at the dancing Thors until they vanished.

“Was that your spell?” Thor asked “Tiny copies of me?”

Loki beamed and came over to straddle his lap “Aye. Why? Do you think they are unimpressive?”

“Oh, yes, that exactly it” Thor snickered sarcastically “You got it”

Loki smiled and Thor reached over to stroke his jaw.

There was adoration and affection openly settled in Thor’s expression and it made Loki’s face heat up and turn red.

“Loki?”

“Hmm?” Loki cocked his head to the side

Thor smiled “Your robe fell open”

Loki gasped and looked down, yelping and pulling it shut as he glared.

“Pervert!”

He shoved Thor and stood, letting his husband laugh behind him as he stormed to their bedchambers.

Loki growled something in his own tongue and it only made Thor laugh harder.

“I know what that means!” he called after him.

He got to his feet, pat Olivier on the back and followed Loki.

The valet heaved a long suffering sigh, but he couldn’t really hide his smile as he heard them both inside.

Ruben meowed at him, licking his lips and Olivier glowered.

“Enough for you” he said “You’re fat enough as it is”

Another flat meow answered him and he went back to work, eager to finish up.

***

Thor was reading, the light beside him was dim and low, his attention was on his pages.

Loki lay draped across the bed, his head in Thor’s lap, fast asleep. He’d dozed off while Thor read to him and ran his fingers through his hair. His own pale hand had been playing with a wrinkle in their sheets.

They had spent the day much like this morning, neither of them willing to leave the room. Tomorrow, Loki was to spend the day with Odin, while Thor was going to guide a visiting delegation from Vanahiem.

Thor dreaded tomorrow, he didn’t want Loki to spend time with his father only because Odin was so mistrusting of his husband.

Thor might have forgiven Loki, but Odin was far from it.

He was worried the king might offend or hurt Loki somehow and Thor hated the feeling.

He’d talked to Odin beforehand and told him not to say anything but he didn’t know if it would change anything.

He hoped it would.

Thor turned his page and continued reading when he heard a soft whimper, then felt Loki twitch. He lowered his book and saw Loki’s brow furrowed, his eyes squeezed shut and his body tremble.

His hands clenched the sheets and he kicked, thrashing his head

“No….!” Loki gasped “No!”

Thor put the book aside and pulled Loki up.

“Loki,” he pat his cheek as Loki bucked and kicked, pushing at him “Loki, wake up. Loki!”

He gave him a shake and Loki gasped, his eyes opening wide – far too wide.

His face was pale and he looked at Thor for a few seconds before he all but threw himself into his arms.

Thor’s own arms went around him and Loki curled against him, trying to be small.

His body shook once more and Thor shushed him, rubbing his back.

“It’s alright” he cooed “It’s alright, Loki…”

Loki’s gentle, heart breaking noises filled the air and it hurt Thor.

It hurt that he was in pain, it hurt that he was forcing down his cries so Thor wouldn’t hear. Thor stroked his head, making him feel as protected as he could from something that he couldn’t even fight.

It was a war Thor was seeing himself lose so it brought him pain.

But, unbeknownst to him, it gave another pleasure.

His hands slowly lowered and he watched in his scrying bowl, the torment he could inflict on Loki.

The boy was terrified, he was crying against Thor and oh, how that just gave him chills. Beside him, the man he’d sent to make this happen watched as The Collector giggled and cackled.

He saw him construct another dream, saw him cut his own hand and let a few drops of his twisted blood fall into the mixture, then construct another nightmare for Loki.

The man was twisted and with their bond there was no way for Loki to escape, Taneleer had made sure of that.

His arm held the mark just like Loki’s and he squealed in delight when Thor kissed Loki’s tears away and he saw it.

“Very well, then” he purred, casting a spell to produce another horribly graphic dream for Loki “Enjoy his kisses while you can, Loki, they won’t last long for you”

Another high pitched giggle filled the room and his guard went back to focusing on the floor as they stayed in their Svartalfhiem manor, dark and desolate, just like Loki’s future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do let me know what you think GUYS. Been having a rough two weeks cos of health issues and Ramzan. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy : D


	20. The Mail Order Husband

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Loki slowed, he heard it, the word that seemed branded into him, much like the mark Taneleer had left on his hip.
> 
> …it’s the Mail Order Husband…

Thor sat in the sunlight today, cross legged, on the floor of his balcony, surrounded by his supplies. There was a canopy above him, tied to the two heavy set columns that led into his room and two thinner poles brought out and tied firmly to the bannister overlooking the city.

Asgard was at the height of her activity, people moving around beneath them, doing their daily work, vessels and ships sailed through waters afar, but in the air closer up. Carts and buggies were driving below them, people lent a dull, delightful roar to the entire Kingdom.

She was alive, truly so, the sounds and noises only making it more obvious.

The prince was enjoying this life from his balcony, immersed fully in his work.

The sharp smell of oil and polish had always been too much for him to handle inside, so he’d taken his old set of bedsheets, his polishing cloths and his armour, out on the balcony to start his work.

He’d gone back in to change into a sleeveless tunic that he could sacrifice to stains and marks, returned to see the canopy set up and no staff member in sight.

Smiling at Olivier’s forethought, Thor had gone to start his work, then sighed loudly when he saw Ruben sitting on his chest piece, licking his paw and washing his ugly face.

For a moment, the prince stood there, just watching the rude, inconsiderate beast, then went over and nudged him off with his foot. Ruben meowed at him, disgruntled at the treatment and glared at him for the duration of his stay there.

Not that it bothered Thor, he enjoyed the sun, he liked the heat and the feeling of accomplishment that came with it. And he didn’t mind the glare of a cat as much as he thought.

Thor oiled his chest piece first, dabbing the cloth in polish, then oil, rubbing it over until it glowed a dull silver. He could see his reflection in it as well as the victories that came with this armour. It was a trophy for Thor and a prized one at that.

Thor had defeated armies in this armour, they had seen their faces reflected in it, much like Thor could now, before he struck them down and won. This armour could tell stories of the Mighty Thor and his battles by the marks on it.

There were scratches that Thor refused to have removed, he’d had to get it fixed multiple times but those scratches were like the tattoos and scars Thor was blessed with. They were stories in their own right.

They were his accomplishments, his tails, pressed into the armour with the loving kiss of victory or the bitter bite of defeat. He knew what each of them meant, where he had gotten them and whether he had won or lost that particular battle. They were his  marks, they were his history and whenever he polished his armour, he read them and remembered them, recalling all his accomplishments without a single written word.

He’d taken to scrubbing one of the bright rings above his breast and was completely invested in the task when cool, gentle fingers gathered up the hair at his nape and kissed his skin.

Thor startled, but smiled and looked behind him to see Loki bent over, grinning at him.

“Good morning”

“Greetings, dear heart” Thor reached up with a semi clean hand and took Loki’s “When did you wake?”

  “An hour ago” Loki came to crouch beside him “I saw you getting completely filthy and thought to ask you to bathe with me. Saving water and all”

“Your noble cause, aye?” Thor tipped his head to him, stealing a kiss “I will think about it”

Loki scoffed “Not much to think about, it’s a yes or no answer, Thor”

“Then I say…” Thor lingered, thinking about it and tried not to laugh when Loki narrowed his eyes.

“It’s not a difficult thing, Thor” Loki snapped

“Yes” Thor smiled instantly

“Oh, cheers, I get to bathe with the prince!” Loki cheered sarcastically, which Thor found funny “Come on, then, I have that meeting with your father in an hour”

“And you need me for emotional support” Thor stood when Loki did “I see, an endeavour worthy of the Mighty Thor”

“An endeavour that wouldn’t be needed if it weren’t for the Mighty Thor, more like” Loki slipped off his robe the moment they got into the bathing chambers “I would prefer not to meet him at all, but as of last night, I have a ball in my stomach that refuses to leave!”

Thor smirked “You are nervous”

Loki laughed loudly, sarcastically “Have you ever known me to be nervous?”

“Of course” Thor pulled his tunic off “All the time, you were likely born nervous. You are so nervous, in fact, that at times, you make me nervous”

He grinned when Loki gave him a dry glare and mouthed angry words too low spoken to be heard.

The bath, though short, was enjoyable.

The moment the water turned on, Thor had Loki pulled back against him, kissing and mouthing his shoulders and neck, holding his wet hair in his hand and moving him the way he wanted so he could kiss where he wanted.

For his part, Loki touched him, licked his skin, kissed and bit him just as hard, making Thor groan and pant in pleasure.

By the end of it, Loki had multiple marks on his neck and Thor had scratches on his back as they exited, talking as though they hadn’t done anything there.

Loki dressed in an outfit that Thor liked the moment he saw it.

It was a deep, blue tunic, loose around the sleeves, but tight at the cuff and it hung perfectly on Loki. His trousers were much the same, loose and flowing but tight at the ankles. He looked delectable and Thor wanted to pull him close and mess him up again.

Which he tried, of course, but Loki zapped him away after the first kiss.

“No, I have to immaculate” he said, “None of that until I return”

“Where is the fun in that?” Thor complained “Don’t you want to show Asgard that you are mine?”

“Possessive, much?” Loki fixed his hair, going to check in the mirror to comb it with his fingers “All Asgard will think me wanton, Thor – possibly more than they already do”

Thor hummed “Everyone is like that there, they just prefer not to acknowledge it”

His eyes roved over Loki again and filled with hunger.

“Well, that is the best I can do” Loki told himself, checking himself one last time before approaching Thor “Kiss for good luck”

He pecked Thor on the mouth, then walked past him to the door.

“I shall see you later”

Thor smirked and smacked his rear as he went past, making him cuss and hiss at him.

Not that Loki meant any of what he said, Thor thought as he watched the sway of his hips until Loki left and closed the door to their rooms behind him, he knew what lay in the Jotun’s heart well enough now.

So, humming and deciding to spend another night tossing around in bed with Loki, Thor went to dress himself for the day ahead.

The delegates were an irritating duty for him, but they awaited, still.

***

Loki had prepared himself for this meeting all night, most of the morning and especially in the last hour. There had been speeches, a grand entrance that had included fireworks and music, then another grand speech.

He had also thought about turning tail and running back to Thor and pretend to be too sick to move. His stay in bed with be beneficial to him and would please Thor, too, no doubt.

It really required no thinking, to be honest.

A day spent between the sheets with Thor versus a day spent on his guard with Odin.

One would have to be stupid to choose the later, but Loki preferred to call himself a man who was without choices. He was as confident as he could be, perhaps a tad too well dressed for a stroll with the King, but then again, he couldn’t be too careful.

Who knew what Odin had planned for him?

He was led, as expected, to the King’s public office. Here, Odin met with the lower nobility and the chosen leaders of the various states of Asgard. This morning, he had put aside two long hours for his meeting with Loki. He had likely planned them well and made sure that Loki was going to be intimidated by everything he did or said.

The hallway that led to Odin’s public office was predictably well guarded. Loki could see the men clearly standing against the walls, well armoured guards, who ensured that everyone who came to meet Odin was behind a thick velvet rope.

There were also, well hidden men higher up, with advanced weapons in their hands, watching out for any and all danger.

Today, it seemed, Odin was meeting with the common people, since they wore their best and every single one of them had an awestruck expression on their faces.

Loki arrived, escorted by two guards, making then stop their talking and look. His steps faltered, just for a moment and he debated between going to them or going right to Odin.

As it was, the public decided for him.

As Loki slowed, he heard it, the word that seemed branded into him, much like the mark Taneleer had left on his hip.

_…it’s the Mail Order Husband…_

Whoever whispered that, would never know the depth of the wound it caused Loki, even if Loki had given him or her the satisfaction of looking up.

Loki refused to, he refused to look at them and kept his head high, walking with the guards to Odin’s room, hearing the whispers increase behind him until he shut the door behind him after he stepped into the office and closing the door with a sharp snap.

The voices and every other noise outside cancelled quickly after that, leaving him alone in the large, comfortable room, his green eyes settling on the lone man sitting at his desk.

Odin was reading, a few papers were in his hands and was trying his very best to be patient with the illegibility of the script he was given. He would have looked strict, had it not been for one tiny detail about him which made Loki pull his lips inwards to keep from snickering.

His hand was dipped into a bowl of sweets, brightly coloured and delicious looking even from a far. He was popping them into his mouth as he read, unaware that his much awaited guest was right there.

Loki took the moments given to him, inhaled deeply when Odin put another sweet between his teeth, then cleared his throat.

It might have been slightly deliberate, Loki’s timing, because Odin looked up, the treat sticking out between his lips, his glasses making his eyes look absolutely enormous.

He blinked a few times at Loki, who had allowed himself a smile, then gained his composure.

Odin was quick to make the sweet vanish into his mouth and he pulled the glasses off, standing.

“Ah, Loki” he greeted “You’re early”

Loki bowed his head to him “Forgive me, my lord, I didn’t wish to waste your time”

Odin hummed and gestured to the seat before him “Do sit down. Could I offer you something to eat or drink before we get on with the unpleasantries?”

A coil of dread began to unfurl within Loki but he didn’t let it show on his face.

“Nay, but thank you” Loki walked over, taking the seat opposite.

Odin was dressed much like Loki, black and gold, his chosen colours, looking very flattering on the King. Before he sat, he picked up the sweets and extended the bowl to Loki.

“From Alfhiem” he smiled “truly delicious”

Loki nodded his thanks and took one, expecting it to be overly sweet. But as he unwrapped it, he saw it was lined with sweet fibres that covered delicious looking green pistachios, which Loki coincidentally loved.

It really was delicious and it showed on Loki’s face when he had it, prompting Odin to put it between them rather than his own side.

“Now” Odin said, taking his seat “You know I have called you here for a purpose, so let’s not waste time”

Loki’s back was straight and he looked poised. Inside, however, he was a turmoil of dread and emotions and worry.

Gods help him, he wished.

“You know I have – reservations where you are concerned, Loki” Odin told him “As does Balder and the Council. I cannot do much about their anger or prejudice or whatever they feel, but I can do something about mine, aye?”

Loki nodded “Yes, sir”

Odin smirked at the title but let it pass “I have thought this over for a few days and I feel that we need to talk about a lot of things, Loki. Would you consider making these meetings a regular thing? Nothing too over whelming, just a weekly meeting. I wish to know you better. I find I don’t trust you as much as Thor does and rather than to give into my anger, I want to do something constructive with it”

Loki could swear he heard Bestla and Frigga speaking then, not Odin.

“Oh” he said, looking at the table “I wouldn’t mind, I would like that, my lord, but first, there is something I wish to say and I hope you will listen and not disregard it”

If Odin was surprised, Loki saw none of it on his face, but he took his silence as encouragement and leaned forward a little.

“I know that my kind are not welcome here” he said “You, Prince Balder and a few others have made that very clear”

He saw the lightest dusting on Odin’s cheek and gave him credit for _at least_ feeling badly about it.

“And I also know that I am not welcome here” Loki continued “That has been made clear as well. However, I want you to know that I have no ill intent, I do not want to harm Thor, I do not want power or anything, my lord.”

“But you want something” Odin said, “I can see it in your eyes that you desire something, Loki”

Loki conceded to that, nodding once “I do. And it is neither power nor gold nor anything that will bring this realm harm, I merely … I merely wish to find companionship with Thor. You do not know how important that is to me”

“Why Thor?” Odin asked, leaning back, arms crossed “When you could have anyone else?”

Loki smiled ruefully, looking at Odin “You must think more of me than I do, King. I cannot have anyone else, no one wants me. Nay, that is not true – the wrong people want me. Svadilfari, Taneleer, men howling sneering words at me on the street, perhaps they want me and had it not been for one, solid fact, I might have considered even one of them to crush my loneliness”

Odin raised a brow “And what is your ‘fact’, young Loki?”

A warmth spread inside Loki when he smiled at Odin, biting his lip as he confessed it properly, even to himself.

“I love him, my lord” he said “I do not want to be with anyone else”

Odin hummed “I see. So I guess his money, his title, the fact that he will be king …”

“Have nothing to do with it, whether you believe me or not” Loki cut in “It is him I love. His person, his spirit, which is what I adore. I know you and all Asgard will never believe me even if I shout it from the mountains until I lose my voice, but I do. He has proved to be someone I could never think I could have. Not a Prince, not future King, but a good man. A little rough around the edges, of course, but inherently good. Good to _me_. You will never know what that means to someone like me”

Odin stayed silent, studying Loki for a few seconds and Loki didn’t know what to say. His admission had left a lump in his throat and a weight in his chest, which was making it hard to breathe.

He didn’t care if Odin didn’t believe him, it was something only Loki and Thor were concerned with. Loki didn’t care who called him a liar, a gold digger, a manipulator or anything else. If he was with Thor, none of that mattered.

The King was biting his lip before he sighed, seemingly coming to a decision.

“I find that hard to believe, like you said” Odin told him “But allow me to give you the benefit of the doubt by asking something of you.”

And that had Loki tense entirely. It boded ill for him, he knew this.

“I want you to sign this” Odin reached into his desk, opening a drawer and pulling out a document with a royal seal on it “it is a document dated a day before your wedding. I have signed it, the Council head has signed it and now you will. Sign this and you will forgo any and all payment, assets or property Thor has or buys you, which you currently have a right to, should this marriage fail”

Loki went cold as Odin extended the document to him and took it with slightly shaking hands. He read over it and felt his eyes prickle.

It was a contract stating that Loki was willingly forgoing any and all claim to Thor’s assets.

He would be tossed out on the street with nothing to his name if Thor ever left him. Not that Loki thought that could happen, but he didn’t expect Odin to make him sign something so humiliating.

Loki didn’t want Thor’s riches or anything he had, he didn’t!

But not signing it made it look like he did and he looked at Odin, his chest feeling heavy.

“This is an ante nuptial agreement” he whispered to him.

Odin nodded “It is. Will you sign it?”

No, Loki wanted to yell. He wanted to tear it to pieces and throw it away.

He was not after Thor’s money! He didn’t want a title, he didn’t!

He wasn’t what Odin thought, he was in love, that was it!

Loki wanted to scream this at Odin, but his lips remained tightly shut. He looked through it, feeling his throat constrict with emotion the longer he read it.

“You think this marriage will fail?” Loki asked him softly.

“I have my doubts about him and you” Odin told him “Mostly, I think that once you have gotten what you want out of him, you will go your own way, meet someone who ‘wants to be with you’ as you said in your speech.”

Loki’s hands shook and he looked at it again, the damning piece of paper. He hated it, he hated Odin at this moment.

‘I, Loki Jarrson, Thor’s Mail Ordered Husband …’ it said

Loki didn’t read it the first time, now he did and it burned into him, since there was an explanation of that term.

Without a word, he placed it on Odin’s desk and reached for his pen, angrily signing his name beneath it. He tossed the pen aside and averted his gaze from Odin, glaring angrily at the floor.

He didn’t want Odin to know how much he’d just hurt him.

There was the sound of the contract being taken away, then Odin sighed.

“Now we have an understanding” Odin said “And can get to know one another better, hm?”

Cruel, Odin was cruel to him! Loki took a deep breath but gave no other response and Odin put his glasses back on.

“You may leave if you wish” he said “Or we can take a tour, whichever you prefer”

“I wish to go to my chambers” Loki told him, his voice tight.

“Very well, then” Odin picked up the documents he was reading, then nodded to the door “The guards are waiting outside. Good bye”

“Goodbye, my lord” Loki stood and strode off, opening the door and storming out. He startled the guards when he all but burst out and the people once more stared at him.

The whispers hadn’t stopped but when he came over, they increased, people pointed at him, he heard their words, their stories.

_Bought him from Taneleer_

_What shame has he brought on the Kingdom, bringing him here?_

_Dirty mongrel mutt_

Loki turned to the people, his hands shaking with anger and the pain their words put him through, but he controlled himself. He held his head high and walked off, letting them talk. His heels clicked on the floor as he walked, the two guards always behind him.

They probably hated him, too, thought him cheap and lowly, not worth gracing Thor’s bed! They acted like they were protecting him, but would love to slit his throat the first chance they got.

Loki didn’t know he had tears slipping down his face until a hesitant touch landed on his shoulder.

He stopped, surprised, to see one of the guards extending a handkerchief to him, his eyes kind and gentle.

“Forgive my boldness, my Prince” he said softly “But – But you shouldn’t do that in public. They see it and feel encouraged in hurting you. As difficult as it is, it would be wise not to give in”

Loki licked his lips and took the handkerchief with a gentle smile upon his lips.

“Thank you” he whispered

The guards seemed relieved and the other one poked his friend in the side, smiling.

“They are just fools, my lord” he said “Much like us, but in a different category. I’m Val, my lord and this is Sang, we’re cousins, Prince, we joined together”

“Ah, family” Loki smiled, playing with the handkerchief and discreetly wiping his face “ How has your experience been so far?”

“Wonderful, my lord” Sang said “Dear norns, on our first day, Prince Balder headed our orientation. I feared my heart would stop in nervousness”

“I handled him perfectly, Prince” Val boasted “Tis the King and Elder Prince that do me in”

Loki smiled “Well, prepare to get done in because you two are to escort me to him. I believe he is meeting the delegates, aye?”

“Yes,” Val said, straightening his shoulders “We shall take you there”

“We would be delighted” Sang agreed.

Loki made a mental note of having these two assigned to his and Thor’s apartments. He liked them and they were a friendly pair to be around – something Loki needed in this lonely time of his.

They led the way outside and found the delegation quickly enough. It was easy to, seeing as they were the over dressed bunch who were sitting at the garden, having tea and cakes while his poor husband sat with them, pretending to listen to them.

Loki thought about spooking them with a little magic, but quickly gave that idea up because there was hot tea involved and Loki didn’t want to burn the guests he was to meet the first time. So, his smile in place, his attitude perfect, Loki walked over, smiling brightly at Thor when Thor saw him.

He expected a smile, he expected Thor’s eyes to brighten when he saw him, but that was not what he got.

Thor looked stricken and his eyes widened as he got to his feet, rushing over and making the delegation stare. He jogged to Loki, his voice urgent.

“Loki go back,” Thor whispered, his hands holding Loki’s hands within his “Please, love, just turn around and walk…”

His eyes were filled with emotions Loki didn’t think he ever wanted to see there again. Fear, anger, worry, panic…

“Is that Prince Loki?” a voice called from behind Thor.

The blonde closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He looked at Loki and gave his hands a squeeze, painting a smile on his face when he faced the man who had spoken.

“Yes, my lord” Thor smiled “But he’s feeling unwell, I will have him taken to our rooms, then”

“How unfortunate” the King of Vanahiem, King Rod, looked Loki up and down deliberately “I was looking forward to a tete-a-tete with him”

Thor moved in front of Loki, smiling “Next time, my King, please forgive me”

King Rod was amused, the delegation was watching Loki carefully and once more the whispers started. It was harder for Loki to hear them, mostly because Thor was kissing his head and telling him to _go_ , but he heard that phrase again, that name, that chant…

_Taneleer’s whore…_

_The Mail Order Husband_

_Paid for, sent here like a parcel…_

Loki vaguely felt Thor guiding him to turn back, felt the guards come to his side and gently guide him back.

But more than anything else, he felt that name press into his skin and burn him, that title, that _taint_.

The Mail Order Husband.

***

What Thor saw when he was freed from the delegates later that day would stay stuck in his heart for a very long time.

He knew they had hurt Loki, he knew Loki was upset and he felt the pain in his chest when he saw him.

There was no one in their apartments, Olivier was downstairs helping with the formal dinner Odin wanted to have with King Rod before he left, so they had their privacy.

So, Loki had thought himself alone.

He sat against a divan, the pillows at his back, his face turned towards the small balcony at Thor’s lobby. There was a mug of tea beside him, a book overturned in his lap, but that was not what brought Thor pain.

What jammed itself into Thor’s heart like an arrow were the silent tears that slipped down Loki’s cheeks and the way his hands shook. Loki wasn’t even bothering to hide that shivering give away to his inner turmoil, why should he?

He thought himself alone.

And perhaps, when Thor wasn’t around, he truly was.

Friendless, loveless, motherless, Loki was _alone_.

He had no one, really. A man he’d loved had left him and lied to him, a monster chased him, his father wanted his mother more than he wanted him, his mother left him, off to live her own life. Even the Queen, Prince and Princess, though nice, were not part of his life. They were well meaning, of course, but not here, not with him, not when Loki needed them.

Thor was the only one who was there and the only one Loki had.

No one in this kingdom would do for him the things Thor wanted to do, no one would befriend him.

It was cruel, it was heartless of the norns to make Loki feel so alone, to reduce him to sitting here, alone, wiping his tears after this world put them there.

Thor stood by the door, half in half out, his blue eyes looking at everything that made Loki who he was.

And at this moment all he saw was a bone deep loneliness in his husband as he sat in the aftermath of the cruelty that came with the strange realm he was forced to live in.

Thor debated about leaving Loki in privacy or going to him, but when he saw him raise his hand and wipe from his cheeks the traces of his grief and pain, Thor couldn’t just stand there.

He closed the door behind him with a snap and Loki tensed, wiping his eyes, then turning.

His smile broke Thor’s heart because it wasn’t real and the sadness he saw in his eyes bored into Thor’s mind, making him hate it.

Loki should never look like that.

“You’re back” Loki stood, brushing his clothes down “I didn’t hear you”

Thor didn’t know what to say for a few seconds, then he sighed and walked over, taking his hands in his own, pulling him close and into his arms, pressing his lips to Loki’s shoulders. He felt Loki’s stiff body melt against his almost instantly and he sighed, rubbing his back, then slowly kneaded his shoulders.

Loki’s hands rested so softly against his back, Thor almost didn’t feel it until he gently dug his nails in, pulling Thor closer.

Thor felt Loki’s sigh against his neck and cradled his head, stroking his hair gently, trying to calm him.

“He told you what he did, then?” Loki asked softly “That’s why you are upset?”

“He didn’t have to, I was there” Thor whispered “Gods, Loki, I am so sorry, I didn’t know Rod would see you, I didn’t expect that you would be there otherwise I would never have…”

Thor broke off, then pulled back to look at Loki.

“Do?” he asked as what Loki said registered “Rod didn’t do anything, who are you talking about?”

Loki’s eyes looked worried for a second and he shook his head “Uh …”

“Loki” Thor’s voice was stern, brooking no argument “Who are you talking about?”

He could see Loki didn’t want to say. The man pressed his lips tight together and shook his head and Thor sighed, because he had his answer.

There was only one man Loki had met today.

“I can go and ask him during dinner” Thor told him “Make a whole scene, disrupt the delegation, the meeting…it would be easier if you told me”

Loki gave him a disapproving look and looked away, only gritting his teeth when Thor stroked his cheek and made him look back.

“Loki?” Thor coaxed gently “Tell me”

Loki looked at him, at his beautiful eyes, then exhaled “First swear you will not go barging around, trying to fix it”

Thor raised his brows “It’s that bad?’

Unpleasantness started to settle all over him and Thor waited for Loki to speak.

When Loki did, it was the last thing Thor expected.

“I wouldn’t have signed it” Loki told him, playing with his fingers, looking down at them rather than at Thor “But he gave me no choice even as he did give me one”

“Oh, Loki…” Thor whispered, stroking his jaw “I’m sorry, I really am”

Loki didn’t respond to him, which felt awful, he shouldn’t be treated like this, he shouldn’t be made to look at his hands rather than at his husband because his father had hurt him.

“Is this what it will be like?” Loki asked softly “For me? Is this to happen for the rest of my life here?”

“What?” Thor frowned “No, Loki of course not, it …”

“Don’t lie” Loki looked up at him “Not to me, Thor.”

Thor opened his mouth to say something and deny it, to tell Loki that no, it wouldn’t be like this, but he couldn’t.

He raised his hands to console him but then let them drop to his sides and sighed.

“I – I don’t know” he said softly “I wish it were any other way, I wish everyone would accept you. I don’t know why they are not, why Father did what he did”

“I do” Loki told him “It’s because of what I am. Jotun, then not only that, you ordered me from a notorious whore dealer, you know what that makes me”

“Loki …”

“Of course they would think this, Thor, what else could have happened?” Loki asked, glowering at him “You think things would ever be easy for me? That they would ever go my way? No, that doesn’t happen for me. It never has and it never will and this day was proof of it. I know it, you know it, the Norns know it. I can live in the most amazing, beautiful place in the universe and still be treated with disdain, intolerance,suspicion and prejudice, encouraged by your father!”

“No, I …”

“You think marrying me fixed everything, Thor?” Loki asked “You think just because there is a ring on my finger, people will accept me? No, they won’t and you are a fool to believe that, Thor!”

Thor looked at him, hurt, truly hurt by what Loki was saying about himself.

“No one accepts me as a prince, no one accepts me as anything other than a dirty, used and manipulative harlot!” Loki told him “Never mind that I had never had anyone before you, they all think I lured you into my bed and tricked you into this wedding with the training given to me by Taneleer! They don’t even bother to know who I am or what I have been through, they just judge, they will never stop and I told you I didn’t want to marry, I told you!”

Thor stayed silent, watching Loki’s eyes shine suddenly with the tears he’d been carrying within them the entire day.

He saw Loki cuss and turn away, wiping at them with his palm, not wanting Thor to see them, not wanting Thor to see him so weak.

He sniffled softly, looking at the floor, angry at Odin, at the kingdom, angry at himself for believing and hoping this wouldn’t happen.

He was angry at Thor, too, for pushing him into this so when his strong arms came around him, Loki shook his head.

“No” he pushed at him, harder, when he didn’t let go “No, leave me alone!”

Thor didn’t.

Despite his struggles, Thor pulled him back against him, holding him close. He turned him around and Loki pushed at his chest, pressing his shaking hands between them as Thor embraced him tight.

It took a few stubborn moments, because Loki would never make it easy, but Thor managed to pull Loki firmly against him and waited his struggling to fade away before he once more, rubbed his back.

He could feel how tense Loki was in his arms, he could feel him trying to hold back and he couldn’t understand how to fix it. He didn’t know what to say but he tried, still.

“Loki” he sighed “Let’s go inside, we can talk better once we are comfortable, alright?”

Loki nodded his head but made no move to walk. He just stayed stuck to Thor and after a few seconds, Thor just scooped him up into his arms and carried him inside.

He could swear that when he walked, he heard the broken pieces of Loki’s heart cry out inside him.

And how that just twisted his own heart to hear them.

***

 “I didn’t know this qualified as comfort, Loki” Thor said, looking at the man perched astride him.

They were both in their casual clothes, loose, flowing and clean. Loki was wearing Thor’s long black sleeveless gown, the one that was opened at the front and made Loki’s mouth water. Thor was in his sleep trousers and nothing else.

The drapes around the bed they lay on moved gently in the wind and Ruben snored unaware on his royal cushion, his angry face as peaceful as it could be.

There were goblets and plates from when Thor and Loki had their lunch and tranquillity settled over them.

“Hm?” Loki asked, using his finger to trace the tattoos on Thor’s skin “It’s very comfortable for me”

“It won’t be if you keep doing that thing with your finger” Thor told him, gently running his hands over Loki’s legs, feeling the soft gentle material of his pants.

Loki smirked “I thought you liked the thing I did with my finger”

“No, I like what you do with your tongue” Thor grinned, then hissed when Loki smacked his belly “No, we just ate, no hitting”

Loki snorted and looked at the patterns again, reading the stories.

“I wish I could read the ones that were on your back” Loki said “The ones I see there now remind me of the pain you’ve gone through”

Thor raised a brow “They were all painful, Loki, some were just worth it”

“What about the ones that were not worth it?” Loki asked, tracing up to his jaw “Do you want them remembered too?”

“I do” Thor said, reaching up to hold Loki’s hands “I have them put on me, too. Then if not, they are on my armour”

“The one you were polishing this morning?”

“That one, exactly” Thor said “it’s as marked as I am, with the glories and defeats of battle”

“Oh, is it?” Loki asked, moving off him “Let me bring it over and I will see what marks you have on it”

Thor groaned as Loki left, but didn’t stop him. Choosing instead, to watch as he  carefully unhinged the front of his armour and brought it over, setting it beside them on the bed before once more sitting on Thor’s lap.

“You’re fond of my lap, aren’t you, Ruben?”

Loki slit his eyes at him, but ignored that comment, turning his attention to the armour that lay beside them.

“Alright, then” Loki said, looking at the scratches “Tell me about this one”

Thor raised his head and looked, smiling “Ah, that is when I was hunting in the forbidden forest with my friends and got ambushed by a group of rogues trying to kidnap me for ransom”

“Nay” Loki’s eyes widened “What happened?”

“I didn’t wish to hurt them, I knew they just needed money, but when they attacked Lady Sif, I was forced to” Thor said “One of them shot at me when an arrow and my amour saved me. Afterwards, I had to take drastic action and electrocute them. The ones who survived were given the choice to leave or be taken into Asgardian custody. It was sad that they chose our dungeons where they were at least fed well”

“Oh” Loki furrowed his brow “Are there more like them in the forbidden forest? And why is it forbidden?”

“There are, but since it’s a dangerous place to go” Thor said meaningfully “there are only in limited spaces. Occasionally we send out troops to give them the same offer. There are many who are not bandits or the like, but homeless and desperate. We offer them homes and a place to stay in exchange for them helping us look for more like them.”

Loki raised his brows, impressed “That’s a wonderful initiative. Whose idea was it?”

“Balder” Thor said “He’s done many things like this and I thought this one was spectacularly wonderful”

“I see” Loki said, then looked at the armour again. “What about this one?”

“That” Thor said, once he saw Loki point to another “Was when I was chased out of a harem in Alfhiem”

“What?” Loki gasped, laughing “Thor!”

“I was young!” Thor snickered “And it was worth it, I tell you”

Loki shook his head and pointed out another, then another, listening to the stories Thor told attentively.

It was exciting and funny, Loki loved listening to them and pointed to yet another.

He found a large dent, pushed in by something powerful and gestured to it.

“When did you get that dent?” he asked him

Thor looked at it and beneath him, Loki felt the man tense. His heart faltered at the plain hurt he saw flash over Thor’s face before he controlled it and felt the deep breath he took so he could answer Loki.

“I got that when Mother died” Thor whispered softly “I ran in just as she hit the ground and he blasted at me with magic. It didn’t down me, but it gave him time enough to escape”

“H-Him?” Loki asked softly, Thor’s face and the pain in his voice made Loki’s chest hurt.

“Malekith” Thor told him, still looking at the dent “He had broken into Asgard and attacked us. I was busy fighting his men off, I never would have left her alone otherwise, I wouldn’t have. I didn’t … I didn’t even know she was alone”

Loki bit his lip as he saw Thor relive it, he saw each emotion play on Thor’s features and saw the pain it still caused him.

“When I realized where she was, I flew there, I was so fast, I thought I would reach her” Thor said “But the moment I walked through the door was a moment too late. I saw her fall, he’d impaled her with his sword and thrown her to the ground like she meant nothing.”

“Gods, Thor ….” Loki reached over and touched his cheek “Thor, I’m so sorry…”

“I didn’t even catch him” Thor turned his head to look at Loki, holding his hand to his cheek “I threw Mjolnir at him but he’d flown away in his ship. When I turned around, I saw Father just … laying on the floor, holding her, stroking her cheek as though she was merely asleep”

Tightness around his throat made Loki take a deep breath and he tried to soothe Thor.

“Balder came in later, he was just as devastated”

“Why did he attack you?” Loki asked him

Thor frowned “The Aether. It’s a volatile mix of evil and magic. We had it here, in the vaults when he came. We never thought he would. I never thought what happened would happen, either”

Loki rubbed his thumb gently over Thor’s cheek, then slowly laid himself down on top of him, his head on Thor’s shoulder.

Thor’s arm came around him and he easily took the comfort Loki offered him.

His hand stretched out and touched the armour, running his fingertip over the edges as he was lost, Thor sighed.

“I lost most of myself with my mother” Thor told Loki, his voice gentle “I didn’t think I would get it back”

His large hand rubbed circles on Loki’s back, while Loki kept running his finger over Thor’s tattoos.

“Do you think you will get it back?”

Thor nodded “Possibly. I’m getting there”

He felt Loki move his hand from his chest to his shoulder, then skated over his arm to rest over Thor’s, linking their fingers together.

“I don’t want my old self back” Loki told him “I want to be better”

“Better than you are?” Thor kissed his head “I sort of like you, to be honest”

Loki smiled, his hair spilled over Thor’s shoulder “Oh? Is that right?”

“Yes” Thor answered

“What do you like about me?” Loki lifted his head and set his chin on Thor’s chest, looking at him “Hmm?”

“Well” Thor reached up to play with his hair “I like your hair…”

“Oh, how original”

Thor smiled “Your eyes, very beautiful, I must say”

“Ah!” Loki batted his lashes at him “Thank you”

“Your voice” Thor chuckled “Your hands”

He caught one as it rested on the bed and brought it to his lips, kissing each of his fingers one by one.

“You like what they can do, you mean” Loki said

“Aye, nothing else” Thor nibbled on his fingertip, “I like … your lips. Those are one of my favourite things about you. They are soft, supple, when you smile I can look at them forever”

“Those are features” Loki said “They don’t count”

“They surely do” Thor let his hand go “Alright, then. I like your spirit, your kindness, your sensitivity – even though you try to hide that, I love how you make me feel and how I can care for you and feel like I have done something amazing”

Loki rolled his eyes “You can do better than that, Thor, come on”

He smacked his chest and lay face down over him, crossing his arms at Thor’s collar.

“Oh, that didn’t impress you?” Thor asked, placing his hands on Loki’s hips “Then, I should try something better”

Loki gasped when Thor suddenly flipped them over and climbed on him, smiling at his great feat. Loki lay beneath him, his hair spread under him and glared.

“Throwing me away is doing better?” Loki asked

Thor chuckled “Of course not. I am not even trying”

“Oh, good, I was worried for a second”

Thor narrowed his eyes and lowered his head, starting to kiss up Loki’s throat.

Loki loved it, he truly loved this feeling and his eyes closed, a soft sigh escaped his lips when it sent delicious shivers down his back.

Thor rumbled in laughter and continued, feeling Loki’s hands go into his hair. He loved doing this, especially when Loki responded to well.

Last time, he had him cry out louder, he wanted the same to happen now.

Thor grinded down against him and Loki hissed, pulling Thor closer as he raised his knees, keeping Thor where he wanted. His hands slid down to Thor’s shoulders and he whimpered when Thor bit his neck.

“Ah…!” Loki cried out softly, his eyes closing “Thor….”

Thor bit him again and Loki keened, his hands raking down Thor’s arms.

His feet dragged on the mattress and Loki tipped his head back as Thor moved his lips, his tongue and his teeth over his long throat. He shivered in pleasure when Thor bit his Adam’s apple and moved to the other side to do the same.

He bit, he licked over it, then he sucked marks into it, panting heavily against his skin as he placed open mouthed kisses where his lips touched and ground down against him.

“Please…” Loki whimpered, lifting his hips up to meet his movements “Thor…”

Thor laughed against his ear and bit his lobe, tugging it gently. It sent a shudder through Loki and he lifted his hips again, seeking the friction he needed.

Thor, of course, obliged, pushing him down and then kissing him proper as he rut against him. It was quick and Loki gasped, moaning softly every time Thor rubbed his arousal against his, making him get harder with every desperate thrust.

He felt like a teen, someone who was in the throes of their first love, excited by everything and making everything passionate.

It didn’t take long for him to come, gasping because Thor kissed him hard when he did, then following, not a few minutes after.

Thor lowered himself on him and Loki gently held him, rubbing his back and shoulders.

“We ruined our clothes”

Loki snickered “As if that even matters to you”

Thor groaned and Loki felt him mouth his skin again.

“No, we have to have dinner, Thor” he said “We need to get ready”

“It’s midday” Thor said “We can sneak this in”

Loki whined when Thor started it again

“Fine, then don’t you blame me if we get late”

Thor smiled against his skin and Loki hissed in pleasure when he felt those hands upon him hard and promising.

***

 They were all waiting at the formal dinner.

King Rod was sitting next to Odin with his son and wife, Bestla sat on Odin’s other side with Balder and all of them were waiting.

A servant had been sent once to get Thor and Loki and returned with no answer, then again, coming back to tell them that they were on their way.

They were dressed in their best. All five of them, the cloches were yet to be lifted from the slowly heating food. There were chafers of food on the side tables, at the serving lines, waiting to be brought over to the dining table.

They smelled heavenly and since all of them were hungry at some degree, the scent of food was torture.

They waited ten more minutes before the doors opened, letting Thor and Loki walk in, both of them looking chagrined.

“Forgive me” Thor said “T’was Loki’s fault”

Loki gaped and rammed his knuckles into Thor’s ribs, making him grunt.

“Whatever, it’s alright” Odin smiled at them, but his eyes were disappointed “Do be seated, our guests have been waiting”

Sufficiently chastised for now, Thor and Loki slunk to their chairs and kept to themselves as dinner was finally served.

There was silence as everyone got rid of their biting hunger, but eventually, conversation started between them easily enough.

And of course, since Rod hadn’t looked away from Loki once, the topic eventually turned to him.

“Thor” Rod’s wife smiled “Dear, you never told us you knew Taneleer Tivan. He has quite a history, doesn’t he?” 

Loki tensed beside him but Thor kept his composure very well.

“You’re mistaken, my lady” he said calmly enough but his smile had an edge to it “I do not know him at all”

Odin raised a brow when the last, Zenna, gasped in mock surprise. It was so transparent it had Bestla rolling her eyes.

“Oh, I do not think so” she said “I heard he did you quite a favour, if you know what I refer to”

Thor’s hand tightened into a fist but before he could speak, Balder did.

“Nay, my lady, what do you refer to?” he asked, frowning politely.

Zenna looked at him, then gestured to Loki “Why…”

“I know you wouldn’t suggest that _Loki_ was from there, what an unsavoury rumour” Balder said “It would be a taint on the royal family and the family of Asgard no less, and cause for real damage to both Loki’s reputation and yours”

“I beg your pardon?” Rod frowned “What are you implying?”

“Nothing much, my lord” Balder said “Merely pointing out that if rumour like the ones your wife clearly heard get out in the open, then who knows what can happen. They could question my Grandmother’s trips to Alfhiem or perhaps your wife’s friendship to Lord Brook of Vanahiem.”

Zenna went pale and King Rod frowned, looking at her.

“See?” Balder pointed out, smiling, just a little “Rumours can go both ways”

The subject was quickly dropped, but more kept surfacing, mostly from Rod’s ignorant, stupid brat of a son.

He was about Loki’s age and eager to take the throne, which made him an arrogant little shite who Thor just wanted to punch.

He watched Loki all night, making it hard for Loki to concentrate on his dinner, then when they retreated to a sitting area, he chose a seat closest to him and offered him his dessert when Loki finished his own.

“Nay, thank you” Loki smiled at him politely “It’s very sweet of you to offer”

Thor was obligated to sit next to the King and his father, Bestla sat with the Queen so Loki, only out of politeness, sat with Shite Junior.

“Prince Loki” Shite Junior stood, extending a hand “A walk around the gardens, then? I hear they are amazing”

Loki blinked, hesitating, then looked from his hand to Thor, then Odin. Odin nodded once and Thor gave him a look.

The twerp wouldn’t do anything.

“That’s a grand idea” Thor said as Loki stood “You could show him the trick were you make it hard to breathe.”

He turned to King Rod “He did that to me, I swear, nothing has ever scared me more”

Rod chuckled and looked at his son “Be wary, Aarin, he’s a feisty one for sure”

Loki tried not to give him a withering glare and stood, not taking Aarin’s hand. Of course, he still took Loki’s and placed it on his arm as though guiding him around.

The Jotun allowed it for a total of ten seconds before he pulled away and walked ahead, leading the brat to the palace grounds.

He made no move to talk and he could almost feel the stare Aarin gave at the back of his head.

The pair made their way down the halls, going to the royal gardens.

Out of the corner of his eye, Loki saw Sang follow him, discreetly, of course, which made Loki feel better.

Aarin stepped closer to him and Loki had to give him his attention, which he regretted when he saw him looking at him intensely.

Rather tired of it at this point, Loki sighed

“What do you want?” he asked, his voice a little waspish.

Aarin grinned “Did you really belong to him? Was he just as they say? How does it feel to be ordered as though off a menu of harlots?”

Loki grit his jaw and looked to see Sang still behind them.

“I do not know what you are talking about” Loki said “And kindly refrain from assuming things about me”

“I am not assuming” Aarin told him “Everyone knows, it’s not like it’s a secret, no matter what you and your husband say.”

“What everyone knows and what the truth is are two different things” Loki told him “Now stop talking about it so we can see the damned gardens, then leave”

He heard him chuckle again and increased his speed, leaving behind both Sang and the brat.

The gardens were not that far off and in the late night, the moonlight cast a stunning silver glow on everything, including Loki, who looked surreal in this light.

Even his marks were slightly more prominent and had Thor been there with him, they would have gotten more than a little handsy tonight.

As it was, Thor was not his company, this fool was and Loki wanted to get it over with as soon as possible.

The gardens were behind a large wall, covered in ivy and surrounding the stunning botanical marvel. Loki liked spending time here whenever he could and loved the flowers planted here.

Tonight, he wanted to spend no time here, he wanted to give Shite a glimpse of it, then return to the others.

But the moment Loki stepped across, his wrist was grabbed in a hard grip and he turned in time to see Aarin shove him back and throw him to the ground.

Loki hit it hard and groaned when a heavy boot set on his chest, keeping him down.

“Do you have any idea what I could do to you right now?” Aarin hissed

Loki scoffed “I don’t care. Do you know what I can do to you?”

Aarin chuckled “Oh, Loki, Loki, Loki…. You should be more careful about who you anger, but you don’t care”

He pressed down and Loki’s hands glowed with magic and a second after that, Aarin shouted in pain as he was tossed back, hard on his back.

He blinked, trying to make sense of his surroundings and whined as the impact began to register.

Loki appeared in his line of vision a few moments later and looked down at him.

“You listen to me and you listen well, brat” Loki said “I will let this go only once and it isn’t for you. I will do it for my husband and his family. Try something like that again and I will not be kind”

Aarin slit his gaze at him and Loki gave in to the impulse and kicked him in the side.

“Oops” Loki said “You hurt your ribs”

Sang, who was watching everything, hesitated, but walked over when Loki called him.

“Take him to the healing wing, he had a nasty fall” Loki said pleasantly, but there was anger in his eyes that Sang didn’t want to look at for too long.

Once his orders were being carried out, Loki made his way back to his chambers, sending Thor a note that he was unwell and wished to go to sleep.

Not that he would, with the anger he felt, but he wanted to be alone.

Aarin’s words still hurt, despite Loki countering them.

He was as cruel as Asgard could be.

***

_The room was dark but Loki knew Thor was there._

_He sat where he was, brushing his hair as his husband approached, lit only barely by the moonlight._

_Loki exhaled, the previous day’s events and words carved deeply into his skin and bone. The name he hated so much, the taint placed upon him by his fate._

_It would always be there, there would always be people like Aarin who believed the worst of him._

_No matter what he did, it would never end for him._

_Thor’s hands landed on his shoulders and he heard the faint dripping of water somewhere in the distance. The weight on his shoulders, however, took that from his mind and he set his brush down._

_“Aarin tried to attack me” he said “Tossed me to the ground when I refused to answer his questions”_

_Thunder rumbled in the distance and lightning flashed as Thor’s anger spiked._

_The dripping he heard was likely the rain that came before and Loki sighed._

_“I scared him off for now” he said, placing a hand over Thor’s “But I don’t know how long that will work. The bastard would probably try to get revenge”_

_Thor growled and Loki shook his head when bolts of lightning appeared closer than before._

_“You know you don’t have to protect me all the time” Loki said “Your anger can fade, I took care of him.”_

_Thor squeezed his shoulders once more and lowered his head._

_Lightning flashed over and over, lightning up the room and that was when Loki saw his face in the mirror._

_A scream tore from his throat, only to be silenced by a large hand as it came over his mouth and Thor’s arm pulled him back against him, trapping him there._

_Half of Thor’s face was gone, flesh peeled off and fell to the floor and blood slipped off him, dripping to the floor._

_Dripping, the sound that had been there since Thor entered, it wasn’t rain, it was blood._

_It was Thor’s blood!_

_The flesh was gone around his eye, showing clearly the bone beneath and the round, terrifyingly bloody eyelid that was focused on Loki and the portion of his jaw where nothing remained._

_Loki struggled, writhing in his grip but Thor didn’t let go, instead, turned him to the side where he face Taneleer, smiling at him with his wicked face, his silver eyes mocking Loki._

_“I told you I would be back” Taneleer grinned at him, walking over._

_Loki screamed again, kicking and writhing as Thor forced him down on the bed and Taneleer arrived._

_“Guard the doors” Taneleer ordered, extending a hand to trap Loki there “Make sure no one entered”_

_Thor’s the demon, gave Loki one last glance and turned to obey and Loki shook his head, unable to speak. When Thor was out of his sight, he looked towards Taneleer, who was quickly undressing himself._

_“Excited?” he crooned “I am”_

_“No!” Loki tried to fight his magic but he held his arms down, as well at his legs “Thor!”_

_Thor didn’t come and Loki sobbed when Taneleer climbed on him, his disgusting body settling over Loki’s smothering him._

_“Stop!” Loki shouted, pulling against the magic holding him down “Stop it!”_

_“This is what he likes?” Taneleer whispered in his ear, “Your neck? Hm? He likes kissing you here?”_

_Loki squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head “No, no, get off me!”_

_His magic was gone and soon, his courage would be, too._

_A loud whimper escaped his lips when Taneleer’s lips landed on his skin._

_It was nothing like it was with Thor. This was sick, it was wrong and disgusting, it was vile!_

_“Thor!” Loki shouted_

_Taneleer placed a hand on his belly and licked up his neck, biting the spot Thor had left. He was gentle at first, but sunk his teeth in hard when Loki tried to buck his body._

_Blood seeped from Loki’s skin, Taneleer groaned as though he drank the most heavenly elixir in all the realms._

_Loki sobbed as Taneleer bit down harder and it hurt, he felt like it would be cut off._

_“Thor!” Loki screamed again, struggling with all his might._

Loki woke up with a gasp, his eyes wide, sweating, the sheets around him.

Beside him, Thor was asleep and though Loki’s throat felt raw, he hadn’t yelled out. His body was shaking, he felt _sick_ and he kicked the sheets off, reaching up to wipe the sweat off his neck.

He froze.

When his hand went over his neck, it _hurt_.

His neck was _sore_.

His heart pounding in his chest, Loki shot out of bed and rushed to the bathing chambers to look in the mirror.

His face drained of colour and a sharp, frightened cry escaped his lips.

There it was, a ring of teethmarks on his neck, right where Taneleer had bitten him in his nightmare.

It marked him, as did all the words said to him today, it marked him.

A whore, Taneleer’s little Jotun whore…

That was who he was.


	21. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There was sadness, buried so deep inside him, fear so deeply rooted that Thor felt it resonate with every breath Loki took.  
> “Try?” Thor asked softly  
> “Give me hope” Loki whispered miserably.

The morning light slipped slowly into the royal chambers, sliding slowly across the expensive marble floor to touch every item in the room delicately. It lit up the chambers as it lit the world and brought brightness to the entire kingdom.

To Loki, it brought peace.

After last night’s horrid discovery, there was no chance of sleep for him. He’d managed to heal himself, he’d managed to make it vanish but he kept touching the spot over and over. He felt it was there, he felt something cold and slimy at that spot, oozing over his skin like a disease.

His nails itched to scratch it, his body hated it and he had to force his hands down more than once.

And the torture was that he lay there, in the dark, with nothing to do but feel it. He tried to ignore it but nothing came to mind to distract him enough to do it. He wanted to scratch, he wanted to cry, he wanted to cut his skin off.

He couldn’t stand the thought of Taneleer doing that to him, he couldn’t stand it. He despised it, he despised himself for these nightmares.

Why was he still in his head when Loki had so much else to think about? Why was he the only one who occupied his head when he was asleep?

It brought tears of frustration into Loki’s eyes and despair into his spirit. It was not fair what he was going through. He had lain awake all bloody night, trying to get away from this, trying to feel sane.

Trying not to wake the gentle sweetheart next to him, who had already woken twice when Loki had given into little fits of crying.

Loki had ignored his questions, pretending to be asleep. He felt Thor near and pull him close and peace flowed through him for a few hours. But he drifted and woke again to Taneleer’s face hovering over his.

It was unbearable and when the morning settled on him, he could hardly be more thankful. Morning meant distractions. Distractions meant Loki wouldn’t see him anywhere and that meant he could have mental peace for the day.

He waited until he heard the first clattering and unlocking of doors outside, then swiftly got out of bed. He took barely five minutes in the bathroom – not wanting to linger, then put on his house robe and walked out.

He looked a mess and the staff were not used to seeing him up so early so they all stopped and stared at him, confused about what to do.

Not Olivier, though, he frowned when he saw Loki and walked over.

“My lord, are you alright?” he held out his hands as though to steady Loki “Do you need me to fetch Eir?”

Loki rubbed his swollen eyes and shook his head “Nay, I just had trouble sleeping last night”

“Would you like me to make a draught?” Olivier offered “I’ll be quick about it. It will help you wake up a little”

Loki smiled at him and gave him a nod “That would be wonderful, Olivier, thank you”

Olivier moved Loki to the soft, comfortable couches. He brought him the morning paper and Loki put his feet up, thanking him once more.

The staff went on with their cleaning, giving Loki a wide berth. He looked at the paper but read little, since his mind was fuzzy and full of that monster. He was tense and stressed, his thoughts were everywhere at the moment so he started to lose himself again.

His eyes began to droop and before Loki really knew it, his heavy head rested against the arm of the couch and he closed his eyes. The newspaper dropped from his hand and something cruel settled on his spirit.

_“Ah, my sweet” Taneleer whispered, hovering over Loki “My child, so beautiful…”_

_Loki’s heart started to pound as he lost to his nightmare and looked at the creature above him. He was in his room, on the couch, the background blurred and lost to him, the only thing in focus was Taneleer._

_His monster._

_“You removed it” Taneleer looked down at him in disapproval “Why would you do that?”_

_There was something different this time, something that made Taneleer look slightly on edge. There was madness in his eyes, of course, but there was something odd about the entire thing. Loki couldn’t put his finger on it, mostly because he was staring at Taneleer in terror._

_He couldn’t move, he couldn’t speak, he was terrified, absolutely paralysed._

_“Why do you fight when you belong to me?” Taneleer asked him, running his hands down Loki’s body “You know how this will end, child”_

_Loki’s mind fought, but his body stayed put, like he was being held down. He couldn’t even part his lips to scream._

_Taneleer hummed and let out a soft giggle as his fingers played with the ties of Loki’s robe._

_“Let’s have a little more fun than usual, aye?” he asked him._

_Loki sobbed, in his heart, in mind and soul as he felt those clammy, hand go lower and lower…_

_They tugged on his trousers and Loki wanted to scream!_

_No! No!_

_He felt that disgusting hand touch his skin, touch him where no one but Thor should be allowed and Loki **howled**._

_His fingers twitched and he felt the power of a burning spell form in his fingers, getting stronger and stronger until it frizzled out and faded away with a boom._

“Loki!”

_Taneleer stopped, he looked over his shoulder and in the fuzzy, misted background, a blonde shape ran forth. An angry growl escaped Taneleer’s lips as he looked not at the shape, but something else, something far off._

_“I told you not to disturb me!” Taneleer shouted._

_His angry voice scared Loki and he looked over his shoulder to another presence in the room, another strong, powerful creature._

_Taneleer spoke in a language Loki didn’t understand, his slimy hands were still upon him, Loki was still paralyzed, he was still looming over him, far too close._

_They fought and yelled, then Taneleer growled and looked back at Loki, his face so angry Loki thought he would kill him._

_Good, he thought, maybe he would be left alone._

_But all Taneleer did was sigh and stroke his cheek with his disgusting hand, touched his neck and his lips, pulling his lower one down just enough to slip the tip of his thumb inside…_

Loki could watch this unfold in silence and then Taneleer was gone, he was off him. A blessed freedom fell on him and the nightmare was over.

Loki gasped as he sat up, thick hands around his shoulders holding him tight.

“No!” Loki yelled, struggling and kicking “Get off, don’t touch me!”

He heard a pained grunt, which encouraged him and he punched and hit and fought.

“Loki!”

He gasped when he was pushed down and the world focused. His green eyes were wide and he looked up, stunned, when he saw Thor looking down at him, panting heavily. There was a gash above his eyebrow, one on his lip, blood seeping from it. His hair fell over his face, his expression was worried and he held him down, looking just as frightened as Loki.

They looked at one another uncertainly for a few seconds, then Loki sat up slowly and Thor backed away. His blue eyes were filled with worry and Loki’s were looking around, at the staff, who all looked spooked.

“Loki…” Thor whispered softly, reaching out to touch his cheek “Are you alright?”

The staff stood still, Olivier stood still, all of them shocked.

And it was then that Loki saw it – the hole in the wall behind Thor, blasted had by cruel magic, blackened and showing clearly the bricks and cement that built this palace. It still smoked and steam rose from it.

He felt Thor touch his jaw again and make him look back.

“It’s alright” he said softly, pulling Loki closer “It’s alright, I’m here”

Loki’s lips moved to speak but no sound came out and Thor placed a hand behind his head.

“Wrap your arms around my shoulders” Thor whispered to him “Go on”

Loki raised his shaking hands and put them around Thor’s neck and he felt Thor’s hands cupped his thighs.

It made him feel blessed that his trousers were not pulled down, it was a fear he didn’t even realize he had until then.

A soft gasp escaped him, full of relief.

“It’s alright” Thor told him as he hoisted him up “I’m taking you to the balcony, aye? We’ll sit under the sun for breakfast”

Loki said nothing but he saw. He saw the servants stare, he saw Olivier stare, he saw the mess he’d made of the wall.

He saw and he knew.

He was going mad.

They might not say it, but Loki knew. He knew what they thought, why they avoided his gaze as they set their table and chairs for them on the balcony, why Thor held him so tightly, why he whispered so lovingly, why even Olivier kept his voice low.

He was seated carefully by Thor once everything was done and a few orders were given out that Loki didn’t hear.

The mug of tea was placed before him without a word but a thousand insults came with it. The sun shined down on them but Loki was in a dark, cruel place, locked there, never to be released.

Even as he felt Thor’s comforting hand on his back and felt his comforting presence around him, Loki felt insane. He felt trapped, he felt watched.

His hands were still shaking and he saw Thor’s reflection in the glass table top, watching him with worry and anxiety. His blue eyes were fixed on Loki’s hands, watching the shaking fingers, way it jostled the cup as he reached out just to touch it.

Loki pulled his hands back, placing them in his lap and Thor pulled his seat closer.

“Let me help.”

“No, Thor, please…” Loki looked at him, his expression devastated.

He didn’t want to be treated like he was something frail or damaged, he didn’t want to be treated as incapable.

And Thor knew that.

“Just because I am helping you does not mean you can’t do it yourself” Thor dragged his chair right beside Loki and looked into his eyes “It’s a privilege of being your husband, to care for you”

Loki, shame filled him because of it, felt his eyes prickle “I’m not crippled…”

“I know, Loki” Thor said tenderly, reaching over to stroke his jaw “I just wish to help”

Loki looked at him, at his face, the damage Loki had done before he woke. The wounds were cleaned and would heal over but Loki still put them there, he still caused it.

He didn’t exactly say it, but Thor saw that Loki would allow him to help. He pulled back and picked the cup, bringing it to set against Loki’s lip.

“Easy, it’s really hot”

Loki blinked to let him know he heard and blew on the tea before he took a sip.

It was soothing, warm and gentle to his stomach so he felt that make him feel better. His eyes closed and Thor put it back on the table when Loki pulled away.

The soft clatter that came from Thor setting it back down on the table sounded between them, breaking the silence.

“Darling, what happened?” Thor asked softly

“You know what happened” Loki looked at the table

“No, I don’t and till you tell me, I won’t” Thor said “Loki, you were screaming, you hit me, you threw magic at me and you wouldn’t stop screaming. What is going on?”

“I don’t know what is going on, stop asking me” Loki snapped “You can’t fix it, no one can, Thor, so drop it”

Thor’s lips tightened and he sat back while Loki turned to anger rather than fear.

“You can’t fix everything, Thor!” Loki told him “You can’t save everyone, especially not me. There is no enemy here for you to bash with your hammer, it’s all in my head, these are nightmares, you cannot fight them.”

“I can try” Thor said calmly

“Well it won’t help!” Loki pushed his chair back and stood “Nothing will help, no one can help me, Thor! It’s in my mind, it’s not something that we can see, so don’t…”

He broke off, lowering his voice as he became aware of the servants’ stares.

“So don’t …” Loki tried again.

There was sadness, buried so deep inside him, fear so deeply rooted that Thor felt it resonate with every breath Loki took.

“Try?” Thor asked softly

“Give me hope” Loki whispered miserably.

He looked small and he looked scared. He wanted to scratch his skin off but he was determined not to.

Thor exhaled softly and got to his feet, taking a step closer to Loki. His hands touched Loki’s shaking ones and Loki immediately pulled them back, hiding them under his arms.

It broke Thor’s heart and he wrapped his arms around Loki.

“Darling, you’re shaking” he rubbed his back

“I can’t stop” Loki said “I can’t stop…”

Thor clicked his tongue and sighed, setting his mouth on Loki’s shoulder.

The way Loki shook and the fear in his voice made his heart bounce painfully inside his chest. There had to be a sanctuary for Loki somewhere.

This couldn’t last much longer.

***

It lasted much longer than either of them thought.

Thor had taken Loki to Bestla, then Odin when she couldn’t find a curse or spell on him. The King was quick to get the sorcerers out of their hermit lives to look Loki over, but there was no sign of a spell on him, nothing to indicate that someone was doing this to him.

But Loki knew. He knew Taneleer was doing this to him, he knew he was the one who was driving him insane. He knew his torture well enough. He knew his techniques, this had his fingerprints all over it.

It had his horrible scent all over it. Loki could smell it and it made him sick.

The sorcerers and Odin himself tested him more than once, as many time as Loki insisted.

Thor saw hopelessness drown Loki with every word they said, with their assurances that he was fine, there was no spell upon him.

Loki didn’t want to believe there was nothing wrong with him. He wanted to believe there was, he wanted to believe that someone was doing this to him.

He didn’t want to realize that he himself was dreaming of that creature on a daily basis.

Odin let Thor stay, watching the entire process as Loki was examined over and over. He just wasn’t ready to let reality seep in just yet. They didn’t force it on him, from what it looked like, Loki would realize it soon enough himself.

He had, of course, Thor had seen it happen with his own eyes, the way the light went out of Loki’s and his hands began to shake.

Thor was beside him in an instant, supporting him as much as he could without overwhelming him. For his part, Loki hid his disappointment and shock well. He listened to what the sorcerers and the King said, wrote down a few sleeping spells to help him and promised to try.

Afterwards, Thor felt Loki nudge his side as they walked back and the blonde put an arm around him. He knew Loki was tense and he had every right to be. But he tensed further, like his muscles seized up, when they neared the room.

There were construction supplies and workers setting up to fix the blasted wall.

Thor deftly turned them around and headed another direction.

Loki had asked where they were headed and Thor didn’t answer because he himself didn’t know. He just wanted to take Loki out of here.

He’d ended up taking him on a ride through the gardens.

They rode on one horse, Thor behind Loki, soaking in the Aesir sun. it was warm and it painted Loki a beautiful shade of gold, the sun highlighting the faint marks on his skin that Thor loved to trace with his lips. They were stunning in his light and he carefully pulled Loki back to rest against him.

Loki let him, his body tired.

He set his head on Thor’s shoulder and the prince kissed his cheek

“Do you want to sleep?” Thor asked “I can have a place set for us under the trees, it’s cool enough”

Loki nodded once and closed his eyes “A little sleep would be good”

“Alright, dear heart” Thor turned the horse a little, headed to the private garden Loki so loved.

He saw a guard and signalled him to send a servant over. Once the lad arrived, Thor instructed him to get two thick pallets and an entire picnic for them.

His orders were quickly tended to and Thor rode around in circles because Loki was starting to relax completely against him.

By the time the things he asked for arrived, Thor had a calm, stress free Jotun sleeping on him. He let him, Loki needed this rest so Thor waited until everything was set up and the servants were at a distance before he wrapped his arms around Loki and slowly manoeuvred him in a way that he could easily carry him off the horse.

He kicked his feet out of the stirrups and hopped gracefully off the noble animal, then let it go where it pleased. The pallets were soft, decorated with soft sheets and blankets, the air was cool and calming, the smell of flowers as magical around them.

Thor lay Loki on the pallet and lay beside him, holding him in his arms. Loki didn’t move, he didn’t stir and more importantly, he didn’t wake screaming and scared.

When the sun got slightly over whelming, Thor covered them with clouds and when the heat picked up, he downed it with cooling wind, making it comfortable for everyone, not just them, in Asgard.

The gentle noises of the outside and Loki in his grasp lulled Thor too. It was calming and  Loki’s presence was a sweet press against him.

He didn’t know when he fell asleep, but he knew he had Loki with him and nothing mattered more at that moment. His body lost the terseness it had ever since they started the day and he dozed off right next to Loki.

The air around them stayed cool as well and more than once the servants came over to check if they wanted anything. They still lingered, talking and chatting and snacking as they stood to the sides, awaiting further instruction.

They were still lost in their friendly chat when they saw both the Queen and Second Prince make their way towards them. They each had a platter of breakfast in their hands and were casually walking over to where the unsuspecting lovers slept.

Bestla, the grand woman, was dressed in a wonderfully bright gown and her red hair was pulled back into a bun while Balder was wearing much more muted colours, his eyes intently on his grandmother as she talked.

“I saw them with my own two eyes” Bestla smiled at him “Hand in hand, walking down the halls. Of course I immediately sent for Eyvindr but the boy took so long to arrive they had already left. I told him to find and follow, then report to me here. I just hope it’s true. I haven’t seen Odin this happy in a long time”

“Aye” Balder smirked “He does have some life in him, yes. But he as with Loki a while back, perhaps they went their different ways. We should leave them be”

Bestla made a face “My dear, as his mother I cannot let that happen. I have a need to know”

“This need of yours can be quite annoying, did you know?” Balder asked

“If I cared whether other people thought me annoying or not, I wouldn’t be the scandalous old woman you see next to you”

Balder conceded with a nod “You have a point there”

He looked towards the garden they were heading to and chuckled when he saw it already occupied.

“Pray tell” he said “What will you do about the two strangers in our place?”

Bestla frowned and looked, snickering softly when she saw them “Oh, leave them be. They had a hard day today.”

“Oh?” Balder asked “How so?”

“Loki’s been having nightmares about that creature” Bestla said “He was awake all night, terrorised and this morning he almost blew Thor’s head off in fear. Poor thing is scared and so is Thor.”

Balder frowned “That’s terrible. Have the palace mages helped?”

“They tried as far as I know” Bestla said “I don’t exactly know what happened”

They stopped a little ways off, watching the two sleep.

“Come” Bestla nudged Balder “We shall prepare a surprise for Loki. I fear he thinks he has no one other than Thor here”

That was true, in a way. Even though he sympathized, Balder didn’t actively want to spend time with Loki. There was just nothing in common between them.

“Surprise?” Balder asked, already thinking of ways to skip it “What do you have in mind?”

“Just a little dinner with the family and a few important royaly.” Bestla pulled him with her “Something to officially and completely welcome Loki into our home. I fear we haven’t exactly been kind to him in that regard”

“He hasn’t given us time to be kind” Balder defended.

“We shouldn’t be given time to be kind, dear” Bestla said, looping her am with his “Now come, we have a delicious feast to plan”

Balder looked up towards the skies and groaned, trying to get someone to help him. But he knew other than the clouds, no one was listening to him so he gave himself up.

As he walked away with Bestla, he didn’t realize he was wrong – there was someone watching, someone listening and his lecherous smile only widened.

The scrying bowl upon the table responded to his touches and he moved away from the aerial view he had to focus on Loki, on his pretty face and the sweet way he breathed. There were no nightmares behind his eyes now, no torture he could see. There was peace and nothing else, so for now he let him enjoy.

Tonight, however, he was going to have his fun..

He settled down to watch Loki, stroking his face over the water in the bowl. He knew Loki felt it, he responded to it with a frown, the cold feeling that went down his cheek – it was beautiful to Taneleer but to Loki, it was something else.

Taneleer Tivan smiled at Loki and Thor, both of them laying unaware of his plans. He truly liked watching them like this, second only to watching them have sex.

Norns be damned, did the muscles on Thor’s back move well. It was like art and the faces Loki made were divine.

He was going to get that for himself soon enough, touch and see as he wanted.

He just had to wait.

Taneleer licked his lips and thought about what he could do that didn’t involve Loki waking up when his door opened again.

He looked up in irritation, hating the fact that his new guest had the authority his servants lacked.

“A knock would be welcome, you know” Taneleer said dryly, knowing it was hopeless.

His guest hummed and looked at him “I grow impatient. When do we go to Asgard?”

His voice was deep and for the past week, Taneleer had heard much of it.

He was tall, his face pale, his eyes dark with evil and a sinister aura Taneleer rarely saw. His long white hair was bound back, his armour old and black.

He was a demon, hibernating and waiting for a chance to wake, his evil swirled inside him awakening only when Taneleer came to his territory. He was lethal, he was faceless and terrifyingly focused on what he wanted.

Taneleer sometimes wondered how he could kill him if he wasn’t useful to him.

He was cold, born in the darkness that he took over.

Named rightly the leader of the Dark Elves.

Malekith was not someone to be taken lightly. Taneleer knew that the moment they met, the moment he offered him a chance to get the Aether. The moment Malekith agreed to help him in return for the Aether.

He was cruel and deadly, he was like a sword an enemy was unaware of until it was too late.

He was a monster.

And he had allied with Taneleer to get what he wanted.

Taneleer acted casually around him but he was always on guard, he knew not to trifle with him too much or it could end badly.

He licked his lips and gave him a false smile

“We go whenever you want, dearie” he cooed

Malekith’s pale face turned disgusted and he looked away, then back to the bowl set before Taneleer.

“I didn’t give you dark magic to become a voyeur” he said “I did it so you could look into Asgard undetected and find the Aether”

“What I do with the gifts you gave me are my business” Taneleer beamed “Yours is to be patient until I get you to Asgard. The time is soon, worry not”

Malekith sighed and shook his head “I need sufficient time to prepare. Give me a deadline”

Taneeler rolled his eyes “A week, aye? Is that good enough?”

“Yes, that will suffice”

Taneleer grinned “Excellent. Now close the door on your way out”

Malekith snarled at him, the dirty creature and sighed, shaking his head. It was no use to talk to this one more than he needed.

All he wanted was the Aether.

And Thor Odinson.

***

Loki splashed his face with cold water as he bent over the sink.

Ruben was sitting next to him watching him, indifferent to his suffering, as usual. He had no time for emotions such as sympathy, they were wasted efforts.

Behind Loki, still in the tub and rinsing his hair out one last time after their bath, Thor looked at the cat.

“He’s plotting to kill you”

Loki smiled and looked at him over his bare shoulder “Why do you hate my cat?”

Thor scoffed “That’s not a cat”

“Oh? Then what is he?” Loki turned to face Thor and smirked when Thor’s eyes went from his feet, up his legs, past the towel around his waist to study his abs, his chest, shoulders…

He could feel the heat of Thor’s gaze on him.

Thor didn’t answer his question, he sat up straighter and looked into Loki’s eyes.

“Come here” he ordered.

Grinning, a sway to his hips that hadn’t been there before, Loki sauntered his way over, standing just out of Thor’s reach.

“You know we have a dinner to attend, don’t you?”

“I don’t think I care much about that right now” Thor moved to yank him into the tub “Come here”

Loki smiled and stepped back “Nay, I think I will redress”

“Loki …” Thor whined “Come back”

Loki only smiled and turned, walking away, aware of the gaze on his rear. And, being who he was, he whipped his towel off just as he turned and vanished outside the door.

Thor’s gasp of arousal was very beautifully enjoyed by him indeed.

Loki heard him come out of the tub and splash his way towards him as Loki went to the wardrobe.

He was fully intent on keeping his drama up and he opened the door, reaching in just as Thor was barely a foot away from him.

He was expecting to be grabbed and yanked away.

Just not from inside the wardrobe.

A slimy, cold hand grabbed his forearm from within, the skin pale white, the hand wet. Loki’s face turned horrified as he stared at the hand in terror, knowing whose it was.

There was a choked cry of fear from him and he was pulled harshly into the dark wardrobe.

He heard Thor’s shocked shouting behind him as he was pulled, naked and his world spun, there was nothing solid around him, no light, no air, no breath, nothing.

There was nothing there.

His heart raced too fast, his eyes couldn’t focus, all he felt was that hand and all he saw was darkness. Fear clenched his throat shut and he clawed at the hand like a madman, his nails digging into the skin, scratching the flesh, making it bleed.

A shout of pain, then light all around him.

Loki grunted as he fell hard on the marble floor, dazed and confused, scared and alarmed. He didn’t know where he was but the air was cool and there was … music?

Confusion misted his mind, he didn’t know where he was. The air was cooler, voices echoed amid sharp intakes of breath, footsteps startled and stopped, he could smell food…

Too late, Loki looked up at the sharp, shocked gasps, too late he realized that he was out in the open, too late he realized that there were people around him.

The music came to a stunned stop, Loki’s heart followed when he looked up and saw them.

Guests

Dozens of them, dressed their very best, surrounding him as he fell between them on the dance floor, stark naked. On the dais behind them, the royal family, around them, further away but still staring at him, gawking at him openly were servants, courtiers, nobles, merchants…

Murmurs started around him and someone giggled. Loki backed away from them like a frightened animal, his magic frizzled in his shaking hands, his skin dragged on the floor.

They all began to talk at once, the loud noise suddenly becoming deafening around him. Someone pushed their chair back with a loud shriek, their footsteps thumping as they got closer and closer.

His world broke then as where he was, what happened, what was done, fell on him

And Loki let out a howl of agony, startling everyone and scaring the few who came over to help. Someone came to place a cape over him and the moment he did, Loki closed his eyes and concentrated.

There were shocked gasps as green smoke enveloped Loki, hiding him from them all. There was a soft boom, then the smoke dissipated, leaving the dance floor clear where he had been.

The smoke reappeared a few moments later back upstairs, in their room, on the bed, the whirling, swirling sounds making Thor turn from where he was dressing, clearly ready to look for Loki.

He paled when he saw Loki on the bed, amid the faded smoke, curled up, his face in the bedding.

“Loki, oh thank the norns!” he gasped, running over, his shirt open, trousers done up wrong in his haste and his feet bare “What happened?”

A loud, painful sob answered him and Thor froze. His heart pounded in his chest and the worst possible scenarios went through his mind.

“L-Loki?” he gently placed a hand on his shoulder.

“I can’t stand it!” Loki shoved his hand off “I can’t take anymore, I can’t take it!”

Thor pulled back as Loki shook his head.

“I’m going insane, I’m losing my mind, I can’t do this …” Loki punched the bedding over and over “I can’t handle this…”

“Well, you’re going to, my pet!”

Two rough hands grabbed him around the shoulders and forced him on his back. His eyes widened when he saw Taneleer hovering over him, just as naked as Loki was. His slimy, sluggy body was over Loki’s and he smiled at him, his hands holding Loki’s wrists down beside his head.

“You think you can run from me, my plaything?” Taneleer smiled “I have magic you couldn’t even dream of possessing.”

Loki’s breathing began to stutter when he felt magic curl around his ankles and slowly pull them apart.

“No…” Loki shook his head, his voice shaking “No, no, get off me!!”

Taneleer laughed and lowered his head, rubbing his swelling erection against Loki’s channel.

“You want to get wet for me?” Taneleer asked “Come on, Loki, you can do it, imagine it’s your beloved Thor.”

Loki tried to pull his hands free, tried to get at his magic but it was like Taneleer had a foot on it, stopping it even as he could feel it.

“Go to hell” Loki rasped, tensing his body.

He didn’t let it show how terrified he was, he didn’t let it show how cruelly his fear wrapped its hand around his throat.

Taneleer giggled “How adorable, I love the fear in your eyes”

He let Loki’s wrists go and they stayed there, leaving Taneleer free to do as he wanted. He ran his hands down Loki’s body, touching his sides and kissing down his chest.

“I’ll make you sick” Taneleer told him “I’ll fill you up so much you’ll leak when you walk, I will brand you … much like this…”

He licked the brand on Loki’s hip, then bit it hard, making Loki grit his teeth. Tears spilled down the sides of his face and he kept his mouth tightly shut.

This was a dream, it was a dream, it was a dream…

Loki just had to wake up.

Taneleer smiled and licked over his belly, ignoring how Loki twitched and tried to throw him off.

“You’re so beautiful like this” he said “Crying, whining, thinking you are dreaming”

The smile fell off his face and Taneleer reached up to grab his jaw and turned it to the side. Loki’s eyes widened in horror when he saw Thor prone on the ground, his head twisted to an impossible angle.

Dead

A scream ripped from Loki’s throat and Taneleer laughed in delight.

“Scream for me, my darling” he laughed “Scream, my sweet, wet little slut, scream!”

And Loki did.

He arched his neck and screamed.

Taneleer slapped him across the face, sitting astride him, touching himself.

“Keep screaming” he ordered, stroking his arousal, panting heavily, flushed and disgusting.

He grunted as he stroked himself, then licked his hand and ran it down Loki’s face, which made him feel absolutely violated. When Loki turned his head away he grabbed his jaw and made him look at him.

“Yes… watch me…” he cooed.

Loki had no choice and he could only stare at this thing as it stroked itself into completion and released its spend all over Loki.

Loki wailed in rage and disgust, tensing his body as he was tied down, bucking, screaming, and fighting. He felt it hit him, his belly, his chest and he felt a few choked sobs escape his throat.

Taneleer giggled at him and pulled away.

“Later, my princess” he winked at him.

Loki’s world turned black, like he’d just closed his eyes, then just as quickly, it vanished. He felt someone over him, touching his shoulder and he cried out, turning and lashing out, ready to kill.

A strong grip held his wrist, stopping the attack and Loki found himself looking into Thor’s beautiful blue eyes.

They were wide and shocked as he sat next to him, looking at him with fear and confusion in his expression. Loki’s breathing was stuttered and he slowly looked around, then down at himself, paling when he saw the spend on his belly.

A whimper escaped him and Thor was pulling him close.

“Loki” he whispered “What did he do to you?”

Loki was shaking and he squeezed his eyes shut before his hands held Thor tightly. He couldn’t take it and yanked himself away from Thor, taking the sheets with him as he went to the bathroom.

“Loki, wait!”

Thor went after him but Loki slammed the door shut. He locked it and Thor stamped down his panic. In his state, Thor didn’t like that Loki was alone and stayed outside, his hand flat on the door.

He heard the bath running and he heard Loki get in and that was when he slowly pushed the door open.

The sheets were laying on the floor at Thor’s feet and before him, in the tub, bent over, his head on his knees, Loki sat in the water again.

He was shaking so much the water never stopped rippling and Thor clicked his tongue and went to him. Carefully, so that he didn’t scare him, he placed a hand on his back.

He expected Loki to pull away but all Loki did was tip to the side and lean against the tub. Thor needed no further signal and put his arm around him and his other hand cradled Loki’s head to his chest as he pressed as close as he could to his lover.

Loki sniffed and watched two tears fall into the water below.

“What’s happening to me?” he asked “What is happening…?”

Pain swirled inside Thor like a storm, an evil hurricane, taking his breath away. He didn’t know what was happening to Loki or how to fix it. He didn’t even know how to protect him from it.

“I don’t know” Thor whispered against his hair, holding him close “But it will get better, Loki, please don’t let it get to you, I beg you, sweetheart, please”

Loki couldn’t promise, hell he couldn’t even think how was he to promise?

But he nodded, more for Thor than himself.

Thor still had a chance at life, Loki was likely doomed.

***

_The door to the room opened slowly and gasped as he looked up._

_He was tied to the bed in the darkness, his wrists bound before his face, a torment where he could see them but couldn’t undo them._

_He saw nothing but he heard footsteps, getting closer and closer, he felt a presence, felt an evil right behind him._

_It touched his shoulder and he gasped, curling up, turning his face into the pillows as it climbed over him._

_His hands were cold and slimy on Loki’s body and Taneleer smiled._

_“Oh, don’t be like that…” he sang, his hand elongating and wrapping around Loki’s thigh “I won’t hurt you much…”_

_He lifted his thigh and Loki sobbed as he felt his hard flesh prod him again._

He woke up screaming that night and scared Thor badly.

He cried into his arms, begging him to do something and Thor couldn’t. He couldn’t.

Even Heimdall was unable to see that monster, Thor wanted nothing more than to kill him.

Yet, all he had was his rage and the comfort he gave Loki.

“Please make it stop…” Loki cried at the height of his despair “Make it stop, make it stop…”

Thor’s eyes filled with tears and he cradled Loki’s head to him, whispering apologies to him. He tried to comfort them both with his words.

“It will get better” he said “You’ll put it behind you…”

***

Loki couldn’t put it behind him. And it didn’t get better – it got worse.

It didn’t even take a week for the rumours and stories to spread about Loki appearing naked as a babe in the middle of the feast planned for him, ruining it for everyone.

Odin had vanished right after Loki had, so had Bestla, having a meeting with Thor when Loki was finally asleep.

Thor hadn’t let them near Loki, hadn’t let them look at him and explained everything.

He’d been horrified at seeing the mark on his hip, the sick, disgusting spend on him and he told them. He told them they were wrong and that something dark was doing this to Loki, something evil and cruel, something that they couldn’t detect even with their vast knowledge of magic.

This posed a threat not only for Loki, but for Asgard as well and Thor saw Odin realize it, too.

He told him to keep an eye on Loki and leave this to him. He will make it a priority and do whatever he could to find out how to stop it.

They already knew who was responsible.

Thor felt slightly easier, knowing his father was taking lead on this, but it was wiped away when they left and he went to his room.

Loki sat on the bed, back straight, eyes scared.

They locked on Thor the moment he entered because Loki was looking right at him, his eyes far too wide, far too scared.

Thor had frowned when he realized that Loki was looking at something behind him. His body tensed for battle and Thor prepared himself, turning slowly, ready to murder whoever was standing there.

Nothing

No one

The place behind him was empty and when Thor looked back at him, Loki had his face in his hands, his back bowed in defeat.

He’d taken him into his arms then, held him close, kissed him and didn’t let go until Loki was asleep again.

He stayed unaware of how Loki flinched and bit back his scream when he woke at night and saw a figure bent over him, eyeless, faceless, hair over its featureless face, wet grime, staring at him.

Loki had shrunk into Thor, felt his arms wrap around him and felt tears spill down his cheeks. The thing stayed where it was, clothes tattered and dirty, hands by its side, just watching Loki.

He tried to push magic at it but it didn’t move, it didn’t affect him and Loki couldn’t sleep that night.

It shifted, never moving away from him, once he managed to doze off, only to wake with the thing floating right above him, looking at him.

It didn’t leave.

And in the morning, it stayed in dark corners, always in Loki’s sight. He’d gone pale and withdrawn, he couldn’t speak because whenever he did the thing looked at him and kept looking.

His hands wouldn’t stop shaking and Thor had helped him with his breakfast, which Loki hated.

He hated being crippled, he hated being helpless.

He felt his head would explode with what he felt, with everything that happened, all around him, monsters and demons lurked, he felt them squeezing the breath from him, taking his sanity piece by piece.

And this was what the rumours were brought into.

Silent suffering.

Thor had set down the cup he was helping Loki drink from when Eyvindr arrived, looking uncharacteristically tense. He smiled and bowed to Thor and Loki, then headed right to Olivier, his gaze hooded as he whispered to him and talked softly.

Olivier’s own eyes widened and he placed a hand on Eyvindr’s arm, then nodded. Odin’s valet once more bowed to them and walked out, leaving Olivier be.

Thor tried not to let it bother him and focused on caring for Loki, who had gone as silent as the stars.

Once their meal was finished, Thor pulled Loki up.

The thing, the wraith followed and Loki’s eyes were fixed on it, watery and unable to move away. This time, the spectre walked over, swaying from side to side as it took each step closer. It was behind Thor as he approached and Loki’s breathing accelerated.

He let out a frightened whimper and quickly moved away from Thor, startling the prince. The demonic presence stopped.

Then it retreated to the corner and Loki realized what it wanted.

He let out a moan of despair and placed a hand over his mouth, doubling over in pain.

He heard Thor step forward and saw the creature walk towards him too and he jumped back.

“Don’t touch me!” Loki screamed, he _screamed_ “You’re making it worse, no, please don’t touch me…”

His voice broke at the end and he fell to his knees, shaking his head.

“You’re making it worse…”

Thor’s expression turned heartbroken as he stood there, stunned and at a loss.

What was happening to his Loki?

Loki’s sad, hunched over, defeated form shook with sobs. Thor stood heat broken and Olivier stood mid approach, unsure of what to do and how to help them both.

They watched Loki hold his stomach and double over, resting his head on the floor, moaning in agony. Thor couldn’t take it, he really couldn’t.

He looked at Olivier and nodded

“Get my grandmother” he said softly.

The valet was relieved and ran as fast as he could to get the Elder Queen.

Bestla, of course, didn’t waste a moment and arrived within five minutes, tailed by Frigga and Odin.

They saw Loki and much like Thor, their hearts broke at his state. This was not fair, Loki did not deserve this.

“Ssh…” Bestla knelt beside him and placed her hands on his shoulders.

She was startled when Loki turned and pulled her close, hiding his face in her gentle shoulder. He was shaking and trembling, then he kept looking at a spot in the room, he could see it.

The spectre was still there, in its spot, eyes on Loki.

Bestla rubbed his back and kissed his hair “Get up, darling, come on, I will take you to my parlour, alright?”

Loki looked at Thor, who was watching him, the desire to go to him so desperate it was a pain. But the second he looked at Thor, the demon in the corner shifted and Loki turned away again.

He screamed and begged something to get off him that night as well, pulling at the sheets, fighting them, screaming and breaking apart with every breath.

Whenever Thor got close, it got worse, Loki begged him not to come to him, then locked himself in Bestla’s parlour, scaring them all.

He saw that creature stay with him all night, he saw Taneleer there too, holding him down, touching, feeling, prodding, pushing, hitting.

Thor tried taking him to his chambers but Loki screamed to be let out instantly, fighting and hitting Thor when he held him, blowing him aside with his magic and begging Olivier to take him away.

He couldn’t be here.

He couldn’t be with Thor.

Torture, it was pure torture.

Not just for Loki, but Thor as well. Watching him leave like that, watching his eyes so terrified, he couldn’t take it.

But he had to.

Just like he had to do something about this entire affair.

Just like he had to put an end to the word spread about Loki.

***

“Shameful, really, disgraceful display. What Asgard has fallen to, fist wedding Prince Thor to that thing then letting it parade around naked, like the savage it is.”

“You were there?” gasped a lady in the public seating area of the palace “You saw it?”

“Aye, I, too, found myself looking at it” a gentleman spoke “covered in lines and scars. I wonder what they stand to gain with this union”

“Far be it for me to suggest” an older lady of their group spoke “But they should behead it and toss it aside before it take his seed”

“I heard it already took that whore seller’s, Norns know how many diseases it has”

Their voices joined the many in the public verandas of the palace, the high ranking nobility and gentry from last night were attending and the well off people had bought tickets to the high tea so they could gossip and spend time with the visiting aristocrats.

The money from the tickets would do to charity and their public philanthropy didn’t want to miss a chance.

Of course, since word spread of what happened last month, the tickets were the most valuable thing to those who sought gossip and there were thrice  as many people there than originally expected. The ones who had been at the ball and had unfortunately seen him were getting their fame and eating it with both hands.

Those who hadn’t been there were listening intently, eager to hear about the secret Jotun Thor kept in his chambers.

A true whore in their opinion. Here, in Asgard, tainting their world.

Their words were poison and flitted through the room to the servants, making them listen intently so they too could spread it around later at their homes and their own circles.

Gossip was almost always appreciated.

Of course there were a few who neither liked gossip nor what these people talked about.

It was sad that in a room of hundreds only two of these existed.

At a table not far from the gossiping gaggles, Eyvindr sat with Lady Amora, both of them having bought tickets and were intent on enjoying the delicious food and tea.

Of course that had been ruined and now they sat together, listening to the garbage these cretins spilled.

Amora scoffed and turned away when one very crude monster started to describe Loki’s anatomy in great detail. It burned her on the inside and she set her cup down with an angry clatter.

Eyvindr, sitting before her, sighed at him “My lady, leave them be. Do not sour your mood over them”

“Vermin” Amora snarled “makes me want to turn all of them into insects so I can crush them”

Eyvindr sighed “Me too. I do think it is more difficult for you since you actually have the ability to do it”

Amora raised a perfect brow at him “You are aware of my frustration then?”

“Very” Eyvindr said, picking up his teacup and drinking delicately.

He barely flinched when a woman who had been talking badly about Loki for the entirety of her dining, suddenly screamed when her table exploded. It shook the air around them and everyone except Amora turned to look.

Even Eyvindr spared them a glance as chaos reigned.

Everyone sitting beside her, screamed in shock and servers ran over, checking to see if she was alright or not.

Plates clattered and chairs scraped as everyone who was drenched stood to right themselves and a manager came over to smooth things over with the paying customers.

Eyvindr snickered and looked at Amora, who was immensely pleased with herself.

“Feeling better, lady?” he asked, smirking

“I am” Amora smiled

The chaos slowly faded and the subject shifted from Loki to the table explosion. Chatter immediately started and the woman quickly found herself famous in the room.

Eyvindr laughed and enjoyed the gossip before they ordered themselves a batch of scones.

As they shared, Amora turned her attention to the man before him.

“So” she said “Forget this nasty business and tell me about your nasty business”

And Eyvindr, Odin would have paid to see, blushed “Tis no business yet, my lady”

“You’re blushing” Amora gasped “Tell me everything”

Eyvindr laughed, blushing even brighter “It’s barely anything, but … we … he took me to dinner, lady, to a tavern that is it”

Amora huffed “That is not all. Tell me what happened, I want to know what happened to my one match making attempt”

Eyvindr looked at her and smiled slowly “He kissed me”

“Ooh” Amora gasped “The graceful, beautiful Olivier can kiss? Is he any good?”

“He’s amazing” Eyvindr flushed, placing his hands on his face

Amora laughed “Oh, look at you, all shy and sweet!”

She grinned at him, teasing him mercilessly about his new love affair. She wanted details, which, for once, he didn’t want to give. His face was red, his voice shy and it only turned worse for him when they headed back and Olivier, graceful and put together, came to bow to them.

“Lady Amora” he greeted, then bowed to Eyvindr “Sir Eyvindr”

“Lord Olivier”

Amora looked between the two and slowly stepped aside.

“I should … go do something vague, I don’t remember what it was”

Eyvindr waved at her then turned to Olivier, his cheeks heating up.

“How are you?”

Olivier looked around, then once he was secure in is belief that they were alone and Amora was gone, he reached up to stroke Eyvindr’s cheek.

“I enjoyed last night” Olivier whispered “Will you join me tonight for dinner in my chambers?”

“Tonight?” Eyvindr found it difficult to think when Olivier touched him “I – I think I can, if – if the king allows”

“He will allow” Olivier said

With one last look around, he moved closer and Eyvindr’s heart pounded in anticipation when Olivier leaned closer to kiss him, pressing him against the wall.

But the kiss never came.

Instead, Eyvindr gasped when the thick, cold edge of a blade was pressed against his throat. He tensed, his body going cold as he looked at Olivier, shock and fear on his face.

No, not Olivier, this was something else.

The creature smiled, the illusion upon it fading a little.

“Take me to Prince Thor’s chambers” the villain snarled “Otherwise your pretty little lover gets his throat sliced open”

Eyvindr paled and shook his head “N-No, please…”

“Cease your whimpers” the monster ordered “Take me there, now!”

Tears formed in the valet’s eyes and he nodded, his hands raised to show compliance. He still couldn’t stop the loud cry that escaped him when the thing grabbed him by the collar and shoved him forward.

“Keep walking” it said, walking with his blade at the small of his back “Take me past the wards they put up against my magic”

Eyvindr nodded shakily as he was taken through the halls. The guards were changing shifts, this monster had chosen a great time.

As they walked, he felt his eyes on him and resisted the urge to shudder.

The creature in disguise smiled.

“You’re pretty” he cooed “Perhaps I can take you as one of my Children one day”

Eyvindr stumbled in horror and felt the knife poke him, making him walk again. He knew who this was, what this was and what it wanted.

A monster, the worst in the realms, this was Taneleer Tivan.

And Norns only knew what he did to Olivier.

“Y-You’re him” he gasped “Taneleer.”

He felt a laugh beside him and realized he was being taken to Loki.

“You’re smart, I bet he told everyone how much he hates me, when in truth he loves what I do”

“You’re a demon” Eyvindr said “Everyone knows you, you can’t escape here”

“I got in, didn’t I?” Taneleer mocked “I can get out. Now keep moving”

He prayed that someone see him or help him, a few guards looked his way but one twist from the blade had him keeping his mouth shut. Olivier was in danger, he didn’t know what to do but listen for now.

The Royal Apartments were so easy for Eyvindr to get to and he feared this was why Taneleer came after him. He had access almost everywhere.

They entered the halls and Eyvindr kept his back straight. He was pale, shaking and scared, so that was bound to be noticed, which he was counting on.

When he reached the doors, he raised his hand to open the door when it clicked open from inside.

“Ah, Olivier” Thor smiled, looking tired and exhausted “You’re back, perfect, could you…”

He broke off, frowning when he saw Eyvindr, saw his face, then the arm behind him.

He moved faster than Eyvindr thought possible and the valet gasped as Thor shoved him aside and lashed out, grabbing Taneleer by the throat. As he did, the illusion around him rippled and fluttered out of existence, making the creature appear.

“You…” Thor snarled, his face a mask of rage as he squeezed his throat “You’ve made a big mistake, _demon_ ”

Taneleer had his hands on Thor’s wrist and he choked, his ugly face turning blue, yet he smiled.

“Missed me, did you?” he choked “I bet Loki did.”

Eyvindr pushed to his feet and stood by Thor.

“H-He has Olivier” he panted “He says he’ll hurt him, ask him where he is!”

His voice turned hysterical, Thor’s face turned pale and Taneleer saw his chance. He let Thor’s wrist go and raised his hand before his face.

It burst with light, flashing blindingly before the Prince and Eyvindr. Their shouts of pain were like music to his ears and he felt Thor’s grip on his throat fall.

His world turned white, he couldn’t breathe, but the savage that he was, his focus was Loki, only Loki. His mind could barely work as he crawled forward, past Thor as the prince knocked back against the doors, hands over his burning eyes, into the door and kicked it shut.

Another burst of magic and the doors vanished, leaving him in blessed silence to compose himself.

The wards were strong here, he could feel them in his chest and he knew he had little time. They were already slowly draining him of his power, like the way an hour glass dropped grain after grain, Taneleer felt his powers diminish.

So far he had no need to panic, but if he hurried and got what he wanted, it would be best.

He rubbed his throat and stood, heaving as he breathed, then looking around the magnificent chambers. He’d been here through his spells but this was the first time he was there in person.

Beautiful.

He would make Loki a cage like this when he tamed him enough.

He coughed for breath a few times and then snapped his fingers, another illusion falling over him.

Blonde hair, blue eyes, beautiful build and plump lips Loki had felt seared over him, Taneleer opened the door that led from the lobby to the huge suite within.

And there he was.

Taneleer’s breath caught in his throat when he saw him.

Sitting in a chair, slumped over, his eyes watery, just like Taneleer loved, his posture defeated.

Taneleer could feel his magic and he fed on it, walking over slowly. He wanted the sad figure to feel safe before he unleashed himself. He wanted to break Loki completely.

His footsteps were confident as he went to where Loki sat, his face a mask of false concern.

“Love?” he cooed in Thor’s voice “What happened?”

He was ready for the answer, just not from behind him.

“You are a fool, that is what happened”

The deep voice made him gasp, especially when Loki’s illusion vanished, and turn around, only to be met with Malekith’s cold face and the sharp pain of a blade bursting through his heart.

He choked and Malekith watched him unpleasantly, his pale face devoid of emotion.

“Y-You traitor” Malekith croaked

“Ssh…You cannot be betrayed because you are so stupid, fool” he whispered, placing a hand over Taneleer’s lips and pulled the blade in his hand out, then jammed it back in “It will be over soon…”

Taneleer felt blood climb up the back of his throat, he felt Malekith step back and crumpled to the ground, laying there and staring up at him.

“You thought to come here without me knowing, aye?” Malekith asked as he wiped the blood on the white table cloth, off his blade “One week you gave me? I have been planning for centuries. All I needed was a way in and you showed me”

He sheathed his blade and smiled, looking around.

“The Aether is here” he said “And I will bring an army to break this kingdom and take it from its heart if I have to”

Taneleer gurgled, thick blood filling his mouth, then pouring out.

Malekith scoffed “And here I was, expecting black blood”

Taneleer’s world started to smother him as he lay there, his eyes unfocused.

His mind chanted protests against this, a litany where he begged to live, begged to be saved.

He needed Loki back

He needed him back, he had plans, he couldn’t die like this!

Yet, for everything he did, everything he chanted, any magic he could think of, failed him as he lay at the feet of a strong mage.

His breathing started to slow and by the time reality set in and his denial faded, it was too late.

Malekith was gone and Taneleer realized he’d lost.

The only consolation he had was the horrified gasp that was familiar, beautiful and mercifully the last thing he heard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HERE I AM EXPECTING MY READERS TO STILL BE HERE WHEN I LEAVE FOR A MONTH WITHOUT WARNING OR ANYTHING. I AM AMAZING, RIGHT?
> 
> Life has sucked HORRIBLY. I will explain more to anyone who wants to know, just send me a message on my tumblr, babies.
> 
> I love you
> 
> And Singleloki ... you are a Queen


	22. Prince of Fools

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What use is being above them when I feel so beneath them that I cannot breathe?” he asked “What use is it if I can’t make them stop talking about me?”

Rain.

For once, Thor wasn’t the one who called it forth, instead watching as it fell around them, making deep puddles and filling up crevices left in the city’s various areas.

It was soothing, it was a balm, cleaning the capital of the dirt that was lodged in places where it wouldn’t be seen. It cleaned the dust from the air, the heat from the wind and the hardness from the palace walls, making it look – normal, like it too could be touched by something as common as rain.

It slipped down the golden sides like honey, taking a path downwards in glorious gold and amber. It purified the sides of the palace and the city.

So it was no surprise that when Thor walked to the balcony of his chambers, he saw Loki standing in the rain, bare to the waist, head tipped up. His eyes were closed and he ran his fingers through his wet hair as the rain cascaded down on him.

He was drenched, yet he wanted more.

And Thor couldn’t deny it.

The rain began to pour harder, a whole sheet of it covering Asgard, the roar of it hitting roofs and walls, the shouting its power to the residents.

It rushed over Loki, cool, calming, cleansing and he knew who the cause of it was.

A gentle smile came over his lips and he let his arms spread as he stood under it, taking in the peace it gave his mind.

He didn’t think he could have that again.

When he walked out last night and saw that – that thing on his floor, writhing across it, blood spilling from its lips, Loki couldn’t move.

He sensed his magic, cruel and biting, all around him, felt it slowly lose its hold as Loki stood there, pale and stunned.

He felt the buzz of magic and sorcery decline around him, heard the reverberating thrum it gave, but he couldn’t move.

He just couldn’t.

He stood there, his eyes wide, watching Taneleer slowly die at his feet, a stab wound in his chest. Somewhere around him, a door had banged open, someone shouted instructions and another, warm, welcome presence ran towards him.

Two arms came around him and pulled him back. Loki couldn’t stop looking away from the nightmare, from the terror, from the torture wrought upon him.

It was still there, his face pale, clammy, his eyes lifeless, ugly, his body crumpled and ruined.

Thor had taken him away then and guards swarmed the room, chaos reigned and then the heavy thud of a door.

Everything had gone black for a moment and Loki couldn’t say a word, couldn’t answer the questions Thor asked, couldn’t respond to the touches. He barely felt Thor seat him on the bed, kiss his forehead and promise to return as he went to deal with everyone who was demanding his attention outside.

He’d sat there for a while, lost in his thoughts of freedom and the promise of a normal life. He didn’t think he could have that with Thor anymore. He didn’t think he could live long enough and now …

Now he could.

His eyes went to the slit beneath the door and he saw, reflected on the polished marble, the way his husband ordered that corpse to be taken away, ordered the place to be cleaned up. He gave them strict orders to find Olivier, then went to look for him himself.

It took all night, Thor didn’t come back till the sun started to rise and Loki hadn’t moved for hours.

The rain started in the morning, the harsh whispers of its descent made Loki look up, his shocked eyes taking in the pure, clean water that came from the sky itself.

Untouched.

Pure

Before he knew it, he was standing, his hands went to his collar and he undid his buttons, taking step after slow step, dropping his tunic and letting it fall at his ankles as he walked further towards the balcony.

He felt the spray of water hitting him first, cool, refreshing, making him close his eyes as it spilled over him, skating over his body, from head to feet, washing away the touches, the nightmares, the fear.

It slipped off him like a cloak and Loki could almost see it float away with the water, through the balcony drains and into the air, fleeing from him forever.

He was _freed_.

He stood there, alone, enjoying the pouring rain, a gentle smile curved his lips when the rain got harder, as it fell in buckets over him.

He knew who was behind him.

He turned slowly to look at Thor and the genteel smile upon his lips, his eyes free of fear and his body relaxed and not coiled to flee, was what it took.

Thor took the few steps needed to go to him.

His hands went to hold Loki’s head, cradling it between his palms and his eyes closed as he kissed him.

It seemed as though he hadn’t kissed him in years and their mouths slotted perfectly together. Loki kissed him back, letting Thor drink from his lips as though he were an elixir he thirsted for.

Loki’s hands slowly raked up Thor’s clothes and he yanked him closer, groaning heavily into his mouth.

Thor was drenched in seconds, his element, his rain showering them both, falling down their lashes, their cheeks, their lips.

Loki tasted the rain just like he tasted Thor and he pulled him closer, his arms holding Thor around the waist as they kissed so passionately, he was expecting lightning to fall upon them.

Thor walked them backwards Loki following, like two bodies and one soul, their movements were in synch, step by step, breath by breath.

Thor broke the kiss off and Loki gasped for long wanted air, then grinned when Thor pressed him against the closest pillar and attacked his neck. His hands went to Loki’s hair, tipping his head back to have more access.

“Darling” Loki whispered “Inside, someone will see”

“Let them” Thor spoke against his skin, hot, wet lips branding the words against him “You look…magnificent”

Loki smiled and felt Thor’s hands trail lower, lower…

He gasped softly when they touched the rim of his trousers and Thor licked the rain off his neck.

“I’m going to devour you” Thor panted heavily into his ear, his blonde hair dripping wet “You’ll never forget this morning”

Loki moaned when Thor slipped his hand into the backs of his trousers and squeezed his rear hard.

A soft whimper escaped his lips and Thor smiled, looking at him, at the way the raindrops settled on his skin, as they dripped down his lips, so suggestively.

Thor slid his hands back up his body and pressed a fingertip over a drop perched carefully over Loki’s lower lip, then his breath caught his throat when Loki’s lips parted softly.

_Gorgeous_.

Thor kissed him again, growling softly against his lips. Loki’s hands went to his hair and Thor had enough.

He needed him, he was _desperate_.

He pressed closer to him, his hands going under Loki’s hips to keep him steady as he lifted his legs to wrap around his waist. Loki kissed him back with all the ardour Thor possessed and he hissed in pleasure when Thor rubbed against his erection.

“Thor…”

“I need you” Thor panted, looking at his eyes, still focused even though sheets of rain fell between them “I’m desperate”

The sunlight was dim, the clouds heavy, the rain poured and Loki smiled.

“As am I”

Thor grinned and Loki was taken into another kiss he could barely breathe in.

***

“ _Thor_ …” Loki moaned, barely able to resist moving his hips up against Thor slick, hot mouth “Please…”

Thor hummed and the sound vibrated against Loki, making him sob softly.

Thor had long ago stopped pretending he wasn’t torturing Loki. At the first taste the conjurer gave him, Thor was hooked, he intended to drink and feast on Loki as much as he wanted.

His hands, which had run up and down Loki’s thighs and legs were now at his ankles, holding them far apart as he spread him open on the bed, restraining him the way he wanted.

Loki was slick, wet and both regretting telling Thor his little talent, the secret spell he was able to put upon himself.

Because Thor had put his mouth to good use, a use so dirty and filthy Loki could hardly breathe. And with his husband, he had been brought to the brink of release and pulled back, again, then again until he pulled at the sheets, at Thor’s hair, to make him listen.

Thor’s jaw worked again, pressed against his slick folds, dripping with Loki’s juices, tongue working in and out, his teeth and lips making Loki cry.

He was living up to his promise.

He truly was devouring Loki.

Loki couldn’t stop gasping and moaning. Thor sucked and nipped him, he licked and touched him in ways Loki couldn’t think of reactions to. He tried bucking, arching his back, something, but the way Thor had him, his knees bent, pulled to the edge of the  bed, legs spread, he had no chance.

Today, Thor would control him.

The tension had long since left his body but now he was a whimpering, quivering mess, hard and wet, pleading for release.

He felt his orgasm build inside him, beautiful wondrous and Loki prepared, his mouth parted, hands fisting tight on the bed…

And Thor pulled away.

Loki groaned in disappointment and Thor laughing, standing and wiping his mouth.

“You have given me a fine gift tonight” he said “Let me enjoy it”

Loki sobbed as Thor climbed on him and started to place hot, open mouthed kisses against his neck, leaving him spent.

His fingers touched Loki’s tender, swollen sex and Thor delighted in the gasp he got from Loki as he gently pushed his fingers in.

“Gorgeous” Thor whispered to him, sliding off to lay beside him “like this, you look gorgeous”

Loki’s cheeks were flushed and he looked at Thor, breathless and gasping in need. He arched his back when Thor pushed his fingers in deeper, searching for a spot inside him.

“I’ll make it better”

His fingers ventured deeper, making Loki writhe and bite his lip to keep from moaning too loudly.

“No, none of that” Thor gently kissed his lips “I want to hear you”

Loki was glistening in perspiration and he trembled, vibrating against Thor as Thor searched for something inside.

It was becoming too much and Loki squeezed his eyes shut, pulled the sheets, his feet digging into the bed.

Then Thor found it.

It was a rough patch of skin, different than what Thor felt earlier and Thor beamed.

“Here it is”

He pressed against it and Loki choked, shaking his head, pulling at the sheets. His toes curled, he lifted his hips against Thor’s hand and let out a sob.

“Thor!” he gasped “Oh….”

Thor began to move his fingers against it, making Loki’s body tense and arch sharply.

“Oh Norns….” Loki heaved “Oh Norns….”

He couldn’t take this, it was becoming over whelming but Thor wasn’t going to stop.

He clenched and unclenched around Thor’s fingers, moaning in satisfaction whenever Thor rubbed over that spot again.

“More…” Loki panted “ _More_ …”

“Gladly, dear heart”

Thor lowered his head to Loki’s neck, biting and licking the skin as he thrust his hand harder, softer, then deeper, then slowly, torturing Loki and making him cry.

Tears spilled from Loki’s cheek as he once more felt his release envelope him.

“Don’t stop…” he pleaded “Not this time, _please_ ….”

Thor smirked at the shaky voice, the tremble in his body and smiled.

“I don’t intend to stop”

He continued, bushing his fingers over that spot, the one pleasure spot inside Loki that Thor didn’t even know he could possess.

He didn’t know Jotunar could add to their anatomy.

Or maybe it was just Loki.

His beautiful, stunning Loki.

This was just for him, only him, only Thor.

His dirty, filthy, beautiful secret.

He quickened his speed, slick noises filled the room and Loki’s wet gasps started getting louder, becoming shrill as he began to cry out, jolted on the bed, pulling at the sheets, panting heavily, wet, hard, trembling, flushed, heated and desperate.

Loki gave a loud cry, a soundless scream, he pulled at the sheets and gasped out Thor’s name.

_Oh, Thor…_

That sound, that soft moan was everything for Thor and he watched as Loki came gloriously, over his hand, his wrist, the sheets…

He found it beautiful and he saw him catch his breath, Loki’s pale chest moving rapidly up and down. He had put an arm over his eyes, his body was hot, and shivering in the aftermath of a release he waited too long for.

Thor smiled at his handiwork and kissed his jaw, carefully moving over him, covering his body with his once again.

This time was for him.

The skies were clear blue now, giving Thor a beautiful picture of what Loki looked like, spread over his sheets, tired and likely sore, yet still desperate because he parted his legs for Thor.

Thor kissed him slowly, his eyes closing as he savoured him deeply, passionately. He felt Loki’s arms come around him, go down his back, tugging at his clothes.

He wanted them off, he wanted Thor to be as bare as he was.

Thor complied, standing on his knees above him and groaning heavily when Loki sat up and started to mouth at his skin, biting marks into his flesh, licking them after. Thor hissed and put a hand behind Loki’s head when he mouthed at his collar, pulling the sensitive skin between his teeth to nibble.

Thor rumbled a lusty laugh when Loki looked up at him, teasing him.

“You vixen”

Loki smiled and kissed the skin he’d bitten, watching Thor carefully.

There was a smile on Thor’s lips as he laid Loki back and pushed his trousers off. His hands roved up Loki’s arms, his fingers entwined with his and slowly he settled himself between Loki’s legs.

“I want to savour you and this gift plenty today” Thor said “So be prepared”

“Savour away” Loki told him “Today I feel free, you do as you wish”

Thor smirked at him and bent his head to Loki’s neck, feeling the gasp Loki gave as Thor pushed into him slowly.

Loki’s breath caught in his throat and his hands tightened under Thor’s, his back arched and his head tipped back. His eyes were closed, his mouth parted as he breathed in response to the intrusion.

“Yes…” Loki bit his lip as the soft whisper escaped him.

Thor grinned against his skin and slowly began to move his hips, making Loki clench and whimper.

Because Loki was already spent, it didn’t take him long to turn his soft moans and cries of pleasures into another release.

His wet pants against Thor’s ear drove the prince, his nails on Thor’s back made him growl and the soft, gentle cries he gave were his undoing.

Loki had released, going limp under Thor as the prince kept moving.

And as he watched, Loki realized how absolutely _beautiful_ Thor was. He was gold bred with strength and royalty.

He was magnificence at its peak, it was grace like Loki had never seen.

Thor’s eyes closed as he came, his body shuddered over Loki’s before he spent himself, falling over his lover.

Loki’s arms came around him and he closed his eyes, feeling peace settle over him again.

Just like the rain.

Just like the wind.

He felt Thor give him peace.

And he never wanted to lose it.

***

Loki hummed as they lay there, Thor curled over him, his golden head on Loki’s chest. Loki’s fingers went through his hair, tapered and gentle and Thor lulled them both into peace with his soft singing.

Loki smiled when Thor’s voice got a little louder.

“Do you sing to all your bed fellows?”

“Nay,” Thor smiled “Only the special ones”

“Of course” Loki said “Is that why you sang to Ruben?”

“I did not…!’ Thor made to get up but Loki pushed him back down “I have never treated that creature to my beautiful voice, just so you know”

“Arrogant, much?” Loki grinned “But I heard you myself, do not try to lie”

“Why are we talking about this?” Thor asked, “We should talk about something more interesting”

“Subtle subject change, but alright” Loki played with his hair “What do you wish to talk about?”

“You,” Thor leaned over to pull the sheet off Loki “I want to see if you still have it”

“Thor!” Loki let out a bark of laughter and curled on his side “You idiot!”

“I want to see what happened!” Thor tugged at the sheet, pressing against Loki’s back “Please?”

“It’s gone, Thor” Loki grinned over his shoulder “It was a trick, a spell”

“A trick?” Thor blinked “How could it be a trick when it was so … so real?”

Loki turned to face him, looking up at him “That’s why it is magic, dear heart, it cannot be explained”

Thor smirked at him “Just like you”

He took Loki’s hand and kissed his palm, placing it on his shoulder.

“You want to go again?”

Loki gave him a dry look “Don’t you have any important job to do? You are a prince, you know”

“Nay, someone else can do them today” Thor said “I want a personal day”

“By personal, you mean have as much sex with me as you can put in one day” Loki asked

“Yes” Thor beamed

Loki slit his gaze, then smiled “Alright, I see nothing wrong with it”

Thor growled out a laugh and pulled Loki close as he kissed him again.

They did in fact, do it most of the day and though Thor enjoyed it, his favourite was when Loki pushed him on his back and showed him a side of himself Thor had so longed to see.

Beautiful. Loud, energetic and absolutely stunning, he left Thor panting. He left him utterly spent and afterwards, despite having more sessions, Thor remembered that one with the most fondness.

As for Loki, this was a good, pleasurable distraction.

He had yet to cope with the realization that he was free. Taneleer was gone and though Loki was relieved, it left a thousand and one questions in his head.

Who killed him and brought him here?

And why?

Those two were at the forefront of his mind and Loki just couldn’t stop thinking about how there was something worse coming, that something cruel was going to hurt them, that even though he was free, this was not over.

He spoke about it to Thor later when they were dressed and heading out of the chambers. It was a huge relief that Thor agreed with him.

“We will find who it is” Thor took his hand in his, kissing his knuckles and holding on as they walked side by side “Today, you do not fret”

“Ah, I see, I can feel my relaxation surging” Loki said, clasping his hand just a little tighter with Thor’s when they reached the stairs.

They were going to the farewell feast. The last of the delegates were leaving, those who lingered for gossip, no doubt, and Odin had given them the impression that the feast was for them but in truth, Odin wanted to celebrate the departure of stupidity.

Only the royal family knew this and only the royal family was snickering at the fast that a midday feast didn’t sound unusual at all.

But then again, the delegates were high on their own hubris so they could be robbed blind.

Thor chuckled at him and reached over to cuff his cheek with their linked hands “You are a tease”

He pulled him closer and kissed the side of his head, when let go of Loki’s hand to put his arm around his shoulders.

Of course, two breaths passed before Loki held his fingers within his own and Thor smiled at the feeling.

They went as one unit, whispering and talking to one another as they went downstairs, through the halls and into the hall where the feasting took place.

Loki braced himself and Thor stayed close as they went in.

“Just stay calm” Thor said “Do not let anyone get to you. They will try to, trust me”

“Oh, I believe you” Loki sighed “I just don’t believe in my own self control”

Thor had an inappropriate joke which he wanted to tell Loki desperately but they were being announced. He kept it in his head for a later moment and went in with Loki, arm in arm.

There was mild applause and intense staring. There were smiles on the faces of the delegates, who sat at the table and more than a few of them openly watched Loki.

Loki’s lips turned tight and he looked at the ground as he walked. Shame filled his eyes at the thought of these people seeing and knowing what he looked like under these clothes.

The fact that they saw his brand, the mark that made him Taneleer’s.

His breathing began to accelerate and Thor’s hand came around, settling on his hip. The prince pulled him close and kissed his temple.

“Breathe” Thor whispered “You’ll be fine”

Loki nodded his head to him and sat down, smiling at the people very openly judging him.

“Ah, Loki” Odin greeted “How do you fare?”

“Mending, your majesty” Loki replied “Thank you for asking”

Balder watched them and Bestla was already starting lunch for everyone. Soft, gentle conversation started after, though Loki barely talked.

He didn’t have much to say to anyone other than Thor and currently his husband was busy being a good host, talking to everyone, taking their attention.

So it was a silent affair, at least for the Jotun.

Balder noted as their plates were taken away that Loki looked awfully bored. There was still an aura of apprehension around him and Balder didn’t blame him at all. After what he had gone through, apprehension was the slightest of what Loki suffered.

They retired to a spacious veranda afterwards to enjoy coffee and dessert, Loki chose the seat farthest away. He sat there, nibbling on his food while Thor stood aside, Balder with him, talking to the delegates.

Odin was standing next to Lady Frigga and Bestla moved about the room, making sure everyone had what they needed.

It was a nice surprise later when she came over and chose a seat next to him. Loki’s smile was genuine and he took her hand to kiss when she extended it.

“Finally, worthy company” Loki told her

Bestla chuckled “Worthier than the lot there, for sure. They aren’t even pretty or pleasant to look at and one of them has horrible breath”

Loki nibbled on his dessert to stifle a laugh and Bestla looked him over.

“How are you, Loki?” she asked “Be honest”

Loki took a deep breath before he answered “Still digesting what happened. I didn’t sleep all night, I couldn’t … I had trouble realizing he was gone”

“You know he won’t come back, dear” Bestla took his hand “Thor burnt the body himself, it was him”

“I am aware and though that is a worry, I will not lie, I do have a much more pressing concern at the moment” Loki told her.

Bestla frowned “What is it?”

“Who killed him?” Loki asked, looking into her eyes “And why. How did they get into our chambers and out, how did … How did I not know?”

“I will not lie, those have been my thoughts all night, too” Bestla gave his hand a gentle shake “But worry not. We will find out who is behind this”

“That is what worries me” Loki confessed, looking at Thor “If – If anything happens to him, I do not know how I will cope. If it is someone who came after me and hurt him …”

“Hush, Loki” Bestla placed a hand on his shoulder “Please, do not think so negatively. Things will be fine. The monster is gone, you can enjoy yourself without looking over your shoulder”

“I have a feeling I will be looking over my shoulder as long as I live” Loki sighed “Asgard is not welcoming of me”

“Asgard is a fool, do not listen to their drabbles” Bestla told him instantly

“Drabbles or not, this is the home and Kingdom of my husband” Loki said “If I do not have the realm’s support, how am I to help Thor rule?”

Bestla gave him a dry look “Boy, I have never been liked by the realm, yet I rule better than my son and husband combined. I ruled it for years before Odin took the throne, mind you. If I can do it, you most certainly can”

Warmth flowed into Loki at those words and he kissed her hand again, delighting at the way she stroked his head in love as she went to mingle.

Unfortunately, as she left, the seat beside Loki, blessedly vacant, was suddenly taken by one of the few delegates who seemed interested in Loki.

Only, she was not interested in a good way, no matter how Loki looked at it. She was beside him to stir trouble.

Her hair was well done up, her expression was not and Loki turned to her with a smile of his own and a wariness that he would have been a fool not to keep around.

“Greetings, my lord” she beamed “Are you well now?”

“Aye, lady, thank you” he replied “And you? Was the food to your taste and the service acceptable?”

“Aye, it was, very good” she pretended not to dismiss it while doing that exactly “May I ask you something?”

“Depends” Loki said, a teasing lilt to his voice “will it make my day worse?”

He tempered his words with a smile, even though inside, he wanted her gone from beside him.

She laughed, false and forced, reaching up and brushing her hair back.

“Perhaps,” she giggled “How did your day go today? Are you relieved that Taneleer is gone?”

Ugh, Loki thought, this was not unexpected but it still made him sick.

“Why wouldn’t I be relieved, my lady?” he asked softly “The man was a monster”

“Well,” she snickered “your relationship with him left a few questions, I was merely inquiring”

“My relationship with him?” Loki frowned, sitting up and placing his plate aside “What do you…?”

But he was cut off by something tall, blonde and over bearing, leaving his anger to suddenly spike when he was prevented from saying what he wanted.

“Ah, Loki” Thor beamed, coming over “I have something to show you, my dear, come along”

“Aye, just give me…” Loki growled and broke off when Thor bodily hauled him up “Thor, stop…”

Thor didn’t, he literally pulled Loki out of his chair, put his arm around him and headed out.

“Goodbye, lady” he threw over his shoulder, leaving behind the sputtering gossip monger “I have to take me husband elsewhere”

Loki snarled at him but let Thor lead him away, waiting until they were out of hearing range, then yanked himself away from him.

“Why did you take me away?” Loki glared at him, “Do you know what she said?”

“I do. I know exactly what she said and why she said it.” Thor said grimly “But I cannot let you tarnish your reputation over someone so petty and common, Loki, I am sorry”

“You mean tarnish it further” Loki sneered at him “They already called me his whore and they’ve already seen me naked, you wouldn’t want that to get worse, how terrible for you”

Thor’s lips tightened at that “Stop it. You know that is not true”

“Then what difference would it make if I defended myself?” Loki challenged “If I told her off, burned her or threw her off the balcony, what difference would it make to you?”

“The difference” Thor hissed through clenched teeth “Is that you are not like them. This rumour will die, your reaction will be remembered. I do not want it to be tainted by the likes of her and these useless people, Loki, you are above them”

“What use is being above them when I feel so beneath them that I cannot breathe?” he asked “What use is it if I can’t make them stop talking about me?”

“You cater to their sickness by retaliating” Thor put his hands on Loki’s shoulders “Listen to me, I know this. I have had cruel words tossed at me and I hated it all, I wanted to beat them to death because of it, I wanted to react just like you do, I know what it feels like alright? I know”

He gave Loki a gentle shake, watching the anger in his beautiful green eyes, then reached over to touch his cheek.

“Hey,” Thor frowned when Loki turned his head away, evading his grip “Hey, no, don’t do that, look at me”

He took a grasp of Loki’s chin and made him look, made him stare at him, anger clear in his tight lipped expression.

“I’m sorry” Thor said “For keeping you silenced, but I cannot let you get hurt in the future over an impulsive reaction, alright? Forgive me”

Loki had his jaw clenched, Thor could feel it beneath his fingers. The hand that held his shoulder felt the stiff muscles beneath it and he could swear Loki was burning inside.

“I’m sorry” Thor stroked his high cheekbone with his thumb “You can stay angry with me if you want but listen to what I say, alright?”

Loki’s silence hurt him and Thor let out a sigh when the Jotun just looked away again, angry.

“Alright” Thor said softly, stepping back “I won’t bother you, but please don’t go back and hurt them, I know it’s difficult, but don’t”

Loki had his arms crossed, gently rubbing the place Thor held him. It hadn’t been hard but Thor suspected his scolding was what stung him.

He gave Loki a nod and turned to go, but stopped not a second later when Loki grabbed his wrist. When Thor looked at him, Loki hadn’t looked at him, but he pulled him closer. Thor let him, he took the step needed to be in Loki’s vision, then accepted him with open arms when Loki pressed against him in a pain filled embrace.

“Oh, Loki…” Thor breathed when he felt his young consort’s hands tremble at his back “Don’t”

“I didn’t like what he did to me” Loki whispered “Why do they keep saying it, why do they hate me?”

Thor placed a hand at the back of his head and kissed his hair “They release their envy, Loki. They hate that you are so beautiful, so smart and generous, so powerful, they hate that they were not worthy of the light you have, that’s why they hurt you – to bring you down”

“I’ve done nothing to them”

“You did nothing to that monster and look how cruel he was” Thor whispered.

He felt Loki tense and kissed his shoulder.

“Come” he said, nudging him a little “I will try cheering you up. We don’t have to go back there, I’ll take you something better”

Loki tightened his arms around him when Thor made to move away from him and the prince chuckled.

“Or we can stay here,” Thor wrapped his arms around him again “Either is good for me”

Loki breathed deeply, calmly with Thor, then took his hand let him lead the way to wherever Thor wanted to cheer him up

Not that he think Thor could, Loki thought, his thoughts were petty dire. However, since Thor wanted to, Loki let him.

And by the time they reached the palace gates, Thor’s presence, his mood, his smiles had already made a difference in Loki’s demeanour.

It wasn’t because Thor had suddenly made it rain, without warning, over the delegates as they enjoyed a walk in the palace before they left, nay, it had nothing to do with that.

They opted to go without a horse, but a guard walked a few feet behind them.

“So” Thor said, smiling at Loki “What does a Jotun with peculiar tastes like to do today?”

“Peculiar tastes?” Loki smirked at him “Does that include you?”

“Aye,” Thor nodded “I’m at the very top of the list”

“A pile, not a list” Loki decided “I have to organize it, you might be tossed a few notches down”

“Cruel man” Thor said, giving Loki’s hand a squeeze “How do I punish these words?”

“You cannot” Loki lifted his chin at him “You must suffer while I roam about, free as a bird”

“Birds fly, Loki” Thor said “You cannot – at least not without my hammer”

Loki raised a brow at him “Is that so?”

“Yes,” Thor told him “Ruben has more chance of flying than you”

“For now,” Loki conceded “But one day, I will prove you wrong”

Thor grinned at him “I have no doubt about that. But tell me, where do you wish to go? Where does Loki want to spend his coin?”

“You mean my husband’s coin” Loki said “Just to dab salt on the wound”

Thor snorted “Mine, yours, it is the same. Come, if you cannot decide, I will take you where I wish”

Loki hummed “I say you already did that this morning”

Thor had taken a few steps ahead and stopped, turning to smile at Loki.

“You’re awfully spry” he said “What happened? Did my grandmother give you her special pastries when I was bidding those arse monkeys goodbye?”

Loki barked out a laugh “No, Thor, but now that you mention it, I will try”

He came to stand beside him. Slowly, he took Thor’s hand in both of his.

“Now” he asked “Where are you planning on taking me?”

Thor looked at him, noting that he never stared at Loki enough.

At those lashes, those beautiful lines on his face, the colour of his eyes….

“There is a fair not that far from here” Thor said, looking at Loki’s lips “But if we go there, it might excite you too much”

“Fantastic” Loki beamed “Come on, let’s go”

Thor smiled as he was pulled forward, though Loki had no idea where to go.

It didn’t take long, there were signs and banners that promoted the fair and soon enough, Thor and Loki found themselves at the entry, paying for the tickets and going in.

There were people _everywhere_ , which was perfect for Loki, who loved the smell of food and the company and not being the centre of attention.

Thor was still holding his hand tight and they walked together, greeting everyone who met them and politely declining when a huge crowd formed around them.

Thor was famous, he smiled and gave them good wishes while trying to keep a hold on Loki, who was just ignoring the people so he could look at the complicated rides and things the fair had to offer.

His eyes, it seemed, strayed towards the most daring ones.

Once security guards stepped in and scattered the crowd, Thor was able to see just what Loki was looking at.

His eyes widened and he shook his head.

“No”

“Oh, come on” Loki pleaded at him, big eyes and all “What fun is there if we do not do something memorable?”

“How about keeping all our limbs?” Thor suggested.

The tent in question, the one Loki loved and wanted to try out, was something Thor might have considered if he was supremely drunk.

But, as it was, mead was not in his system today and common sense was.

It was a knife throwing competition. Only there was a large board where one person was to be tied while the other threw knives at them, hoping they wouldn’t hit them. It would likely spin, too, if Thor’s luck was something it depended on.

There were four warriors standing there, ready to try it out and Thor winced as one of them tested his aim at with the very sharp knives, by tossing it at the vacant board.

“Loki, it’s incredibly unsafe” he tried

“That is what makes it fun, come on” Loki pulled him over “I am an excellent knife handler”

“You’re an excellent…?” Thor broke off and blinked “No, I am not getting on that thing so you can hurl knives at me”

“Oh, come on” Loki turned, taking his hands in his own and walking backwards “Where is your sense of adventure?”

“With my common sense” Thor chuckled “Loki, you can’t be serious”

“And if I am?” Loki challenged, head turned in challenge “Then what?”

“Then I will politely decline” Thor snickered “I don’t want to get stabbed”

Loki begged then, by the norns, could he beg. When that didn’t work, he changed tactics and bribed, when they didn’t work, he moved on to threats.

“I will find someone else to” Loki said smartly turning on his heel to go.

Thor laughed, knowing he wouldn’t, but followed still – he’d seen a few nasty glares in Loki’s direction.

“Loki, wait,” he went after him “Listen, perhaps we can…”

“Perfect” Loki spun around and smiled “I knew I could get you to see sense”

Thor raised his brows at him “I never agreed”

“Yes, you did” Loki told him “You said ‘Perhaps we can’. Come along”

He took his hand again and pulled Thor with him.

“I didn’t mean that, you minx, you know it” Thor chuckled “Why do you want to stab me so badly? There are so many stalls, why do you have to choose the most dangerous one?”

“Because” Loki hummed, taking Thor ahead so they could wait in line “If you do, I will reward you”

“I believe you tried that not two minutes ago” Thor smiled at him, but stayed behind him in line “It didn’t work”

“It will work this time” Loki spoke confidentially “I was a Knight before I was a … a husband, I know this might surprise you but I can easily best you”

Thor raised a brow “If that is proved true, then I will do anything you ask. What would you like to bet on?”

Loki bit his lip, then looked to the side where a large stall had kegs of beer.

He smiled his slow, clever smile and Thor blinked.

This was not going to end well.

***

It went wonderfully.

Loki was beaming, grinning, happy and delighted at what he had done and Thor was a groaning mess, being dragged to their room by two thickset guards.

They had passed Fandral and Balder’s friends, all of them staring as they passed, Thor slung happily over Loki, kissing his head and cheek every chance he got and Loki enjoying it because he had done this.

He was responsible for defeating Thor and drinking him under the table.

And if he used a little magic to empty his goblets, who knew? Who cared?

Loki won – somewhat fair and square.

They stopped in the middle, of course, because all the kissing was getting to Loki and he wanted it done properly. He’d pressed Thor against the wall and kissed him till the prince’s knees went weak. Thor’s hands went to his back, then up his to grip his face.

Lovingly, so absolutely lovingly that Loki felt his breath catch in his throat.

No one had ever looked at him like that.

Loki closed his eyes when Thor stroked his cheek and then leaned in to kiss his forehead.

Warmth slipped through Loki, making him wrap his arms around Thor and just hold him. He felt those strong arms come around him and he breathed in Thor’s scent, felt his protective hand at the top of his head as Thor cradled him close even in his inebriated state.

He loved this feeling, this is how he wanted to be held.

“Loki,” Thor whispered against his hair “my Loki”

His other hand rubbed his back and Loki started to relax, wishing this could last forever, wishing Thor’s arms would stay around him for the rest of his life.

But, alas, they had to break.

Loki tipped his head up and kissed Thor on the jaw as his drunk husband made a soft noise, indicating that Loki should move so that they could go back to their room.

Thor had stumbled on the way, almost taking Loki down with him, so two guards stepped in. Loki watched as Thor kept humming and murmuring as he was taken away, Loki following close behind.

Loki had his arms around himself, keeping Thor’s warmth as close as possible. He was walking lazily, watching every step his husband took and realized something so profoundly obvious, he could have smacked himself.

He was not only in love with Thor, the man was his life.

Loki was so deeply in love with him that nothing mattered more.

And instead of that realization making him wary, it filled him with hope.

Maybe he had a future where he could be as happy as he wanted.

Maybe he didn’t have to be afraid anymore.

This made his lips curve into a smile and he waved at Bestla when they crossed the halls to go to their room.

She held up her thumb to him, making him chuckle, then blew him a kiss.

Another wave of warmth went through him and he made a note to make her something to show his appreciation.

The guards led Thor to his suite, where Loki took over, putting Thor’s arm over his shoulders and leading him to bed. Thor studied him and became suddenly heavier than he had been a moment before.

Loki pretended he didn’t notice and dragged him to the bed, all but tossing him on it.

He yelped because when he threw Thor on it, Thor wrapped his arms around Loki and yanked him down, holding him on top of him, smiling up at his stunned face.

“Mine” Thor cooed, raising a hand and brushing Loki’s hair off his face.

So much love filled him that Loki could almost see it in Thor’s eyes. He could imagine him say it. He could imagine himself say it, too.

Those words, he wanted to say them to Thor because he knew Thor felt the same.

He’d seen it.

He let Thor move him on his back and drape himself over Loki, kissing and nuzzling his cheek.

“You’re so beautiful” Thor whispered in Loki’s ear “I’m so lucky”

Loki smiled “Oh? How?”

Thor’s hand rested near his head and Loki hummed when Thor ran his fingers softly over his temple.

“Everything you say,” Thor kissed his lips “Everything you do is beautiful. I couldn’t have gotten a better person, you know that”

Loki rolled his eyes “Ah, you said the same thing differently, I did not understand”

His reply was a soft whine and Thor lowering his head to set it next to Loki, his blue eyes unfocused, but on Loki.

“I know you used magic to cheat” Thor told him after a while “That was a nasty trick”

Loki laughed, his arms coming around Thor “Yet you still love me”

Thor laughed softly in his ear “Nay, I love no one”

For a second, Loki thought he misheard, a frown came over his features. But then, Thor’s words hit him and he went cold under him.

“But you love me” Thor stroked his cheek “I see it. I see it in your eyes when you wake up, I hear it in your voice – that is why you are beautiful. Because you thought me worthy of being loved. Despite your agony, you saw hope in me, honouring me with your feelings”

“You don’t love me?” Loki whispered softly

Thor shook his head “No, but you mean more to me than anyone else. Even my family. Especially my family…”

Loki swallowed heavily and looked away, forcing himself to study the wall.

“Loki?”

He could hear the frown in Thor’s voice

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing” Loki said quickly, lest Thor want him to look at him “I’m just tired. Sleep, Thor, you need it”

He felt Thor relax on top of him and sighed.

Gods, he felt stupid.

“Sleep, Loki” Thor’s thumb traced his jaw “I will wake up later to be with you”

Loki didn’t reply. His mind was racing over the fact that though he loved Thor, Thor didn’t.

Loki just meant a lot to him. Loki was _important_.

Thor didn’t love him.

He didn’t want to, but Loki felt his eyes prickle and when he blinked, two lines of tears went down his cheeks, vanishing into his hair.

He was in love.

Thor wasn’t.

 ***

Thor had woken with a terrible hang over next morning and Loki had been busy. The prince had wanted a little coddling from Loki, he wouldn’t lie, but his consort had decided to spend the day with Bestla.

Thor didn’t mind, he had his own work to do today.

The public courts had him sit in all morning, through lunch and later. By the time Thor had finished his reserved cases, he had only legal terms, exhaustion and Loki in his mind.

And food, he was starving

Loki’s long, loving arms around him, his lips on Thor’s, whispering to him about his day as Thor listened to every word while they feasted. That was what he wanted, what he _needed_.

He stomped into his suite, eager to get to his lover, telling Olivier to set dinner for the two of them, complete with candles, only to stop cold when Olivier told him Loki already went to bed.

“What?” Thor frowned, stopping and looking at Olivier “When?”

“An hour ago, my prince” Olivier told him “He said he was tired and retired early. Shall I set the table for you here or with your grandmother? Your father and brother are having dinner in her parlour tonight”

Thor had wanted to have dinner with Loki, he wanted to kiss him, but Loki had fallen asleep.

“Is he ill?” Thor asked

“Nay, just tired, my lord” Olivier told him patiently.

“Oh” Thor looked at the door, wanting to go there but not wanting to disturb Loki.

The desire was plain in his eyes, to go to Loki, his hands itched to hold him against his body, to kiss his exhaustion away, he wanted to be there, next to Loki, he’d been looking forward to it all day.

“I’ll…just have some fruit, I’m not hungry” Thor lied, smiling a little “Give my apologies to my family for me, yes?”

“Of course” Olivier bowed his head “Shall I bring the fruit here or to your room?”

“Here would be good” Thor said, “I’ll wash up, while you have it set”

“Excellent, your majesty” Olivier bowed and went to do as he was asked.

Once Thor was alone, he gently took off his shoes so he didn’t make noise and wake Loki. He was silent as he opened the door, his heart bursting with the hope of finding Loki awake.

But once more, disappointment surged through him when he saw Loki sleeping, his back towards the door.

Thor exhaled softly and went to the bed, brushing his foot along the carpet to make just enough noise to make Loki turn if he was awake.

But Loki didn’t move and Thor slowly walked to his bathing room to wash up, as he had said, promising himself a breakfast with Loki in the morning.

He went into the bathroom and decided on a short bath – he felt the water would at least help him.

His mind still went to Loki, how he wanted to be with him, he wanted to spend time with him, he wanted to talk to him, only him.

No one else seemed good enough anymore.

No one else made him feel peace.

Not even Freya had done that.

Norns, he hadn’t thought about her since he met Loki.

Perfect, stunning Loki.

He wanted to kiss him all day.

And he would, tomorrow.

With that to look forward to, Thor washed himself, his hair, then dressed in his nightwear and went to the dining table.

The fruit looked unappetizing, but he suspected anything would since he wasn’t having it with Loki but he forced himself to eat some.

His stomach still rumbled, but his appetite was gone.

So, that night, with the promise of more time with Loki tomorrow, Thor went to bed, pulled Loki into his arms and started to go to sleep.

He woke, disturbed, in the middle, when Loki silently moved out of his arms at night, to go back to his spot on the bed, far from Thor.

He knew it was accidental, Loki didn’t even know what happened, he wasn’t awake.

But the pain that went through him was worse than the biting hunger he felt in his empty belly.

It rained softly all night, even when Thor drifted off to sleep. It was peaceful, calm and steady, his slumber, but he woke to the sound of the door clicking.

For a few seconds, he didn’t know what it was, he was confused, but when his eyes went to the bed, he saw Loki was gone and he woke swiftly.

“Loki?” he called out, sitting up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes “Loki, wait”

There was no answer, of course, so Thor stood, got into his slippers and walked out, still half asleep.

Loki was there, buttoning his cuff as he spoke to Olivier in hushed tones.

When Thor arrived, Loki smiled at Thor, slightly strained, possibly by exhaustion, Thor reasoned.

“Ah, Thor” Loki beamed, coming over “I had hoped you would wake before I leave”

Thor blinked “Leave?”

His heart jolted painfully as Loki came over and kissed him on the mouth.

“Aye,” Loki finished his cuff and straightened Thor’s robe “Your grandmother is taking me to meet with her social circle. I heard they are delightful”

His words, his voice, what he wanted to do instead of being here all felt false to Thor and he gently grabbed his arms.

“Loki, I thought…” he looked at the table where only one place was set “I wanted to have breakfast with you”

“Oh, I already ate, Thor” Loki grimaced “I promise to dine with you once we return”

Another kiss – cold, false – then Loki backed away.

“Is the Queen ready?” Loki asked Olivier as he walked to the door “I wouldn’t want to pressure her too much and arrive early”

“She’s waiting, highness”

Thor blinked as Loki was guided out by Olivier, waving at Thor and giving him his farewell in the same false tones.

He stood there, stunned, unable to catch up with what happened. His hands were empty, the room was empty, there was something so damn empty about even the kisses Loki gave.

Gently, Thor reached up to touch his lips, he could taste the coldness of Loki’s kiss and he didn’t like it.

Gone was the warmth he felt.

And Thor had no clue what happened.

Outside, walking in the halls, dressed in his best, accompanied by a guard, Loki touched his lips.

He felt cold inside, he felt heartless. He didn’t feel the warmth he felt, before, he felt rejection from Thor, he felt betrayal.

How could Thor say that to him?

You don’t love me?

No …

No.

No

Thor had told him plainly.

He didn’t love him. He likely wouldn’t love him.

And what future did Loki expect with a man who wouldn’t love him?

The very one he had made his present. False tone, fake smiles, socializing hen he was dying inside, talking when his spirit was terrified, listening to those who talked about him at his back the moment I was turned.

This was his future, unreal and dead.

He sighed, lowered his hand, placed a smile on his lips and walked onwards.

Let Thor wonder what happened to him, why he is a statue instead of a person, let him think.

Loki was right in his hurt, he was right to be cold towards him a little.

Bestla was waiting and Loki was waiting to spend an empty day with her, praise and false smiles directed at him, the food and the wine that they cursed him for touching.

And he had to, such was his misfortune that he had to.

This would be the rest of his life.

Unloved

He raised his head and pushed his dire thoughts aside when he saw Frigga and Odin standing beside Bestla, the group talking to one another. When Loki arrived, they smiled – even Odin – and called him over.

“Change of plan” Bestla announced “Odin just informed me that he would like a day with you instead”

Loki felt his heart clench.

Since that day, Odin had left him alone, he hadn’t asked for the one day a week and now that he suddenly did, Loki was extremely anxious.

“I …”

“Worry not” Odin said “It will be fun. Besides, it will help if you are seen about with the King”

“Aye, I can take Frigga with me” Bestla beamed “We can talk about Odin the entire time. Discuss him with our ladies, destroy his reputation”

“Mother…”

“Or plant a few rumours” Bestla nudged Loki “That would be fun, wouldn’t it?”

Loki neither confirmed nor denied, too busy wrapping his head around this new development. He wanted to think of a way out of it, but nothing came to mind. He was free, the time he wanted to spend away from Thor now included Odin.

“I was looking forward to meeting the ladies” Loki lied softly

“Oh, you can meet them another time, worry not” Bestla dismissed “And don’t worry about Odin. I have his future with me”

Frigga blushed and Loki tried not to squirm too much under Odin’s gaze. The King was clearly aware of his discomfort and waited until Bestla and Frigga left, then smiled at Loki.

“You’re nervous”

“I might have reason to be” Loki replied “The last time we met you made me sign a humiliating agreement”

“And agreement that kept you in line” Odin smirked “Then of course, you had your episodes and we deviated from our original deal of spending a day per week together”

“No great loss, if you ask me” Loki muttered, uncaring at this point, if Odin was offended “What do you have in mind today?”

Odin shrugged “Just a stroll, I wish to talk to you, get to know you better. Perhaps ask about you history, since we barely know it”

“Thor knows it”

“Thor knows little” Odin told him, gesturing towards the hallway “Shall we?”

Loki hummed and nodded, walking in front of Odin as the King trailed behind, obviously trying to intimidate him.

Loki hated that it was working.

They were silent the entire walk to the gardens where Odin guided him, but once they were out of ear shot, Odin turned to him.

“You never mentioned how you got caught” he said “Or perhaps I didn’t know, would you care to tell me?”

Loki tried not to sigh. Dealing with his man was frustrating.

“I was at a fair when they grabbed me” he said “I do not know why they did, but they chose me”

“And no one other than your mother missed you?” Odin asked “No paramour, beau or someone you were involved with?”

“No, other than my mother, no one missed me” Loki told him

“Are you sure?” Odin asked “Because the guards and Heimdall informed me that there is a Jotun by the name of Angrboda seeking you out. He says you were his lover before you were taken”

The moment Odin said that name, Loki felt a ball of lead form in his stomach. It hurt, it made him sick and he stared at the King for a while.

“Let me guess” Odin said “His attentions were unwanted, too?”

A lump formed in Loki’s throat as he stared at Thor’s father.

“So far three men have been ‘after’ you” Odin said “One of which snuck into my heir’s room without being detected and harmed a man in my staff, before that another harmed Balder. How is it possible that you keep attracting the wrong people, but you yourself are innocent?”

Oh, what dirty mentality he had. Loki felt his lips tighten and he wanted to hit Odin. His hands shook as he reigned in his temper.

“If you are so sure of what you say, then cease implying” Loki grit his teeth “Say it plainly”

Odin raised a brow at him “Very well, how is it that …”

“That I turned down disgusting monsters?” Loki asked “I don’t know how, maybe if you were in my position you would know what it is like. To have them leer at you and then have people like you and the Aesir nobility look down upon me, make jokes at my expense, tell everyone I wanted it. What have I ever done to you?”

“You lied, that is what you did” Odin hissed at him “You Jotuns are all the same. Lying, cheating, then turning around and stabbing us in the back. What does Thor see in you? Why is he in love with a creature so vile? Murderers, all of you, traitors, just like your father”

Loki was white in rage. His hands were buzzing with magic and he knew if he stayed here a moment longer, he was afraid he would _kill_ Odin.

He turned and stormed away, not wanting to answer this man.

But he was halted when Odin grabbed his wrist.

“You listen to me” Odin pulled him in “If my son suffers anything while you are with him, I will make you regret it”

“Let me go” Loki said, pulling at his arm “I will not hear you insult me anymore. Your prejudice is unwarranted, I have done nothing. Now release me”

Odin glared, held him tight for one more second, then let go.

“Do not hurt my son” he ordered “None of your other previous lovers should enter my home again”

Loki felt his eyes prickle with tears “He was not my lover”

“So you say” Odin scoffed.

He turned and walked away then, leaving Loki alone, standing there, in anger, in shock, in a desire to turn and storm away, leave Asgard.

His chest hurt, his heart hurt and he didn’t know how long passed with him just – standing there.

He didn’t even know when he wasn’t alone anymore.

A soft hand landed on his shoulder and Loki blinked, turning to see Balder standing there, his face full of sympathy.

Loki didn’t know what to say, but it turned out he didn’t have to.

Balder slowly pulled Loki close and embraced him, cradling the back of his head just like Thor did.

“Don’t you listen to him” Balder whispered to him “Don’t you dare listen”

It was too late, Loki already had.

But he didn’t deny himself this comfort and when, after a while, Balder led him to a place more private, Loki let him.

They missed, the both of them, the silent blue eyes that watched them from afar, his suddenly aloof husband in the arms of his younger brother, the very one who wanted to take from him.

Thor stood stunned, lost and alone beneath the shade of the palace, staring at the one person who meant the world to him, be taken by the one person who he least expected.

Thor swallowed and licked his lips, telling himself that this was not what he thought.

It was something else.

It had to be something else.

Yet, dark clouds and rain slowly began to surround Asgard, betraying the hurt the future king felt pressed painfully to his heart.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOW I WILL ANSWER ALL THE MESSAGES IN MY INBOX


	23. (Mis)Understandings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Aye?” Thor asked, “And what of me?”  
> “What of you?” Loki asked, drenched, hair plastered to his head, dripping on the floor, upset Loki asked “You, who loves no one? You will cope”

The skies were darkening with thunder clouds, lit every now and then by the lightning that sizzled within, powered by a sense of grief. The rain was soft, the thunder barely a whisper compared to what it could be.

For this time, Thor was in pain, he was neither angry nor was he after vengeance, he was just – hurt. Hurt that Loki was, possibly, probably, maybe, with someone else, someone better, someone who gave him what Thor couldn’t.

The problem was that Thor had no idea where and why he was failing. Why was Loki going to another, if he was? Why Balder? Was there something in him that Thor was lacking?

For the life of him, Thor couldn’t find out what it could be. He had, in his opinion, more than Balder, so why was Loki … if Loki was, why was he with him?

His heart gave another painful jolt – he’d had many since he saw them leave together – and Thor sighed, resigning himself to the fact that he would never know anything till Loki got back and they actually talked about it.

Till then, he had to force away these thoughts and distract himself.

So, with his day to himself and his heart in danger, the prince decided to spend his time reading. He’d neglected it, doing other things – in the bedroom – with Loki.

He felt his lips form a smirk as he went and picked up his copy, going to the couch to read it in peace. He could hear his staff moving about, doing their job, closing windows and giving him light glares for starting this weather problem. He knew Olivier was back and though Thor tried to tell him to take a few days off, if not for himself then for Eyvindr, who kept sneaking into their suite at night to see if Olivier was alright.

Thor didn’t mind, he liked his father’s valet, but when they were having dinner, Olivier was sternly professional and it made him snap at Eyvindr, who then got hurt.

It was something that could be fixed with a few days off, if only his valet would listen.

He could see him even now, lurking about, a tuft of orange and grey, prim and proper, giving orders in hushed tones so as not to disturb the young prince Thor.

A flat meow sounded from his side and Thor turned giving Ruben a dry glare as he sat on the floor, eyeing the couch so he could sit with Thor. Thor made to shoo him away, but the thing didn’t leave. Instead the ball of fluff and arrogance hopped onto the couch and curled against his leg, head lifted regally, watching absolutely nothing.

Thor gave him a nudge, but when Ruben didn’t even move, he gave up and sat back, looking around once for any witnesses that might have seen his mildness towards the cat. He was pleasantly surprised because no one seemed aware of it and went back to his reading.

Eventually, the story got to him and his eyes got wider the closer he got to certain parts, his heart pounding at the thought of the Kingdom being taken down by the Mother of Dragons. Ruben, who had been beside him had long since been replaced with a bowl of fruit that Thor slowly nibbled on, finishing the snacks as he read on.

He was at a terrible part of the story where the grand Queen was about to do something drastic when the door opened and Loki loomed, drenched, his hair plastered to his head and his eyes locked on Thor.

Thor, who hadn’t even looked up from his book. And, already seething, Loki lost his temper. Everything that happened, Thor claiming he would never love him, Odin’s mistreatment, then Balder’s stupid attempt at trying to make him feel better, Loki was already at the end of his limits.

And then, while Balder stood there and told him that Odin’s anger was justified and that Loki had to let it go, told him to take it like a bitter pill, the rain started to fall, slowly but gently, drenching everyone around the, especially Loki, who was sure boiled the water that fell over his head. He squelched through the gardens, heading through the halls and back to his room to find the reason of his current, short term misery, enchanted by a book that obviously made it rain.

Loki slowly peeled off a wet, slick glove, held it tightly in his hand – and hurled it at Thor.

Thor yelped, startled when something slick and wet hit his  book and looked up to see Loki drenched and angry.

“Loki, what the hell…?”

Loki, however, gave no response, he let out an angry huff and strode to their room, slamming the door so hard that it shut with the sound of a thunderclap.

Instantly, Thor was on his feet, tossing his book aside and going after him, a frown on his face. He opened the door and saw Loki setting a case upon the bed and yanking clothes out of the wardrobe, still fuming

“Loki” Thor snapped the door shut firmly and walked to him “What the hell are you doing?”

“What does it look like?” Loki growled as he tossed in his clothes “I have had enough, I am leaving”

Thor frowned and strode over, grabbing his arm and stopping him.

“Like hell you are” Thor snarled “What is wrong with you?”

“I said, I have _had_ it” Loki yanked his arm away, his green eyes blaring rage at Thor “I am tired of being treated the way I am, like I am some sort of criminal, just because I am Jotun, I am not staying here another second!”

He turned to grab his clothes, but Thor gripped his arm, this time not letting go even when Loki pulled back. Instead, he grabbed his other arm and pushed him against the bedpost, looking into his eyes and not giving him a chance to leave.

“Stop this!” Thor gave him a shake, glaring at him “Talk to me, what the hell happened at the meeting?”

“Why don’t you go ask your father?” Loki sneered “Or your brother? Or the thousand other people who claim that I deserve everything that happened to me and that I was that monster’s precious little whore, not a captive!”

Thor’s face was set in a disapproving scowl as he looked at Loki, waiting for him to calm. Loki looked right back, wanting Thor to let go.

“I thought that perhaps signing that demeaning document was enough for him, but no” Loki continued “He wanted more, another humiliating attack at me and I will not stand it. If he hates me so much, I will leave, let him be happy”

“Aye?” Thor asked, “And what of me?”

“What of you?” Loki asked, drenched, hair plastered to his head, dripping on the floor, upset Loki asked “You, who loves no one? You will cope”

Thor opened his mouth to respond to that taunt but instead, realization hit him, comprehension dawned upon his features and his eyes widened, staring into Loki’s very angry ones. Loki saw it, too, but it did nothing to dampen his hurt or anger.

“Loki…” Thor began, but grunted when Loki shoved him off and went back to his case.

The prince watched him, standing there, neither packing nor willing to stay. Thor couldn’t see his face, but from the slump of his shoulders and the way he had his head turned away from Thor, likely to spare him seeing his pain

He said nothing, he stood there, his face to the wall and hands tight around his arms.

“Is that why you have been distant?” Thor asked Loki

“Who wants to be reminded they are not loved by their own husband?”

Loki’s response was sad and Thor sighed, feeling a little trapped.

“Don’t say that” Thor said “You act like … like I have done some wrong to you.”

“You imply it everyday but you never say it” Loki chided him softly “I see it, I know it…but you never say it, is that not wrong? I am not being ridiculous”

“I never said you were” Thor took a step closer “Would you at least turn around so I can see you?”

“No”

In spite of himself, Thor found himself smiling at that a little.

“Loki, come on” he tried gently “We’re adults. We don’t … feel or fight about things like this, dear heart.”

Loki grit his saw and Thor saw him hunch over even more, which made him take the two steps needed to stand behind him.

“Come here” Thor took his wrist from behind and gently spun him around “There we go, now look at me”

With a gentle finger, Thor tipped Loki’s head up, looking into his eyes. He cupped his cheek and stroked it fondly, shaking his head.

“You’re living in a house filled with fools, Loki” Thor said “I know it can get over whelming…”

“It is not over whelming” Loki cut in, “it is downright insulting and stupid, I don’t know how anyone could live with your lot. Racists, sexists, all of you”

He pulled away again and glared at Thor.

“What do you know about anything other than your own lives?” he asked “Assuming everyone else is beneath you, you do not care. You say whatever you want, do whatever you want, regardless of what happens to those around you”

Thor sighed “Loki …”

“No, I am not being … stupid or unreasonable, I am not!” Loki snapped at his tone “Do not presume to think that I am anything other than someone suffering and acting like a child because the man I love is an idiot and he told me he would never love anyone, his father told me I am a monster who deserves what happens, his brother told me to be silent and take it! I am reaching a point where I will do something drastic!”

Thor listened to every single word he said, but only one phrase went through.

The man I love told me he would never love anyone

The man I love

Man … I … love

Thor watched Loki, the pain he was in, the heartache and shook his head, walking towards him again and not stopping even as Loki hissed at him and retreated. He was defensive and glared at Thor as he came closer.

“Do not come closer” Loki felt the bedside table prod his leg “Thor, I don’t want…”

The rest of his words were taken by Thor’s mouth as the prince kissed him, his hand coming to cup his nape, his eyes falling shut. He felt Loki push at him and pulled him gently closer, deepening the kiss, despite how angry Loki was.

Loki’s struggles ceased a few moments into it and his hands settled on Thor’s arms, encouraging the prince to hold him closer. He kissed Thor back, but broke off when he needed to breathe, unwilling to look at Thor.

It hurt Thor how much pain Loki was in and he brushed his hair back.

“Please forgive me” Thor asked him “I did not know what I said and I didn’t mean it”

“Yes you did” Loki told him “you lost your inhibitions and you said what you meant.”

“I didn’t mean it, Loki” Thor said “I don’t know why I said it, but I am telling you now, sober, in control of my thinking, that it was not true. You mean more to me than anyone, Loki, no one matters to me more than you”

“Ah, yes” Loki scoffed “You told me I was _important_ , yes, that was it”

Thor sighed and brushed his hair off his shoulder, stroked his neck, tried to soothe him into calming down.

The prince didn’t think it would work, but after a while despite his rage, Thor felt the tension leave his body. Loki relaxed a little and allowed Thor to pull him close, set his forehead on his large shoulder.

He rubbed his back and felt Loki inhale deeply.

“Loki,” Thor said “listen, it’s not that I have a vow to not fall in love with you. Just because I haven’t said it, doesn’t mean I won’t. Why say it when I do not even mean it, aye?”

Loki let out a hum and Thor stroked his head.

“Darling, why are you so upset?” he asked gently.

“You know why, I just said it” Loki mumbled against his tunic “I am”

Thor grinned slowly, closing his eyes and listening to the sound of it.

“Am what?”

“You know what, Thor, don’t make me say it!”

“No,” Thor nudged him “I want to hear it”

“No”

Thor laughed and kissed Loki on the head, still rubbing his back.

There was silence between them, slowly getting comfortable. It relaxed Loki and it relaxed Thor.

He sighed and wrapped his arms tighter around Loki before he kissed his hair.

“Come” Thor said, pulling him to sit on the bed

“Tell me everything that happened”

***

They had long since become a spectacle, the room filled with their yelling, their voices carried out as father and son went at each other in rage. Thunder echoed outside in response to both their anger and the wind howled angrily, making the trees bow to their fury.

The hall was empty, the dining area where it all started was devoid of the royal family and Lady Frigga, all of them taking their dinner in Queen Bestla’s chambers.

Loki had been invited, of course, despite being the one who had started all this, he went with them, head held high. Balder was not impressed by him and he gave him a glare because Loki had done the exact opposite of what he advised.

Telling Thor and starting this fight, where Thor stormed into the room, in a fit of anger, aimed all of it at Odin, was a big mistake. Not only would Loki turn himself in a pariah in the eyes of the King, he would also be blamed for causing strife within the royal family.

Balder had told him to keep silent for a reason and this was it. Odin was not one to take well to being challenged this way, especially over someone he had deemed unworthy. Thor was just like him, not one to back down from a fight, even if it was with his father.

They had all left a few minutes after Thor went at Odin, demanding that he tear up that annulment and that he tell him everything he said to Loki. Of course, Odin tried to stay calm because Frigga was there, but then once Thor got into his personal space and let out his anger, Odin didn’t hold back.

Cruel words were exchanged, anger was spent.

Bestla took everyone out, not giving them a choice and left only the few staff members behind to move their dinner to her chambers. Eyvindr and Olivier were not one of the two. Instead, Bestla’s own valet was in charge so they stood in the still yells filled dining room, listening to everything.

“Twenty on Thor” Olivier said

Eyvindr snorted “Are you betting on their misery? With twenty coins?”

“What, you would have me bet something else?” Olivier asked him

A slow smile came over his lover’s lips and the man groaned.

“What?” he asked warily

“If Odin wins, you take the week off like Prince Thor is asking you to” Eyvindr said, beaming happily.

Olivier groaned “Eyv…”

“If you win, I will do that thing you like for a week”

Olivier’s eyes widened and he parted his mouth to speak, but his brain took a second too late to catch up.

“We have a deal”

They shook on it, kissed on it then waited, leaning against the wall as the father versus son battle took place before them.

Or rather in a room before them.

They reasoned that they had been yelling for about twenty minutes when the doors banged open and Thor barged out, still seething. Behind him, Odin stood shocked, his eye trained on his son’s back as he walked away, fuming over what happened.

“Thor” Odin called “Thor!”

“Leave me alone!” Thor snapped over his shoulder “Don’t talk to me unless you have taken back what you have done and made amends!”

Odin’s lips tightened but he said not another word. He looked to Olivier and Eyvindr, who were standing alert and professional.

The king exhaled and walked to the doors, prompting the two to prepare for an order, but Odin merely closed the doors with a soft click and locked his room.

Thor on the other hand was still fueled by his rampage and he stormed out, opening the door hard enough that it slammed against the wall outside and bounced back. He saw a servant girl approaching and glowered at her.

“Where is my husband?” he demanded.

“The Queen’s chambers” the maid replied “They are all there”

Thor grunted a response and stomped there, wanting to go to Loki and soothe his frayed nerves. He hadn’t been kind to Odin and he didn’t want to feel the guilt just yet. His words had been hard and cruel, he wanted to take them back instantly, but he forced himself not to.

First he wanted that stupid document to be torn up, then they would proceed.

His boots clicked loudly on the marble floors as he made his way to Bestla’s chambers, his hair billowing in the wind.

He could hear them when he reached the doors and raised his hand to knock, blinking in surprise when Loki opened it from within and the looked startled.

“Oh,” Loki said “I just finished, I was …going back”

Thor hummed, Loki could feel the anger radiating off him and behind him, he heard the  voices silence. He shut the door and stepped closer to Thor, almost chest to chest now.

“Let’s get out of here, aye?” Loki asked softly “You need to eat something”

That simple worry, that Thor heard in his voice and saw in his eyes, calmed the fire in him. It was like a gentle hand had settled upon the rage in his chest, forcing it to obey and weaken. Loki placed a hand on his chest to nudge him back enough for him to pass, Thor felt it.

A little jump in his heart, a jolt, like his lightning, deep inside his chest. He felt a flutter over his arm and the way Loki stopped, he knew he felt it, too. The Jotun turned, his hand over the mark that once burned over their skin and Thor touched his own.

Loki’s face turned stunned, Thor’s was smiling.

It had happened.

Every day implied but never spoken – it had happened.

And Thor didn’t say a word.

Loki blushed brightly and Thor stepped to him, placing a hand over his cheek, looking into his eyes.

“I do,” Thor whispered against his lips “Gods, Loki, I do”

He kissed him again, Loki’s eyes closed and he sighed softly against Thor’s lips, making the god shudder.

“I do, too” Loki confessed “Damn me, but I do”

Grinning, the prince kissed him again, his hand behind Loki’s head, his arm around his waist. He kissed him.

His husband

His lover

His love

His dear heart

His Loki.

***

They felt like they were floating. Loki had always doubted the feeling that he could ‘float’ but he was. He was walking on air and Thor was with him. He still had problems lingering behind him, beneath him, around him, the most intimidating one was in the form of his father in law. Yet for now, Loki chose to ignore it. He chose Thor and the happiness he provided.

They didn’t say it to one another, but both of them felt it, they loved each other, both of them having fallen. Loki felt his feelings for Thor surpassed any and once they confessed it, everything was better. Even reading was better.

They started to get joined at the hip and more often than not, Loki found himself pressed against a wall, a door, a tree, the ground, Thor’s mouth on his, his hands all over his body.

Thor found himself snatched mid - walk and shoved into a room when Loki was in his amorous moods. He would emerge debauched and panting while Loki looked pristine and collected.

Thor suspected he used magic.

He liked the marks Loki left on him, too. He liked the feeling of being owned. It made him remember how much of a wild cat Loki could be when he wanted. He had scratches down his back from nights spent passionately between the sheets, he cherished those. He had bite marks on his shoulders and daring bruises on his neck.

He felt owned.

And norns, did he love it.

Loki was no different. Thor did things to him he never thought possible. He made him feel like he was made of fire, not ice. He made him feel wanted and loved.

He hadn’t felt that way before.

It made him confident enough in himself to answer his mother’s many letters. He was slowly distancing himself from her, just like she had done, but they remained in contact.

Thor suspected Loki preferred it that way.

Tonight, Thor was impatient, wanting to hold Loki as soon as possible. Loki was still writing, mumbling words to himself, then waving a hand over the paper to erase what he didn’t like and write it again. He was focused on his task and Thor was distracted from his reading by every move Loki made. He couldn’t help it, he was just – besotted.

When Loki finished, Thor welcomed him into his arms, kissing his neck.

“Finally” Thor said “where you belong”

Loki scoffed “Please, I belong to no one”

“Is that so?” Thor smirked, then reached up to stroke a bruise he left on his neck “What is this?”

“Aesir brutality”

Thor laughed and kissed his head “Don’t pretend you have no Jotun brutality. The other day I could barely sit, you bit me so hard”

“Tis your own fault for having such delectable globes, dear” Loki set his head on his shoulder and looked at the book in his hand “Are you still reading that?”

Thor nodded “Aye, how far have you reached?”

“Not too far behind you, actually” Loki reached over and closed the book “We should read it together”

“As you wish” Thor set his book aside and held Loki with both arms, squeezing till Loki groaned “Regret marrying me now?”

Loki huffed “I would if I could breathe”

Snickering, Thor loosened his hold. He sighed and Loki looked at him, knowing that like him, Thor had problems behind him, too.

Odin hadn’t talked to him nor had he torn up the document like Thor told him. The result was that both father and son were refusing to talk to each other. Thor felt guilty, believing that he started this war and now didn’t know what to do with it.

Loki was touched and told him that it was alright, he could live with this, but Thor was adamant. He wanted that document gone, there was no compromise on that.

Though Loki didn’t mention it again, he held Thor’s care close to his heart and cherished it. He liked it, he felt respected for once in his life. And he showed it to Thor as much as he could.

He spent time actually learning about Asgard with Olivier and Eyvindr and was telling himself to do what was expected of him. He wanted to make Thor proud.

He heard Thor rumble against him in laughter and felt his hand brush his hair back.

“Are you tired?”

Loki groaned “Thor, no, we did it three times today. You should have saved it for the night if you wanted another romp”

Thor grinned “So I have to ration it now?”

“Yes” Loki told him “it is not my fault if you are not sated like a normal person”

“It is” Thor said seriously “You are to blame for being so irresistibly stunning that I cannot keep my hands off you”

Loki lifted his head and gave him a look “Can you not think of better compliments?”

“What was wrong with that one?” Thor asked

“It lacked imagination” Loki told him, setting his head back down “Do better”

“Right now?” Thor asked

“If you can”

Thor let out a hum and lay back, his fingers idly drawing patterns on Loki’s shoulder. A sense of calm settled over them and started to lull Thor into some sort of relaxation.

His eyes had closed and he was on the verge of deep sleep when he heard his name being called and someone shook him. He woke with a frown, looking at Loki, who was staring out of the window.

“Thor, what’s that?” he asked him

He pointed to their balcony, where something glittered a few feet above the ground, straight and narrow, a hint of a shadow beneath it, barely visible in the moonlight. Red shimmered before them and Thor frowned.

He recognized it vaguely, sitting up and pushing sleep back from his fogged mind.

It hit him the moment he looked closely at what that was and his eyes widened.

“Odin’s beard…”

Loki went alarmed when Thor shot out of bed and ran to the balcony, looking at that thing as though he couldn’t believe it. His face was furrowed in worry and Loki got out as well, coming to stand behind him.

“What is it?” Loki asked

He looked at the entity, red in color, like tiny gemstones, oddly cut and transparent. It didn’t look like much but when he was this close, Loki could sense its magic.

It was dark and cruel.

“Thor?” Loki prompted

“It’s the Aether” Thor whispered to him “It’s supposed to be in the Vault, how did it get here?”

 Chills went through Loki at hearing that and he watched Thor reach out and flick a piece of the dark matter before him. It tinkled, like the sounds of a wind chime, but it did nothing pleasant to Loki.

“Can it be contained and taken back?” Loki asked

“Yes, stay here, I will get my father” Thor told him, placing a hand on Loki’s back “Don’t touch it, darling”

Loki nodded and watched him leave, then turned to the Aether once more. It thrummed with magic and Loki’s attention was slowly but surely being taken by it. It gleamed, it glittered and when Loki focused, it whispered.

It spoke to him, calling him in a language Loki didn’t understand, but wanted to. He heard his name, he heard it make promises to him, he just didn’t know what they were. He didn’t understand.

The more he looked, the louder the whispers got and started to form proper words, but he still couldn’t understand them.

As he watched, the Aether began to shine in his eyes, the green slowly behind taken over by red, spreading from his pupils, darker, stronger, alluring…

It gathered in his eyes and Loki extended a hand, feeling his magic at the tip of his fingers, responding, sparking at the command the Aether gave him.

“There it is”

Loki blinked and flinched back, startled at losing himself.

His eyes turned green and he tried to remember what he had been thinking of. His mind was met with a fog he couldn’t shake and he turned to look behind him, seeing Thor arrive with the King. Loki lowered his gaze and ducked his head as Odin walked past him, a containment device in his hands. He opened the lid and Loki’s heart began to beat faster because he heard the whispers louder, the voices called him more insistently because there was more inside that case.

An arm came around him, pulling him close as Odin worked but all Loki saw was the Aether. It was pushed into the container by Odin, trapped once more, but before the lid was closed, Loki heard the first coherent thing it spoke.

“ _What you could do with this power if it flows through your veins_ …”

Loki’s heart gave an excited jolt and he stared right up until Odin snapped and locked the ampule in his hand, caging that power within.  The king turned and his eye met Loki’s.

Odin frowned and faltered, Loki turned away quickly but the damage was done.

Odin knew Loki had been watching the Aether but he said nothing. He simply told Thor that he would look into it and keep it safer.

“Keep aware” Odin said “if something like this or anything else suspicious happens, let me know. Both of you”

“Yes, Father” Thor bowed his head

Loki nodded “Aye, King”

The king bid them farewell, locked eyes with Loki once more to let him know that he knew what he had been thinking and walked out.

The door clicked shut after him and Loki exhaled a sigh he’d been holding in far too long.

“He will talk to Hiemdall” Thor told him “The gatekeeper will know who let it out”

“Good” Loki droned “It’s best that thing stays out of untrustworthy hands”

“Aye” Thor nudged him “When did you see it?”

“I felt it,” Loki told him “Before I saw it, I looked up a few moments before I woke you. I sensed it, like someone standing in your peripheral vision.”

“Because of your own magic” Thor mused “Do you sense it now?”

“Not since your father put it back” Loki replied “It – talked to me”

Thor’s eyes widened at that “What?”

“It told me to think of what its power would do once it was in my veins” Loki told him

Thor turned pale and looked sick. His eyes went over Loki, as though checking for damage or hurt.

“What’s wrong?”

“You have to promise me to stay away from it” Thor turned to face him fully “Loki, that thing is alive, it will possess you like a demon. It will lure you in, trap you and destroy you. That thing is evil, swear that you will stay away from it”

“Of course” Loki whispered, his eyes wide “W-Why would I go near it?”

“Because it has chosen you” Thor whispered “it will lure you, call to you but you have to swear that you must not answer to it. You can’t fall for it, Loki. The last person that did so … turned cruel, dark and evil. He lost all humanity inside him, instead becoming a force. We managed to take the Aether out of him but it was too late. He hungered for it, he wanted it and he would have done anything for it had we not stopped him”

“Who?” Loki asked him softly

“Malekith, he was called Algrim before he was taken in by it” Thor stroked Loki’s arms “But after it did, after he was possessed and after his mind was taken over, he changed his name. He became the Dark Elf Malekith, born from malevolent forces and bent on destruction. I lost my mother to it, Loki, I will not lose you. I will not”

His grip became hard and Loki stared at him, shocked at the words that escaped Thor’s lips.

“I love you” he told him “I won’t lose you, I love you, Loki”

His arms came around him and Thor held on tightly, cradling Loki’s head to him as he embraced him.

“I won’t lose you”

Loki swallowed heavily, his arms at his sides, stunned, just like him. He licked his lips and nodded, his eyes shining in the dim light of their room.

“I love you, too” Loki whispered, slowly putting his arms around Thor’s neck “I love you, too”

***

Thor loved kissing his neck, Loki was already convinced of that.

He was a beast, an animal, giving into his carnal desires the way he licked and bit his throat, the way one of his large hands held Loki’s beside his head, the way his body lay on top of his, keeping him where he wanted.

And the way he wanted Loki was pressed into the bed while Thor lay between his spread legs, holding him down as he kissed and bit his neck.

Ration be damned, Loki wanted this as much as Thor did. His head was tipped back, his eyes were closed and he panted heavily, his other hand trapped on the bed, Thor’s mouth moving over his skin, leaving trails of chills in its wake as he traced over his faint lines.

Thor had memorized them and he cherished them whenever he could.

Tonight he had gone down to Loki’s chest, biting and nibbling on his lines, kissing his skin, making his mark on him. He had made Loki cry and hiss in pleasure, wanting more from him, wanting so much more.

There had been a carnal, desperate need within Thor tonight when he pulled Loki into his arms and kissed him, when he backed him against the bed and the two fell on it. There was a frantic edge to the kisses he placed on Loki’s jaw, the way he held Loki so tight.

There was need and desire inside him, but there was also fear and a yearning to keep Loki as close to him as possible. His body trembled with this craving and he made it known to Loki as he grinded against him, groaning heavily against his skin as he kissed him.

“Loki…” he whispered, looking down at him “I need you”

Loki smiled slowly “Then what stops you, dear?”

Thor smiled at him and kissed him properly, sliding over him. He gasped when Loki’s hand snaked between them and grabbed his erection, giving it a squeeze, then moaning when he stroked it.

“Come on” Loki purred “in my hand, love, move against it”

Thor hissed and bit his lip and set his head on Loki’s shoulder as he moved, slowly moaning out his pleasure. Loki’s hand was skilled, having learned from Thor and tonight, he learned what he did to Loki when he similarly pleased him.

Norns, it felt good. He kissed and bit his neck, his shoulders as Loki brought him to his peak, letting Thor rut against him when he wanted more.

“Loki…”

Loki smiled when Thor pleaded for more, his hands coming to part Loki’s long legs.

“Go on, dear” Loki breathed, bucking his hips “Take what you want”

And oh, did Thor take.

Loki let out a sharp cry, his breath caught in his throat when Thor slipped a finger inside him, slick with the oil he’d had placed on their bedside table. Loki clenched around him and arched his back when his husband stroked his insides, feeling the thick, long digit rub against his sweet spot.

“Thor…!” Loki choked, his eyes closed, his face starting to heat up.

Thor smirked at him, lowering his head and kissing his chest, biting whenever Loki relaxed, keeping him on edge as he worked him open.

It was fortunate that Loki seemed to love having sex with him as much as Thor liked it with Loki, because it didn’t take long for the prince to have him pliant enough for him.

When he climbed on top, Loki kissed him hard, his arms wrapped around him, his body ready to take him in. he was thrumming with anticipation and he wrapped one leg around Thor’s hips, keeping him in place as the prince loomed over him, hands on either side of Loki’s head.

“Tell me when, darling” Thor ducked his head to his neck again, licking his skin.

Loki bit his lip and shuddered at the lovely caress “Delay it any longer and I might have to take matters into my own hands, darling”

That gave Thor pause and he looked at him, a slow smile on his lips “Is that so? Then maybe I should…”

He didn’t complete that sentence. The air was knocked out of him and his world spun when Loki flipped them over and beamed at him, sitting astride the prince in one smooth, slick move. His hair fell over his shining eyes and Thor realized nothing was more beautiful than this, nothing was ever going to be, either.

The prince smiled and set his hands on Loki’s hips, beaming at him “You green eyed devil, that was a dirty trick”

Loki smiled “I thought you liked dirty tricks”

Thor growled and bucked up against him, wanting him to move.

“No, no” Loki teased, grabbing his hands and setting them down “There is something very alluring about having the future king of Asgard on his back beneath me. I will cherish this moment very well”

“I knew you wanted to see me like this” Thor said, holding the sheets to keep his hands where he wanted “You’re a deviant”

“And you love it” Loki purred, moving himself to grind down on Thor and gain a delicious groan from his lips “Aye, let me hear your sounds”

Thor bit his lip when Loki moved again, this time lowering his head to kiss him, his lips tingling afterwards by something that was uniquely Loki. It felt wonderful, it made him feel full and sated. He was happy.

Loki tormented him with feather light touches and kisses, he made sure Thor was on edge this time, always seeming to give him what he wanted and then pulling back at the last moment. It was exquisite, there were points when Loki used magic on Thor, making him sensitive to everything he did and that ended up with Thor releasing over them both with embarrassingly short timing.

Then Loki gave him what he wanted. With his touches, he let Thor push into him and take him, bucking his hips so he brushed against Loki’s pleasure spot, listening to him moan and pant, holding his hips and pulling them down to go in even deeper.

Loki cried and keened, he begged and moaned, wanting more and more from him. And Thor gave.

 He gave it to him three long, deep, panting filled times where Loki clung to him and gasped out his name over and over.

Afterwards, he held him through the night and in the morning, he got out of bed early to make Loki breakfast in bed.

He wanted him to be happy, he wanted him to feel loved.

He wanted, halfway through his disastrous cooking, to go back in time and learn how to cook.

Oh how the luxuries of his life were biting him in the rear now.

Dinner and lunch was manageable, how was he to make eggs when he didn’t even know how to break one properly!? True, the staff had asked to help but his pride prevented him from asking for aid in making Loki those flat cakes he loved during breakfast.

He doused them in fruit syrup and cream, enjoying them with so much gusto that Thor knew he couldn’t make him anything other than those.

Loki deserved to be happy.

So he tried, three times he tried and three times he failed, with the staff watching and Olivier shaking his head, trying to get the prince to leave their small kitchen before a disaster struck.

Thor was not known for his patience.

But he showed an incredible amount this morning and surprised everyone when he put together a delicious, decent meal that looked like it was meant for royalty. They even applauded him, which made him give them a dry look, when he set it all up and carried it to the bedchambers.

Loki was well awake and was brushing his hair when Thor entered. He saw him in the dressing table mirror and gasped, spinning around to look at his husband.

“Thor, what is this?” he asked, his eyes wide

He set the brush down and came to look at the lovely tray, the delicious aroma making his belly rumble “You shouldn’t have”

And in that moment, the torment Thor went through proved worth it. He was so damn happy to see Loki like this that he couldn’t help but he proud of himself.

“I can’t have it in bed but I do wish to have it with you” Loki took the tray and set it aside before coming over “Come here”

Thor easily accepted the kisses Loki gave him and then followed him out to the dining table where the poor staff had managed to make Thor his own breakfast through the carnage he left behind.

Loki waited for Thor’s to arrive and hummed in delight when he took the first bite of the pancakes. Thor had put in more sugar than usual and Loki realized he liked it. He took a dollop of cream with it and smiled at his husband, swallowing and taking Thor’s hand.

“Thank you” he brought it to his lips to kiss, which left Thor smiling as well.

Thor wanted to hold hands as they had breakfast, which made him snicker.

It was perfect, loving and beautiful.

In another part of the palace, someone was having much of the same emotions.

The King, Odin Borson, stirred in his bed and smiled when he felt the presence of his lady next to him, sitting, no doubt, with his breakfast.

She that a lot, much like his Gaia, she was quickly taking a big place in his heart. He smiled at her as he lay on his front, watching her.

“You look beautiful in this light” he commented

A blush dusted her cheeks but she gave no sign as to how Odin’s words affected him.

Beautifully, was the answer.

“As opposed to all the other light when I look hideous, you mean?” she teased as she poured him his tea.

“Nay” Odin reached over and took her hand in his own, bringing it to his lips to kiss “You shouldn’t do this, dearest, you will put Eyvindr out of a job”

Frigga chuckled “Perhaps that is my intent”

“If it is, I should be wary” Odin moved to sit, not liking the fact that she served him like this “move, dear, let me care for us for once”

She protested of course, but he carried the small table to the where he usually dined and sat her down. With a few quick and easy movements, he had set everything on the table and joined her.

“You start, my lady” he said “I fear that since we met I have started to like this so called breakfast you prefer”

“No meat, Odin” Frigga snickered “That is what you mean. These are called eggs and that is toast and that white stuff is porridge. Normal people eat all of those, you know”

Odin snorted “My lady, you know I am anything but normal”

“Ah, of course, below average people eat meat and nothing else” Frigga smiled, delicately putting breakfast into her plate.

Odin inclined his jaw and smiled “You are cheeky this morning. What are you planning?”

She gave him a look and picked up her cup, sipping her tea and batting her lashes at him.

“You want something” Odin realized, heaving a sigh as though it was a burden “Ah, of course, that is what this breakfast is about then, bribery”

“The best kind, you must admit” Frigga smiled, setting her cup down “But yes, I want something”

“Name it, my darling” Odin said, sitting up straight and facing her “What is it?”

Frigga looked right at him, no fear of Odin disliking what she said, no worry of anything inside her. It was one of the things Odin loved about her and she knew it.

“It is not for me, King, is it for you” she told him bluntly

Odin knew what it was before she even said it and he sighed.

“Frigga…”

“Make up with your son, I have been telling you for days, Odin” she said calmly “This fight will do you no good. You have isolated Loki and now you will do that to Thor. Your table was filled with people now it has lost two. You cannot keep up this battle”

“There is no battle” Odin said gently – as gently as he could over this sensitive topic “I am giving him time to calm down. He will not listen to my reasons if he gets angry”

“Perhaps because you threaten the man he loves” Frigga said “I know why you do it and in your position perhaps I would be the same. But I have lost my child, Odin, you know it. I cannot see you lose yours while they still live, I cannot”

Odin dropped his gaze and she reached over to make him look back up at her.

“I am serious, love” Frigga said “the marriage is done, it is not going to be over. Why are you putting a rift between yourselves for nothing?”

That made the King look aside and Frigga feel a little guilty. She didn’t want to ruin his morning but it had been long enough. For someone who had lost her family, she did not want him to lose his and even if Odin didn’t see it happen, it was going to if he went the way he was.

She knew Odin didn’t like to hear it but it didn’t matter right now. He had to hear this.

When he said nothing for a while, she put her hand over his

“Odin?”

He nodded “Aye, you … you are not wrong, I doubt you can be. I will talk to him today”

“Swear?” Frigga held out her hand with her little finger out.

The king turned and smiled at the adorable gesture and felt the mild irritation leave him. How could she go from scolding to this in mere moments and bring his mood with it?

He would never know.

 “Swear”

He hooked his finger with hers and brought her over to kiss. She was beautiful, she was perfect and Odin was as close to being in love as he could ever be.

After breakfast, Frigga headed home and Odin went to Thor’s chambers, making up a speech in his head about losing family members over something that can’t be changed and trying to find a way to apologize without actually apologizing.

Damn, but his mother was right – his pride will be the death of him.

Odin walked into Thor’s outer chambers and then into the main ones without knocking.

“Thor, we need to…”

“Norns be damned, get out!”

There was a squeak and Odin covered his eyes when he saw Loki jump off the table, quickly gathering Thor’s clothes and running to the room, Thor following him, shouting insults at Odin.

They were both a blur but Odin saw enough of Thor’s rear in his life time to know that a bright red bite mark had no place over it.

He couldn’t move and even the shock of seeing what he did was in shock.

“Can’t you knock!?” Thor howled at him from within  his rooms

“Uh” Odin cleared his throat “I came to apologize”

“Accepted now leave!”

Odin heard a snicker and Thor growl something to Loki, who was clearly in fits right now. He heard Loki mumble something and Thor growl harder.

Then there were sounds Odin decidedly didn’t want to hear. He turned about and left sharply, leaving behind the shock and trauma he had seen and heard.

***

It was decided by the trio not to tell anyone about how Thor and Odin made up and how the ante nuptial document was suddenly torn and in the trash. They told everyone they worked it out but for some reason Thor found it difficult to meet his father’s eyes.

And whenever he lowered his gaze Loki began to snicker, which made Bestla, who had not had Thor and Loki at their dinner table in days, narrow her eyes. There was a secret there and she needed to know.

There was something going on between the three of them.

Bestla cleared her throat “So, how do we find ourselves with the elusive Thor and Loki tonight?”

“A miracle” Thor beamed at her “Don’t get used to it, we are still far above you all”

Balder snorted and Loki jabbed his elbow into Thor’s side.

“Behave” Loki told him.

Of course Bestla noticed it and grinned “Are you actually putting manners into my grandchild?”

“No, he is trying” Thor told her “he knows how naughty I am”

There were groans of protest from the table and Loki shoved him, telling him to shut up and stop embarrassing him.

“You know, I was naughtier” Bestla snickered

“Mother, no!” Odin frowned, setting down the goblet he had picked up to take a sip “We are not interested in what – you did when you were younger”

“Who says I was young when I did it?” Bestla said

Loki laughed out loud, Frigga blushed and Odin tried to get his goblet to swallow him.

He coughed and cleared his throat afterwards, going back to his food.

“Could we talk about something else?”

“Yes, I want to know how the Aether got out” Balder said “We have enough security and the Destroyer didn’t even activate”

“Destroyer?” Loki asked, his eyes wide “What is that?”

Odin cleared his throat and took another sip “Tis a weapon. It guards our vault, keeps everything where it is supposed to be”

“Like the Aether” Bestla continued “If someone snuck in and let it out then it should have triggered the Destroyer”

“Oh” Loki said “Could I see it? The Destroyer, I mean”

“Of course” Balder smiled “Thor and I can show it to you”

“Yes, we can take you there after dinner” Thor smirked “It’s nice and private there”

Balder groaned and opened his mouth to say something when the worst happened.

Right there, before everyone in the room, the most powerful people in Asgard, Odin, their King, Father, Son and lover, held his chest, a gasp escaping his suddenly blue lips. His eyes became sunken and he stumbled to his feet.

“Father?” Thor’s stood, going pale “Father!?”

Bestla cried out when Odin fell to the floor, his hand holding his chest and his body shaking.

“Father!” Thor shouted, running to him, falling on his knees beside him, his eyes shocked “No, no, no!”

Frigga ran to him, pushing Balder and Loki aside to sit beside him, her hands extended to hover over his chest.

“Poison” she gasped “He’s been poisoned”

Bestla screamed at the guards to fetch Eir and Frigga started to get to work, over the cries and shouts of the royal family.

“Give me way!” she ordered when Thor tried to shake Odin awake in his panic “Loki, pull him back!”

It broke Loki’s heart how he had to drag Thor away from his father, the way his eyes were wide and the way his body was tense and in shock.

He pulled him into his arms and Thor’s went around him while Bestla and Balder held one another. Loki’s eyes were wide and he was in shock as Eir ran in, a complicated looking device with her. She had two healers with her and Loki felt two arms come around him as guards pulled him and Thor away, followed quickly by Bestla and Balder.

They were too distraught to see what would happen, it would only make things worse.

In his arms, Thor was tense and Loki pulled him closer, lowering his head to his neck to keep him comforted.

He heard Thor praying against his skin and Loki closed his eyes and prayed as well. Behind them, Bestla was weeping softly and Balder held her, discreetly wiping his own eyes as he did so. Their hearts were pounding in their chests, they felt sick knowing that they could easily lose the King.

Thor’s grip was too hard on him and Loki kissed his shoulder, feeling the two tears Thor let loose slid down his neck.

“Hush, my love” Loki whispered, cradling his head “he’s strong, he will make it”

Thor didn’t reply, Loki didn’t expect him to. He just held Loki and took the comfort he needed before he straightened and focused on the door. He didn’t let Loki go, not for a moment, he kept him in his arms and Loki rubbed his back.

Eyvindr ran over half an hour into the torturous wait, his face pale, his eyes filled with tears.

“What happened?” he demanded, his voice breaking “What happened to the King?”

His voice was shrill and seeing someone in such clear pain, Thor finally moved away from Loki and walked to Eyvindr, who looked up at him and shook his head, backing away.

“No, no, please don’t say that”

“Hush, it’s alright” Thor cupped his face and kissed his forehead, gently pulling him into a soothing embrace when Eyvindr broke down.

He held Thor’s tunic and wept, his shoulders shaking with every sob he let out. Balder went to him, too, rubbing his back and trying to calm him.

It showed Loki how devastated Bestla was and he went to her, wrapping her frame in his arms and letting her hold him. He kissed her head and rocked her from side to side as she began to cry.

“I’m here, it’s alright” he cooed at her “I’m right here”

“I can’t lose him” she whimpered “Loki, I can’t, I can’t”

“You won’t” Loki rubbed circles on her back “If he is anything like you, and despite his protests, I know he is, he will make it”

Bestla managed to huff out a gentle laugh and smack his chest “You fool”

She didn’t move away from him and Loki wouldn’t have it any other way.

Ten more endless minutes passed before they saw the door open, all of them tensing as Frigga and Eir walked out, their expressions dire and exhausted.

“He’s alive, he will make it” Eir told them “But he needs his rest.”

Bestla let out a relived sob and ran to embrace first Eir, then Frigga, kissing their hands over and over, thanking them. They told her it was nothing and tried to calm her down, a queen was above them, she did not need to do this.

She only calmed when they told her that it would upset him seeing him like this when she went in and Bestla wiped her eyes and face, then went to clean up before going to him. Thor followed, then Balder, leaving Loki and Frigga outside.

Loki looked to the woman and  walked to her, knowing she suffered as well. She was hesitating going into the room so Loki took her hand and pulled her in, walking with her to go to Odin.

It seemed to be what Odin needed because as his family surrounded him, his eye went to Frigga. He extended a hand to her and her façade crumbled.

A sob escaped her lips and she let Loki go so she could run to Odin, into his arms when his family gave her way.

And there was no doubt about it even Thor knew.

His father, the King, had found a Queen.

***

It was later in the week, when it happened again.

A week since Odin was poisoned, a week since Thor had taken over, a week since Balder had taken the position as advisor and a week since the guests began to arrive.

Hundreds of them, from all the realms, including Jotunhiem.

Laufey had arrived with Irpa and the royal children, Farbauti in tow. She was beaming and delighted at seeing Loki again.

But his heart ached when he saw her all done up, happy but done up. Her expressions were too strained when she talked to him and he realized that she had moved on from him.

She still loved him, but she had moved on, to another life, not even asking about the letter Loki never opened. Not even asking how he had been when he was tortured by that monster, not even sparing him a thought except what she was supposed to as a mother and just enough to keep their relationship intact.

Laufey met him with an apologetic air, the nasty attitude when Loki married was gone and Loki at least appreciated that even if he didn’t appreciate the fact that this caricature was the person his mother left him for.

The children, his half siblings spent the day with him but that too felt more out of a sense of duty than anything else. They had brought their own guards and servants and chose not to bother the royal family too much for their short stay.

The Vanir king and queen arrived, too, which prompted Frigga to stand beside the family, making them feel uncomfortable. They clearly knew her and everyone was pleased at their discomfort at seeing her at such a high position. And if she enjoyed it, who were they to judge?

Then came the dwarves and Loki saw Thor glower at them, his thunder rumbling over the palace. Loki had to kick him in the shin to get him to behave. He knew why he hated them but these poor things had done nothing to him.

There were many more, all of them being catered to expertly by Thor, Loki, Bestla and Balder. Loki had a few mishaps, accidentally putting two guests in the same room for instance, but in the end he managed to keep everyone happy.

Odin didn’t meet them separately but the next best thing was that he had dinner with people from a different realm for the entire week of their stay.

The House of Laufey were predictably the first to leave. They had paid their respects and held their heads high despite the many, many glares thrown their way. Their presence was a question many wanted answers for since Odin hated them all. But Thor was fond of them, he liked them and he sat with them while the others sat on the dais.

It was something Loki greatly appreciated at every feast they had.

He showed it to him nearly every night, too and Thor was on cloud nine.

Tonight, the Jotun royal family had departed and Loki was seeing them off. He had taken a horse with him to the bi frost and held his mother tight as she embraced him in return.

It hurt that he missed her so and she so easily forgot who he was to her.

But there was little he could do about it now. And telling her would do nothing good.

The light from the portal vanished and took the family back where they belonged and Loki felt no need to go back to Jotunhiem. None at all, which was a slight shock.

It made sense, since he was happier here, but it was still surprising.

He knew that his pain at seeing his mother so happy without him would show on his face, so he lingered in the palace grounds when he got back. He rode his horse from garden to garden, humming a tune he had heard Thor sing a few times.

He went to Gaia’s gardens and stopped the horse, patting its bottom to let it wander away and decided to relax on a bench under the sweetest smelling Asgardian flowers.

It was divine, the smell was too sweet for most, but Loki loved it and with the hanging ends of the tree, he could just raise his hand and touch them whenever he wanted.

Loki had picked one off when he heard it.

The whispers.

‘Come to me’

‘Be mine, come ….’

Loki felt something creep up his neck and turned to look behind him and there it was, the Aether, standing behind him, just like before. Red, glistening, calling to him.

His eyes were focused on it again and it lured him closer, step by step, till he could reach out and touch it.

The crystal felt glorious beneath his finger tip and he felt power, unlimited power just from that one touch.

‘Free me’

Its whisper went through him again and he found himself wanting to obey.

‘Take me’

Loki licked his lips and plucked the piece he had touched from the air. The second he did, the rest of it swished away, startling him. He twirled in the air above him and flew to the clouds, going towards the palace and out of sight.

It left with Loki the piece in his hand and he clenched his fist around it, closing his eyes as he felt the raw power within.

The Aether.

Sheer power in his veins.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my GOD so sooooo much has happened.  
> My laptop died, the hard disk, my files, everything gone forever!! I had to buy a new one and get used to typing on that - still suck at it.
> 
> Also I had a birthday!! I am THIRTY WHOO HOO
> 
> Love to all you darlings still reading this. I am happy to say that this is about to become another finished fic.
> 
> Cheers and love, all


	24. The Host

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What is this?” Thor rasped, his voice dangerous  
> Loki saw it, his face going pale when he realized how damned he was. He moved back, sitting up with the sheet to his collar as he stared at Thor. When the man turned, Loki swallowed heavily and opened his mouth to speak.  
> “How long have you had this?” Thor demanded  
> “I – I can explain”

It was raining, hard and strong that night.

The wind was howling and everyone was enjoying it. The day had been especially harsh today and nearly everyone of high or low estate were glad for the relief that started in the late afternoon. It started strong, cold winds quickly making everyone duck for cover and hot foods started getting prepared in the taverns.

Broths and soups were quickly served at food kiosks, tea and coffee replaces the cool juices that many had been having during the day, crispy fried and deliciously aromatic food was nearly everywhere. The people were walking under umbrellas, eager to get to their destinations when the rain slowed, a slow, delightful drizzle that disappointed those who had been bathing in the water.

Children, mostly.

And Loki.

Beautiful wonderful, stunningly irresistible Loki. The rain had been a gift for his beautiful, sweet husband, who had been affected by the horrible weather. He had been a tired mess all morning, but when the first wave of cool air hit him, he changed, he became delighted and for the life of him, Thor couldn’t stop it even if he had wanted.

He’d made it rain and before he knew it, Loki was outside, dancing in it. He was drenched, his hair plastered to his head, he was happy. He kicked at the water that filled up his balcony, too much of it to drain quickly. He jumped and leapt in it, he stood under the heavy rain that pelted on him and he smiled, he grinned, he was happy.

Thor had stood, leaning against the door to the balcony, amid his wet drapes, watching him. He had shed the melancholy air around him since his parents had gone, since the Jotunhiem delegation had left and now he was grinning non stop, inviting Thor over.

Thor had shaken his head and Loki’s grin turned mischievous, he’d stalked Thor and the prince ran inside, only to be yanked out by Loki, protesting halfheartedly as he was soaked just like him. A fight had obviously started, both of them trying to win over the other, hurling water at each other, kicking and jumping in the shallow pool their balcony had become.

Their laughter aided Thor, too, who was sad and upset, seeing his father that day.

The pressures of ruling suddenly had proved smothering and though it had now been a month since he had taken the throne – temporarily, no coronation took place – Loki could see the signs of stress on his husband. He came back to their chambers at late hours, only to wake up early and leave. He had taken to skipping meals in order to go through the many, many hours of study he did before he went to rule.

It made him want to go back in time and actually _listen_ when his grandmother taught him all this.

He went to the Council, the nobility, everywhere Odin did, ill equipped for dealing with all the people who had seen their chance at getting what they wanted.

Twice now Thor had managed to start a fight in the Council chambers where once he promised the same land to two people, then again when he cut the budget of three different sectors. Odin did that too but he took their complaints with diplomacy where Thor took it with an apologetic air.

It gave them permission to complain and brought in so much negativity and anger to the Prince that he found himself helpless against it. He’d come back in a rage yesterday and Loki had talked him out of it.

This morning, Bestla told Thor to let her rule today. He needed a break and when he returned, those bastards wouldn’t dare oppose what he said.

Thor hadn’t asked much and spent the day with his sadly neglected husband.

Not that Loki was bored, the Jotun had started a bond with Balder where they two would read and play games all day. Then they would get Thor to play those games, only he would decline.

It was not to his tastes.

But the way Thor and Loki had bonded, both literally and figuratively, was far superior to that Loki shared with his brother. There was intimacy, friendship and love.

Thor felt like a fool for questioning Loki earlier.

More so when they stopped the rain and their play to go inside and relax.

Today was for them so Thor gave Olivier a day off, as well as coins for the entire staff so they too could be by themselves. Then he and Loki had locked themselves in their large chambers and had a gentle, slow day.

Since they were drenched, the two slipped into a bath and warmed up, the rain slowed to a drizzle then and afterwards, they just … didn’t bother dressing.

So there they lay now, before the gentle fire in the hearth, a rug draped over their bare bodies, entwined sensually with one another. There was a soft fur underneath them and Loki loved the way it tickled his skin, softly caressing him. He had his head on Thor’s arm, trapped by the way he had hooked one large leg around Loki’s bare hips and his other hand, which stroked his cheek and hair in alternation.

And those eyes.

Those gorgeous, beautiful eyes watched him with so much love and devotion Loki could hardly believe it.

He knew those eyes had been tired the last few days so this look, the way he stared was all the more cherished.

A soft chuckled escaped Thor’s lips as his knuckles traced over Loki’s faint lines and Loki looked at him.

“What?”

“Nothing” Thor smiled “Just … slightly difficult to believe you are here in my arms today. After the month I had, I only ever found you asleep”

“I know, darling” Loki followed the ink on Thor’s skin with a finger “I’m sorry you had to work so hard”

“Don’t be” Thor moved his hand up and tucked Loki’s hair behind his ear “If I didn’t I wouldn’t have realized how bad a King I would have been”

Loki frowned and looked at him “Don’t say that…”

“It’s true” Thor said “I was ill prepared and this was a reality check. Father can take the throne back now and undo what damage I do but once I am King, that will not be possible. I have to learn and get better”

Thor was not wrong, Loki conceded so he said nothing.

“Not to mention” Thor caressed his jaw “the way I realized I hadn’t cherished you enough”

Loki blushed at that “Stop it, Thor, you have more to be thankful of than me”

“Be that as it may, I vow to be better” Thor told him “For both you and Asgard”

He lowered his head and nuzzled Loki’s neck, making him smile. His eyes closed, however, when Thor started to place kisses on his neck and pushed him on his back.

The rug over them covered them perfectly as Thor moved his large body to hover over Loki’s his huge shoulders straining to hold himself up as he licked Loki’s neck. He placed large, open mouthed kisses on his throat, extracting the most gentlest of sighs from Loki.

He felt Loki’s cool hands on his arms, his back and prompted him to spread his legs.

Loki did and he whimpered softly when Thor grinded against him and waved a hand to produce a vial of sweet smelling, golden oil appeared beside them. A delighted shudder went through him when Thor picked it up and opened the cap with his teeth and set it down.

Loki watched him dip two fingers in and saw the way it glistened on his fingers, sliding down his wrist as he moved it back beneath the sheets.

He bit his lip when Thor gently pushed a finger inside him, his hands raking his back and a low moan escaping him when Thor started to thrust, adding the other not a few moments later. Once inside him, they massaged the sweet spot within Loki, that bundle of nerves that made him feel like he would cry.

“Thor…” he whimpered.

Thor kissed him, silencing him and Loki dug his nails into his back when he spread his fingers inside him. A cry escaped his lips and he arched his neck, clenching around Thor’s fingers.

“That’s it sweetheart, come on…” Thor nipped down his lines “You’re loosening so beautifully”

He went in deeper and pressed harder against that spot, making Loki sob, his back bowing in pleasure.

“Please…” Loki begged “Thor, yes…”

He could hardly breathe, he was aroused and he whined in need. It was taking too long for him, Thor was making him suffer for no reason, it was unfair.

Yet, the prince took his time, not slowing down nor speeding up, keeping that same steady pace with which he prepared his lover. He loved the gasps, the choked cries and the way Loki’s nails dug into his back, leaving marks in their wake.

The furs were deliciously soft against Loki’s back and when he felt Thor’s hands cup his rear and pull him towards him, he moaned at that feel as well. It was delightful, soft, gentle, a kiss over his lines, leaving tingling sensations through him.

That, coupled with Thor’s battle rough hands lifting his hips, making him bend his legs and leaving him open was an experience in itself.

Thor was hard and Loki hissed as the prince slowly pushed into him, slow and tender. He held Thor’s arms, handled the way he was, there was little else he could do.

Thor parted him deliberately, making a heavy groan escape his lips and his eyes close. Thor filled him, he was never going to find another lover, should he ever feel the need to, who could ever sate him the way Thor did.

When he began to move, Loki could do nothing to muffle his throaty moans or the gasps that allowed him the air he needed. He panted and writhed against the fur, lifting himself up to Thor, wanting _more._

And Thor gave.

Harder, faster, deeper, he pushed in and rocked Loki on the fur, stimulating his already sensitive body with touches and kisses and caresses that left Loki gasping before his release.

And of course, once was not enough, Thor took him twice before he let him rest and even afterwards, he wanted more.

Loki lay on his front on the rug, naked, enjoying the things Thor did to him with his mouth as he watched the fire. Thor was between his legs, his hands lifting his hips as he buried his lips against Loki’s channel, slowly arousing Loki’s spent body again.

Most of the afternoon was spent like that, then they had a bath and lay in bed where Thor revered Loki with unending kisses, leaving his lips swollen and tingling.

He couldn’t have enough of Loki and Loki, who had been a month without this, didn’t have the heart to stop him.

It never occurred to him that something was looming on the fringes of their happiness, waiting to ruin it the first chance it got.

***

Another morning was given free to the prince, when Odin decided to make an entrance. He was of course, aided by Bestla and Balder, proving to the Council and anyone who was there that he was not so easily downed. He was King and a warrior before that, there was no way for him to stay in his bed when things were waiting to be done.

That was how Loki found himself bedded again, this time he lay on his front, Thor’s hands on either side of his head as he pounded into him from behind.

The headboard hit the wall behind it with the force of their weight and the power of Thor’s thrusts. Loki’s hips were lifted and his body trembled with each long, measured push of Thor’s powerful body and sob after sob of ecstasy escaped the younger man, his hands pulled at the sheets, his body pliant beneath Thor’s.

He spent himself on their sheets and was jolted on the bed when Thor still kept going.

He rocked the bed, biting on Loki’s lines and his shoulders as he climax over took him and he fell upon Loki afterwards, panting against Loki’s ear, his hands skating over Loki’s arms till they could hold Loki’s tightly as the two caught their breath.

Fantastic, it was unbelievable.

Loki’s soft gasps for breath were music to his ears and Thor kissed his head and pulled out of him, rolling off.

Only, he rolled a little too hard and his shoulder collided with Loki’s bedside table, knocking off a small glass box.

“Oh damn” Thor whispered, sitting up and looking down.

“What happened?” Loki frowned, looking up “What broke?”

He turned his head and saw Thor’s back towards him, his eyes focused on something on the ground. He didn’t answer and that made Loki worry.

“Thor?”

Thor’s blue eyes were locked on the small, cut piece of red, floating off the floor, freed from the glass confines it was it.

A part of the Aether, small enough to hide, but big enough to damn Loki, lay right there, for Thor to see.

“Thor,” Loki scooted closer “Thor, what’s wrong?”

“What is this?” Thor rasped, his voice dangerous

Loki saw it, his face going pale when he realized how damned he was. He moved back, sitting up with the sheet to his collar as he stared at Thor. When the man turned, Loki swallowed heavily and opened his mouth to speak.

“How long have you had this?” Thor demanded

“I – I can explain”

Loki gasped and recoiled when Thor suddenly stood, looming over him, dangerous, lethal, a warrior.

“Get dressed” Thor snarled “And meet me outside, now”

That said, Thor turned to grab his robe and stormed from the room, leaving Loki behind. His eyes wide, his face pale, Loki could only rush to obey. He dressed quickly and walked out to follow Thor. Thor was there, talking to a two guards and for a second, Loki felt his heart stop because he thought they were for him.

Of course, they were not, they left to alert the King. Thor snapped the door shut behind them and turned once more to face Loki.

“I – I found it outside when I said goodbye to my mother” Loki said “it came to me, I was in the gardens and it found me, I didn’t mean to take it”

“But you did” Thor walked to him “And you kept it, here, in my room, without even telling me”

Loki swallowed heavily, a depressing sense of dread falling on him “I – “

“Did you forget?” Thor mocked, advancing on him “Was I that good in bed that you forgot, Loki?”

Loki shook his head and backed away from him, gasping softly when he felt the wall behind him “N-No, I didn’t forget, Thor, please”

A cry escaped his lips and he turned his head away when Thor slammed his hands on either side of his head.

“Then why didn’t you tell me?” Thor rasped into his ear “Do you want to be honest and tell me or should I _force_ it out of you?”

A shiver of fear went through Loki and he gulped “I wanted to see what it was capable of, I just wanted to t-test it”

“Test it?” Thor echoed “Malekith wanted to test it, you fool, and look what happened to him!”

He grabbed Loki’s jaw, making him jump and look at him with apprehensive green eyes.

“Why?” Thor hissed “when I told you to stay away from it, when I _told_ you what it did, why?”

 Loki had no answer and Thor knew it. He did it because he wanted to, plain and simple, that is what the Aether made its host do, that is why it was evil. Even in the back of his mind he knew he was wrong to yell at Loki like this, it wasn’t his fault. This entity was the one to blame, it was causing the rift between Loki’s thinking.

Loki would never have taken it if he hadn’t been chosen by it, _never_.

Thor took a deep breath and let Loki go, hating the way Loki flinched back from him.

“You are not to leave these chambers till I return” he told him “Understand?”

Loki nodded shakily, then looked at the ground when Thor passed him. His eyes, watery and afraid, closed and two thin tears fell from them, down his cheeks. His arms went around him and he stayed that way even as Thor left the chambers, dressed for the day.

He didn’t speak to Loki, but there was an unspoken command for him to move out of the way when the guards returned, the box containing the Aether with them.

Without a word, they took it away and Thor followed, not sparing Loki a glance.

And just like that, Loki found himself alone and scared that he had lost everything that was important to him. He watched Thor take the guards with him, take his hammer with him and slam the door shut behind him.

And he didn’t look at Loki once.

In his head, Thor knew it was not Loki’s fault, but the Aether was not capable of listening, Loki was. The thing was evil and it had chosen his mate, his bonded love, his husband as its next victim and the fear inside his heart was far too immense for him to handle.

His heart had been in his chest, he had lost his thinking.

He couldn’t believe how close he had been to this murderous entity, the very one that took his mother from him.

Thor hated the Aether, it was evil, pure _evil_.

He _hated_ it.

And he was terrified of it.

He was not going to lose Loki to it, he was really not.

His steps were firm as he walked towards the rooms Odin was in, the guards carrying the demon in its containment. The king had ordered Thor to see him while he had the thing with him and Thor was not going to delay it.

His hand clenched around his hammer and he strode into Odin’s office to see his father looking grim and worried.

“I want this thing off Asgard” Thor told him before he could speak “I want it away from here, away from Loki. Bury it deep somewhere in the universe, I care not where, but I want it gone from here”

“It was safe where it was, Thor, Loki…”

“It was not safe!” Thor snapped, his jaw tight “It was there, in my room, it was right next to me for gods know how long! It’s taking Loki as its host, I will not allow it. We need to destroy it”

“There are worst beings out there, searching for this thing” Odin told him calmly “Tossing it out of Asgard guarantees that one of them get it”

“Keeping it here guarantees that Loki is consumed by it” Thor challenged “Would you have that? After what it has already done?”

“Thor” Odin sighed, trying to reason with him “Boy, I know you are afraid of this thing. But it cannot be taken from our hands, the risk is too great. Malekith had it once, we took it back at great loss. I will not risk someone else taking it”

“But you would risk Loki” Thor concluded “Father, it is madness, keeping it here. That thing is unstable, it is a demon waiting to be unleashed. Twice it has escaped its confinement, once more and I do not know how I can keep Loki safe”

“Loki must learn to defend himself” Odin said, turning to face Thor “He is strong enough, he has magic, the Aether will only take a willing host”

Thor’s face was shocked and he shook his head “How can you say that when you know what is does? You put it on Earth when you found out what it was. It makes the host willing, it lures them in, how can you stand there and say that after what it took from you”

“The Aether didn’t take he from me, Malekith did!” Odin snapped, his eye flashing in anger “And we killed him, you ended him, he is gone, thrown into the abyss between realms. If Loki is attracted to the Aether then he needs to be controlled. I am not throwing away a weapon just because your consort cannot control himself. It will stay here, deep in the Vault, with more security if it eases you, but it is not leaving Asgard. That is final”

Thor’s jaw was clenched and in the skies, thunder rumbled in response to his anger.

His hands twitched helplessly and he could only watch as the guards with the vessel the Aether was in. They looked extremely uncomfortable and Thor wanted to destroy the Aether, there had to be a way, despite him trying before.

He had to destroy it or make Odin see the truth he saw.

The Aether was a monster.

“Then if it takes from me the man I love” Thor rasped at Odin “It is on your head. You will be to blame if anything happens to Loki and I will come for your penance”

“As long as Loki is strong, it will not” Odin told him “I will personally put it where no one can get to it”

Thor scoffed “You are a fool if you think that the Aether needs someone to let it out”

He wanted to break something, but he knew if he stayed here any longer, he would only harm his father”

“I wish you could see the truth” he said sadly “That thing has to be destroyed”

Odin hummed in response and watched his son turn to go. He raised a brow when Thor stopped at the door and turned to him again.

“I am taking Loki away” he told him “Pray that when I get back, you will have seen some sense and taken that thing away from here or destroyed it. It will do no good to keep it”

Again, Odin said nothing, watching Thor leave with his cape behind him, flaring in response to his anger.

It began to drizzle slowly, the winds cooling an already cold Asgard and Odin exhaled before he looked at the Aether, then the guards.

“Come” he said, pulling a key from his pocket “the sooner we contain it, the better”

The men nodded and followed their King, keeping the item in their hands secure.

Or as secure as it could be.

Back in their chambers, Thor stood before the door that led to their suites.

His anger and fear gone, he felt guilty for snapping at Loki like that. But he couldn’t control the fear, the anger and the dread that came with looking at that thing again.

And to find out that Loki, his beautiful Loki, had kept it there, beside him all this time proved too much.

He had been unfair.

Sighing softly, Thor slowly reached out to open the door and felt his chest tighten when he saw Loki sitting miserably alone at their dining table, stirring a cup of tea. He was looking at it listlessly but when he heard Thor open the door, he looked up and tensed, dropping his gaze immediately.

That was unfair.

Setting his hammer down, Thor pulled his cape off and walked towards him, unable to decide what to say.

Loki wasn’t looking at him, he looked cautious and when Thor stopped beside him, he only tilted his head to the side a little and addressed the table when he spoke.

“I didn’t mean to …” Loki licked his lips “Thor, I’m so sorry”

A sigh came from Thor and he reached down with gentle, careful hands to hold Loki’s arm and pull him up, noting the tense way he held his body.

He didn’t look at him and Thor tipped his head up with a finger under his chin, looking into his eyes.

“Loki, I …”

He broke off, frowning when he saw Loki’s eyes were no longer green.

They were a sinister red.

He gasped a moment later when something hard and sharp went through his ribs and he doubled over, choking, stumbling away when Loki shoved him off and threw him to the floor. A knife, slim and slender, was jammed into Thor’s ribs and Loki watched, a smile on his lips when Thor huffed, groaning in pain as he tried to take it out.

“No, no” Loki teased, walking over and stepping hard on Thor’s hand, forcing it down “None of that. Leave it there, Odinson, otherwise the poison will only take you down faster”

Thor looked at him, inhaling and exhaling sharply in pain when he felt his muscles and body start to go limp.

Loki smiled, ancient patterns forming over his skin, on his face, around his eyes, the tattoos of the Aether bleeding out over his entire body, marking him like they did Malekith.

A groan escaped his lips when he felt Loki’s foot press down and the crunch of his bones snapping under the pressure.

Yet, he couldn’t move. The pain was throbbing through his hand, his mind and Thor lay back, slowly paralyzed by it, by the poison and the pain combined.

“You know, I have to hand it to you” Loki crouched by him, pressing on his chest to keep him down in case he tried getting up “You really did try to take it away from him. You made a whole incident of it, too, how adorable, but you forget…”

He reached into his back pocket and pulled out another piece, darker, larger than the one from before.

“I have magic in these hands”

“Leave …” Thor gulped, panting heavily as he felt his body begin to give up on him “Him alone…”

Loki, the _Aether_ , chuckled, cocked his head to the side “I haven’t even begun to take him from you. When I will, I assure you, you will know. This is just a warning, I am not to be contained and even taking me away from these realms will do nothing. I will find another host, then another and another until I find one as strong as Malekith. Then I will destroy you and your family and your Loki.”

The Aether smiled and reached over to stroke his cheek “Try not to die today. I look forward to a brutal end for you”

It pulled back and laughed, leaving Thor only able to watch as Loki’s eyes closed and he fell forward on his hands, glowing an evil red, watched the piece float from his hand and rise high into the air.

It separated into tiny pieces and sailed through the open window, leaving Loki and Thor behind.

Loki was panting loudly and he grunted in confusion, shaking his head and blinking his green eyes again. For a few seconds, he looked disorganized, then he gasped and looked at Thor, going pale.

“No, no, no…” he hovered over him, swallowing loudly “Thor, what….”

He saw the blade jammed into him and his mind went frenzied with panic.

He knew what.

 _He_ had done this!

“F-Forgive me, my love” Loki whispered “This will hurt, I will help, but this will hurt”

Thor had his head down and said not a word, talking just seemed unimportant now. His eyes were half closed and he groaned in pain when Loki pulled the blade out, then his hands began to glow, seeping the poison out of his body, taking it from him and saving his life.

Loki had saved his life.

Thor could now notice the feelings in his body and limbs and he hissed in pain when Loki placed a hand on his wound to help.

His hands shook, but he managed to stitch the skin lacerated by his knife back together, he managed to pull Thor up and take him to bed, then he brushed his hair back.

“I will get Eir, she can help you better” Loki told him.

He turned to leave, but stopped when Thor’s unbroken hand closed around his wrist. Turning back, Loki saw Thor shake his head.

No.

“Darling, I – you’re hurt, I have to get…”

“No” Thor rasped, pulling him close “You do it”

Loki swallowed heavily and looked down at him, at the way he held his shaking hand. He put it over the wrist of his broken hand.

“Don’t leave”

It was ridiculous not to get help, but Loki nodded “Alright, I won’t go. At least let me get the kit and aid you better”

That Thor agreed to and he looked at him as he went to the bathroom and returned, a medical emergency kit in his hands. Loki kicked off his shoes and got in beside Thor, opening the kit and starting to take out the healing stones inside.

Thor hadn’t seen it before, but Loki’s eyes were shining with tears. He could barely hold the stones in his hands, he kept trying to stay calm.

It took Loki three tries to break a single stone, then put his shaking hands over Thor’s cursing himself for this weakness in him when it scattered half on the bed.

“Forgive me” he whispered, breaking another, then another, placing as much as his shaking hands allowed over Thor’s hands, then collecting that which fell on the bed and gently rubbing it over his broken hand.

It fixed, before their eyes, Thor’s swollen, purple hand, the sick cracks of his bones snapping back together and the pain made Thor wince, but his attention was on Loki.

It might as well have been his own damned hands that broke, the way Loki flinched and averted his gaze, ashamed of himself.

When it was over, Loki gathered everything up and closed the lid, unable to gather the courage to face Thor.

And Thor wouldn’t have it.

Softly, Thor reached over and cupped Loki’s cheek, making him look at him. Those beautiful green eyes were swimming in regret and tears and Thor’s touch seemed to be his undoing.

“Thor, I’m so sorry, I didn’t…”

Thor cut him off by pulling him to his chest and Loki’s hands clenched over his clothes. His body was tense, he was so cold in fear.

“I didn’t know when it took over” Loki told him “Norns, Thor, I didn’t even know…”

Thor placed a hand over his head, keeping him close.

“It’s alright, I’m alright,” Thor said, kissing his head “Don’t blame yourself”

Loki shook his head and apologized over and over, his words cut Thor deeply.

But more than that, the fear that he had lost Loki to the Aether.

And that he couldn’t take.

***

Thor was adamant that Loki not tell anyone what happened.

Once word got out that Loki, a Jotun, hurt their prince, that was all the Kingdom would need to condemn him, possibly kill him.

So Loki suffered in silence, unable to tell a single creature of the burden he carried in his heart. Unable to tell anyone what he had done and unable to get punished because Thor was not blaming him.

It would have been easier if Thor had hit him, really.

Instead he was trapped in his own mind and self-loathing. His hands shook almost constantly and that only fueled more self hate. He hated that he couldn’t pick things up when he was upset or when they fell from his hands.

He cursed himself non stop for this weakness, hated himself for it.

Thor was in their room, reading, when he heard a crash, then Loki’s angry shout of rage, then a thud and a gasp.

“Master Loki!”

It was a maid and the distress in her voice made Thor get up from his chair, the angry snarl Loki gave to _leave him alone_ made him walk faster.

Thor walked into a scene where Loki was crouched, picking up the pieces of a broken cup, tea splashed everywhere. The knuckles of one of his hands were bleeding and a very worried maid was hovering over him, trying to get at him.

“Leave it” Thor told Loki, walking over “come with me, Loki”

He stood Loki up, making him when Loki pulled back.

“I can do it, Thor, I don’t need you to pick up a stupid cup!”

He growled when Thor yanked him up regardless and pulled him to their bedroom, snapping the door shut and leaving the maid to clean up.

“Thor, let go…!” Loki pulled on his arm, then gasped when Thor pinned him against the wall.

He found himself looking into a pair of angry blue eyes and felt his heart start to race within his chest. Thor was holding both his wrists in his hands and slowly turned his gaze to the hand that bled slowly, from the knuckles.

“What did you do this for?” Thor asked him softly “Hm?”

Loki didn’t look at him, he looked at his clenched hands, which still trembled in Thor’s grip. He hated this, he hated what these hands did and he knew that Thor was aware that he’d hurt the hand he’s stabbed him with.

Thor’s sigh filled the air before he let him go.

“Loki…”

“Let me pass” Loki told him, shoving his way out from where he was caged anyway “I have to meet your grandmother”

“Dearling, your hand…” Thor tried to reason, but shut up when Loki just stormed away, hands shaking, anger in his every step.

Sighing, and deciding to let him cool off before he fixed him, Thor went back to his seat and picked up his book.

Not that he could read a word of it, his mind was preoccupied with thoughts of his Loki and how much pain he was in. he read the same chapter thrice without understanding a single word and in the end tossed the book aside and opted to go to spar.

If nothing else, it would knock Loki from his thoughts – even if it was literally.

It didn’t much rain then, though with Thor’s mood, Fandral and the lot claimed it would, instead it remained nice and cloudy, the perfect time for a cool day outside, picnics and luncheons in the gardens were promptly planned. The gentle wind kept the air fresh and the warm teas and toasts cool for everyone who had it.

He, himself, went to spar, locating one of two of the best warriors in the vicinity and challenging them all.

At once.

“Do you think that is a good idea?” Fandral asked, hanging from the railing that surrounded the weapons shelves “They are very good and you have been closed up in the palace for a while, my lord”

Thor gave him a look as he pulled his boots on tighter “Are you saying I have grown soft, Fandral?”

“Never” the warrior smiled “why would I say that to someone enjoying marital bliss and barely leaving their chambers”

Thor gave the cheeky man a dry glare, then picked up his swords and walked off, his shoulders straighter than they had been before. Those who were opposing him seemed to think along Fandral’s train of thought and prepared themselves to go lenient on their future King.

Of course, they regretted the decision the moment Thor attacked, a series of complex spins and jumps far too graceful for someone in semi retirement startled them into true action. He spun like a dancer, graceful and confident on his feet, he brought his swords down with lethal speed and knocked their weapons from their stunned hands, all two staring at him, mouths agape.

He then turned and threw a wink over his shoulder at Fandral, who was partway between stunned and proud.

Aye, Prince Asgard was not to be under estimated.

The warriors picked their weapons up as Thor looked on, a smile on his face, beaming at their surprise. He clashed his swords together and took a defensive stance.

“Alright, boys” he grinned “Are you ready?”

They looked at one another for a few hesitant seconds, then Fandral beamed as he watched them lunge at the offensive.

It was, the warrior thought, one of the best things he’d seen today.

***

The sparring helped him pass part of the day, but his worry for Loki had never really ceased. It was there, right behind him, making him look back at it over and over even after the clock struck seven and Loki wasn’t back.

Of course, neither was Bestla, which was the only reason Thor was somewhat calm about this entire affair.

He knew Loki was in pain and unable to tell anyone of what he had done or speak of his mental torment, Loki was crashing. He was swirling lower and lower into the depths of his ocean of despair and Thor could do nothing because Loki kept pushing him back. He didn’t want Thor to help him but he also wanted some sort of reprieve from what his actions were doing to him.

The prince was at a loss of what to do.

He’d cleaned himself up and waited the entire day, hoping that Loki come back, his gaze lifting to the door at every sound, thinking he’d returned.

He was let down again and again by his own anticipation.

By the time Olivier asked about dinner, Thor was pacing and had given up all pretense that he was doing anything else other than wait and obsess over Loki.

It made the servants give him sympathetic looks as they set the table and brought the food out slowly in hopes that Loki would be here while they served dinner.

And downstairs, where the carriage has stopped, Loki was aiding out Queen Bestla, who was a giggling, snickering mess. It had been a long day where she got bored with her friends and decided to spend the day with Loki, experiencing and tasting the different tavern ales in the royal city.

She’d loved them all.

Of course, Loki didn’t drink any, he wanted his wits about him and he wanted to ensure she was safe. He’d seen more than one eye linger nastily, making him stay on alert the entire time. He would kill anyone who dared to lay a finger on her.

And he had, the last tavern they went to, he let out his rage on the unfortunate fool who had tried to take a seat with the Queen. He’d moved faster than anyone thought possible, punching the man in the chest thrice and knocking him to the floor, breathless and choking on air.

Loki had placed a boot on his throat and told him very clearly never to try something like that again.

Their guards had rushed in to take over and Loki had taken the giggling Bestla back to the carriage and instructed the rider to take them home.

Bestla kept laughing at what Loki did and even as he guided her to her rooms, she praised him over and over.

It was when he stopped at her door that she took his wrist in her hand and stopped him.

Before his eyes, she held up his injured hand and brought his knuckles up to inspect. For someone so drunk a moment ago, she was shockingly focused when she healed his hand over, leaving not a trace of his wound on his knuckles.

“You shouldn’t hurt yourself” she smiled, kissing his hand “But thank you, my darling. There are few as brave and strong as you”

Loki scoffed “I am neither brave nor strong. I am weak enough to have my own husband doubt me”

Bestla clicked her tongue and reached over to make him look at her “Foolish boy, you cannot see it. But you, Loki Jarrson, stronger than all of us, have shown me in these past weeks, these months, what you can take. You are brave, Loki, Thor knows it, I know it, hell Odin knows it, despite his stupid thinking. Just because you have a setback, doesn’t mean you should allow it to take you over and down you. Now that is weak”

Loki hummed and she pat his cheek.

“I will probably require your aid after I get over my hangover” Bestla said “Be here in the evening if you can, love”

Loki smiled “I will do my best”

One last smile, a blessing from the Queen, and Loki was walking back to his chambers where he had left his husband.

He was safe here, he had no real need to be on alert and ran his hand through his hair as he chose a less populated route back. He didn’t want to see anyone at this moment and went through the portion of the palace that was open to the public but closed now because no one was allowed to visit at this hour.

Loki sighed loudly and rubbed his shoulder as he walked past the many portraits of the royal family, displayed in the halls the people of Asgard visited. His boots clicked loudly on the way as he walked back and his mind went through explanation after explanation he would give Thor, trying to choose the most convincing one.

And since he wasn’t really paying attention, he realized far too late, that he was being followed.

Loki turned, his hands blazing with magic, spinning and standing on alert when he heard the steps. His green eyes sought out his target, narrowing as he searched, looking for the person who came up behind him.

But all he saw was an empty hall way.

Darkness, nothing else.

Yet he didn’t trust it and he illuminated the walls with a spell, pouring light into the dark, deserted hall.

Nothing

Humming and slowly turning back, but more alert than he was before, Loki disintegrated the spells in his hands.

Only to come face to face with a tall, pale Jotun, much like himself.

Loki gasped when he was pushed back and pinned against the wall, a large hand coming over his mouth and frantic, familiar eyes looking into his own.

“Ssh, it’s me, don’t panic!”

If anything, recognizing him made Loki truly panic and he shoved him off, staring at him in shock, pain collecting in his chest.

“Angrboda” Loki gasped, a hand over his heart, balancing himself against the wall when he thought his legs would give out “W-What are you doing here?”

Angrboda, the Jotun who took Loki’s heart for the first time, stood there with that sheepish look on his face that made Loki’s knees go weak.

He was taller than Loki, well built, a keeper of magic, just like Loki. He had curly black hair and stunning eyes, one grey, one blue that kept Loki in love with him for so long. His lips were plump and more often than not, latched to Loki’s skin so damn long ago.

So long ago

So why was he here, after all this time, why?

Loki’s chest moved up and down rapidly and for once, he found himself at a loss of what to say, staring at Angrboda with wide eyes.

Angrboda took the opportunity and studied him. The boy was older, more mature, but his eyes still held some of the naiveté that had Angrboda leading him on for so long, keeping him to the side.

Or perhaps he hoped there was.

Either way, he softened his gaze at him and tilted his head to the side.

“Loki” he whispered “I had to come. When I found out that your father was taking servants with him, I had to come here”

He took a few steps forward but stopped when Loki tensed and shook his head.

“Do not come near me” Loki told him “What are you doing here?”

His voice was more confident this time and he stood up straighter. He was disturbed inside, seeing this man after so long, feeling the hurt, still, the humiliation and pain in his heart that came with looking at him.

Angrboda’s face became pained “Snow, please…”

Loki’s heart nearly stopped at that name, that endearment. It was whispered into his ear when Angrboda touched him as much as he allowed, it was written on his skin when he kissed his neck, it was a reminder of the shame that came with being with a man who had a wife, who was married, who had children.

Angrboda, of course, knew what he was doing and he walked closer, ignoring the way Loki looked at him.

“Snow, I know I made a mistake” he said, cupping Loki’s cheek, keeping him where he wanted “But I changed. I was looking for you for so long, I told my wife about you, I told her that I wanted to be with you, no one else, but you left. You just … vanished”

Loki looked into his eyes, hearing the words he wanted to hear so long ago.

He would have killed to hear Angrboda say this before, when he would have gone to him without a second thought.

But now – now he knew better and he shook his head.

“It doesn’t matter” Loki told him, pushing his hand away “I have moved on, Boda, you shouldn’t have come here”

“No, I refuse to believe that” Angrboda pressed closer “I cannot believe you would turn your back on what we had I refuse to believe that you would choose an Aesir over one of your own. And that – spoiled brat, over me. No, he bought you, he took you away like a possession, how can you prefer him?”

“Because he didn’t lie to me” Loki told him bluntly “and you did. Now leave. Nothing good comes with your being here”

“I am not leaving, I am not giving up” Angrboda grabbed his wrist gently but firmly “I tried to get him away from you but I failed, but I am not stopping”

Loki turned his head away and pulled at his wrist “You’re acting foolishly…”

He stopped a moment later and looked up, a frown on his face.

“What did you say?”

Angrboda smiled and stroked his cheek “Who do you think poisoned that drink? It was my misfortune that the King took it instead of Thor. Next time, I swear, I will free you from him”

Pressed to him, Angrboda felt Loki’s body tense as the younger man paled in horror.

“You” Loki gasped, feeling another, cruel sense of dread lock its claws into him “You poisoned him…”

Angrboda was standing too close, his hand was in his grip and Loki felt the world shift from beneath his feet when he realized he was trying to kill Thor.

“Unhand me” Loki told him, readying a spell in his hand “Let me go, Boda”

“No, you don’t understand, I am trying to save you from him!” Angrboda tightened his grip and growled when he fought “You fool, listen to me!”

There was a loud bang the next second as Loki lashed out, hurling a spell at Angrboda’s head. It was lethal and meant to paralyze him instantly.

But Angrboda saw his hand strike, he ducked his head, thinking Loki was punching him but when he felt that spell hurl past him and sense the power, the color drained from his face and he stared at Loki in shock.

“You tried to hurt me” Angrboda whispered

“You tried to kill my husband and poisoned my King” Loki told him, hearing guards as they came their way after hearing the bang “It’s the least I could do”

Angrboda’s face turned ugly then and his grip on Loki turned painful.

“You disgusting slut” he rasped “You’ll regret this”

Loki tensed and pushed at him but Angrboda was stronger and the next second, he choked when the man pressed him against the wall and kissed him hard, holding his hands down, using his own magic to keep Loki where he wanted.

Loki arched his back, he tried to fight but it was too late.

It was a few mere seconds, but it was far too late.

He tried to buck him off but he saw the guards halt and broke off the kiss, gasping loudly and finally, finally shoving Angrboda off him. He saw his clothes were rumpled and he brushed them down, wiped his lips with a shaking hand and stared at the guards.

“Arrest him” he ordered “he poisoned the King”

And Angrboda, who could have escaped, shook his head “No, he lies, I did not such thing!”

The guards said nothing, but Loki knew.

He knew he had been seen, he knew that Angrboda did it to get him in trouble.

It was on his face as the guards came to him.

This was not over.

Because even as he was dragged away and pleaded them for mercy, he knew he was the one who was going to get blamed.

***

Loki was the center of attention.

And he hated it.

After what he told them, the royal family, minus Bestla, were gathered in Odin’s office. Balder had nearly gone to snap Angrboda’s neck right there but Odin had halted him.

Rash actions never ended well, Odin said.

Angrboda would be dealt with carefully.

Loki hated it, he wanted to go with Balder’s decision, but he was afraid he had more important things on his mind.

Thor was silent, in a sour mood and he knew it was because the guards told him what they had seen. Possibly exaggerated it because of how much they all hated him.

The Crowned Prince was not happy and his lack of response worried Loki to a great degree.

Odin had ordered Angrboda to be thrown back to Jotunhiem.

It was, thankfully, enough to have Angrboda flip into a rage when his plans didn’t work and he cussed and hurled insults at the guards.

And to make things harder for Loki, he told him he was the one who called him here.

Lies

All of them.

But it made Balder and Odin glare at Loki.

Even if it was for a few seconds, they had looked at him with suspicion. Common sense made  them realize it couldn’t be true, of course, but it was still there.

The disbelief.

It burned into Loki’s skull as he watched the bi front from their balcony once they got home. He saw Angrboda being send back and the escort of guards with him return on their horses.

He was still, holding the railing with both hands and he could feel Thor move around inside, preparing for bed.

Dinner had been tense, Thor barely said a word and Loki barely ate.

There was something unpleasant about to unfold tonight.

And Loki didn’t have the energy to stop it.

He waited outside as long as he could, hearing Thor slam a wardrobe door and then stomp to the bed to get in.

He would sleep angry if he didn’t let out his frustration and tomorrow, it would be worse, so Loki turned and walked back, sitting on the edge of the bed and taking his robe off.

Thor was watching him, watching his every move, his anger burning inside him.

When Loki lay down and put distance between them, the prince scowled.

“How much did he hurt you?”

Loki, who had been expecting anything but, turned to look at him with a frown.

“What?”

“You have distance between us” Thor gestured to the space Loki left in their middle “has he hurt you and left marks?”

Loki lay on his back and looked up at him while Thor lay on his side, arm propping his head up.

“No…”

“Then why aren’t you here, in my arms?” Thor asked softly

“Because you are angry with me” Loki whispered “I know what the guards told you”

Thor raised his brows at him “So? Have you told me something like that?”

Loki shook his head.

“Then come here” Thor pulled him closer, then lay half draped over him, stroking his cheek, looking into his eyes “You think my love is so shallow that I would think you capable of cheating on me?”

“Your father and brother did” Loki said bluntly “and you were angry”

“Because Father was not letting me kill him” Thor lowered his head and kissed his cheek “Not because you did anything, my love”

Loki scoffed and turned his head away, feeling Thor nuzzle his cheek and his neck. He did it to hide the shock on his face, to hide the fact that Thor not blaming him was a shock.

He was sure Thor would.

“They all think I did” Loki told him softly “Word will spread”

“I will not let it” Thor told him “now look here, I want to kiss you”

He turned Loki back to him and kissed him on the mouth, slowly moving his body over his more slender one, groaning into his mouth.

“You’re so beautiful…” Thor gasped “I can’t get enough of you”

His hand buried itself in Loki’s hair and Loki tipped his head back, his eyes falling shut in response to Thor’s attentions.

“Thor…”

“I’m right here, darling” Thor smirked against his lips “I her you. Tell me what you want.”

“You” Loki chuckled, smiling when Thor rubbed his shoulder, squeezing it gently “Obviously, you, but more…”

“That is so specific” Thor chuckled against his skin, then sighed “Ah well, best start to discover what makes you cry tonight”

Loki grinned and wrapped his arms around Thor, pulling him close and making him fall over him with a startled sound.

“Loki” Thor chuckled “What are you doing?”

He snickered when Loki started kissing his hair, his head, then his cheek when Thor looked up at him.

“What are you doing?”

“Thank you, my dear” Loki told him “I love you”

Thor smirked at him and Loki let him sit up. He looked at him, head cocked to the side, a little confusion on his beautiful face.

Loki waggled his brows at him “Are you truly just going to sit there and do nothing now?”

Thor smirked “Oh you are a minx whenever you are happy, aren’t you?”

“Possibly” Loki snickered “what will you do about it?”

Thor smiled and moved closer, kissing him again and feeling Loki’s arms wrap around his shoulders once more.

***

_The voices were whispering again_

_“Do it,” they spoke, “You know he is responsible for keeping us apart. Hurt him, make him pay”_

_His hand closed around a heavy weapon, by the feel of it, it was something used in battle, on the forefront, killing his enemies._

_But when he looked, it was nothing but his own hand, clenched around the blade of a sword made from the substance inside him now._

_It was vile, it was cruel and it was powerful._

_It spoke to him as it surrounded him on all sides, making the tremors in his hands stop, making him feel stronger than he had felt yesterday or the day before or the life time that had passed._

_He was stronger._

_“He’s holding you back, he came for you when you didn’t want it, he forced himself on you, kill him”_

_Before him, chained to the floor with the red of the Aether, Angrboda looked up. He was bowing to Loki, his eyes filled with fear and regret._

_“He humiliated you, he ruined you, how dare he come back like this?”_

_Loki grit his teeth and held the weapon tighter._

_Why me?_

_He wanted to scream that but his voice was locked in his throat, only his hate pushed him forward._

_Why did you pick me to humiliate? Why, when you could have anyone else?_

_“Because you were weak and miserable” it answered, the voice “because you had no father, your mother ignored you, you were vulnerable, seeking love anywhere you could see it. You found it in him, then convinced yourself he was yours. How pathetic”_

_Loki’s grip tightened and he moved closer to him._

_Angrboda looked up at him, at the sword in his hand and knew this was the end._

_Angry hissing filled the air around them, started to get deafening when Loki recalled what he had done, what he himself had allowed him to do._

_“You want to kill him, yes?”_

_No_

_Loki just wanted him to pay, killing him would be too easy. He wanted Angrboda to remember and to regret._

_He looked at the sword and turned it into another weapon. A lethal combination of a mace and a war hammer._

_It was like Thor’s but bigger, deadlier._

_Angrboda saw it and his eyes widened. He shook his head_

“Loki, no!”

_His voice echoed, sounded like Thor’s in his head and Loki knew he was tricking him._

_Do not take his voice, Loki thought._

_Angrboda gasped loudly when Loki swung out._

_A sick crack sounded in his head and a cry of pain so pure Loki almost broke out of his rage._

_“_ Loki _!”_

_He didn’t stop._

_He swung out again, harder this time and felt the vibration of the hit up his arm, shaking his shoulder. It reverberated through him and the sound of blood gushing out of his enemy made him smile._

_He saw Angrboda fall to the floor, his head burst open and he grinned._

_His eyes were lifeless and Loki crouched down, wanting to look._

_But the hissing started to get louder and Loki cried out, dropping the hammer and covering his ears, closing his eyes as the red started to get brighter and the hissing got out of control._

_It seemed to take him over, cover him up._

_Then it stopped._

Loki gasped and looked up, his eyes opening.

Confusion lit his face when he saw he was in his chambers, on the floor, on his knees, crouched down and facing the balcony.

He was panting heavily in exertion and his arm hurt.

Out of sorts, Loki lowered his hands and froze.

He froze.

Blood painted his fingers and when he looked down, his clothes.

Blood, it was over him, glistening and still warm. His heart pounded in his chest and he looked to his side, to the weight that was sitting next to him.

It was something he saw Thor lift every day, it was so casual that he never saw it, so used to it was he.

But right now, next to him, covered in the darkest blood he’d ever seen, it was something he would never miss.

But beyond it was something worse.

Far worse

A horrified gasp escaped his lips and he cried out in terror when he saw Thor on the floor, bloodied and unmoving. His clothes were covered by blood, there was blood on the ground around him, in his beautiful blonde hair, everywhere.

There was so much damn _blood_.

“No, no, no no…”

Loki crawled to him, hovered over him and looked down, tears in his eyes, falling down his face.

“Thor, Thor, wake up, wake up” he pleaded, shaking him, sobbing when he didn’t “No, no, please. _Please_ gods, _please_ , no…”

He shook him again, trying to wake him

“Thor, please!” he sobbed, pulling him up against him

His eyes were closed and Loki hugged him to his chest, sending healing magic into him, trying to get him to wake

“Thor, please, oh Norns, please, please…” he cried, patting his bloody face “Please wake up, please, wake up…”

He wept in despair, looking around at someone who could help, someone who could get him out of this mess.

But no one was there.

It was the middle of the night and no one was there.

Nothing was there.

Save for the red crystal floating so close to Loki’s bed, glowing brightly at the sinister promise made to Thor and at the fact that it came true.

Thor would learn, if he lived, that the Aether was not something he could take away from Loki now.


	25. Run

Jotunhiem was cold, it had always been.

It was made of ice and snow, it was cold as death to anyone who wasn’t prepared for it. The winds bit and cut, the water froze the blood in their veins.

But nothing, _nothing_ was colder than this to Loki.

He was in the cells, in the lowest parts of the Aesir castle, in the barest of clothing, in the dimmest of light. His wrists were covered in bracers, he was given only the essential bit of food and water and he was cold.

So damn cold.

His hands shook constantly now, giving him no reprieve except in the exhausted sleep he got. Then he would wake and sit on the edge of the bed, waiting for something, news, death, his sentence, anything, to come to him.

His eyes were sunken in, his body was weak and his mind…stuck in a loop, going over what he had done over and over and over until he tortured himself more than he already had.

He couldn’t stop thinking about it, he couldn’t stop reliving it.

He just couldn’t

_Loki burst through the healing room doors, covered in blood, nearly giving those on duty a heart attack right there._

_“Help” he pleaded, his voice hoarse “Help, please, Thor’s hurt, he’s hurt and he’s not moving!”_

_He saw them get up and run, he led them to the doors of his room and he saw them crouch around Thor, push his hair back, checked his pulse._

_He remembered calling his name over and over, he wanted him to respond!_

_But he didn’t_

_For the life of him, Thor did not respond to his calls, he didn’t even move his head or open his eyes._

_The walk to the healing chambers was one Loki would never forget. It was endless, far too long and filled with dread._

_And once he reached there, he saw Thor’s family waiting there, all of them alerted by the guards. He saw Odin, Thor’s father, the King of Asgard, look upon him and he knew. He knew exactly what had happened. His gaze was furious and it was focused on Loki as though he could read his mind and see the thoughts  that went through him._

_Balder was a mess, his eyes were red and filled with tears, taken into Frigga’s arms so he could calm down. Eir ran in, looking haggard, her eyes fixed on the prone body of the young man before her._

_She was unable to believe it and she was shaken enough to have Bestla walk up and hold her arms, to tell her to calm herself and help him._

_They had to help him!_

_Thor was lifted onto the healing bed and Loki took a step closer, only to stop when Odin blocked his path, his eye focused on him, his hands clenched._

_And Loki backed down, trying to form a response, trying to find a way to tell him it wasn’t his fault. He had not meant to do this._

_Yet he could not, not with the evidence before him, with Thor’s blood dripping from his head with sick, damning splashes. It colored the floor as darkness colored Loki’s future._

_Loki had not the courage to look at him for more than a moment. Nor could he look at his husband or anyone else in the room. He stood alone, not even Bestla came to him for she became focused on Thor, talking to Frigga and Eir as they talked amongst themselves, trying to find a way to save their prince._

_Loki put his arms around his waist, he closed his eyes and prayed. He prayed that Thor get to live, he prayed that he survived and saw him one last time before Odin inevitably killed him._

_But his prayers, though heard, seemed to be ignored. Loki felt it most when a heavy hand landed on his shoulder and he looked up to see Odin beside him._

_Behind him were two guards, before him, Thor’s bleeding body and in his eyes, shining as brightly as the tears Loki carried, was his own guilt._

_He neither fought nor protested._

_His hands were clamped into chains, his magic was cut off with his bracers and Loki was taken to the dungeons to await his trail for the near murder of his husband._

That had been three or five days ago, possibly even ten. There was no measure for time where Loki was.

It was isolation, one he deserved and carved for himself.

The only thing he was sure of was the fact that he would be given meagre meals every now and then. That was all.

His feet were cold, his hands shook and he was alone, so damn alone, stuck in here till the end of time or until Odin finally killed him.

Both were options that he would be finished with. But he had no choice, no life beyond these cells now.

And after what he had done, he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Or perhaps he did.

He wanted one last chance to look at Thor. One last chance to touch his face.

It was all he wanted.

His eyes closed shut in the dim light and he bit back a cry of pain at what he had lost.

His body curled up and tipped to the side, falling on the bed where it lay as he wept soundlessly into the solitude, all by himself, crushed by his own actions.

And lay unable to count the days past.

The cell doors thrummed in the darkness the only light given to criminals like him.

He had moved his bed close to it and lay as close as possible, trying to gather what warmth it gave. He was cold, far too cold because his nails were turning blue.

He’d curled up tightly under the threadbare blanket, he’d hugged his pillow to his chest and tried to catch sleep as best he could.

The coughing came as no surprise.

He was bound to get sick, the way he was. It could be a mercy, one Odin wouldn’t like.

Oh, it would make the old man so angry, not being able to kill the Jotun beast, the traitor to the crown, the murderer he always saw through.

It would have given him great pleasure, seeing Loki die by the sword or hung in the town square.

But Loki, apparently had a new hand to play. He was going to die in here, alone and sick, like the dog he was.

His chapped lips curved into a smile and Loki began to laugh.

Odin was going to be so angry! It was delightfully hilarious to him as he lay there, thinking about his face.

Maybe, if he was lucky, he might see it before he died.

It made him laugh harder.

The noise was like a rasp of dried leaves, lifeless, dead and echoed in the halls, ignored by those who suffered a similar fate.

They had all been through this stage of hopelessness.

It never lasted long.

Though the laughter echoed, it was mad, it was wild. It was bound to end.

It turned into crying, desperate, hopeless crying that filled the cells to the brim.

Loki wept, hiding his face in the dirty pillow, pleading for some sort of change, for some miracle to help him out of this misery

“Please, please _please_ …”

His despair was catching on, his cough was getting worse.

But no one came for him.

He got worse, his chest whined and hissed when he breathed, his throat was dry and parched, his skin clammy. His hands were cold, shivering, his eyes red and his body grew ever weaker.

The food given to him was ignored, placed right there were they left it for him.

Three more days passed where Loki neither ate nor drank, he wasted away, quivering on the bed he was to die in.

No one came to him.

No one talked to him.

No one would.

He slept and coughed, he cried and pleaded.

He had thought, wrongfully, that Taneleer’s torture would be the end of it.

He was _wrong_.

Torture was how he was meant to die, torture was his destiny.

Hours turned into nothing now, he could lay there, frozen in one position for an impressively large amount of time, then let the darkness take over.

Often, he would wake up coughing, mostly he would wake up pleading.

Never had he thought that he would wake up to warmth.

He didn’t think it existed anymore.

There was cold, only that, latched on to him like a second life, taking him from what he knew and toss him into something cruel.

His illness grew stronger, to a point where he could no longer move without getting taken by a terrible fit of coughing, making it nearly impossible to breathe.

He didn’t sleep, not with a throat that burned and a chest that crushed him, he passed out. He woke to pain and misery, hunger pangs and a desire never to eat. It paralyzed him and kept him immobilized, it made sure he stayed within this torment, this pain and sickness.

When he passed out again, he knew not what day, time, hour or minute it was.

His eyes closed to the image of the golden barrier that kept him where he was and the sound of the way his dying heart beat uselessly against his chest.

He never thought he would ever feel warmth again, not here, not in this state.

But he did.

It came over him calmly, soundlessly, enveloping him and covering him like a blanket.

Then once more, things turned dark.

***

He woke to a throbbing agony in his head, behind his eyes and his neck. He felt sick and he felt miserable. Whenever he wanted to move, it seemed impossible to even lift his lids, much less his limbs.

His thoughts were scrambled, senseless, all over the place. He couldn’t describe them even to himself. They were flashes, an urgency deep in his chest, restlessness all over his body, tied up with a bone deep exhaustion that made it all the more torturous.

He felt like he was weighed down by his head as his body floated above and once he tried getting up, he realized it only hardened the tiredness that surrounded him. A broken groan escaped his lips and he hissed in pain when the noise burned his throat.

A gasp sounded close by, then quick footsteps and a gentle hand on his brow.

“Easy, dear” Eir whispered to him

Her palm seeped cool, healing magic into him and he whined softly, trying to open his eyes.

“You’re alright” she told him, brushing his hair back.

His thoughts began to link together under her touch, they began to form coherency in his mind. It was a slow, torturous process, but he started to think better now.

Which was saying something since he was nearly brained to death.

Doors opened to the healing room and Odin, quickly followed by Frigga, who rushed to his side.

“Thor?” Odin whispered, his eye looking at his boy “Son, can you hear me?”

Thrice, Thor had woken only to close his eyes again and break Odin’s heart. He stopped it the third time he woke and knew no one who was before him.

Odin had prayed he was in a nightmare, that he was confused and remembered them, but was lost.

However, the time it took him to pray was enough for Thor to lose consciousness again and for Odin to fall into despair, holding his son’s hand and looking at him through teary eyes.

Thor had neither responded nor woken and it made a dark cloud settle over the realm, hiding her from any and all sunshine. It was like the skies mourned for their master.

It stayed dark still, even now, only the lights in the healing room illuminated Thor’s face and his injuries, which were still healing. Odin saw the wounds and sighed, looking at Thor’s eyes as Frigga used her magic on him to check what state he was in.

It was a relief beyond words that she smiled at Odin “He’s much better this time. He’s doing very well”

The King smiled and looked at his son, brushing his hair back as Thor continued to gather his thoughts. He spoke little and though everyone meant well, it was clear Thor was losing his patience and wanted to know only one thing.

“Where’s Loki?”

His voice, once Frigga, Bestla, Balder and Eir left, was stern, his question directed to Odin, who stood there, looking over the various vials Thor had been treated with.

He didn’t look at his son, dodging the question and making it diplomatically known that he did not want to answer.

“Why?”

“I want to go to him” Thor told him, undiplomatically, that he did not care what Odin thought “Tell me what you did with my husband”

“That traitor is where he belongs” Odin said calmly, turning to look at Thor “I am not letting you free him, not after what he has done”

“What he has done?” Thor echoed, sitting up and glaring at Odin “What happened could have easily been avoided if you had just listened to me!”

“That boy has been a thorn in my side ever since he came here” Odin told him “This was the last straw. The Council has already given their sentence, he is to be executed as soon as possible”

His words fell over Thor slowly, one by one, like the weight of a thousand worlds. His lips tightened and his hands clenched into fists as he looked at his father.

“Your prejudice knows no limits” Thor rasped “You are blind, unable to see your own mistake. You should have destroyed the Aether when I told you to”

“The Aether cannot be destroyed” Odin told him grimly “Not when it is in its pure form. It is too great a power, too strong to be destroyed just like that, I will not risk its retaliation when we fail to kill it”

“Then trap it like you did before” Thor growled, pushing the covers off and getting up “Do what I ask now and keep it away from Asgard”

“I cannot do that” Odin frowned “And where are you going?”

“To Loki” Thor said, looking down at the gown he wore and going to a closet nearby to see his clothes neatly stacked there. He yanked them out and went behind a screen to put them on “Someone has to put to rights what you have done”

Odin exhaled, saying nothing until Thor emerged, looking ready to kill someone.

“You cannot do this, Thor” Odin said quietly, walking towards him “the Aether cannot be taken away from Asgard”

“Then I will destroy it” Thor looked at him defiantly “You are acting beyond reason, it is not right”

“It cannot be destroyed in its pure form” Odin repeated, looking at him in the eye “It can only be killed when the person possessed by it has ended”

Thor frowned “What?”

Realization dawned on him moments later and he went pale “No …”

Odin pressed his lips together and a moment after, Thor heard every door and window in the healing chambers lock under his magic “Forgive me, but I will destroy the Aether, like you wanted, at any and all price”

“No, you cannot do this!” Thor stormed to him, to grab his arms, but gasped as Odin faded into thin, pale light, his illusion vanishing under Thor’s grip “Father!”

“In time, you will understand” Odin’s sad gaze looked into Thor’s stunned one a few moments before the image vanished from before him

It would forever haunt him, but Odin pushed it aside as he strode to the cells, his guards and executioner behind him.

He heard something rumble and break high up above, but it was too late. Even if Thor arrived here and now, it would be far too late for him to do anything.

Behind him, three Council members, witness to the execution, were walking with him, ahead of him, Loki’s cell, where he lay weakened at Odin’s order.

He had the Aether in his hand, still in its vessel, still in Odin’s control.

“Open the cells” Odin barked at the two guards who straightened when they saw him approach.

His hand went to the lock at the vessel and he walked in with the executioner, leaving the witnesses to stay in safety. Loki lay on the bed, covered from head to toe in a blanket that granted him no warmth and a light too dim for him to see much.  There were untouched plates of meagre food placed where they had been brought in and an aura of death already surrounding him.

Up above, dull banging started to get louder as Thor approached, likely breaking through the palace walls with his hammer.

Odin took a deep breath and stepped closer, wanting this to get over with as soon as possible. The King nodded to the executioner with him, the man raised his axe, ready to bring it down upon Loki the moment Odin gave him the word to.

The King of Asgard held tight the lid of the vessel that kept the Aether where it was.

The dull thudding got louder and louder as Thor approached, the palace walls shook, magic started to smother the air.

Behind him, the other prisoners all watched the scene play out before them, stuck as close to the magic barriers as they dared.

Odin twisted the cap to the vessel so the Aether could sail free and take to the host it so desperately wanted. He pulled it free and the executioner tightened his grip on his blade, ready to bring it down the moment Odin said so.

But what happened after was something neither of them could have ever expected.

The vessel blew out nothing but air, cold, stinging, biting air and the ominous sense of defeat Odin hadn’t noticed until too late.

Soft laughter filled the room and both Odin and the executioner looked down to see Loki’s covered form laughing as he pushed the sheets off him and stood.

Nay, he floated above the ground, his bare feet a few inches off it.

“You know” his voice, raspy and cruel, added to the aura of danger inside the cell “I would have thought you were less predictable.”

He turned and Odin paled when he saw the runes on his grey skin and the red eyes that came with the Aether.

“Sadly, it’s not the case” the Aether beamed, red vapors starting to rise around Loki’s body “and for that mistake, you shall pay”

From beside him, Odin felt the scream before he heard it and he watched in horror as the executioner started to burn, melting into the floor, armor and all, the sizzling, scorching sounds burned forever into Odin’s memory.

Behind him, he heard faint shouts of horror and the guards trying to find a way in, but before they could, red bled into the walls, sealing Odin, what left of the executioner and the Aether inside. The King dropped the vessel and turned to where a little gold still remained, trying to reach it before it closed fully.

A cruel cackle filled the room as he failed and he turned to face the creature before him.

“Look at you” the Aether crooned “The All Father, the most powerful being in all nine realms reduced to running from me”

It grinned and advanced, feet barely touching the ground now.

The bed between them soared into the air, right at Odin, causing him to jump to the side to avoid it and it hit the red barrier behind him and frizzled into nothing, not a trace of it left. He groaned as he fell into the warm puddle that had been the executioner and the Aether laughed as Odin removed himself from the thick, lumpy goo with a look of horror and disgust.

“Aye, that looks disgusting” it mocked, coming closer “And to think if you had just listened to Thor …”

It crouched by him, a contemplative look on its face “Well, no, that would not help you either”

Odin lashed out then. When he’d fallen into the sick gunk, his hand had closed around the axe the executioner held. He grabbed it and struck, aiming for the Aether’s head.

But he cried out in pain when it bounced back, barely touching the thing’s head. The stunning hit instead reverberated through Odin’s arm and made him fall back, holding his shoulder and losing his hold on the weapon.

The King groaned and the Aether clicked its tongue.

“Pathetic” it sighed “I expected the King of Asgard to at least have some strength in him”

Its hand shot out after and Odin choked as he was grabbed around the throat and lifted into the air, his feet dangling a foot off the floor.

“I did hope to enjoy this” the Aether smiled “sending you to your dead wife, I mean, but I fear I have little time. I have matters to tend to, people to meet”

It started to squeeze, despite the death grip Odin had on its wrist. His throat burned, the pain was making him start to black out.

“You do remember your old friend Malekith, do you not?” it smiled “He’s alive. And I have to meet him, which I now can, thanks to you”

He saw Odin’s eye widen and squeezed harder.

“Goodbye, Odin”

Odin’s world then turned black and the last sound he heard was the metallic blast of something breaking through the red barrier and someone calling to him desperately.

***

Rain and thunder soared above them as he ran.

His face was lashed with it, his body shivering because of it. He was drenched and exhausted, but for the life of him, he was not going to stop.

Not when he was hunted.

Not when they would kill him.

Thunder roared above him as the one who led the hunt grew angrier and got closer.

Norns be damned.

He was going to die tonight.

His muscles ached and burned as he ran, but he didn’t dare stop. His hands were shaking badly and he fled blindly, from place to place, trying to hide.

A war horse neighed behind him, the lightning above brightening the forest he had run into so damn long ago.

The moment the Aether escaped, the moment he was freed and saw what he had done, he ran.

And he couldn’t go back.

Not like this.

There were tears mixed in with the rain, keeping his face numb. There was terror in his veins, keeping his body running.

Forever, it seemed, he was destined to run, never to stay in a place for long, never to be happy again.

The hoofbeats sounded louder and he, Loki Jarson, son of the most righteous man on Jotunhiem, consort of the King of Asgard – aye, King, because Thor had inherited the throne the moment Odin was pushed deep into his Sleep again – and traitor to the crown, ran.

He could hear them get closer and he knew that without his magic he was nothing. His magic was still bound, he was weak at this moment.

He heard shouts and orders behind him and looked for a place to hide.

He was close to the mountains on the other side of the forbidden forest now, keeping low and out of sight.

He ducked behind a few bushes and felt his heart clench when he saw Balder leading the small army they had to another part of the forest, one far away from him.

He barked orders at his men but Loki heard not the words. He heard the tone, the angry, furious tone.

His life was ruined.

Loki was going to die and the despair that came with the revelation was strong enough to make him panic.

But not now, not this moment, because he needed his head. He had to find a way to escape and _think_ , then start a life elsewhere.

And possibly die in spirit if not in body, when he left Thor forever.

Or more accurately, when Thor would leave him.

Because damned as he was, murderer and traitor that he was, he would still go to him if he was given a chance.

But he would never be given that chance, he had burned all hopes of that tonight and the night before.

And if he wanted any more proof, all he had to do was look behind him.

Thor was hunting him, coming to kill him.

He was never getting happiness now.

Something clicked behind him and Loki turned around, his eyes narrowed as he tried to look through the rain and darkness. The wind was picking up, too and if it went on like this, Loki would have a chance at escaping since the hunt could be called off.

All he had to do was look for a place to hide until then.

Thunder roared up above again and spurred Loki into moving, once more pushing past the pain, despair and rain, to find himself a spot to sleep in for the night.

Somewhere warm, if he was lucky.

The mountains were freezing but they were closer than he thought. However, between them and Loki, was a stretch of plains that would never hide him. If he stepped on them, he would be seen immediately.

Yet, behind him was an entire army was waiting for him, ready to kill him the second they saw him. He could hear them even now.

Once more, flashes of lightning called to the thunder and loud rumbling filled the air, shaking the trees and the ground Loki stood on.

Thor’s anger was almost palpable by now.

Loki looked behind him again, at the thick forest, where his life, his love and his safety had all once been. He’d ruined it now and ahead of him lay cold, mountains and loneliness.

It felt as dismal as it looked.

The men would only be coming closer and Loki sighed as he took a step forward and into the plains. The ground was soft and he would leave a clear trail but right now, he cared naught.

He walked forth, hunched over and doomed, into the tall grass fields that were desolate and empty.

His boots crunched in the roots of the grass and squelched in the mud. He was tired already and the rain was not stopping, so neither was he.

The plains seemed to stretch forever, pushing the mountains farther away from him as he walked the space between them.

It was nearly black now and Loki longed for the warm bed Asgard offered him and the comfort Thor’s arms gave him.

His throat constricted in pain and when he blinked, hot tears spilled down his cold cheeks, falling with the rain drops that pelted him.

He was dying.

Loki was truly dying.

More thunder and lightning crashed above him, giving him a brief respite from the darkness.

And Loki wished it hadn’t.

Because there, illuminated by the few seconds of lightning and as drenched as he was, stood Thor - blocking his path. His hammer was beside him and even from here, Loki could feel the anger he gave off.

The wind picked up and Loki saw it sway his drenched cape, saw the muscles in his arms bunched up with the effort of keeping himself in control.

But his eyes, those were focused on Loki even in the dark.

And they were filled with anger.

Loki could feel his heart stop and a cold sense of dread washed over him while he stood there, rooted to the spot, facing off against his husband.

The wind and rain surged between them like a war banner, shining in the lightning when it flashed, the roaring of the wind and the shrieking thunder were like cries of battle.

And Loki stood in the middle of it, weaponless and soon, probably, lifeless.

His heart pounded in his ears, his hands clenched tightly as though he had a weapon in his hands, his eyes fought to catch sight of Thor in the moments that were still his. In the moments where he still had a faint hope that Thor would not kill him.

Of course, that broke when Thor took a step towards him.

Loki lost all sense then and he turned tail and ran, running being the only thing that made sense to him.

His steps were clumsy and he was utterly terrified, especially when the rain picked up and the thunder got impossibly louder.

Clouds gathered above them and lightning zapped in the air.

It flashed, burning the skies, then the ground when it fell a few feet before Loki, whitening out his world and the frizzling covering up his shocked cry.

He was back in that _chamber_ and he couldn’t hear his own screams again.

Loki’s legs gave out and he fell down hard in the mud, covering his ears and whimpering. His body was wrecked with shivers and his useless hands trembled. Loki squeezed his eyes shut and tried to block out the horror he was going through.

But the rain pelted down on him hard, the wind chilled him to the bone and the thunder never stopped rumbling. He couldn’t breathe and he couldn’t think, his world shook and quivered while Loki lay there, begging for it to be over.

His voice was lost in the raging elements around him, he was lost to all sound other than the torturous ones and did not hear Thor come closer.

He felt a hand rest on his shoulder and he curled up, a small noise of distress escaping his pale lips.

The rain stopped, a circle forming over them to keep them dry as it fell upon the world, still.

Thor was crouched by him and carefully pulled him up, ignoring how badly Loki tried getting away.

“Hush” Thor said sternly “You’re fine, stop whimpering”

Loki tensed when Thor pulled him up and into his arms, not even giving him a chance to get away.

“Stupid fool” Thor muttered as he trudged back, leaving them protected from the rain and wind “You will be the death of me”

His feet squelched in the mud beneath them and Loki could feel the anger in his body as Thor carried him back.

Common sense told him he was to hang.

But his heart held a little hope that he would be alright – somehow.

And it was this hope that made it easy for him to stay still, watching as Thor took him to his horse, then back through the rain and wind, to Asgard.

The journey to him was tense and filled with dread, so it was over pretty quickly and before he knew it, he was back in his chambers, sitting on the bathing room, soaking in the hot water of the tub and listening to Thor argue with his brother.

He could hear them both yell at each other and it didn’t take a true scholar to understand what it was about.

“You cannot be serious!” Balder snapped “He tried to kill you, then Father, how could he even think of being here instead of the cells!?”

“By my order” Thor snarled “I am King, not you, not the Council, I am. So the more you argue with me, the worst it will get for everyone. I removed one head tonight, do not force me to remove another”

There was stunned silence, then Balder snarled.

“You are making a mistake” he said “Everyone knows what he did, you cannot hide it”

“Everyone knows what the Aether did” Thor said “And instead of blaming him, maybe invest time in looking for that thing”

There were more angry words, then Loki jumped when Thor slammed the door shut and walked back. His husband was still drenched and Loki looked to the water when he came to the bathing room, taking off his wet cape and letting it fall to the floor with a loud plop.

It occurred to him that Thor was getting in with him and Loki quickly moved to get out of the tub.

“Stay where you are” Thor growled as he pulled off his armor “I’m _not_ done with you”

Loki pressed his lips together and sat back, watching Thor as he undressed completely and got into the water. He hissed as his cold skin met the hot water and sunk in deep, sitting opposite Loki. His blue eyes were focused on Loki and he noticed how the Jotun wouldn’t look at him.

“So you won’t even look at me now?” Thor asked “After running away from me, you won’t even look at me?”

Loki swallowed heavily and kept his gaze on the water.

How could he look at him? The last time Thor saw him, Loki was swinging his weight at his head, braining him leaving there, lying in a puddle of his own blood. How could Loki look at him and not see what he did to his father?

How could he speak to him knowing what he had done with his own two hands?

He would have to be a true bastard to have the courage and shamelessness to look at his husband, his King, now.

Thor hummed and sat back a moment, watching him. Behind him, thunder rumbled dully and he reached for the soap to wash himself. When he turned his head, it showed clearly the scar upon his temple, where his head had been bent in and Loki saw it.

A lump formed in his throat and Loki had to inhale deeply, staying very still in the water, even though his hands trembled and made the water ripple. He could hear Thor washing himself and taking his bath, but he couldn’t lift his gaze.

For his part, Thor was trying to be calm but every time he looked at Loki and saw him looking at the water, his anger got stoked.

This idiot had run from him. From _him_ , like he was some sort of monster. It hurt and he had so damn much to say but he knew that if he did right now, it would only hurt him and Loki.

So he forced himself to take a bath and calm down as much as he could, then looked at Loki.

He was still even now, it seemed like he hadn’t moved a muscle except for his shaking hands.

And a sniffle.

He looked thin and starved and Thor could see the knobs of his spine. The sight chipped at his anger and he sighed softly.

“Get out of the bath” he ordered “you look starved to death”

Thor stood, not expecting Loki to give a response.

“If only I was that fortunate” Loki whispered, still looking at the water “after what I have done, who would care?”

“Who would care?” Thor repeated, stunned as he turned to him “What does that mean?”

Loki looked at him balefully “Oh do drop the act, Thor. After what I did, you would be mad to care for me or come after me and not punish me. I know Asgard wants my head on a pike, I know everyone hates me, no one wants me to live, no one cares. I understood that well enough when I was thrown in that cell and left to die. So please just save your breath, don’t tell me you care or want me to live because –”

“Because what?” Thor snapped angrily, taking a step to him “because you got possessed by the Aether and nearly killed me? Because you put Father into his sleep, is that what you are going to say?”

Loki looked up at him, heated green eyes shining in the light “Would I be wrong if I say it? Was it not by my hands that you and your father got so horribly wounded? Is it not my head that they are after? Not my blood that they want spilled? What will you gain by this – this blind stupidity? By believing in me and coming after me all the time? Why am I not being punished the way your brother and all Asgard want me to be? Why are you protecting me?”

Thor’s jaw was tight and he glared at him “If you do not know the answer to that, then you are stupider than I thought, Loki.”

He stepped out of the bath and went to put on his robe, tying it in frustrated, angry movements. His back was to Loki but he could feel his green gaze on him so he turned to face him.

“You want to give Asgard what it wants?” Thor asked “Then go, run away, let them capture you, hunt you, tie you up and bring you back here. But know that when that happens, you will not be the only one to die. I will die with you, our bond ensures it. So go, do what you want, damn us both. Let them punish you the way you apparently want them to, don’t stay here where you are safe and protected, be the fool, do the _noble_ thing. But remember that my fate is tied to yours and that despite your immense stupidity, I do not blame you, I will never blame you because this is not your fault. Believe what you want but this is the truth”

Loki’s face was tight with anger but he said nothing, instead he chose to watch Thor storm away.

It didn’t matter what Thor said.

Loki was going to be damned, if not tonight, then some other night. But he would be.

He would be damned to hell and he was going to take Thor with him.

Such was his cruel fate.

***

It was late that night, closer to dawn and heavy with grief and anger. Thor’s mind was pent up with the loss of his father, the near loss of Loki his own injury. It had been the worst day of his entire life.

So it was no surprise that he found it nearly impossible to sleep.

His body was exhausted, his mind was not. Every time he closed his eyes, he would see flashes of Loki attacking him, holding that damned weight, bashing his head in, that insane smile upon his face.

He would see his own blood spray Loki’s clothes, his hair, he could feel the cruel thud and the crushing pressure applied to his skull.

And he could feel his skull give way.

Thor was sure he was going to die then, he had been sure of it. How he had survived was nothing less than a miracle and these nightmares were expected.

They burned into his head, rendering him sleepless, restless and more than a little afraid.

His eyes were open, looking at the patterns on the floor caused by the clouds shifting outside. They dulled and brightened, mesmerizing him, hypnotizing him and giving him a gentle hope that perhaps he could get some sleep tonight.

A tired king was no good to his kingdom.

His brain was numb for the moment, as his body had been most of the day.

Discovering what had happened and then discovering that Loki had run was one of the worst things he could have heard. First, Odin’s betrayal stung him, then Loki’s.

He had not forgotten that his father had gotten hurt because he was ready to kill Loki, the man who was Thor’s heart, his life and soul. He was everything to Thor and Odin was going to get rid of him, crush him like he was some sort of insect.

How cruel a man his father was, really.

Thor licked his lips and sighed deeply, still looking at the shades and lights moving across the floor.

And Loki …

That complete idiot. He had run and even now he believed Thor would leave him to the people to hurt, thought Thor didn’t care, thought so many things about himself that Thor didn’t know what to do. He wanted to shake him and scream at him but it would do no good.

Loki had to believe for himself that Thor would never leave him, never.

He heard Loki shift in sleep behind him and closed his eyes on the off chance that Loki was awake. He really didn’t want to talk to him right now, his words earlier had left him sore.

But, as it was, he felt Loki’s gentle hand on his shoulder, shaking him ever so slightly.

“Thor?”

Thor didn’t respond, he kept his back to Loki but the Jotun shook him again.

“Are you awake?” Loki whispered, sitting up and looking at him.

That voice and touch tempted him so sweetly but for once, Thor ignored it. He kept his back to Loki and stayed silent, pretending to be asleep.

And after what seemed like eternity, Loki pulled his hand back and lay down again.

But Thor might as well have placed a wall between them.

Neither of them slept that night, they lay there, with their backs to one another, both of them in varying degrees of pain.

It lasted for _days_.

Thor did not blatantly avoid Loki, he was just so annoyingly polite that it made Loki grind his teeth. He bid him good morning every morning and left and returned at dinner, said good evening and talked only when Loki initiated it.

It hurt Loki, it made him sick, it made him want to throw up and it made him want to cry. He wanted to scream and hit and punch him because he was not wrong!

Thor was the one who was being an idiot, not Loki. Loki was right, he was realistic, Thor was living in a world of his own. Asgard hated him and the moment Loki would step outside, they would be there, with knives and pitchforks, ready to set him on fire for daring what he had.

He knew Thor was not telling him everything and he hadn’t the courage to ask him directly what exactly he was protecting him from.

He hadn’t the courage to accept how much Thor cared and why. He had a feeling that the moment he accepted and was happy, it would be snatched away and he would be left on his knees, staring at his shaking hands.

Thor couldn’t care so much.

He couldn’t.

And somehow, it was easier to have Thor ignore him like this than to face the fact that despite what Loki had done, Thor hadn’t harmed a hair on his head because he loved him that much.

It was a blessing and curse for them to go to bed alone together. It was a blessing and a curse when he looked at him from across the dinner table and their eyes met. It was a blessing and a _curse_ when Thor caught his eye and Loki had to look away, a knot forming in his stomach.

It was a curse at night, when he was so close to him and so far. He knew Thor felt much the same since his eyes were tired every morning and he often stared listlessly at his breakfast until Olivier came to say something to him or prompt him to eat.

He didn’t say anything to Loki and Loki knew he was just as angry as everyone else. He hated him just as much as Asgard did.

Two weeks after Loki was brought back by Thor, it rained. Thor had nothing to do with it this time and lay in bed, next to Loki, watching the misty shadows of the rain reflected on the floor again. Lightning sparked, thunder roared distantly and though these were his elements, he was unable to relax.

Because Loki was behind him, radiating pain.

And, like him, still awake.

Thor’s shoulder felt stiff and he turned, coming to a startled halt when he bumped into the warm body of his husband. He turned to look involuntarily and saw Loki quickly go back to his side, scuttling away from him and curling up.

Thor hadn’t meant to look, but now that he had, he couldn’t look away.

Loki looked so sad, so terribly upset as he lay there, in the corner of the bed so Thor wouldn’t even accidentally touch him. His knees were pulled to his chest, his arms were around him as he refused even the covers Thor had taken.

Tonight had been cold and Thor realized that Loki had moved close to him for warmth secretly so that Thor would not know.

It made his throat clench and he sighed softly when he saw Loki raise a hand from where he held his arms and wipe his face.

He was crying.

And it was all Thor’s doing.

His mouth parted slowly in hurt and he moved over, jolting the bed and alerting Loki, since he saw him tense, till he could put his arm around his waist and pull him back.

“No” Loki’s voice was thick and he pushed at his arm “No, let go...”

But Thor didn’t and he pulled him back against his chest, even as Loki pushed at his arm.

“Leave me alone” Loki ordered, trying to get away “you _don’t_ touch me, you hate to touch me”

His voice broke at the last word and he shut up, making Thor shake his head. The King pulled him into his arms and draped himself over him, forcing him to stay put. This way he could see the pain he put there and he felt it hurt him, too.

“Loki…”

“No, don’t talk to me, not after ignoring me for two weeks, you can’t talk to me!” Loki whined, pushing at him.

But with Thor’s girth, there was no way Loki was getting out. So he tightened his jaw and refused to look at Thor even as the man brushed his tears away.

“I’m sorry” Thor told him, stroking his cheek “Loki, I –”

“Leave me alone!” Loki snapped “Go do spar or rule a kingdom like you love to, leave me here alone.”

Thor said nothing, he wrapped himself around Loki, trying to meld them together. His hand kept stroking his cheek and it hurt that he felt warm tears on his thumb every time he moved it over Loki’s high cheekbone. It hurt that they were fighting so much, it hurt that they were so damn angry with each other.

Thor let out a soft noise and set his head down on Loki’s shoulder, feeling the other tense under him. Loki was stiff as a board, still fighting him, still angry, still hurt. He was looking at the window before them, Thor was looking at the bed.

He could see Loki’s pale hands against his sheets, trembling in his distress and for once, Thor doesn’t know what to do. Loki had rejected his apologies just like Thor rejected his presence these past two weeks. They both hurt each other and now neither of them knew what to do.

They lay there, pressed against each other, though Thor was sure Loki would want to run away, unable to look or speak.

Thor licked his lips and parted his lips to speak.

“Don’t” Loki told him “Don’t speak unless you wish to fix this, I am done with you leaving me.”

Thor sighed “I was going to apologize”

His words are lame, but for the moment Loki does not care how they sound.

“What good would that do?” Loki asked him, his green eyes still focused on the window “It won’t change the past, it won’t change anything you have done or said. Why bother?”

“Because I love you”

Loki snorted that that, scoffing afterwards “Do you, really? Was there love in this ignorance and anger?”

“There was love in forgiveness and protection” Thor told him softly “I would never let them hurt you”

“Aye, you save that only for yourself, what an honor” Loki said “I should be grateful”

Thor sighed again and moved his head enough to kiss the spot he was stroking. It was flushed and warm, soft between his lips.

Loki’s eyes slid closed and a long breath escaped his lips.

“Kissing doesn’t solve everything” he said

Thor kissed him again, rubbing his lips over his cheek, then moving it lower, tracing the path of his tears till he reached his mouth.

Loki let him, missing this kind of touching, this caressing, this care and attention.

“You left me” Loki said softly “After saving me, you just left”

“I know” Thor whispered.

“Why?” Loki asked, tilting his head when Thor kissed his mouth “Were you that angry?”

“No” Thor kissed his lower lip “I had other reasons”

“Will you tell me those or leave me in suspense?” Loki demanded, letting Thor kiss him.

“I’ll tell you” Thor said “After”

“After what?” Loki asked suspiciously.

He gasped the next moment when Thor pinned him down and kissed him hard, his hand holding his jaw and keeping him where he wanted.

 ***

Loki felt the air pushed out of him when Thor climbed over him. His weight pressed him deep into the mattress and pulled from him his loneliness.

He shivered when he felt Thor’s soft lips mouthed at the skin of his neck and his battle worn hand caressed his jaw. His body felt lighter, the fight that was so important to him a moment ago faded to nothing.

And it only got better from there.

A few minutes later, Loki was gasping, whimpering, his legs having fallen open as Thor’s head moved between them. His large hands held his thighs apart as he pleasured him with his mouth. Loki’s hands buried into his hair and he pulled, lifting his hips as much as Thor allowed.

“Thor, please…” Loki gasped “Oh, _please_ …”

His eyes were squeezed shut, his mouth parted, wet and swollen from Thor’s earlier kisses, his neck colored with bruises that Thor printed there. And his body desperate for him.

He was on fire, arching and bucking for Thor, feeling him lick and kiss his arousal, suck and nip at it so expertly that it drove him insane. It left him shivering, left him unable to remember his own name as he continued.

He came then with a cry of Thor’s name and his hands leaving bruises on his hips.

Thor was far from done.

Sharp, soft cries filled the room once more as Loki lay on his front this time, a pliant, gasping mess as Thor continued this exquisite torture.

He had his lips placed on Loki’s channel, slick from Loki’s release as he licked him, his jaw moving continuously as he went on. Loki was panting into the mattress, his hands pulled at the sheets and his body at Thor’s mercy.

And Thor was insatiable. He continued till his jaw hurt, till Loki dripped his slick down his thighs, till he begged him for release.

And then he only made it worse as he pushed his fingers into him, rubbing that spot inside him that had Loki sobbing into the pillows.

Too much, it was too much, he couldn’t take it!

Yet, Thor was not finished.

Loki was spent and exhausted, his body quivering as he lay there, a pleasured, whimpering mess. He was tired, his eyes hooded, his face flushed when Thor climbed over him, burying his face into his long neck and moving his huge body over Loki’s.

A sharp cry escaped Loki’s lips and he tipped his head back when Thor pushed into him, parting the channel he had previously enjoyed with his mouth. He still made Loki feel so full and the Jotun whimpered loudly as Thor bit into his neck as he fully seated himself inside him.

It made him shudder and he held onto Thor, his nails raking down his back, his arms the moment Thor began to thrust. He jolted Loki on the bed, each drive of Thor’s powerful body brushing that sensitive spot inside Loki. It made Loki’s eyes roll back in his head and made him lift his body to match each thrust.

It was fantastic, but far from over.

He rode him then, kissing Thor hard, biting his lips, leaving marks on his neck as he forced Thor on his back and sat astride his lap. Thor’s hands were settled on his hips, moving them the way he wanted and Loki scratched his chest, kissed over the ink on his shoulders, sucked marks over his neck, yanked on his hair and heard him _moan_.

And gods, that sound was stunning.

Loki loved it, he wanted more of it and he clenched around Thor, listening to that throaty, deep noise, the slight catch in his throat as Thor enjoyed what he did.

“Aye, Jotun” Thor rasped “Keep going”

So Loki did, he undulated his hips, each motion pulling another cry from Thor as he grinded down on him, rolling his hips the way he wanted. Thor would demand another and Loki would give, keeping him panting, gasping, arching beneath him.

Thor was hot, his heart was beating with pleasure, pounding in his chest when Loki raked his nails down his pectorals, he felt it.

And he was doing this, no one else, only Loki.

Thor moved his hands up his back, scratching down it till Loki arched his back in response, his head thrown back, his nails digging into Thor’s skin, leaving their marks.

Beautiful, Thor could look at Loki like this forever, memorize his movements and the way he cried out for him, called for him and needed him.

He could freeze this moment forever, that was how beautiful Loki was, how stunning he looked at this moment.

A litany of each other’s names were on their lips, cries of pleasure and exhaustion filled the air and with it, the soft, wet sounds of their kissing.

Loki had his hands on either side of Thor’s head and he swayed his hips, pushed down on Thor when he wanted him to ride him harder and kissed him when he groaned in pleasure.

“Yes…” Loki whispered “Keep going, you’re doing so good”

With his hand, Loki stroked himself, smiling when Thor’s gaze went to it instantly. The beast, he was, he liked this.

“You like …” he gasped, his eyes closing when Thor pushed up hard against him “Gods, yes…you’re vile”

“You love it” Thor answered back.

He continued driving into Loki, kissing him where he wanted. Loki cupped his jaw and he grabbed his hand, kissing his palm as they moved as one, tighter, closer, more intimate than before.

The air was filled with their combined cries, their gasps, their moans as their slow movements went on, turned more heated with each passing second.

His hands pressed harder on his hips, moving them forward, then back, so slowly it was torture for both of them.

Loki was close, he could tell now, the way his body shivered and the way he made all those sharp, cut off little noises in the back of his throat. It was apparent in the way he stroked his own throat, the way he bit his lip and let his head fall back.

He was close, so close.

Thor held him about the waist and yanked him down so he could kiss him properly, his hand going to where their bodies met. It skated over Loki’s back and touched his entrance as it spread around his thick member.

Loki keened, whimpering into his mouth as he spread his fingers over his slick lips, sobbing as it stimulated it further. He tried pushing away but Thor held on, keeping him pressed against him, hearing him gasp and pant desperately into his ear when he broke off the kiss.

“Alright” Thor said, keeping up his thrusting and that torment with his fingers “Cum”

Loki did.

Gloriously, he came over Thor, gasping his name over and over and moaning against his skin. He was jolted by the last of Thor’s thrusts and whimpered when Thor bit his shoulder as he released, spent himself inside Loki’s sore, sated body.

Their world was hazy and white and filled with pleasure, their problems forgotten and behind them.

Vaguely, Loki remembered Thor pulling him down and close to him again, stroking his hair, kissing him again.

His mind was buzzing with sweetness and his body was thrumming in relaxation.

And he was so tired, the bone deep anxiety and exhaustion gone from him.

It was wonderful.

And with that in mind, Loki slowly drifted off to sleep as Thor continued to nuzzle him and kiss him, murmuring words of love to him the entire time.

***

The next morning, Loki could barely look at Thor without recalling how good last night was. And Thor, the right idiot, knew it. He knew what Loki imagined every time he looked at him, he knew what he was thinking, his words would come back to him, so would Thor’s.

It was a night that Loki would get teased about for a long, long time.

But he didn’t mind it as much as he pretended to. He didn’t mind that after breakfast, Thor pulled him into his lap and kissed him till he couldn’t breathe. He didn’t mind that he took his hand and walked with him in the empty parts of the palace.

He didn’t mind that Thor smacked his bottom when he was passing by on his way to bed at night, though he gasped and attacked Thor immediately.

Which was, apparently, what Thor wanted.

Loki yelped as Thor caught him mid attack and tossed him to the bed, pinning him down with his weight and smiled at him.

“That was not nice” Thor smiled “You almost assaulted me”

“Oh and you slapping my arse was so chivalrous wasn’t it?” Loki ssaid, trying to buck Thor off, but not really.

He rather liked his weight on him.

Thor smirked “Don’t pretend you don’t love it”

“I don’t” Loki lifted his chin in challenge “I hate it”

“I bet you do” Thor said, lowering his head to his throat and smiling at the way Loki hissed

“You’re insatiable” Loki complained, running his hand up Thor’s nape to tug on his hair.

“Hmm, it’s all your fault” Thor licked his neck and bit it, then slid his lips up to his ear to nip at it.

“Beast” Loki smiled at him, caressing him where he could.

It was wonderful, it was stunning and the last thing Loki expected then was a bout of dizziness and something akin to nausea rising inside him.

Thor yelped as Loki shoved him off, bounced on the bed when Loki fled to the bathroom without a single glance back.

“Loki?” Thor frowned at the door “Are you alright?”

He heard the sounds of retching and shot to his feet, trying to open the door but found it locked.

“Loki, open this door!” Thor pounded his fist on it.

“Wait”

Loki’s voice was raspy and for a long time, Thor stood there, listening to him move inside the bathing room. He longed to go in and see what the hell was happening but in the back of his mind, he knew the answer.

And he truly hoped it was not that.

He heard Loki wash his face, then heard him step closer to the door, till he could open it. Once Thor saw him, saw his worried looking green eyes, Thor knew it.

“Thor” Loki swallowed heavily, nervously, his eyes darting here and there “I think I’m with child”

And there, right in front of him, Thor felt his world spin.

A child

Norns be damned, Thor was going to be a father!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY
> 
> I exist again.
> 
> SO sorry for the wait but life was mean! I can explain if you like


	26. Barren

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I might be” Thor said “But you married me so what does that make you?”  
> Loki smiled, amused “I ask myself that every single day”  
> “And what is the answer?”   
> A warmth spread over Loki and he hummed a second before he looked at his husband.  
> “Besotted”

Thor was pacing. He had his hands were pressed together, fingers linked and he cracked his knuckles every now and then as he walked to one part of the healing wing, stopped, turned about, then walked back to the other. His hair was slowly coming undone as he paced, he was biting his lip raw and his eyes were darting to and fro, clearly lost in thought.

There was silence in the room, the only sounds were of Thor’s slippers clicking against the floor and of Loki’s finger tapping on the edge of the bed he was sitting in. the room was cast in dim light and the two were both unsure of what to say after Loki’s revelation.

They had both decided that it was a good idea to be sure before they said anything or told anyone. It would keep hopes from getting crushed by either of them.

But as he sat there, watching his pacing husband, Loki bit his lip, wondering what it would be like if it were true.

It wasn’t uncommon for male Jotnar to fall pregnant, especially when they were involved in a same sex relationship. The anatomy of Jotunar was primarily the same, but they changed in response to the lifestyle, herbs, and activity and personal choices of the Jotun in question.

Had Loki been with a woman, this was never a possibility, but because he was with Thor, lost his virginity – Loki still blushed at that – to him, there was a high chance that he would have fallen pregnant with a babe.

He watched Thor pace again, lightly tapping his fist into his other hand, still thinking about the possibility of this being true.

Loki wasn’t an idiot, he knew Thor didn’t like the idea, that he wasn’t ready, but he hoped that in time, he would come to like it.

They were wed, in love, nothing was truly stopping them from this, aye.

A child wouldn’t exactly be the worst thing to bring into their lives.

“Thor”

Loki called him before he knew it and blinked when Thor looked startled, as though he forgot Loki was there.

“Aye?” Thor came over, frowning “Are you feeling ill?”

“Nay” Loki smiled, then pat the bed beside him “Sit with me, your pacing is making me nervous”

He watched Thor’s face heat up and he trudged over, nudging Loki as he sat pressed to him. He put his arm around Loki’s shoulders and pulled him closer.

“Are you nervous?” Loki asked

Thor sighed a little “Not really. I just want to know already”

“So impatient” Loki smirked

Thor laughed softly and kissed his head “Perhaps”

“Why?” Loki asked “What were you thinking about?”

“This” Thor said “Us. How our lives are about to change”

Loki chuckled “They are, aren’t they? Is that a good thing?”

Thor rubbed his arm “I was thinking about that, too. I was nervous when you told me, slightly uncertain about being a father, if I be honest with you. The thought paralyzed me, being responsible for something so small, watching it for the rest of my life, devoted to it, caring about it, loving it”

“I know you are trying to make a point” Loki drawled “But if you call our baby an it again, I will hit you”

Thor grinned and laughed softly “Sorry”

“Hmm” Loki hummed and snuggled into him a little more “Keep talking”

“What I am trying to say is” Thor told him “that even though I am afraid and will likely mess things up as I have done in the past, please don’t make me give examples, this will be a good change for both of us. I didn’t think I would ever be in love or married, for that matter and look at us. Almost perfect”

Loki smirked “Almost”

“Well” Thor grimaced “I need a little work but you can do that”

“I see” Loki looked at him “Go on”

“I didn’t think that I would ever enjoy spending every moment with you and I do” Thor shrugged “I’m just not as worried as I was before. I thought I was going to get weighed down”

“You were afraid of change?” Loki asked

Thor nodded “Aye”

“What changed your mind?” Loki looked at the floor

Thor looked at him slowly “You”

Loki raised a brow in confusion and Thor reached over to tuck his hair behind his ear.

“I saw you, sitting here, calm as ever, despite being afraid and nervous and possibly a little murderous because I did this to you” he said, taken in by Loki’s gentle smile “And I knew that even though I will make mistakes and likely anger you like no one else in this universe can, I will always have you. And so will this babe. I had nothing to be afraid of because this change, the one that is coming, it is most definitely good”

Loki’s smile was warm and he slowly slipped his arm behind Thor and slung it around his waist. He didn’t say anything, but Thor could feel his happiness build inside him.

“You’re an idiot”

“I might be” Thor said “But you married me so what does that make you?”

Loki smiled, amused “I ask myself that every single day”

“And what is the answer?”

A warmth spread over Loki and he hummed a second before he looked at his husband.

“Besotted”

Thor grinned and pumped his fist slowly “Yes! I win”

Loki rolled his eyes and sat there, letting Thor pull him closer as the two waited for the next change in their lives to occur.

***

The next change in their lives arrived sooner than Loki had anticipated.

And it was anything but good.

Loki had seen it the moment Eir walked in, that whatever she had to say was going to crush him, Thor and any hopes they had.

Her eyes were sad, her smile was forced, hiding behind it the grief that came with what she was about to tell them. There was no good news in the reports she held in her hands, there was no way for Loki to feel secure about a happy life with Thor after this.

It was, Loki realized, his own fault for believing he would ever be given a break.

He would never be truly happy, something or the other would always come to ruin it for him and tonight it was happening. He could do nothing to stop it, only watch as his life took  another turn, another heart break, another form of pain.

His heart was pounding in his ears, it hurt his chest, he could barely hear her.

Barely.

But he did.

He heard the word ‘sterile’ and it fell on him slowly, each syllable cracked down upon him with the might of Thor’s hammer, knocking him down, crushing it.

His face felt numb, he felt pin pricks all over his body, he saw Eir’s lips moving, he couldn’t hear her. He felt the ground give way beneath his feet, he felt Thor grab him as he started losing his balance.

Thor was calling him, saying his name, but Loki couldn’t hear him.

He couldn’t hear anything other than a raw, low noise that filled his ears. It was filled with pain and if he could see it, it would have been a sound that dripped blood, such was the pain inside it.

He didn’t know where it came from, but when Thor lay him on a bed and when Eir came to him, he realized it was him.

He was making that noise.

It came from the deepest part of him, the hurt, broken, bleeding part of his soul. He looked up to see Thor looking at him, his face contorted in pain at seeing Loki like this. His hands held Loki’s wrists and he pulled him up, pulled him into his arms.

Loki’s eyes were wide and stunned, his hands shook as they were trapped between their chests and his heart…shattered into a thousand tiny pieces.

The world slowly came back to him, the sharpest sounds reached him first then the duller ones, till he could hear it all even over the cries of his broken heart.

“Sterile?” Loki whispered, blinking the tears from his eyes, feeling them slip down his cheeks “H-How?”

Eir walked over with a glass of water and set it on the table by the bed.

“Darling, I am so sorry” she stroked his head “I had prayed it was anything but”

Thor’s hand cradled his head, his arm was around his waist and he said nothing. He kissed Loki’s shoulder and pet his head, as though that would get his pain to dampen.

As though it made him any less hated in Asgard.

It was nothing, at the moment, it wasn’t even comfort for Loki. It was stifling, holding here, in the pain where he should be at home by now. But how could he get used to pain? How could he suffer and not hate what he went through?

Loki had no answer for that, but he tensed in Thor’s arms, stunning him when he pushed them apart to have distance between them.

“Let me go” Loki breathed “Please, I need to get out of here”

“Loki-”

“Now” Loki choked “Please”

Thor’s lips tightened at the plea and he nodded, stepping back and allowed Loki his escape. He watched him stride to the door head high, back straight, no indication of the pain he no doubt felt in his entire body.

Thor waited a moment, gave Loki a head start of fifteen seconds, then made his way after him. He bowed his head to Eir and left, trailing after his husband, who was walking from hall to hall.

It hurt Thor deeply that Loki had no idea where to go. He had no destination, he was lost. He turned and moved at random, walking into one hallway, then another, then another, as though he were trying to leave the world behind. His hands shook, there was a frantic edge to each of his steps.

Thor followed, as he would for the rest of his life if he had to, watching him go around in the dead of night, as though he could find reprieve somewhere else.

As though he could just pull away from himself and leave.

He followed him to the entrance of one of the towers and he saw Loki try to open the door, pulling at it harder, more insistently when it didn’t give, when it didn’t open instantly.

It was then that Thor walked over and closed the distance between them.

Loki knew he was behind him and pulled back sharply, glowering at him, daring him to say something to him.

He was itching to fight, itching to take his pain out. He needed it.

Thor looked at him sadly, saw the building up of rage and pain behind his eyes and sighed.

“It will be alright, Loki” Thor pushed the door open.

Under his rage and pain, he saw Loki’s feel embarrassed, his cheeks turning redder than they already were.

“It’s easy for you to say” Loki snarled, pushing past him and storming to the staircase that led above “You can leave without repercussions, as you’ve done before”

Thor closed his eyes and grit his teeth, taking a deep breath before once more going after him.

“Loki, come back” Thor said “this tower is dangerous, it’s not yet warded by magic”

“So what?” Loki asked, stomping up the stairs “As though you care”

Thor exhaled, prayed for more patience, then climbed up after him.

“Look, I know you are upset” Thor told him, watching the edge of Loki’s clothes flick out of sight as he followed the stairs “Yell at me, hit me if you must but please come back, this is an unsafe tower”

“Are there guards here?” Loki demanded

“Aye” Thor told him

“It’s safe enough, leave me be”

Thor rolled his eyes and went silent, but kept following, the steps Loki took stamped in his head. There was so much anger and disappointment inside him he couldn’t help but feel it in his own system.

It was paralyzing.

The tower was high and Loki’s footsteps echoed a little ways off so Thor felt slightly closer to him.

“Loki, I know you are in pain” Thor said

A scoff sounded from up above.

“You know, I don’t believe that matters to you” he snapped “I was in pain before, I was in so much damned pain and you ignored me for two weeks. Why don’t you do that again and _leave me alone_ ”

“That is not fair” Thor snarled, starting to lose his temper “That was different”

“Oh?” Loki asked, stopping for a moment “Because it was you?”

“No, I was angry”

“As I am now, so let me be alone!” Loki growled

“Fine!” Thor snapped at him “You want to be alone, fine then! You know, you say that everyone leaves you, do you ever think it’s because you push them away? I know you are in pain, Loki, so am I! I feel what you do, I understand but you are just pushing me away! You want to be alone, you like your solitary so much, then fine!”

Thor stopped, he didn’t turn around to leave, his voice echoed around him and he leaned back against the wall, arms crossed.

He took a few deep breaths and calmed down, noting that Loki’s steps had stopped, too.

“I know” Thor began, much calmer “your life has not been easy, Loki. I know that things seem impossible to get through. You have been left alone most of your life, people who should have been there for you have let you down, but I won’t. I want you to know that even though you will yell at me to leave you alone, I won’t. I love you. You matter to me, you are the only one here who I feel matters.”

He scuffed the stair he was on with his foot.

“I know this is breaking you, Loki” Thor told him “I know I – break you. I know that my actions hurt you more than I know and I can’t even begin to apologize. But please, please don’t tell me to leave you alone. I can’t – not when I can’t breathe without you.”

“You breathed just fine the last two weeks” Loki pointed out.

“I know” Thor whispered, ducking his head in shame “I won’t ask you for forgiveness for that. It was a stupid decision-”

“It was”

“But I won’t do it again” Thor said quickly “Please, _please_ come down”

There was sigh from Loki, tired, of the pain of the suffering, Thor was relieved, thinking he would come down to him.

He all but groaned when Loki began climbing back upstairs.

“Loki”

“Leave me _alone_ ”

Thor blew out some much needed breath and pushed off the wall to follow him again.

The tower they were in was once, in Odin’s time, considered to be a talking spot for the norns. People came to pray here, to give tributes and it seemed wrong to ward it with spells that seemed to affect the purity of the prayers.

So guards had been stationed here, their shifts changing every hour, ever since that time. However, since people stopped coming here, Odin had decided to ward this tower, too but the mages had yet to get to it.

So, even as children, Thor and Balder were told to keep away from it and they had done so. Even now, though Thor could take on danger that came this way, highly unlikely, he preferred to avoid this place altogether.

But right now, he climbed the stairs higher and higher, following his angry and very hurt husband.

His very hurt, very stubborn husband.

Norns be damned, he was only speeding up.

It looked ridiculous, but Thor was past the point of caring what it looked like. He wanted Loki back, he wanted him in his arms, he wanted to soothe him and himself, after learning what they had.

Sterile.

Barren.

Loki was destined to suffer, it seemed.

Their footsteps echoed in the tower as they climbed higer and higher until Thor was sure they were close to the top.

He was slightly winded and so was Loki, if hi panting was anything to go by, but the god didn’t stop. He could once more see the edge of Loki’s clothing as he went onwards, so he knew this was going to stop soon.

“Loki” he breathed “Stop, it’s going to be alright”

He heard him stop and for a second he thought it was a miracle, but then he heard him open a door and dropped his head, trudging after him.

“Loki, you-.”

“ _Thor_ ”

Thor’s heart stopped then, when he heard that distressed, shocked cry and he ran up the stairs. His heart pounded in his chest when he walked through the door and gasped, his eyes going wide at the _carnage_ that Loki was standing before.

The top of the tower reeked of death. The blood on the floor, on the walls was testament of the violence that happened here. The guards stationed here once now carpeted the floor, their bodies brutalized, spread everywhere, not even recognizable.

Thor’s arms wrapped around Loki’s shoulders and he pulled him back.

“Go get help” Thor turned to take Loki back “And arm yourself before…”

The door slammed shut and locked, right before their eyes the lock turned, trapping them inside. One by one the tower windows darkened, blocking out the night sky and Thor watched in shock, his fingers digging into Loki’s shoulders as something cruel, dark and evil took over the chambers. They turned with it, watching it all fade into darkness, the stars be taken out one by one until nothing remained but the single sconce left untouched.

“Get behind me” Thor told Loki “there’s someone in here with us”

Loki slipped behind him, looking around the bloody floor to find a sword. He arms himself instantly and kept his gaze ahead of him.

Thor wasn’t the only one who could see it. It was there, plain as light for Loki to see too.

A figure, tall, sinister, in the distance, standing and looking at them both.

He heard a familiar hissing, whispering somewhere and stilled, looking down at himself. He felt stirring in his chest and realized something terrible.

The Aether never left.

It was still inside him, Thor had been chasing nothing!

He touched his chest, right over his heart the moment his world turned black.

“Show yourself” Thor ordered the ghost “I will not harm you unless you attack me”

His hand was to his side, waiting for his hammer to arrive. It could be heard, soaring through the air, flying to her master.

“Harm me?” a voice, cold, lethal, spoke “You’ve tried once before Son of Odin and you failed”

Thor’s face went from resolute and battle ready to shocked, slackening as he went stunned, his hand lowering. His skin nearly turned grey and he gasped softly.

“This is not possible” he rasped, sick to his stomach.

A snicker answered him just as the figure stepped into the light.

“Dear boy” Malekith, once king and ruler of darkness, smiled “You have no idea what’s possible”

Thor’s mouth parted in shock and outside, Mjolnir crashed to the ground, lost, just like her master.

“I killed you” Thor whispered when Malekith stepped forward “I killed you, I saw it”

“Then explain” Malekith held out his hands, wanting the explanation “How I’m here”

Thor took a step back and grit his teeth, holding his arm out again. The hammer flew to him again, coming at him.

“Never mind, I will kill you again!” Thor snarled, grabbing the hilt of his hammer the moment it hit his palm.

He swung it at Malekith, hurtling it to him…

…then watched in horror as he knocked her aside.

“You think I don’t know your tricks?” Malekith strode forward “I have been waiting for this!”

Thor swung out with his fist and Malekith ducked, then lashed out with his own hand, grabbing Thor by the throat.

“Loki” Thor choked, grabbing his wrist as he was lifted off his feet “Loki…!”

Malekith chuckled “Oh, you mean him?”

Thor groaned as Malekith turned him towards Loki, then opened his mouth to call out to him.

Loki was floating mid air, his head was tipped back, his eyes were closed. He was glowing a dull red as he turned very softly.

“He’s proved quiet useful” Malekith said, looking at Thor “carried that thing inside him this entire time, all for me. And he was so pliant, listening to everything my Aether said”

Thor growled, his face almost purple.

Malekith then turned his attention back to Thor “Oh, how I have looked forward to this moment. Hurting you, breaking your body, your mind and your spirit. You took everything from me, you took away my right”

He squeezed harder and Thor gasped again.

“Now watch me take away everything you love”

Still holding him off the ground, Malekith extended a hand to Loki. His body stopping turning and slowly, the glow started getting brighter and brighter until one, then another and another piece of the Aether started to pull from his chest. It materialized from his clothes and started to increase in power as it floated to Malekith.

“You know what happens when I have this?” he taunted Thor “Right?”

Thor’s eyes flickered and he could watch, only barely, as Malekith pulled the Aether, gasping as it completely filled his system. He tipped his head back and closed his eyes, taking the elixir he wanted for so long.

When he looked at Thor again, his eyes were red and tattoos gleamed on his skin, protruding like the sinister being inside his spirit.

He grinned “Now…for you”

His hand glowed, ready to kill Thor right there.

“No!”

Malekith turned in time to have Loki launch himself at him, jamming the blade he had right into his side.

The Dark Elf screamed and dropped Thor, who coughed and gasped for breath while Loki tackled Malekith to the ground. He fell on top of the elf and his blade hit the floor. He looked up at his demonic face, those terrifying eyes and scrambled for his weapon.

But Malekith flipped him over and sat astride him, the Aether forming a blade of its own which he instantly set against Loki’s throat.

He grinned “You’re the whore. Taneleer’s little pet”

Loki’s face turned angry and Malekith laughed at him.

“He told me about you” Malekith chuckled “and about how you…”

He shouted in pain a moment later when Mjolnir slammed into him from behind, throwing him against the wall opposite.

“Do not” Thor got to his feet, catching his hammer “Touch him”

Malekith hissed at him, his blood falling to the ground in thick clumps, which made Loki frown. He bared his teeth at Thor.

“You will never be rid of me” he said, slashing a hand down faster than Loki thought he could.

A wave of power hit Thor and he grunted as he was thrown back, the force knocked Loki back down too.

And when they looked up, Malekith was gone.

Thor growled and looked to Loki, who was halfway between stunned and horrified.

Silence fell in the room as the two looked at one another, unable to speak.

Then Thor swallowed and looked around him. The carnage, the warriors killed so mercilessly was still around them and he looked at Loki again.

“I’ll call a few guards to help clean this up, you – what are you doing?” he asked sharply when he saw Loki go crouch where Malekith had been a few seconds ago “Loki?”

“His blood” Loki said, reaching out to touch it

Thor grimaced, disgusted “Don’t touch that…”

“No, look” Loki showed him his hand “It’s coagulated”

Against his better judgement, Thor walked over, sickened by it “Aye, so?”

“This only happens in spells where someone is brought back to life” Loki told him “you were right, you did kill him. Someone brought him back”

Thor frowned “Who?”

“He knew Taneleer” Loki said “Maybe he did”

Thor didn’t know what to say to that, so he walked over and gently pulled Loki to his feet.

“Come on” leading Loki to the door “the faster we act on this, the better it will be”

Loki nodded, looking at the blood on his hand and feeling the pain in his heart start all over.

They could kill Malekith and win.

But nothing could change what Loki was.

***

Next morning, Thor was ready to find Malekith.

He had given his order out to his most trusted men and found himself at a round table with the Warriors Three, Balder, Lady Sif, Loki and a few good soldiers.

No one was to know that Malekith had returned, it would start a panic that would prove difficult to control. This search would have to be stealthy and the fewer people that were in it, the better.

Thor had a map of Asgard opened before him and pointed to the places where everyone was to search. The soldiers would scour the lowest parts of Asgard. If Malekith was hiding here, in this realm, then that is where he would be.

The warriors Three would split to search the west and east while Sif and Balder would take the south of the kingdom.

Loki and Thor would go north, searching for this monster.

“I want him back dead or alive” Thor told them “he is not to leave this realm. If he gets to Svartalfhiem -”

“We know” Balder said quietly “with the power of the Aether, who knows what he will do there”

Thor nodded “Aye”

He looked at Loki, who was tight lipped and silent. He knew Loki hadn’t slept all night, he was tense and most likely afraid.

Malekith had been brought back to life by Taneleer.

If he tried to bring that monster back for Loki, the Jotun wouldn’t be able to handle it.

“We leave in two hours” Thor rolled the map back up and nodded to his team “Prepare yourselves”

There was no time to waste and the gathered party left quickly after that, leaving Thor alone with Loki. Loki, who was still staring at the table before them, despite the fact that the map was gone.

Thor exhaled softly and came to him, placing a hand on his back.

“Loki, are you alright?”

Loki’s mouth was tense and he took a deep breath before facing Thor.

“If he brings that monster back…”

“I won’t let it happen” Thor told him instantly

“No, listen to me” Loki looked him dead in the eyes “If he brings him back, I want to be the one to kill him. I can’t stand what he did to me, I still shake and cry when I think about it. He made me weak, he turned me into a whore for the entire kingdom to laugh at. If he comes back, I want my vengeance. Understand?”

That didn’t even take Thor a moment to agree to

“Aye” Thor rubbed his back “I understand”

“Good” Loki rubbed his arms, going back to staring at the table.

There was something else on his mind and Thor didn’t need to be a mage to know what it was. All night, all day, for the rest of his life, Loki would think about this, about his own curse, his own weakness, as he thought of it.

Sterile, barren, not meant to have any children. Was this the life the future Consort of Asgard would live? Unable to give his King an heir?

It crushed him with every passing moment, loading his self loathing even more than it was. It crushed him, it hurt him.

And in turn, it hurt Thor.

The man saw Loki tumble deeper into his thoughts and slid his hand up to squeeze his shoulder.

“Come” he tugged on him “Take a walk with me”

Loki looked at him and for a second, Thor thought he wouldn’t listen, but he thanked the norns when Loki simply agreed and went with him, letting him lead the way. His arms were around himself and he had his head ducked as he followed Thor, not even watching where he was going.

Thor led him out and dug his hand out so he could hold it as they walked, right into the warm sun of his mother’s gardens. The scent of flowers was heavenly and Thor stopped in the middle, facing Loki.

He tipped the other man’s face to his and smiled, stroking his cheek.

Loki watched him for a few long moments, then raised a brow.

“You brought me here to stare at me?”

Thor smiled “I can’t help it”

Loki rolled his eyes and looked away “Trust me to wed a fool”

“Aye, really” Thor grimaced “your standards are higher, no doubt”

He saw Loki’s lips curve into a smirk and he made him look back, seeing the sadness in his eyes the moment it settled there.

“Darling” Thor said softly “It’s alright. There is nothing wrong with you”

“Don’t say that” Loki frowned, dropping his gaze to the grass beneath them “Especially when it isn’t true”

“It is” Thor insisted, holding on when he felt Loki try and retreat from him “You are perfect and beautiful, even with what you have gone through, nothing is more wonderful than you”

“You are the only one who thinks that, Thor” Loki looked at him “You think this is what a kingdom needs? A barren whore as its ruler?”

Loki’s words stunned him so much, Thor could only gape for a few seconds, at the vicious hate Loki had for himself. He frowned at him and shook his head.

“Loki…” he whispered

“What?” Loki asked waspishly “You think once they find out I can’t do the one thing the Kingdom expects me to, they will be merciful? How many barren Queens do you know, Thor? How many people break a marriage when they can’t have children, have you ever noted?”

“I’m not going to leave you” Thor frowned “And I am sure as hell never going to treat you like you are any less, knowing this. So what if you can’t give me an heir? Does that define our love?”

“No, it defines your rule” Loki stepped back “Are you really this naïve? You accept me but what will happen when you want a child? What will happen when Balder has children and all you have is me, what then?”

“You speak as though you are not enough for me” Thor followed him “You think me this shallow?”

“No, I think you this foolish” Loki spun around, unable to look at Thor “I think you will stay with me for the rest of my life and yours because you love me so much. I fear it, the moment when you look at me and see the life you have been denied and the children I have no power to give”

Thor didn’t speak immediately, but Loki felt his hands on his shoulders, turning him around.

“I will only say this once” Thor raised a finger before his face “I love you. You, Loki Jarson, my husband and my lover. Everything you give me is an honor and everything you cannot, I don’t want. You matter most to me, no one else, nothing else. If I am to never have children, then I look forward to a life where I give you all my love and attention. If the kingdom says anything, we let it wash over us because this is not their life. It is mine and mine alone, as are you and everything you come with”

He gave him a little shake “Understand?”

Loki pressed his lips together and looked at him, trying to roll his eyes but Thor saw the thin line of tears over his eyes.

“Fine, sentimental fool” Loki whispered

Thor gave him a sad smile and kissed his cheek, harder when Loki didn’t push him off.

“Damn it, Thor!” Loki growled, shoving at him instantly “Stop slobbering over me”

He wiped his cheek and Thor laughed, pulling him back to him, despite Loki wiping his hand over his chest in disgust.

“You’re an animal” Loki told him

Thor laughed “And you love it”

“Perhaps” Loki told him “Perhaps I just pretend to”

Thor watched him, his blue eyes focused on him, his hands unable to keep from touching him. He watched him look to the side, the furrow heavy on his brow, his lips still tight.

He was, Thor knew, still thinking about last night.

“Thor, may I ask you something?” Loki didn’t look at him “And do try not to take this as an invitation”

Thor chuckled “Aye, ask away”

“Why are you so calm?” Loki turned to him “That creature, that Malekith, has returned. You suffered at his hands terribly, why are you not – you know…”

“Taken by an indignant, righteous rage fit?”

Loki conceded to that “Aye, not those exact words but yes”

Thor chuckled and cuffed Loki on the jaw lightly “I am King now”

There was a few seconds of pause before Loki blinked “That’s it? You have mastered control with the throne?”

“In a way” Thor said, looking ahead of himself “I have mastered control of my actions. But do not think that my rage and fear aren’t as strong as they were when I lost her. I am far from calm inside, Loki”

A hand came to rest on his chest and Thor turned to Loki.

“I know” Loki sighed “I merely ask because…”

Thor raised a brow “Because?”

Loki glared “Because I worry about you, alright, now don’t go grinning about it, it makes you look like an idiot”

Thor pulled his lips inwards and nodded “As you wish”

He felt Loki’s arm come about his waist and tug him back towards the palace.

“Now come on” Loki said “We have to prepare to catch this monster”

“That we do” Thor went with him.

His mind was free at the moment, but the closer it came to the end of the assigned two hours, the more battle ready, determined side of him began to show. He was a warrior now, armed and ready to kill the monster that took his mother from him.

Thor had defeated him when he had an entire army. Now he stood alone, he had no chance at survival.

Thor was going to kill him.

With Loki beside him, no enemy would stand a chance, such was Loki’s strength over him.

When their two hours passed, Loki found himself taken to the mountains via Mjolnir. She was fast, the only weapon that could match Thor’s desire to be where he wanted to be as fast as he wanted to be.

He told Loki that there were safe houses, built eons ago. Hundreds upon hundreds of chambers carved into the very mountains. They had once served at the palace of Asgard, when the realm was still being made. Now, they were cleaned once every year in case a war hit Asagard. But since the possibility was improbable, most had forgotten these existed.

Thor did not and he was willing to bet neither did Malekith.

If he was still on Asgard, and he was hoping for it desperately, the highest chance was here. The others each had a communication device, in case they ran into him, but Thor hoped he was in these safe houses.

Loki was with him, both of them dressed warmly to repel the snow pelting them as they flew. Their cloaks and capes flapped in the wind as the mountains came closer. Loki had Thor’s plan in mind.

Split up and look for that beast, Loki had his wrists free of those damn bonds, he was free to use his magic and was now ready to kill that beast.

What they didn’t expect was that beast to be ready for them so quickly.

Loki saw the red blaze come at them a moment too late and he gasped, letting Thor go with one arm to put a shield around them.

“Down there!” Loki told Thor when the blaze bounded off the shield.

The second and third came too fast and Loki blocked one, the other sailed right through the shield and slammed into them.

Thor cried out, the two of them slipping apart as he fell, knocked from the skies. Loki’s cry echoed around them as he fell, vanishing into the soaring wind and snow. Thor himself hit the ground, grunting in pain and looking to his side where a blood red crystal was embedded in his flesh.

He groaned, curling up, his hand over the wound, panting and gasping for breath.

He shouted in pain when two more came to jam into his thigh, making him writhe in pain where he lay. They were long enough to pin him to the ground, going in one side, coming out the other.

Snow crunched before him and he looked up to see Malekith arrive, smiling at him.

“You think you are the only one who prepared for this?” he asked calmly “You are a fool indeed if you think so”

He materialized another sharp crystal in his hand and showed it to Thor.

“This is made from the Aether” Malekith said “strong, resilient and unfinished. When this is complete, it will blossom all over Asgard, breaking her apart, creating my new realm to replace the one lost”

“The one you lost” Thor snarled “through your battle lust…you tried taking my realm once and went back empty handed, it will happen again”

Malekith smirked “Dear boy, you, of all people, should know that I didn’t go back empty handed. I took your mother, didn’t I?”

Thor growled and thunder started to sound in the sky, which made Malekith chuckle.

“Look at you” he taunted, hurling the crystal at him and reveling in his scream “the might Thor, at my feet, useless”

Blood was painting the snow now and Malekith walked around him, pushing another crystal into his back hard enough to have Thor howl in agony.

His hand dug into the snow, trying to move enough to get away but Malekith stepped on his hand. Close by, Mjolnir shifted closer, but Thor couldn’t get her there, his blood loss was making him light headed.

The thunder roared above, lightning flashed but his hammer didn’t move.

He was feeling defeat and Malekith sensed it, smiling at him. His hands formed another crystal, long and lethal like the others and raised it so he could bring it down.

But startled the next moment when it vanished from his hands.

He spun around and saw Loki standing behind him, hands together at the palms, spread out. Magic coiled between them, lethal as a snake and pulled the shards of his crystal to him.

The Dark Elf was shocked and he turned to him.

“This – This is not…”

“Possible?” Loki smirked “Dear boy, you have no idea what’s possible”

On the ground, bleeding out and pinned like a piece of paper, Thor grinned. Who knew Loki was the dramatic one?

Malekith snarled in disgust, conjuring another crystal to hurl at Loki, the same happened to it, then the next, then the next until Malekith saw Loki contort what he threw at him into swords and blades, anything he wanted.

The Dark Elf roared in anger, raising a shield for himself when Loki threw back his cursed Aether.

“You think you are alone in controlling the Aether?” Loki asked over the wind and hissing of the vicious red element he controlled “If I remember correctly, I know it as well as you do!”

Malekith fought him, the two tearing the Aether apart, snatching it from each other, hurling spells and magic that both of them matched. But it was clear that Loki was winning, Malekith’s black, clumped blood fell into the ice over and over, marking him with the wounds of battle.

He saw himself losing and tried to escape.

Loki saw it, too.

“No!”

Loki’s magic tried to fetter Malekith’s but the elf vanished before he could, leaving behind only the traces of their fight.

Loki hissed in anger, then ran to Thor, who lay there, still as death.

“Relax” Loki placed a hand over his head “I will take us home”

His hands started to glow, a gentle gold enveloped Thor and warmth spread over his entire body. His eyes closed and he felt his body relax as Loki took over, pushing him into a sleep he would later be grateful for.

***

Thor hissed, groaning when Loki pulled the gauze stuck his skin, tugging at the fresh stitches given to him. His hand clenched under the pillow and pulled at the sheets.

Norns, the sting was painful.

They were on their bed, Thor lay on his side, bare as a babe, as Loki redid his bandages, as he was supposed to every few hours.

“Forgive me” Loki whispered, making Thor smile when he kissed his shoulder “I didn’t mean to pull so hard”

Thor rolled his eyes and chuckled “Yes you did, you are angry”

“Not with you”

“Aye, with me” Thor told him, looking at Loki’s reflection in the mirror “I can see the angry pout on your lips whenever you reach over to yank a gauze off”

“I am not yanking”

Thor grunted as another was _not yanked_ off and sighed “Who are you angry at, then?”

“My husband” Loki said “He’s an idiot, who went head first into battle with a powerful enemy”

“Ah” Thor said “I see. And this upsets you?”

“Clearly” Loki dipped his fingers in salve and applied it over Thor’s back where more of those horrifying holes had been stitched shut “he doesn’t understand that he and I are like one. What he goes through, I suffer along with him”

Thor raised a brow “The bond does that?”

“No” Loki told him “my love does that”

He glared at him in the mirror for a moment

“I am not unaffected by your pain, Thor” Loki told him, looking back down on his work as he pulled out more gauze and salve.

That had Thor turning, but Loki placed a hand on his head “Keep still, Thor. I’m working”

He sat cross legged behind him till then, but moved a little, to get to the stitches at his back. He ducked down, his hair falling over one shoulder, leaving him a lovely sight for Thor to see. He felt Loki apply the salve, then the gauze, keeping it in place with the bandage.

“Now the last one” Loki said, pulling the covers over to Thor’s waist “Then we are done”

Thor watched him in the mirror, then sighed “I’m sorry”

“Hm?” Loki asked him, pretending he was focused on his work.

“I shouldn’t have overestimated myself” Thor told him “I wanted to be strong enough to take him on and kill him, but I am not. I acted foolishly”

“That you did” Loki changed the last of the bandages “if I hadn’t been there …”

He pulled his lips inwards and stopped speaking.

Thor felt his hand rest on his shoulder, then back off, gathering the things he had to him and getting off the bed. Thor waited for him to come into his line of vision then watched him place the items away and wash his hands in the bathing room. He came back, looking around the room to see if anything was out of place and rubbing some sort of lotion on his hands.

“Come here” Thor extended a hand to him “I can’t move, so you have to come over”

“Must I?” Loki huffed, but walked over, standing just out of reach “Don’t get any ideas, Thor”

Thor smiled “I’m not. Sit here, with me for a moment”

He pulled the pillow from beneath his head and tossed it behind him, patting the place it had been. Loki rolled his eyes exaggeratedly but came to sit, cross legged, against the headboard. His automatically started running his fingers through Thor’s hair when he set his head in his lap.

“Comfortable?” he asked dryly

Thor turned his head to kiss his knee “Aye”

He stroked his leg with his thumb as Thor lay there, drawing random patterns on it, lost in his thought.

“I’m sorry I worried you today” Thor said

“I believe you have already said that” Loki told him, starting to make sections from a thick lock of hair.

“Have I?” Thor asked “And what are you doing?”

“Braiding your hair” Loki said, his nimble fingers working through his hair “I read about something called a lovelock. It symbolizes that someone loves you even though you nearly killed them with your stupidity”

“A very fitting thing, then” Thor smiled, then slowly his smile fell from his face and he sighed “Loki, I …”

He broke off and Loki swallowed heavily.

“Do you have any idea what happened to me when I saw you like that?” he whispered “I thought you were dead, Thor. I lost my life, right before my eyes”

Thor rubbed his leg instead of saying anything.

“You are all I have” Loki told him “You hear me? I have no one else. You are the only one I have”

“I’m sorry”

Loki exhaled to calm his pounding heart and looked to the side “I can’t live without you”

“I know” Thor whispered

“Then why do you keep…” Loki stopped, looking away “Why do you keep … putting yourself in danger?”

“I swear” Thor said “I don’t do it on purpose”

He hissed a moment later when Loki yanked on his hair.

“What was that for?”

Loki glared down at him “It’s not funny, Thor.”

“I didn’t make a joke, Loki” Thor hissed, rubbing the spot that stung his scalp “I was telling you I do not intend to make you this anxious”

“Anxious is putting it lightly” Loki said, continuing his work “I will lose my mind”

Thor set his head down again and sighed “Loki, he killed my mother. I can’t let him live”

“I am not asking you to do that” Loki told him “Just don’t go after him alone. Make a plan, think properly before creating a scenario where he can’t win no matter what he does. Kill him, but be careful about it”

He ran his finger tip over the braid when it was finished and Thor closed his eyes, savoring the moment.

“Promise me” Loki told him “Please”

“Loki…”

“ _Please_ ” Loki insisted “don’t make me beg”

Thor closed his eyes and sighed, reaching up to take Loki’s hand in his own and bringing to it to his lips to kiss. He kissed his fingers, his palm, his wrist, then set it beneath his cheek.

“Then I won’t” Thor whispered “I won’t face him alone”

“Thank you” Loki whispered, kissing his head.

He stayed like that for a while, bent over Thor, kissing his temple, his hair, nuzzling him in affection.

And much later, when they were both in bed, Thor sleeping as much as his pain allowed, Loki held his hand through the night, never moving from him.

There was no word to describe the terror Loki had felt in his heart when he saw Thor laying there, pinned into the snow by those damn crystals.

No words could describe the way his heart broke into a thousand pieces, no words could describe how he lost all will to live, he would have let Malekith kill him if Thor hadn’t moved, if he hadn’t reached weakly for his hammer.

Loki would have died beside him on the snow if he hadn’t moved.

He would not have survived, Thor was his everything, he was his entire world.

And after the life Loki had, he was never going to give him up, not to Malekith, not to anyone else.

Never.

Loki dozed off watching his husband sleep beside him, his sleep though disturbed, felt blessed.

***

Next morning, the two were having breakfast when Olivier brought over a visitor. The valet bowed and opened the door for Balder and Bestla, both of them smiling when they saw Thor well and able.

“I see Loki’s presence is the secret healing ingredient when it comes to Thor, aye?” Bestla announced, brushing a hand over Thor’s head the moment she reached him “I have missed you”

“I missed you too,” Thor chuckled “With everything that is happening, I feel like it has been years since we talked”

“Feels that way, Balder, sit” Bestla pushed out a chair for him “tell Olivier to get us breakfast here, too, I am starving”

Balder looked to the valet, who simply bowed and went to do as he was asked.

“So” Bestla turned to Thor, sober and strict “Was it truly him?”

Thor breathed out deeply then nodded “It was. Loki belives he resurrected himself or someone did it for him”

“Why?” Balder asked Loki, his eyes still cold

“His blood” Loki set his fork down “it was black, nearly solidified. I have studied spells, I know what the blood of someone brought back from the dead looks like.”

“Is there a way to kill him?” Bestla asked “Without him coming back?”

“Sever the head” Balder answered “Place it away from the body”

“Actually” Loki shook his head “That is all lore, it’s not as complicated”

“Then how do we end him?” Thor asked

“As we would any enemy, there is nothing special about someone who has been brought back” Loki shrugged “they are not stronger than before, rather the opposite. Which is why I wager he needs the Aether. He wanted it to be able to do what he could before”

“So until he can use it, he is vulnerable” Bestla said

“Pretty much” Loki said “it doesn’t help him that I have some of it with me”

That had everyone, including Thor, tense and stare at him.

“Where is it?” Thor demanded

“Calm down” Loki raised his hands a little “it’s difficult to explain, it’s inside me. It’s powerless at the moment because it has been separated from the majority of its body and I think this is the way to keep him in check till we find him”

“No” Thor looked at him firmly “We are not using you as bait, Loki, I will not allow it”

“I am already ‘bait’ Loki told him “he knows I have it, two bodies cannot share the Aether, one has to perish”

“And I am not risking you to try and kill him” Thor snarled “Get rid of it”

“I have been taken by it a few times by now and never have I been able to get rid of it by myself” Loki told him calmly “But this time, I am able to keep it, contained, by my magic, Thor. We are rendering him powerless”

“Why didn’t you tell me this last night?” Thor demanded

“I didn’t know I had it until this morning” Loki licked his lips “I was ill, as I was the night before. It was because of the Aether, it was why I could take it from Malekith when you were injured”

“So you have part of the Aether inside you?” Balder asked “A dangerous weapon, all to yourself?”

“Yes”

“Then what stops you from…”

“It is very important” Thor cut in, looking right at him “That you do not finish that sentence, brother”

Balder’s lips tightened and he glared “Are you really going to sit there and pretend he isn’t the enemy? He almost killed you, he almost killed Father, he should be in the dungeons!”

“I did not …” Loki began

“Damn right you did!” Balder shot to his feet, glaring at him.

It prompted Thor to stand as well and Bestla glared at him.

“You are supposed to be executed, not be here, with us!” Balder snarled “You deserve to be punished!”

“Balder, be quiet” Bestla scolded him softly “You know the truth, he had nothing to do with it”

“Except he did and all of you are standing here, defending him while our father lays dying on that bed” Balder’s hands were clenched “He is a murderer. He tried killing my brother, he tried killing my father and you are still here, sitting with him, having breakfast as though nothing has happened!”

“Aye, because he is innocent!” Thor snapped “So shut your mouth before I do something you will regret!”

“Like what?” Balder challenged “Hit me? Hurt me? Go right ahead, I don’t care anymore!”

There was pain, buried deep inside him and it was unleashing itself slowly upon Loki.

“I don’t care if you beat me” Balder glowered at Thor “it might give you joy from the looks of it but it will change nothing! He’s a Jotun, the enemy of Asgard, his family has been killing ours, he’s upholding that murderous trait!”

“Balder, I am not!” Loki snapped “I did not attack him, it was the Aether!”

“Aye, the magical weapon you claim you couldn’t control but now you suddenly can?” Balder mocked, stepping back “You think you are so clever, so manipulative, wrapping Thor around your little finger, thinking yourself untouchable? Well, you’re not.”

“Balder” Thor warned, taking a step to him “You need to calm down”

“I am calm” Balder retreated “If I wasn’t, I would have sliced his head off his shoulders, trust me. This is as calm as I can be right now”

Loki sighed “I know you think the worst of me, you haven’t exactly made that a secret, but trust me, I have never wanted to harm your family, it was beyond my control!”

“Or perfectly in control?” Balder scoffed, then looked at Thor as he approached “he’s manipulating you, Thor. He’s making a fool of you, all the realms know it! Think about it, why hurt you and father when he could have killed you. He is _nothing_ but a lying, tainted whore out for power!”

It seemed then, at that moment, that Thor was going to kill him.

It really did seem that way.

The only thing that stopped him was a guard that came barreling through the doors with no ceremony. The whole family stared, thinking something had happened to Odin. Their hearts stopped in fear but the guard turned to Loki, his gaze sorrowful.

“My lord” he whispered “Your mother, Lady Farbauti…”

Loki felt his heart stop then as he got to his feet slow, afraid this would ruin him.

“My lord, she was attacked last night, on Jotunhiem” the guard whispered “The King demands your presence immediately”

Loki was pale as death and nodded “I’ll be right there. I’ll _be right there_!”

His voice broke in panic and he rushed to their rooms, picking up a bag, gathering all that he could. He was white in fear as he threw in everything he could, not even hearing Thor arrive with the others.

“Loki” Thor walked to him “dear, listen to me”

Loki didn’t even seem to hear him, he stuffed his things into a bag and tied it up, his eyes too wide, his movements frantic, frenzied.

His hands were shaking so badly he was dropping more things than he was packing and Thor couldn’t take it.

“Loki,” Thor took his hand, startling him into halting “breathe. Calm down, alright? We will go there together, you have to calm yourself down”

“I have to go to her” Loki stared at him “I need…”

He broke off when Thor cupped his cheek. He looked at him, pale, devastated, broken…

“Thor, if something happens to her…” Loki whispered

“It won’t” Thor swore, putting his arms around him and cradling his head in his hand “I swear it. We will bring her here, Eir will fix her, alright?”

He rubbed his back to make sure he was somewhat pacified. He kissed his head, whispered soothing words into his ear.

“I can’t lose her” Loki whispered, his hands lifting to clutch at Thor’s clothes “Thor, I cannot lose her, she is the only family I have left”

“You won’t lose her” Thor promised, “I swear it”

He heard Bestla appear behind them and nodded to her

“Tell Hiemdall we wish to leave” Thor told her “Please make arrangements”

“I will” she turned and left, taking the guard with her.

Loki stayed in Thor’s arms until his hands stopped trembling and looked at him with stunned, watery eyes.

Thor gave him a reassuring smile and placed his hand on his cheek, wiping his tear with his thumb. He kissed his lips and pulled back.

“It will be alright, my love”

Thor stroked his cheek again, running his knuckles over it

“I promise”

Loki nodded, looking at the ground, his lips pressed tightly together. He was suffering and Thor made it a point to ensure that he eased it as much as he could. He packed for him, then himself and took his shaking hand, pulling him along as they went to the nearest door out they could find.

Holding the bags to him, Loki let Thor pull him with an arm around his waist so they could fly to the bi frost site.

It was quick, it was fast and Loki could hear none of his own thoughts because of the wind soaring past his ears and that was a mercy.

He didn’t want to go down the path his thoughts were taking. He hung on tighter to Thor as they flew over Asgard, over the clouds, the air and wind flying through Loki’s hair. He breathed deeply and inhaled the stunning scent of it all.

It reminded him of Thor and he looked at the man in his arms, taking him away from his home in barely a second, so he could be with his mother.

And Thor would save her, Loki was sure of it.

They landed at the bi frost and Loki staggered, just a little, feeling Thor calm him. Bestla was already standing there, talking to Hiemdall as the man murmured to her softly.

The arrangements had been made, clearly, as Thor and Loki stepped forward.

Bestla turned to them and both of them froze when they saw the tears in her eyes.

She looked at Loki and pulled her lip between her teeth.

“Loki” she croaked, walking over “Darling…”

Loki didn’t need to know what she said. Even if his heart hadn’t started pounding in his chest, the blood hadn’t rushed to his ears, his body hadn’t gone still, his spirit hadn’t been broken in two, and if he hadn’t heard her over the pain he went through, he would have known.

She hadn’t made it.

His mother was dead.

“W-What?” Loki stumbled backwards, he was about to fall

But two strong arms came around him and steadied him, a hand rested gently on his forehead from behind, keeping him calm.

“Breathe” Thor whispered into his ear “Dearling, breathe for me”

Loki couldn’t. He gasped sharply and squeezed his eyes shut, feeling his knees buckle. Thor crouched next to him, then he pulled him into his arms, holding him close. Loki’s arms folded between them, Thor could feel them trembling against his chest and Loki set his chin on his shoulder, shocked.

“My mother” he gasped, his voice so small and broken it was barely audible and his heart was suddenly as barren as he was “My Mother, Thor…”

Thor squeezed his eyes shut when Loki ducked his head and rested his forehead on his collar. The softest of soft cries escaped his lips and Thor held him tightly, his face grim.

Farbauti was gone.

And Thor knew who had done it.

There was no one other than that monster responsible.

Malekith had just dug his own grave far quicker than he thought possible.

 


	27. An End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How many have you had?” Thor asked as Loki started to drink it  
> “I lost count” Loki told him “a lot”

The tavern was filled so completely that moving around was nearly impossible without bumping into one or two drunk Jotun. There was gentle music and the heady smell of smoke mixing with the heat of the fire places scattered along the walls.

There was fresh ale and mead being given around, hot kegs of broth and what little food there was on the tavern menu was being passed along to the hungry patrons who waited, huddled against each other to escape the biting chill.

They were all refugees from the ice and snow that gathered outside. Tonight had not been a good one by a long shot and Thor recognized a few of the people in there from the funeral, but most of them were just nameless blurs he passed as he searched for Loki.

His husband was bound to be here, Thor could feel him. He could feel a sense of grief and desperation so deep inside him that he knew it was nothing else than Loki, trying to find a way to escape where he was.

Not Jotunhiem, but again, like he had done before, he was escaping reality and what place was more suited for that than the tavern he was in? full of people just like him, escapists who needed a few hours peace before being thrown back into the merciless world they had left behind when they passed through these doors.

He had expected it, the last few days had not been easy on Loki and there was bound to be a limit for his husband. Fortunately for him, Thor was there to make sure that his presence mended at least some of the pain he was in.

They had arrived that morning the moment they could leave Asgard to Balder. Loki had been devastated, he didn’t know what was happening as he, Thor and Bestla, aye Queen Bestla insisted on arriving, landed on Jotunhiem.

Thor was sure that his grandmother had accompanied them only to ensure that their presence would be known throughout the realm and that she would start on the path to mend all relationship with Jotunhiem.

The resulting shock, of course, she enjoyed silently. There was not a smile upon her lips but Thor knew how she felt at having stunned everyone and sending them into a flurry of movement and preparation.

It also guaranteed a stay at the palace and the immediate acceptance of Thor and Loki with her. There was little doubt, then, that Farbauti had been anything but an important member of the Jotun royal family – no matter how unconventional her addition was.

People who ridiculed her suddenly told praises of her as Queen Bestla arrived, those who tormented her were quiet and stayed out of sight in case someone pointed them out when she grieved for the departed Lady Farbauti. Thor, future King of Asgard was beside her and with him, barely coherent and once the object of their gossip, was Loki.

They had walked in together, all of them, as a family, until Loki broke off from them to go to the casket that held his mother. The crowd around her parted to let him through and he fell on his knees beside her. His hands shook when he raised them to place on the lid of the casket and his stunned eyes took it in.

Black as night, it reflected his broken hearted expression, showing to him the tears settled in his emerald eyes and the pain on his face.

He sniffed, closing his eyes and feeling the tears spill down, sliding down his cheeks as he set his forehead on the polished surface of the casket that held his mother.

His shoulders shook as he wept, the Royal family prayed to those sad, heart breaking noises and Thor held him, comforting him as he held with his hands the shredded pieces of Loki’s heart. He watched them slowly lower the casket into the ground.

It had taken so long for them to dig a grave. The ground was frozen solid, it was like it didn’t want her that day, didn’t want to make Loki’s nightmare a reality, as though it didn’t want him to see him taking his mother away from him.

Yet it had no choice, just like Loki had none, standing there, next to Thor, his eyes wide and stunned, lost and broken.

It didn’t really surprise Thor that once they reached the palace, Loki wanted privacy. It didn’t surprise him when he went to their rooms and saw him gone – he had expected it. Loki was still not able to let Thor share his grief, though he had come far in it.

Thor knew he would try and find a way to dampen his pain without anyone hovering over him. His family meant well but they would smother him at the moment, which was the exact opposite of what Loki wanted. He wanted to be alone, he wanted to escape.

It didn’t take long for Thor to realize where he had gone. Most of the taverns were open at this late hour and his search was slow, which gave Loki the time he needed to gain some sort of calm around his aching spirit.

He felt it before he saw him, the closeness, the hint of love always filling his heart before he caught sight of him and Thor found himself relaxing just a little when he went deeper into the tavern.

He was there, at a table in the very back, huddled into darkness. He had the hood of his cloak over his head and was looking into the half drunk keg before him. He was bent over it, like the depths were inviting him towards it.

Thor pulled his cloak tighter around himself and walked past the people crowded by the fireplace beside Loki’s chosen spot and knocked on the table to get Loki’s attention.

He smiled, just a little, when Loki started and gave him a completely offended look.

“Thor?” Loki frowned “why are you here? Why are you … moving so much?”

“I’m standing still, dearling” Thor said softly, reaching out for his hand “come, I will take you home”

“I don’t have a home” Loki pulled away from him, going further into the darkness “I don’t have a home or a family or … anything”

His words started to slur a little but they were still sharp and Thor sighed before he took the place Loki vacated when he slunk back.

“You know that’s not entirely true” he said softly “you have a family”

“Bunch of Aesirs who hate me” Loki muttered, pulling his drink closer “Joy. I can’t even make a family, I have nothing”

“You have me” Thor pointed out, reaching over to place a hand on his shoulder “come with me”

“No” Loki downed the rest of the drink, then slammed the keg on the table “ _another_!”

Thor leaned back to avoid the shards of Loki’s broken keg as cheers sounded from the other patrons. He sat there patiently as a server came to take the shards away and replace the keg for his drunk husband.

“How many have you had?” Thor asked as Loki started to drink it

“I lost count” Loki told him “a lot”

Thor chuckled “Do you intend to have more?”

“Possibly” Loki took another large swig which honestly impressed Thor “it’s still lingering”

That made the Aesir prince frown “What’s lingering?”

“Pain” Loki said, stabbing his chest with a finger “right here”

Sadness came over Thor and he raised a hand to order a gentler drink for himself.

“Then let me drink with you” he put an arm around Loki’s shoulders “Eh?”

Loki shrugged like it meant nothing and buried his face in the keg again. Thor sat next to him and thanked the server after taking his drink.

“To Farbauti” Thor gently clinked his keg with Loki’s “May Valhalla’s gates keep her safe”

Loki mumbled something similar and downed his keg again, then set it down carefully on the table. Thor was thankful of that, at least, and started to rub Loki’s back. Slowly, it caused Loki to set his head on the table, his arms crossed beneath his forehead.

His shoulders shook a little and Thor saw him clench his hands into fists so he rubbed his back.

“Come here, darling” Thor whispered, pulling him closer.

Loki took that opportunity to set his head in Thor’s lap and hide under the table. Thor smiled and stroked his head over his hood. He massaged it, just a little so Loki felt relaxed but it did no good.

“How did you get past it?”

Loki’s voice was thick with grief as he asked him that and Thor felt the pain deep inside his chest. It resonated from the place torn into his heart the day his mother died.

“How did you function knowing she was gone?” Loki asked “How did you get away from the agony?”

Thor sighed, continuing his soft caresses “I didn’t”

He felt Loki turn to look at him and lowered the edge of the hood when it got in the way.

“The pain is still there, it still hurts” Thor told him, stroking his cheek “I live with it, I carry it with me like any scar I have upon me. You will do the same”

Loki blinked and Thor saw tears spill from his eyes down to vanish into his hair.

“It hurts so much” Loki whispered “I miss her so much, Thor”

“I know”

“I want her back”

That tugged at Thor’s heart and he felt tightness in his throat and he felt his eyes prickle.

“I do, too” he said

Loki closed his eyes and turned away, setting his cheek on Thor’s knee and playing with the fold in his trousers.

“What do I do?” Loki whimpered

“Come home” Thor said “I will take care of you”

“You always do” Loki complained “it’s not fair”

“I love doing it” Thor pet his shoulder “it makes me happy”

“Why?”

“Because I love you” Thor told him softly

There was silence for a few long moments before Loki sighed

“I love you too”

Thor couldn’t help the smile that came over his lips and lightly pinched his cheek to give it a little shake.

“Come on” Thor said “let’s get out of here”

Loki groaned in response and levered himself on his elbow in the confined space, then went very still.

“Oh norns…” he groaned

Thor frowned “What’s wrong?”

“I’m so sorry” Loki croaked

He fell forward the next second, under the table and threw up all over Thor’s boots and the floor.

Thor made a disgusted face at the warm, repulsive mess and looked away, patting Loki on the back as he tried to ignore it as best he could.

Which wasn’t much, it turned out, the man suffered the collateral damage like the doomed husband he was.

***

There was much to be said for a Loki who was drunk and miserable as they sat at the breakfast table and most of it was hilarious.

True, it was inappropriate for him to find humor at a time like this, but the second Loki walked out of their room looking like death, Thor had to actively control the mirth rising inside him.

His hair was a mess atop his head, his eyes were bloodshot and he was a groaning, moaning mess. He flinched at every loud noise and Thor smirked, holding his arms open for him.

“Come here, you disgusting thing, you”

Loki gave him a dirty look and pointedly chose the seat opposite Thor, massaging his temples as he sat down. There was a servant close by who quietly made his way to the door to get Loki some breakfast and Thor discreetly slid over the tea pot and cup he had beside him.

Loki gave him a semi grateful look and pulled it over, pouring himself a nice, steaming hot cup.

“What did I do last night?” he groaned, still unwilling to open his eyes

“Well, you ran off, got drunk” Thor chuckled “and when I came to get you, you ruined my boots”

Loki gave him another glare but this was slightly less dirty than before.

“I am glad I ruined your shoes” he said “serves you right”

“Serves me right?” Thor grinned “for taking care of you?”

“For laughing at me” Loki sipped his tea “I knew you would, I probably did it on purpose”

Thor laughed softly and pushed his chair back and wincing when the screech made Loki cringe.

“Sorry” Thor muttered, leaving it where it was and coming to Loki “Move”

“Why? This is my chair, you left your own” Loki tried to jab him with his elbow and ended up growling when Thor just hoisted him up and sat him in his lap on the same chair “Savage”

Thor kissed the back of his head and rubbed his shoulders gently as he sat on his thighs. He was given his breakfast there, not moving to get up even when the servant arrived and then after, he leaned back, tipping his head back to Thor’s shoulder.

“I don’t know what to do”

His confession had Thor’s heart breaking again, his hand sought Loki’s and he grasped it, kissing it softly.

“You will when time passes” Thor told him, snaking an arm around his waist.

“I have no family here now” Loki turned his head to look at him “And a barren womb. I have no one but you”

Thor looked at him, his own sadness settled firmly in his eyes “Is that such a bad thing? To have me?”

Loki’s lips curved into a gentle smile and he shook his head “No. But I fear it will be bad for you”

“It won’t” Thor told him, reaching over and stroking his long neck “if not me, then you have Ruben, he is practically your child”

Loki’s huff of laughter was like a ray of hope for Thor, hope that things would improve for them again.

“Why do you hate my cat?” Loki asked, reaching over to play with Thor’s hair “He’s done nothing to you”

“He’s done everything to me, you just choose to forget it” Thor kissed his nose “you are blind to my pain when it comes to him”

He reached past Loki to pull a glass closer

“Pour me some juice, aye?”

Loki groaned and used his magic to do it, not willing to move from where he was.

“I am not blind, it never happens when I am around”

“Because” Thor took a gulp “he is clever and manipulative Much like someone else I know.”

“Very funny, Thor,” Loki rolled his eyes and took a deep breath.

He set the glass down and looked at Loki, whose eyes slid shut as he rubbed his face. Thor smiled softly and cupped Loki’s cheek before pressing their foreheads together.

“I do care for you, Loki. Do not forget that,” Thor rumbled and kissed Loki softly “And your pain does not leave me untouched, much like you said earlier.”

Green eyes opened as Thor pulled away and Loki fisted a lock of blond hair.

“You’re a sentimental fool.”

“For you? Always.” Thor kissed him again, although this time it wasn’t chaste.

It wasn’t demanding either, he wanted Loki to let him first, he was by no means pushing him.

 Loki allowed it, melted into it and Thor happily kept going. His arms came about him tighter and he licked into Loki’s mouth, pulling him closer and feeling the soft, gentle moan he gave in response.

“Not here” Loki whispered, pulling away, just a little and gasping when Thor started placing open mouthed kisses on his throat “Thor…”

Thor growled softly and gave one last kiss before he let him go so they could stand. He was getting aroused and by the way Loki tugged on his hand, so was he.

They strode to the door with purpose and as soon as they were inside, Loki was pressed to them, his back sliding on the icy surface when Thor pulled him up, his hands under his thighs and his mouth latched on to Loki’s.

“You are so beautiful” Thor whispered into his mouth “I can’t get enough of you”

Loki felt much the same and tightened his grip around him.

His body responded to Thor in a way that no one else could make it and he was savoring the feel of it when he felt the magic in the room suddenly start to change.

It was subtle, like the change in temperature, dropping slowly, almost unnoticeably so. But he sensed it and Loki broke the kiss off, frowning as he looked around.

“Loki?”

“Ssh” he placed a hand over Thor’s mouth “someone is in here with us”

Thor tensed and slowly let go of Loki, placing his feet on the ground. His hammer was immediately by his side and he looked around, trying to find a movement, anything to indicate the presence Loki was talking about.

“Can you see who it is?” he asked

“No” Loki shook his head “But this magic – I know this magic”

His hand was on Thor’s arm and it didn’t take long for the two of them to spot the movement by the balcony.

“There”

Thor pointed ahead, to where the drapes were; one was moving, the other wasn’t.

“Do you have a spell ready?” Thor asked

“Aye”

Loki’s hand was glowing red as he cradled a spell in it and he followed Thor, keeping his eyes on the drape. The closer the got to it, the harder his heart started to beat and he prayed that it was that bastard, the one who had done this to Farbauti.

But when they were but a few feet away, both of them stopped when they heard whimpering. Scared, muffled and they realized that whoever it was, was probably scared, not malicious in their intent.

It caught them both off guard as they slowly approached the drapes.

“Whoever you are” Loki called loudly and clearly “If you are trapped in here, just tell us, we won’t harm you”

A sob answered this time and Thor sighed, hooking his hammer to his belt as he walked to the drapes to push them apart.

“Who -?”

Thor paled in shock and it took Loki a second to place that crying, miserable little figure and recognize who it was.

Stunning blue eyes, just like Thor’s, blonde hair to match his, but smaller, kinder, sweeter, the late Queen Gaia looked up at them, thin and shaking, shivering and frightened. She looked at Thor, then at Loki, cowering from them both.

Thor’s lips were nearly blue in shock and he stood there, stock still, unable to move, unable to let the drape go as he stared at her – his mother, looking at them, at him, like she faced monsters.

“M-Mother…?” Thor whispered, his voice broken.

Gaia looked at him, then at Loki and swallowed heavily “Thor, where am I?”

Her voice was just the same, just like he remembered but he couldn’t reply, he couldn’t think much less respond.

“What happened to me?” Gaia turned to face him “my son…”

Loki was shocked into silence, he was stunned, that is why it took him so long. That is why it didn’t occur to him what was happening, but the moment she stepped close to his husband, Loki was broken out of it.

“Thor, get back!” Loki hurled a surge of magic at Gaia

The woman turned and screamed when it hit her and Thor shouted in horror when she went through the balcony glass and hit the marble outside.

“No!”

Thor’s broken cry filled the room and he ran to her, falling on his knees beside her prone form, paling in shock when he saw blood seep from the corner of her lips.

“No…” he whispered, pulling her small, gentle frame into his arms “No, no, Loki, what have you done!?”

Loki strode over and grabbed his arm, pulling it back “Let her go, this is a curse! Let her go!”

He grunted in pain when Thor shoved him back and he fell to the ground. His eyes were on that figure in his arms and Loki got up again.

“This is a trick, Thor” he went to him again “Your mother isn’t here, think! How could she be here, in Jotunhiem!?”

“I don’t care!” Thor said, his eyes wide and intense in the spell “She’s back, she heard me, she is back”

Loki growled and took a step forward again, only to have a sinister laugh reach his ears from the side. He turned and immediately two spells formed in his hands when he looked at Angrboda.

“You did this” Loki snarled at him

“I did” Angrboda strode over, clearly proud of what he had done “and you can put those spells down, it will do you no good. And he can’t hear you unless I allow it”

“What do you want?” Loki demanded, not letting go of the spells “Why are you tricking him?”

“How else am I supposed to get your attention?” Angrboda purred “You are _such_ an elusive man and I have been _longing_ to meet with you without your husband for so long”

Loki didn’t buy that for a second, Angrboda was not one to linger over something unless it benefitted him somehow and he narrowed his eyes at him.

“Such suspicion” Angrboda drawled, moving closer “You think I am lying to you”

“The thought did cross my mind” Loki said, keeping himself between Angrboda and Thor “You are a master at that, are you not?”

“Perhaps” Angrboda treaded even closer, a smile on his lips “I am much better at other things, but you possibly know that. Tell me, is he as good as I was to you?”

Loki smirked “He’s better”

He shot the spell at Angrboda, a sizzling, burning spell to char his face to ash and force him to let Thor go. He wanted to see him in pain, he wanted to see him writhe in agony.

But he faltered when he saw Angrboda stay still, not even defend himself and the spell vanish inches from his face. It disintegrated before Loki’s eyes and he felt another presence right behind him.

Loki spun around, then choked when a hard, cruel hand wrapped around his throat. His hands went to the wrist holding him, lifting him into the air as it had done to Thor.

Malekith smiled at him “I knew you would come”

Loki gasped, choking and looking at Thor, trying to get him to move, to help him.

But the man was lost under the spell, sitting there, holding a body that wasn’t there and whimpering to it, crying softly in renewed pain.

“You have something I need, Child” Malekith said, his eyes red with the use of the Aether.

“Aye, how do you think we should make him give it to us?” Angrboda drawled as he came over “He seems awfully possessive of it”

Malekith gave him a dismissive glance, then lowered his gaze to Loki’s chest.

“I break it out of him” Malekith smiled “he will give it to us. He’s weak, just like his mother was”

Loki grit his teeth and growled, trying to get enough air in his lungs to breathe and kill this monster. But the harder he tried, the harder Malekith squeezed and he was fighting just to stay conscious.

“But first, I will make him suffer” Angrboda announced, going to Thor “I want to make him see me kill this one”

Malekith turned to him sharply “Do not touch him. He’s mine”

Angrboda scoffed “He’s weak, we kill him now, that makes sense!”

He went to Thor again and reached for him the second something started to go wrong. His feet, his legs started to burn up and he cried out in pain before he looked down.

“No!”

Loki had no love for him, none, he had wanted to make him suffer and burn him alive but what happened even had him closing his eyes.

Malekith’s spell was like him – monstrous and cruel, unkind and merciless. It burned Angrboda, lighting his blood aflame, his screams were endless, his pleadings echoed around them as he howled in agony, melting into the marble as though he was nothing but a lit candle.

It was terrifying, it was the worst thing Loki could have imagined and it lasted forever.

Angrboda’s screams were full of pain and torture as he died a slow, lingering death, no mercy granted to him until he was nothing but a repulsive puddle of his former self a few paces from Thor.

And Thor didn’t even turn.

But a few seconds later, Gaia vanished from his hands and Loki choked in horror when Thor fell forward, laying face down and unconscious.

“Thor!” Loki gasped “No!”

“If you want him to live, let me have the Aether” Malekith said “I will not give him too much time to live, so think wisely and let me have it”

Loki grit his teeth, his tears slipping down his cheeks as he looked at his husband, the man he loved, laying prone on the ground.

“Not …” Loki gasped

Thor wasn’t moving, his life wasn’t moving and Loki let out a sob of despair before he nodded

Malekith smiled and jammed his hand into Loki’s chest, infused by magic to take what he wanted.

***

“You can stop fussing now”

Thor’s voice was half misery and half cheer at the attention he was getting. The room was filled with healers of every station, with half the royal family, two mages, servants and all of them surrounded Thor as he sat on the couch, checking and rechecking him.

Bestla was in the lead, having him looked over by everyone, hovering over him, tipping his head back, making them look at his eyes, checking for concussion or any lingering damage he had.

Beside him, on the bed and slightly more injured than Thor was, lay Loki, who had a balm over his throat and chest. He was told to avoid wearing a tunic and was covered only by the soft covers of the medical bed he had been given.

He moved in and out of sleep, the spell Malekith used on him made him dizzy and nauseous, the strain on his body was rough so the healers injected him with something to alleviate his suffering. They had told Thor that they knew what they were doing but the prince calmed only when Queen Bestla took over and started to heal Loki herself.

It was one of her many talents, she told the healers. She was better than most of them, she demonstrated.

They watched her with awe and Thor watched her with relief when she hovered over both Loki and himself.

According to her, she was not losing either of them.

Once Loki was stable, however, even though he was sedated, she moved on to Thor, who cherished her care. Then of course the flood of people entered the healing chambers and since then, Thor had been the center of their attention.

He enjoyed it, he truly did, the hovering, the worrying, the fact that they did every test imaginable to ensure he was alright… he didn’t want to admit but a lingering injury or side effect was a major worry in his head.

He repeated that they could stop hovering and most of them backed away, telling him to let them know if anything remotely dire happened and he promised he would, but Bestla stayed, as did Laufey.

Both of them were worried and it warmed Thor’s heart to see Laufey linger to Loki’s side more than he did on Thor’s. He knew Loki would never believe it, but the King cared for him.

If not before, then now definitely. He touched his shoulder as he slept, brushed his hair back and whispered soothing words for him when Loki twitched in his sleep.

It seemed the loss of his love had likely driven him to it, but Thor didn’t mind and he hoped Loki wouldn’t, either.

He needed the assurance that someone was there for him.

“He’s stronger than he appears”

Thor turned to his grandmother when she spoke and smiled “Much stronger. Often I wonder if he is stronger than I am”

“Undoubtedly” Bestla snorted “not that you aren’t, but his strength is slightly different”

“And less valued, though it is no less” Thor sighed, folding his hands over the crisp white healing wing sheets “where is he?”

“That creature?” Bestla asked “We don’t know. There was no one there when the guards ran to your door, only you, Loki and that – pile of what used to be the other Jotun”

Thor sighed “If I hadn’t fallen under that spell, this wouldn’t have happened”

“That spell was sheer cruelty” Bestla told him “You couldn’t have known what would happen.”

Thor lowered his gaze to the sheets and grit his jaw “I should have known it was impossible”

Bestla’s face turned sad and she placed a gentle hand on his head “It was a child’s prayer that he manipulated. It is not your fault”

She saw Thor’s hands fist in the sheets and leaned over to kiss his head

“I will return after a while, I have to tell Irpa all is well and help in organizing a search for that demon”

Thor nodded, but stayed silent and she kissed his head again before she left, entrusting the healers and Laufey with her two boys.

Thor was eager for Loki to wake, he wanted to hold him in his arms and try and soothe both their pain. He wanted to be there for him when he woke, too, but since he was still asleep, only changing his sides every now and then, Thor settled for watching Laufey.

The King, the father Loki was rejecting.

The man looked lost, he looked gaunt and tired and Thor could sympathize. He has lost someone dear to him, once before he met Loki, he knew that pain and the guilt that came with it. There was no going past it, not when it was fresh.

Thor had coped with it with anger, Laufey was better than him – he was coping by caring for the son his love has given to him.

Even now, he sat, holding Loki’s hand and praying for him.

It touched Thor that he was so concerned and he lowered himself a little to lay back better to perhaps catch a few hours of sleep.

The movement caught Laufey’s eye and he smiled then pushed himself to stand

“He won’t wake if I am here” he said lamely, his eyes filled with sadness “And will likely hate that I was the first person around him”

“Don’t say that” Thor frowned lightly “He might be cold and hurt, but he does not hate your presence. Granted, you could have brought this care sooner, but I doubt it would be unwelcome”

Laufey’s lip quirked in a sad sort of smirk and he nodded “thank you for saying that. I shall leave you be. Rest as much as you can till we find that thing and put a stop to him”

Thor nodded “Thank you”

He moved further under the covers and closed his eyes, then fell asleep a few minutes later. The blankets over him were warm, so was the room, it didn’t take him long to doze off.

The level of comfort in these chambers was sublime and he woke only once in the night when he felt something move against him. The soothing silence of the wing also had him listening to the movement so close by and when he opened his eyes in the dim light, he saw Loki snuggling into his chest, fitting himself on the medical bed. He placed an arm around Loki and set his chin atop his head, then went right back to sleep with his lover in his arms.

When he woke next, Loki was standing, talking to a healer, Thor’s medical chart held in his hands. His back was to Thor and he had that determined jut of his jaw that told him that Loki was about to get his way.

The healer has a stoic sort of look in his eyes and simply nodded to everything that Loki was saying. Thor could hear snippets of it, mostly because he was paying attention to Loki and thinking of what he would do when Loki came to him, but he heard ‘scan’ and ‘test’, which automatically told him that Loki was going to have him prodded and tested until he was satisfied.

Thor wouldn’t have minded if Loki had been the one prodding him, but since it wasn’t, he extended a hand for Loki the moment he turned.

“I’m fine” he said

“You don’t know that” Loki placed the medical chart aside and his fingertips began to glow “Let me see”

“See away” Thor placed a hand on his hip when Loki sat on the bed and touched his fingers to his temples.

Thor hummed and Loki rolled his eyes

“Can you not think of anything else for once?” Loki asked irritated

Thor raised a brow at the snappy tone “Is everything alright?”

“No” Loki said “Now hold still, I am still checking you”

Thor closed his eyes and lay back. He could feel his seidr, his magic touch Loki’s and respond to it, giving him the answers Loki needed. It didn’t surprise Thor, how easily Loki pulled the answers of his health from him, but what did surprise him was the angry sigh Loki gave before he sat back and just glowered.

Not at Thor, no, at his hands, the bed, the floor. Something was truly bothering him.

Thor waited a minute for him to speak and when Loki didn’t, he reached over to tip his head up and looked into his eyes

“Is everything alright?” Thor repeated

Loki exhaled angrily, then he shook his head “I went to the healer here to get tested. I had thought that maybe Eir was wrong, that the Aether was blocking her magic and making it look like I was … like I was …”

He broke off, pressing his lips together firmly and Thor could feel his pain.

“She wasn’t wrong” Loki whispered, looking at him “I am barren, I am sterile. I am n-nothing…”

Thor felt his mouth part in hurt when Loki doubled over and put his head on Thor’s chest. He covered his head with his hand and stroked his arm with the other as Loki all but bled out against him.

“I’m so sorry,” Thor whispered “My darling, my sweetheart, I am sorry”

Loki shook his head “Have I not suffered enough? I can’t have anything without it being tainted by pain, how is that fair to me?”

Thor shook his head “It isn’t … it isn’t, Loki, I … I am so sorry”

He kissed his hair, stroked his back, tried everything he could to calm him down. But Loki was in pain and Thor was helpless, he didn’t know what to do or even if he did, he didn’t know how to do it. He held him and waited for Loki to lift his head and calm down.

When he did, he only moved to lay atop Thor and let him wrap his arms around him so he felt protected, both from his thoughts and his pain.

“I want to go back” Loki said “I want to go to Asgard, I don’t want to stay here anymore. I want to go back, I want to find him and I want to kill him. He killed my mother, he killed her, I don’t…”

Thor felt his body tense and rubbed slow circles on his back “We’ll get him. He is not going to escape us, Loki, you and I will end him.”

“We have to find him, we need Heimdall, we have to go back now” Loki whispered

“Anything you want” Thor kissed his head “we will go back, we won’t stay here another second”

Once they got home, Thor would dedicate his life to making Loki’s better. He would give him anything he asked for and everything he wouldn’t ask for or hesitate to ask for.

Including vengeance.

But for now, Loki needed his comfort and his love and Thor had more than enough of that for him. He would always have it.

***

Their announcement to return was met with protests.

Mostly from Laufey. He didn’t want Loki to go, not so soon at least. He wanted to make things right, he wanted to say something, he had an urgency about him and it didn’t leave him.

“You can’t leave so soon” Laufey held Loki’s hand within his own “you just got here”

Irpa came over to set a hand on his back “Darling, it’s alright”

Behind him, Byleistr and Helblindi were much the same. They didn’t want Loki to go either and though Loki had reservations about them, it still touched him that they wanted him to stay.

“We have left the Kingdom” Loki tried “and I am tired, my lord, I have had a trying time so far”

He pulled his hand from his father’s and stepped back, bowing to him. Beside him, Bestla and Thor did the same. Thor bid them farewell and smiled at Laufey.

Laufey, who looked right about to break as he watched Loki leave. Thor could swear he heard Laufey’s heart break again.

He had really wanted Loki to stay.

They had a carriage that would take them to the farthest part of Jotunhiem, from there, they would be taken by the bi frost. It was warm inside and Bestla instantly pulled out a book to read. Her feet were pulled out of her boots and curled under her and Loki gave her a fond smile.

He loved her so much.

Thor felt the sadness settle upon Loki and put an arm around his shoulders, relaxing Loki against him once the man set his head on Thor’s shoulder. Thor placed his cheek on Loki’s head and closed his eyes, basking in his presence.

They were silent and calm the entire way back, watching the horizon.

Or at least, Thor was.

Jotun skies were beautiful to look at. They were the darkest, most stunning blue and made the stars shine brighter than he had ever seen in any other realm, Asgard included. They looked their best in the velvet of the skies.

He was mesmerized, watching them as they passed, the subtle movements of the clouds over the painted canvas of stars and space, when something began to shine in the distance.

Thor narrowed his eyes and moved closer to the window to focus on it. It looked like a sun, an orb, shining in the distance, matching the beat of a heart.

It was red at the base, then glowed orange, then yellow, thudding in the distance and resonated of magic.

The orb glowed, softly, getting larger and larger, glowing brighter and brighter. It had caught Loki’s attention, too, who leaned over Thor to look at it, frowning at it.

“What the hell is that?” Loki whispered

As they watched, it grew further, powered by whatever was driving it.

Then it exploded.

A sonic boom blasted from it and the window shattered, the shockwaves toppled the carriage and everyone inside. Bestla’s scream was joined by the screaming of the Jotun kingdom, the distant thudding and falling of huge stones and boulders from the mountains joined them when they too were shaken.

Chaos broke out shortly after and the orb shot to the sky, erupting the blue to red and spreading farther and farther until the beautiful blue was gone, replaced by a sinister red.

It didn’t take a genius to know who was causing it.

Thor kicked the door to the toppled carriage open and climbed out, pulling out Bestla, then the driver while Loki emerged on his own, his eyes widening when he saw what was before them.

“That’s Malekith” Thor rasped, then turned to Bestla “Grandmother, are you alright?”

“I am” Bestla brushed glass and snow off her “Loki?”

“I’m well” he looked at Thor “we have to stop him”

“Alone?” Bestla gasped “You two can’t do that! We need to get to Asgard, get help!”

“You go” Thor told her “But if we don’t do something, he will ….”

He broke off as a deafening blare sounded from the very skies themselves and they covered their ears, feeling it reverberate through their bones.

Loki looked up, his expression turning horrifies when he saw the Aether covering even the clouds and making them vanish. He saw the horrific sound vibrate through the realm and in the distance, he saw mountains start to turn to dust and lift into what was once the Jotun sky.

“Thor!” Loki tried to shout over the terrifying noise, but even he couldn’t hear himself.

Yet somehow, Thor looked at him and he knew exactly what Loki wanted. Lowering their hands and wincing against the sound that flooded their hearing and thinking, Thor and Loki held their hands tightly together.

The next moment, Thor shot into the air, holding Loki against him as they soared towards the source of this apocalypse.

Loki had his magic with him, but he had no control of the Aether, yet that would not stop him. Thor had his rage and his hammer, but no chance of defeating Malekith.

There was a high chance that one or the other of them would end up dead after this encounter.

Yet, they soared, speeding through the air, avoiding any obstacle that came before them.

Tonight, Malekith was to breathe his last whether or not they both survived.

On the other side, far away from them for now, Malekith was working.

The Aether had the power to manipulate any crystal it came into contact with. It could change its basic structure, transform it into itself and grow stronger and stronger till it could devour entire realms. It was like a disease, spreading from crystal to crystal, transforming it into itself and growing more powerful with each devoured victim.

And tonight, Malekith had his eyes on the ice crystals of Jotunhiem, the very source of the mountains, glaciers and the cold that made up the realm. He was going to tear them out from beneath the ground once the Aether completed its take over, then he would destroy this planet and move on to Vanahiem, taking her life and power, its magic, then another until he and the Aether became so powerful that nothing could stop him, nothing would take away this victory.

He had his feet planted firmly into the ground, his eyes were red, his face marked with the tattoo of one that controlled the Aether. He had his hands raised up above his head as he sounded the death knoll, alerting everyone who could hear that their end was near, that Malekith and the Aether were coming for them.

The blood red of the sky was art to him, beautiful, glorious, so stunning above a snow that would soon be painted the same color when Malekith completed his masterpiece.

He loved this rush, the one that came with having unlimited power between his hands. He was not to share with anyone. He was too strong for it now, too potent in his power.

Nothing could stop him now, least of all some skinny Jotun brat who stole the Aether from him.

The mountains crumbled to dust under the assault of the siren the Aether played and Malekith’s dark heart beat with joy when he saw the first tip of the ice crystals peek out from the shattered mountaintop.

He grinned and the siren got even louder under his command, howling relentlessly and driving those listening to near madness.

And that was when something collided with him so hard he was thrown to his side, grunting at the impact of his body hitting the hard, cruel ground.

The siren stopped and even Malekith was temporarily deafened by the sudden silence. He looked up, the silence hissing and buzzing whispers in his ears, to see the Odinson come at him.

His face was contorted with rage and he raised his hammer to bring it down upon Malekith’s head.

But the elf was quick and he whipped his hand forth, sending a blow forming above his head by the Aether and rocketing into Thor the ground.

He didn’t anticipate Loki jumping from behind him, two daggers held within his hands. Malekith struck again but the Jotun slashed through it, knocking it away with his own power and leaping onto a shocked Malekith.

Malekith rolled to the side, avoiding the daggers by barely an inch and seeing them jam into the ground.

He still heard nothing, but the red lighting made Loki look positively sinister when he yanked them out and attacked again.

This time, Malekith blocked him, pushing him back and swinging his leg out to take Loki’s feet from beneath him. His back hit the ground and Malekith noticed something that startled him further.

The Aether had rippled, as though responding to Loki’s pain while it circled around the planet, blanketing it in its cruel grasp.

The Aether had responded to Loki.

Behind him, Malekith felt Thor stand up and stalk him, so attuned was he to the current and warning the Aether chose to give him. He spun around to dodge his hit and grinned victoriously when the hammer Thor had hurled at him, knocked Loki down instead.

The Aether rippled again, harder this time, but Malekith was given no time to dwell on it. He turned and crossed his arms over his head when Thor brought his own down in a blow so hard he was forced back.

And his hearing returned.

The hissing and sizzling of the Aether grew sharp at first, then slowly, the elf began to hear even the slightest shift around him. He gave Thor a malicious grin when he felt his Aether crawl over his arms and propel Thor back again, watching him fall into the snow and ice.

“Now” Malekith snarled, stalking to him “You get the chance to exact vengeance and this is how weak it is?”

He heard footsteps running up behind him and slashed at the air with his hand, causing the Aether to shoot from the ground and attack Loki as he ran at him. It hit him hard enough to have him sprawling a few feet away, falling hard into the ice.

“You and your pathetic whelp of a husband have no chance against me” Malekith told Thor, watching in glee as more of the Aether slithered over him, pinning his arms and legs down, wrapping around his throat to keep him there, splayed on the ground for Malekith to kill.

“Look at you” Malekith purred “Just as helpless as you were that day. You think you’ve changed, Odinson, you have not. You couldn’t save your mother then, you cannot save yourself now. I am stronger than I was before, what makes you believe you can defeat me?”

Mjolnir thrummed behind him and Malekith dodged her as she came to Thor’s awaiting, pinned arm. He tried raising her, to get his elemental powers into her but shouted in pain when the Aether formed a sharp point and crammed into his wrist, tearing his muscles apart and sending his blood spraying the snow and ground he lay on.

He groaned in agony, Mjolnir falling from his grip, then screamed when more of those points started to push into his flesh, stabbing him painfully enough to have tears come into his eyes.

“Aye,” Malekith walked to stand over him “now look at me”

Thor hissed and panted in pain, turned his head to Malekith when he raised his hand to the sky.

The remaining Aether started to circle around them and rise up high into the sky, forming a taunting replica of Thor’s hammer. It was perfected down to the detail on Mjolnir’s side and Thor’s breathing began to escalate when he realized he was going to crush him under that thing.

Malekith grinned at him “How many have you crushed under your hammer, Odinson? Ironic that tonight, you will be the one to die beneath her”

“ _Monster_!”

Malekith whirled around at Loki’s scream and fell under his tackle when the man threw himself at him. They fell into the ice and Aether, the hammer dissolved into nothing and the Aether holding Thor down evaporated like steam, leaving him free. Only, all he did was groan and curl up, his injuries bleeding out.

“You murderer!” Loki punched Malekith in the face once, twice, thrice, then picked his blade off his side and stabbed him in the shoulder.

Malekith screamed in pain and used the Aether to knock Loki off. He kicked him hard as he sat up but Loki didn’t relent. He leapt at him again, his blades jamming and bashing Malekith’s sides. The Aether covered the wounds instantly, however, healing him in seconds and Loki snarled in frustration, falling off him again when Malekith hit him.

There was no giving up and with Thor bleeding on his side, Loki had no choice.

He came at Malekith again and again and _again_ and _again_

The elf fought him off, pulling more and more Aether to himself, trying to get past the shield Loki raised around himself, using his own magic to try and gain the upper hand but all he did was get angrier and angrier when Loki just wouldn’t stop.

He was injured by the blows Malekith landed, his face was bleeding, one of his eyes was swollen shut, yet he stood, daggers in both hands, fighting him, matching him blow to blow, keeping himself on his feet.

It was unnerving and the elf forced more Aether upon him, covering the shield he had then himself, making it spin around him in a vortex of power and crimson crystals, leaving aside the outside world so only the two of them would fight.

“You’ll never be rid of it” MAlekith told Loki over the sheer screaming of the Aether “it’s too powerful to be destroyed!”

“Aye” Loki agreed “But you aren’t”

He smirked at him and flickered out of existence, vanishing.

Malekith gasped and felt his presence behind him again. He turned and choked when Loki pushed both daggers into his throat and kicked him square in the chest, throwing him out of the cyclone the Aether had formed. He grunted when he fell down, then looked up to see Loki emerge from within the twisting, turning wall the Aether had formed like some sort of wraith.

It was impossible to breathe, Malekith’s hands clawed at his own throat, trying to get the daggers out, but he gagged on the steel power of the blades when Loki extended a hand and pushed them deeper, deeper, the torturous agony of it not enough to distract Malekith from the fact that he was pinning him to the ground with them.

Just like he had done to Thor.

Loki’s other hand was raised to Thor, who healed under his care. His wounds vanished and the grey tinge to his skin started to fade back to his normal color. He gasped sharply, his hands trembling as he looked over at them.

“Get up” Loki told his husband “Thor, get up.”

Malekith twitched under the pain of those blades and and used the last of his strength to control the cyclone behind Loki and transform it into something else. It turned into a razor sharp spear, the size of the tower head Thor had seen in the Jotun palace aimed right for Loki, set to impale him.

It struck the second Thor screamed Loki’s name.

But in the same breath, both Malekith and were shocked when Loki turned just a little, looked the Aether dead on – and stopped it.

The whispering, hissing demonic element stopped under Loki’s command, stilling as he commanded.

And Malekith knew he was done for…Loki wasn’t letting him die – he kept him alive, healing  him just enough for Thor do to what he wanted.

His body started to go limp and Loki once more called to his husband. This time, Thor forced his aching body to his feet, picked his hammer and took Loki’s place before him.

His ice blue eyes were narrowed to slits, rage filled them and he snarled, panting heavily as he looked upon the creature that had killed his mother in cold blood, then Loki’s.

His hand tightened around the hilt of his weapon and he closed his eyes.

Before him came a vision he would never forget, it would haunt him for the rest of his life, taunt him and hurl him into a rage.

His mother, gliding through the air, falling down, light as a feather, the silk of her clothes flowing with her despite tainted with her blood, her eyes shocked and pained, her face stunned as she realized what was happening to her…

Thor’s eyes opened to reveal light and electricity dancing from them, his irises were replaced by power. Lightning sparked from his fingertips and spread over him like a rapidly growing fire, it was everywhere, indestructible, immortal and frizzling with power.

Thor’s hair floated around him as though he was under water, his entire body wrapped in the power that came from his lightning, much stronger than the Aether, much stronger than Malekith, much stronger than Odin himself.

His head tipped down to the monster he had trapped before him and he looked to the skies, raising his hammer to it.

The red broke like glass when lightning coursed from him, upwards, meeting with that which fell from the skies. They clasped each other, thunder roared above them, the long lost clouds returned to circle and lightning spread, biting at the surrounding Aether, breaking it apart, letting it fall to the ground when it disintegrated under the lightning.

Then it gathered above him once the Aether started to be pushed back and came soaring back – right into Malekith.

It was channeled by Thor, god of Thunder, pouring into Malekith, his screams drowning by the sizzling of his flesh and skin as Thor melted it off him while he thrashed and writhed, desperately trying to slash his own throat on the daggers Loki had pinned him with.

It was grotesque and terrifying and after a moment, Loki looked away from the howling, screaming agony that Malekith was, turning his gaze to the Aether as it grew shorter and shorter, the red fading to blue, Jotunhiem’s destruction brought to a halt by the two of them.

Malekith’s screaming got weaker and weaker until finally, finally, they stopped, halted under the bane of Thor’s power.

The lightning stopped its zapping, frizzling sound and Loki saw barely the ash that remained of Malekith.

He was gone.

They had done it.

They had won.

***

The destruction to Jotunhiem was great, but far less than it could have been and everyone called it the mercy it was. No one was expecting the realm to survive it, not after they learned what Malekith had intended for the frozen world.

The ice crystals gave Jotunhiem life, they gave it the snow and the chill that made it what it was. Without them, they would be lost.

The entire realm owed their lives to Thor and Loki, who had emerged victorious after the battle, making their way to the royal palace again.

It hadn’t remained unaffected and the two witnessed a chaotic rush where people were treated in the palace, laying in the verandas, the halls ways, any place that could function for those who needed rest after relatively minor injuries, was filled with patients and volunteers.

Bestla herself was in the healing wing, aiding those in serious conditions and had ordered more healers from Asgard to be sent. Loki and Thor saw many familiar faces as those from the realm eternal were covered in furs and cloaks, helping any one who needed it.

The casualties were much lower than they could have been had proper help not arrived promptly.

Even now, Thor could see the light of the bi frost blaze in the distance, sending down healers and aid wherever needed.

Bestla had done well for the realm of snow and ice.

Laufey and the royal family were amongst those working, lifting and carrying, Irpa and Byleistr were giving out food and water and cloaks and clothing to anyone who asked, everyone who was able, was helping those in need.

Thor and Loki were fine, they were exhausted, Thor more than his husband, and he leaned heavily on him as Loki led him to the chambers they had taken. It was only luck that the royal suites were vacant and Loki blessed the silence they felt when they entered, taking Thor to the bed. He lay him down on it, noting his exhaustion, then pushed himself off him.

“Let me get you a healer” Loki told him, turning to go.

He stopped when Thor grabbed his wrist and turned to look at him, confused

“Thor, you…”

“Be quiet” Thor ordered, pulling him closer until Loki was laying draped over him “Kiss me”

Loki rolled his eyes “You need a healer”

“I need no one but you” Thor lifted his head and pursed his lips “kiss”

Loki smirked and lowered his head, placing a kiss on his lips, then let out a startled sound when Thor flipped them over and trapped Loki beneath him.

“I do not like this trick” Loki told him

“Aye, you do” Thor said, kissing the corner of his mouth “Besides, I need it”

“You need it?” Loki raised a brow

“Yes” Thor brushed his hair back “I need you, my Loki, my lover”

He enunciated it with a kiss to his chin, his nose, then his mouth.

“My everything” Thor said, laying his head on his shoulder “please stay – I might doze off on you”

“Doze away” Loki told him, brushing his hair back “It’s not like you do not need it”

Thor smiled against his neck, Loki felt it and his hands played with Loki’s clothes. He closed his eyes and sighed, slowly relaxing so that he was limp atop Loki as they lay in the large bed.

A few seconds passed and Loki used his magic to raise and place the furs over them both so they could take the break they most definitely needed.

For tomorrow would be a dawn on a new life for them, for both Thor and his mail ordered husband.


	28. The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH. MY. GOD.
> 
> It took my two years. TWO YEARS to finish this, and i STILL GOT EMOTIONAL.
> 
> I want to thank all of my readers who stuck with me through this. I had ups and downs like anything during this story but you all stuck with me and commented and just ... you finished this, I didnt.
> 
> Thank you, all of you, thank you so much for giving me your time and your patience, bless you all.

Their return to Asgard was met with the flare and fanfare befitting their stations. For once, nothing but glee faced Loki, celebration and cheer.

They were treated like heroes, back from their quest and he took it all on, laughing with Thor when they were hoisted on the shoulders of Thor’s friends, to be taken into the palace, where they would tell their tales to one and all. Trumpets sang, people hooted and howled, bands played their song and ballads were shouted to the skies as they both made their way to it.

And before them, standing there with all the pride in their eyes, was the royal family.

They only knew the strength of Malekith when they saw Odin awake and smiling at them from the steps. The coincidence that the man was under until now only meant that Malekith had been the one controlling his sleep.

And that thought dampened a major part of their joy at being home.

Not that it couldn’t be revived, not when they bowed before Odin and he stopped them, not when he embraced not only Thor, but Loki, too, not when he looked the Jotun in the eye and then, before everyone watching, he lowered himself to his knees and placed Loki’s hand on his forehead – a sign of asking for forgiveness.

Loki stared at him, lost and gaping, silence greeted the gesture until the King stood and pulled him to his chest, his eye shut.

“Forgive me” Odin asked “For what I have done. Forgive an old fool, my son”

Loki was stunned. He didn’t expect this, but he was far than willing to forgive Odin for what he had said and done. The old king knew this, for he didn’t push, but he held him tight for a few moments longer, then released him.

He knew they were both tired, but he threw a feast that night, opening the gates for the public and letting them celebrate.

Thor and Loki were to make an appearance, then retire to their chambers. It was the pain of being royalty, they were told and though they wouldn’t stay for more than a few minutes, they still had to dress up for it.

And that was something Thor hated more than he let on.

His growl made Loki look up from where he was choosing his boots all the while consulting Ruben as the cat sat next to him. They both turned to look at Thor yanking the cloak off his shoulders and toss it aside in frustration.

Loki knew the man was tired, no matter how much rest they got on Jotunhiem, he was exhausted. They had slept for two days before they returned to Asgard, but he knew that even that time was not enough for Thor – the prince still wanted rest.

He clicked his tongue and walked to Thor barefoot, smiling at him.

“Come here” Loki whispered, going to pick up the cloak “Let me help before you ruin this fine piece of cloth I bought you”

“You didn’t buy this” Thor faced him “and it pisses me off”

“Language, darling” Loki crooned, opening the front of the cloak and placing it carefully around his broad shoulders “There you are”

He brought it closed and snapped the hook shut at his throat, then looked at his eyes.

“Was that difficult?”

“I don’t want to go to this stupid feast” Thor told him “I want to stay here and sleep”

“As do I” Loki smiled, fixing it by straightening the front, “but we are royalty, thus expected to go out”

He softened Thor by kissing him on the lips, but stopped when Thor grabbed his wrist, making him look at him in question.

Thor’s blue eyes were locked on Loki’s and he gently pulled him forward so he could cup his jaw and kiss him proper.

It made warmth trickle down Loki’s body, giving him the gentlest of shudders. He felt Thor’s hands slip behind him and lock at the small of his back as they kissed.

Thor’s brow furrowed as he kissed him and he groaned very softly into Loki’s mouth, both their eyes falling shut.

Loki’s hands went up his biceps, his shoulders, then tangled into his hair.

Thor laughed when his hair snagged on one of Loki’s rings and he ended the kiss, looking at him.

“Perhaps we should…put that on hold till we get back” he reached back to untangle his hair, then kissed Loki’s fingers and let him go “otherwise they might be waiting for a very long time.”

“Let them wait” Loki stepped towards him, wanting more kisses “we saved the realms, we deserve this”

Thor laughed and gave him the kiss he needed, then stepped back

“Later, I promise” Thor said, kissing his nose “bottle it up and unleash it upon me later”

“I’ll unleash something on you” Loki muttered, stepping back “And just so you know, I am getting drunk tonight, just because you said no”

Thor raised his brows as Loki went to the door “How is that a punishment for me?”

“It will be when you care for me and I get sick on your boots” Loki opened the door “Now come on, your precious audience awaits”

His precious audience, it seemed, was suddenly far less important to Loki and his need to have Thor that instant because all thought of it being a royal duty faded entirely from his head.

They spent the agreed upon few minutes, waving and smiling to the masses, bowing and greeting the council members and chatting briefly with nobility before Frigga guided them away.

Things were still cold between her and Odin, yet Thor knew his father would manage to win her over.

He was making amends and things would improve for him soon enough.

Thor had little time to dwell on that, though, because as the population of the feast increased, he and Loki were ushered back out with strict demands to sleep and do nothing else.

Demands that Loki was breaking the second they entered their bedroom.

Thor huffed as he was pushed against the door and his startled sound taken from his lips by Loki. The man groaned as he kissed him and Thor kissed him right back, his hands going to the fastening of Loki’s clothes while Loki used magic to undo his.

It was a trick Thor thoroughly enjoyed because a few minutes after, his bare back met with the cool sheets of their bed and Loki’s nails raked down his chest.

Thor hissed and arched off the bed a little in response, which made Loki snicker. It was the reaction he wanted. He slipped his hands beneath Thor’s back and planted his mouth at his neck, biting his skin, then licking it.

Thor’s large hand buried in his hair as Loki went lower and lower, worshiping him with his mouth, his teeth and his tongue. He nipped and kissed him, licked the sting his teeth left and nuzzled his toned belly, biting him hard enough to have Thor groan in arousal.

“Must you do that?” he whispered

“Must you look so delectable?” Loki countered, licking his away further and further down until he reached the spot he wanted to.

Thor gasped softly when Loki bit the inside of his thigh and his fingers curled around his thick length.

“Easy, husband” Loki crooned, nipping and pulling at the skin “I’m only just getting started”

He licked a line over his skin and Thor moaned in response, which Loki absolutely loved. He started to stroke him, his fingers casting a spell to make everything he did feel twice as better to Thor, so every touch, every rasp of his tongue had Thor writhing and moaning beneath him.

It was a sight to see, honestly, Loki loved it. He loved everything he did to Thor, how he arched for him, how his fingers pulled at the sheets beneath him.

It was beautiful and he was mesmerized by it.

He was stunned by the beauty that was his husband.

Thor let him take the lead, he let him pleasure him as Loki chose, how slow or fast he took it, everything. He wanted his husband to be in control and by the was he moaned and hissed, by the way he gasped out his name, Loki knew this was only the beginning of this new tradition.

When he straddled Thor and moaned, his head tipped back, Thor watched him. When he ground his hips down and took his touches to his hips, his back and his chest, Thor memorized him. Every movement he made was burned into Thor’s memory, seared there to savor afterwards. He loved the feel of Loki so tight around him, taking his entire length deep into his body and he loved that soft, raspy groan that escaped Loki’s lips when he grabbed those slender hips in his battle worn hands.

They were made for one another, Thor really believed this. No one else could have Loki, no one else could have Thor.

The way they fit together both literally and figuratively was proof enough of that. The way their bodies melded to one another, the feel of  each other on their lips, their fingertips, the most intimate part of each other’s body was all proof of this statement.

Loki began to move his hips and Thor moaned, grabbing him tighter, making him slow down or speed up as he wanted, making him give him the pleasure just as Thor took from him.

It was slow, but no less passionate when Loki kissed him hard, his tongue licked into Thor’s mouth, Thor’s hand tightened in his hair…

It was real and true love, right there, with each other, holding each other.

When they released, it was to the poetry of each other’s names and the tightening of their bond.

They held each other as they slept, both their arms wrapped tightly, holding on to the other even in slumber.

They gave each other peace, just like they gave each other love.

It was truly meant to be, their love.

***

Over the course of the next few months, things further improved for Asgard and the surrounding realms benefitted from it.

Thor and Loki’s tale spread far and wide and they received invites from each and every royal, begging them to visit, demanding the details of their heroic deeds.

Thor went along because Loki wanted to, Loki went along because he turned out to be a master story teller and enraptured every single person he relayed the tale to. In Alfhiem, he made them gasp and gape in awe, in Vanahiem, he used illusions and magic to let them see it all and give other realms something to be envious about once they heard of this. In Nilfhenhiem he made sure to scare and terrorize, in Nornhiem, he was quiet and humble with his words.

Each realm had a different genre to the same tale, each realm had something special and Thor realized he has the most diplomatically genius husband in all collected realms.

He also realized that Loki had a plan to make love to him in each and every realm and every home they spent the night in. _That_ he approved of a little more than anything else.

And if Loki enjoyed himself throughout, then that was an added bonus.

They loved to travel, they realized. Sometimes they took the bifrost, sometimes they went by road and oh, those journeys meant the world to them. This way, they stopped at inns and taverns they wouldn’t otherwise see, they ate food they didn’t think they would eat, together, they would challenge other patrons and drink them under the table, making friends in places they didn’t think they would see a kind face.

Loki raced with him, Thor loved those moments. It was here when he was most unreserved and happy, letting Thor chase him through the woods and meadows they stopped by, far from the guards and staff that travelled with them. Here, he was free as he could be.

It was also these moments where he was the saddest, hunched over and weeping for his loss. The loss of his mother, the loss of the children he would never have.

At these times, Thor would be with him, holding him close and giving him wordless comfort in his arms, letting him hit him if Loki wanted.

Afterwards, Loki would be himself again, pretending he didn’t break down against him and Thor would let him.

Their months of travel were the happiest they had been and it was during these travels that Thor came to him one night with a box in his hands.

Loki was swathed in soft furs and silks of the Alf noble who had insisted they stay with him. The clothes he has been wearing throughout the day were placed in a heap in the corner of the room and Thor knew from experience that should he pull the furs down, Loki’s sleek, smooth skin would greet him.

Loki preferred to sleep bare beneath the sheets, especially when they were silk.

Thor smiled as he saw a sliver of pale shoulder when he closed the distance between them and sat down on the edge of the low bed.

“Feeling better after your bath?” Thor asked, reaching over to push the covers off him a little

“Aye and no, none of that” Loki pulled the covers back, looking up at him “Think of something else”

Thor smiled and moved over, lowering his head to kiss and mouth at his shoulder “How can I think of something else when you look like that?”

Loki rolled his eyes and let him do as he pleased – until his eyes fell on the box Thor had.

“What’s that?”

Thor chuckled against his jaw and pulled back “Trust your greedy little eyes to see everything”

Loki narrowed his greedy little eyes at him “You’re hilarious”

“I know” Thor grinned, kissing his lips one last time and then pulled back “It is a gift for our one year anniversary”

Loki’s face went slack and he gaped at the box, then looked at Thor

“What?” he whispered, stunned “really?”

It had been a year?

A whole year of him being with Thor?

Thor smiled at him and kissed his head “Happy Anniversary, my darling”

Loki looked at the small box held in his fingers. Thor watched him hesitate, as though opening it would bring something other than happiness.

He didn’t blame Loki, the man had been through hell and back already

“It’s alright, my darling” Thor kissed his head “you can open it”

Loki swallowed heavily and slowly opened the box.

His breath caught in his throat when he saw a stunning pendant nestled in a chain of gold and amber.

It was a circle, the most thinly cut stone Loki had ever seen, bordered by rubies and emeralds. Loki could see himself wearing this and pulled it out, staring at it

“Thor…”

“You’re welcome” Thor started to kiss his neck and jaw “Hold it to the light”

Loki’s brow furrowed in confusion but he did as he was asked, lifting it to the light. He felt his heart swell in love when he saw his portrait and Thor’s laced with magic and glowing inside the stone.

“It’s beautiful”

“It is” Thor smiled, looking at Loki, not the pendant “absolutely stunning”

Loki smiled and looked at him, then set the pendant aside and pulled Thor over him.

“Come here, you” Loki whispered, kissing him the second he could “I love you. I love you, Thor, my husband”

Thor smiled just as much, kissing him back, his face, his lips, his neck “Mine, too. Mine heart, my beautiful Loki”

His mail ordered husband, the love of his life, the one who changed him for the better and the one who he would spent the rest of his days cherishing and spoiling.

His love, his Loki

 

 

 


End file.
